FAR FROM WEAK

Believe it or not, this could have been a pretty cool title, maybe another book will be written with this title if there’s enough interest, who knows. In the previous chapter, self identity and the importance of knowing who you are as a man was discussed, leadership was also mentioned, now we’re not necessarily talking about physical strength here (yes it is important but not the only factor for strength), but also strength of mind and character.

A female friend some time ago, whom is involved with a gentleman, said her boyfriend is very secure because he shows her vulnerability, embraces his weakness as a man, is actively working on them and isn’t afraid to be show his flaws with her, the thought then came to mind, how many men actually do that, she was asked, she said not alot of men in society, especially in Jamaica, Dr. Murray certainly agrees, now put your pitch forks down, no need for a riot but here’s the deal.

The same female stated that young man’s father always told him that knowing and embracing weakness as a man is important as it allows a man to overcome that weakness/their weakness’ and allows him to be more capable in all realms of life whether physically, emotionally, mentally, financially which should be the ultimate goal of any male in society. The thought was profound (very great) but it’s true.

Another female gave an insightful quote, “a soft man hides his weakness and a tough/strong man embraces his weakness as he sees the need to work on his self and on any weakness”. Dr. Murray stated that boys are not taught in the home how to show vulnerability and that this is a trait of toxic masculinity; Females know that males are human beings and as men there will be weaknesses and strengths that make up one’s character and defines any man, once again, ask who are you?

In addition, analyse strengths and weaknesses then write down how to overcome those weaknesses? Is there any help needed from a professional then seek one, which is also another part of overcoming any weakness; Dr. Murray argued that getting help for any weaknesses makes one strong. It was expressed to Dr. Murray that on behalf of most men especially locally in Jamaica, many don’t show weakness as if vulnerability was shown whether in the home or a romantic relationship etc automatically they are labelled as weak, stereotyped negatively etc, she argued that this is one of the leading causes of toxic masculine behaviours and asked the question, “Should men stay weak and not embrace and work on their own weakness as a result?”.

Think about it, no matter what people will always talk but once again know yourself through active work, recognise any weakness and work on them. This way you’ll be better able to understand yourself and the world. Remember being told about leadership, men don’t always have to be strong but there has to be strength to recognise and work on any weaknesses so as to become stronger and more capable men in society.

Several females were asked what are some top traits desired in a man? One of the top answers received, try this experiement for yourself, was strength of character, being secure enough to know there will be weaknesses as a man and that’s ok, just be willing to put in the work to overcome any weakness. Dr. Murray has this interesting quote which should put everything into perspective, “a man is first a human being, then a man”. Interesting isn’t it, men and humans are born limited, a fact of life but the bottom line is once you as a man are able to once again know yourself through work and you are pushing the boundaries of your weaknesses in a safe way, then call yourself FAR FROM WEAK!