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Attraction The Law Of Attraction And Relationships 5


Getting Back to the Basics of Love and Romance 40


7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier 37


10 Tips To Make Sure Your Financial Budget Will Succeed 50

psychology popular No0/2014

Tips to improve your life

Better Sex Life

4 Easy Ways to Spice Up Things in the Bedroom

10 Career Change Myths

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In this Issue Tips for a Better Life Law of Attraction 9 The Law Of Attraction And Relationships Bad Habits 14 Avoiding Bad Habits Feng Shui 17 Advantages of Applying Feng Shui in Your Life Life Coach 21 Life Coach - Do You Need One Staying Young 24 How To Look Younger

5  Law of Attraction

7 Ways to Use the Law of Attraction to Manifest Faster Results

Stress Management 28 Activities That Will Help Relieve Stress

Love and happiness Happiness 37 7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier Improve Your Marriage 40 Getting Back to the Basics of Love and Romance Tips To A Better Sex Life 43 4 Easy Ways to Spice Up Things in the Bedroom

Jobs and Finance

32 Dating

12 Dating Traps and Solutions

46 C areer Tips

10 Career Change Myths

Finance 50 10 Tips To Make Sure Your Financial Budget Will Succeed Job 54 Job-Searching-Why-YouShould-Use-Your-LocalNewspapers

Self development Psychology 61 Four Cognitive Skills for Successful Learning Self Confidence 65 Check Your Confidence Levels

58 Personal Development

Fear in Interpersonal and Personal Development


January 2014

Self Determination 68 10 questions you should ask to yourself Self Improvement 71 10 Things You Can Eat That Can Make You Clever

From the Editor


Welcome to the first issue of Popular Psychology Magazine.

his journal is a collection of the best articles that cover four main topics: Tips for a Better Life, Love and Happiness, Jobs and Finance and Self Development. We will try to help you find answers to some questions, from Law of Attraction and Bad Habits, through Happiness and Finance, to the Job and Self Improvement. This release is here to introduce you with the topics that you will be able to read about in future editions, each month. Today there are a lot of magazines, books and articles on the Internet that deal with similar topics and try to offer answers to problems that have people all over the world. All these texts say that, if exactly follow their instructions, success is guaranteed. But is it really like that? Do the same rules apply to all people around the world? Can you achieve your dreams in the same way in United States, Polish, India or Egypt? Have you tried to apply in everyday life some tips that you read somewhere? Did it work? We would like to hear about your experience, positive or negative. If you have something you would share with the rest of the world, please contact us. Sometimes, other people’s experiences can be more useful, than the best advice. Therefore, we invite readers around the world to help us to jointly create a magazine that will be able to offer high-quality articles with interesting tips and experiences of people who have tried to apply these tips in everyday life.

Let’s grow together!

Neboysha Dolovacki Editor


January 2014

Law of Attraction

7 Ways to Use the

Law of Attraction to Manifest Faster Results

Manifesting takes a delicate balancing act. The law of attraction requires a look inside of yourself to gain more harmony with the universe. The moment you discover the steps everything flows faster and greater. 5

January 2014

Law of Attraction


he whole idea of the law of attraction is to be a co creator with God in manifesting the things that are deepest to your heart. When you use the law of attraction in the right way you can experience manifesting your desires at a much faster rate than you ever would have had you not made the effort to use it correctly.


January 2014

You can use the law of attraction to manifest faster results by taking the following steps.


Be Grateful Now

Gratitude can dramatically change your life but best of all it gets the law of attraction to give you more of what you are feeling grateful and happy for. When you are feeling frustrated and down the law of attraction gives you more reasons to feel down. You manifest more situations that make you feel unhappy. So as the first rule to manifesting faster results begin to see all the things in your present life that you are grateful for no matter how simple it is.


Speak of It

It may seem hypocritical at first when you learn of the law of attraction to speak of your desires as if they are already here. In reality all things are already created. The moment a thought is conceived you have brought it into your reality. The more you speak of that thought the stronger it becomes and the faster it moves into your state of being. Think of a child who becomes eager about the thing he or she wants. See how eager they are about it? They

look up pictures about it, they speak about what they will do when they get it. They don’t worry about how or when it will come, they just know and above all they are excited about it. Speak with joy about what will come into your life because your words and thoughts about it feeds that creation and brings it to you faster.


Surround Yourself With The Things You Desire

You maybe asking, how can I surround myself

Law of Attraction with the things that I want if I don’t have it? It may not be yours at the moment but you can borrow, you can visit, above all you can place yourself in the environment and among the people who are closely link to the things you desire. The successful application of the law of attraction depends on you already being in that energy of what you want. It is up to you to create the state that you want to attract and you do so by being among the things that you want until it is fully yours. The law of attraction will give you quite easily what you bring into your focus, whether you are speaking of it or observing it. You get more of what you surround yourself with.


Let Go!!!

Let go of what you want. Yes, let it go. Know that you desire to experience a particular thing but don’t hold on out of fear of doubt. The more you cling on to the needing or wanting feeling the more disastrous your manifesting will be. You will only succeed in feeling more needy. Allow yourself to feel full and confident. Those who understand how the universe and the laws of attraction work easily understand the power of their intention and don’t feel stress or needy. They create and know that the law of attraction is working for them and what they create will soon manifest. They create then let go and move into the state of receiving.

There is a great paradox that comes with letting go because a very large part of manifesting requires that you give a lot of focus to your desire but there is a delicate balancing act of focus without feeling needy or being clingy.


LOA for the

Real World 7 Big Fat Clues to Getting What You Want

Learn to Receive

To activate the law of attraction you must move into the state of receiving. This is something most people cannot do. Many people say that they want certain things but few people know how to receive those things that they are asking for. Most people feel doubtful or unworthy about what they want. Deep within they feel that they do not deserve nor will they get what they are

Free ad lo downn o n! Amazo A few of the things you’ll learn in this ebook... 1. The key to effortless manifesting 2. The one time it’s ok to ignore the advice you hear again and again from many LOA experts 3. The addiction that prevents you from getting what you want (and how to fix it) 4. You’ve probably heard that “nothing is more important than that you feel good”... which is true! But I’ll tell you when you absolutely must ignore this advice if you want success in your manifesting 5. How to handle manifesting failure 6. And the most powerful habit you can embrace to amp up your manifesting success


January 2014

Law of Attraction asking for. Those tiny feeling of unworthiness are giant blocks in the manifesting process and can only serve in destroying what you are hoping to attract. The law of attraction is a science that takes you deep into your inner nature and allows you to see where you are feeling disconnected as a co-creator with God and the universe. Become worthy and allow yourself to receive.


Become Worthy Now

Become worthy by recognizing that you can manifest anything that you want because you are Gods and Goddesses and what you desire is only a tiny speck in the universe. You deserve to manifest what you want because when you are rich you influence those around you in positive ways. When you use the law of attraction to manifest a better life you are in the flow and in a better state of adding value to the world. The faster you can feel worthy of what you desire to manifest the faster it will come. One of the biggest blocks in manifesting is the feeling of unworthiness that most people feel. God wants you to have, the universe is


January 2014

great enough and there is more than enough for you and everyone else. You are worthy!.

Give What You Desire Most


You may not have all the money in the world for yourself but you do have something of value and that thing which is of value to you may be in scarce supply to someone else. Give to others and you will be stunned and amazed by how fast the law of attraction will manifest abundance in your life. There is a natural flow in the universe and in order to manifest more you must also be in the flow of giving. Give to others as long as you do not give more of yourself. There are many flawed concepts of giving more than you have, this is very faulty. Give only what you can, never ever deplete yourself. Give what makes you feel happy to give. Give with love on a regular basis but also be aware of conserving your own and the law of attraction will bless you by bringing to you much more than you give. As you give you will get and you will manifest much more than you could ever have imagined and much faster too.

Law of Attraction

The Law Of Attraction And


The Law of Attraction is an extremely powerful force which effects our lives, whether or not we are aware of how it is working.


ave you ever had the experience of a stranger coming out of the blue and having a piece of information that you needed? Have


January 2014

you ever been steered away from making a mistake by a friend or stranger in the right place at the right time? Can you recall what this felt like? Have you ever sensed your role in another per-

son’s manifestation of an experience? You perhaps gave them something, or did something that felt right for you and for them was an uncanny coincidence. Have you ever found yourself

in the right place to provide something important for another person? Perhaps you felt compelled to talk to a stranger and you had the piece of information they were looking for?

Law of Attraction I call this interplay between individuals ‘Dancing.’ We dance with others during every day of our lives. When we are open and willing, we participate and assist in the manifestation of their experience and others do the same for us. Some of these experiences are positive, and we feel like we are in the very flow of life. Other experiences are more challenging, or even negative, and can leave us questioning how we came to attract such a negative or painful experience into our lives.

Law of Attraction and Relationships:


s a therapist, coach and individual, I have come to understand the Law of Attraction as an extremely powerful force which effects our lives, whether or not we are aware of how it is working at any one time. Simply put, what we give our focus, emotion, and attention, we attract into our lives. Moving towards deliberate attraction requires an awareness of our intention, attention and emotional state. In a sense, we move from

Matching (Picking our Partners) Everyone that you attract into our lives and engage with, are a match to something that you are vibrating at either a conscious or subconscious level.

subconsciously creating events in our lives to consciously and deliberately affecting our experience. When talking about the law of attraction in relationships, several questions come up. These include: Can we attract a specific person into our lives? Am I responsible did I attract - this abuse from my colleague, partner, friend, or family member? How can I attract the relationship I want? One of the issues these questions have in common is a search for where our responsibility ends and another person’s begins.

If we want to know what you are vibrating, look at who you are attracting. It is a perfect match! There are different kinds of matches to our vibrations. The most obvious is when we get a similar match.

Ideally, we want to feel empowered, optimistic and joyful and attract other empowered and optimistic people to us in all aspects of our life. When this happens, there is a sharing and connection that feels wonderful. It is a perfect match! When feeling down, (low vibration), you may attract a friend who calls to complain about all the things they are down about. In this case, our low vibration is attracting someone of similar vibration. We will often engage with the person and stay at that low vibration or

Did you find your perfect match?


January 2014

Law of Attraction perhaps collectively go lower. How does this feel?

IN the next, they mat be the rescuer or the abuser.

Other Matches

For example, many of the youth I have worked with in custody fall into this trap. They are often violent to ‘rescue’ a friend or to avenge a wrong. When caught, they feel victimized by police. When sentenced to custody, they feel like a victim of the justice system. They talk about getting even (offender role), blaming others for their situation (victim role) and wanting to stay with their boy or girl friend to keep them from getting into trouble (rescuer role). They continue to attract the same three matches into their lives and custody becomes a revolving door.

Have you ever had a friend or client stuck in a ‘victim vibration’ who seemed to attract abusive partners in their romantic or business relationships? Their vibration as a victim can be a match to a potential abuser. A second match to the ‘victim vibration’ is the rescuer. Rescuers, victims and abusers create what we know as the ‘victim’ or ‘drama’ triangle. These three roles vibrate matches to each other and individuals often get stuck moving from point to point in the triangle. In one relationship they may be the victim.

DRAMA TRIANGLE Vulnerability Most children and many adults live their lives unconscious of the law of attraction and the many other forces at work in creating their experience. Such people are unaware of the effect of their attention, focus and emotions. Their energy may be scattered rather than focussed and their emotions may


January 2014

be mixed and reactive. Such people are ‘vulnerable’ and can become unconscious participants in the more focussed and deliberate manifestation of others. We know that most offenders pick their victims. This is a fact. They unconsciously or consciously match vulnerable children, adults, (banks etc.) at an intuitive level. Younger children, the elderly, or adults with disabilities

There are other less obvious variations of this triangle. Chronically sick individuals, very desperate or

are often chosen for this reason. Children, and some adults are then vulnerable to become part of a more deliberate plan and action by someone with greater intention, emotion and focus. In addition, there are individuals who use these same laws of attraction to manifest power for themselves, or harm to others. They believe they are right, entitled, or are unconsciously

needy people, often vibrate matches for people who try to help them or use them in some way.

driven to such experiences. In some cases their focus is collective and extremely powerful. Terrorists and other fear-based organizations are examples of this dynamic.

Most children and many adults live their lives unconscious of the law of attraction ...

Law of Attraction Free Choice I once had a very amazing conversation with a Native teacher about the three concepts of destiny, potential, and free choice. To the best of my recollection, this is how he defined these concepts. Destiny: Is an opportunity to fulfill a life’s purpose. It is a predetermined circumstance that will manifest at some point in life. Some Native groups believe that we are born with predestined challenges that were agreed upon by our ancestors before our birth. Other Native groups believe that there are ‘deals’ made with other souls before birth to be part of their enlightenment challenge here on earth. Potential: When we are challenged, the experience has the potential to be a powerful healing or destructive force. If we rise to the challenge and act out of integrity and grace, we heal both present and past issues related to the event. If we fail the challenge, we hurt ourselves and others.

Free Choice: We all have free choice. This is why we cannot attract a person to us who does not want to engage with us. We choose whom we engage with and we choose our actions. We attract matches into our lives. It is our choice to engage with them or not. We are responsible for our actions. They are responsible for what they choose to do.

As we become more aware, we can also consider matches and experiences as powerful information and feedback as to what we are vibrating. We can also choose to engage or not engage, stay or leave. We can also choose to use this information to move ourselves to a different level of vibration.

We attract matches into our lives. It is our choice to engage with them or not. 12

January 2014

Famous People Quotes Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde

Believe you can and you’re halfway there. Theodore Roosevelt


January 2014

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. Dalai Lama

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. Plato

Bad Habits


Bad Habits Would it not be nice if you could avoid bad habits instead of having to quit them after starting? No one will avoid all bad habits. There are just too many to stay away from them all. Yet, you can reduce the number of bad habits you have to conquer.


January 2014


here are certain bad habits that you can avoid altogether. Your body has no need for nicotine or tar from cigarettes. So, if you do not take that first cigarette, you will never have to face the daunting task of giving them up. It is well worth any social discomfort you might feel to dodge that bullet.

Bad Habits Bad habits of personal hygiene can be avoided by developing a positive routine. If you fear going out in public smelling bad, you can make it a habit to shower every morning. Shower more than once a day if the situation calls for it. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. If you are just starting out on your own, you could even make a list. After all, you are probably past those teen years when everyone else made sure you were decent.

Other bad habits are a matter of degree. Your body needs food. Many people realize that they will gain a lot of weight if they do not take action. However, you cannot just stop eating altogether. You could for awhile, but that would not be healthy either. Instead you must find a way to limit yourself. To avoid the bad habits involved in letting yourself become overweight, you need to think differently. You can do this by thinking of food as a special treat that you only get at certain times. You can eat like a thin person-picking out the best part and leaving the rest. There are a host of different thinking patterns you can take on to avoid getting fat. Not exercising is another of the bad habits that will make you gain weight. You may know that you need to get up and move around. You may have every intention to do so.


January 2014

The energy does not seem to be there when you need it. To avoid this bad habit, start slowly. What you may not realize is that the energy will increase as your exercise increases.

Bad Habits Relationships are difficult enough without developing bad habits. If you are getting married, make a point of discussing all the possible trouble areas first. You can do this with a pre-marriage counselor or on your own. Either way, it is good to learn how you each can contribute to keeping away the bad habits of jealousy or neglect.

Many bad habits can be avoided if you will only consider the needs of yourself and of others equally. Putting yourself first at all times makes you selfish and hard to abide. Putting others first all the time just makes you a doormat.


January 2014

For every bad habit, there is a way to avoid it. The trouble is that no one can be vigilant enough to control that many behaviors. What is more, many bad habits start before people are old enough to think much about it. If you want to, though, you can pass up some of them.

Feng Shui

Feng Shui

Advantages of Applying

in Your Life Many people are fascinated with Feng Shui and with many good reasons. While others generally believe that it is just some oriental superstitious set of paradigms on interior design (but that is just part of the extensive definition for Feng Shui), the Feng Shui that we know now is actually comprised of various schools of learning and incorporates the different cultures under which it is housed. 17

January 2014

Feng Shui


he good thing about the different options pertaining to Feng Shui is that even the layman can actually be able to understand and apply it immediately in their homes without having to spend too much. And apart from that, there are other advantages that only Feng Shui can bring if you can actually open up your mind to try it.

Advantage Number 1: It brings balance to one’s life Have you ever found yourself completely overburdened with clutter and unnecessarily stressed out of your wits? Chances are, you are suffering from a visual imbalance of some sort in your surroundings. Now, the best way to introduce some sense of balance is by incorporating elements that provide you with a sense of control in the outer balance of things. If you are able to

get some semblance of balance even in things as menial as your furniture, you are bound to find balance in other aspects equally manageable. Advantage Number 2: It helps you become more mindful of the little things Mindfulness in the little things can actually be a good thing. Some of us tend to be heavily focused on the big things of life that even the minor details like home arrangement and office ergonomics no longer come to play. When these “minor” aspects of life continue to take a backseat, they tend to accumulate and produce a very stressful environment which can add up to other problems and worries of life.

Advantage Number 3: It opens up possibilities of meeting new people Meeting new people is another bonus of being a Feng Shui enthusiast. When you are applying Feng Shui, chances are, you will be able to find another person within your social network who likes the same stuff and

can even help you expand your knowledge on Feng Shui, no matter how limited it is to begin with. Advantage Number 4: It gives a fresh perspective on things At any given time, a fresh perspective is always

The main objective of Feng Shui is to invite all the good things to one’s life. 18

January 2014

Feng Shui welcome. This positive perspective can invite changes for the better. A new way of looking at home arrangement, for example, may actually serve to benefit you in the long run. The fresh perspective brought about by Feng Shui can actually bring about an enrichment of one’s mind.

expected if Feng Shui is practiced well. Advantage Number 6: It has aesthetic appeal On top of all the enumerated benefits of Feng

Shui, the best would probably be its beauty. The physical appeal of a well-decorated home, interspersed with good Feng Shui techniques, is actually something that

you can call a personal heritage that can transcend generations and promote beauty in all aspects, including design of the home and the office.

Advantage Number 5: It invites prosperity and success The main objective of Feng Shui is to invite all the good things to one’s life. Prosperity and success can be more easily within reach and a positive disposition may be

Creative and Affordable Ideas to Bring your Living Room to Life


our living room is the room in your house where most of the living takes place. It’s where your family gathers to watch television, read, and generally unwind and relax after a busy day. It’s also the room where company gathers during parties and holidays. But you’re struggling to come up with decorating ideas and strategies for it, and you worry that your budget isn’t big enough to do the job justice. But with a little planning, creativity, and ingenuity, your living room can be a relaxing


January 2014

environment where you can unwind or entertain with comfort and ease. Consider pulling pieces you have in other rooms into your living room to use. A short, double-sided dresser can easily become a buffet when a table runner and an arrangement of candles or a colorful flower centerpiece is placed on top. Use your furniture arrangement to define functional areas. Strategically placed floor rugs, lamps and furniture can create zones in your home. You can

arrange your seating to take advantage of a focal point, such as a television, picture window or a fireplace. You can also find affordable component pieces that combine functional storage with fashionable decorating lines. Tables with drawers and shelves add valuable, and a simple desk doubles for homework, household management, bill paying and filing. When accessorizing your room, remember that less is more. Choose neutral colors and accent with colorful

textured throws, rugs, and other decorative and artistic elements. Keep the balance of your room in perspective. You don’t want to overwhelm a small room with large, bold pieces, nor do you want to place smaller, neutral pieces in a large room where they’ll get lost. If you’re working with used furniture, try distracting from worn upholstery or a faded finish by using colorful toss pillows or table runners. Bright curtains can distract from a faded carpet and breathe new life into an old room.

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Life Coach

Life Coach Do You Need One? 21

January 2014

There is a certain point in time when a person becomes dissatisfied with his or her life. He or she might be thinking that there is something more for him or her out there. It could be about the job, about love, about financial disposition or about life in general. If you feel this way then you may be in need of a life coach.

Life Coach Life Coach and Life Coaching A life coach is the same as a baseball coach, a basketball coach or a football coach. The coaches teach and train the players to change faulty habits, develop and improve so that they may become better players. A life coach is similar to them. He or she coaches people to change faulty habits, develop and improve the different aspects of their lives for them to determine and achieve their goals in life. Life coaching is the process of developing and

improving a person’s life. It is a partnership between a client and a coach for a certain period of time. The partners will have sessions that will focus on the client’s needs and other issues.

be making the decisions. The client will be actively involved especially in the decision making process.

Through these sessions, the life coach will help the client develop different strategies and solutions to improve. This is an interaction between two persons and it is not only the life coach who will

Why Do You Need Life Coaching The point in time when you want change (as have been mentioned in the beginning) can quickly come and go. But this will be recurring from time to time which can become a bother. So what are you going to do about it? Is it okay to let this happen for the rest


January 2014

of your life? Is it okay not to do anything about it? Is it okay to feel dissatisfied? With a life coach, you will be given a helping hand that will guide you to take that big leap and change for the better. He or she will be there to aid in determining the right path for you to take to improve and feel satisfied with your life.

Life Coach Benefits of Having A Life Coach A life coach will help you ponder on what you want, why you want it, and how you can achieve it. He or she will aid you in taking the steps from where you are now to where you want to be. A life coach will give encouragement and provides support, confidence as well as motivation for you to achieve your goals.

Will You Really Benefit From It Anyone can benefit from life coaching. It does not matter where you are or who you are, for as long as you want changes and


January 2014

improvements in your life, you will benefit from having a life coach. Life coaches have been effective when it comes to the different aspects of life. This includes financial success, career, health, personal skills & confidence, happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. It all depends on you on what aspect of your life you need help with.

Conclusion So do you really need a life coach? The only one who can answer this now is yourself. The basics of life coaching and life coaches have laid down before you and it is up for you to decide whether you need a life coach or not.

Are you a

life coach? You have a certain knowledge or skills that would like to share with our readers? You can offer advice and


Contact us for possible cooperation.

Contact us

Staying Young

Look Younger

How To

The first thing you should do to look younger is to acknowledge that there are good things in store for you, and you deserve to have those. So it’s all about setting your mind to get to your end. You must value the thought that almost all good things in life are brought into fruition with the right attitude and positive thinking.


January 2014

Staying Young So now, are you set to defy aging and look young? If you are, then these age-defying tips will surely help you look youthful easily.

Tip 1 No matter what you do, whether you have a demanding schedule or just being lazy in your cozy home, make sure you are getting enough sleep- and a good one at that. Your eyes will first tell if you have had enough sleep. A pair of eye-bug-free and sparkling eyes definitely makes you look


January 2014

Tip 2 Keep you hair short. A long hair puts in more years to your appearance, actually making you look like a tired and worn-down witch. Trying a shorter do can improve your youthfulness. Tell your hairdresser to give you side swept bangs to expose your beautiful face. Adding layers can also make our hair look lively and shinier. A little highlight may also do. Putting on a darker hair (dark brown or black) does not only make you younger, but also coats up those grey hair.

younger. But how many is the suggested sleeping duration?

five hours is better than sleeping three hours more than that.

Perhaps you were brought up thinking that you should sleep at least 8 hours a day. Well, you should not. A new study says that those who sleep 6-7 hours live longer and healthier. Too much slumber is not good for you. In fact, sleeping for

To have a good sleep, take some natural soporifics. These are substances that can induce sleeping. Milk is a very good example. Sex and a little aerobic may also help you sleep well.

Staying Young little stress, unpolluted air, good water, and unLive in a clean environspoiled nature. Planting ment. People who live more trees in your area older like the centenarians and planting more plants have some surroundin your garden can help ing things in common: you provide cleaner air. Tip 3

More plants in the area mean more oxygen to breathe. Remember that what we breathe is the exact thing they exhale, and vice versa.

Tip 4 Do not put a lot of makeup. Yes, makeup can make you look pretty. But its amount, composition, and its style can make or break you. Keeping makeup light won’t make you look like a villain. Use more pastel colors and those with lighter tones instead of the dark antagonistic-like colors. Also try lipsticks with brown shade. These would make you look more natural and a lot of ears younger.


January 2014

Staying Young Tip 5 Take care of your teeth. Ever notice there are a lot of old people who only have false teeth? This is because as we age, our body absorbs and stores less calcium (which also explains why old women are prone to osteoporosis). So avoid losing your teeth permanently. Brushing every after meal is the most basic yet the most helpful habit for a good-looking set of teeth. Use teeth whitening products that can make you teeth white and shiny. Coffee and tea can stain your teeth instantly so a brush after is really helpful. Going to the dentist at least twice a year is very important. And never forget to drink at least two glasses of milk a day, like what we teach to the real young ones.


January 2014

Stress Management

Activities That Will Help

Relieve Stress Some people think that it’s almost impossible to find an outlet while under stress. Most stressed individuals think that doing fun activities will not reduce the effect of problems that they tackle under career, social or personal pressure – which is a very poor way to get cope or rid them of it.


January 2014

Stress Management Therapist around the world agree that certain activities like games, sports and art can great affect a stressed persons physical and behavioral problems. Some of them are even employed in stress management clinics and is part of the routine treatment in helping individuals cope with their stress issue.

Mind games Since stress will first affect the mental functions of an individual, it is very important to teach the person focus his mind on positive thoughts rather than dwelling on negative ones. Mind games offer an alternative which will allow a stress person to divert this thought patterns to something more productive. These clinics encourage their patients to tackle cross-

word puzzles and sudoku to help them cope with stress.

Sports Engaging in sports is a great way to relieve stress. The physical exercise that your body needs to balance biological and muscular functions can rejuvenate

Logical functions are put to the test by introducing the Rubik’s Cube, Scrabble, and Bridge, into their curriculum. If you have no plans of visiting these centers to deal with stress, you can easily incorporate these games into your daily routine to give your mind some diversion from problems.

There are two kinds of sports a person can engage on his or her own free time. They can opt for team sports like basketball, soccer or volleyball which provides socializing functions


January 2014

those muscles that are tight due to the effects of stress. Playing sports can also provide an outlet for emotional problems like anxiety, depression, irritation, anger, and so on.

and exercise. Individual sports like badminton, golf and tennis can also be a great help in focusing your mind to win the game rather than feeling useless under all the extra problems.

Stress Management Workout A visit to the gym may prove to be beneficial to your emotional, mental and physical health when under the influence of stress. The routine exercise your gym instructor will give you can help your mind focus on the tasks at hand. The strenuous activities can develop your muscles which improves your body’s coping mechanism to stress, and allows the body to release chemicals and hormones that is beneficial to your physiological well-being. Cardiovascular workout can improve your heart and strengthen it to avoid stress related prob-


January 2014

lems like strokes, highblood pressure, chest pains and rapid heart beat. Due to the steady circulation in your system will benefit your muscles because of the fresh oxygen supply provided by these hearty fluids.

A healthy dose of mental activities, physical exercise coupled with a balance diet can help a person avoid the signs and symptom of stress and will be on the road to recovery to a stress free life.

Note however that working out at the gym needs proper diet as well since your physical attributes will be worked to the limit to help fight off stress. Fresh fruits and vegetables are necessary improves digestion and supplies the body with the required nutrients it needs. Red meat devoid of fat can give your muscles proteins that will strengthen muscle tissues for added flexibility.

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12 Dating

Dating Traps and Solutions

In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor. 32

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owever, what I discovered over the years is that people generally make appointments with me when it’s almost too late; they’re on the verge of divorce or it might be a

cessful Life Partnership have always been fascinating mysteries to me. One thing’s for certain; times have changed and what used to work doesn’t work anymore. The biggest change in the past 30 years impacting relationships

The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it’s the primary reason for failed relationships today last resort, after there’s been a lot of irreversible damage done. How relationships work and how to have a suc-

1. Marketing Trap Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner and “selling” yourself with attractive packaging and presentation. High risk of disappointment and relationship failure as people discover that the excitement and promise of the “sizzle” conflicts with the reality of the “steak”. Solution: Authenticity. You will attract compatible people when you show them who you really are. At the risk of mixing metaphors, “Birds of a feather flock together”, so don’t try to look like a prize-winning chicken when you are your own breed of duck!


January 2014

that I can see is that we have developed a need to be “happy”. This is a dramatic shift from our parents and grandparents who were quite

satisfied surviving and achieving some measure of comfort and security. The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it’s the primary reason for failed relationships today, and the high divorce rate, single parent families, mental and physical health problems, juvenile delinquency, welfare, and so on. While we seek to be happy in relationships, we don’t seem to know how. As a result I have seen many people make relationship choices and fall

into traps that prevented them from getting what they want in their life, resulting in unhappiness and relationship failure. A trap is basically an unsolvable problem that results in unhappiness in a relationship. Getting out of the trap often means leaving the relationship. When you’re single you can do a lot more than you realize to avoid these traps and prepare for a successful and lasting relationship, as you’ll see in this article.

2. Scarcity Trap Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners, so you have to take what you can get or be alone. Results in relationship failure when you settle for less and compromise your Requirements. A selffulfilling prophecy when you get less because you expect less.

Solution: Define your first choice of what you really want and persevere. Trust that if you apply yourself you can get what you really want in your life. You must be able to say “No” to what you DON’T want, to be available to say “Yes” to what you DO want. You have the power to choose who, what , where, when, and how, and can get what you really want if you make effective choices aligned with your Vision and Requirements.

Dating 3. Compatibility Trap Assuming that if you have fun together and get along well, you are compatible and a committed relationship will work. Results in relationship failure when discovering the vast difference between a fun-focused, recreational “ dating” relationship, and a serious long-term committed relationship. Being so different, the process and criteria for choosing a recreational

relationship needs to be very different from choosing a Life Partner. Solution: When you are ready for a Life Partnership, define your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Do not try to convert a recreational relationshipinto a committed one, unless 100% of your Requirements are met.

4. Fairytale Trap Passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear and live happily

Solution: Take personal responsibility for your relationship choices and outcomes. Have effective scouting, sorting, and screening strategies. Initiate contact and be the “Chooser”, don’t simply react to people that choose you.

5. Date-ToMate Trap Becoming an “instant couple” as if giving each person you date an extended test drive. Believing that if you develop an exclusive relationship with someone you are dating, a successful committed relationship will eventually happen. Other terms for this are “Serial Monogamy” and the “Mini-Marriage.. This approach is a costly use of time and emotional energy. The inertia in this trap is pressure to make the relationship work, attempt to solve


January 2014

ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just “happen”. Results in disappointment when the frogs that happen to jump into your life don’t become princes.

unsolvable problems, and fit the round peg in the square hole because breaking up and being single again is an undesired outcome. Solution: Date a variety of people and have fun without being exclusive. When you are ready for a committed relationship define your Requirements and use them as tools to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Make a careful relationship choice and consciously use a “pre-commitment” period to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

Dating 6. Attraction Trap Making relationship choices based on feelings of attraction. Interpreting a strong attraction to someone as a sign that the relationship is a good choice and “meant to be”. This approach results in relationship failure when unsolvable prob-

lems surface because you ignored the red flags while infatuated. Unconscious choices usually result in repeating unproductive past patterns. Solution: Balance your attractions by defining your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of your happiness or misery.(H. Jackson Brown, Jr. from “Life’s Little Instruction Book”).

8. Rescue Trap

lems multiply instead of disappear.

Hoping a relationship will solve your emotional and financial difficulties and bring you happiness and fulfillment, something like winning the lottery. You avoid taking responsibility for your life challenges, expecting to be rescued from them. Results in desperation, neediness, and relationship failure when prob-

Solution: Define your Vision for your life and relationship and “Live your Vision” as a successful single person. Resolve emotional, financial, and other problems prior to seeking a lasting committed relationship. Seek to be in a position of “choice” and “want” rather than “need”.

9. Co-Dependent Trap Expecting someone to love you and give you what you want by giving them what they want. Attempting to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, giving and helping. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person that needs you, but you later discover is unable to give you what you want.

Solution: Define your Vision and Requirements and choose a closely aligned partner. Learn to be assertive, identify and ask for what you want and need, identify and assert boundaries, and develop the ability to say “No”. Be the “Chooser” and cautious of people that choose you!

7. Love Trap Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, good sex, and/or attachment as Love. “If it feels good, it must be Love.” “Love is all you need.” “Love conquers all.” Results in relationship failure when you discover that love is not enough to meet


January 2014

your requirements and needs. Solution: Make conscious relationship choices by defining your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners.

Dating 10. Entitlement Trap Believing you deserve to be happy and get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part. Results in relationship failure as you rely on your partner to bring happiness and fulfillment and inevitably

experience disappointment. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.” Solution: Take personal responsibility for your life and relationship. Define your Vision and Life Purpose and live them when single.

12. Lone Ranger Trap Believing that you don’t need anyone’s help in finding your Life Partner. You evaluate people you meet for their relationship potential and do not take the opportunity to cultivate new friends. Results in isolation, percep-

tion of scarcity of potential partners, and risk of settling for less than what you really want because you don’t want to be alone. Solution: Develop a support network/community of friends of both genders and be supportable by enrolling them to scout for you.

11. Virtual Reality Trap Believing that “what you see is what you get.” Making hasty long-term relationship decisions based on short-term impressions and inferences instead of actual experience and knowledge. Results in seeing what you want to see and relationship failure when later reality doesn’t match. Solution: Assume “you don’t know what you don’t know” and stay in a “pre-commitment” stage until you have solid experience and knowledge that this is the right relationship for you.


January 2014



Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier Changing your mood can be surprisingly quick and easy when you have the right tools, strategies, and methods. 37

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ll of us have days when we’re out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You’ve had days like that, haven’t you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

1. Go for a walk. Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

2. Listen to quality music. Music can shift a listener’s state within moments. It’s effect can

be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven’t listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you’ve never listened to before.

and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new. Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days.


January 2014

Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

Happiness 6. Doodling for the fun of it.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Who-

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

ever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

5. Simple breathing meditation. Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air


January 2014

into and out of your nostrils. That’s all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two

things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There’s nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

Improve Your Marriage

Getting Back to the Basics of

Love and Romance

Almost every love story has the potential to begin as if it were a fairy tale. “Once upon a time, two people fell passionately in love and their love was unlike any others before theirs.� 40

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Improve Your Marriage


elationship beginnings are wonderful and they can experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding, honeymoon and the exciting first year of marriage. Once a couple begins to grow and their lives change with jobs, children, social activities and other commitments, the love and romance becomes more difficult to attend to. Sometimes love and romance seem to be lost altogether. This destiny is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the passion or simply bring it to a new level by becoming a hopeless romantic. When you want to ignite the passion in your relationship but you aren’t sure what you need to do, the best place to begin is at

Candies are a great gift, even for a man! the beginning. Think about the things that you used to do for your partner at the beginning of your relationship. If you don’t remember or never tried to be a true romantic, don’t worry. It’s not difficult and once you begin you will find that you will get your own new ideas after a while.

Most new relationships or new beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show love and affection. Be sure to remember special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries and even the date you met if possible. Be sure to send a meaningful gift or just a dozen roses and

Do not forget special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day or Anniversaries


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a box of chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your partner. Women can do exactly the same thing for men here. Not many men can resist candy! You may not consider yourself to be a writer, but writing your partner a long love letter with your thoughts about how you feel for the other person is one of the most touching ways to spark romance. If you aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider making lists about what you love the most about your partner. Lists can be about the things they do that makes you laugh, what they do for you that you appreciate, how they make you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they are and other very personal but attentive details.

Improve Your Marriage Call your partner and talk softly and loving. If he or she isn’t able to answer the phone, leave loving messages on their voice mail or answering machine. Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t return the same conversation on the other end. Sometimes couples feel more comfortable trying to bring romance into their relationship by bestowing gifts on their partner. While classics like flowers, candy and perfume or cologne are almost always successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something different. Make plans to go see every romantic movie that comes to the theater during the year. Bring home a bottle of champagne

Call your partner and talk softly and loving.

to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment he or she has had. Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting cards to his or her workplace or hide them under the bed pillows at home.

These suggestions are simply ideas to get you started in your effort to bring romance and love to a new level in your marriage. You may have your own ideas and those are most likely better than

anything offered here. Once you open the door to romance in your marriage and begin to build a foundation for future romance, you are ready to move to even more creative levels of romance.

A romantic dinner is always a great idea.


January 2014

Tips To A Better Sex Life

4 Easy Ways to

Spice Up

Things in the Bedroom Are you in a relationship that seems as if it is stalled in the bedroom? If so, your first thought may be to terminate the relationship. But, what if your relationship is long-term? What if you are married? What if you really do love your partner? What steps should you take then?


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Tips To A Better Sex Life


hen it comes to being unhappy in the bedroom, it is important to know that ending a marriage or a relationship should only be used as a last approach. Instead, you will want to take steps to spice things up. Doing so may improve more than just your intimacy, but it may do wonders for your relationship in general. As nice as it is to hear that you can and should spice things up and in the bedroom, you may be unsure as to how you should proceed. If that is the case, please continue reading on. Below, four easy ways that you can spice things up in the bedroom, are covered.

1 – Engage in Foreplay


hen you do have sex, what happens? Do you and your partner get right down to business? If you do, that may be a huge problem. Unfortunately, many couples do not realize that intimacy is more than just about having sex. It is also about having a happy and healthy relationship. If you rely on sex to make your relationship succeed, there is a very good chance that it will actually fail. If you and your partner don’t already engage in foreplay, start doing so. Also, remember that foreplay doesn’t have to start in the

bedroom. Call your lover, send a text message, or a handwritten note expressing your desires

to get intimate with them later on.

Know that being spontaneous is about more than not talking

about sex first. Ways that you can be spontaneous with your partner is to

have sex at a different time, date, or place.

2 – Be Spontaneous


hen you want to have sex, what do you do? If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you, you may be doing more harm than good. Asking first can make being intimate seem more like a chore than something that should bring you pleasure. The next time that you want to move to the bedroom, don’t ask first. Just lead your partner there. In fact, who needs a bedroom?


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Tips To A Better Sex Life 3 – Talk About Your Fantasies


ne of the biggest reasons why couples have problems with sex is because one person isn’t having their desires fulfilled. If that is the case with you? Does your partner know what you like or what you want to get out of being intimate? If not, it is time for you to let them know.

Be sure to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires. What would you like to try in the bedroom? In addition to expressing your wants, needs, and darkest fantasies, be sure to let your partner do the same. Remember that both of you should walk away from an intimate encounter pleased.

4 – Experiment in the Bedroom


nother one of the easy ways that you can spice up things in the bedroom is by experimenting. When doing so, you may be pleased with all of your options. For starters, you can try a new sex position. This may not only lead to extra pleasure, but fun and excitement. Sex toys, romantic or

So there you have it! You know have a few ideas on how you can go about spicing up things in


January 2014

pornographic videos, and role playing are other good ideas for experimenting in the bedroom. Remember that experimenting in the bedroom is a good way to spice up your intimacy, but be sure to use your best judgment. It may be a wise decision to first discuss making changes with your partner, as you will not want to make him or her feel uncomfortable.

the bedroom. So what are you waiting for? Get started today.

Career Tips


Career Change Myths

If you dream about having a different career, but don’t act on that dream, you may be operating under the assumption of a career myth. In this article, I expose 10 myths, sayings you’ve heard before that simply are not true. Let’s explore them.


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Career Tips Career Myth #1: You

can’t make a living doing something you really, truly love This is the grand-daddy of career myths, the belief that you can’t have a “practical” career doing something that you were passionate about. It has to be one or the other.

Career Myth #3:

Changing careers is risky What’s riskier than leaving what you know to pursue the unknown? Changing careers means leaving behind a piece of your identity - your “I’m a lawyer” response to the “what-do-you-do?” question. It might mean admitting to yourself that you made a mistake with an initial career choice. Or it might mean acknowledging that you’re un-


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This myth is rooted in fear. Fear that we have to sacrifice our happiness to make a living. Don’t buy the myth that you can’t earn a living by doing what you love. When I first started coaching, I heard from plenty of people that it would be very difficult to make a living doing this

sure of what’s next. And smart people always know what’s next, right? Nope. Successful career changers often don’t have a plan. In Working

work. I just decided to find coaches who were successful, and to learn from them (simple, eh?). If you find yourself buying into this myth, consider this question - As you look back on your life, what will you regret more? Following your passion or following your fears?

Identity: How Successful Career Changers Turn Fantasy into Reality by Herminia Ibarra, she provided evidence that waiting until you have a plan is actually riskier than just doing and experimenting. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is riskier than not changing careers if you’re longing to do so. Here’s why: The longing won’t go away. It will always be there, under the surface, waiting for you to do something about it.

Career Myth #2: It’s a

tough job market/ economy

Even when the newspapers and other news sources say that unemployment numbers remain steady, that job growth is at a standstill, or that we’re experiencing slow economic recovery, not to mention downsizing and outsourcing, don’t believe it. It’s a myth because it doesn’t reflect the whole story, the fact that that it’s a different job market today. It’s a changing economy. How we transition from job-to-job is different. Hiring practices have shifted. So the job market has changed, but that doesn’t necessarily make it tougher. What makes it tougher is that we’ve been slower to change. We’ve held on to old practices and old behaviors. That’s not to say that old ways still don’t work, but they’re just not as effective. So I challenge you to just believe that it’s a perfect job market for you to find work. I’ve had my college students try this, just for a week, and, more times than not, several of them find job leads or make important connections during the week.

Career Tips Career Myth #4:

Always have a back-up plan Sometimes having a back-up plan is the smart and prudent course of action. Backup plans are so grownup and responsible. But what happens when you’re standing with one foot in and one foot out? In my experience, we usually close the door and retreat. We are reluctant to

Career Myth #5:

There’s a perfect job out there for everyone How long have you been searching for yours? You just know, deep inside, that there’s an ideal job that’s perfect for you out there. It matches your personality, skills, and interests to a tee. And it pays well. If only you could figure it out. If only you knew what it was.

commit to ourselves, and we end up denying ourselves the satisfaction of playing full-out, getting dirty and sweaty. We end up with feelings of regret and the nagging “What if?” question. Back-up plans diffuse our energy. Diffused energy equals diffused results. Give all that you’ve got to your dream/passion/risk and you’ve got a better chance of being successful.

Is there a perfect job out there for you? No. And here’s the good news - there are more jobs than you can imagine that would be “perfect” for you. Chances are you’ve even come very, very close to a few of those perfect jobs already. So what happened? And how do you recognize one of these so-called “perfect jobs”? Ever see the perfect gift for someone, but it was months till his or her birthday? Then when you go to find the item

later, you can’t. Another lost opportunity and you, once again, berate yourself for not buying it when you first saw it. So maybe you’ve run into a perfect job in the past, but because of the timing, you passed by the opportunity. Or maybe you were so focused on something else, that you missed an obvious clue. Instead of dwelling on the past, which you can’t change, vow to keep your eyes open and to look beyond the obvious.

Career Myth #6: Asking

“What’s the best thing for me to do?” is the right question This is one of the most common questions asked when considering a career change or a career move. It seems like a logical analysis - weigh the pros and cons and evaluate the balance. Do not ask yourself this question!! It rarely leads you to the answers you’re seeking. It will lead you to feeling overwhelmed with options (sound familiar?), or feeling like you have to choose what’s practical over what seems to be impractical. The question that will lead you to answers is simple (but not easy!!) It is “What do I really want to do?” This is a very different question than “what’s best?”


January 2014

Career Tips Career Myth #7: If you don’t like your job,

you’re probably in the wrong career Cause and effect, right? One way to tell if you’re in the right career is whether or not you like your job. If you’re dissatisfied with your job, it’s probably a sign that you need to re-examine your whole career choice. This is frequently what I hear from new clients who have decided to work with a career coach. They know something isn’t right because they don’t like their jobs. Their natural assumption is that their dissatisfaction is a symptom of a larger underlying issue - their

career choice. This is an example of false logic. Not liking your job might be telling you you’re in the wrong job. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the wrong career. It doesn’t even mean you’re in the wrong job. You could just be working for the wrong person or the wrong company. It takes a skillful approach to discern the source of discontent, and I think it’s very hard to do it on your own (shameless plug for career coaches here!)

She had a clear goal for coaching - find her misEveryone needs a sion! Instead, the most mission statement amazing thing happened. Do you know what your She decided that she mission is? Mission state- didn’t need a mission. She ments are supposed to chose to trust that she guide us, keep us on was already fulfilling her track, and help us move mission statement, even forward. But what if you though she didn’t know don’t have one? Does that what it was. After the climean you’re destined to ent shifted her focus from never fulfill your potential finding her mission to career-wise? living her life, an amazing opportunity came her A client who was a way and she pursued it. successful professional contacted Here’s a little tip: If me because your mission stateshe was at a ment is elusive, career crossstop chasing it. roads. She felt Be still and let that if only she it find you. could find her And in the mission in life, meantime, she would know keep living which career path your life and see to take. what happens. Career Myth #8:


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Career Myth #9: Expect a career epiphany

When you see a link to “Find Your Dream Job,” do you immediately click on it to see what’s there? Do you look at every “Top Ten Career” list out there to see if anything catches your interest? Do you know your MBTI type? If you do, you might be falling prey to the career epiphany myth. I’d love, love, love it if most of my clients had a

career epiphany that indicated to them, in crystal-clear terms, their next step. Instead, I see career “unfoldings” or a journey of discovery much more regularly. That is, being willing to not ignore the obvious, the pokes, the prods, and listen carefully to the whisper within. Yep, forget harp music and angels, for most of us, the career epiphany is a quiet whisper.

Career Myth #10: Ignoring your career

dissatisfaction will make it go away Oh, if only this worked in the long run!! Granted, it does work at first. When you find yourself beginning to question your career, you’ll find it’s rather easy to push the thoughts aside and pretend they aren’t there. You know what I’m talking about: the “what ifs” and the list of regrets. Over time, the random thoughts become nagging thoughts. You spend more and more time daydreaming about options. You build your list of reasons to ignore your growing career dissatisfaction: • You’re too old.

• You don’t want to take a pay cut. • You don’t want to go back to school. • You missed your opportunity 5, 10, 15 years ago. With clients in this situation, we work on identifying and challenging these fears. Sometimes the fear of change remains, but there becomes a greater commitment to living than to feeling the fear.

Challenge So now that you know that one or all of these myths have been holding you back, what are you waiting for?


10 Financial Budget Tips

To Make Sure Your

Will Succeed

You’ve analyzed your past expenses, put them into spreadsheets, loaded Quicken with all of your data and come up with a budget. Now what? The tough part! You actually have to stick to your budget and put your plans into action. This is easier said than done. In many cases you will have forgotten about your budget and your financial goals 6 months or a year down the road. How do you keep this from happening to you?


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Finance Here’s how. Make sure you follow some of these tips below so this doesn’t happen to you.


Create a budget with realistic targets – Let’s say one of your budget goals is to not eat out for lunch or dinner on a regular basis. If you are honest with yourself you may find this to be an unrealistic goal. Sometimes it’s a nice break to eat out and have a relaxing rewarding evening. In other words, don’t set the bar too high. Drastic and unrealistic goals are one of the surefire ways your budget will not succeed.

budget if you don’t plan for them.

3 2 Budget for expenses that don’t occur on a routine basis – Make sure you give consideration to expenses that occur once a year, such as holiday presents, birthdays, vacations, weddings, car maintenance costs, etc. These expenses don’t occur every month and they will bust your budget plans wide open. Make a list of these events on a calendar and put a dollar figure to them. Place them in the month they are expected to occur so you can plan in advance how you will pay for them. The regular routine expenses are not the reason your budget will fail. It is these “gotchas” that will wreck havoc on your


January 2014

Put your budget in writing – Take the time to write down your budget plans. Making a mental note of your budget goals is a recipe for failure. Don’t assume that your financial future will take care of itself by making a simple mental note to yourself. If you have your budget goals detailed in writing you can review and remind yourself weekly and monthly of your financial goals.

Adjust your budget over time with a more accurate numbers

If you have a bad month or week, don’t give up!

goals. Maybe you even stopped trying to stick to your budget! If this happens, don’t just throw your hands up in the air and admit to failure. Everyone falls off the wagon sometimes. Your budget


If you have a bad month or week, don’t give up! – Let’s say you have been reaching your budget goals for three months. In the fourth month, for whatever reason, you didn’t reach your budget

Finance If it was, try to come up with a more accurate number and then to stick to that new figure. It is this type of adjustment that is one of the keys to making sure you can stick to your budget.

6 is a journey. There will be bumps in the road, so the key is to realize that everyone makes mistakes. This relates to a story I like about a great old time golfer named Walter Hagen. Before each round of golf, he told himself that he would have 4 or 5 bad shots. During the golf round, if he hit his ball into a bunker, he would tell himself, “There is one of my bad shots that I was expecting”, hit the ball out of the bunker and move on. It didn’t phase him one bit because he had knew there would be some bad shots in his round.

Set aside the first day of each new month to review your income and expenditures and match them to your budget goals.

Use part of your budget to reward yourself

probably had to guess at some of your figures. They might not have been in touch with the realities of every day life. For example, you may have underestimated your monthly grocery or utility bills. If this happens, analyze all of the underlying money that was spend in this category to see if your initial estimate was unrealistic.

Review your budget every month – This is where you will make any adjustments that are needed. Set aside the first day of each new month to review your income and expenditures and match them to your budget goals. By actively reviewing your finances and comparing it to your budget, you can adjust your spending habits. This gives you a chance to analyze areas that exceeded your budget expectations and make the adjustments in your spending habits or your budget. The goal here is to not forget about your


Adjust your budget over time – This one is a biggie! It can take months or even years to fine tune a personal budget. When you initially made your budget plans, you


January 2014

Finance budget. One tip that has worked for me is to put a printout of my basic budget goals on the refrigerator. That way every day, several times a day, I would notice my budget goals sheet. I may not read it every time, but I notice it and it reminds me that I need to stick to my budget. That is why tip number 3 is so important.


Set specific short-term goals – Let’s say one of your budget goals is to have all of your credit card bills paid off in two years. If your credit card balances total $20,000 that would be $10,000 a year. Divide that number further into quarterly reductions in your credit card bills, in this case $2,500 every 3 months. Now, this is a more tangible budget goal to shoot for isn’t it? I find that when I divide intermediate and long term goals into short-term tangible stepping stones, I am able to feel a greater sense of accomplishment and am more likely to succeed. This brings us to number eight…


Reward yourself – That’s right! Treat yourself when you reach your some of your short-term goals. Since your financial


January 2014

Move the money immediately into a savings or mutual fund account.

budget is really a journey, take some time to smell the roses on your way. Sticking to your budget should not be a restrictive, unpleasant experience. Not only should you take the time to enjoy your financial accomplishments along the way, but use part of your budget for fun things that you enjoy. Just make sure your rewards don’t end up breaking your budget!


Pay yourself first – I’m sure that one of your budget goals is to save and invest a portion of your income. One of the keys to make sure you succeed at this is to do what the IRS does with your paycheck, take it out of your discretionary income immediately. This way, the money is saved away right off the bat. Move the money im-

mediately into a savings or mutual fund account. Many mutual fund companies can setup automatic deductions from your paycheck. Despite your best intentions to save, the hectic, daily demands of life can reduce the amount you are able to save.


Attitude is everything – When most people think of a budget, they picture restrictions and pain. Almost like a diet. You know what happens with most diets? They don’t seem work for long! First, if your budget is too strict, too restrictive on your spending, it won’t work either. However, you will need to limit your spending in some areas and this will take some adjustment in your attitude. I found that

when I am feeling limited and sorry for myself when I can’t purchase something that I want, I remember my financial goals I set with my budget. I think about the satisfaction I feel when I reach those goals. Over time, you find that you don’t want to disappoint yourself by breaking your spending goals on a spur of the moment purchase. Now, I actually get more pleasure knowing that I am reaching my budget goals when the thought of an impulse purchase crosses my mind. If you follow these tips, your budget plans are more likely to be a great success. By taking some simple steps you will find that living within a budget is not as tough as you imagined. It can actually be fun and rewarding!


Job Searching:

Why You Should Use Your Local Newspapers In a society where we have become dependent on the internet, many job seekers automatically turn to career search websites or job posting websites. While these online resources are a great way to go about finding an open job in your area, you need to remember that they are not your only option.


January 2014



n fact, if you are looking for a new job, you will want to examine your local newspapers, namely the employment sections of them.

As nice as it is to hear that you should examine the employment section of your local newspaper, you may be curious as to why it is so important to do so. What you need to know is that, although, many businesses have started using the internet to their advantage, not all have. This means that there may be a great employment opportunity in your area, but the company behind that opportunity may choose

it is best to examine all of your options, but be sure to examine your local newspaper’s employment section

to not use the internet or may not even know how to use the internet to list that job online. You don’t want to take the chance of missing out on any high paying jobs do you? Since your answer is likely no, you will want to examine your local newspaper and its employment section. Another one of the many reasons why you will want to use your newspaper and its employment section is because of local businesses. If you live in a large city or near one, you may have multiple newspapers to choose from, all of which likely focus on a particular area. If you have your hometown newspaper, you may be able to tell what businesses are the ones with listed jobs. This can sometimes be a little bit difficult to do online. This can assist you, as it can prevent you from


January 2014

applying for any jobs with companies that you know have a bad track record with paying or treating their employees poorly. Ease of obtaining is just another one of the many reasons why you should use your newspaper employment sections to help you examine all open jobs. There are multiple locations, possibly even thousands of them, that should sell your local newspaper. In fact, you may even have a subscription to one of your local papers. This means that you may already have a newspaper in your possession or it could mean that one will soon be delivered. If you so, you will want to open it right up and start examining all job listings right away. Since newspapers are commonly read, you really don’t have to go out of your

Job way to examine the job listings inside of them. Should you decide to take advantage of your local newspapers and their employment sections, you should like the opportunities that you see available. You will find that most opportunities are local already; therefore, you don’t have to worry about sorting through national employment opportunities. Depending on the job opportunity or the company in question, you may be asked to mail in your resume or submit it in person. Should you mail in your resume, you will want to create a cover

letter for yourself. When creating your cover letter, you will want to outline where you learned about the job in question, like from your local newspaper. This may help you, as it can identify you as a local resident who may be available to come in for an interview at just about anytime. Should you also decide to use the internet, in conjunction with your local newspapers, you will also want to examine any online editions of your newspapers. While not always, many newspapers have separate classified advertisements, including employment

One of the many reasons why you will want to use your newspaper and its employment section is because of local businesses.

listings, for their online editions and their printed editions. This means that you may be able to find additional local job listings by using the internet in conjunction with your local newspaper. Perhaps, it is best to examine all of your options, but be sure to examine your local newspaper’s employment section.

Don’t be Late for an Interview


his may seem obvious, but it happens way too often. No matter the reason, there is no excuse for it (besides an injury or family emergency and then kudos for you for showing up). Getting lost, bad traffic, or losing track of time doesn’t matter to an interviewer. They are taking time away from their primary duties to sit down with you to try and give you a job. It is rude and disrespectful to not show up on time. Here are a few tips to ensure this doesn’t happen: * Do a dry run. If you are going to a city or a part of the city you are not familiar with drive there


January 2014

a few days before. Ideally you will do it during a week day at a similar time to your interview time to gauge the amount of time it takes to get there. * Leave early. Not just 15 minutes early, you can plan to arrive 30-60 minutes before your interview time. Don’t go into the building though. Get into the area, find a coffee shop and relax while reading the paper or reviewing your resume. Not only will this ensure that you are on time it also gives you time to relax and calm yourself before walking into the building. * Pay for parking. Don’t circle the block 12 times

looking for cheap parking on the street. Pay the money to park in a parking garage. You do not want to waste valuable time looking for parking and start to stress yourself at the same time. If you are running late (but really, you shouldn’t be), make sure you call. The interviewer may not have time to complete the interview if you are running late and you will save both of you the time if you let them know. You can try and salvage the faux pas by trying to book another appointment right away. And if you are lucky enough to get a second chance, follow the tips above to arrive not only on time, but early.

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Share your experience! Have you ever read a self-help book, article or blog? Have you tried to apply these tips to your life? Whether it was successful? Share your experiences, good or bad, with readers from around the world! Help others with your life story.

The best articles will be published in our magazine! Send us your story! Read the detailed instructions and rules of use on our website

Personal development


in Interpersonal and Personal Development

Why is it that humans are so afraid to commit themselves to loving each other? People are afraid of the society they live in. They spend more time worrying about what others will think of their relationship until they actually forget about the most crucial behaviors given to humans. 58

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Personal development

It has often been said that if you love, you might be considered naĂŻve. When you are happy, then you are just simple and not worth taking serious. If one is generous and care for the welfare of another, they are considered suspects. Forgiving is a sign of weakness. Developing trust in others you are likely to be considered a fool. When you take all of the above gestures and add them up to get an opinion, you may be considered a phony.


eople need to realize that in order to form a relationship there are so many actions to take into consideration. One needs to know about love; compassion; tenderness; caring; sharing and how to relate to another. Without these fine features life is empty though you may be in the best of health. You may have a very comfortable home and your life still is empty. Even though many humans know this behavior, they spend very little time trying to correct their behavior.


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Today, you can find many people that are so sophisticated that they can’t admit to the confusion and unhappiness that they have let their ego get them into. This can be devastating to a relationship. Learning to share your love with another can be very overwhelming. Humans have such little faith when it comes to the flow of life. There is always that need for permanency or continuity, when the only unchanging quality in life as in love should be growth and freedom. Even though so many humans are afraid of a relationship, you still find ill

Personal development equipped humans forming friendships; marrying; and raising families with no resources to meet the overwhelming demands they may have to face head on. It is very strange that even knowing the desperate need for relating, one may continue through much of their life to only engage in a thoughtless idle behavior, which will only relate in one becoming isolated. There may have been weeks or even months that you may have been happy and full of joy, and then it happens. You began to wonder: Why is it that this relationship is no more? How could this have been overlooked? Was it harder then, or now? These are just a few


January 2014

questions one may ask after a relationship has fail. Don’t be afraid of loving relationships. This is necessary for life, health and growth. Most of you have learned from experience, that inability to live in harmony with another is responsible for many of the fears; anxieties; and mental illnesses. Even those of you that hunger for closeness and understanding often find that there is nowhere you can turn for help. Unable to find help, you may continue to engage blindly in a painful, unfulfilling relationship, which will sap all your energies. Often one will find that they lack the strength and knowledge to meet the demands of relating.

Humans have obviously not learned much from past years. No one has stopped to think that humans are not born with opinions regarding other people one has to be taught. It is up to the individual to discover new solutions and learn new patterns or relating.

Don’t be afraid! Anything that has been learned can be unlearned and relearned. It is only in this process of change that real hope lays. Take time to yourself and focus on the relationship you are wanting. Enter into the relationship aware of the advantages and disadvantages. Never get to comfortable in a relationship; failure could be lurking around the corner.


Four Cognitive Skills for


Learning The word “cognition” is defined as “the act of knowing” or “knowledge.” Cognitive skills therefore refer to those skills that make it possible for us to know. 61

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t should be noted that there is nothing that any human being knows, or can do, that he has not learned. This of course excludes natural body functions, such as breathing, as well as the reflexes, for example the involuntary closing of the eye when an object approaches it. But apart from that a human being knows nothing, or cannot do anything, that he has not learned. Therefore, all cognitive skills must be TAUGHT, of which the following cognitive skills are the most important:

CONCENTRATION Paying attention must be distinguished from concentration. Paying attention is a body function, and therefore does not need to be taught. However, paying attention as such is a function that is quite useless for the act of learning, because it is only a fleeting occurrence. Attention usually shifts very quickly from one object or one thing to the next. The child must first be taught to focus his attention on something and to keep his attention focused on this something for some length of time. When a person focuses his attention for any length of time, we refer to it as concentration. Concentration rests on two legs. First, it is an act of will


January 2014

and cannot take place automatically. Second, it is also a cognitive skill, and therefore has to be taught. Although learning disability specialists acknowledge that “the ability to concentrate and attend to a task for a prolonged period of time is essential for the student to receive necessary information and complete certain academic activities,” it seems that the ability to concentrate is regarded as a “fafrotsky” – a word coined by Ivan T. Sanderson, and standing for “things that FAll FROm The SKY.” Concentration must be taught, after which one’s proficiency can be constantly improved by regular and sustained practice.

PERCEPTION The terms “processing” and “perception” are often used interchangeably. Before one can learn anything, perception must take place, i.e. one has to become aware of it through one of the senses. Usually one has to hear or see it. Subsequently one has to interpret whatever one has seen or heard. In essence then, perception means interpretation. Of course, lack of experience may cause a person to misinterpret what he has seen or heard. In other words, perception represents our apprehension of a present situation in terms of our past experiences, or, as stated by the philosopher Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): “We see things not as they are but as we are.” The following situation will illustrate how perception correlates with previous experience:

Suppose a person parked his car and walks away from it while continuing to look back at it. As he goes further and further away from his car, it will appear to him as if his car is gradually getting smaller and smaller. In such a situation none of us, however, would gasp in horror and cry out, “My car is shrinking!” Although the sensory perception is that the car is shrinking rapidly, we do not interpret that the car is changing size. Through past experiences we have learned that objects do not grow or shrink as we walk toward or away from them. You have learned that their actual size remains constant, despite the illusion. Even when one is five blocks away from one’s car and it seems no larger than one’s fingernail, one would interpret it as that it is still one’s car and that it hasn’t actually changed size. This learned perception is known as size constancy.

Psychology Pygmies, however, who live deep in the rain forests of tropical Africa, are not often exposed to wide vistas and distant horizons, and therefore do not have sufficient opportunities to learn size constancy. One Pygmy, removed from his usual environment, was convinced he was seeing a swarm of insects when he was actually looking at a herd of buffalo at a great distance. When driven toward the animals he was frightened to see the insects “grow” into buffalo and was sure that some form

MEMORY A variety of memory problems are evidenced in the learning disabled. Some major categories of memory functions wherein these problems lie are: Receptive memory: This refers to the ability to note the physical features of a given stimulus to be able to recognize it at a later time. The child who has receptive processing difficulties invariably fails to recognize visual or auditory stimuli such as the shapes or sounds associated with the letters of the alphabet, the number system, etc. Sequential memory: This refers to the ability to recall stimuli in their order of observation or


January 2014

of witchcraft had been at work. A person needs to INTERPRET sensory phenomena, and this can only be done on the basis of past experience of the same, similar or related phenomena. Perceptual ability, therefore, heavily depends upon the amount of perceptual practice and experience that the subject has already enjoyed. This implies that perception is a cognitive skill that can be improved tremendously through judicious practice and experience.

While memory is universally considered a prerequisite skill to successful learning, attempts to delineate its process in the learning disabled are few... presentation. Many dyslexics have poor visual sequential memory. Naturally this will affect their ability to read and spell correctly. After all, every word consists of letters in a specific sequence. In order to read one has to perceive the letters in sequence, and also remember what word is represented by that sequence of letters. By simply changing the sequence of the letters in “name” it can become “mean” or “amen”. Some also have poor auditory sequential memory, and therefore may be unable to repeat longer words orally without getting the syllables in the wrong order, for example words like “preliminary” and “statistical”. Rote memory: This refers to the ability to learn certain information as

a habit pattern. The child who has problems in this area is unable to recall with ease those responses which should have been automatic, such as the alphabet, the number system, multiplication tables, spelling rules, grammatical rules, etc. Short-term memory: Short-term memory lasts from a few seconds to a minute; the exact amount of time may vary somewhat. When you are trying to recall a telephone number that was heard a few seconds earlier, the name of a person who has just been introduced, or the substance of the remarks just made by a teacher in class, you are calling on short-term memory. You need this kind of memory to retain ideas and thoughts when writing a letter, since you must be able to keep the last sentence in mind as you compose the next. You also need this kind of memory when you work on problems. Suppose a problem required that we first add two numbers together (step 1: add 15 + 27) and next divide the sum (step 2: divide sum by 2). If we did this problem in our heads, we would need to retain

Psychology the result of step 1 (42) momentarily, while we apply the next step (divide by 2). Some space in our short-term memory is necessary to retain the results of step 1. Long-term memory: This refers to the ability to retrieve information of things learned in the past.

LOGICAL THINKING In his book “Brain Building” Dr. Karl Albrecht states that logical thinking is not a magical process or a matter of genetic endowment, but a learned mental process. It is the process in which one uses reasoning consistently to come to a conclusion. Problems or situations that involve logical thinking call for structure, for relationships between facts, and for chains of reasoning that “make sense.” The basis of all logical thinking is sequential thought, says Dr. Albre-


January 2014

Until the learning disabled develop adequate skills in recalling information, they will continue to face each learning situation as though it is a new one. No real progress can be attained by either the child or the teacher when the same ground has to be covered over and over because the child

has forgotten. It would appear that the most critical need that the learning disabled have is to be helped to develop an effective processing system for remembering, because without it their performance will always remain at a level much below what their capabilities indicate.

cht. This process involves taking the important ideas, facts, and conclusions involved in a problem and arranging them in a chain-like progression that takes on a meaning in and of itself. To think logically is to think in steps.

first understand division. To understand simple equations in algebra requires that you understand fractions. Solving ‘word problems’ depends on knowing how to set up and manipulate equations, and so on.”

Logical thinking is also an important foundational skill of math. “Learning mathematics is a highly sequential process,” says Dr. Albrecht. “If you don’t grasp a certain concept, fact, or procedure, you can never hope to grasp others that come later, which depend upon it. For example, to understand fractions you must

It has been proven that specific training in logical thinking processes can make people “smarter.” Logical thinking allows a child to reject quick and easy answers, such as “I don’t know,” or “this is too difficult,” by empowering him to delve deeper into his thinking processes and understand better the methods used to arrive at a solution.

Strangely, though, while memory is universally considered a prerequisite skill to successful learning, attempts to delineate its process in the learning disabled are few, and fewer still are methods to systematically improve it.

Logical thinking is not a magical process or a matter of genetic endowment, but a learned mental process.

Self Confidence

Check Your

Confidence Levels Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish.


his is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!


January 2014

Self Confidence Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to

a new independent venture and so on. To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO 1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you? 2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure? 3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings? 4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss? 5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare? 6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no? 7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you? 8. Do you fear taking risks? 9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance? 10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people? If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.


January 2014

Self Confidence Here are some more questions you may answer. 1. Have you accomplished anything in the past? 2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion? 3. Do you feel you are well respected by others? 4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed? 5. Are you a happy and loving person? 6. Are you satisfied with your career graph? 7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications? 8. Do you feel in control of your life? 9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now? 10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person? If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels. However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very

much possible. It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

psychology popular

Tips to improve your life

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January 2014

Self Determination


Really Makes You


10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

Be all you can be, but it’s not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it’s hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed. 68

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Self Determination Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful. So we’re all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn’t even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can they? 1. What do I really want? The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe Today’s generation has even promiscuity. So taken another level of how does that fit into redefining ‘self’, or at your lifestyle? least that’s what the If history has taught kids are saying. Havus one thing, it’s the ing an army of teenage nieces and nephews has life that we have gone through. Try to see if taught me that there 2. Should I really change?

3. What’s the bright side in all of this? With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

partying Seventies style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

4. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing? There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented. 5. Have I done enough for myself? Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.


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Self Determination 6. Am I happy at where I am today?

9. What motivates me?

It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It’s not like you can’t have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that’s it. Just try it piece by piece.

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex? So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have? I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really


January 2014

need it. I’d like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the ques-

tion is that how much are you willing to work for it?

10. What Really Makes You Tick? So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.

Self Improvement

10 Things You Can Eat That Can Make You Clever Certain Foods Can Help Keep The Brain Healthy and Active.


January 2014

Self Improvement


olving crossword puzzles and sudokus may help to keep the brain alive, but they are not the whole answer. So, what will protect the brain from ageing? You have to eat the right foods. We’ve all been told by our parents to eat fish because that is brain food. Our parents were not wrong, but eating certain fish is better for the brain than any old fish. Another advantage to eating food that is good for the brain is that it is also good for the heart. Besides fish, what else should be eaten that will protect the delicate nerve cells and bloodvessels from the damage that often goes hand in hand with ageing? Why not include the foods listed below in your daily diet?

Fish – What Fish? Herring, Sardines and Salmon are all oily fishes. The oil we get from these fishes is full of omega 3 fatty acids. Therefore, the more omega 3 there is in the blood the higher the level of serotonin. Serotonin is a mood enhancer. It can give you that feel-good feeling. In a test run by the Rush Institute for healthy

Eat Your Vegetables Homocysteines are chemicals that are a normal part of protein metabolism. But too much homocysteine is not good for you. It brings on Dementia and also increases heart disease. How can you keep homocysteines at a reasonable level? By eating dark-green vegetables for example Broccoli and Curly Kale.

ageing in Chicago, USA it was found that people who had a fish meal even only once a week

are less likely to suffer with Alzheimer’s Disease than those who don’t eat fish.

Fruit Can Also Be Good For You and Your Brain Sweet wild blueberries are full of anti-oxidants. Anti-oxidants are the good guys that get rid of the free radicals in the body. How do these free radicals get into the body? You don’t have to be a smoker to inhale passive nicotine. If you walk in the street, cars, buses and motorbikes are giving off petrol or diesel fumes. And as you breathe in, you are breathing in pollutants that are not good for your health. There are some chemicals in blueberries that help keep the arteries in good condition; this in turn can prevent high blood pressure. If blueberries are difficult to buy at your local greengrocers, most supermarkets stock tinned blueberries.


January 2014

Self Improvement Popeye Sort of Had The Right Idea While Popeye took spinach to give him bulging muscles so he could get the better of his enemies, we should take spinach to improve

Brown Rice Is Better Than White Rice Switch to brown rice instead of white. This will improve your intake of nutrients. Brown rice is filled with vitamins and magnesium, which seem to play a large part in improving the brain’s function.


January 2014

the functioning of our brains. It makes sense, as the brain is also a muscle. A salad with spinach has more than three times the folate as a salad with lettuce.

Whole grains contain Vitamin B6, which aids in reducing homocysteine levels. People often don’t have enough Vitamin B6, this is because they usually eat processed food.

Red Wine or Grape Juice Which Is Best? Drinking red wine in moderation is good for you, it increases longevity, yet what’s good about it, seeing as it slows down the functioning of the brain?

Now Popeye’s Girl Friend Olive Oil Olive Oil the main ingredient of the Mediterranean Diet is good for your heart.

Grape Juice is the better choice than red wine. It has an abundance of anti-oxidants. In fact, it has more anti-oxidants than any other fruit, vegetable or juice.

So, go with Popeye and Olive Oil and enjoy a healthy heart.

Self Improvement Hot Cocoa Is More Than Just A Good Night Drink It has been found that two tablespoons of cocoa powder is almost twice as strong as red wine, two to three times stronger than green tea

and four to five times stronger than black tea. The anti-oxidants in hot cocoa protect the brain cells from oxidative stress that can lead to Alzheimer’s and other disorders.

Nuts To You Almonds and Walnuts are full of Anti-Oxidants. They have been found to lower blood cholesterol levels because of their monounsaturated fat content. This means they don’t make you put on weight. Walnuts are rich in omega 3’s.

Garlic Is Good For More Than Scaring Off Vampires Garlic also has Anti-Oxidant properties. However, it also contains Anti-Bacterial and AntiViral compounds that help shake off stress induced colds and infections. Raw crushed garlic is best, but although cooked garlic is less powerful, it still is good for the heart.


January 2014

Books reviews

The Road Less Traveled

A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

M. Scott Peck


erhaps no book in this generation has had a more profound impact on our intellectual and spiritual lives than The Road Less Traveled. With sales of more than seven million copies in the United States and Canada, and translations into more than twenty-three languages, it has made publishing history, with more than ten years on the New York Times bestseller list. Now, with a new Introduction by the author, written especially for this twenty-fifth anniversary deluxe trade paperback edition of the all-time national bestseller in its field, M. Scott Peck explains the ideas that shaped this book and that continue to influence an ever-growing audience of readers. Paperback: 320 pages Average Customer Review:  Publisher: Touchstone

Man’s Search For Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl


Eat That Frog!

21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

Brian Tracy

hen Beacon Press first published Man’s Search for Meaning in 1959, Carl Rogers called it “one of the outstanding contributions to psychological thought in the last fifty years.” In the thirty-three years since then, this book - at once a memoir, a selfhelp book, and a psychology manual - has become a classic that has sold more than three million copies in English language editions. Man’s Search for Meaning tells the chilling and inspirational story of eminent psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned at Auschwitz and other concentration camps for three years during the Second World War. Immersed in great suffering and loss, Frankl began to wonder why some of his fellow prisoners were able not only to survive the horrifying conditions, but to grow in the process.


Paperback: 224 pages Average Customer Review: Publisher: Pocket Books

Paperback: 129 pages Average Customer Review: Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers


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rian Tracy is a leading authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He addresses over 250,000 people each year on the subjects of personal and professional development. For people who are overwhelmed by tasks of all sizes, this book provides the 21 most effective methods for conquering procrastination and accomplishing more. By identifying, then tackling, their biggest, most unpleasant task first -- the philosophy of “eating a frog” -- readers learn to plan and organize each day, set priorities, get started right away, and complete jobs faster. Written in a fast-moving format and breezy style, this book is immediately accessible and applicable for readers in any occupation.

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Popular Psychology  

Magazine that offers tips to improve your life. Topics: Tips for a better Life, Love and happiness, Jobs and finance, Self development.