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HENRY 'SWAMPY' MOORE / KIERAN BANKS /BEN TRINKLE / 45rpm HOLY STOKED INDIA tour / SKATeISTAN / black cat pool sessions SQWASH CO. / carl vance's vaults / THE STRANGEST PET ON EARTH patrick merryfield / building a skatepark in your back garden





cover photographs: carl vance


front: john cardiel back: mark gonzales

ben haizelden tim smith carl vance tom mangham james griffiths neil turner james ‘chin’ collins bruce mcclure james green dan ruck polly forbes-gower 45 rpm henry ‘swampy’ moore kieran banks ben trinkle patrick merryfield andy martinez karl payne lucien harris tom quigley rob salmon rich‘scumtash’dowton poornabodh nadavatti tim bartelot callum cook poornabodh nadavatti dave goatley josh whiehead sincerest thanks to all.


in no particular order

Artist features: swampy / kieran banks / ben trinkle / 45rpm



james green

building a skatepark in your back garden by dan ruck.

holy stoked vans india tour

poornabodh nadavatti

black cat pool sessions photographs by lucien harris text by tim bartelot

text by

photographs by

tim hill

contact social media instagram @dogpissmag



PATRICK MERRYFIELD dean flowing through bs3; a concrete sea colour coming in waves, among debris not planning to keep low key loud and proud it reads – locals only. it’s plain to say dean lane paves the way in and out the reign of spilt beer and pain staining each bit of polyurethane and bicycle chain. with hardcores shouting harsh chords often so hard to ignore acting as a mentor to slay fifty fifties and crispy nitties galore. with Dame Emily from the start essentially the centre piece heart conceiving prophets and a rticulate art the satanic sweetheart to articulate art. it’s art. not state of the art nor art of the state we relate to this honest craft hard graft & games of skate. for the dean & for dom.


Skateistanjames green by

illustrations by

polly forbes-gower Skateistan is a non-profit organisation that uses skateboarding to empower at risk youth. By using skateboarding to engage children, Skateistan is able to help some of the hardest-to-reach youth enrol in arts-based education programmes and become youth leaders in their local communities. Skateistan began as a grassroots project on the streets of Kabul in 2007 after skater and founder Oliver Percovich moved to Afghanistan with his former girlfriend. After a skate session in an unused fountain quickly turned into a skate lesson for the local children, Ollie realised the potential skateboarding had in reaching Afghan youth, regardless of background, gender or ethnicity. Not only was this their first taste of skateboarding, but also the country’s first interaction with the sport. Seeing the natural magnetism skateboarding possesses, Ollie recognised that in utilising it as an entry to educational programmes, skateboarding could transcend the skate park and provide greater access to opportunity for all Afghan children. Considering the difficulties faced by Afghan girls wanting to participate in more traditional sports, the challenge of getting girls to skateboard in Afghanistan was a formidable one.

The sheer originality of Skateistan’s innovative approach enabled it to be successful in completely bypassing the complex issues of social stigma, gender ideals and ethnicity; as a totally new notion in the country, no socially constructed concepts surrounding skateboarding were given time to formulate. Ten years later, Afghanistan has the highest concentration of female skateboarders in the world (51%) and has expanded to five Skate School facilities across Cambodia and South Africa, engaging almost 2,000 children aged 5-17. one thing that strikes me is the ability of skateboarding to morph and adapt to occupy the exact space where it is needed. We saw it emerge as a vehicle of self-expression in the 60’s, we saw it embody punk in the 70’s and we witnessed its unifying force between social outliers on opposite sides of the Berlin Wall in the 80’s. What we have seen from these experiences is the ability of skateboarding to provide an outlet to youth creativity and angst. Skateboarding has historically been sold to people as just that, young breakaways on the fringes of society, but what if skateboarding’s relationship with society was flipped on its head and accepted into the heart of local communities? What if the Skate Schools were owned and run by motivated local educators and youth leaders? What could be achieved then? And here lies the brilliance of Skateistan its unique ability to change the dynamic between skateboarding and the community in deprived and conflict-affected areas. Skateistan shows what can be allowed to happen when skateboarding is integrated positively into communities and used to combat social exclusion, promote gender quality, create youth leaders and provide safe recreational spaces for local children. Children learn how to be part of the group in the skate park and classroom as well as acquiring a sense of individuality and freedom we all feel on a skateboard. The nature of skateboarding hasn’t changed and never will, but it’s perception and utility has – and Skateistan is playing a big part in that. james green. skateistan.

Since I joined Skateistan I think my life has changed because I like skateboarding, but some of my friends don’t like it. They like soccer or basketball. But I think I have more confidence than before. I also made some new friends in the past month. They’re really good at skating. Abdul – 15, Skateistan Afghanistan

Where it all began – Mekroyan Fountain, Kabul. “Located near a middle-class apartment block, it turned out to be the perfect place to teach kids how to skate. Even though the dust had to be swept out before every session, dozens of curious youth came to skate from the apartment blocks or the mayor road beside the fountain, where young boys and girls earn a living in the streets as car washers, chewing gum sellers and beggars. The whole idea was building something for the kids in Afghanistan and it doesn’t matter if they’re poor, or rich, or coming from different ethnicities. That was the whole idea and we’re lucky it’s still running like that.”

So much has changed since the beginning until now. For example in the past I was just a small girl student skating with big people and afraid of them, but now I am teaching skateboarding and art class also. This is what I have waited for, for so many years. It’s like my dream came true. Srey Pich – 16, Skateistan Cambodia

I’ve learned a lot of new things at Skateistan. I learnt a lot about skateboarding, the new sport that I had never heard about before, general knowledge that my public school doesn’t have, yoga, self-defense, invention and creativity, confidence and bravery from skateboarding and I have made a lot of friends. In the past month I’ve made some new friends from another women’s organization. Mora – 16, Skatesitan Cambodia.

patrick merryfield / no comply / photograph by andy martinez

ty tracey / a pond

/ photograph by josh whitehead




photographs & words by

bob scumtash

instagram swampy: @swampcrust


bob scumtash: @scumtash

Fuck man, where to start? Straight out of the Swompton slums Henry is an antidote to all the wavy, limp wrist, dad coach foetus baby miniramping, street-leaguing olympic leotard crap that swirls around skating these days. As a crust punk renaissance man Henry’s talents extend far beyond proper frontside grinds and the super rad artwork you’ll see in this article. King of the whittlers he’ll carve you a banjo out of a log using a spanner, make you a beetroot sandwich from crops grown on his own allotment, build a table to put it on and then provide the homebrew to wash it all down with whilst tattoing something sick on your shinbone. He’s also a freakishly talented musician, look for lo-fi or die on Bandcamp and throw him some coin. The man is a prolific producer of all things you’d call DIY these days, but it’s not DIY for Henry it’s just how it is. Spend some time with him and you’ll soon be questioning your own safe middle class Tesco Express comfort zone. I know I have and I know that when Trump and Kim-jong finally press their mutual destruct buttons then I’ll be seeking out Henry to help build the post apocalyptic commune we’ll need to survive, and you know it’ll have a fucking rad bowl too. So cheers Henry for staying true to the no bullshit, crusty barging, warpig captaining, european knife smuggling, secret hip-hop mugging, face-planting, BSOYM-ing, blatant yokeling, slashback gnarlering way of doing things. He’ll hate all the arse-licking above and I know it, but thanks for actually keeping it real Swampy. Bob Scumtash.




SKATEBOARDING in IPSWICH AND BEYOND IN THE 90s images from the archive of

carl vance photographs by carl vance julian sharpe tim brown ben marr dan mccolley / airwalk fingerflip / 1991

carl vance / double grab / 1990

photograph by tim brown

ron allen / ollie / stevenage / 1989

carl vance / front blunt / 1993 photograph by tim brown

dan mccolley / boardslide / 1991

dan mccolley / one foot ollie / 1991

tom penny / kickflip / radlands / 1993

carl lamb / caveman boardslide / 1991 photograph by julian sharp

carl vance / bluntslide / 1991 photograph by ben marr



PHOTOGRAPHS BY TIM SMITH First off..It seems that planning officers ARE’NT REALLY BOTHERED about what your’RE doing in your backyard unless there are complaints from neighbours.. they are really only there to keep the peace between neighbours, but they will do there job and enforce the rules if they have to! Some neighbours were cool about it cos they know me and understand i am not an idiot, and actually like the fact that i play with and spend time with my kids. They have seen me playing out front teaching my kids to kick a ball and skate since they were very young ..we only skate during the earlier than 10:00 and no later than 7:30ish, and not for prolonged periods. Also, soft wheels and bearings with spacers are so much quietER than hard wheels..makes such a big difference with noise! we only skate hard wheels on one offs when the lads come round like Tim and Frank last week. The noisiest part is when your trucks or board hit the coping, but in my opinion its no louder than if a kid were to be smacking sticks around or constantly bouncing or kicking a ball at a fence, which apparently is ok but skateboarding isnt to some people! I had complaints from 2 sets of neighbours and they were going around trying to “rally the troops” to put a stop to our “skatepark” before i even layed any concrete they complained to planning and also to the noise nuisance officers saying we were making lots of noise when working and loud voices swearing etc.. twats! You do not need planning permission to concrete your backyard...but planning brought a rule in a few years ago where you cannot build, without planning permission, a “raised platform” above 30cm high...thats right 30cm!! This was basically for people complaining about neighbours nosying on them from raised decking platforms etc. Our ramps are over double that but still small at less than 3 foot. We live on a on one side there was already a 2 foot high wall that retained the land above we were able to call that quarter “landscaping” and therefore cannot be a raised platform. On the other side we had to build a free standing quarter pipe which could be considered a “raised platform” But the deck of the ramp is not a large enough area to put a chair on and nobody will be standing on top of it for any long period of time. We had a meeting with the planning officer who explained this stuff to helped that he was a cyclist and had helped raise money for a local skatepark. So he kinda understood skateboarding on some level and understood my need to get outside with my family in a safe

NATHAN RUCK / BACK D / HUDDERSFIELD and private eviroment, instead of sat in front of the TV or burrying our heads in bloody I pads!!

I explained to him that i was building a patio for playing football, having bbqs, riding bikes, and yes skateboarding. both my kids skate ...there is no park in walking distance where we live, no field to play football and certainly no skatepark in walking distance. Dont know if you have kids or not but this kind of stuff helps your argument. I explained this stuff to him..told him we will skate soft wheels, and wont skate late at night or early morning. Also told him if we didnt go ahead with the concrete ramps we will definetly be building a wooden mini, which would be very noisy! Even though he accepted that our ramps were going to be small and that we would be considerate of neighbours, he would not put his job at risk by telling us that we didnt need planning permission, based on the raised platform thing. He gave us some options.. option 1 - Apply for planning permission but its 50/50 as if u were to get it. option 2 - Apply for some kind of building/ permanent structure permission...same as planning basically option3 - dont do may get told to take down your “raised platform” We chose to take the risk and do it anyway.. based on the facts that we will be considerate of neighbours by skating soft wheels, not skating for overly long periods, and not skating too early or late in the day. Planning officer phoned me couple of months after we finished to ask what we had chose to do..i told him, and once again gave him my reasons for doing it and he told me that he hadnt had anymore complaints and was looking to close the case, which he did! I think the case can be re opened again if we were to have any complaints, but its been finished about 9 months now and so far there hasnt been any. A couple of neighbours came round to have a bit of a nosey and were very impressed with the look of it and surprised at how smooth the finish of the concrete was..Ive got the hard work of Joe Howard and Doug Mcloughlan to thank for that!


My advice to you would be do it..Do it right..its gonna cost a fair bit..its a lot of hard work depending on size of the area and guessing you or your boys already know about concrete but if not let me know, i will put you in touch with the lads who did mine. Put up a big fence first to to keep it private ,call it a patio, be nice to everyone even if you do feel like telling them to “mind your business you small minded, miserable, boring prick” Its class man...only small quarters less than 3 foot but i went for a 5 foot radius on the transitions so its got a bit of whip! My daughter has learnt to drop in and son has perfected his back d’s, and i still cant do blunt fakies!

frank / fs ollie / dan's yard photograph by tim smith


gil amos / back tai l transfer / photograph by ben the luddite






photographs by

stuart david taylor

So what is SqWash Co? So Sqwash is an independent Scottish skateboard clothing brand started up at the end of 2016 by myself with the idea behind it being to support and shine more light on the Scottish skateboard scene.

It's so rad to see people starting their own things. So many things within skateboarding are money directed now, it's great to see things that are about a love of skateboarding and taking ownership of your beliefs of how it should be done and presented? What are your plans for the future? A video? More products? A zine? H ow do you see you guys representing your take on skateboarding? I fully agree with that, it’s great to see so many different brands out there these days, there’s something for everyone. Yeah we started filming earlier this year so a video is definitely in mind for the future, it’ll be a while yet but we’ll still be putting out plenty of footage in between now and then. More products for sure, we’ve got lot’s of plans to expand the upcoming ranges, with a bunch of new stuff coming out for late summer. We’ve been putting 10% of all sales in to a big D.I.Y fund that we’ve just started to use to build a new spot in Aberdeen, as we grow we will continue to put a percentage of our sales towards funds for more D.I.Y spots all over so that we’re always giving something back to skateboarding.

In an ideal world there would be room for everyone to exist and do their own thing. But there are limited resources in Skateboarding with regards to supporting companies. Do you feel that by making products your taking money out of the pocket of established brands that maybe do more visiable things for skateboarding. Or, like us, has your impetus come from feeling like your values are being presented less and less within current media and brands?

neil kellas

sqWash co.

neil kellas

I’ve always wanted to do my own thing in terms of starting a brand within skateboarding, I’ve always felt like there’s been a bit of a lack of coverage of the Scottish skateboard scene and now with more and more parks and DIY spots being built in Scotland,there’s a whole load of new and OG skaters absolutely killing it and I’ve always just been like, people need to see this shit! So I mean I could have tried to start a zine or just straight up film all the time but I’ve always been in to artwork within skateboarding and the clothing styles so I felt like that’s where I should start things up, this way I can do what I’ve always wanted to do whilst still getting footage out there of the guys that are killing it and if people want to rep it and buy the products too then that’s even more rad. I definitely don’t feel like we’re taking anything from other brands that are doing more for skateboarding, we’re only small at the moment but we’ll always be putting something back in to skateboarding! so are there any brands that get you stoked at the moment, skateboarding or other? I'm pretty much hyped on any companies that are putting out full length videos in physical format, I think it's important that that side of skateboarding doesn't get lost on the internet. The GX1000 guys get me hyped to go and skate any time I watch any of their edits or videos, it's just proper raw skateboarding, so I was stoked that they put out a physical copy of their full length, I've absolutely rinsed that dvd! so are theguys involved with the brand all local to you or are you spread about a bit? do you guys make an effort to get out and meet other skaters and scenes? So it originally started as a crew of guys from Aberdeen but my plan was always to open it up and support folk from all over. There's a pretty good connection in Scotland between most cities and towns, it's like everyone knows who everyone is. So I then hooked up my good mate Rab that now lives in Glasgow and that's definitely helped to get the name out there a bit more and has got more people stoked on it. We'll also try and get out and about as much as we can to film in different places so that it doesn't look like we're just filming all our stuff in the one place.. Aberdeen definitely lacks on street spots compared to some other places.

and lastly, what is your favourite skateboard related memory? I remember way back like 12 years ago or so when we skated boards to death because we never had money to get new boards all the time and two of my firends, John and Greg had snapped their boards skating stairs and didn’t have any boards to skate, so they both made these decks out of just flat blocks of wood, like literally just planks of wood but they skated them for two or three days just like normal. I remember them both clearing this six stair size gap on those boards and just being amazed at how well they managed to skate them and how much fun they were having at the same time. We barely ever used to complain about the state of our boards when we were younger compared to now.

artist feature

Kieran banks Kieran Jalfrezi Banks is a man. A man who lives in Paris. Illustrator, writer, painter and rap icon, Kieran is a man bursting at the seams with artistic prowess and can-do attitude. Originally made in Southampton Mr Banks honed his skills as an artist and barman in Bristol and London before taking his sketch book and considerable talents to Paris. When not working for The Man KJB can be found sitting in the corners of cafes and creperies craftily sketching the locals and making speech bubbles come out of their mouths. To quote the man himself, "There's six million ways to cook rice, choose one." And I think we can all agree with that. alex ‘stav’ linley

black cat pool session photographs by lucien text by tim bartelot


spotted off the top deck of a bus. full to the brim with tadpoles and decades old rain. curved corners must mean curved bottom, yeah? weeks of borrowed syphon hose apologies. new pensioner dog walker neighbour mates. overgrown crazy golf. sharing brandy with a 60s king of the mountain. legendary bunch of cunts assemble for a potential California dream. olly howe, timmy bee, mad jono, gooey stewie, pill pharker, timhill, ludawg and the savoury sam. bail sludge on your fresh kicks. save all those baby frogs. chip in for the barbeque. get the beers in. skate that shit. the transitions only 6 inches, your nose hits. its not that good after all. fuck it get rad!

why the fuck not ?

tim bartelot in a tight spot.

A CHALET hotel which used to be the heart of a community has been left to 'go to pot', neighbours claim. Residents living nearby the Torbay Berkeley Hotel, Blagdon, Paignton, have expressed concerns that the hotel is being allowed to rust away. The hotel, formerly the Torbay Motel, closed for good in April after trading for 40 years. Staff took the decision to shut the place down after water and gas were cut off and bills went unpaid. The complex, off Totnes Road, has laid abandoned since and post has been piling up two feet deep through the letter box. Weeds and grass have grown three feet high and through cracks in the concrete while bins remain un-emptied. The outdoor pool has not been drained and the water has gone green while the railing is rusting and the tarpaulin roll used to cover the pool is covered in mould. A padlock had been fixed to the back door by previous owner Graham Booth to stop squatters moving in. Retired prison officers Eric and Mavis Barbé who live in Beechdown Park, next to the Torbay Berkeley Hotel, said: "It's so sad to see it go to pot. "It could make a great place for the elderly or a fantastic Travelodge. It's got a perfect location between Totnes and Paignton. It's not too far from Brixham. "A lot of people come up looking for a bed and breakfast but there is nothing round here like that. I keep an eye on the place but it won't take long for it to start falling apart." Mr Booth said he had considered buying the place back and revamping it in May this year. He said he tried to contact new owner Capital Wealth Management Ltd, run by Stephen Hussey, but to no avail. The company was found to have unfairly dismissed staff at an employment tribunal in Exeter last week and was told to pay 10 staff almost £70,000 for loss of holiday and redundancy pay. The tribunal was told that the issue of the company's solvency was due to be decided in January. CWM is currently the subject of a winding-up order. Mr Booth said: "I built the place with my brother 40 years ago. I ran it for 40 years to a high standard. It's a shame to see it like that. "In May I looked to see if I could buy it back. Because of all the work required to put it right I offered £500,000 but I haven't heard anything back from them. "I think it could cost up to £500,000 to put it right." Mr Booth still owns two units on the site which is another reason why he considered buying the whole hotel back. He added: "I had to put padlocks on it even though it's not even my property any more. "It can't be nice for the people living in the two units I still own to have all this mess on their doorstep. It's such a shame to see the place like that." Paul Kennedy is one of the 28 residents living in the unit still owned by Mr Booth. He said: "It needs modernising. I was here when it was open and it used to be the heart of the community with its bar and shop. Now there's nothing. It's a real shame." Torbay Council confirmed it had not received any planning applications for the site. Ward councillor John Thomas said: "We would all like to see something done there. Nobody wants to see it remain idle." The Herald Express tried to get in touch with Capital Wealth Management and Stephen Hussey on several occasions but was unable to make contact. text from

used without permision


“When I first moved to Beechdown Park in 2004 the motel and it's grounds were beautiful. The lawns, trees and plantings were lovely. The swimming pools were very popular and used by motel guests and local residents. There was a small shop which sold essentials. The bar in the main motel was a popular meeting place and provided excellent food and service. Mr Booth (a UKIP minister) owned both the motel and BP and kept both in good condition.” maureen

local resident.

stop reading this now and find some fucked shit to skate !

artist feature:


instagram @45rpmwhat

I’m 45rpm I’m an idiot that lives in Bristol. I like dogs, painting on stuff and taking photos. When I was a kid I wanted to be a marine biologist, I think I thought this meant living in a city underwater. I got a B in art at school because all I wanted to do was draw skulls, I’m still drawing skulls everyday twenty years later, I think that means I win. Once a blind kid broke my nose, but it was already broken and wonky so it knocked it back straight, his punishment was that we had to spend time together, I’m still confused about who that punished. If I don’t draw the idea that’s in my head I literally go insane, but as soon as it’s on a piece of paper I can be a real boy again. So I might be on a important design job and have to quickly stop to draw a sexy ghost just so I can write boo-ner next to it and move on with my life. On my grave I want to have (buried with all his gold) so I’m always getting dug up as I’m guessing it’s boring down there. Check my Instagram if you want to see more pictures of bums, skulls and smoking dogs. Sleep when your dead or in bed. 45rpm.

all photographs and illustrations by 45rpm.

calum simpson / backside flip / laandaan / photograph by chris morgan

fred halsey / one foot / photograph by tim smith


hamish / chuck on boardslide / bedminster photograph by james griffiths

kurt mastouras / smith photograph by james 'chin' collins

josh whitehead / ride on 50/ somewhere / photograpH by tim smith

finbar / up and down / bristol / photgraph by ben the luddite

blinky / tailslide revert / holmfirth / photograph by tim smith

dillon catney / ollie over fence / jersey photograph by karl payne

luka pinto / 5050 pop in / jersey photograph by karl payne

chris mann / ollie / london / photogrpaph by will creswick

billy trick / backside boneless / london / photograph by will creswick

james griffiths / wallie photograph by tom mangham

the light of day feature: unpublished projects

every day is divine by

benjamin haizelden.

The photographs presented here were made over a period of a few months during 2009 in the Spanish region of Andalucia. The project was envsioned as a way to address our relationship with religion and and how iconography and semiology play a part in our understanding of the abstract concepts central to religion. at this time the project is still incomplete but hopefully in the near future i will have time to finish editing and scanning all the photographs that were made (the selection here was made from over 100 rolls of film shot).

If you have photographic projects that you would like featured in dogpiss mag please email us. whether it be complete projects, artists books, or work in progress we are always interested in hearing from photographers and artists with a focused practice.


BE N TRINKLE instagram @bgtrinkledrawings

holy stoked tour vans india and brits abroad

photographs by poornabodh text by tim



additional photographs by dave goatley

illustration by stewart paton First rule on tour in india; never stick your head out the window! When watching beautifully painted lorries hurtling towards your coach in a hectic game of chicken you realise Indians have a close relationship with death, and with breaking any and every rule. If your driver takes out all the electricity to a small town and it’s arching over your bus just don’t think about it ‘cos none of Holy Stoked crew have. It happened last year too, but who cares?….. there’s a jank ass pink bowl with rebar instead of coping that we need to go skate! In Bangalore we met up with the ten guys coming from the UK before heading onto the night train to Hampi. We stayed at the Shanti guest house, [I had a cave]. Shanti’s got a concrete mini and a tiny bowl too but the best thing about Hampi is its surrounded by mountains. Mountains with big flat rocks and natural quarter pipes with temples. Its where Hanuman The Monkey Trickster God was born and you can skate it all with his little monkey mates running around at your feet trying to steal your camera and mango juice.


photograph by dave goatley

When in India if yer Goatman (Dave Goatley) goes missing for 24 hours after hurtling into the darkness on his own with a drunk tuk tuk driver the night before tour begins, JUST CHILL! But send someone check the hospitals anyway. The tour’s started and there’s steep banks with cacti sticking over the top which are hilarious to fall into. Skateboarding’s a new scene in a massive country, and the Holy Stoked crew have DIY’d most of India’s parks. Being with the hundred or so people on tour everyone felt fucking tight. It was like the whole country’s 13 years old and about to head to NASS led by Julian Molyneux shouting “METAL is the Catalyst to Radness”. The whole tour somehow managed to stop in places where booze had been banned due to an election or religious festival, not that it mattered cos of Indians perspective on rules. But it did mean that Stew (Stewart Paton) had to get a lift to the next village over with a nice young man who kept reaching for his nuts which happened to be right next to Stews cock. “Would you like a cigarette? Wow look at your arms, you really look like The Rock”.

Eventually the tour ended up in Goa, and once we’d peer pressured the Eco Warrior Pedro into chucking all the empty beer bottles out of the window (it’s the indian way, and illegal to take even empties across the border) we crossed over into Goa. Here the beer was really cheap and after Jules did a K-Grind down the aisle of the coach with a busted ACL something happened,….. we all woke up to an empty coach in the middle of an artist commune. Jumping out the locked coaches window we explored the area which was a cross between a jungle and a GCSE art project with Barbie doll heads scattered around. Quietly we snuck into the building where a fucking Cerebus (and the killer of 17 other dogs) looked up at us, showed us his teeth and told us that we were not where we were meant to be. So we retreated to the treehouses and passed out ready for the final day of the tour.

photograph by dave goatley

photograph by dave goatley

gcse art project with doll heads scattered about...



photograph by dave goatley

Waking up in the trees next morning we could explore Cirrus, skate its little concrete park and get stupid moustaches at the local barber ready for the final jam. Max won best trick! BS nose pick on the big quarter. He managed to swap the shoes he won with a Prince of Hydrabad for a wife and after that all we had to do was watch the guys set the skatepark on fire and wince as the flames licked 10’ up the hostels walls. So that was it, tour over, we headed to the beach to spend the last of our money on Shark and Cocktails and sleep on the beach where we ganged up with Sandstorm and the other local street dogs who kept us safe from any 5am yoga joggers threatening ten filthy guys passed out in the sand.

no such thing as too many frontside grinds. tim hill ups the quota. cheers mate


NEIL TURNER > dogpissmagazine


Voyage to the arse of nowhere. The urge tends to surface in deep winter, housebound, frustrated, at least three hours deep into a tea sesh. Distractions are minimal, boredom has peaked and the drive to explore cant be supressed by sunshine, skateparks and cold beer. Options are limited. Greasy flatground in the NCP wont cut it and its unanimously agreed that the indoor park can fuck off. So attention turns to the mountain of tip offs, rumours and hearsay that have accumulated over the years. Hidden industrial relics in shit-hole towns. Mills, mansions, culverts, bridges, pipes, pools and other architectural nonsense, forgotten and festering in the arse end of nowhere.

ian rees / melon fakie / none of yours

photograph by neil turner