family life
Diocese of New Ulm Marriage Preparation Program provides tools to build a strong and healthy marriage for engaged couples by Katie Ballalatak Prairie Catholic correspondent NEW ULM – Each year, the Diocese of New Ulm Office of Family Life conducts up to six Marriage Preparation Programs that allow engaged Catholic couples to study and understand the richness and beauty of the teachings of the Catholic Church on marriage and family. These one-day programs feature committed Catholic married couples who present on the topic of marriage. They bring these teachings to life through the sharing of their own experiences – all to help engaged couples prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage. Roger and Deb Schroeder, parishioners of Holy Redeemer in Marshall, and Deacon Russ and Debbie Blaschko, parishioners of St. Peter in St. Peter, have served the diocese as marriage preparation presenters for 20 and 34 years, respectively. Both couples consider this opportunity a gift – one they genuinely love giving again and again to Catholic couples throughout the year. The Marriage Preparation Program focuses on six C’s. s Commitment unfolds marriage as a sacrament, a visible sign of God’s love, that is faithful, fruitful and forever. s Communication explores ways for couples to share themselves, their values, ideals, and hopes for their own relationship, their family and beyond. s Conflict resolution explores skills to restore harmony in relationships in a Christ-like and charitable manner. s Career and finance speaks of time, talent, and treasure and the sharing of those in the family, the Church, and the world. s Children and parenting highlights the relationship of family and how the couple is enriched through their use of natural family planning (NFP), as they seek to parent their children. s Church explores faith and spirituality in marriage, highlighting interfaith issues and the importance of prayer. Sr. Candace Fier, ISSM, is the director of the Office of Family Life for the Diocese of New Ulm. She holds a masters degree in Marriage and Family and is also a nurse and a certified
CrM FertilityCare practioner. Beyond coordinating the Marriage Preparation Program and its presenters, she spends considerable time collaborating with other diocesan Family Life offices throughout the state. “We as family life directors have ongoing conversations about how we think we can most effectively reach our couples today. What are the specific needs of our couples that are coming to us? How do we respond to the needs that society presents?” As a result of these discussions, all Minnesota dioceses have a standard pre-marriage preparation program, and each meets the requirements needed to get married in the Catholic Church. This allows engaged couples to attend any of the pre-marriage programs in the state, should scheduling conflicts come into play.
“I think that’s been a real positive for us in the sense that it makes it much easier to serve our couples,” says Sr. Candace.
Sr. Candace Fier (front), director of the diocesan Office of Family Life is pictured with her team of marriage preparation presenters (front-back) Roger and Deb Schroeder and Debbie and Deacon Russ Blaschko. (Photo by Christine Clancy)
Above all, Sr. Candace says it’s important for the diocese to provide engaged couples with good role models and support from couples living strong faith lives. “All of our presenters view their presentation as a gift to the future marriage of each couple. I encourage couples to take advantage of that – to take the time to ask questions and really be enriched by what those couples can give.”
During their years of marriage presenting, the Schroeders have primarily spoken on communication and conflict – topics they say they “fell” into but consider of the utmost importance. “Communication is just so key and so important in a marriage. It’s something we’ve worked hard to keep open in our own marriage,” said Deb.
Meet the Schroeders Married for 28 years and the parents of seven children, Roger and Deb ultimately became involved in marriage ministry to give back to engaged couples in the Catholic Church. Twenty years later, their intention remains the same. “We believe so strongly in the sacrament of marriage,” said Roger. “We know the joys of being married and the importance of staying together, and we like helping where we can.” Deb agrees: “We love having the opportunity to share our experiences and some of our own ups and downs of marriage with others so they can gain information that could potentially help them in their own marriages,” she said.
The Prairie Catholic
In between presentations, Roger and Deb make themselves available and have had couples approach them to talk about addiction, family life, or specific questions they didn’t feel comfortable bringing to a larger group setting. The Schroeders’ time spent in marriage ministry has helped build and strengthen their marriage as well: “Every time we are preparing to present, we see things from a different light which has just enriched our own marriage along the way,” said Deb. When it comes to fostering a marriage after the wedding, Roger and Deb encourage couples to continue to dedicate time to the relationship, specifically through marriage retreats. “That time dedicated to your relationship is l
Page 7
l
important. It might not always look like a retreat. But especially after kids and careers take over our lives, it’s so important to have dedicated time as a couple,” said Roger. Meet the Blaschkos Deacon Russ and Debbie, who will celebrate 40 years of marriage in September, started presenting in 1988. At that time, the couple presented on finances and career due to Deacon Russ’ background in banking. Today, they continue to give the career talk, but also speak about children and natural family planning, something they really have a passion for “because it’s healthy, effective, and a gift,” said Deacon Russ. When it comes to finances, the Blaschkos recommend and work with the couples through the idea of “family backgrounds” and how an individual’s family background may affect how a couple interacts with each other. The common theme of sacramental grace weaves throughout the Blaschkos’ presentations. “We invite them to ask for the grace of matrimony. A
April/May 2022
marriage is not easy. You need the grace of matrimony to survive the long haul,” said Deacon Russ. Like Roger and Deb, Deacon Russ and Debbie’s years in marriage ministry have also positively affected their family life. “I feel like this is the perpetual marriage class,” says Debbie. “Because we always have to go through our talks and update things, and then we’re forced to discuss things.” For Deacon Russ, the experience of marriage ministry always reminds him that his children are constantly watching their marriage. “They have been learning by how we interact, how we embrace each other, how we solve our problems,” he said. “All married couples should live their lives knowing their children are going to imitate the way they worked through marriage. If I live my marriage with joy and hope and reconciliation, I can hope my children will observe that and will do the same.” Editor's note: Couples interested in becoming a Marriage Program presenter should contact the Office of Family Life, cfier@dnu.org, (507) 233-5328.
