6.25.18

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EVERYDAY

06.25.2018 • Monday • M 1

ST. LoUIS PoST-dISPaTCH • EV3

DEAR ABBY

WHAT’S THE DIFF? Find six differences between the panels.

Open road calls to husband

Dear Headed • I can’t help thinking about how many widows

would give anything to share an adventure like that with their husband. I also don’t think leaving one’s spouse for a week qualifies as desertion. Many husbands and wives do it regularly to conduct their business. Perhaps if you return from one of your excursions with tales of how beautiful and interesting the road trip was, it will pique her interest. Dear Abby • My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. With every year that passes, I fall more in love with him. He’s a wonderful person who treats me very well. I could go on and on about how caring and considerate he is. However, when it comes to being intimate, I’m just not interested. I have known him for so long and know him so well that, for me, the “spark” is extinguished. In some ways, he almost feels like a brother, which makes it difficult to have sexual feelings. I tell him many times a day that I love him, because I do. I want him to know he’s my best friend

and I care deeply about him. We have tried role playing, games, sexy clothing, etc. — nothing helps me. I go through the motions when I must, because I know it is one of the ways he expresses his love for me. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I just want to know how I can feel excited about being intimate again. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. — EXTINGUISHED SPARKS Dear Extinguished • My suggestion would be to have a frank talk with your OB/GYN about this, and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist — a doctor who specializes in hormones. If, after a checkup, your hormone balances are what they should be, some sessions with a psychologist for you — and a sex therapist for both of you — might relight the spark that has fizzled. It’s worth a try. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.

TV MONDAY

CAROLYN HAX

Carolyn weighs in on ‘divine plan’ Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn • I’m curious if you believe or think things “happen for a reason” and “God/higher power only gives us what we can handle,” or are things just random? I ask because my mom told me some sad news about a relative. I would never be able to cope with that situation. Of course, I have had tough times and disappointments that were painful but eventually was able to get through them. What do you think about the random life events or “divine plan” events debate? — Seeking Perspective on Life Answer • Oh I think it’s a complete crapshoot. Randomness from birth to death, though we get our chance to weigh in by responding to the circumstances we’re given.

I also see the maxim you cite, that deities give us only what we can handle, as getting close to what actually happens but missing by a hair. I think the vast majority of the time, we find a way to handle whatever happens to us, because that’s what life is. We wake up to whatever we wake up to and then muddle through it. So I’d write it just like that: We tend to handle whatever the deities hand us. The other version puts our personal capabilities at the center and therefore is more yayfor-you inspiring, so use that one for the cat poster. To illustrate, I’ll take your example: From the distance of just hearing it from your mom, you regard the sad news of your relative as something you would never be able to cope with. But if it had become your news without warning, part of your life trajectory, then I’m betting heavily on

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you to have coped with it. Because that’s what humans do. Sometimes they don’t, obviously — some people break under the weight of what their lives become. But most endure and even find ways to feel joy again, and they dare to make new connections even after the severing of an old one causes nearly unbearable pain. Think of the conditions under which so many humans have lived and now live. Think of the losses we’ve borne. Would any survivor of a genocide have thought beforehand, “I’d be able to cope with that situation”? tellme@washpost.com

Differences: 1. Hand is moved. 2. Machine opening is smaller. 3. Hair is different. 4. Thumb is moved. 5. Box is taller. 6. Towel is longer.

Dear Abby • My wife and I have been married for 42 years. For the most part, we have had a good marriage. We raised two children, are helping to raise three grandchildren and still enjoy each other’s company. I am retiring shortly and looking forward to enjoying it. For years I have anticipated being free to travel the country and see things I didn’t have the time to see when I was employed. The problem is, I like the idea of seeing the country via road trip. My wife says she’s a “homebody” and doesn’t want to be “stuck in the car” for a week. Several friends have suggested I should take my road trips without my wife. I don’t really want to do that, and she says that if I did, she would feel deserted. How can I be a good husband and spend time with my wife, and not feel cheated out of something I have wanted to do for so long? — HEADED FOR THE OPEN ROAD

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CBS 4

Mom (cc)

Man With a Salvation: Fall Out. Plan (cc) News of the asteroid becomes public. (N)

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FOX 2 News at 9:00pm (N) (cc) Elementary A former sponsor asks Holmes for help. (N)

NBC Running Wild With 5 Bear Grylls: Derek Hough. (N) (cc)

American Ninja Warrior: Philadelphia City Qualifiers. (N) (cc)

PBS Antiques Roadshow 9 Bill Graham handbills. (N) (cc)

Antiques Roadshow Living St. Maurice Brazil Prender- Louis gast monotype.

CW 11

News 11 at 7:00PM (N) (cc)

METV The Andy 24 Griffith Show

Feast TVWater World.

Penn & Teller: Fool Us Whose Line Whose Line Magicians include Matt Is It Any- Is It Anyway? way? Marcy. (N) (cc)

The Andy Griffith Show

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.

WKRP in Hogan’s Hogan’s Cincinnati Heroes (cc) Heroes (cc) (cc)

ABC The Bachelorette Becca and the men travel to 30 Las Vegas. (N) (cc)

The Proposal Ten men vie for a chance at love. (9:01) (N)

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