5.22.19

Page 44

05.22.2019 • WedneSday • M 1

ST. LOUIS POST-dISPaTCH • EV3

EVERYDAY

DEAR ABBY

WHAT’S THE DIFF?

His online flirtations cross the line Dear Abby • My boyfriend and I have been a couple for three years. We live together and have an incredible relationship and an amazing sex life. A while ago, he was approached by a strange woman on social media. Through Hangouts he told her she was beautiful and that he was looking for the right woman to be with. Their communication lasted about a week. It has now happened again. He handed out his phone number, and this one has sent him videos of her dancing wearing next to nothing. When he talks to these other women, he tells them he lives alone. When I tell him this bothers me, he doesn’t get upset. He swears he has feelings for only me and no one else, and that he’s just having a little fun. Should I be worried? — Sharing Him in Ohio Dear Sharing Him • You should not only be worried, you should be out of there. You may have

invested three years in this person, but the sooner you divest yourself of him the better it will be for you. His actions show that his word cannot be trusted. He’s not only lying to these women, he is also lying to you. Dear Abby • I’m a 13-year-old girl, and I’m bisexual. Some of my closest friends know, but that’s it. Mom doesn’t know, and neither do my gramma or papa. I’m afraid if I tell them they’ll be disappointed in their little girl. Also, I’m growing up without a father, so that may have something to do with it. It took me a while to figure out that I was bisexual. It was at the beginning of seventh grade, when people were talking about being bi. So I guess I need to find out who I am as a person. When I told my friend I was bi and I liked her, she was shocked and surprised. I think she took it the wrong way and thought I was asking her out. That afternoon she came up to me and said, “I

like you, but only as a friend. I hope this doesn’t damage our friendship.” For me it did, and I haven’t gotten the courage to go talk to her about it again. I was only saying that to tell her how I FEEL, not to ask her out. — Insecure and Confused Dear Insecure and Confused • You are right that you need to find out who you are as a person. You are very young and still discovering. People do NOT become gay or bisexual because of conversations they hear in the seventh grade or because their fathers are absent. Sexual orientation is simply a part of who we are. You were clumsy about the way you “outed” yourself to your friend. Put aside your fears, talk to her again and explain that you weren’t asking her out. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

CAROLYN HAX

Daughter doesn’t blend with new family Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn • My ex-husband and I divorced when our daughter was 3. I went on to get remarried to a man who had two children from a previous marriage. We then had two kids of our own. My ex-husband is remarried but they don’t have any kids. Overall, we co-parent really well and we have equal time with our daughter. I am happy with this arrangement, but it’s becoming more obvious my daughter is not. She is 13. Her step-siblings are 11 and 9 and her sisters are 3 and 6 months. Despite our best efforts to blend our families, for some reason she just does not click with the other kids. She isn’t mean to them and wouldn’t bully them or anything like that, but she doesn’t really interact with them much beyond family group stuff. When she is with my ex-husband, she is able to spend more time with friends because his

house is closer to them. Besides that, she just seems happier without a lot of people and the chaos in our house. On the weekends she is here, I often go looking for her and find her reading by herself in her room while her siblings all play elsewhere. How can we blend our families more successfully? — Visited Answer • She could be in a non-blended family of five children (or two or 12) and still prefer to read in her room while her siblings play elsewhere. Certainly at age 13, where the urge to tell one’s family to go away is strong, and especially when three of the four of the siblings, if not all four, are on a completely different developmental planet. I don’t think there’s anything terrible about a kid this age being somewhat disengaged at home. We don’t learn to be resourceful when we get everything we want as we want it

when we want it. Her needs are for a quieter environment than your home provides, so she has found a way to meet them. Good for her. The only thing I would suggest is the basic raisinga-teenager survival pack: Be unobtrusive but watchful; find ways to spend time with her one-on-one (yes, I’m hilarious) that meet her where she is vs. where you want her to be; and keep an open mind about the best way to give her what she needs. It may be that it serves her better to tilt her schedule more toward being at her dad’s, especially given the proximity to friends ... but also don’t assume reading in her room equates to unhappiness. Like I said: watchful. Her feeling emotionally safe is the best encouragement for her to “blend” wherever she is. tellme@washpost.com

TV WEDNESDAY For complete channels and 24-hour program information, customize your own TV listings at STLtoday.com/tv. 5/22/19

7:00

7:30

FOX MasterChef Celebrity 2 Family Showdown (N) (cc)

8:00

8:30

Paradise Hotel: Episode 106. (N) (cc)

9:00

9:30

FOX 2 News at 9:00pm (N) (cc)

CBS The Amazing Race (N) The Amazing Race (N) SEAL Team Shaw rec4 (cc) (cc) ommends the team be split up. (N) Chicago Fire Severide Chicago P.D. Voight and NBC Chicago Med Dr. 5 Charles and Caroline set and Kidd work together. his team go off-book. (N) (cc) (N) plans. (N) PBS Nature Relationship 9 between humans and horses. (cc) CW 11

News 11 at 7:00PM (N) (cc)

METV The Andy 24 Griffith Show

The Andy Griffith Show

NOVA: Lost Viking Army. The Great Heathen army. (N)

Breakthrough: The Ideas That Changed the World (N) (cc)

My Last Days A mother’s battle with breast cancer. (N)

Jane The Virgin Alba and Jorge make an big decision. (N)

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.

WKRP in Hogan’s Hogan’s Cincinnati Heroes (cc) Heroes (cc) (cc)

ABC Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Single Par- Whiskey Cavalier: 30 Norman Lear’s All in the Family and ents (8:31) Czech Mate. (N) (cc) The Jeffersons ION 46

Blue Bloods A woman Blue Bloods A hostage Blue Bloods A mob atasks Frank for a favor. victim won’t press tacks Gormley outside charges. his home.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND SALE GOING ON NOW

s c i s s a l C r e Summ% OFF MSRP

UP TO

50

Outdoor Dining • Adirondack Chairs • Firepits • Outdoor Seating

Come In Now For Extra Savings during our most popular Annual Event!

Frontenac Store

Ellisville Summer Classics Store:

825 South Lindbergh 63131 • 314-993-5570 Mon., Wed., Thurs., Sat. 10:00-5:30 Tues. & Fri. 10:00-8:00 • Sun. 12:00-5:00

15977 Manchester Road 63011 636-527-7655 Mon-Sat. 10-6 • 1-5 Sunday

www.forshaws.com Quality Since 1871