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• • • 1 AM

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• • • 12 PM

SCENARIO 2: HOMEWORK I never did get back to sleep so i got up and started doing homework. Now I’m working away, trying to climb my way out of this hole of never ending work. I think this project is going to be fun to work on. Look how content I appear, just plugging away on my computer. I’m sitting up straight. What good posture! • • •

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• • • 1 PM

SCENARIO 2: MORE? Oh no, not again! It’s that squeaking, creaking noise from upstairs again. I don’t know how many times I have to say something. I’ve talked to them upstairs. I’ve talked to the landlord. The conversation goes like this: “Hey, I don’t want to bother you but I was wondering if I could talk to you about the noise coming from your apartment. It’s this loud squeaking, creaking noise that sounds like it may be a bed or a loose floorboard, or perhaps a handful of small children jumping on a trampoline. It’s directly above my bedroom and it lasts for hours and hours. I’m not sure why you have to move around so much, but if there’s anything you can do to stifle the noise I would appreciate it.” And the reply? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve never heard it.” • • •

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Knock knock knock. “Who’s there?!” “It’s the guy who lives directly below you.” “What do you want?” “Can you turn your TV down please?” “I don’t hear anything.” “Really, cause I can hear it from out here. Also I can hear it loud and clear downstairs in my apartment.” “I’m calling the police.” “Oh good, then I can tell them how your TV is always way too loud.” “You’re gonna be in like, so much trouble.”


Knock knock knock. “Hello, who is it?” “Hey, it’s me from downstairs again.” “Oh hi, what’s up?” “I don’t want this to become a hostile thing, but there’s this noise coming from your back room. It sounds like a loud squeaking or something, and I’m not sure if its a piece of furniture or the floor or what, but I was wondering if you could possibly make it stop. It happens all times of day sometimes for hours at a time. I’ve been woken up by it several times in the TABLE OF CONTENTS last week and it makes it extremely difficult P . 5 Scenario 1 to concentrate on my homework. It’s kind of P . 21 Scenario 2 P . 37 Scenario 3 driving me crazy.” P . 52 Techolo Typeface “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it could be, I’ve never heard it. I have a new roommate and he’s still moving his things in. I’ll talk to him about it.” “Okay, thanks.” • • •

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• • • 10 PM

SCENARIO 3: WATCHING TV A little time for some rest and relaxation. I’m gonna sit down and watch a movie. Ahh, this feels good. Don’t have to think. Don’t have to focus. Just relax and enjoy the show. Look how happy and relaxed I look. It’s gonna be a great night. • • •

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• • • 11 PM

SCENARIO 3: WATCHING TV I can’t hear a damned thing. Do they really have to play with that stupid little dog inside right now? Can’t they just take him for a walk and then put him to bed? I can’t do anything around here without being interrupted by these people. What is going on? • • •

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Please Shut Up  

A book about living with noisy upstairs neighbors

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