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May 2014 Vol 3 Issue 5


Staff Writers Our Departments •Health •Wellness •Business •Leisure •Lifestyle •Financial •Coaching •Nutrition •Fashion

Nassim Sana

Clarissa Burt

Melanie Albert

Ian Percy

Bret Wilson

Eboni Lacey

Peggy Marshall Cathy Droz & Cathy Burford


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Health

Take control of your health through diet and lifestyle changes. Our health is a reflection of the way we feed and maintain our mind and body. There are choices we make every day that have effects on our current state and the health and function we will enjoy in the future. Educate yourself about the best ways to help yourself to a healthier happier you. We are unique and have individual needs for eating, exercise, lifestyle and social interaction. You can use various diet and exercise programs, but in the end, you must adapt a healthy lifestyle and stay with it. The best program is the beginning of a new paradigm and not simply a get through it and then forget it proposition. Use the program to learn how, what and when to eat to get your body’s best response. The healthier programs provide you with guidelines to adopt into your daily routines. Monitor your response through a variety of health factors such as weight loss, reduced blood pressure, less inflammation, better digestion, reduced joint and muscle pain, mood and energy improvement.

See More Health Related Articles By Dr. Bret at: www.discovertheregion.com

Photo by: Malyshchyts Viktar

Health Through Diet and Lifestyle Changes

Consider consulting your doctor to perform a health examination and screening blood tests to determine your numbers as a baseline before and after the program to help monitor your response. Discuss with your doctor any health concerns that may need monitored or may affect the program you choose. Programs will inform you as to foods to emphasize and those to limit or avoid. Drink plenty of water. Increase physical activity and exercise. Get adequate sleep. Initiate a program with a commitment to follow the program for at least 10 to 30 days to yourself an opportunity to see the response of your body. Remember the main goal is to learn what your body needs to be at its best and help you to modify diet and lifestyle to a healthier level.


Health Here are some examples of diet and lifestyle programs to consider: DASH Diet- this is a diet developed to improve blood pressure. The acronym DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/he art/hbp/dash/new_dash.pdf Daniel Diet - This diet looks at the mind body and spirit connection and its effect on our health. It takes inspiration the Bible and modern day nutrition research. http://www.danielsdiet.com/daniels_diet. htm

“Let food be thy medicine & medicine be thy food” - Hippocrates These are just a few examples of the types of programs you may find helpful in your journey to health. If you read through all of them you will see there are certain common features to a healthier diet. The program is a template to help you adopt better habits. Review them and others to find one that makes sense to you and give it a try. Enlist the help of your doctor to screen for any health concerns that you need to know. Then commit to a better diet and lifestyle that help you be healthier and happier.

Purification Diet - The 21 day program includes diet modifications and supplements. There evidence that it helps stabilize blood sugar levels and reduce inflammation. The diet and supplements work together to help with detoxification Yours in Health, and support your general health. http://www.standardprocess.com/Products /Literature/Patient-Purification-Program- Bret A. Wilson, DC Guide www.drbretwilson.com Elimination Diet –If you suspect you may suffer from food allergies or food intolerances, this is a program to help you clean up your diet and identify foods that are having a negative effect on your health. http://www.precisionnutrition.com/elimina tion-diet


Wellness Eat the Right Fats Fats are Essential While the media has made us afraid of fats, they are actually required in order for our bodies to function properly. For years during the low fat, no fat craze I thought fats were bad and I stopped eating some of my favorite foods, nuts and olives. Now I’ve learned that fats are good for us and that our bodies require about 30% fats in our diet each and every day, for each and every meal.

Monounsaturated Fats

adamia, pecan, pistachio

Eating the right fats helps to:

Polyunsaturated Fats

Omega-3 rich seeds

Get to Know Healthy Plant Fats Olives, avocados, nuts and some seeds are full of the healthy monounsaturated fats; walnuts are full of healthy polyunsaturated fats. Hemp seeds are important for nutrition as they are a complete protein. Good sources of Favorite Fish Fats: Cold Water Fatty Fish omega-3 fatty acids are flaxseeds, chia seeds and cold water fish, such as wild Alaskan sockeye salmon.

Buy a Few Deep Green Avocados Avocados are primarily monounsaturated fat which is beneficial for heart health, reduces bad cholesterol and speeds up metabolism. Avocados are a nutritional powerhouse: High in fiber, potassium, Vitamin C, Vitamin K, folate and B6.

Melanie Albert

If you have never tried an avocado, now is the time. I did not even like avocados until a few years ago. One of my brothers made a simple fresh avocado salsa with his home-grown yellow tomatoes and fresh garlic. Ever since that day, when I first tasted the delicious avocado salsa, I loved it and teach the recipe to everyone in my hands-on nutrition cooking workshops with former NFL football players, doctors, kids and adults of all ages.


Wellness Selecting the Best Avocado

Simple Ways to Enjoy an Avocado

deep green and are deep green when they arrive at the store.

it’s not so ripe. If it’s darker and blackish, it’s riper. To find the perfect ready-to-eat avocado, find one that’s a little soft, but not mushy. It may take a little practice.

naise

mix in minced garlic and eat an avocado as a quick snack

with an apple or banana and check the ripeness for the next 2-3 days. It’s ready to eat when it’s black and soft. refrigerator and eat it in the next few days.

EXPERIENCE NUTRITION Avocado Salsa Recipe Wow! This simple to make avocado salsa (or guacamole) is the best. Add it to your tailgating parties, make it for a snack or lunch, or serve it at a BBQ. It’s so delicious that you will want to eat it every week. Full of good-for-you fats, fresh veggies and a squeeze of lemon, enjoy your avocado salsa with cucumbers, carrots or celery. Ingredients

Simple Steps to Make Avocado Salsa 1. Chop & mix all ingredients 2. Enjoy!

“Enjoy Food & Life. 90 Ways 90 Days Step-by-step action plan for healthy eating & living,” by Melanie Albert and featuring former NFL players. : www.9ways90days.com

Make your Avocado Salsa and share your photos on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/9ways90days


Infinite Possibilities That forced employees into one of two strategies: score themselves exceptionally high allowing the manager to ‘bring them down’ (the best strategy if your manager was a jerk); or score themselves low to the point of groveling, thus forcing the manager to ‘bring them up’ (the best strategy if your manager had a parenting style). Surely you remember this dilemma. Eventually employees got tired of doing their manager’s job for them and, at lunch one Friday, asked their buddies what they should put down on the evaluation form. Presto! 360? evaluations! All this to say that the birth of this process was not exactly motivated by a concern for the spiritual development of humankind. I admit it – I start with a negative attitude. So let’s go on to what I think are the real problems.

360°Evaluations Will Take You In Circles http://ianpercy.com/index.html

While I now do mostly keynote presentations, this assignment got me thinking back to my very first seminar. The truth is I conducted a seminar before I had even been to one – where I got the nerve, I don’t know. Thank goodness they didn’t videotape it! The year was 1970 and the topic was “Effective Performance Appraisals.” It was a two-day-er, complete with handouts and doughnuts. Never heard any reports about people’s lives being changed because of it, but I thought it was pretty hot stuff at the time. I picked the topic because every manager back then hated doing performance appraisals. And not much has changed. These days, of course, If you conduct 360s by the book, the employee managers talk about doing “360s” – a term stolen from skateboard suggests a dozen people who are in a position to competitions, where you put yourself into a spin before crashing offer an opinion on their performance. The into the pavement. This concept has always bothered me but I’ve supervisor selects six or so from that list to actually never figured out why – until now. In case this magazine was sent “fill in the form.” Problem No. 1: This is like asking to you by accident and you don’t know what I am talking about, your mother to write a character reference. Who are here is a definition I found in my files (from where I do not you going to put on your list? Not the customer who know):360? feedback is the process by which performance threatened decapitation if you ever stepped foot in evaluations of an employee are collected from multiple sources their building again, that’s for sure! Well, 360 including subordinates, peers, supervisors, vendors, customers…” devotees will say, such negative feedback will be etc., etc. The theory is that the person under scrutiny receives known by the supervisor and he will bring it up. Fine much more valuable feedback because it comes from more than – but now we are back full circle to where we one source, is more ‘objective’, focuses on actual skills, is more started. Practitioners claim that by involving many truthful because it is anonymous, helps build communication people, the evaluation will be more objective, with between subordinate and supervisor, and so on – to all of which I much less chance of personal bias or profiling. boldly say – Nonsense! Remember, this got started by someone Problem No. 2: There is no such thing as an who hated doing evaluations. He/she abdicated the responsibility ‘objective’ evaluation of a human being, unless you with the brilliant but lazy idea of getting the employee to do a are measuring their weight – and even that is iffy. “self-evaluation” first. And, if it were possible to be objective, why would you want it? If I want feedback on what you think of my articles – would I want you to objectively count


Infinite Possibilities Does that inte

The performance feedback is more honest because it is anonymous. Problem No. 4: And this is a plus? You might as well send your Senator a petition with no signatures. Do you see the sadness here? How did we get to the point where we can only be “honest” with each other when we are hidden? I suggest that this is the most dis-honest experience possible. What manager would be encouraged with the fact that his team talks more honestly when he is not in the room? I am not at all disputing the truth of the situation – I am saying this reality is a problem to be remedied not a management tool to be enshrined in policy. Personally, I believe that most personal performance and organizational problems can be solved by the truth. But that truth must be spoken in love and openness and honesty between people who actually care about each other’s development and effectiveness. I also believe people should openly and without anonymity express appreciation and admiration for each other’s giftedness, diversity and accomplishments. It’s called communication and it is how you build community. Please, don’t try 360s on your skateboard without knowing what you are doing. And don’t blindly implement 360? evaluations just because Fortune 500 companies do it that way. You just might end up going in circles and miss out on the fulfilling the very purpose That’s what customers want for sure, some good ol’ American of performance evaluations – helping people grow in passion, purpose and performance. objectivity. We’ve all gone into a bank and said to a teller, “Please treat me objectively.” The best doctors are those with no bedside manner at all because they are more objective. But there I go, almost getting started…The feedback will be more comprehensive and useful because it comes from a variety of perspectives and is presented to the employee in an integrated way. Problem No. 3: The multi-perspective idea is actually an excellent one – it’s the integrated part that bothers me. Let’s say you are scored “1” by one peer, and “10” by another. Does that integrate to “5?” What possible use is that? That’s as useful as a weather report telling you the temperature in the US is 52?. Knowing that a customer experiences your work in one way, while peers experience it in another way is very useful to your development. But what does that have to do with integration? Keeping the feedback un-integrated is what keeps it useful. And don’t forget all this feedback is “anonymous” which takes us to Problem Four. the words? In all the emails I have received from readers, not one has done that. They have responded on the basis of their situation, sharing their ideas and experiences. Some love what I write, and some are trying to. That’s why connecting with a specific reader is so gratifying. Subjectivity is what life is all about, it’s what makes you a wonderful you! We foolishly cling to the myth of objectivity because subjectivity scares us half to death. I mean think about it…managers and subordinates actually having a human connection. There would be no end to the repercussions! When someone in a precious moment murmurs, “Honey, how much do you love me?” are you going to answer “7.2?” No! You are going to drool something about the breadth and depth of the Universe. And don’t even get me started on the foolish strategy of trying to treat your customers objectively!


Coaching I believe that there is an art form to healthy and effective communication; it’s like a painting a picture, consisting of many colors, shades and forms. It can be raw, crude or it can be filled with wisdom and thought. It doesn’t matter what language we speak or what culture we come from as human beings the way in which we communicate is universal. We all use the same techniques to communicate with. Communication skills that we utilize are so natural to us that we don’t even realize how we affect our environment. It is important to remember that the words

I can read a person’s facial expression and make a comment based on that. Again some of it may be true and some based on my assumption. The point I’m making is that most of our communication skills are so ingrained in us that we don’t even think about them; it’s second nature to us. What happens is when I get too comfortable in my communication approach then I begin to have a monologue instead of a dialogue. You may think it funny but I bet you do that too.

Yes, You can have Healthy Com www.findbeautyintruth.com we choose to use have immense power behind them. Most of the time we may not even realize it but through verbal and non-verbal communication we can triumph or destroy situations or relationships. In my opinion we create our lives with how we choose to communicate with our world. I was raised with 2 different languages and 2 different cultures. Why am I pointing this out? Simple, because I have come to recognize that no matter how happy, sad or angry I am, I will use the same body language and same expressive words to convey my thoughts and feelings as the person standing next to me. I’m not any more unique in my way of communication than someone from another culture or country. Sure the body language gestures may vary a bit, but as I explained before most of the way we communicate is universal. So when I see someone standing in front of me with their arms tightly crossed, I’m going to assume they are disinterested or upset with me. The same goes for our facial expressions;

What I mean is, when someone says something or does something, I’m making an assumption based on my previous thoughts and past experiences with that person or other unrelated situations. Yes, I said it the past, that’s our real pitfall bringing the past in the present. When you’re having a conversation with someone it’s important to be fully present with them, and not to formulate conclusions in your head. The key here is to be objective, be present, and listen without bringing your own agenda into the conversation.

(info@bntlifecoaching.com), (www.findbeautyintruth.com), (www.FaceBook.com/Bntlifecoaching) (www.linkedin.com/in/NassimSana) (http://twitter.com/bntlifecoac)


If you want to be heard, understood, and respected you have to create a healthy space so the other person gives the same back to you. In that healthy space you are creating it’s important to try to relate to the other person, and not make them feel wrong in the way they think or feel. The minute you give the attitude that my way is right and your way is wrong, you have killed the dialogue. As people we generally love to be attached to what we want, win or get our own way, but by doing that we continue to isolate ourselves. The key is to be committed to the goal of the conversation and not to how we want things to be.

My recommendation is to create a space of integrity that will help you have a clear commitment to the issue you’re working through. Not only is it important to have integrity with the words you are creating but using mindfulness and wisdom will take you along way. The last suggestion I have to offer is always step back, assess and be willing to ask open-ended questions that are related to the topic and not your own motive of getting someone to agree with you. It’s also important to allow yourselves to be more willing to honestly express your thoughts. Finally, put yourselves in the other person’s shoes, truly listen to where they are coming from, why are they thinking and feeling a certain way, never ever assume, and give the other person the room to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Remember your goal is to have a dialogue not a monologue.

Artworks

mmunication in Any Language


Coaching Constructing Your Reality As you read the title for May’s blog you are probably wondering where I could possible go with a title like that. Actually, it’s a chapter in Shawn Achor’s book “Before Happiness” which is called Reality Architecture. I have been a fan of Shawn Achor since we began using his work from “The Happiness Advantage” as part of a culture build activity for our company.

In building success skills as a reality architect, Achor advises us to choose the most valuable reality. Our ability to recognize that there alternative versions of a situation and focusing on the one that will take us into greater happiness is the first skill to build. This means that we “get to” choose what we want to focus on, we are not restricted by a person or situation.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. -Viktor Frankl

An example of this comes from “Man’s Search for Meaning” . Victor Frankl chronicled his experiences in a World War II concentration camp. As a therapist, he found that when inmates focused on the meaning of life they were able to tolerate their circumstances better which led to Now let’s go back to reality construction. It’s increased longevity. As human beings we a difficult concept to wrap our minds around assign meaning to what happens to us-the and yet through our thoughts and beliefs we question is whether the meaning we are construct our version of reality. If any of assigning takes us into a positive future or you are parents or have siblings you know a negative past. that when presented with the facts about a given situation, the facts typically represent two different parties interpretations of what happened. That’s exactly what reality construction is-how we interpret what is happening in our world. Understanding that we actually choose our own interpretation of events is extremely freeing. The way that I differentiate between the two books is that “The Happiness Advantage” speaks to the “why” we need to focus on happiness and “Before Happiness” provides a few more “whys” and a plethora of “hows”.


Coaching

Chip Conley in “Emotional Equations” also discusses the impact of exploring the meaning of situations of our lives in his equation “Despair = SufferingMeaning”. When we are able to focus on the meaning of what is happening and create our reality from that understanding we begin to minimize our angst and are able to move through the event more quickly. Additionally, when we can examine our situations from the

In “Loving What Is” Byron Katie guides the use of a turnaround to accept what is happening in our lives that can also be used for labeling. She has a four step turnaround that uses the following process: “Is it true? Is it really true? How do you feel when you think that way? How would you feel if you didn’t think that way?” Continuing to ask ourselves whether the label takes us into greater success or actually holds us back is a great way to insert changing our thinking into the reality construction.

Another skill building action that Achor recommends is to train your brain to attach more positives to any given situation. Believe it or not, our brains are actually programmed to identify negatives as an early survival mode. However, since we are not being chased by dinosaurs, we might want to consider how searching for positives in a situation can be an advantage for us. Much like Byron Katie’s turnaround, attaching positives perspective of what is being learned and what can be to what is currently happening improves the gained, we just might discover important tidbits of brain’s flexibility and significantly increases our serenity that can be carried through to other ability both find and pursue the most valuable encounters. Although as a coach, I would not reality. An activity that aligns with attaching recommend that clients start with re -framing the positives to situations is to keep a daily log of what most traumatic circumstances in their lives, however, happened and words you use to describe there is an opportunity for most individuals to choose situations. Ask yourself if you have more positive re-frame the more mundane situations in their lives. words than negative at the end of the day. Remember inching along with this process is Other authors have provided additional guidance to PROGRESS! helping us construct our reality. In “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life” , Wayne Dyer advises us Achor closes his chapter on reality architecture to let go of labeling. Labeling often stems from with several tidbits of wisdom. The one I want to judgment about our present circumstance. We label close this blog with is “remind yourself that you to define what is happening but to also make sense of have the power to change”. As we engage with what is happening. How we interpret a given situation others and with specific situations on a daily basis, will lead to whether the label is positive or negative. remember that you have the power to change your reality both in what you say about the Many times the labeling that we apply to a given people/situation and how you react to them. situation comes from habit. Changing our thoughts requires us to be proactive rather than reactive which To Your Success! Dr. Peggy will take us out of habitual responses to people and situations.


Fashion By Madeline Ulivieri for Clarissa International Media .

Wink Natural Cosmetics is a hypoallergenic formula that is made with the finest all-natural ingredients that are proven to elongate your lashes and even promote growth as well. This magic formula is free of parabens, sulfate, artificial fragrances and dyes. So there is no need to worry about waking up with swollen, irritated eyes. On average, this revolutionary product grows 57 new eyelashes and lash length increases by 13.4%. Wait, it gets better, it only takes as few as 8 to 12 weeks for your lash transformation to take place.

Founder of Wink Natural Cosmetics Me Long luscious lashes have been the latest beauty trend. Applying fake eyelashes can be frustrating, itchy and an overall sticky situation. Chemicals in mascara and eyelash extension glue can strip away the nutrients from those long lashes of yours. Recently, the American Academy of Ophthalmology advised us lash junkies to kick our habits due to recent findings. The extension procedure and glue has caused various eye infections and swelling from bacterial and fungal infections. Don’t worry, because there is an alternative that blows these dangerous and nasty eyelash extensions out of the water. Let me introduce you fashionistas to Wink.

Now you may be questioning who created this fabulous product the beauty gods? The CEO and founder of Wink Natural Cosmetics is shockingly an undergraduate senior at MIT, Megan Cox. I was blown away when I learned all about this small town girl’s story. Megan is currently finishing up her last semester at MIT studying Operations Research at the Sloan School of Management. Growing up, Megan would never have guessed that she would become a successful entrepreneur, all before she even had her college diploma. Megan has always had a versatile amount of interests, none of which included beauty or cosmetics. Megan’s interest for cosmetics all began in college. When the news story broke in her hometown, Bedford, Indiana her high school teachers and classmates were


Fashion

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confused. She would receive texts saying, “I thought you’d be curing cancer or sending a monkey to Jupiter, but good for you! You’re doing great things.” Megan’s interests have varied from dance to raising chickens, but the key connection is that when she picks up a hobby, she completely immerses herself until she becomes an expert. Megan created Wink to solve her one beauty problems. Like many of us, she was paying for eyelash extension fills every two weeks and spending hundreds of dollars in the process. Extensions left her natural lashes permanently shortened. She tried serums, but those failed her as well. So she sought out to create her own.

egan Cox Is A Role Model For Young Women There are new challenges every day in a start-up company. Some days everything goes wrong and you’ll make thousand dollar mistakes, but just remember to breathe, do your best and trust your judgment.” Megan expressed that it is vitally important that more women join the entrepreneurship community to create more role models for young women. She hopes to be a role model for other young women in the future one day. In the words of this smart, sassy, and innovative fashionista, Ms. Cox is an inspiration to young women, students “all I can do is join the movement that I fully believe in.” and aspiring entrepreneurs. Her advice to others looking to make their dreams reality is “don’t be afraid to take risks. If you want to be successful, Check out Megan’s all-natural eyelash and eyebrow you’ll need to be creative. growth enhancer at www.winknaturalcosmetics.com or Facebook page at facebook.com/WinkNaturalCosmetics. She used all the money she had saved since birth to start-up Wink. Throughout the startup process Megan met with mentors, business partners and potential investors. The process was not easy, but well worth it for her. She is now working on a second product that is a 2-in-1 eye serum that brightens dark circles with the long-lasting effects of anti-aging to prevent crow’s feet.

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Dating in 2014

uldissprogis.com

We learn pretty early on as women that we must defend ourselves. We have to be confident and we have to show these men who we are and what we want. But, sometimes there’s a backlash. If you do any of these 10 things to men, the only person you’ll end up with is yourself. If you really want to try to get and keep a good man, the first step is looking in the mirror and realizing what you can do better. 1. Stop throwing things in his face

We as women love to do things for our man. Regardless if it’s cooking his favorite meal or buying him a little gift, we love the feel of catering to him, doing things that make our men happy. BUT, it does no good if you are going to throw it back in his face later. If you do something out of the kindness out of your heart leave it at that. Stop telling him how much you do for him when you’re in an argument. That makes the gifts feel like a trick and it 4. Stop bragging to your friends makes those gifts less thoughtful, which will hinder the relationship. No man is perfect. B. No friend wants to hear you obsess over him all the time or brag about how great he is. Aren’t all men great in the beginning? Bragging about him to your friends 2. Stop going below the belt will constantly leave the girls wondering, “What’s the catch? What’s wrong with him?” This is just as bad as complaining to Most men have the one button that will set them off. It your friends because your friends won’t get a realistic underwill piss them off and make the argument even worse. Once you know what your man’s button is, stop pushing standing of the relationship. Then when Mr. “Right” does mess up, your friends won’t give you accurate advice. They it. It will do no good. In an argument, argue about what will be baffled that some one so perfect could mess up so bad. is going on, don’t throw low blows just to make yourself Some bad advice could eventually follow. feel better. 3. Stop complaining to your friends

5. Stop using sex as a manipulation tool

You should always have one or two friends that you can tell everything to regarding your relationship. But, remember that it should be one or two. Complaining to all of your friends about how cheap he was or that he forgot your birthday, will just make your friends’ perception about him a negative one and could hinder how you feel about him. It’s important that your friends get a realistic understanding of your relationship. So if your giving up info it needs to be everything: the good, bad and the ugly.

Sex is supposed to be something special and sacred. It should also be something to enhance your relationship on a physical and an emotional level. But, when you use sex as a way to manipulate a man, it emasculates him. Once you are in a relationship and know that he’s truly into you, there is no need to use sex as a way to get what you want. If he pisses you off, of course you don’t have to have sex with him, because you don’t want to. If you are waiting until marriage or decide to become celibate because of religious purposes or a new outlook on your fine, then that is also fine.


That is your right and decision as a woman. However, you can’t start having sex with a man and then stop for months or weeks because you’re hung up on something small he did that made you mad. It’s also wrong to say things like “If you want to have sex with me, you will do this.” A man has to want to make you happy. There’s nothing you can do to make him. Your man might follow suite in the beginning, but keep in mind that if you are not having sex with your man, some other woman will.

keepcalmandkeepyourself.com

Dating in 2014

6. Stop dwelling on the past

8. Stop emasculating him; he’s the man, you’re Men hurt women and women hurt men. It’s a terrible cycle. Yet,not both women and men are capable of change. If you decide to stayMake sure that you are making your man feel like a man. with your man after he’s hurt you, then that means you’ve decidedLet him do manly things like take the trash out, clean the to move forward with him and stop dwelling on everything he’scar and be the handyman. If you’re further along in life done to hurt you in the past. Taking what he’s done months orthen he is (i.e. you have your degree and he doesn’t, or years ago and throwing it in his face will only cause pain to theyou make more money then him) let him know that he is relationship. There’s no way you can move forward the king of the castle. Let him lead and be comfortable

jeffhendricks.net

if you are constantly obsessing about the past. If the past trulyenough to follow him. Be smart of course and always stay hurts you, then you must move on without him. But if you decideone step ahead. Let him make some decisions, but be to stay with him, then you made up your mind to move forward.ready for a backup plan just in case. You have to let go of the past to do so. You don’t have to forget it, 9. Stop treating him like he’s your son but you’ve got to move on. It’s a difference between catering and mothering. He’s a grown man and he doesn’t need you to make decisions 7. Stop nagging him for you or give him a curfew. He also doesn’t need you to Men understand actions not words. But, we women love to talk. manage his finances of give him an allowance. However, if we stop talking so much and show strong actions, then men will understand. Nagging and complaining about the The more you start to act like his mom, the more he will same things over and over will just make things worse. It will start to act like your son and the less he will start to act make us angry and make the men tune us out even more, which like your man. will make us even angrier. Say how you feel once or twice and if 10. Stop forcing him to be with you things don’t change, find an action that will help express how you feel. If he’s constantly out late at night, then don’t be there To quote one of my favorite relationship experts Demewhen he gets home. After a couple times, he will for sure get the tria Lucas, “you can’t keep a man that doesn’t want to be kept.” It’s not possible. Sure he might like you and enmessage. joy spending time with you, but if you’re constantly asking him to define the relationship, maybe there is no relationship to define. If you’re dating someone, keep it simple and stop forcing the situation to be more then what it is. In due time, you will find out if he really wants you long term. Remember that some people will be in your life for a season and a very small few amount will be in your life for a lifetime. Only time will tell. If you be patient and be honest with yourself, you will know what kind of person he is.


Grandparents on the Go You will find a fantastical array of goodies in their store; everything from chocolatecovered pretzels to French Mints ( #1 seller), pecan caramels, chocolates with every filling imaginable, novelties, and even taffy. For your special occasions they can create virtually anything you have in mind. And for those who have everything, you can purchase a 500 pound chocolate Santa, a 250 pound Valentine heart, or a 23 pound Easter Bunny. The sky is the limit at Cerreta’s. Imagine having 3,000 to 6,000 pounds of chocolate to process every day – would you know where to begin? Luckily for all of us, the Cerreta family does. That’s right – the Cerreta family, of Cerreta Candy Company fame in downtown Glendale, AZ has been creating the finest local candies and chocolates for over 21 years. However, the family’s history in the candy business began over 40 years ago, with Jim Cerreta Sr. Their factory, located at 5345 W Glendale Ave, Glendale, AZ offers visitors not just the finest confections around, but allows visitors to learn all about the candymaking business. They offer factory tours at 10am and 1pm every weekday. Don’t worry if you can’t stop by for the tours, they have self-guided tours available during their business hours. These tours give you a glimpse into the complex art of candy creation. Even your youngest grandchildren will be fascinated by the sights and smells in that building! They choose a few children for a hands-on candy project during the tour, and for an additional fee you can even attend ‘Chocolate Pizza Camp’- yummy!

If you go: Cerreta Candy Company 5345 W. Glendale Ave. Glendale, AZ 85301 www.Cerreta.com

623.930.9000 M-F 8am-6pm Closed Sundays

Cerreta Chocolates


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May 2014 The Focus