The Focus â€œLiving an authentic life begins at the end of your comfort zone.â€?
Are You Letting Familiar Dysfunction Sabotage Your Relationships? Everyday in my practice I see the effects of unhealthy relationships. We do not create unhealthy relationships by accident. It takes many years of conditioning to develop, what I call, familiar dysfunction. This is considered your “normal,” the patterns that you respond to in an unconscious way. The behaviors, beliefs, emotions, and choices we use on a daily basis have become automatic for most of us. We have inherited these from our family dynamic and these daily influences become entrenched within us, affecting all aspects of our lives, including how we manage our relationships. Often, these patterns we learned were not the best for repeating.
Every family has their share of dysfunction; there is no perfection in the human condition. I ask you to consider what your familiar dysfunction is that could be inhibiting your relationships? The first step toward building a healthy relationship is accepting each other. It is important to accept the fact that your way may not be the best way and that your influences from your past have definitely shaped who you are today. This opens the door for you to begin to make a shift in your mindset, one that will encourage growth and a conscious change.
Every family has their share of dysfunction; Secondly, we must become more mindful. Mindfulness moves us into a state of awareness. Awareness is where insight meets truth. Through this process, we move from acceptance into the first step of action. Often people get confused by what “action” looks like. Action is not about making radical changes that make your life more difficult. It is about pausing and using the awareness in the moment to reflect upon your actions and thoughts. The bigger changes take shape as you practice mindfulness.
Thirdly, we must evaluate and take stock in what is happening. This is what I call the discovery period. Are you capable of taking the pause and using those mindful moments for exploration? Are you discovering what is really happening under the surface and why? This requires you to ask yourself the tough questions and be okay with whatever comes to the surface. This is how transformation takes form. Through this process we grow and become more enlightened in our daily lives. I urge you to ponder some of these questions as you enter your phase of discovery: Why am I overreacting? What is underneath my initial feeling?
Healthy Relationships C.G. Jung Are my thoughts realistic? Do I continually see a pattern here? What makes me feel stuck? When am I not standing in my power? If my higher self had a voice, what would it say? Growth and transformation is not a quick process. It happens slowly with conscious, deliberate action. In order to create healthy, functioning relationships, we must put in the work on ourselves. We must be curious enough to want to change. You always have choices, even if it seems like you do not. The choice to create a new script, a new story, a new relationship is yours. It is never too late to rewrite your life.
SHIFT YOUR MINDSET
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Love is the hastening gravitation of spirit towards spirit, and body towards body, in the joy of creation.
“So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship - it's actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing
CONNECT WITH JULIANNA 602.826.6790 I would like to share a bit of my personal journey into my intuitive self. One of the many questions I get from clients is, “How did you start doing intuitive readings?” I always begin my answer by saying I am not gifted and you can also do this work. Often, I get some eye rolling and a bit of chuckling, as if they hardly believe me. We are all pre-wired with the gift of intuition, but not all of us are ready to unwrap the present. I came into my intuitive sense in my mid-thirties. I was born extremely sensitive and thus, I was definitely ready in this lifetime to move forward on the path of deepening this sense. It was a journey; one that took time and practice, but well worth the exploration. I completed my masters in counseling and soon after, I began my path toward self-discovery. I had no idea at the time what this journey would entail, not to mention how scary and out of control my life was about to be. I had three young children and my husband was busy building a business. Life was a bit busy and the timing of everything seemed a little overwhelming. While I was completing my internship in counseling, I had an amazing supervisor at the time that asked me one simple question that hit a nerve deep within me. This one question was the impetus that pushed me off the cliff into the abyss.
Julianna Lyddon, MC is a Certified Life Coach with a master’s degree in marriage, family and child counseling. He asked, “What if you were to remain still?” I laughed aloud and said, ”What?! I can stay still! I love to relax.” He quickly replied, “No, I mean really still.” Right then, at that Julianna is an author, clinivery moment, something within me came alive and shot through me like a bow and arcal Heart-Centered Hypnorow, connecting me to a path that I knew I had no choice but to take. therapist, teacher and spiritual advisor. I left his office and clearly remember saying to myself, “I want to know what it’s like to become one with my spiritual self.” Oh boy! There was the push and then the fall into nowhere. It was as if the spirit world was just waiting for my consent and off I went. I fully fell apart! My mind would not stop spinning, I could not sleep, the anxiety was racing and I did not know what to do. Immediately, I desperately tried to take it all back. I realized, after some time, that nobody could really help me through this. I had to go through my own dark night of the soul and come out on the other side. It truly was a solo journey; I did not have a spiritual advisor or guide who was directed to me. I felt so alone and isolated, yet I felt this power within me, this knowing that there was more for me to harness. I gradually started to get my balance and slowly, ever so slowly, I was directed to read anything and everything. When I would go to the library and bookstore, books would fall from the shelves and I instantly knew that was the one I needed at the time. The books provided me with profound knowledge, but the driving force throughout my journey was what I like to call, my invisible umbilical cord. This invisible umbilical cord, also known as intuition, never led me astray. It spoke to me in the dark of the night, or in the quiet hours of the morning, directing me where to go and the next steps to take to help me become one with spirit. Through listening and trusting this inner voice, the next phase of my journey unfolded and my purpose became even clearer. The trials I faced in those two years were difficult to say the least, but have helped to shape me into the guide I am today. Next issue I will continue my journey with you.
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Published on Apr 2, 2014
Julianna Lyddon, MC. Relationships evolve and change over time. Keeping up with the changes can lead to challenges that are sometimes hard...