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The Dark King’s Labyrinth By Michael Brawley

Michael Brawley 101 Ludlow Street 917-647-7833 mbrawley@sva.edu


INT. LINCOLN SQUARE THEATER - NIGHT PHIL and GWEN are first in line. GWEN Phil...Phil, you seriously need to calm down. PHIL Calm down? Gwen. Do you even know what movie we are about to see? GWEN No. No idea. You’ve told me what it is a dozen times and I have to say, I still don’t get it. PHIL Shh. Don’t say such foolish things. GWEN Oh my god. Also, I cannot believe I’ve been standing here for two hours because you just had to be first in line. PHIL Look, picking the right seat is an important part of seeing a movie. If you don’t find the perfect spot it completely diminishes the experience. GWEN And where is the perfect spot? PHIL The middle middle. GWEN I...what? I don’t understand. PHIL Patience, Sam Flynn. All of your questions will be answered soon. Gwen looks away from Phil. It is quiet for a few seconds. GWEN Oh, I’m sorry, are you waiting for me to react to a line from a movie I hate?

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2. PHIL Hate? What...you said you loved it. GWEN I lied. I’m sorry. We’re married. I can tell you now. PHIL Shunned. For 2 minutes. That’s what’s happening now. CUT TO: BRIAN AND LEON

BRIAN and LEON are in the middle of the line. BRIAN Ugh. What time is it? LEON It is 7:55. BRIAN Ugh! Brian takes out his phone. LEON What, did you think I was lying. Do you think I would make up the time to screw with you? BRIAN No, that’s not why. But if it were, it’s completely justified. LEON Any support to that? BRIAN Two weeks ago. You reset my alarm and I got to my English class an hour and a half late. LEON Oh yeah...that was funny. BRIAN I stepped in dog shit. I was wearing slippers. LEON And that’s all it takes for you not to trust me?

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3. BRIAN Anyway, I’m not checking the time. I’m seeing if she texted me back yet. LEON Why would she text you? She dumped you not 12 hours ago...wait, did you send her a text? BRIAN Maybe. LEON What did you write? BRIAN It’s a non-issue. LEON Let me see it. BRIAN Fine.

Brian gives Leon his phone. Leon scrolls through it and reads the text message. LEON Hey Julie, at the movies in case you were wondering. love you. lol jk lol. Not. But yes. jk lol. BRIAN Problem? LEON I want to hit you so hard right now. BRIAN What’s wrong with that? We’re still friends. It’s all good. LEON Don’t you dare try and bring back ’It’s all good’. That was a horrible week for everyone. Look, men and woman who are or were attracted to one another can’t be friends. If we learned anything from When Harry Met Sally, it’s that.

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4.

BRIAN You said we would never mention we watched that together. LEON You know you had a great time. BRIAN She’ll answer back. LEON We’ll see. BRIAN Where’s Cyrus? He’d back me up. LEON He’s on his way. Oh and he’s bringing some friends with him. CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE SCOTT and CHLOE, about 13 years old, are waiting in the back of the line. CHLOE You know, I’m really glad you asked me out. Scott nods. SCOTT (V.O.) I should say something. It’s been too quiet for too long. Just say anything...anything at all. SCOTT You smell. CHLOE What? SCOTT Nice, I mean. You smell nice. CHLOE Oh, thanks. SCOTT (V.O.) Okay, silence was way better.

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5.

CHLOE I hope they let us in soon. Scott nods. CHLOE Do you always come to this theater? Scott nods again. CHLOE Did you start on Mrs. Habbishore’s essay yet? SCOTT (V.O.) Okay, say words this time. No more nodding. Say actual words. SCOTT No. SCOTT (V.O.) Okay. That was good. More than one word next time though. CHLOE Are you okay? You’re kind of sweating a lot. SCOTT I am? Oh look, we’re going in. The crowd is ushered into the theater. INT. DARK KING’S LABYRINTH SCREENING - NIGHT The crowd makes its way into the theater. Phil rushes to the middle seat in the middle row. GWEN So this is what you meant by the middle of the middle...something. PHIL The middle middle. GWEN Right, because what I said was completely different from what you said. CUT TO: LEON (CONTINUED)


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6.

Leon and Brian are sitting in the front row. CYRUS and his friends walk over to them. LEON Were you guys on line this whole time? CYRUS Yeah, I didn’t know you were here yet. Oh hey Brian. BRIAN Hey Cyrus. Cyrus and his friends sit between Brian and Leon. A man walks by and says something to Cyrus then sits next to Brian. Brian leans forward to yell something to Leon who is five seats away from him. BRIAN So let me tell you what else Julie did! LEON I don’t give a shit, Brian! Brian sits back in his seat. He turns to the man next to him. BRIAN Hey. Name’s Brian. MAN Oh. Uh, Carlyle. Brian checks his phone. BRIAN So how do you know Cyrus? CARLYLE What? Oh no I don’t... BRIAN Dammit, she still hasn’t answered back. CARLYLE Sorry? BRIAN Oh, my girlfriend, well exgirlfriend now. That’s so weird to (MORE) (CONTINUED)


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7.

BRIAN (cont’d) say. We broke up this morning. I sent her a text two hours ago. She hasn’t replied. CARLYLE IBRIAN Man, she was it. I was gonna marry that girl. Can’t trust them. Girls, I mean. You just can’t. A WOMAN walks up to Brian with her head down in her purse, looking for something. WOMAN Is anyone sitting her- Brian?! BRIAN Julie! Did you know I was gonna be here? JULIE God no. If I did I wouldn’t have come. Did you know I was gonna be here? BRIAN I’m the one who texted you and told you what I was doing. Julie checks her phone. JULIE No you...oh. BRIAN You didn’t read it? JULIE I’ve been busy. A MAN walks up to her. MAN I got the popcorn, babe. BRIAN Jeff?

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8.

JEFF Oh. Hey Alan. BRIAN Brian. Wait, you’re on a date with Mr. No-Sleeves over here? JULIE We agreed we’d see other people. BRIAN I didn’t agree to anything. You break up with me and then go out with this guy in the same day? JULIE I don’t have to explain myself to you. Come on Jeff; let’s go find somewhere else to sit. JEFF Uh, where? There are no more seats left, babe. Carlyle looks away. JULIE Fine. Julie sits next to Carlyle and Jeff sits next to Julie. Carlyle is now in between Brian and Julie. CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE Scott and Chloe are sitting two rows behind them. CHLOE I heard this movie is really good. SCOTT Me too...Weird title though. CHLOE I know right. Dark King’s Labyrinth. So stupid. SCOTT (V.O.) Oh my god. We had a conversation. CUT TO: PHIL AND GWEN Two woman, TASHA and TIFFANY sit behind Phil and Gwen.

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9. TASHA Oh did I tell you, Brittany’s getting married! TIFFANY What! No you ain’t tell me that! Who she gettin married to?!

Phil whispers to Gwen. PHIL We may have a problem. GWEN With what? PHIL It’s a possible 213. Gwen waits. GWEN Is that the end of you explaining what a 213 is? PHIL It’s my code for a movie talker. GWEN You have codes for this. PHIL Don’t you understand what this means? Her talking through the movie will completely ruin the experience. It would be like us sitting all the way on the left side of the row. Phil shudders. PHIL Oh god, I can’t even say it as an example. GWEN If it gets bad, we’ll just move. PHIL No. I never move for a talker. No matter how bad it gets. It just gives them license to continue. And I won’t be responsible for that.

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10.

GWEN Wow, it must be hell inside your head. PHIL If they talk during the previews, there’s a 70 percent chance it’ll spill over into the movie. GWEN You just made that up. PHIL I’ve done tests. GWEN You know what. I believe it. PHIL Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than a talker. The only thing that comes close are pointers. Those people who make their fantastic observations and must show their partner by gesturing at the screen. God forbid it’s a 3D movie. It’s mass hysteria. A man and his wife walk into Phil and Gwen’s aisle. He spots an empty seat next to both Phil and Gwen. MAN Is anyone sitting there? Phil gulps. PHIL Um. It...uh. No. WOMAN Oh, would you mind moving down so me and my husband can sit together. GWEN Yeah sure. Phil and Gwen each move down a seat. MAN Thanks. Phil mumbles to Gwen.

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11.

PHIL Yeah sure, come 2 minutes before the movie starts and take the seat I came two hours early to get. GWEN I’m sorry Phil. Hey, it’s not that bad. It’s still somewhat in the middle. PHIL I guess you’re right. Phil turns his head to the far left. PHIL Oh look. The screens all the way over there now. Perfect. CUT TO: BRIAN, JULIE AND CARLYLE Brian is talking to Carlyle. BRIAN ...and over what? Nothing. She didn’t even say why. Just that she doesn’t love me anymore. CARLYLE I’m not... JULIE Don’t you talk about me like I’m not here. BRIAN You might as well not be. JULIE Oh shut up. BRIAN You shut up. You...fart...head? JULIE Really sophisticated and well thought out of you. BRIAN That’s what your mom said last night.

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12.

JULIE See, that’s exactly why I couldn’t be with you. You need to grow up. Brian turns to Carlyle. BRIAN Do you believe her? CARLYLE I really don’t wantBRIAN Oh shh, previews are starting. A trailer for Care Bears 4: The Quest for Honeydew comes on. CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE SCOTT (V.O.) All right, trailers, then the movie. I’m safe for the next 90 minutes. She can’t fault me for not talking. You’re not allowed to talk. But I better say one last thing. SCOTT Wow, I’ve never seen a trailer designed to make me not want to see the movie it’s promoting. Chloe’s eyes widen. CHLOE I know right. Care Bears 4? Who saw 1 through 3? Such garbage. You know my mom wants... Chloe continues to ramble on. SCOTT (V.O.) Okay, bad idea. This chick’s crazy. She only gets excited when I make fun of something. Wait. That’s awesome. I can use this. CUT TO: 25 MINUTES LATER - PHIL AND GWEN TIFFANY Who that guy?

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13.

TASHA That’s the bad guy. TIFFANY What happened to that other guy? TASHA Which one? TIFFANY The one wit the eye patch. TASHA He got killed. TIFFANY What? When that happen? TASHA When you went to the bathroom girl. TIFFANY Well why ain’t you tell me? Phil is rocking back and forth in his chair with his hands clutched in his face. PHIL I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. GWEN Tell them to shut up. PHIL You do it. GWEN No. Why cant you? PHIL You know I have a confrontation problem. If I was ever in a fight, I’d be the one curled up on the floor like a fetus just taking the beating. Then I would apologize after the ass kicking. GWEN That does sound like you. PHIL Aren’t they bothering you?

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14. GWEN No, I’m fine. Just try and block it out. PHIL I can’t concentrate.

Tiffany looks at Phil. TIFFANY Shh! PHIL Sorry. CUT TO: BRIAN AND JULIE Brian laughs at a joke in the film. Julie cringes. Brian laughs again. JULIE Shh. BRIAN I’m laughing. Don’t shush me for laughing. JULIE Get a better laugh and maybe I won’t shush you. Not even better, just normal. BRIAN All this time you’ve hated my laugh? JULIE Yes. BRIAN I had no idea. Silence for a few seconds. BRIAN You fart in your sleep. JEFF Whoa babe. CUT TO: PHIL AND GWEN Tasha’s phone rings.

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15.

TASHA Hello? Who this? Oh hey girl. TIFFANY Who that? TASHA Keisha. TIFFANY Hang up, You bein mad rude. TASHA What? no I aint talkin to you. I’m talkin’ to Tiffany. I’m watchin’ a movie...I said I’m watchin’... Phil stands up and turns around. PHIL That’s it! You loud obnoxious idiots. You have been talking since the movie started. I haven’t said anything because that’s not who I am! But dammit I can’t take it anymore! Now shut the hell up! Or leave! Pick one! CUT TO: PHIL COMING OUT OF HIS DAYDREAM CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE SCOTT (V.O.) Okay, time to get bold. Scott looks down at Chloe’s hand. He tries to hold it. She moves her hand away. SCOTT Is it me or is the acting terrible? CHLOE Oh my god, I know right. Have these people even acted before? Who hired these guys? I’ve seen better acting in a Twilight movie. Chloe holds his hand. CUT TO: PHIL


16.

INT. CONCESSION STAND Phil is standing by the counter. Gwen comes out of the theater and walks up to him. GWEN What are you doing? You’ve been gone for like 20 minutes? PHIL I’m waiting for the manager. Maybe he can do something about them. GWEN Phil, this is insane. PHIL Well this is what I have to do. I have strict rules. GWEN I don’t get it. We’ve been to the movies before and you’ve never acted like this. PHIL That’s because we were dating. I didn’t want to lose you. There was no way I was going to let you see my dark side. GWEN So, you did it when we were dating. What changed? PHIL We’re married now. I’ve already gotten you. GWEN You got me? PHIL Nope. I didn’t say that. GWEN That’s what it sounded like. PHIL Really? That’s weird.

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17.

GWEN So what did you say? PHIL I...won...you over with my... Gwen goes back inside. INT. DARK KING’S LABYRINTH SCREENING Brian and Julie are whispering to each other over Carlyle. BRIAN I only went out with you as a favor. JULIE I only told you I loved you to shut you up. BRIAN You know that nude pic I have of you that I said I deleted. Brian takes out his phone. BRIAN Here it is. Look at it, look at it! Brian waves the phone in Carlyle’s face. JULIE Don’t show him that. CUT TO: 10 MINUTES LATER Brian and Julie are sitting quietly with their arms folded. CUT TO: 15 MINUTES LATER BRIAN I’m sorry I said you farted in your sleep. JULIE I’m sorry I said I hated your laugh. BRIAN Really?

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18.

JULIE Yeah. It’s actually pretty adorable. Brian leans over Carlyle. BRIAN These twelve hours have been torture. JULIE Do you mean it? Julie leans over Carlyle. BRIAN Are you kidding? I love everything about you. Your hair, your beautiful eyes, the way you ignore me when your friends are around. Everything. These past two weeks we’ve been together have been the best two weeks of my life. Carlyle’s jaw drops. CARLYLE Two weeks. You’ve only been together two weeks. BRIAN Um, having a conversation here guy. JEFF Hey babe... JULIE Shhh...shut up. She puts her hand over Jeff’s mouth. CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE SCOTT (V.O.) Okay. Still holding hands. Good sign. It’s been like an hour. Maybe I should say something. Scott looks at her giving her a very crooked and noticeably forced smile. She lets go of his hand.

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19.

SCOTT (V.O.) I’m screwed. CUT TO: PHIL AND GWEN TIFFANY This movies mad boring. TANYA I know right. Why the hell he tryin to save her. She don’t even like him like that. Phil stands up and turns around. PHIL Shut up, shut up, shut up. You two morons have been babbling on throughout the whole movie! This was supposed to be my first night out with my wife to see a movie I’ve been waiting a year to see and you’ve ruined it. And now she’s mad at me. So you know what, you two either shut up or...I’m going to do something. I don’t know what because you’re a woman and definitely bigger than me. But it won’t be good. Now I’m going to finish watching what’s left of the movie. Please shut your mouths until then. Everyone in the theater is looking at Phil. He sits down. GWEN Okay, that was amazing. PHIL I just want to finish watching this movie in peace. GWEN And now we can do that. The credits begin to roll and the lights in the theater come up. PHIL Son of a bitch.


20.

INT. THEATER LOBBY Brian and Julie are walking out of the theater holding hands. JULIE Lets not break up again. They kiss and walk down the stairs together. Carlyle, Jeff and Leon are standing next to each other. JEFF Man, that is messed up. Carlyle stares at Jeff. Jeff tilts his M&M box to Carlyle. JEFF M&M? Carlyle rolls his eyes and walks away. Leon stands next to Jeff. LEON What’s the matter with you? And where the hell are your sleeves? It’s like forty degrees outside. CUT TO: SCOTT AND CHLOE SCOTT So, what did you think? CHLOE I don’t know, it was really... SCOTT Bad? CHLOE Exactly! God, you really get me. This date turned out so much better than I thought it would. No offense. She kisses him on the check and heads into the bathroom. SCOTT Whoa. CUT TO: PHIL AND GWEN

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21.

PHIL This has just been an awful night. GWEN I’m so sorry Phil. I know how long you’ve been waiting to see this movie. PHIL No, I don’t care about that. Well, I do a little bit. It’s our first night out as a married couple and you’re mad at me. Gwen smiles. GWEN I’m not mad. It’s actually kind of sweet that you did all those things for me when we were dating. Must have been awful, sitting on the left side all those times. PHIL You have no idea. I still feel bad that I missed that whole movie though. Phil walks with Gwen to the exit. A man walks up to them. MAN Hey, thanks for telling those two to shut up. That was awesome. Phil smiles and puffs up his chest. CREDITS INT. DARK KING’S LABYRINTH SCREENING - MORNING Phil, smiling, is sitting in next to Gwen in the middle middle watching Dark King’s Labyrinth.


The Dark King's Labyrinth