Page 1

Donald Trump’s Stance(s) on Campus Carry:

Great idea. Very Smart! Pg. 18

Poor Judgement. Bad Policy! Pg. 18

Lewis & Clark Student

C A M PUS C A R RY I S H E R E . D ON ’ T PA N IC Pg. 36

Discusses Making Movies Without Cameras



pg. 12

+ALSO: Medical Illustrators Have Gross Anatomy Pg. 20 #BudgetHack Your Fake ID Pg. 24 Drain These Toilet Beers Pg. 22

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By Rebecca F r iou Meet Woodrow Hunt, student at Lewis & Clark College and iconoclastic filmmaker.





PAGE 14 At the University of Miami, the Association of Commuter Students is helping off-campus undergrads find a community. By Daniel Enjamio

FREAKS & GREEKS PAGE 28 From Pi Kapp’s to Alpha Phi’s, these five Greek students are doing freakishly remarkable things. By Amy Garcia & Mallory Arnold & Emily Suvannasankha



PAGE 16 The latest news from colleges across the country. By Danielle Wilk in son


PAGE 18 Where, if anywhere, does Donald Trump stand on campus carry? By Amy Garc ia


PAGE 20 This month, we’re studying Medical Illustration. By Maya Merberg


PAGE 22 Three shitty beers, just in time for Rush Week. By Jessica Stowe

#COLLEGEHACKS PAGE 24 #BudgetHacks that will save you money in exchange for some dignity. By Sof ia Rivera

COVER SPOTLIGHT Photography: Zachary Shelley Model: Hannah Cowley

HOT OR NOT PAGE 42 Scenes from a Donald Trump protest in Dallas. By Ju st in Leal

GAME THEORY PAGE 44 A brief note on the release of “XCOM 2.” By Al Vanderklipp


PAGE 36 With campus carry laws taking effect August 1st, here’s everything you need to know. By Jessica Peña and Olivia McCoy


PAGE 46 While you’re busy watching Netflix, Elissa Karim is working toward global nuclear disarmament. By Lind sey Davi s




AL VA NDERKLIPP University of Michigan Film & Political Science “Game Theory” Pg. 44

SOFIA RIVER A Simmons College Spanish & Communications “#CollegeHacks” Pg. 24

MALLORY AR NOLD Ohio University Journalism “Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 28

REBECCA FRIOU University of New Orleans Journalism “Student Exhibition” Pg. 12

DA NIEL ENJA MIO Santa Fe College Communications “Group Work” Pg. 14

DA NIELLE WILKINSON Purdue University Mass Communications “College News” Pg. 16

A MY GARCIA Johns Hopkins University Writing Seminars & Cognitive Science “College Voice,” “Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 18 & 28

MAYA MERBERG SUNY Geneseo English & Philosophy “What’s Your Major?” Pg. 20

JESSICA STOWE University of Texas at San Antonio English “The Meal Plan” Pg. 22

JESSICA PEÑA University of Texas at San Antonio English “Campus Carry” Pg. 36

OLIVIA MCCOY University of Georgia English & French “Campus Carry” Pg. 36

LINDSEY DAVIS Iowa State University English & Journalism “Extra Credit” Pg. 46



STUDENT WRITERS Study Breaks is written exclusively by a team of student interns from across the country. These writers work with the editorial team to pitch and submit one piece a week for the website, in addition to writing for the monthly print magazine. EMILY SUVANNASANKHA University of Central Florida Creative Writing “Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 28

JUSTIN LEAL Texas State University Photography “Hot or Not,” “Freaks and Greeks” Photography Pg. 42 & 34

BEN GR AYZEL Quest University Liberal Arts & Science “Student Exhibition” Photography Pg. 12

KIA NA KR AFT California Polytechnic at San Luis Obispo Graphic Design “Extra Credit” Photography Pg. 46

ALEX A NDER MCPHEE University of Miami Marketing “Group Work” Photography Pg. 14

ZACHARY SHELLEY Johns Hopkins University Economics “Cover Photo” & :Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 31


Fall internships run from September 28th to January 28st, and applications close September 14th. If interested, email with “Student Writing Internship” in the Subject. Introduce yourself in the body, making sure to include your name, school and major. Please attach at least two samples of your work. Ideal writers are intelligent, funny and talented, though no formal experience is necessary.

SAR AH BLUESTEIN Pomona College Photography “Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 30

K AITLIN HATTON Ohio University Commercial Photography “Freaks and Greeks” Pg. 33




The Greek Issue Because most students on campus this month are there for rush, we traditionally focus the August issue on Greek life. This year, playing off the cult show “Freaks and Geeks,” we decided to riff the idea into a “Freaks and Greeks” concept. Obviously we wanted to avoid engaging with the backwards, voyeuristic carnival “freaks” of yore, but we found perfect analogues in stage performers, such as trapeze artists, strong men, escape artists and more. The idea then emerged to highlight Greek students across the country that were doing remarkable things—freakishly remarkable, one could say— and to draw parallels between t hei r ac c ompl i sh ment s a nd the stereotypes of classic stage performers. The piece was a lot of fun to create, and we were pleased with its positive representation of the Greek community. Though individual members and isolated groups occasionally give the organizations a bad name, by profiling Greek students over-achieving for a cause, the “Freaks and Greeks” feature shows the opposite, inspiring end of the Greek student spectrum. In addition to painting a more balanced portrait of Greek students, the feature also reflects the magazine’s newest aspirations. In April we published our first completely student-

written magazine, followed a few months later by our first completely student written and student-photographed publication. Our most recent goal is to expand our student voice— incorporating not only collegiate writers and photographers from across the country, but intensifying our coverage of remarkable students, professors, faculty and stories, all the way from Seattle University to Santa Fe College. In working to become the definitive catalogue of noteworthy students and striving to cover issues important to undergrads, we want “Study Breaks” to be as entertaining as it is useful.

In a nod to practicality, our “Campus Carry” feature has everything students need to know about the new gun laws on campus. Co-written by an Austin native and a San Antonio student, and extensively researched and condensed into easily digestible nuggets, we strove to succinctly c o n v e y t h e f a c t s (t h o u g h , admittedly, with a little editorial bia s of what c a mpus c a r r y is, what it means for you, and how it will change your college experience. And speaking of mass violence, Iowa State student Lindsey Davis talked to Elissa Karim about eradicating nuclear weapons, and Johns Hopkins student Amy Garcia explored Donald Trump’s opaque position on campus gun laws. Between Greek life and campus carry, student life seems more complicated than ever. Whatever the future holds though, we’re there to make it a little bit clearer.

Editor In Chief @MarkStenberg3

FOUNDER: GAL SHWEIKI, ART DIRECTOR: IAN FRIEDEL, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: MARK STENBERG, SALES: GIL PETERS, GRAPHIC DESIGNER: BRYAN RAYNES, MARKETING: RALPH CHAPLIN, ACCOUNTING: ELONDA RUSS, DISTRIBUTION MANAGER: MARCUS FLORES, PRODUCTION: SHWEIKI MEDIA, Study Breaks magazine is published twelve times per year by Shweiki Media, Inc. copyright 2012. All rights reserved. This magazine may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented without written permission from the publisher. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents of this magazine or of the trademarks of Study Breaks Magazine, Inc., without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no responsibility for care and return of unsolicited materials. Return postage must accompany material if it is to be returned. In no event shall such material subject this magazine to any claim for holding fees or similar charges. Study Breaks Magazine is an entertainment magazine for the students of San Antonio, San Marcos, Austin and Lubbock, published 12 times a year. CORPORATE OFFICE: STUDY BREAKS MAGAZINE INC., 4954 SPACE CENTER DR., SAN ANTONIO, TX 78218 CONTACT STUDY BREAKS: EDITORIAL: MARK STENBERG, 210-705-3284 | EDITORIAL@STUDYBREAKS.COM STUDY BREAKS MAGAZINE IS EXCITED TO HELP YOUR BRAND REACH OUR AUDIENCE THROUGH VIDEO AND WRITTEN CONTENT. SALES: RALPH CHAPLIN, 210-892-0951 | CONTACT@STUDYBREAKS.COM









“There is a kind of magic in live theater that I respect immensely, but I also am not made of money or idealism.” – Lauren Diethelm, UC Santa Cruz God Bless PBS for Bringing “Hamilton” to the Masses “In the same way that people dislike cockroaches, bitter tastes and unwanted advances from their married neighbors, I don’t like children.” – August Wright, College of Charleston Why I Choose to Be Childless in a Society That Values Mothers

“THE LIL’ B CURSE: THE TERRIFYING POWER OF THE BASED GOD’S GREATEST DISCIPLE” Originally writ ten af ter James Harden’s 2015 loss to the Warriors, University of Texas student Will Strecker’s histor y of the Based God’s curse now has another chapter. Now that Kevin Durant is, according to Lil’ B, of ficially curse free, can he finally nab a ring?

“In the purest sense of the word, which is to say he saw trends before anyone else, Bill Cunningham was a hipster.” – Sofia Rivera, Simmons College Remembering Bill Cunningham, “NYT” Photographer and Original Hipster


“BORDER TOWN LIFE, AS TOLD BY AN ANTI-TRUMP MEXICAN AMERICAN” One of the most inflammatory pieces written for the website, University of Texas at San Antonio student Jessica Peña’s article about the racism that she’s encountered since leaving Rio Grande City, mixed with the threat of a Trump presidency, has made “Border Town Life” one of the site’s most popular articles.

“Woven into the fabric of our culture, “Finding Dory” helps to normalize mental disabilities, doing its small part to move marginalized people in from the societal sidelines.” – Maya Merberg, SUNY Geneseo Finding a Cinematic Marvel in “Finding Dory” “You know what they say—always the ghostee, never the ghoster.” – Katie Hovan, University of Miami Do Not Ghost Gentle Into That Good Night

According to City College of San Francisco student Amelia Williams, these 5 items make up the student uniform.

Black Adidas track pants

A “rucksack”

Yoga pants


Riding boots

ONLINE CLASSES THIS MONTH ON THE WEBSITE, LEARN HOW TO: Free bleed; contextualize “Bob’s Burgers”; apply to grad school (correctly); become a stoic; take supplements without puking; game “Ratemyprofessor”; transition from a useless major to a more useless major; telemarket; flirt with the poop emoji; share without bragging on social media; enjoy appreciate Justin Bieber.

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WOODROW HUNT By Rebecca Friou, University of New Orleans // Photography by Ben Grayzel, Quest University

The product of an immensely creative upbringing, WOODROW HUNT is an aspiring filmmaker and Screenwriting student at Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon. After spending a year in Santa Fe he’s unearthed his true passion for storytelling, and talked with “Study Breaks” about the impact he wants to have on the film industry, his latest plot line and


REBECCA FRIOU: So you have a pretty strong artistic streak in your family. How did that help you get into film? WOODROW HUNT: Growing up lots of people were creating around me. My dad owns a local theatre company in Portland and my grandma taught pottery classes in her basement when I was a kid. My grandpa is a singer/songwriter and a storyteller, which is where I would say I really get my passion for creating plot lines. RF: Your family sounds really impressive. Did they influence your choice of school? Why Santa Fe University of Art and Design? WH: Well, not only did I get a scholarship, but also my dad was really familiar with the university. Since he’s an acting coach, he spends a lot of time researching colleges that he can send his actors to if they aren’t ready for living independently in places like LA and NYC. Aside from that,


Name: Woodrow Hunt School: Lewis and Clark College Major: Film & Screenwriting Year: Sophomore

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Chris Eyre is the film school chair, and because of his work involving the Native American community, I felt like it could be a really cool place. I’m transferring to Lewis and Clark because I want to focus on my compositional writing skills. RF: Tell me about your writing. How did you distinguish your passion for it this past year? WH: I received the Robert Redford/Milagro Initiative Scholarship [through SFUAD], which gave me the chance to participate in these amazing workshops with people from the Sundance Labs, like Joan Tewkesbury. They focused on character development, which led to basic story development. RF: Are you currently writing anything? WH: Yeah, I’m working on a feature film actually. RF: Would you mind sharing the plot? WH: It involves a surfer from Texas who is struggling with the decision to move on from his hometown, or remain there and follow in his family’s footsteps. Essentially, I’m trying to create


films that don’t revolve around Hollywood cowboys and blonde bombshells. There’s enough of that. I’m trying to evolve from that era and use details of my own life—as well as general human experiences—that are more relatable. RF: Sounds like you could be a refreshing change in the film industry. WH: That won’t be out for a while though, so in the meantime I’ll be doing some

phone short films. I enjoy the spontaneity of bringing out a phone, because when I work with actors I like to use improv. I don’t particularly enjoy being behind a camera. RF: Huh. I would never have expected a filmmaker to say that. WH: Although I know the technical side of film, it isn’t what I’m interested in. A cinematographer would never say this (which just shows I’m

not a cinematographer), but I feel restricted by the tripod and all the equipment. I don’t feel as fluid. With a phone, I can go wherever I want and be able to quickly get the shot and angle I want. RF: Do you draw your inspiration from anything in particular? WH: Actually, a week before I met my girlfriend I was in this intense time of stress because I thought college would inspire me, but that wasn’t the case. When I met Olivia, it sparked some new ideas. Definitely coming back home and being back around family also brings out those concepts. I guess moving away was when I had to find a new source of that, because I don’t want to become self-obsessed and rewrite my own story over and over again. RF: How do you tell if a concept is worth pursuing? WH: When I get an idea, it’s not because I think it’ll please people and get positive reactions. It’s more of a gut wrenching feeling that seems true and I know it needs to be explored and elaborated on. My creations stem from surrounding myself with people who are constantly creating new, interesting experiences.


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The Association of Commuter Students By Daniel Enjamio, Santa Fe College Photography by Alexander McPhee, Universit y of Miami

The University of Miami (UM) is one of the most unique colleges in the nation. Despite its name, the campus is technically located in Coral Gables, Florida, a small city of about 49,000 people within Miami-Dade County. Miami-Dade is one of the largest counties in the United States, meaning about two-thirds of the private university’s students live at home. Since 1974, the Association of Commuter Students (ACS) at UM has given those students who live off-campus an opportunity to enjoy the true college experience.

Commuter students are often deprived of the aspects of college that leaving home facilitates, such as getting involved on campus. For those involved in the Association of Commuter Students (ACS), though, it’s a different story. “[ACS] is not only an organization, but also a home,” says president Daniela Perez. “We provide a place for commuters to make bonds that will last a lifetime.” The organization’s members

participate in various aspects of student life at UM, such as Homecoming and intramurals, and even get involved in the community. They go out of their way to make themselves known on campus, as one of the group’s main goals is to help all students become better acclimated to life at UM. According to member James Perez, they also hold a “commuter week,” in which the group “provides opportunities for all students to have fun and enrich

FACT FILE COLLEGE: The University of Miami NUMBER OF MEMBERS: 100 FOUNDED IN: 1974 GROUP PRESIDENT: Daniela Perez, Class of 2017

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their own college experience.” This is one of a few campus-wide events the group holds. Indeed, it becomes quickly apparent that ACS is a tightknit group, rather than just something to put on the résumé. Although they meet formally twice a month to go over upcoming events, the members hang out regularly in a space designated for them. Perez was drawn to the organization she now leads because of the lively vibe that surrounded it. She describes it as a “well-rounded” environment, citing how impressed she was initially with the group’s exuberant members that always seemed to be “eating, talking and laughing.” Initially dubbed the

“Women’s Commuter Organization” in 1974, ACS continues to allow Miami residents to enjoy the complete college experience 42 years later. “Being a member of ACS means being a part of a family that cares for you and wants the best for you,” says Perez. “I have memories with ACS that will last me a lifetime.”



“We have meetings about twice a month where we update our members on any events coming up and answer any questions. We also host informal meetings with food and activities.”

“As a freshman, I was very worried about finding my place at UM. Being a commuter can be intimidating, and it’s easy to just go to class and go back home. The longer I stayed [at ACS], the more I was sure I had found my home. ACS does it all. I knew that with them I would get the full college experience, from social activities to community service to Homecoming.”

– James Perez

- Daniela Perez



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THE BUZZ Millennials More Likely to Move Home After Graduation

Students Killed in Bangladesh Attacks

According to a 2015 Pew Research Center report, even with a full time job, more millennials are choosing to live with their parents after graduation.

20 hostages were killed by ISIS at Holey Artisan Bakery in Bangladesh on July 2, 2016, including three American college students.

Father/Daughter Duo Graduate with Nursing Degrees

Homeless Teen Graduates Top of His Class, Earns Full Scholarship

Parents often joke about following their children

Liyjon DeSilva, a homeless teen from San Antonio, graduated at the top of his class and earned a full scholarship to Carleton University in Minnesota.

to college to make sure they go to class, do their homework and come home at a decent time. But what happens when your parent actually does

Sign Language Gloves That Speak Undergraduates Navid Azodi and Thomas Pryor from the University of Washington won a $10,000 prize for creating gloves that translate ASL gestures into audible words.

follow you to college? 54-year old Jamie Cernobyl applied for Northampton Community College’s nursing program, and happened to be accepted the same year as his daughter, 25-year old Erica Cernobyl. Although Jamie had worked as a welder for 33 years, he planned to go back to school for nursing since his daughters were elementaryaged. Jamie and Erica graduated with associate’s degrees in Registered Nursing on May 26th.

Bumble & Spotify Team Up for Love Dating in college can be difficult. Making connections—especially online—can be like throwing darts at a target while blindfolded.


White House Condemns Campuses Lenient on Sexual Assault The White House announced that President Obama, Vice President Biden, their wives and cabinet members will no longer visit universities they perceive as handling sexual assaults poorly. This comes only shortly after the Brock Turner case and the news that universities may be widely underreporting sexual assaults on campuses. This is an especially important issue to Biden who heads the “It’s On Us” campaign to end sexual assault before it begins, a campaign that more than 344,000 people have shown support for. The White House hopes this move will prompt schools to take more action against sexual offenders, and that more victims will feel safe reporting assaults.

Perhaps, some might suggest, the reason your matches haven’t worked out was because their music preferences were subpar. The popular dating app Bumble is trying to fix that by teaming up with Spotify to give users the opportunity to find new connections through music. Users can connect their Spotify to Bumble and find their soulmate based on the top artists they listen to.


“You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might become the very best version of yourself.” -Sherly Sandberg, 2016 University of California at Berkeley Commencement Speech

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

“Frozen” Prosthetic Arm Eight physics majors from Siena College in Loudonville, New York, used a 3-D printer to create a “Frozen”-themed prosthetic arm for Karissa

MEANWHILE, IN TEXAS Matthew McConaughey Teaches a Class at UT Academy Award-winning actor Matthew McConaughey will be teaching “Advanced Producing: Script to Screen” at UT Austin this fall.

Mitchell, a 9-year old born without a right hand. The prosthetic is blue and features a picture of the lovable snowman Olaf, snowflakes and a crown above her name. The students are not new to creating themed prosthetics—Karissa’s mom found out about them after hearing about the “Iron Man” prosthetic they made for a 10-year old boy. According to NBC, Karissa is currently learning how to lift objects and write with the prosthetic.

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Bugs in SMU Dining Court SMU students plead on social media for higher quality dining after spotting cockroaches near food and on tables in the dining courts. TCU Baseball Plays and Wins for Micah TCU’s baseball team honored 7-year old neuroblastoma victim Micah Ahern by adorning their caps with a Superman-like “M” and establishing a baseball scholarship in his name.

Parrots Play Video Games at Texas A&M Researchers from the Schubot Exotic Bird Health Center at Texas A&M create internet software resembling video games to stimulate parrots. Tech Student Battling Leukemia Receives Community Support McDaniel Ubi, a doctoral student attending Texas Tech, received financial help and immense support from the community while battling leukemia. Rice Team Develops New Anti-Cancer Agent Rice University synthetic chemist K.C. Nicolaou and his team synthesized an anticancer agent called Thailanstatin A, allowing possibility of new cancer therapies.

By Danielle Wilkinson, Purdue University



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Where Does Donald Trump Stand on Campus Carry? By Amy Garcia, Johns Hopkins University


s gun-related atrocities continue to ravage the country, the battle over firearms regulation has become vicious. The risk of shootings on school grounds has facilitated the passage of campus carry laws, which are now allowed, to varying degrees, in 19 states, including Texas, West Virginia and Washington. The concept continues to gain momentum, despite the 420 colleges and universities in 42 states that have joined the “Campaign to Keep Guns Off Campus” movement, as well as arguments from members of the schools themselves, such as the Chancellor of the Tennessee Board of Regents David Gregory, who recently argued that in heated debate environments, such as college classrooms, guns would be disastrous. Since policymakers have little regard for what students or faculty think about campus carry though, the only recourse for change must come through the political system itself. Unfortunately, one of the

“There’s no more gun-free zones. You know what a gun-free zone is to a sicko? That’s bait. My first day, it gets signed.”

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current presidential candidates has managed to campaign for nearly a year without offering any definitive points of policy, including his thoughts on campus carry. Since the party Donald Trump represents has fought tooth and nail to uphold the Second Amendment, it stands to reason that he himself would support campus carry. Instead, he has fluctuated on the issue. On May 22, Trump said that “in some cases teachers should be allowed to have guns,” before then adding that he was “not advocating guns in classrooms.” A petition in March advocated for the open carry of firearms at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. The laws in Ohio prohibit open carry in certain areas of the state, including the arena in which the convention would be held. When asked to support the petition, Trump responded that he had not read it, and that he wanted to “study the fine print.” Between 2010 and 2012, Trump changed his opinions on gun regulations. Though originally supporting a longer waiting period for purchases and a ban on assault weapons, he later told the audience at the Conservative Political Action Congress that he did not think that there should be any limit to gun sales in America. Trump is so barely Republican that the idea of him opposing campus carry is not beyond the realm of possibility; indeed, he is notorious for perplexing contradictions. In 1999, he was “very pro-choice,” but was quoted in 2016 as saying “there has to be some sort of punishment” if women are to have an abortion. On January 8th, Trump told his audience in Vermont, “There’s no more gun-free zones. You know what a gun-free zone is to a sicko? That’s bait. My first day, it gets signed.” Trump has promised several other steps on his very first day in office: to overturn all of Obama’s executive decisions, close the borders to all illegal immigrants, get rid of Obamacare, and provide care for the veterans and the military. What a busy day he has planned.

Men and women achieve great things around this country every day. Some are athletes, college graduates and some are dedicated volunteers. Few build upon those achievements and even fewer use what they’ve gained to serve their country or reach their full potential. Bradley Rabun is currently a senior at The University of Texas at Austin majoring in Government, founder of the Longhorn Semper Fi Society and has chosen a challenging career as a Marine Aviator as his father did before him. To this end, he has competed and earned his spot as a Marine Corps Officer Candidate. Bradley is currently attending Platoon Leaders Class, which is a physically and mentally demanding ten-week leadership evaluation course held at Officer Candidates School, Marine Corps Base Quantico, VA. Upon graduation of Officer Candidates School and graduation from The University of Texas, he will be granted the opportunity to accept a commission as a Second Lieutenant earning the title “Marine Officer.” It is this title, and the values which it carries, that are emulated and admired around the globe. It is values like this and the challenges we pursue which enrich our lives. Do you have what it takes?! –Semper Fi and Hook ‘Em Horns!



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Medical Illustration Despite being an oddly specific field, Medical Illustration is actually a pretty common major. On second thought, this makes sense—who else would be qualified to illustrate all those biology textbooks or create the terrifying depictions of brain tumors that Web MD says you have? Bio majors probably wouldn’t have the stylistic technique, and if art majors had the scientific knowledge, they wouldn’t have majored in art. A Medical Illustration major offers the opportunity for an anatomically rooted version of creative expression, providing some rare job opportunities.

MYTH VS. REALITY: MYTH: Medical Illustration majors just want to take classes where they can draw nudes. TRUTH: If this were true, they would have to be exceptionally committed to the cause. MI majors have to see and draw a lot of disgusting stuff as well. They’re usually required to take a course called “Gross Anatomy,” which happens to be exactly what you would expect. Gross anatomy is actually another name for topographical anatomy—the macroscopic study of the body. But this course is taught through real human dissection, so I think it’s aptly named.

MYTH: People who choose this major are indecisive drifters who can’t choose between the liberal arts and hard sciences.

FUN FACT: KEY TERMS: The AMI (Association of Medical Illustrators): The organization through which MI majors must become board-certified by taking a series of exams before they can be hired. Most people are shocked


SALARY: $53,080

Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519) is considered by most experts to have been the first medical illustrator. to learn there are enough medical illustrators around to form an association. Fur Freak: Condescending term used by MI majors to refer to those who specialize in veterinary medicine illustration.

Frank H. Netter, M.D.: Essentially the founder of medical illustration, Netter is to his field what Sigmund Freud is to psychology, or John Dewey is to education. Students are taught to practically idolize him, partially because no one else has any idea who he is.

CONVERSATION STARTERS: “Have you always wanted to draw pictures of peoples’ insides

“Do you have any tips for looking at blood without passing out?”

“I have something weird going on in my ear. Can you give it a quick sketch?”

TRUTH: Someone who is literate in both of these fields is probably far more marketable to employers than most other college graduates. It shows well roundedness and individuality.

MYTH: Medical illustrators are wannabe doctors who can’t get in to med school. TRUTH: It takes a rigorous course load and stellar grades to be accepted into an MI graduate program. In fact, some doctors are probably wannabe medical illustrators who couldn’t get into medical illustration school.

EXAMPLE COURSES: Life Drawing; 3D Design and Animation; Biocommunication; the aforementioned Gross Anatomy, the prerequisite to the 200-level Repulsive Anatomy, and 300-level Literally-GagInducing Anatomy.

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Many medical illustrators are self-employed, and work on an as-needed basis for individual organizations or people who need accurate but visually pleasing drawings of the human body. This could include teachers, physicians, advertisers, publishers, creeps, etc.

Medical illustrations are used all the time in the courtroom, especially in cases of injury and malpractice. For all the judge knows, that scalpel left in the client’s body during surgery could have just been there since birth.

By Maya Merberg, SUNY Geneseo



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RAISE A CAN TO RUSH WEEK By Jessica Stowe, University of Texas at San Antonio In celebration of all things Greek, we drink the three sh*tty beers all pledges need to know. Let’s talk about beer. Not the smooth, delicious, palatable kind, the kind with a flavorful, frothy head and crisp, refreshing taste—no, let’s talk about the other kind of beer, the stuff that tastes like Indy 500 urinal trough runoff filtered through a jockstrap. Of all life’s truisms, few hold more bearing on your college experience than the knowledge that when a beer is bad, it’s really bad. Whether a lager or an IPA is of little consequence—everyone has a preference, but nobody can deny that there are beers out there that could only optimistically be considered substandard (at best). No doubt many drinkers have willfully plunged into a sixer or even a dirty thirty of a substance of this ilk, the kind of trub that’s sprung for when no one pitches in. Sometimes people drink bad beer because it’s free, sometimes they drink it because there’s just no other choice. But, for every different type of beer there is, there’s a different reason to drink it. Nobody is going to complain about the ice chest full of Keystone Light at the poolside barbecue. So, since you’ll likely drink it at some point in college—and are probably drinking it right now if you’re rushing—here are three shitty beers that you need to be familiar with, clocking in at $1.50 per 25oz can and sampled in the comfort of my apartment complex hot tub.

BUSCH Decorated with a large fish against the backdrop of a bucolic scene as “clear and bright as mountain air,” my first sip of Busch was monstrously unappealing. The froth, or foam, doesn’t pass the palette particularly well. The brew’s aftertaste was bitter, which was surprising considering its weak, diluted body. Imagine drinking the juice from a can of corn.

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FRIO LIGHT Certainly the least bitter and thus easiest to drink, this hyper-cheap alternative is popular among students who spend their summers floating the river the beer was named after. Of the three it was the most tolerable, with minimal carbonation and a distinctly crisp taste. Probably the kind of beer you pack in a cooler for a campsite cold one.

NATURAL LIGHT Featuring the least tantalizing aesthetic, the beer named after two innocuous adjectives was slightly more tolerable than the Busch, mostly as a result of it being slightly less bad. The flavor reflects the design of the can it comes in, which is to say dull and indistinguishable from its beer aisle neighbors. Creatively referred to as “Natty Light,” the drink is a perfect pairing for offroad mudding on the Fourth of July weekend.






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#BUDGETHACKS How to remain positive when your bank account balance is negative.

STORAGE UNITS Finding a landlord who will accept your CVS Extra Bucks as a valid form of payment is no easy feat, but dishing out $1,000+ a month is anxiety inducing. A forwardthinking alternative to a traditional studio is living in a storage unit.

The first person to say “Nothing in life is free” was probably the type of person who thought you couldn’t eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in one sitting. They would probably also be positive that Burger King’s Mac N’ Cheetos were fictional, and that one—maybe—but no way Beyoncé could surprise drop two albums. But as broke college students, we know definitively that “Nothing in life is free” is about as true as anything Donald Trump says, which is to say grossly untrue. When college students don’t have money, they don’t tighten their belts in the traditional ways though, mostly because they likely ran out of belt holes after the Freshman Fifteen and now rotate between sweatpants and no pants, new belts being an unaffordable luxury. No, the key to living frugally while living fruitfully as a college student is to avoid the rut. So, next time you’re about to Venmo request your roommate about those grapes she ate, avoid coupon-clipping carpal tunnel and try these innovative #BudgetHacks instead.

VISUAL RULE: You Can Only Pick Two

These weatherproof, secure efficiencies are seriously underrated living spaces. You’ve already moved your stuff in, so why take the unnecessary step of hauling your crap to an expensive apartment? Minimalism is in, and your 100 square feet of living space will encourage/demand aggressive decluttering. If you’re embarrassed to bring a date home, don’t be. Put some Sinatra on and light some candles, and they’ll never suspect that you don’t have electricity.





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Not okay By Sofia Rivera, Simmons College

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SCORE A FREE MEAL Date Dash To ensure your date pays for the meal, wait until you’ve finished eating, then respond to something your date says with, “Is that a fat joke?” What they actually said is inconsequential (i.e. “You look beautiful tonight” is a perfectly reasonable trigger). Remain offended no matter how much they confusedly backtrack, then storm off in all your free meal glory.

Regarding Tipping “I’m a broke college student” is a valid scapegoat for many shortcomings, but tipping is not one of them. If you’re able to treat yourself enough to go

out to eat, you’re able to spare an extra dollar or two to tip your waiter. Gaze into their exhausted eyes as they recite the specials

and know that their living depends on your tips. Also, they could spit in your food if they really wanted to— so don’t give them a reason.


Grocery Run Low on food? Head to your local Whole Foods, Costco or Trader Joes, and as you browse the myriad options available for purchase, feast on the samples strewn throughout the store. At Trader Joes, make sure to say around one of the unsettlingly friendly employees how much you’d love to purchase a product, but if only you knew how it tasted; they’ll immediately let you sample it. You entered the store with an empty wallet and with an empty wallet you shall leave—but with a full stomach as well.

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• WALLET: Paying big bucks for a money holder is absurd, because after you buy it you’ll have nothing left to put in it. Ziplock bags are waterproof and slimly profiled, or for a quirkier option, make like a “What Not to Wear” contestant and go with an empty Animal Crackers box. • FAKE ID: These laminated lies can cost up to two full days of minimum wage work, a fact that will fail to sway angry bouncers as they confiscate them anyway. Instead, use a card that you already own that connotes adulthood, like a library card or a museum

membership. The bouncer won’t need further proof of your maturity, but to seal the deal you can use a fine point Sharpie to write, “I am 21,” and then tell him your astrology sign before he has time to ask. • PENNIES: Every lane is Penny Lane if you keep your eyes peeled—careless members of the bourgeoisie drop copper Lincolns all the time, and one man’s litter is another man’s profit. Five hundred pennies is five dollars, which means that box of Ziplocks is on the house.

By Sofia Rivera, Simmons College

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FACT FILE Name: Anna Fountain School: Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Major: 2A (Mechanical Engineering & DigitalMechanical Product Design) Year: Senior Sorority: Delta Phi Epsilon Hometown: Chatham, NJ

ANNA FOUNTAIN The Amazing Juggling Woman

By Amy Garcia , Johns Hopkins University // Photography by Sarah Bluestein, Pomona College

With a dual major, philanthropic design work and international relations hobby up in the air, Fountain is as talented of a juggler as they come. A student at MIT, Anna Fountain is majoring in 2A, a track in the Mechanical Engineering Department that allows her to choose a second engineering subject to concentrate in. As a result, Fountain is also studying Digital-Mechanical Product Design, a field that captivates her and one she hopes to use to create new products that change and improve how people interact with technology. Fountain is also president of the Forum, MIT’s non-partisan politics and current events discussion group, which allows her to nurture her

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interest in international relations. Her involvement with Design for America, an organization that aims to help college students leverage their design skills to address societal issues in the US, has also allowed her to put her passion to work. “It has been a great experience,” says Fountain, “because I love applying what I’m learning in class to take on real-world problems outside of the classroom.” “I went to an all-girls’ high school,” she explains, “so when I first arrived at college, I was convinced I didn’t need more sisterhood in my life. I decided not to do recruitment that fall, and didn’t really think twice about it. As I went on and my friend group became largely guys, I realized there were many aspects of the female friendships like I’d had in

high school that I missed. Additionally, many of my friends were in a fraternity on campus, and I saw how they relied on each other, supported each other, and mentored each other. When one of my close girl friends joined a new sorority on campus the fall of my junior year, it made me reconsider my thoughts on joining. When I met the other girls in the sorority in their spring recruitment, I realized that these types of connections were exactly what I had been missing.” In addition to her academic interests, Fountain stays busy with reading, seeing performances on campus, spending time with her friends, and discussing “Game of Thrones” with anyone who will listen. Juggling her academic, extracurricular and social obligations might be difficult, but she’s a natural.


The Daring Trapeze Artist

By Amy Garcia, Johns Hopkins University Photography by Zachary Shelley, Johns Hopkins University

Between sisterhood, two majors and marketing at a startup, Cowley knows a thing or two about balance. Hannah Cowley is a sister in Alpha Phi, as well as both a Cognitive Science and Computer Science major at Johns Hopkins University. In addition to school, Cowley also works as the director of marketing for a startup founded by Hopkins students called FitMango. Cowley is currently working to develop an app that will sort clients into small groups based on interests and goals, which will then connect those groups with a professional trainer to help them achieve more than they could on their own. Cowley also works in Dr. Michael McCloskey’s Cognitive Neuroscience research lab on campus, and has just had her first paper accepted to the Spatial Cognition conference in Philadelphia.

“My answer to ‘what would I do with this’ has, for a long time, been research. I work in a cognitive neuropsychology research lab currently and absolutely adore it. Still, I know this isn’t the only possible path for me. I’m very open to where the future will take me.” “I’m an avid runner. For an hour, there’s nothing but me, my feet, and a good playlist. It’s cathartic and makes me feel powerful. Plus, it allows me to eat ridiculous quantities of raspberry sorbet. I’ll call it a win all around.” “Because of Alpha Phi, I have a loving home to return to when times get tough. I have the strength to dive into new challenges. I have the courage to do what I know is right for me, my community, and ultimately, the world I live in. I know that no matter what happens, I’ll always have a group of close friends to go back to. That’s such a powerful idea. It’s incredibly freeing.”

“FitMango is, by far, the most challenging endeavor I’ve ever been involved with. Regardless, I haven’t regretted a second. There’s nothing more inspiring than being in a room full of passionate people, all stopping at nothing for a common goal. There’s no greater feeling than when you realize, ‘Hey, I can do this!’” “At Hopkins, I’ve found my people. Everyone is driven. Everyone has insane schedules. Everyone has cried in the library bathroom. All in all, I wouldn’t trade this place for the world—the good, the bad, the long library nights, none of it.” “While it’s good to plan for the future and have goals and aspirations, I also recognize there’s so much to be gained by simply soaking in the present moment and all the incredible people around you. I figure it’s probably a good thing I admit I don’t have this all figured out. Maybe then someone else will say they don’t really know either.”

FACT FILE Name: Hannah Cowley School: Johns Hopkins University Major: Cognitive Science & Computer Science Year: Junior Sorority: Alpha Phi Hometown: Charlton, NY




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JASON GOLDENBERG The Incredible Strongman

By Mallory Arnold, Ohio University // Photography by Diego A. Ferradas

Not only is Jason Goldenberg biking across the country, he’s strong enough to do it for those that can’t. Talking with Jason Goldenberg is a rare treat considering he’s always moving. No, seriously. He’s constantly moving. Goldenberg is a part of Pi Kappa Phi’s National Philanthropy event called Journey Of Hope, a 3,600mile bike ride from San Francisco to Washington D.C. that raises funds and awareness for people with disabilities. When the group isn’t bike riding, they’re stopping at local organizations that support people with disabilities to hang out, play basketball and spend time with each other. Mallory Arnold: What inspired you to do this? Jason Goldenberg: I was actually the first person in my Greek chapter at the University of Miami to participate,

which was a daunting task because I didn’t know what to expect. I did it because all the guys in my chapter really push themselves to be awesome people, and this is my way to break the mold and hopefully encourage others to do it. It’s been tough, but the trip has been so worth it. MA: Have you always been a biker? JG: I was a rower in high school and actually won a national championship twice, so I’ve always been an athlete. But I got my first bike last summer. I have a buddy who is a triathlete who taught me how to use the bike and really helped me prepare for the journey. I did 1,200 miles of training, and he did every single one of them with me.

MA: How long are you riding a day? JG: It all depends on the terrain. We’re going through the mountains of Nevada right now, so a little slower. The shortest day we’ve ridden was two and a half hours, and the longest took twelve hours. MA: What is most challenging about the journey? JG: It is difficult being away from home, especially with trying to apply to medical school this summer—and of course cycling isn’t always the easiest thing in the world. We’ve done 10 days of riding and put in 550 miles already. MA: What is most rewarding? JG: Even though it’s tough, everyone has a great attitude and we push each other in positive ways. It makes it all worth it when we stop to hang out with groups that support the disabled community and we see the smile on peoples’ faces. I wasn’t expecting that whatsoever. It’s like these people light up when you walk through the door, like you’re a superhero. And what’s crazy is that at the end of the day they’re helping me just as much as I’m helping them.

FACT FILE: Name: Jason Goldenberg School: University of Miami Major: BioChemistry Year: Senior Fraternity: Pi Kappa Phi Hometown: Moorestown, NJ

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KAITLIN HATTON The Remarkable Siamese Twin

By Mallory Arnold, Ohio University Photography by Kaitlin Hatton, Ohio University

After creating a photography campaign that combats negative stereotypes, Kaitlin Hatton has proved that no two Greek students are the same. When Kaitlin Hatton went through Greek recruitment, she immediately fell in love with the sorority Delta Gamma. Then when the sorority’s PR chair, Elizabeth Harris, came to her with an idea about breaking sorority stereotypes, Hatton dove headfirst into the brainstorming and planning of a project that would later became a huge hit across the country. The concept, a photo project that displayed images of DG women breaking the negative stereotypes of sorority sisters, inspired similar projects throughout the country. Hatton was excited to have the opportunity to be vulnerable and show that Greek women aren’t made up of stereotypes. Because the message resonated not just with sorority sisters, but with anyone upset with inaccurate generalizations, the movement went viral social media, even landing Hatton an appearance on “The Today Show.”


School: Ohio University

Name: Kaitlin Hatton

Major: Commercial Photography



“I waited until my sophomore year to go through recruitment because I wanted to be sure it was right for me. Although I had a spectacular freshman year, I felt a true connection to the campus and to others was missing. Coming from a small town, nothing was more important to me than finding a community. When going through recruitment, I instantly fell in love with Delta Gamma. I connected immediately but it was the philanthropy that sold me, Service for Sight. My great uncle has a degenerative eye disease that has caused him to be almost entirely blind, so being in an organization that had an outstanding foundation built for those with vision impairments was really important to me.”

“In my photograph, my stereotype was that people say sorority women won’t be successful and I’ve already proven to myself and to others many times over that Delta Gamma has only pushed me to thrive in everything I do.”

HOW DID YOUR SORORITY SISTERS REACT TO THE PROJECT? “Everyone was very inspired and excited about the project. Many of our sisters were actually disappointed that they couldn’t join in due to scheduling conflicts so it really had a positive impact. “ HOW DID THE MEDIA REACT TO THE PROJECT? WAS IT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE? “We had both positive and negative reactions to the project. We had a much more positive response though, and it was overwhelming how humbling all the encouraging words were.“

WHAT DID YOU LEARN AFTER SHARING THE PHOTO PROJECT WITH THE WORLD? “I learned something small with a great meaning can have a mind-blowing impact. Not everyone has the opportunity or the privilege to piece together a campaign such as this, but having been given this chance was so rewarding. The world seeing this project meant that we were allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to take both compliment and criticism with grace, and to give Greek life a fighting chance at still being held in an honorable light.” WHAT MESSAGE DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO FEEL FROM THE PHOTO PROJECT? “Our chapter wants people to understand that we are not the stereotypes we’ve been portrayed as.”

Year: Senior Sorority: Delta Gamma Hometown: Athens, OH




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FACT FILE Name: Chelsea Whittington School: Texas State University Major: Art Education Year: Senior Sorority: Chi Beta Delta Hometown: Hurst, Texas

CHELSEA WHITTINGTON The Astounding Escape Artist By Emily Suvannasankha, University of Central Florida Photography by Justin Leal, Texas State University

By breaking the handcuffs of childhood hardship, Whittington has helped children become their own escape artists. Nothing inspires the pressing urge to escape quite like the unwieldy trials of growing up. But while kids don’t have much of a choice about how many Cuddle Me Elmos are under the Christmas tree or whether that cute girl with the pigtails will trade for the last pack of Fruit Gushers, they do have the power to channel their emotions into art and creativity. Chelsea Whittington, a senior at Texas State University and proud advocate for creative empowerment, transformed into a breathtaking escape artist during her internship at Art Feeds. Her service-based sorority, Chi Beta Delta, is a house of Texas State’s most benevolent heroines

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willing to dedicate their own time and resources to the ever-worthy cause of making this world suck a little less. Art Feeds is an organization that encourages elementary school kids to color furiously outside the lines through therapeutic art opportunities both in and out of the classroom. Their number-one rule: “Never say ‘I can’t.’ Always say, ‘I’ll try.’” Volunteers like Chelsea burst into classrooms armed with 120-packs of crayons, giant balloons and pipe cleaners with which to twist and scribble on the giant fish tank of cold reality. These masters of escapology teach little ones how to rip off the confining handcuffs of adversities both big and small, from childhood poverty to getting a dud pack of Pokémon cards, setting them free to express themselves. The Harry Houdinis of Art Feeds

make sure kids know that they can dare to think outside the little boxes of animal crackers the PTA moms pass out at snack time—and still be smart. “What I want to do in my life is make sure the people around me know they’re valuable and can achieve whatever they want,” says Whittington, who changed her major to Art Education after interning at Art Feeds. “If you can problem-solve, you can do anything.” No longer will kids be sawed in half by the growing pains of childhood, handily triple-padlocked in a tank full of fearful uncertainty or blindfolded from the escape route of self-expression. Instead, thanks to Whittington and Art Feeds, they can bob freely above the surface of their own watery demise, knowing they have the power to break the cuffs themselves…just jimmy the lock with some pink safety scissors.

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CAMPUS CARRY // By Jessica Peña, University of Texas at San Antonio


What Campus Carry Means


• Any eligible student 21 or older may obtain a license and carry a concealed handgun anywhere on a university campus. Licensed holders have been allowed to carry concealed handguns on campus since 1995—just not inside buildings.

n June 1st, 2015, Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed Senate Bill 11 into law, allowing licensed holders to carry a concealed handgun on university campuses. The law–which was vehemently protested by students and faculty across the state–went into effect on August 1, 2016. Given its unpopularity, campus carry feels more like an edict than a piece of legislation, though the new law does allow public universities some control over their destiny. So long as regulations do not effectively prohibit weapons on campus, schools are sanctioned to enforce rules regarding the storage of handguns in dorms and the carrying of handguns on campus. While allowing a bunch of stressed young adults to carry lethal weapons may seem ill advised, the uncertainty that the law has created is all the more reason to be informed and know what you can do to feel safe.

• Students of age who apply for a concealed handgun license must meet a strict set of requirements in order to obtain it. For example, having been a resident of the state for the preceding six months and never having been convicted of a felony. • No universities may completely ban or prohibit license holders from carrying concealed handguns on campus, except for in expressly prohibited areas. • Universities still have the right to deem certain buildings and areas on campus to remain gun free, such as counseling buildings or other highly emotional environments. • License holders will be required to show identification if asked by a magistrate or peace officer, but not by anyone else. • Only handguns (pistols, revolvers, or other firearms with barrels shorter than twelve inches) will be allowed on campus. • Professors will not have the authority to ban license holders from carrying handguns in their personal offices or classrooms.

... & BULLSH*T

What Campus Carry Doesn’t Mean • Not just anyone can carry a handgun on campus—the law only applies to those who are legal license holders. • Any gun that is not a handgun (shotguns, rifles, automatic or semi-automatic weapons) is still strictly prohibited even for license holders. • Open carry is not a part of the new law. Any visible weapon should be reported to the proper authorities immediately. • Licensed students who choose to carry a concealed handgun will not be tracked or monitored by the university. Neither will they have to report to anyone that they are carrying a weapon unless asked by an official.


Colorado passes the Concealed Carry Act, making the licensed carry of concealed weapons on Colorado campuses legal.


Three students, Tracy Bridges, Todd Ross and Ted Besen, subdue and handcuff active shooter Peter Odighizuwa after he opens fire at the Appalachian School of Law in Virginia, killing three people and injuring three more.


Luke Woodham arrives at Pearl Junior High School in Pearl, Mississippi, after murdering his mother. He then fatally shoots two students and injures seven. He is stopped by the Vice Principal, who has his own handgun in his car.




With enhanced carry permits (which require more rigorous training), the licensed carry of firearms becomes legal on Mississippi campuses, but remains prohibited in dorms, event centers and dining halls.

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CAMPUS CARRY // By Jessica Peña, University of Texas at San Antonio


hough campus carry is already in effect, students can still take action in a variety of ways. You may oppose the law, such as Texas A&M student Isaac Garcia who thinks that “There are better solutions to campus shootings,” or you may support it, such as Aggie alumna Hanah Georges, who said that an attempt by schools to ban weapons “is taking away student rights and exposing them to potential threats.” Whatever your position, your opinions, feelings and safety matter.



You are not alone, so gather others around you who feel the same way and are interested in taking action against the law. University of Texas at Austin graduate Jessica Jin has organized the now-infamous “Cocks Not Glocks” movement, in which students plan to carry dildos to campus on August 24th. Jin says, “You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play.” Speak to your school’s Dean about when and where a protest may be held, the requirements for putting together a petition, or make yourself heard by writing a letter to your area’s legislature.

If everyone around you is going to carry around a gun, it might be best to get one yourself. With the proper identification, paperwork and requirements met, you can apply online with the Texas Department of Public Safety for a license to carry a concealed handgun. If a piece of paper isn’t enough to make you feel prepared, you can always register for gun safety and shooting classes at your local range. Though you must be 21-years old to get your license, you can get educated on gun safety no matter your age.

There are plenty of ways for you to get information on the new law, how it may affect you and the way it will be implemented at your university. For general information, you can visit to learn about what campus carry means. For details on the bill specific to your school, pay a visit to your university’s own website, or go in person to see your chancellor or campus authorities about any questions you might have regarding the new policy. In a situation that may make you feel powerless, remember that knowledge and information is power in and of itself.

While the new policy is intended to keep students and faculty safe, there have been mixed emotions about this claim. “From a psychiatric and counseling point of view, I am concerned that ready access to lethal means will increase the suicide and homicide violence that is potentially there,” says Maggie Gartner, Executive Director of A&M’s Student Counseling Services. It is important that you feel safe in an environment of learning, and in order to do so, you need to be able to recognize a dangerous situation, know how to react and be able to take action. The Department of Homeland Security offers training and resources for anyone interested in becoming educated about active shooter situations.


The state of Wisconsin requires all colleges to allow the licensed possession of concealed handguns on campus. However, the state retains the right to prohibit weapons inside buildings.

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Similar to Wisconsin, Oregon calls for all colleges to allow the licensed carry of handguns on campus, but still gives schools the right to prohibit weapons inside of buildings by hanging signs at every entrance.

Arkansas allows for the licensed possession of concealed handguns on campus, while still allowing campuses the right to decide whether or not to comply on an annual basis.

CAMPUS CARRY // By Olivia W. McCoy, University of Georgia

Have you heard the saying, “Fight fire with fire”? If there were a situation in which an armed assailant needed to be stopped, most observers would look toward the adult trained and licensed to carry a firearm for protection. In short, campus carry has been put into place for self-defense. Assuming that someone who has jumped through the hoops and completed the requirements to own firearms would act rashly expresses doubt in the ability of gun education to work, a belief that is necessary for any future involving legal firearms. Citizens who are licensed to carry weapons are fundamentally different than those who have abused illegal avenues for firearms. Those who have followed lawful means for acquiring guns have gone through a rigorous process in order to feel secure and make others feel safe as well. With all that has gone on in the last forty years—referring specifically to college campuses—students must ask themselves what the outcomes might have been had a student or teacher been legally allowed to protect their classmates. I understand the reflex to expect the worst from people, but perhaps students choosing to carry weapons think the same way, and are only strapping on firearms in order to combat the worst possible scenarios?



“I think it’s going to make it very much harder to hire faculty, and essentially what the legislature did was worsen the quality of higher education in the state of Texas.”

UT CHANCELLOR WILLIAM MCRAVEN: “I have been shot at before. Consequently, [I believe that] having another armed individual in the middle of an active shooter profile could in some cases create more confusion than helping to resolve the problem.”

Kansas state legislation allows firearms on universities solely for the purpose of security, unless the school’s own security was deemed adequate.


“I don’t think UT will suddenly become the ‘Wild West’ with open carry and guns flying.”

UT PROFESSOR OF PHARMACOLOGY AND TOXICOLOGY ANDREA GORE: “The perception is certainly worse than the reality.”

UT LAW STUDENT JUSTIN STONE: “I do not want to have to use my firearm, but I am not afraid to do so. That being said, we are not vigilantes.”

Guns are intimidating, especially when you understand just how unpredictable people can be. It’s not as if we expect a licensed carrier to just whip it out and start shooting, but when fear is an added component to any situation—either dangerous or perceived as such— people act irrationally. Even if the carrier were acting in self-defense, all they’re doing statistically is adding to the bullet count and raising the risk of injury. Even if there were a shooter, targeting the guilty party has the possibility of aggravating whatever fear or anger is driving them, making the mental state of the disturbed individual even more precarious. Guns create an apprehensive atmosphere, and in an environment in which students are expected to learn and teachers expected to expound, the anticipation of a threat distracts from the institution’s goals. Any situation involving firearms is unpredictable. Even with good intentions, a proponent of self defense can still act rashly and find themselves wildly unprepared. No one can be sure of how they will react if put in harm’s way, and to assume that students will make the correct decision is unrealistic.

A student at the University of Southern Mississippi, Blake Ballard (an enhanced carry permit holder), shoots himself in the thigh. No one else was injured.


“Should I redo my sign and say no liquids or guns allowed?”




The state of Utah deems that the regulation of handgun possession on campuses is up to individual schools, but declares complete prohibition of a licensed firearm unlawful. Universities still have the right to ban guns from specific areas.

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CAMPUS CARRY // By Olivia W. McCoy, University of Georgia TROLL PATROL The 5 most ignorant comments on Jin’s “Campus (Dildo) Carry” Facebook page.

TONY LIN 11/29/15 “My ‘’penis’ protects me by making holes on bad guy’s ass however libtard’s penis can only insert sperm in wife’s c*nt..’ CORBIN SKYSWALKER 12/21/15 “F*ck you and your ignorant article bashing our 2nd amendment rights you stupid liberal c*nt. I hope you are mugged and stabbed to death or brained with a hammer. Your dying breaths will be exhaled with screams calling for someone with a gun to come and save you.”


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CHRIS NELSON 03/14/16 You’re an abysmal idiot trying to compare (a) this “political statement” to “Common Sense”... and (b) comparing this issue to the American Revolution! I hope you are alive to suffer the results of gun control when it happens... and it will happen!” CHARLES STRICKLAND 11/23/15 · “Is this a cucks anonymous page? I’m asking because I see a bunch of pussified ‘males’ behind cartoon profile pictures.”


At the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh, a single shot is fired in the midst of a heated altercation at a dance. There are no recorded injuries.



Close your eyes and imagine a world in which glittery dicks, bedazzled cock busters, neon phalluses flapping in the faces of naysayers and penis jokes can make people feel more unsettled than firearms. Open your eyes. Though it seems unreal, what started as a prank spurred by a wisecrack has grown into a full blown war to see who can make the other side more uncomfortable. As a result, Jessica Jin’s “Campus (Dildo) Carry” event is set to take place on August 24th at the University of Texas at Austin. “A lot of the work right now is scrambling to get the [dildo] supply into Austin and then plotting some sort of scheme to distribute thousands of dildos out to thousands of students before the first day of school,” Jin laughs. 10,000 students have already marked the protest on their calendars and are ready to strap on the biggest, gaudiest dildo they can find. In fact, there are actually whole posts dedicated to finding and decorating their prosthetic cocks. After the UT graduate decided to pack a different kind of heat as a prank, Jin’s protest began in earnest. The movement quickly grew into an ordeal after commentary from the people it made uncomfortable—can you say penial insecurity?—began fueling the discussion. “It’s really easy to crack a joke, but it’s much harder to execute on that joke when you didn’t really plan for it to amount to anything from the start,” Jin says, though it’s obvious that adding to the controversy was too hard to resist. So if the mood suits you, dig that flappity boy toy out of your closet and stand it erect as your emblem of defiance. Gun lovers, make way for a new breed of recoil.

FRANK DILBURG 02/01/16 “Pot calling the kettle black now yeah? How about your obsession with anti-gun hysteria? No posts on that yet nor will there ever be. You f*cking hipster pieces of shit. Always one side of the story. Us adults just laugh at your autistic rants. Keep trying, maybe someday you will “Ban all the guns”! LULZ!”

A fatal shooting occurs at Wichita State University in Kansas when Eboni Fingal shoots Rayan Ibrahim Baba outside of his dorm.

Governor of Texas Greg Abbot signs Campus Carry into law, permitting licensed concealed handguns on campus while allowing private universities the option to comply or not.


THE PRICE OF PROTECTION What implementing campus carry will cost Texas schools.


Statistics courtesy “The Texas Tribune”

According to fiscal analyses drawn up by Texas’ higher education systems, the estimated costs of implementing campus carry will cost the state nearly $59 million over the next six years. Spending will pay for everything from updating security systems and building gun storage facilities, to hosting officer training programs and student awareness initiatives. According to the “Houston Chronicle,” health and research institutions will be particularly hard hit. The University of Texas’ M.D. Anderson Cancer Center’s University Police Department will have to spend around $22 million to implement the laws. Julie Penne, a spokeswoman for M.D. Anderson, said the costs “would be covered out of proceeds from patient revenue, which would normally go toward cancer research, education and prevention efforts.” In other words, the cost of campus carry will siphon money away from cancer research into readying the school for the presence of firearms. Aside from redirecting current funding, the new laws will be partially paid for by Texas taxpayers, as well as by students and their families through tuition increases and fees. This means that despite staggeringly low student support, as evidenced by surveys such as the 2013 Ball State University poll that found 78 percent of students opposed concealed handguns on campus, firearms will not only be on college grounds, their presence will be disproportionately bankrolled by the students who opposed them. What’s more, students that were too young to vote and future generations of undergrads will be forced to live with lawmakers’ decision, one in which they had no voice, as well as one they statistically oppose and financially bear.







Opting Out of Campus Carry Other (Undecided, Non-Respondents, Practicing the “Opt Out, Authorize In“ Policy)



Shannon Lamb shoots his girlfriend at home in Mississippi, then drives to Delta State University and shoots professor Ethan Schmidt, before then taking his own life.




Adopting Campus Carry

Enhanced carry permit holder professor Byron Bennet of Idaho State University has a gun go off in his pocket while teaching. The shot injures his foot.


A deadly shooting occurs at Umpqua Community College in Oregon when Chris Harper-Mercer shoots ten people. By this time, Oregon universities have prohibited campus carry.

A UGU S T 2 0 1 6 || 41 41



Given his cargo shorts, the t-shirt of this steely-eyed young bigot-tobe is really just redundant.

In the same vein, Guy de Maupassant hated the Eiffel Tower so much that he ate lunch at its base every day just to avoid seeing its unavoidable profile.

When fate curbs your shot at the afterlife by denying you a soul, “Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven” has to happen through the political process.

Like some deviant sequel to “The Mask,” the orangutanish headpiece somehow induces severe ED in both men and women.

42 | A U G U S T


Photography by Justin Leal, Texas State University


What nightmares of falling and drowning are to most people, the image of a patriotic Latino with a means of being heard is to Donald Trump.

Even if Gordon Gecko went on a bender and fucked every last member of MTV’s “Road Rules,” the combined douche rating of those repulsive offspring would still pale in comparison to that smirk.

The Crown and the Faith are the twin pillars upon which the world rests.

One of these signs raises valid questions about the integrity and personal merit of candidate Donald J. Trump, and the other is a stupid wordplay that’s confusing and stupid.



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A Note on the Release of “XCOM 2” By Al Vanderklipp, Universit y of Michigan

The sequel to 2012’s “XCOM: Enemy Unknown” releases on XBOX ONE and PlayStation 4 on September 4th.

Official Memorandum to the XCOM Council of Nations from Former Commander Vanderklipp Re: “Please Take Me Back”

Esteemed Members of the Council, It has been three years since my termination from the XCOM project. In my final performance review, you primarily blamed me for the alien takeover of Earth, using harsh language like “basic disregard for human life,” “warped sense of humor” and “general incompetence.” (In my defense, no one told me how the aircraft development program in the Hangar worked, so I ignored it.)

44 | A U G U S T


I will admit that I abused my power to award customizable medals in order to simultaneously empower and demean my troops. Recipients of the “Sloppy Joe Award” were provided an aim advantage from high cover. “You’re Wearing THAT?” brought +5 defense to my most poorly dressed soldiers, and my most seasoned veterans were honored with the health-boosting “Lifetime Bedwetter Badge.” And no, I am not proud

that I nicknamed our world’s top soldiers by the names of my favorite foods, but believe me when I say that I was just as distraught as the great nation of Latvia when “Whiskey” Salander and “Beans” Andersson were impregnated with alien spider spawn, and as tearfully proud as all of Argentina when Lt. “Raisin Bran” Alvarez sacrificed himself with a shredder rocket to take out a horde of drooling Mutons. I ask the council to remember that it was under my command that the nanomachinerich compound “Meld” was discovered, allowing for the rapid expansion of the Genetic and Cybernetic Modification programs. When does a human cease being human? Is it wrong to remove someone’s tactile senses for a combat advantage? Will these monsters ever learn to love again? These were the kind of ethical questions I cheerfully ignored as I submerged soldier after soldier in the glowing orange goo. So yeah, maybe I spent all of our money on extra scientists in a misguided attempt to get the luscious Dr. Valen to love me. Maybe I placed the nuclear reactor a little too close to the employee rec room, and maybe I ignored distress calls from India because of a curryrelated food-poisoning grudge. Heck, I’ll even admit that I probably am the person most responsible for the takeover of Earth by the omniscient “Ethereal” Alien class. But it’s time we put our petty disagreements behind us. In my early reports to the council, I referenced my troops’ run-ins with grotesque species such as “Purple Dudes,” “Big Frisbees” and the dreaded “Hulking Dribbler.” Things are much worse now. Our race is oppressed by a hyper-intelligent and deceptive regime of human-alien hybrids. Distressingly sexy cobra women now patrol the streets of our planet’s once-great cities. Last I heard, XCOM was forced into hiding in a mobile command unit, reduced to a paltry resistance movement in the face of an increasingly brutal extraterrestrial dictatorship. If you’ll have me back, I swear I will take this role seriously. I will not check my phone during combat missions, and I will not try to make the soldiers kiss. I am mature enough to want to lead our forces to victory in a dignified and respectful manner. Plus, I heard you guys started giving large swords to the new recruits and frankly, that sounds dope. Regards, Fmr. Commander Al “Casserole” Vanderklipp

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ELISSAKARIM By Lind sey Davi s, Iowa State Universit y Photography by Kiana Kraf t, Polytechnic State Universit y at San Lui s Obi spo

The 20-year old Cornell College student is making waves through her role with Global Zero, a group that has created an international movement to eliminate nuclear weapons. In 2015, Global Zero sent Karim and one other delegate to Japan for the 70th anniversary of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Karim will begin an internship at Global Zero’s office in Washington D.C. this fall.


“I probably talked about the bombings of Japan in class or something, and I went home and I talked to my dad. I was shocked, even as an eight or nine-year old, that we dropped these massive destructive bombs on another country and killed so many people. To me, it seemed mean.” “I was interested in what Global Zero was about based on that it’s a non-profit, political activist group that focuses a lot on lobbying legislation and affecting public opinion. I was really interested in that combination of those two things, and I hadn’t seen that before.” “I thought ‘Wow, there’s a lot of people who see nuclear weapons as a major threat, a big problem, and see it as the oppressive force that I did.’” “When I got off the train in Hiroshima, I felt the magnitude of what had happened there. There was this definite sense of immense loss.” “Going into the museums and seeing the artifacts, suddenly you’re realizing what was actually happening. There’s no longer this distance that we have in the US in both time and space. Now it’s in front of your face.” “I didn’t know how I was going to feel. Being an American in Hiroshima on the anniversary, I wasn’t sure what that was going to be like either. I ended up being really amazed by the Japanese ability to turn this event into a symbol of why we need peace.” “When I was in Nagasaki, it hit me that we chose to do it [the bombing] a second time.” “Feeling sad is a feeling that I don’t think a lot of Americans get to experience. We feel so far away from it.” “I’ve written down these [survivors’] stories and now I’m one of a select group of people in the world who have heard these people talk and who have experienced looking at them as they tell their stories.” “Most of them that tell their stories are in their 80s and are damaged by their experience of being there at that moment. A lot of them are not going to live much longer.” “I feel the obligation to explain their stories.” “If I hadn’t gone to Cornell College, I definitely wouldn’t be involved with Global Zero. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to speak to these presidential candidates.” “As a politics major, that’s amazing in general. If I hadn’t been involved with Global Zero, I may not have gone to the caucuses. I get to have a purpose. It’s all in layers. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do that anywhere else but in Iowa.” “I like the combination of non-profits and activism. I really like affecting legislation and talking to people about issues.” “I tell people I’d like to do some sort of advising in foreign policy. I don’t know how that would come about, but that’s my dream job.”

> > > > > > > > > > > > > >

46 | A U G U S T



Name: Elissa Karim Organization: “Global Zero,” a non-profit, political activist group moving to eliminate the world’s nuclear weapons. School: Cornell College in Mount Vernon, Iowa Major: Politics Year: Junior Hometown: Nevada City, California



| 47



Comparing the ills of Greek life, then and now

CLUB DUES VS. “OEDIPUS REX” AT STAKE: Exorbitant Cost CLAIM: According to “USA Today,” the average new sorority member pays $1,280 a semester, and the average new fraternity member pays $605 a semester.

WINNER: “Oedipus Rex.” Money comes and goes, but sleeping with your mom is forever. As the chorus reiterates at the play’s conclusion, no man should be considered fortunate until he is dead.

CLAIM: Though he became the king of Thebes, Oedipus unwittingly kills his father and sleeps with his mother.

HAZING VS. “ANTIGONE” AT STAKE: Cruel Initiation Rituals CLAIM: According to a 2008 study by researchers from the University of Maine, 73 percent of Greek students experience at least one hazing behavior.

WINNER: “ANTIGONE.” Creon’s edic t results in three suicides and a live burial, which tops even the most unsavor y chugging of lukewarm Nat ty Lites.

CLAIM: Creon, king of Thebes, declares that the corpse of Polyneices must be left unburied, forcing his sisters, Antigone and Ismene, to obey his command.

BINGE DRINKING VS. “THE ODYSSEY” AT STAKE: Alcohol Abuse CLAIM: According to the U.S. Department of Education, 75 percent of fraternity members and 62 percent of sorority members engage in heavy drinking.

WINNER: “The Odyssey.” Polyphemus was so drunk that he believed someone would ac tually name their child “No Man.”

CLAIM: Trapped in a cave with a cyclops eating his men, Odysseus gets Polyphemus drunk and then stabs his eye out with a sharpened timber.

RECKLESS BEHAVIOR VS. “THE SACK OF TROY” AT STAKE: Destruction of Property CLAIM: A frat party at a ski resort in Michigan reportedly caused $75,000 in damages by trashing rooms and hallways.

48 | A U G U S T


WINNER: “Reckless Behavior.” Given the dubious historicity of epic poems, Greek life in Michigan wins.

CLAIM: After the Greeks sack Troy all hell breaks loose, including murders at altars that were supposed to provide refuge, rape, the getting back of wives, infanticide and human sacrifice.




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Donald Trump’s Stance(s) on Campus Carry:

Great idea. Very Smart! Pg. 18

Poor Judgement. Bad Policy! Pg. 18

Lewis & Clark Student

C A M PUS C A R RY I S H E R E . D ON ’ T PA N IC Pg. 36

Discusses Making Movies Without Cameras



pg. 12

+ALSO: Medical Illustrators Have Gross Anatomy Pg. 20 #BudgetHack Your Fake ID Pg. 24 Drain These Toilet Beers Pg. 22

Study Breaks Magazine Austin August Issue  
Study Breaks Magazine Austin August Issue