Page 1

vo l 3 I ssu e 28 | F R I D AY, N o v 6, 2015

Dhaka Tribune

6

Wedding feasts

12

Child marriage

20

The Bong Momma


CONTENTS

Volume 3 | Issue 28 | Nov 6, 2015 News 2 News

Editor Zafar Sobhan

3 Meanwhile

Features

Features Editor Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

4 Handy chart

Asst Magazine Editor Farina Noireet Weekend Tribune Team Saudia Afrin Moumita Ahmed N Anita Amreen Faisal Mahmud Sakib Mridha Saqib Sarker Syeda Samira Sadeque Shuprova Tasneem Contributors Minu Ahmed Jennifer Ashraf

6 Food

Wedding Feasts

Colour Specialist Shekhar Mondal Advertisement Shahin Ahsan Production Masum Billah Circulation Masud Kabir Pavel Website dhakatribune.com/weekend facebook.com/WeekendTrib Email your letters to: weekend@dhakatribune.com

5 Beauty Talk Grooming

8 Handy chart Wedding Crashing

12 Focus Child marriage

9 Portfolio

15 Origin Story Muslim weddings

17 Post-Riposte

Wedding wear by AARONG

Extravagant events

Regulars 14 Legalese

Cartoonist Priyo Graphics Md Mahbub Alam Alamgir Hossain Tahsin Momin

Wedding gifts

16 Agony Aunt 18 Stay In 19 Go Out 20 The Bong Momma

Editor’s note Dear Readers, The first chill winds of winter usher in the madness and the glamour that is the wedding season. Whether you’re tying the knot this year, hosting a do, or putting on the ritz as a guest, we can all be agreed on the fact that weddings in Dhaka are a big deal. This week, we bring you, not just the requisite food, beauty and fashion tips surrounding the wedding industry, but a few other sides to the biyebari shindig. Not all of them are pretty. Like our story about child marriage, and the continued struggle for some girls to beat the tide.

There are some stories that are less grim, and more thought-provoking. Like our discussion on big weddings vs intimate affairs. Or our breakdown of who pays for what. And of course, there’s our guide to crashing weddings. But if you’re gasping for some glamour, we have a little of that as well. Aarong brings us a handy guide of what to wear as a wedding guest. And don’t miss our battle of the biriyani. Here’s wishing you a fabulous season of borhani, biriyani and bling  -Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

About the cover

Model: Tania Hossain Jasmin Photo: Zia Uddin Outfit: Sarah Karim

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5

1


2 News | This week Russian plane crashes in Sinai peninsula

Turkey’s ruling AKP wins elections

On October 31, a Russian plane

responsibility for bringing the plane

Turkey’s ruling Justice and

AK party claimed 317 seats in the

crashed on the Sinai peninsula in

down, experts have confirmed that

Development Party (AKP) has won

550-seat parliament, giving it 49.4%

Egypt, killing all 224 passengers on

it would have been impossible to do

a landslide victory in the November

of the vote – enough of a majority to

board. The Airbus A321, operated

so with a plane flying at that altitude,

1 election. Turkish President Recep

govern alone. In a statement after his

by the Russian airline Kogalymavia,

although there is still ongoing

Tayyip Erdogan called the vote after

party’s win, President Erdogan said

took off from Sharm el-Sheikh

speculation about whether there

airport and disappeared from radars

was a bomb on board.

22 minutes later. A senior Russian

Photo credit: BBC

aviation official has confirmed that

the AKP lost its parliamentary majority for the first time in 13 years in June

The world at a glance

the plane broke up in mid-air, but the reason for the crash remains a mystery. Although IS has claimed

and attempts to form a coalition government

the result “delivered an important message” to the outlawed Kurdistan Workers’ Party that “oppression and bloodshed cannot coexist with democracy.” Photo credit: Al Jazeera

failed. The

Weekend Tribune Desk

Deadly cyclone hits Yemen

Avijit’s publisher Dipan slain Faisal Arefin Dipan, whose

attacked by unidentified assailants

publishing house published books

in Lalmatia. Investigators have

Packing winds of more than

than 100,000 internally displaced

of slain writer-blogger Avijit Roy,

concluded that the two attacks

100km/h, Cyclone Chapala made

and 27,000 refugees. The Yemen

has been hacked to death inside

may well have taken place around

landfall in the southeastern

Post newspaper described the city

his Jagriti Prokashoni office at

the same time, and that they were

provinces of Hadramawt and

as being “under water,” saying on

the capital’s Aziz Supermarket

carried out by six people divided into

Shabwa in Yemen, a region already

Twitter that Chapala “drowns city

on Saturday. Only hours earlier,

two groups. The brutal attacks have

devastated by war. The area has

with 40 inches of water.”

Ahmedur Rashid Tutul, another

sparked outrage and protests locally

a combined population of about

Photo credit: Al Jazeera

one of Avijit’s publishers, along

and internationally.

with a blogger and a poet were also

Source: Dhaka Tribune

1.8 million people, including more

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5


. . . Meanwhile

3

Photo of the week

Words of wisdom at Kuala Lumpur International Airport Photo: Sakib Mridha

Handy chart

Wedding accounting 101 Who pays for what

Also, on the morning of the bride’s

so-popular gate dhora is an amount

There’s no doubt that we Bangalis

holud, the groom’s family provides two

which the groom pays to the younger

LOVE to be extravagant with everything

rui fishes that are stuffed with money

family members or friends of the bride

we do. When it comes to weddings, it

and dressed up as a couple, delivered

while he enters the venue. Similarly,

doesn’t matter whether one is a poor

by younger family members along with

the groom would have to pay more

farmer or an elite, we tend to go all out

ornaments made of flowers and the

if his shoes are mischievously stolen

on the celebrations, according to our

holud attire for the bride.

by the same. Make sure the amounts

economic abilities. But who pays for

have been negotiated before you

what? Well, if you intend to get married

Akht

anytime soon, let your accountant go

This is the ceremony where the official

there have been instances where the

on a vacation and read on.

registration of the union is completed

entire wedding was called off as the

by a kazi whose fees are to be taken

negotiations did not work out!

Paan-chini

care of by the groom’s side. Even

set out for the occasion, because,

This is when both the families meet

though the ritual is usually organised

Bou bhaat

and finalise the date of the marriage

by the bride’s family, the groom’s

Much like the biye, bou bhaat or the

and decide on the denmohor to be

kin usually brings khurma or dates

reception is a grand ceremony hosted

paid by the groom in terms of cash and

with sweets to be served after it is

by the groom’s family.

gold. The norm is, one of the groom’s

completed.

guardians presents the bride with a ring. Gaye holud

Biye

Whether to cut down on costs or to forgo the hassles of attending too many ceremonies, some prefer to

The biye is typically a ceremony hosted

organise the rituals as joint ventures.

When each of the sides host holuds

by the bride’s side but there are a

When this happens, the costs are

individually, it is on the hosts to

few costs which the groom’s family

divided equally or according to the

bear the costs of the arrangements.

needs to bear. In contrast to Western

number of guests of each party.

However, it is the other side’s

countries, the convention which we

However, this can lead to a lot of

responsibility to bring the turmeric

follow is for the bride to provide for

confusion and even quarreling, so you

paste along with clothes for the bride

the attire of close relatives of the

might want to recall your accountant

or groom and their family members.

groom’s and vice versa. The ever-

from his/her vacation at this point!

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


4 Handy chart | Wedding gifts

Wrapped with Love Places to get gift vouchers Moumita Ahmed

T

he wedding season is

everything here, so gift vouchers for

upon us, and soon you’ll

this store will work as an amazing gift

be receiving wedding

for the newly weds. Their stores are

invitations from your

situated in Kemal Attaturk Avenue and

friends, relatives, colleagues, your

Dhanmondi 27.

uncle’s wife’s cousin, and some other bunch of people you did not know

Cat’s Eye – Established as one of the

existed till now. And with those fancy

most trusted brands in Bangladesh,

invites, comes the huge responsibility

Cat’s Eye has a wide range of designer

of giving them something exquisite as

clothes for both men and women,

a gift.

including shoes and other accessories.

Suppose, it’s your dad’s assistant’s

They distribute gift vouchers worth

daughter’s wedding next week, and

Tk1000-Tk2000. Instead of presenting

you’re confused about what to get for

the couple with the conventional saree/

her. Should you get her an authentic

panjabi, why not give them vouchers

piece of jewellery or a memento or just

from this trendy fashion house? They

something nice to decorate her new

have many outlets all over Dhaka city.

house with? During these hard times, when you

Aarong – When it comes to wedding

are clueless and struggling, we suggest

presents, Aarong has always been the

you to go for gift vouchers instead

number one choice for us Bangladeshis.

of those typical presents that will be

From clay pots to diamond jewellery,

dumped in the store room without

silk and cotton fabrics to brass and

a second thought. Gift vouchers are

leather merchandise, they have it all.

prepaid stored-value money cards

All of these options only add to the

usually issued by retailers and can

confusion, so a better option would be

be used as an alternative to cash for

to give the newly weds gift coupons

purchases within particular stores. By

from this store, instead of hunting

doing this, you don’t have to worry

through hundreds of items and getting

about the person not liking your gift;

stressed. They have gift vouchers

you simply give them the gift vouchers

available in their different outlets

of particular stores, and they’ll pick the

in Gulshan, Dhanmondi, Lalmatia,

items they like themselves.

Tejgaon and many other places.

However, this is a rather unconventional custom in Bangladesh.

Diamond World Ltd – Planning to gift

People do not usually prefer giving

the newly weds an expensive piece of

vouchers as presents, hence there

jewellery, but confused on whether to

are not a huge number of stores who

give them an earring or a necklace or

provide this facility. Still, there are a

just a nose pin? Diamond World Ltd

few stores which distribute special gift

provides gift vouchers starting from

vouchers, and we are here to tell you

Tk1000-Tk50,000 and more, which

where you can find them.

are available at all their stores. So you don’t have to go through the trouble of

Aranya – Acknowledged as one of the

choosing a particular piece of jewellery

foremost traditional fashion experts

for the bride/groom, you can simply

in this region, Aranya is one of the

leave it to them. This is actually a

few stores where you will be able

far better option when it comes to

to find vouchers worth Tk500 each.

jewellery, since it’s difficult to assess

From clothings to household goods to

people’s personal tastes, especially if

jewellery, you can find anything and

you don’t know them all that well. n

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5

Photo: Bigstock


Grooming | Beauty Talk

Bridal Beauty Countdown A handy guide to prepping for your big day Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

Y

ou’ve got the rock on your

here’s a handy timeline to get you

finger, the sweet paan

into your best shape.

has been exchanged, the awkward financial

discussion done and dusted. As

5-6 months before •

Talk to your nutritionist and get

3-4 months before

2 weeks to go...

Book your hairstylist and makeup artist.

Have backup bookings made.

Get your final hair cut and colour.

Drink loads of water

wedding frenzy descends, it’s easy

yourself a meal plan. A good

to get swept up in the shopping,

diet that’s rich in fibres, greens

1 month ahead

1 week before

the invites, the bookings, and the

and other important nutrients,

Start testing out make-up

Get a final facial

endless number crunching that

is key to feeling fit and pretty.

products, and arrange to have

Get all your waxing and

Hit the gym, or at least, develop

them ready. Many make-up

a rigorous workout plan and

artists now encourage you to

stick to it.

bring your own base make-up/

The day before

Planning to grow out your hair

foundation, so you’re properly

Get your mani-pedi done.

personal grooming in mind, because

or try a new hair colour? Start

matched up. It’s also more

If your budget permits, get a

no amount of make-up can compete

now.

hygienic.

goes behind planning the event.

As the bride (or really, anyone who wants to look good on the day), it’s important to keep one’s health and

with a natural, healthy, well-rested

If you haven’t already, start a

threading done.

massage

Start cutting back on tea and

Up your water intake

glow.

good cleanse-tone-moisturise

coffee, and if possible, have

Exfoliate

To make sure you’re looking fly and

skincare programme now. Book

a teeth whitening treatment

Pack an emergency kit n

feeling fine during the festivities,

monthly facials.

done.

5


6 food | wedding feast

Battle of the

Biryanis

Who wins the war between the wedding Biryani gurus? N Anita Amreen

W

hen it comes to weddings – we’ve got an entire plethora of things we look forward to. There’s the glitz, the glamour, there’s the whole idea of winter chills too. However, more than anything else, what really gets us most excited about a wedding is – undoubtedly, the food. Namely, the kachhi. You can make your own kachhi, you can try your local baburchi’s kachhi and you can even travel all the way to Puran Dhaka for it but nothing has the ghee infused, rich, true blue flavour of a “biye kachhi.” That’s right – meat sliding off the bones in warm waves, the rice moist with ghee and the aloo just waiting to be smushed. And of course, the little surprises that come in the form of that odd aloo bukhara that makes an appearance – not in the serving plate, but in your mouth just as you are to go for that second mouthful. You take a pause, really letting it all mesh in, the sweetness of the aloo bukhara, the tender khashi and the full of flavour rice. There are very few of us who can’t help but love kachhi – there IS so MUCH to love, after all. It’s probably the only one-dish rice dish that needs no accompaniment. Yeah, we add some roast, we dump a pool of chutney and we chug it all down with some borhani, but really, it’s only because we can, not because we need to. We scourged through several Facebook groups, talked to those who’ve had their wedding kachhi’s slayed and those who haven’t. Read on to find out who made the cut when it came to the ultimate battle of the biryanis.

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5

Iqbal Catering Topping the charts without any debate

Theirs is a biryani you cannot complain

is the one and only Iqbal Catering.

about. One plate of Iqbal’s and you’re

Winning the most votes in most polls

left with that thirst only a solid wedding

found on Facebook groups and posts,

biryani leaves you with. As a catering

Iqbal is a true winner. While they always service that began business back in serve a killer biryani, what has secured

1987, they serve a lot more than just

them the number one position is their

perfect biryani. There’s Indian, Chinese

consistency. They’ve nailed every

and continental cuisine alongside the

criteria of the ideal wedding biryani.

regular wedding spread of chicken

Mutton to rice ratio is almost always

roast/tikka, beef curry, rezala etc.

2.5:1 with the meat so tender you want

Not only do they specialise in biryani

to make a meal out of it. The rice itself is

but they also offer you a full catering

well cooked, but never sticky or mushy.

package that includes everything from

The entire dish is one full of the rich

crockeries to napkins.

authenticity of a real wedding biryani.

Authorised venues

For more information contact:

Currently they have signed up with

http://iqbalcateringbd.com/

Bangabondhu International Conference

House # 15/2, Road # 6/A

Centre (BICC), KIB Convention Hall

Nobodoy Housing Society,

(Farmgate), International Convention

Mohammadpur

City Bashundhara (ICCB) in Khilkhet,

Dhaka 1207, Bangladesh.

RAOWA convention hall in Mohakhali,

Mobile: +880-171-152-3771, +880-171-

Hosaf Convention Center in Malibagh,

155-6575, +880-171-154-5452, +880-171-

Shimanto Convention Centre in Rifles

333-4044

Square Dhanmondi, Xinxian Chinese

Telephone: +880-2-912-0189, +880-2-

Restaurant (Mirpur) and Four Seasons

815-4980, +880-2-810-1357

Restaurant.


7

Subrat Ali If it weren’t for Shahjahan’s association

at the dinner party held in honour

Iqbal, they only specialise in making

Science Lab, Dhanmondi, Dhaka- 1205.

with the top three wedding venues,

of Indira Gandhi in Bangabhaban

biryani and biryani alone. This includes

info@subratali.com

Subrat Ali’s to-die-for biryani would

(Presidential house), his biryani had

Mutton Kachchi, Mutton Pakki, Beef

Mobile: 01617778034, 01617778033

have knocked Shahjahan out of the

everyone singing his praise for years to

Kachchi, Beef Pakki, Chicken Kachchi

Phone: 02-9664076, 02-9664074

number two listing. Subrat Ali’s

come. Awarded the “Best Cook” at the

and Chicken Pakki.

https://www.facebook.com/

culinary genius can be traced all the

International Curry Festival of Brick

way back to 150 years ago, when he

Lane in 2001, Subrat Ali passed away

For more information contact

earned international acclaim by cooking

in 2012, but he left his cooking legacy

Master Chef Subrat Ali

for VIPs, from nawabs to dignitaries

behind in the form of recipes handed

H#36, Flat#D3, Home Builders Plaza

to heads of states. As the master cook

down to his sons. Unlike Shahjahan and

(Behind Alpona Plaza), Mirpur Road

Shahjahan Coming in close second is Shahjahan

Authorised venues

Wedding Planner & Event Management.

BAF Shaheen Hall, Shaheed Moazzom

A close, close competitor of Iqbal’s,

Hall, Shenakunju, Trust Milonayoton.

Shahjahan also makes the biryani cut because of their flawless biryani and

For more information contact:

their consistency. With wedding venue

Shahjahan Wedding Planner & Event

bigwigs such as Shenakunju, Shaheen

Management Ltd.

Hall, Trust Milonayoton, Multipurpose

House -376/A , Road-28, (2nd Floor)

Hall under their belt, it’s only natural

New DOHS, Mohakhali ,Dhaka - 1206,

that they made it to the list of most

Bangladesh.

favoured biryani houses. If you are

Phone: (+88 02) 8714493 ,8713482

looking for a caterer and event manager

(+88) 01750 084310-17, 01911 800008,

that can easily take the load off your

01911 300003

shoulders, then this is probably it.

Email:info@shahjahanevents.com

masterchefsali/?hc_location=ufi http://subratali.com/

They nail the biryani and all your other catering needs while also having other event management services on offer.

4)Salam Baburchi “Salam Mia” or Salam Baburchi is lesser

For more information contact:

known than our top three, but definitely House#3,Road#14,Dhanmondi R/A. at par with them as far as the quality of

(Besides Plaza AR, Behind Sobhanbag

their biryani is concerned. Gathering

Mosque and opposite to Prince Plaza).

several unanimous votes in most polls,

Phone: +8801711523565

some even claim that Salam Baburchi’s food is better than Iqbal’s. Others say

Other worthy mentions include Kolkata

that his lack of advertising or social

Kachhi Ghor, Baburchi’s Biryani, Nanna

media presence has led him to take a

and Fakhruddin. n

backseat when it comes to topping lists.

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


8 Handy Chart | wedding Crashing

Wedding wander! Dos and don’ts of crashing a wedding Chisty Rahim

C

olours and in sparkles,

friends, used to buy congratulation

laughter and joy – a

cards and sign it with our first names.

typical wedding scenario

We packed it in a medium sized box,

Bangladesh is rich with

and wrapped it with fancy wrapping

culture and tradition. Crashing a

paper. Sometimes we would put in

wedding in Bangladesh is easy, as long

crystal balls and teddy bears and other

as you know what to do.

small gifts with our cards. Never get

Here, it’s all about how you present

a gift so large it may create a hassle

yourself. Let’s say you decide to crash a

when you enter through the gate. And

wedding on your way back from work.

then again, don’t take one too small

If you think you’re well put and your

to go unnoticed either. After all, first

attire suits the occasion, take the leap

impressions are of most importance.

and go for it. But always bear in mind

And it’s always the brother of the

that there are the chances of running

bride/groom or some relative who will

into a friend, relative or acquaintance,

welcome you at the gate. A gift to some

or falling under suspicion followed by

extent ensures that you do have an

interrogation. And in some cases, you

invitation and went through with all

maybe asked to show the invitation

the social customs.

card.

PS. Don’t ruin the happy couple’s

But that is the thrill of it, isn’t it?

day with a wrapped-up brick. Spend

If it wasn’t risky, it wouldn’t be fun

a little and keep it small, simple and

either. But just to avoid the disastrous

sweet. I am sure they will appreciate it.

circumstances of a wedding crash gone wrong, prepare and follow through.

Always bring company

Here are a few tips that might help:

Sitting all by yourself at a wedding

Dress up

is never a good feeling. It may draw

Photo: Shafquat Ameen

Know what to say

to have a getting-to-know-each-other

Prepare yourself to answer a few

conversation. Do not awkwardly walk

questions before you go crashing.

away from it. Unless the “friend of the

“Which side of the family are you from?”

bride/groom” doesn’t lose their interest in you, try to keep the conversation

unwanted attention by somehow

“Who are you here with?” etc.

as short as possible. Have your

Weddings are special occasions. So

creating the impression that you’re

There will always be one or two

companion move away from you and

dressing up is a must in order to

either bored or sad and the hosts will

curious relatives who will ask too many

call you on your phone. That will be

blend in. Suits for the guys and saris

always try to change that. And the last

questions just for the sake of knowing

your ticket out of there.

for the gals, and you’re good to go.

thing you want is to talk to a family

(not that they are suspicious or

But never over dress yourself with

member who knows almost everyone

anything). And if you manage to avoid

shiny garments. A little too much of

from both sides of the families. Then

them, sometimes there are relatives

Never stay at a wedding for too long

sparkle, and you may attract too much

again, whether on the dinner table or

(mostly male) who particularly stand

Before you crash a wedding always

unwanted attention, looking like the

elsewhere, people tend to greet and

and watch over making sure everyone

ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it

obnoxious aunt who always dolls up

converse with others who are sitting

is having a great time. The best answer

the food or is it the ambiance that you

more than the bride herself. Under-

all by themselves. Relatives from one

for such people is to say you’re a friend

love? Or is it simply because you just

dressing, on the other hand, may raise

side of the family try to get acquainted

of the bride or groom. Very few people

want the experience?

suspicion, unless you’re prepared to

with relatives from the other side. And

will have long conversations with the

sit at the table with the drivers and the

that is never good, unless you’re an

friends rather than the relatives.

butlers.

expert at fabricating relationships out

Which ever it is, never exceed an hour’s stay. With too many possibilities of getting caught, sixty minutes is just

of thin air. Even then, it is too risky

Try to avoid long conversations

with a high chance of getting caught.

As soon as you enter, smile! Weddings

place, meet and congratulate the bride

You don’t necessarily have to spend

Bringing company always keeps you

are joyous occasions, and a frown

and groom, indulge yourself in all the

a fortune to buy a gift for the happy

busy. Talk to your fellow crasher

never goes with it. Everybody is nice to

food, sit a while to let the food go down

couple. A crystal jar or a dinner set –

about “whatever”. Also, give off a vibe

everybody. So try to be nice and greet

(pun intended) and then get the heck

better yet, a simple congratulatory/

that you’re enjoying your time at the

people only when you have to. Every

out of there. n

thank you note. In my past days of

wedding and have all the company you

now and then you might come across

wedding crashing, I, along with my

need.

someone forcing themselves on you

Bring a well-wrapped gift

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5

enough time for you to check out the


Wedding wear by AARONG | Portfolio

9

Marriage material Photos: Zia Uddin Weddings are all about the bride. What outfits will she wear? What jewellery will match the outfits? Matching purses and shoes, hair and makeup and the list goes on and on. Alright. Fine – the groom matters too. Weddings centre around the bride and the groom and their ensembles which are planned out months and months ahead. Somewhere in this equation, family members of the couple find themselves hurrying last minute to find appropriate outfits for attending the wedding, friends try hard to not repeat the same outfits worn last wedding season, and all other guests wish their efforts put into dressing up matches the taste of the wedding biryani. We dedicate this spread to esteemed wedding guests, it is not your day, but you shall not go unobserved.

MOTKA SILK PANJABI, Aarong sandals and Nakshi Kantha silk sari Model: Marjan Hassan and Mimi Outfit and accessories: Aarong

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


10 Portfolio | Wedding wear BY aarong MIRPUR KATAN SILK accessories by Aarong Model: Tania Hossain Jasmin Outfit and accessories: Aarong

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5


11

HAND EMBROIDERY TASHAR SILK SARi accessories by Aarong Model: Afsara Outfit and accessories: Aarong

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


12 Focus | Child marriage

Korail’s warriors Meet the girls who halt child marriages in Dhaka’s biggest slum Syeda Samira Sadeque

L

ast month, 12-year-old

For girls, it leads to domestic abuse,

from the magistrate. She works with a

Rubina (not her real name)

and poses high risks to their health. It

group of 30 other young girls with the

was in the middle of a

also severely hampers their education

same mission.

wedding ceremony when

as many drop out of schools in order to

her life turned around.

maintain a family and take care of their

involved in, Shumi has been part of at

own children, according to a recent

least six missions where child marriage

Human Rights Watch (HRW) report.

was halted in Korail.

It was her own wedding, and her life

changed for the better. As Rubina waited decked up and

Child marriage has been illegal in

Through the two groups she’s

Selina and Shumi make sure to

dolled, for her kazi to arrive, a gang of

Bangladesh since 1929, with the Child

celebrate their successes as well. The

about 20 women, led by Selina Akhter,

Marriage Restraint Act (1929) placing

morning after they halted Rubina’s

walked in to her home in Korail slum.

the legal age for girls to marry at 18,

marriage, the VAWC Committee held a

and for boys at 21. Although there are

rally in Korail to celebrate their success

been tipped off about this marriage

penalties to child marriage that are

– one that Rubina herself joined.

ceremony taking place, and she was

applicable to both the groom as well as

But challenges remain.

here to halt it.

his guardians, this is largely ignored.

“You can’t always stop them

Selina, a local activist in Korail, had

Although Rubina, who had a relationship with 15-year-old Hashem,

Korail’s gang of girls

initially wanted to go ahead with the

Selina Akhter has been involved in

marriage, Selina’s team managed to

various development projects in

convince her out of it.

Korail since she moved here in 1994.

But it wasn’t easy, says

Today, she is the president of Violence

Meherunnessa Shumi, a student

Against Women and Children (VAWC)

and activist from Korail who works

Committee, a local committee formed

with various women’s organisations

as an extension of BRAC’s Snehalaya

in Korail to address issues of child

programme that has been operating in

marriage, women’s health, and

Korail since June 2014. Selina has been part of this

violence against women. “After we went, Selina spoke to the

committee for a year now, and says

guardians but they didn’t quite listen

that with her group, she has stopped at

so we had to call the police,” says

least three marriages – although they

Shumi.

were at much earlier stages.

The police then politely explained

Shumi, who works with Selina for

to Hashem and his family that they

the VAWC Committee as well as for the

could be arrested if they went ahead

Bangladesh National Women’s Lawyers

with the marriage. This convinced

Association’s Girl Forum project, has

Hashem and his family to accept Selina

been involved in this mission for three

and Shumi’s advice instead.

years.

Thus the marriage was halted.

The grim reality of child marriage in Bangladesh

“Our work is to end child marriage,” she tells me. “For this, we have legal assistance, we have support from magistrate Nuruzzaman Hossain, who

In Bangladesh, where 64% of girls

has the power to conduct a mobile

between the ages of 24-28 have been

court.”

married off before 18, the reality of child marriage is grim.

Photos: N Anita Amreen

She adds that when the police refuse to file a case, she seeks support

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5

Selina and Shumi led a rally against child marriage the day after halting Rubina’s wedding Photo: Courtesy


13 mind. She is, after all a child, not a

Starting from the parents – who

bride.

willingly marry their children off, to

“I explained to her that it won’t

the society that perpetuates shame

only harm her but in turn, would harm

around victims of harassment and

the country,” says Selina. “I explained

sexual abuse instead of holding

to her the realities of child marriage

accountable perpetrators, to girls who

– of her husband marrying someone

are made to romanticise the idea of

else, leaving her alone once they have

“marriage” from an early age, to the

children, which is often the case.”

kazis who, in the end, are the final stamp on a marriage – each member

This helped. Although Rubina’s mother had initially resisted Selina and Shumi’s advice, eventually she gave in as well. After having a long conversation with Rubina, Shumi says she understood that the reality behind Rubina’s decision to marry Hashem was much more complicated. “She’s the eldest of four siblings, and her mother is the sole earner of the family,” Shumi tells me. “That’s why the mother wanted to marry her off.” In fact, poverty is cited as one of the biggest reasons behind child marriage in Bangladesh, according to a Human Rights Watch report published in June this year. But with poverty, there lurks another reason: shame. The shame of harassment that many teenage girls begin to face at this age causes parents to marry their daughters off as well. This appears to be the bigger reality for Rubina’s case. Rubina,

Child marriage has been illegal in Bangladesh since 1929, with the Child Marriage Restraint Act (1929) placing the legal age for girls to marry at 18, and for boys at 21.

in a conversation with me, tells me she agreed to the marriage after a neighbour “spread rumors” about her because sometimes they elope,” says

Belal says he asks the parents for

Shumi, adding that in such a case, the

verification. However, with parents

This prompted both Hashem and

onus falls upon the kazi to stop them.

often being the biggest promoters of

his family to ask Rubina for her hand in

child marriage, this attempt to verify

marriage.

That is another challenge. In an area as vast as Korail slum, with 200,000

holds little significance since they

residents and a large portion of them

could easily lie their way out.

uneducated, it sometimes gets difficult to hold the kazis accountable - some of

Rubina’s ‘shame’

whom are not even authentic.

Three weeks since her marriage

and Hashem’s affair.

Once these rumors spread, Rubina’s grandmother used to beat her up, possibly because of the shame attached to it, says Shumi. Stuck at the crossroads between the

“Usually the kazi offices in Korail

ceremony was interrupted, Rubina

rumors, an abusive grandmother and

of the process needs to be held

are sub-offices – they don’t really have

is much more optimistic about life

poverty, Rubina caved.

responsible.

legal rights and are not eligible to

today. But, on the night of the incident,

Child marriage is currently a web

stamp on the paperwork,” Shumi tells

Rubina had been excited about

Rubina’s dreams

that needs to be deconstructed through

me, adding that some of the kazis had

marrying Hashem, who she’d briefly

Today, as I sit with Rubina in a corner

each of these stages. The ICDDR,

admitted this to her when she spoke to

been in a relationship with.

of a schoolroom, she tells me that

B-Plan International Study further

Unlike many other cases of child

she wants to grow up to be a BRAC

shows there is a correlation between

marriages where children are forced to

teacher. Today, she worries about

drop in child marriage and access to

kazi is absent, so we walk to another

marry, Rubina had consented to this.

little things like the small infection

education – but this education needs

office, just a few feet away.

However, for a 12-year-old to “consent”

on her new nose-piercing, or her

to spread to the different corners of

to marriage holds little value since it

homework – not about having to resort

the web.

is unlikely that she would understand

to marriage because of a rumour in the

Meanwhile, nothing has stopped

them posing as a would-be bride. She takes us to an office where the

“We check the age of the couple before marrying them,” kazi Belal Hossain, who has been doing this for

the reality of child marriage at such an

neighbourhood. Today, she has dreams

Selina or Shumi. Although from two

25 years, tells me. “For this, we require

early age.

and fears a 12-year-old should have.

different generations, they both have

them to submit their voter ID, birth

In fact, that Rubina herself joined

the same agenda – and with that,

The reality of child marriage in

certificates – which they sometimes

the rally against child marriage less

Bangladesh is much more complex

they are fighting not just families and

don’t have.”

than 24 hours after her own marriage

than poverty or the shame attached to

parents, they are fighting an entire

ceremony was interrupted, is

harassment of young girls or the fear of

culture.

testament to the volatility of a child’s

sexual abuse and abduction of girls.

In cases when they don’t have a document verifying their age,

And so far, they seem to be winning. n

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


14 LEGALESE | Jennifer Ashraf

In The Swatch At No Ground Q

I have just returned from a wonderful trip to the Swatch of No Ground, one of the few

untouched areas of natural beauty close to Bangladesh. The place is teeming with amazing marine life – dolphins and porpoises galore. We were also quite lucky to see a whale in the distance. Our tour guide was also pretty knowledgeable and kept us mesmerised. However, one of the comments he made disturbed me a little. He mentioned that although this area has been recognised as a “Marine Protected Area,” chances are that it would not be properly protected, mainly owing to the fact that no laws currently exist to protect this place. Is this true? What kind of legal provisions would aid in the conservation of this beautiful area?

A

Dear Reader, Thank you for writing in and expressing your concern. It is always

wonderful to see our citizens being so genuinely concerned in the protection and conservation of our

Illustration: Priyo/Dhaka Tribune

natural resources and the Swatch of No Ground (since identified as a Marine Protected Area) ranks quite high in

stakeholders are actually involved and

empowering and enabling them to

exploration within Marine Protected

the list of sites, where protection and

have a vested interested in relation to

improve safety at sea. Other provisions

Areas. Since this may not be practically

conservation is a must. Let us now

Marine Protected Areas. These include

may encourage collaboration of rescue

feasible, I advise on having very strict

explore the legal remedies available to

fishermen, BGP, Navy, coastguard,

and scientific data with fishermen,

legal safeguards before permitting oil

aid in the aforementioned protection

environmental societies, etc. to name

who are the stakeholders here at the

and gas exploration within a Marine

and conservation.

a few. The main complication that

baseline level. It is also advisable to

Protected Area. This could be done by

arises is the collaboration between

engage fishermen to be involved in

carefully analysing an Environmental

matter is that Marine Protected Area

these different stakeholders, which is

community patrols.

Impact Assessment (EIA) report and

legislation is a tad uncommon, even on

crucial to the successful protection and

an international level. The main reason

conservation of the Marine Protected

necessary to include incentives to

measures, before a permit is given by

for this is the fact that a multitude of

Area.

encourage fishermen to assist with

the Ministry of Environment for oil

legal enforcement within the Marine

and gas exploration. An important

be considered for Marine Protected

Protected Area. An example was

point to consider here would be the

Areas. It is important to discuss, in

allowing for a certain percentage of

preservation of threatened species.

detail, the methods to prevent and

fines being paid to the fishermen

discourage illegal fishing within

providing information which

of how it may be possible to ensure

restrictive areas. This could be done by

would eventually lead to arrest and

protection and conservation of the

providing fishermen with incentives,

prosecution. The aforementioned point

Swatch of No Ground. Let’s just hope

not cash incentives but sustainable

would also help with engaging local

some of these points can be manifested

ones. An example of an effective and

communities.

into reality very soon. Till then, let

Unfortunately, the sad truth of the

There are different legal aspects to

Jennifer Ashraf Kashmi is a barrister and solicitor of England and Wales. She is currently Senior Partner at Legacy Legal Corporate

compelling sustainable incentive could

Regarding incentives, it is

Since I’m a concerned

thoroughly reviewing mitigation

These are just a few examples

us all be concerned and responsible

be where fishermen were provided

environmentalist, I would strongly

tourists and each do our bit to protect

with GPS/ training and safety routes,

advocate the banning of oil and gas

our natural resources. n

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5


Muslim weddings | Origin Story

15

My big fat Bangladeshi wedding The evolution of Muslim weddings through time Faisal Mahmud

A

other cultures, except for in the sub

it is not to the family of the bride, but

crippling celebrations are totally in

continent. It seems to be in imitation

to the wife to keep for herself. Islamic

opposition to the spirit of Islam, and

of ancient Hindu culture (as almost all

law considers it haram for a husband,

are not necessary.

sub continental Muslims are basically

the groom’s family or the bride’s family

converted Hindus) in which daughters

to take the ‘Mahr’ of the bride without

bride’s family doesn’t need to spend

were not given any share in the family

her willful decision.

any big amount or need to arrange any

property, but were given payments,

Unfortunately, most of the Muslim

Islamic laws and rituals said that a

stupendous programmes. As marriage

s a predominantly

part of which might be in the form

families in Bangladesh somehow take

is basically a sad occasion for the

Muslim country,

of household goods, as a measure of

it lightly or don’t try to understand

bride’s family, since they are giving

marriages in Bangladesh

compensation. Islam however granted

the essence of it. In some cases, just

away a family member forever, the

should have been

daughters some share in their family

to show affluence, a big ‘Mahr’ is fixed

bride’s family is exempt from financial

simpler as Islamic

property and inheritance.

which is not being paid by the groom or

losses.

rituals require that the burden on

A ‘bride-price’ is either an amount

groom’s family to the bride before the

of money, goods or possessions given

marriages are anything but simple.

to the bride by the bride’s family at the

Marriages here are known for their

time of her marriage, in order to attract

Who’s paying for what?

extravagance. A lot of money and

a good husband for her. It would, in

Another area where a typical

programme and feeding their near and

effort are put through to organise food,

effect, become the property of the

Bangladeshi Muslim wedding deters

dear ones. That programme is called

decorate the venues, and sometimes,

husband or his family

a celebrity presence to show off the

upon his marrying

affluence of the families.

her. This is a

Interestingly, marriages in Semitic religions such as Islam, Christianity

wedding.

On the other hand, groom’s family

bride’s family be easy. But Bangladeshi

is getting a new member and they need to announce the arrival of this new member through arranging a

from an ‘Islamic wedding’, is the arrangement of

‘Walima’, bearing the financial burden for arranging that lies onto the family of groom.

totally un-

In Bangladesh however, a bride’s

Islamic

family usually needs to go through

and Judaism are basically holy bonds

a series of financial burden. First,

tightened under some holistic rituals.

they need to spend a good amount

In these religions, marriage is probably

of money when the groom’s family

the only ceremony where different

members first come to see the bride

religious functions are held at the

officially for the first time (be it an

center stage and are primary. The rest

arranged marriage or a love marriage).

– feeding guests, cultural programmes

Then the bride’s family needs to spend

and all other things are secondary.

another big amount on the occasion

From time immemorial, marriage

of ‘engagement’ if that didn’t happen

has been considered a ‘celebration’,

during the first visit.

not only for the bride and groom

Nowadays, ‘Akdt’ (the actual

but also for near and dear ones. And

marriage) and the marriage ceremony

its celebratory face, marked by rich

(Nikah) take place in two separate

cultural rituals and joyous programmes,

programmes. Nonetheless, the ‘Akdt’

somehow manage to supersede the

itself is another big programme and

religious spirit at times.

the bride’s family usually bears the

A typical Bangladeshi wedding is

financial cost of it. Then come two

a testament to that – at least in two

other programmes, ‘Gaye Holud’ and

areas…

Bride’s price or groom’s dowry?

the marriage ceremony. Again, it’s practice. In Islam, women

For long, Bangladeshi weddings have

are not ‘owned’ by

been associated with dowry, especially

their families and should not

in the rural region. In urban areas,

be ‘traded with’ in this manner.

dowry still plays a major part only in

the bride’s family who pays for those. Photo: Bigstock

Meanwhile, ‘dowry’ is not the

programmes. In the first era of

Lastly, there is another programme called ‘Firani’ where the groom (after

Islam, marriage was a simple

walima, groom stays at bride’s house

affair, without pomp or ceremony.

for some days) and brides are officially

Any expenditure incurred in its

taken back from the bride’s house for a

guise of sophisticated negotiations

appropriate translation of the word

performance was quite minimal, and

day or two.

between the two parties. Unfortunately,

‘Mahr’, and this particular word has

not a burden on either family.

The groom’s family usually arranges

here the dowry is needed to be paid

been a thing of misconception in

by the bride’s side and this custom of

Bangladesh. Islamic law commands a

and hardship can be caused by

(for the groom) and the ‘Walima’. So

giving dowry is not part of Islam.

groom to give the bride a gift called a

the enormous wedding feasts and

in a Bangladeshi Muslim wedding,

‘Mahr’ prior to the consummation of

celebrations which bring a most

the bride’s family needs to pay for six

never been sanctioned by Islam and

the marriage. A Mahr differs from the

unreasonable financial burden on

programmes, whereas the groom’s one

is not prevalent amongst Muslims of

standard meaning of bride price in that

the families concerned. Financially

needs to pay for two. n

In fact, it is a practice which has

Nowadays, much difficulty

two programmes: one is ‘Gaye Holud’

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


16 Advice | Agony Aunt Letters to Mars

Letters to Venus

Casanova in lust

Q

Too good to be true

I got out of a very serious, four year long relationship a year ago. Ever since I’ve lived quite an exciting, fulfilling life. I no longer have to worry about some clingy woman keeping tabs on my time or begging for my attention. I casually date those who I like, and occasionally flirt on

Tinder or Facebook. This is, for the most part, harmless since I just talk – I don’t get involved in serious relationships. There is this one girl, K, that I’ve been seeing on and off for the past two years. I’ve made it very clear to her that she is special and I AM exclusive to her (physically at least), but I don’t and cannot deal with the idea of labelling our relationship. I find the idea of labels very bothersome and pressurising. I want an open relationship but I know she’s too narrow minded to agree. What’s the best way to tell her I want her

Q

around, without her breathing down my neck to label ourselves?

A

Oh dear, I have this great desire to tell you something you may not like, but here I go: grow up, we all have to do it, we do not like it, but in the end it is quite

I have been seeing a 25 year old man for the past two months. He is the ultimate embodiment of the perfect gentleman – he takes care

enjoyable to take ownership of one’s own life. “I

of me, drops me home, holds the door

am exclusive to her, physically at least”, what does

and says all the right things. He is a

this really mean? You already entertain thoughts and desires

smooth talker, I admit however he

for other women? What chance would you have to make a

treats me so well I can’t help but fall

relationship with any woman to work? Please let her go, she

in love with him. The only problem

deserves a mature young man! When you grow up, write back

is, he never discusses his past and he

to me. n

never tells people I am his girlfriend. Apparently he has always been this secretive with his ex girlfriends as well. We do hang out with his other friends

Issues

and he does go to several public places with me, but somehow I feel he likes

To spill or not to spill

to retain this aura of mystery when it comes to sharing details of his love life with others. I never feel disrespected, but sometimes I get a little suspicious. I am worried about this but I’m also too embarrassed to ask him – I don’t want him to think I’m being childish. However, secretly I want him to share his past with me and tell me more about his life just so that I can calm my insecurities. Should this be something I should worry about? my classmate and I don’t want to betray him like this. One day when they find out that I knew but I didn’t let him know, that will reflect badly on me. Should I come clean and tell her husband before he finds out and confronts me himself ?

Our Agony Aunt is a Life Coach and Relationship Coach as well as a Corporate and Organisational Consultant. AA lives and works in Bangladesh but travels extensively around the world to give seminars and to see her clients

Q

I have four coworkers who I hang out with every other day. Two of them from our group are married. S, our female friend is having an affair with

A

A

Sometimes my dear “ignorance is bliss.” However, I would undertake some searching and ask around about him.

It could be that he really does not like Tell your girl friend you do

to share his past -most men are not

not want to know anything

like women - we women love to talk

about her extra marital

about our unresolved past love lives,

relationship. it is her life, but

men are the least interested. If you are

you cannot be an accomplice

suspicious, it could be an invention of

T, another good friend of mine. I know

in this. You do not want to see either of

your emotional life, or it could be the

S’s husband and I feel burdened by this

them hurt, but from now on you would

gut feeling that tells you to be aware.

information. I have silently given them

prefer not to know, and urge your

Ask around, find out about him and if

my word of honour and it is understood

friend that ‘affairs’ ONLY and only lead

you feel satisfied: enjoy it, he seems to

that I will never tell on them, but I

to disasters. Is that what she wants? n

do the right things for you. n

constantly feel guilty. S’s husband was

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5


Extravagant events | Post-Riposte

17

Are the wedding festivities being stretched too far? To each his own Amreen Rahman

M

arriage in Bangladesh is

what families consider “a matter of

the ultimate celebration

pride” and sometimes, it could just be

of love, families, love –

a bride’s dream to have four events for

and often wealth. When it comes to getting married – a simple registration

her wedding instead of one. Whether or not we like to admit, in

Does everyone else really have the time? Shuprova Tasneem

W

e live in the age of

of eager aunties and cousins who

globalisation and

are willing to volunteer their

information. If you’re

services towards the festivities, but

moving around in Dhaka during

quite often, their conflicting views

ceremony or even nikaah certainly is

Bangladesh, we aren’t just marrying a

rush hour, you will realise this city

only pave the way to dissent rather

what it takes to be legally “married”.

partner – we’re marrying their entire

is teeming with work-a-day people

than a dream wedding.

However, many choose to go for

family. More than anything else, what

caught up in a frenzied rush to

multiple ceremonies starting from

several events do help us families do

survive and provide for themselves

of their children or family members

the proposal, the dala exchange, the

is make a gateway for both families

and their families. In this day and

are a way to show off their wealth,

engagement, a bridal shower, two

to really get to know each other. The

age, can we actually continue to

and cement their positions in

holuds, a panchini, ai buru bhaat

planning, execution and even the

have week-long weddings filled

society. Quite often, it turns

and then the wedding followed by

build up to each event requires a

with time-consuming expensive

into a competition between said

the reception. Some take it one step

lot from both parties. Yes, there are

rituals?

families – a sort of ‘we love our

further to throw a party for the firani.

squabbles and there are wars, but that

There maybe many reasons behind

is, in essence, what Bengali families

holuds, pan-chini, mehendi, akdt,

gold and goodies’ tug-of-war. This

hosting so many events. One of the

are made up of – ups and downs.

biye and bou-bhaat – the amount

is more likely to happen in the

underlying reasons is tradition,

Learning how to ride through those

of time, energy and money spent

upper classes, and for the bride and

tradition that has been upholded

waves is what matters and that’s

behind these endless events is

groom involved who just want to

for years and years now. Sometimes

where you realise the strength of the

borderline farcical. If the lucky

say their vows and run off into the

people have small in-house holuds and

bond between the families. The whole

bride and groom are both working

sunset together (preferably away

mehendis and sometime they end up

shindig before and during the events

partners, and come from families

from their families), this can be

spending over half a crore to cater to

acts as that platform where families

where both parents are also

intolerable. This culture of wealth

overflowing crowds of both family and

can bond, share, fight and make-up to

involved in the job market, you

display in weddings is a common

strangers – some of whom they don’t

learn to love each other for the sake

are faced with no choice than to

phenomenon in Bangladesh, and

even know.

of the marriage taking place. In our

sacrifice all your leisure time to

many families can go well beyond

country this IS a necessity because a

organising events, or cough up

their means and splurge on a

several other conservatives or others

great part of a successful marriage is a

even more cash to get someone

wedding they cannot afford, even

who think this is an absolute waste of

strong bond between both families. n

else to do it (which is not very

by taking out loans for it, in order

money, some believe a “real” wedding

common here). Of course, in our

to live up to social expectations.

is one that is simple and modest

community there is always a troop

Coming under the direct scrutiny of

For many people, the marriages

The practical answer is no. Two

child and will give them lots of

Finally, the guests who are

in number and nature. While it is

actually expected to turn up to

certainly debatable whether or not we

the infinite numbers of wedding

“need” as many events, I personally

events are also in for a hard time.

feel that if someone is financially

Sure, there’s free biriyani, but

stable and sound enough to have

there’s only so many different saris

multiple functions – they are totally

and panjabis you can wear, and

and completely entitled to do as they

so many selfies you can take with

please with their money. Whether

the same bride and groom. So, to

they want to spend a crore on décor, or

all the people planning on getting

over Tk2lac on an outfit, or even give

hitched this season, please take a

kabin of Tk1 crore that is completely

word of advice from this long-

their prerogative. Similarly, if they

suffering wedding guest – keep it

want to have several fancy events –

short and sweet. n

whatever their reason may be, it’s up to them how they spend their money. Sometimes it’s a father’s dream to have a big fat wedding, sometimes it’s

Photo: Bigstock

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


18 stay in Mini cryptics Clues

then remember this: “you are

before your own eyes before it’s

who you are and are God’s

completed its lifespan.

gift to mankind and nobody can change that.”

Scorpio (Oct23-Nov21): The

ACROSS 1 What was lost was new gate (7) 4 The real change is material (7) 6 One MP, the Queen, 49 put at risk (7) 7 Sing about English medicinal plant (7) DOWN 1 Raise law above monarch on the move (7) 2 Put your foot down on postal charge (5) 3 Organ stop reduces sound input (7) 5 Animal found on shifting shore (5)

and extremely delicate. Parents do

week should be best used for

not always know what to do or say.

your sarcasm, amazing sense

Surprisingly enough children fall

of humour, clever quips and

in the same category. If you shuffle

catchphrases that will last

them together and round them up

until the end of time.

somehow they all start to make sense in a weird way.

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22): Instead Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19): Is your

of purring maybe you could stand

Sagittarius (Nov22-Dec 21):

significant other making you

in front of the mirror and practice

Tighten your grip ‘cause money

wonder whether the real life

some roaring. It’s all about getting

is flowing in and be very careful

romantic prince charming like

a little bit more assertive this week

as this might be a good chance

Shahrukh Khan exists? Then try

Leo.

for you to think of ways to invest

figuring out which version of your Shahrukh Khan he is this week.

that money into some interesting Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Whenever

business ventures.

there’s a fire, you’re the first one Taurus (Apr 20-May20):

at the scene even before the fire

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan19): Got the

Remember for it is the very

brigade gets there to put the fire

eyes of a dreamer this week my

beginning of November and the

out. Now it’s not your job to put

dear. Not too keen on getting all

mayhem has just begun. Your

the fire out and you don’t have

that work done? Well then, close

creative side is in full blossom and

the right gear, which is why you

your eyes and dream.

this could mean two things you

always get burned when you try

could either use it to create havoc

putting out someone else’s fire.

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18): Seems

or use it to bring peace. Which side

Let things be and let nature take

like somebody’s finally exploring

will you end up choosing?

its course.

the rough waters and getting used

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Flip a

Libra (Sep 23-Oct22): If you

coin this week to see how much

appreciate something you should

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Don’t we

longer you can stretch out the

give it time and space to grow. If

all like surprises? Stay tuned this

“meet the parents” or deal. If you

you appreciate it too much and

week to get hit by one hell of a

get lucky and can hold out for

keep hovering around it you will

surprise.

another six months great, but if

not be able to let it grow to its full

you have to meet them this week

potential and may even see it die

to the wild side of things.

Solved it? Email answers to weekend@dhakatribune. com and win one free month of the Dhaka Tribune.

Last week’s solutions

horoscopes

concept of parenthood is both silly Cancer (June 21-Jul22): This

ACROSS 5 Gather no flames (7) 6 Inventor of reformed slate (5) 9 Londoner shy holding broken neck (7) DOWN 1 501, 1000, not clever (3) 2 Crime to do with boundary (7) 3 Plainer sort of chocolate filling (7) 4 Line argument (3) 7 Play part of new cat (3) 8 Crop of wetter years (3)

Sudoku

Use the numbers 1-9 to complete each of the 3x3 square grids such that each horizontal and vertical line also contains all of the digits from 1-9

Last week’s sudoku solutions

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5


Go out

19

Weekly Planner Nov 6-7

to the world. The objective of this

Nov 8

Nov 12-14

Music | Bangladesh Music Week 2015

programme is to create a platform

Cinema | Bengal Cinematheque

Fair | Winter Laptop Fair 2015

When 10am-4:30pm

that will take a sustainable initiative

When 7pm

When 3-5pm

Where Bangladesh Shilpakala

to bring music professionals, policy

Where Daily Star-Bengal Arts

Where Bangabandhu International

Academy, 14/3 Segunbagicha, Ramna

makers, artistes, patrons and

Precinct, 64-65 Kazi Nazrul Islam

Conference Center (BICC), Agargaon,

What The two-day event, co-funded

audience under one roof where they

Avenue, Kawran Bazaar

Sher-E-Bangla Nagar

by the Royal Norwegian Embassy

will be able to talk, listen, discuss

What Bengal Cinematheque

What With latest model laptops,

in Dhaka and Concerts Norway,

debate and collaborate in order

presents Alfred Hitchcock Marnie

computer producers are gathering all

will take place November 6-7 at

to bring a positive change in the

(Hitchcock) 1964, 130 minutes,

their accessories with great bargains

Bangladesh Shilpakala Academy.

industry.

colour. A con-artist moves coolly,

in upcoming Winter Laptop Fair. All

discreetly through the world. She

the top laptop making brands will

Cultural Affairs Minister

Further details of the

Asaduzzaman Noor will inaugurate

event are available on www.

moves fast, but eventually, into the

be displaying their newest products

the event. Renowned music

bangladeshmusicweek.com.

path of a fastidious hunter. Falling

with fascinating deals. Not only

into his elaborate trap, at first she

laptops, but also motherboards,

seems to acquiesce. Due to the hard

processors, gaming consoles,

professionals and artistes from Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka,

Nov 6

Australia, Switzerland, Germany,

exterior we are blind to the inward

casings, flash-drives and other

thrashing, caused by a totalising

accessories will be available.

represent their respective countries

Photography | Fujifilm and Dhaka Artist Hub presents One Day Exclusive Fashion Photography

to explore, share and collaborate

When 9:30am-5pm

She escapes. The hunter tracks her

Nov 6-7

with each other on an international

Where Fujifilm Experience Zone,

down. We see an ancient form of

Contest | Home Fest Dhaka

scale.

Plot 21, Road 13, Block-G, Niketan

sickness in both of them — desire is

When 10am-8pm

Bangladesh Music Week will

What Fujifilm and Dhaka Artist Hub

continually tempered with violence

Where International Convention City

feature a convention open to music

presents One Day Exclusive Fashion

and tenderness. They journey to

Bashundhara - ICCB, Kuril Bishwa

professionals, media and artistes. In

Photography Workshop by Mortuza

the beginning of time and she is

Road

addition, there will an open concert

Alam that includes hands on

deconstructed and unconcealed. Yet

What Bangladesh’s first 360 Interior

each day featuring performances

practical photography with models.

again, the man is proven predictably

Expo for two days. Groomed and

right. He is always in control.

best interior designers will showcase

Dispelled of myth and mystery,

their works with dummy flats for the

everything seems very still and very

consumers who are seeking a stylish

small. Show is open for all.

but yet competitive solution of home

France, Norway and USA will

by several Bangladeshi and a few international artistes for a diverse audience. The event aims at showcasing the wide range of Bangladeshi music

Registration Fee is only Tk1,000 for this certificate course. For registration please contact: 01973338889, 01973338880,

fear. As always, we are complicit.

01833332555

decoration. Entry Fee is Tk50 only.

Nov 6

Nov 6

Social welfare | TaalGoal: Football Tournament for underprivileged children

Music | Bangladesh Music Week: The Festival

When 9am

Where Bangladesh

Where National Handball Stadium,

Shilpakala Academy,

Gulistan

14/3 Segunbagicha,

What The Dhaka Hub of Global

Ramna

Shapers, an initiative of The World

When 4:30-8:30pm

What As a part

Economic Forum, is organising

of Bangladesh

Taal-Goal, a football tournament

Music Week 2015,

for the underprivileged boys and

there will be a

girls residing in slums across Dhaka.

music festival future. With the aim of making

where amazing

Isolated from the mainstream

Dhaka a socially inclusive city, the

performances will

society, these children are the most

Dhaka Hub’s flagship project Taal-

be held. Arshinagar

vulnerable inhabitants of this city.

Goal aspires to use sports as a tool

Bangladesh, Band

Their childhood remains locked in

to reduce crime and drug abuse

Lalon, Bangladesh

the slums’ dark lanes and corners

among the most underprivileged

Institute of theatre

devoid of many basic facilities and

children of this city, and to give

arts, Chirkutt, Minar, Powersurge,

hits in the Bangladesh Shilpakala

opportunities, which eventually

them a platform to embrace

Shakhti, Shironamhin and more

Academy premise. n

push them towards an even darker

childhood. n

will be performing their biggest

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, N OVE MB E R 6, 20 1 5


20 The Bong Momma | Tales from a first-time mom

What’s in a name? Drowning in baby names Minu Ahmed

dad-in-law’s nickname was a derivative of the name, “Romeo”. This goes to show how creative his parents must have been back in the day. My mom-inlaw’s nickname is, or so she thought, gibberish, until I told her what it really meant. How did I know? Now a family joke, but I had to find the only woman in the whole world to be my mom-inlaw, who shared nicknames with my younger sister. Coincidence, much? On the other hand, my own parents were quite chilled when it came to naming people. Somehow my sister and I escaped the torment of horribly embarrassing names, but my father never escapes the opportunity to tell us how he almost named us, “Sonali and Rupali”. Feel like cringing? We sure did! How we really ended up naming Jellybean is the stuff of legends. I had some Persian names picked out, but couldn’t choose one ultimately. Then one day, a few days before Jellybean was due, I had a dream. In the dream, I

A Minu Ahmed is your not-so-average homemaker, normshirker and abomination of awesomeness, juggling a career in communication, motherhood and a fatter half. Questions? Send to thebongmomma@gmail. com

Photo: Bigstock

was being rushed to the hospital to give birth, and after the delivery, someone was asking me what the baby’s name

s I proceeded deeper

Bengali names, French names, English

was, and there it was, as clear as day.

into the eighth month of

names and even tried to make a name

The name shone out at me like a

my pregnancy, I found

deduced from a combination of me

beacon on a foggy night. However, in

remarkable new uses for

and The Husband’s names. My own

the dream, I knew the first name, and

my body. Now wherever I went, I had a

name is Persian, so I kept drifting back

last name, but her middle name was

ready-to-use table all set for me, and all

to Persian names, but couldn’t settle

still unclear.

I had to do was sit down. It’s not what

down on one.

I found out why later, when I

you’re thinking, I didn’t literally have

And of course, the grandparent

actually did give birth to Jellybean.

people set tables for me – I carried one

units didn’t make it any easier either.

I didn’t see her middle name in my

around myself, namely, my tummy!

There were random hints about how

dream, because I never decided it. It

It came quite handy when I wanted

elders have always chosen names for

was decided for me, by my parents,

to, say, eat and read at the same time,

the first born, or how the kid should

who wanted my mother’s maiden name

I would just put the food item onto

be named after so and so. Here I was

as Jellybean’s middle name. I knew this

my belly, and it would just sit there,

already having a hard time choosing

was a long-time desire of my father’s,

unmoving, while I read my book. So

the first name, and everyone was busy

to use that name, so I agreed without

much joy in such simplicity!

calling “dibs” on the middle name and

much argument. My in-laws were a

subsequent names thereafter.

little apprehensive at first, but after

Speaking of simple, the faster my due date got closer, the more pressure

I already had a nickname for my kid,

hearing the story, they agreed as well.

I came under to choose a good name.

and a name that you’re already familiar

It made me wonder, what IS a good

with, little Jellybean. Not only do I

keep getting asked when the next one

name? I could give my child the most

personally love Jellybeans, but the first

will be coming along. After some silent

beautiful name in the world, and she

ultra sonogram I saw of her, she was a

eye-rolling, I tell my well-wishers that

could still turn out evil!

tiny, jellybean shaped mass, in a sea of

I am done with poop and diapers for

black and white. So the name stuck.

now, and I don’t know when “the next

I poured over books and baby name websites, asked my friends for their

Everyone at my in-laws had a story

Now that Jellybean is a bit older, I

one” would come. But that doesn’t stop

opinions, received a lot of “advice”

as to how they got their names. The

me from secretly looking up names and

from many aunties, but nothing really

Husband and his younger brother were

finding fun in that. For the next one,

hit the spot. I went through Arabic

both named after famous Pakistani

I’m thinking…Butterbean?

names, Japanese names, Greek names,

cricketers from the 80s and 90s. My

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, NOVE M B E R 6 , 201 5

What say? n


Profile for DhakaTribune

Weekend Tribune Vol 3 Issue 28  

Weekend Tribune Vol 3 Issue 28  

Advertisement