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DESIREMAGAZINE JUNE 09

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CONTENTS

june 09

DESIREMAGAZINE

16. ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED MEN

There’s no argument that men are different than women. Not only are they physically dissimilar, but their whole mental approach to life is worlds apart.

32. STRIPPER TIPS

Young women around the globe are drawn to the stripping industry. Along with the glitz and glam come hidden dangers that every would-be dancer should be aware of.

34. DESIRED CARS

Everyone dreams of owning an exotic car we will show you the best to drool over.

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42. STAYING AHEAD OF BALDNESS

Baldness has often been a source of pride for some men because they see it as a sign of virility. However, most health practitioners now regard it as a sign of possible impotence and sterility.

44. HOT MOTORCYCLE

BMW launched the most anticipated new sport bike in recent memory, the S 1000 RR, at the famed Monza racetrack, during the Superbike World Championship race weekend.

46. 25 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

Here are a list of facts that you most likeley didn’t know about everyday useless information.

FEATURES:

10. TERA PATRICK

Born on July 25th in Montana, Tera Patrick is both beautiful and brilliant. She has skyrocketed to the number one position in her field.

24. SHYLA STYLEZ

Shyla Stylez is a Canadian porn star of German heritage. After completing high school in Armstrong, she moved to Vancouver, British Columbia and began doing nude photoshoots and live webcam shows for adult websites.

ON THE COVER Image of Amy Fisher Courtesy of Deja Vu

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© 2008 Desire Magazine ® is published monthly. Reproduction of content strictly prohibited. (Means you can not be a copy cat) Desire Magazine R Publisher & Editor assumes no financial responsibility for errors in ads beyond the cost of the space occupied by error; coupons, or lack of fulfillment from advertisers who are solely responsible for contents of their ads.(Ok, that means if we screw up on your ad we will give you one for free and that we have nothing to do with coupons and the stuff that the ads say) Desire Magazine does not condone or promote prostitution, or any form of solicitation, or any illegal acts of any kind; Especially harm against animals in any way, shape or form.( This means we are not trying to help anyone make a sexual connection in trade for money and be very nice to all animals) Publisher is also to be held harmless from: failure to produce any issues as scheduled due to reasons beyond their control; all suits, claims or loss of expenses; this includes, but is not limited to, suits for libel, plagiarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph.(This means if we did something we were not suppose to do; were sorry and if you tell us we won’t do it again) Publisher & Editor do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. (So don’t be a dummy and don’t drink and drive) Due to the active nature of the adult entertainment business, there may be personal scheduling changes after deadlines affecting availability of models depicted in ads.(Not exactly sure what that means) All models pictured are 18 years of age or older. This publication contains adult material and should not be distributed or sold to minors under the age of 18. (So don’t give this to kids!!!)The name Desire Magazine is a nationally registered trademark, exclusively owned by Charles Carbonell, Jr.

Images of Tera Patrick are courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

CONTACT US: info@desiremagazineonline.com

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DESIRESTYLE Sanuk Vagabond Sidewalk Surfer Most of us prefer sandals to shoes, and not just because of the open air. Lots of times, sandals are just way more comfortable. The Sanuk Vagabond Sidewalk Surfer ($55) is basically a shoe upper on a sandal bottom, something the company calls “Barefoot Untechnology,” which allows your foot to bend and flex naturally. $55.

The itie Guys are stuck wearing ties and frankly they’re a pointless accessory. Well now you can have an extra hidden pocket behind your tie. It’s specifically made for small MP3 players like the iPod Nano, but it could be used for plenty more than that. The earphone cord could be hidden through your button up shirt and pop up at the collar of your shirt. $35 - $60.

J. Crew Aldridge Suit Jacket A new take on a traditional style, made from Italian four-season wool fabric and Bemberg lining, this classic, structured suit is designed to be appropriate for any season. Flap pockets compliment the cuffbuttons and a single back vent provides comfort for real world activities. $365.

TSOVET Limited Edition SVT-AT76 Watch Inspired by avionic equipment and gauges, the TSOVET Limited Edition SVT-AT76 Watch displays a nonpareil vintage technical style. As always, TSOVET is the real deal with premium materials like brushed rose, gold, hardened mineral crystal and Italian calf leather. This limited edition with a striking chocolate dial and aqua numbers is limited to 25 individually numbered pieces. $1250.

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DESIREMAGAZINE JUNE 09

Oakley pack

Icon

Back-

The latest upgrade is available for download, er purchase, at Oakley. It’s hard to find a decent bag that carries your tech that looks cool, but the Oakley Icon Backpack 3.0 fits the bill. With plenty of padding your laptop has a safe home, and can easily be removed by from the side making it checkpoint friendly. It also offers plenty of storage for your other gadgets and gear. $135.

Reef Dealer Sandals

Reef continues their history of unique summer footwear with the new Dealer Sandals. This poker-themed flip-flop features a felt footbed with table markings, along with a soft poker chip embedded in the heel and anatomically correct arch support. They won’t help with your bluffing, but at least they’ll be comfortable on the walk home after losing your Honda in the last hand. $46.

TAG Heuer Night Vision Driving Glasses TAG Heuer wants you to wear your sunglasses at night. They’ve introduced a new pair of Night Vision Driving Glasses that are designed to maximize your driving performance from dusk to dawn using some contrast and color magic. Originally developed for drivers in the 24 Hours of LeMans, the glasses feature titanium frames and Reflex-style flexible temples. $TBA.


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DESIREBODY Ace Dual Action Trimmer This two-sided trimmer sports a rotating head for nose and ear hair, and a reciprocating head for sideburns and facial hair. Powered by two 7200 RPM motors, the Ace Dual Action Trimmer ($30) has enough horsepower for even the hairiest of heads. It also features a diamond textured grip and ergonomic design for better control.

Trojan 2Go There are few faux pas more embarrassing than heading home with a hottie only to pull out a wrinkled, beaten condom package from your wallet. Trojan 2Go ($5) helps you avoid this problem by packing two rubbers into a thin, pocketable case that will keep your jimmy hats safe and ready for use. $5.

Anthony Logistics Whisker Lifter

ACE Fogless Shower Mirror This shower mirror uses a “water reservoir” to equalize the temperature of the mirror and eliminate fog, draining itself of water afterwards to prevent mildew. The acrylic mirror attaches to the shower wall with strong suction cups, and provides a flexible holder for your razor. $24.

Alpha Lipoic Acid Eye Area Therapy

Get a close shave while saving some wildlife with the Anthony Logistics For Men Whisker Lifter. Performing like a silver-tipped badger brush, this oversized brush features soft, man-made bristles that help soften and lift beard hair to give you a barbershop-like shave. $80.

Our trip to LA last weekend reminded us how horrible one can look after too many time zones and too many late nights. In particular, our eyes were so puffy and black that they looked like they went 12 rounds with John Ruiz. With its anti-inflammatory effect, Alpha Lipoic Acid Eye Area Therapy by N.V. Perricone M.D. will help get your eyes back in shape like a champ. $45.

RotoShave

Kohler Flipside Showerhead

Get the kind of close shave you thought you could only get from a razor blade with the advantages of a portable electric shaver. Nine rotating blades moving at 270 strokes per second glide over your skin, while a patented safety guard protects your face from nicks and cuts while preventing irritation. The RotoShave has two speed settings to accommodate light or heavy beards, and charges in its travelfriendly dock in under an hour. $120.

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DESIREMAGAZINE JUNE 09

Get four showers in one with the new Kohler Flipside Showerhead. This unique handheld sprayer features a chrome-like finish, and a flippable inner sprayhead offering four different shower experiences — a relaxing dense downpour, a focused, invigorating spray, a drenching, circular-pattern spray, or a standard, traditional shower — that are all just a flip away. $105.


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Images of Tera Patrick are courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

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orn on July 25th in Montana, Tera Patrick is both beautiful and brilliant. She has skyrocketed to the number one position in her field. She’s the host of two successful shows, she’s received more awards than anyone in the business and her face has decorated the cover of every erotic magazine, including Playboy and Penthouse. In 1998 Tera received a degree in nursing and is naturally concerned with the well being of mankind. Although she’s currently on a leave of absence from the medical community, Tera goes out of her way to replace pain with pleasure. Tera has donated thou-sands of dollars to charities like the 911 Fireman’s Fund and she’s raised thousands more for adult industry benefits supporting the Free Speech Coalition and A.I.M. Healthcare. Tera Patrick was discovered in San Francisco when she was 13 and subsequently moved to New York to pursue a career in modeling. She worked as a model and appeared on the runway until she was in front of the camera, Tera transferred to California and returned to modeling, where she met a scout from Playboy. Tera began appearing in magazine after magazine and she soon caught the attention of Joone, Digital Playground’s founder. When Joone, and his partner Samantha Lewis, met Tera Patrick, they were immediately taken by her poise and elegance. Digital Playground signed her to a five-year contract, and a star was born. Within months, Tera was named Penthouse Pet and Hustler Honey. Then Digital Playground got her an audition for Playboy TV’s “Nightcalls 411” She was hired for the show on the spot. Since Tera’s involvement with “Nightcalls 411”, the show skyrocketed to the number

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Tera Patrick is the ONLY girl EVER to receive the coveted ‘Best New Starlet’ award from EIGHT different sources. www.desiremagazineonline.com

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Tera Patrick is the only girl EVER to grace the covers of both Penthouse and Playboy simultaneously.

ately and Playboy executives asked Tera to represent Playboy TV worldwide in their Oasis campaign. Due to popular demand, in June of 2001, Tera Patrick was asked to renew her contract with Playboy and host “Nightcalls 411” in its’ new season. In January 2002, with the highest ratings ever already under their belt, Playboy executives made a unanimous decision to re-sign Tera for another stellar year. In May of 2000, just five months after signing with Digital Playground, Tera walked away from the Cannes Film Festival with the award for “Best New Starlet”. Later in 2000, Tera received “Best New Starlet” from Cyber Adult Video Review and from Nightmoves magazine. Then, in January of 2001 Tera was awarded “Best New Starlet” at the AVN Award Show and Genesis magazine named Tera Patrick thier “Best NewCummer”. In March, Tera received the honor from Adam Film World, in April, the X.R.C.O. presented her with the “Best New Starlet” title and in July, F.O.X.E. presented Tera

with the “Vixen” award. Tera is the ONLY girl to receive the “Best New Starlet” title from every voting authority. In May of 2001, exactly one year after Tera’s first accolade, she received the Hot D’Or award for “Best American Actress”, her ninth award in one year. Additionally, Tera’s signature DVD with Digital Playground, “Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick” was awarded “Best Interactive DVD” by AVN, Empire and A.M.E.E. In October of 2001, Tera Patrick placed 18th in Stuff magazine’s “69 sexiest people, places and positions of 2001”, making her the 2nd sexiest woman on the list. In the same month Nightmoves magazine named Tera ‘Best Actress’ and her new title by Digital Playground, “Island Fever”, received their award for ‘Best DVD’. “Island Fever” went on to receive accolades from AVN. They declared it the ‘Best Video Rental in 2001’, and Tera’s performance received accolades for ‘Best Tease Performance’.

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DESIREromance

U nderstanding the R omanti c ally

C hallenged M an

T

here’s no argument that men are different than women. Not only are they physically dissimilar, but their whole mental approach to life is worlds apart. The man’s thought process is basic, almost primeval. In fact, it is primitive and men are driven by instinct rather than emotion. Sometimes overly logical, man rationalizes his world based on simplistic needs. Man will look at a cave and see a hole in the ground, a place to lay his blanket and be sheltered from the rain. A woman will look at that same cave and see a home – a place to be comfortable and raise a family. From this one example it’s easy to see how far apart men and women can be when it comes to the romantic aspects of a relationship – dating, gifts, and intimacy. Dating: One of man’s greatest inventions is the wheel, so his enthusiasm over any activity that revolves around this discovery shouldn’t come as a surprise. Such events as Monster Truck Rallies, Motocross racing, and anything where a car can legally go faster than posted speed limits is a natural attraction for man. Unfortunately, women don’t always understand the appeal of exhaust fumes, dust and the roar of vehicles without mufflers. These are to a man what candles, flowers and soft music are to a woman – a pure turn-on! Physical activities like football and hockey bring out the competitive side of man and he can’t help the compelling draw to watch warriors competing

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on a sports battleground. Wresting! This is the ultimate show of brute force – man against man – animalistic one on one combat. Women outdress and out-cook each other; men take an easier approach and just beat each other up. What has this got to do with dating? Simple – these activities are man’s passion, so he quite naturally wants to include his woman in the things he loves. When you mention a date, the woman thinks of a movie; the man agrees, but it has to be an action movie. A woman will think ballet; man looks at break dancing. Women enjoy stage performances; a man’s stage is the boxing ring. Understand these underlying differences in thought patterns and women will be able to easily manoeuvre their men into a romantic evening. Try the candle light dinner and a moonlit walk along the beach - after the baseball game. Romantic dinners: For men, eating was never meant to be romantic. Grabbing something to eat is a basic means of replenishing their strength, or an activity taken during a social gathering. There was always a practical purpose for eating – and it had absolutely nothing to do with romance. The basic man enjoys basic cooking – barbeques, deep fried chicken, pizza and fast food. If you can wash it down with bottled beer, it’s good. If you can do that without having to get out of your jeans, it’s even better. Eating a meal wasn’t intended to be a prolonged event for man. When a man eats, it’s usually a prelude to something that he really wants to do – watching the football game, going to the bar,

having sex. Knowing this, it may be wise for the woman to insinuate a long night of unimaginable pleasure if her man will take his time at the dining room table. Gifts from the heart Man is always fascinated by anything he can take apart, use to take something apart, makes loud noise, or he can hang on the garage wall. Hand tools, power accessories, and anything electronic – give your man a ratchet set and he’s in Heaven; add a compressor and you’d think he just had sex. He enjoys the role of handyman, so tools are a natural gift for him. Considering this mentality, is it so strange that the gift he selects for his woman happens to be a kitchen utensil, or microwave oven? If you leave the choice of gifts up to the man and expect something personal, you may be disappointed. Help the man out and make him a list of what you want. He’ll appreciate it. Sex and intimacy Wherever the word ‘sex’ came from, it was made for the man. It’s a simple three letter, one syllable word that’s easy for men to remember and to say. Like eating, sex is a fundamental need, one more pleasurable project on his list of things to do. If he doesn’t have to get dressed up for dinner, he won’t. If he can have sex without foreplay, he will. If women want their men to be romantic, then they have to train him. Since men aren’t all that complicated, training should be relatively simple. Some will say that men are truly romantically challenged while others will defend man’s simplistic approach to love as being a product of his prehistoric heritage. Women have evolved to be these complex creatures and have to exercise patience while their men catch up.


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DESIREDGEAR

Shelby Daytona Coupe Le Mans Edition Based on the Shelby Daytona Coupe — the only American car ever to win the FIA GT World Championship — the Shelby Daytona Coupe Le Mans Edition ($TBA) is a modern day take on the classic racer. It features upgrades such as wider 18-inch wheels and tires, front and rear fender flares, a functional billet aluminum top, Alcantera suede seats, a suede Momo steering wheel, and more. In addition, this throwback beauty is powered by the customer’s choice of motors based on the Ford 351 Windsor block, including a Roush 402R V8 good for 530 hp and 515 lb-ft of torque, or more than enough power to live up to its mighty heritage.

Samsung I7500 Finally, an Android phone that doesn’t look like it was designed in 2003. The Samsung I7500 ($TBA) packs Google’s handset operating system, along with quad-band GSM, tri-band 7.2Mbps HSDPA wireless networking, a 3.2-inch, 480x320 AMOLED touchscreen, Wi-Fi, GPS, a five-megapixel camera with LED light, Bluetooth, 8GB of storage built-in, and more.

Samsung SMX-C14 and SMX-C10 Samsung is back with a couple of new camcorders for those who are looking for a device that is able to perform video recording of your favorite memories without cramping your style or adding a whole lot of bulk to your travel bag. The two models in question are the Samsung SMX-C14 and SMXC10 that look totally out of this world, being ergonomically designed, compact digital camcorders that comes in industry-leading style and design. Both the new SMX-C14 and SMX-C10 will also be adorned with Samsung’s very own stylish Touch of Color (ToC) finish, where a subtle hint of color is naturally blended into the deep black body for an attractive crystalline appearance (not to mention being a prime candidate as a fingerprint magnet).

SONY X-SERIES WALKMAN Sony today took the wraps off its top-of-the-line Walkman® Video MP3 player – the X-series Walkman®. A premium portable entertainment device, the X-series (NWZ-X1000 models) is Wi-Fi enabled and features an Organic Light Emitting Diode (OLED) touch screen, Sony’s Digital Clear Audio Technologies, as well as embedded contentprovided by Slacker® Radio and YouTube™ “The new X-series leverages Sony’s engineering heritage and integrates the latest advances in OLED and other innovative technologies,” said Andrew Sivori, director of the audio products business at Sony Electronics.

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DESIREDGEAR Eco-Drive Watch In a nutshell, the Ensemble HD Home Cinema System is a fully-integrated, high-end home entertainment solution that works great for viewing movies, TV shows as well as playing video games. Part of it includes a 10″ motorized screen, integrated surround sound, AV controller with built-in DVD player, universal remote and all the components required to get you up and running the moment you bring it home. These have also been tastefully designed to make sure it won’t be an eyesore whenever somebody decides to drop by. There are three models in total to choose from the Ensemble HD Home Cinema System in order to cater to varying consumer needs. Entry level families who want something that will keep everyone happy without digging into the kids’ college fund can always choose the $4,999 Ensemble HD Home Cinema 720p. As for more seasoned audiophiles the $6,499 Ensemble HD Home Cinema 6100 and $7,999 Ensemble HD Home Cinema 6500 UB.

John Deere M-Gator & R-Gator The John Deere M-Gator A1 ($TBD) is a combat-proven military utility vehicle that you can now put to use in your backyard. Powered by an 854cc Tier II Yanmar diesel engine, the 6x4 A1 navigates the toughest terrain and features a keyless ignition, dual radiator cooling system, and ample cargo room (1650 lbs total payload capacity) in the front and back. Once only available to military organizations, now the A1 can be purchased by “first responders in search and rescue operations.” But we’re pretty sure if you’ve got the cash, you could buy one for your “beer and offroad operations.” If you need a high-tech pack mule, check out the John Deere Military RGator ($TBD), an autonomous unmanned ground vehicle that lets you troops remotely control it from a laptop. Designed for recon in hostile situations, the R-Gator sports laser range sensors to avoid obstacles and bounce around the battlefield like the badass bot that it is.

Retro Mini Handheld NES System Rocking Glass Ever wonder why the concept of the Weeble, which wobbles but won’t fall down, hasn’t been applied to everyday life? Wonder no more. The Rocking Glass ($25/set of 4) is like a Weeble storage vessel for your booze, with a nice globe-like shape and curved bottom that allows the glass to rock without tipping over. If only they could do the same thing for drunk humans.

Sure, there are plenty of ways to play NES games on the go, but most of them don’t take actual cartridges. The Retro Mini Handheld NES System ($50) is like the Game Boy that never was, with a 2.4-inch LCD screen, a top-loading slot for NES titles, AV output, built-in speakers, a headphone jack, and the ability to run up to eight hours on 4 AA’s.

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ADVISE

ask her

Why is it that some women swallow and some spit? Is there anything I can do to make a women feel more comfortable about getting it down the hatch?

Women who swallow do so because they truly like it, or because they know what a huge turnon it is for guys and enjoy providing that extra bit of pleasure. But you shouldn’t be surprised that some women are squeamish. It could be the taste, the consistency, or the idea that there are more than a million little sperm swimming around in a single teaspoon that turns them off. Or a women might just find it bizarre and/or humiliating to eat body fluids. Ask your resistant spitter why she doesn’t like it. It could be that she doesn’t even realize how much it matters to you. (Why does it matter to you, anyway? Is it really that important? Would you be willing to do it if the roles were reversed?) If taste is the problem, I’ve heard that you can make your sperm more palatable by eating more fruits and vegetables and less red meat. But listen, given that she’s going down on you in the first place, is it really worth making a big deal out of weather or not she digests your DNA? Is there any way to find out if a women would be willing to have anal sex without coming right out and asking her? Let me first warn you that most women I know are absolutely opposed to rear-exit entry and would be horrified if anyone but a very longterm boyfriend tried it. If your gal hasn’t shown enthusiasm about experimentation, don’t test her boundaries with this trick. Try 69 instead, or more some unusual sex position (ever hear of the wheelbarrow?) If you’re with a girl who’s always game for something new, the least pervy way to find out if she likes anal stimulation is to slide a slick

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finger back there when you’re in the vicinity and lightly circle her anus with it, then ask her if that feels okay. If she says yes with enthusiasm and pushes her body towards you, then you should slip your finger in (just a little!) and gauge her reaction. If it’s positive, then there’s a good chance she’s not grossed out or turned off by anal sex. Go very slow to give her time to figure out what you’re up to and plenty of chances to say stop. If she quickly pulls away and gets quiet or upset when you approach her back door with your finger, then obviously she isn’t in to this sort of adventure.

What can I do or say to show her that she can just relax and get freaky if she wants to? Normally conservative women get wild in bed with two types of men: the ones they don’t care about and the ones they’re completely in love with. We’ll let loose with the former because we don’t care what the guy thinks of us. With the latter, it’s because we feel 100 percent safe and comfortable. With a long-term girlfriend who’s always been conservative in bed, start tame and build up to freaky. Wait until some Friday for Saturday night when she’s got a little wine buzz going on and whisper in her ear that you want to have sex with her on the kitchen table. If she blushes but smiles, make that whisper a reality ASAP. Raise the bar slowly but steadily, always on a night when she’s laughing a lot, feeling loose and relaxed, and obviously in love. If you want to get a one-night stand or an occasional hookup to go nuts, lead by example. Moan loudly, tell her what to do in a sultry voice, change from doggy style to missionary to cowgirl in less than 10 minutes, spank her butt gently-and let her know she can reciprocate any way she likes. The percentage of women who are turned on by erotic talk: 79

How can I encourage a woman to take control and be more dominant? After you start kissing her and caressing her as usual, whisper in her ear that you want her to tell you what makes her feel good. She might giggle or not know what you mean at first, but tell her you’re serious-you really want her to order you around. If she still hesitates, ask her a question like “Does it feel good when I do this?” and then lick her breasts, or nip her earlobe. When she says yes, ask her what else will make her feel good. Keep your tone playful but sexy. Another question is at the end of a stressful day (for you, not her), throw yourself back on the couch and tell her: 1) how much you want her, 2) how tired you are, 3) how much you wish she would take off her clothes and have her way with you. Then kiss her passionately, but otherwise don’t lift a finger. Should I be insulted if the girl I’m seeing uses a vibrator? No. A vibrator is a harmless little orgasm machine, and using it is about as close to having sex with someone you’re attracted to as watching Apollo 13 is to experiencing space flight. Its ironic that vibrators are sometimes called “personal massagers” in catalogs that don’t want to use the word “vibrator” because vibrator really is a personal massager and nothing more-it just happens that this particular type of massage ends up in an orgasm. It’s an efficient masturbation tool because it requires zero energy to hold the thing against our clitoris and visualize some sexy scenario. It usually doesn’t take long before the intense buzzing sensation sends a wave of pleasurable spasms throughout our lower body. As a matter of fact, if you’re with a women who takes forever to orgasm, a vibrator could be your new best friend. Using it in addition to your usual licks and tricks could cut your labor in half.


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Images of Shyla Stylez are courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

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DESIRETIPS

Hidden Dangers of Stripping Y Here are our 10 Tips to make your stripping career go as smooth as possible. oung women around the globe are drawn to the stripping industry. Along with the glitz and glam come hidden dangers that every wouldbe dancer should be aware of.

Thieves, rapists and worse may not be known for their tact but they are usually very savvy with choosing their victims. Plus, stripping is a dog-eatdog, cut-throat, high-pressure sales environment. Competition is fierce and can be brutal. You can’t be an easy target and you must know what to expect. With common sense on your part and a little wisdom from someone who’s been there, your stripping experience will hopefully be a safe one. 1. CLUB SECURITY: Only work at clubs that have established security personnel, as in bouncers, not a bartender and a DJ. Be certain they have outdoor security that will walk you to your car or cab. They should also have a place for you to securely store your belongings while working. If they don’t: find another club. 2. DRUGS IN FOOD & DRINK: Never leave your drink or food unattended. Never! Not even if you’ve known the customer or employee a while. Take it with you, finish it or consider it trash. Don’t risk

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your health or your life for fear of hurting someone’s feelings or possibly losing money. It’s just not worth it! 3. BUDDY SYSTEM: Always buddy up with a fellow stripper to check out a club. Never work a new club alone. There is safety in numbers and new girls’ are occasionally the objects of territorial jealousy. Stay alert and don’t get intoxicated, just in case.

4. ARRIVAL ATTIRE: Never arrive or leave in your stage or floor attire. Thieves know you’re a stripper with CASH if you dress like one, especially late at night. Keep it casual and conservative. 5. LOCK YOUR CAR: Check the back seat before you get in as well. 6. WHO’S FOLLOWING YOU: You must know if you’ve been followed from the club even if on a bus or cab. If you feel you’ve been followed go to the nearest police station or crowded public area and call 911. (Sadly, you’ll usually get better response from police if you DON’T tell them you’re a stripper.) 7. ONLY BRING WHAT YOU WANT STOLEN: Harsh but true. Don’t bring every CD, pair of shoes or costume you own to the club ñ make-up included.

If it all gets stolen, you’ll have nothing to make up the loss with.

8. LOCK ‘EM UP OR GIVE ‘EM AWAY: Always lock-up your personal belongings. If you don’t, you might as well give them all away. They will be stolen, otherwise.

9. BIG BILLS IN SHOES: Unless you’re wearing slings, always carry your large bills in your shoes. Cash-in smaller bills if possible, if not, lock them with your belongings. Don’t leave cash anywhere unless you planned on giving it the person who WILL pick it up. 10. PERSONAL INFO: Never give any of your personal information to a customer. Not your real name, home number or what area of town you live on. Only use a cell phone and email for customers! They will be very persistent for contact info so be prepared! Stripping can be fun and you can make great money doing it. Even with security and a professional atmosphere, your safety is ultimately your responsibility. The club will open tomorrow, even if you never make it home tonight.


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DESIREDCARS

DESI

Land Rover Defender SVX

2009 G-Power BMW M6 Hurricane CS

Land Rover will celebrate its 60th anniversary with a new special edition of the iconic Defender – the SVX.

Creating the ultimate BMW, nothing less was the set target for the G-POWER engineers when they started to designe the G-POWER M6 HURRICANE CS.

The Land Rover Defender SVX was unveiled for the first time by Zara Phillips at the British Red Cross Ball in London earlier this evening. The world’s first SVX has been donated by Land Rover UK to the British Red Cross to auction at the ball.

The starting basis for this project is the currently most exclusive model in the BMW product range, the BMW M6. Due to the combination of this fantastic basis with the technical innovative products of G-POWER, it was able to create a sports car of superlatives. Powered by a V10 SK III RS twin-supercharger engine with 750 hp / 552 kW, which enabled the G-POWER world record car to achieve a top speed of 367,4 km/h, the G-POWER M6 HURRICANE CS has got what it takes to be a member of the super car league.

“The Red Cross association with Land Rover goes back to 1954, when Land Rover supplied a vehicle to the British Red Cross for use in Dubai as a mobile dispensary,” said James Johnstone, chairman for the British Red Cross Ball. “We are thrilled that Land Rover continues to support our vital humanitarian work today. Funds raised from auctioning this vehicle will go towards the work of the Red Cross in the UK and overseas, which this year has included the UK floods, Darfur Crisis and ongoing HIV work in Africa.” While most of the 25,000 Defenders produced each year are working tools for everyone from farmers and foresters to aid agencies, the SVX is the most stylish and feature-packed version that Land Rover has ever produced.

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Further characteristics of the G-POWER M6 HURRICANE CS is the multipart widebody kit, the high performance Carbon-Ceramic break system, the individually adjustable suspension kit and last but not least the nifty 21 inch GPOWER wheels with MICHELIN tyres.After the G-POWER M5 HURRICANE RS broke the world record for the fastest sedan, G-POWER developed this idea to use this potential to build the world’s fastest BMW coupe, the G-POWER M6 HURRICANE CS. For this project, the redesigned twin supercharger system of the world record car for the fast-revving V10 was used. Compared to the standard system, both belt-driven ASA T1-313 superchargers, each providing charge air for one cylinder bank, were replaced by larger ASA T1-316 models. They have the capacity to increase the volume of charge air by up to 25 percent but only a fraction of that was utilized in this engine. The air volume these chargers are capable of would theoretically be sufficient for a rated power output in excess of 900 hp.


IREDCARS

2009 Ferrari 599XX

2009 Peugeot RD Concept Model

While based on the 599 GTB Fiorano with the same transaxle layout and engine type, this prototype is an extreme track car. Ferrari’s engineers have carried out extensive work on the engine’s combustion chambers and inlet and exhaust tracts. These modifications, combined with the fact that internal attrition has been reduced and the maximum revs have been boosted to 9,000 rpm, helped achieve the target power output of 700 hp at 9,000 rpm. Particular attention was also paid to cutting the weight of the engine unit components. This was achieved both by optimising forms - as in the new crankshaft - and adopting exclusive materials, as in the carbon-fibre used for the intake plenums. A new gearbox shift strategy cuts overall gearchange times to 60 ms.

On the occasion of the Shanghai Motor Show, a life-size model of the RD concept car, the winning project in the 5th Peugeot design competition, will be presented to the Chinese public. The subject for this latest edition of the competition was “Imagine the Peugeot in the Worldwide Megalopolis of tomorrow, and it was a resounding success with over 2 500 projects submitted from candidates of 95 different nationalities.

The 599XX is characterised by an innovative electronic concept called the “High Performance Dynamic Concept” which has been designed to get the maximum performance from the car by managing the combination of the car’s mechanical limits with the potential of its electronic controls. The mechanical and electronic systems work together to get the maximum performance from the car under extreme high performance driving, for consistent lap times. The sporty handling has been improved thanks to the adoption of second generation SCM suspension system. Track usage is also made easier thanks to the new “virtual car engineer”, a screen in the car that provides a real-time indication of the vehicle’s efficiency. The 599XX’s aerodynamics were honed in numerous wind tunnel test sessions with the result that the car now boasts 280 kg of downforce at 200 km/h (630 kg at 300 km/h). The front underside of the body is completely faired-in and the vents that channel hot air from the engine bay have been moved to the bonnet.

The main innovative operating feature of the Peugeot RD concept car is its ingenious system of articulation that provides irreproachable road holding allied with the ability the easily thread its way through urban traffic. Equipped with an environmentally friendly electric motor, the driving position in this single-seat concept offers a new feeling of freedom, thanks to its panoramic vision, voice-message driving assistance and a headsup display system that gives all the information required for travelling in complete safety. This concept car combines the sensations of a 3-wheeled scooter with the driving pleasure of a saloon car, while retaining all the essential functions of both modes of transport… and while adding a silent environment. As you would expect, being accessible, solid and extremely simply designed, the Peugeot RD concept car fits perfectly with the complicated mobility constraints you would encounter in a megalopolis of the future.

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DESIREDCARS

Roush Special Edition MkIII-R

2009 Porsche Cayenne Maff Muron

The Roush/Superformance Special Edition MKIII-R was built specifically to tour the country and represent the bread and butter of what Roush Performance Engines and Superformance LLC have to offer. The plan was to build a one off display vehicle, but the project’s high interest quickly changed everyone’s mind and suddenly the car was slated for production. The Special Edition car was introduced to the public at the 2007 SEMA show in Las Vegas Nevada. The MKIII-R showed the public what it has always wanted to see - two industry leaders working together to produce the best of both worlds, a stunning double diamond with the roar of a lion under the hood. A car that is truly pleasing to all of your senses!

Popularity turned the Porsche Cayenne into quite a common presence on the roads. This explains why the German model features in the portfolio of so many car tuners. Unfortunately, the big sales volume made the aftermarket industry follow in the foot steps of the stock car manufacturers. And this is because they started producing the so called exclusive, unique body kits in large series.

The Roush components will be available as an upgrade package that will be sold separately from the standard Superformance MKIII roadster. The interior features a set of Roush embroidered leather seats, unique gauges, billet short-throw shifter, Roush embroidered floor mats, dual gauge pod, and a serialized plaque. Customers can choose from a variety of Roush crate motors including the 427 IR V8 that is dyno tested at 576 horsepower and comes with a 2-year/24,000 mile warranty. The MKIII-R started its journey in South Africa, where it was built completely minus the engine and transmission by Hi Tech Automotive RSA and shipped Hillbank Motor Corp. After 5 weeks on the water it arrived at Hillbank and was quickly sent over to Exotic where it began the transformation process. The Exotic crew first removed all of the chrome factory trim pieces including the windshield, hood and trunk latches, headlight rings, quick jacks, all the way down to the Tonneau cover rivets and roll bar and sent them out to be coated in a black chrome finish. With the help of our sponsors (Roush, GTP, Wilwood Engineering, Tremec, American Racing, Sube Sport, Michelin USA, and Snake Power Performance) this vehicle was well on its way to its new transformation!

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For all these reasons, MAFF Tuning developed the Muron project such as to offer the alternative of a truly custom interpretation of the super SUV. Thus, the Muron package represents a complex stylistic approach, which makes it more than sufficient for seriously amplifying the already powerful personality of the Cayenne. But what really sets Muron apart from other tuners’ body kits is that MAFF proposes it as only the base on which the clients can build their fantasies. This is what actually means to offer custom services. This is what defines MAFF Tuning. The Muron body kit is built of carbon fiber. The package comprises of the following: front and rear spoilers, front grille with integrated LED daytime running lights, side skirts, roof spoiler, bonnet with dramatic scoops, masks for the head lights and tail lights, a discreet adornment for the boot lid, inserts of carbon fiber for the door handles, rear view mirror carcases with integrated LED signal lights and exhaust tailpipes covers. Each of these elements are a MAFF design and this is why the cars are adorned with the MAFF and Muron logos. Even the light alloy wheels are a special MAFF design. And their dimensions vary according to the request of each and every client.


DESIREDCARS 2009 Tramontana R Beautiful cars and everything that goes with it keeps fascinating The super sports car manufacturer set in the Costa Brava, unveils its latest version, the Tramontana R. The new model is the result of a logical evolution of the previous one.

The TRAMONTANA team has reduced the weight of the car to 92 kg. (203 lbs) despite the fact that the first version had already been done with the lightest materials. Remind that the chassis and the bodywork are completely made in carbon fibre.

Thanks to the hard work of the whole technicians team of a.d. TRAMONTANA, a more purist new version is being introduced. The car has been designed in order to increase the sensations experimented by the driver. These feelings give the driver the information needed to push such an extreme car to its limits.

• Previous dry weight: 1.360 Kg • New dry weight: 1.268 Kg • Weight distribution: 42% front, 58% rear; 50% right, 50% left

Although the first version was already very competitive in terms of technology, the team raised new challenges to achieve. The TRAMONTANA R, unlike other super sports cars with radical versions, keeps the comfort as a value and provides versatility, as well as the possibility to drive the car in conventional roads. So much so that gives a surprising performance not only in the track but also outside of it.

Another important challenge has been to give more pure personality to the car; the new chassis reduces the wheelbase in 50 mm and notably improves the handling of the car as well as the aerodynamic performance. All these improvements have allowed to optimize the cornering speed, specially in the track. • New downforce: 240 Kg (300Km/h) • Downforce distribution front axle: 95 Kg aprox. • Downforce distribution rear axle: 145 Kg aprox. If you have followed the evolution of the company from its origins, you have surely noticed its constant progression. With the Tramontana R they have shown his technical capacity once more. The future is to reassert itself as a one of the best and most exclusive manufacturers in the small world of super sports cars.

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DESIRETOOLS Husqvarna Automower TThis self-charging, auto-piloting, robotic mower will handle your weekly chore without supervision, and is capable of sending you an SMS should something unexpected take place. The ACX has an adjustable mowing height, runs almost silent, has ultrasonic sensors to prevent collisions, and finds its way back to the charging station when it needs power. Rain and weather proof, the mower can handle uneven ground with ease, and even has a programmable anti-theft alarm should your neighbor’s covetous nature overwhelm his better sensibilities. $TBA.

Coleman LED Quad Lantern Boasting 24 5mm white LEDs, the lantern is split into four removable sections, each of which can be turned on and off independently, letting you decide exactly how much illumination you need. With a run time of 30 hours, rechargeable NiMH batteries and built-in hanging/carrying handles for each detachable section, it’s the only outdoor light you need. $75.

Leatherman Multi-tool Channel you inner MacGyver with the Leatherman 831082 Freestyle CX Multi-tool. This inanimate handyman seamlessly transforms from a clip-point knife to needlenose and regular pliers with the flick of the wrist. The outside-accessible blade is conducive to one-handed opening while the removeable pocket clip keeps the Leatherman within reach whenever duty calls. $60.

Rubbermaid Action Packer Keep your tools, gardening supplies, cold weather clothes, enormous stash of drugs — whatever — save and sound inside a Rubbermaid ActionPacker. Available in a variety of capacities, from 8-48 gallons, these rough and rugged storage containers feature weather-resistant construction, tough, lockable latches, double walls for added strength, and a 6-year warranty. $26 - $94.

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Dremel Multi-Max Whether you’re sanding, scraping, or cutting, get the job done faster with the Dremel Multi-Max. Packing a 1.5 amp motor with a 10,000 - 21,000 OPM speed range, this oscillating tool comes complete with a sanding pad, 60, 120 and 240 grit sand paper, a flexible scraper, a flat saw blade, and a wood flush-cut blade, all of which can be stored in the included case. $95.

Makita SanderPolisher

Give your car a showroom shine with the Makita Sander-Polisher. This ninepound polisher features a variable speed dial that runs from 600-3,000 rpm, letting you go from slow buffing to aggressive polishing in the turn of a dial. Of course, it’s also easily converted into a sander, helping you to re-stain that deck or fence in no time. $200.

Best Made Axes When is an axe more than an axe? When it’s a work of art. Best Made Axes achieve this status by being hand forged and tempered by one of America’s oldest axe companies, and then paired to handles made of 30-inch American hardwood, which are then hand painted and polished. For added collectibility, pair one with a custom made, feltlined Best Made Box. $200 - $550.


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DESIRETIPS because of the danger of infecting the scalp. A vigorous massage should then be given to the top of the head, where the balding process begins. Another factor that has a lot to do with baldness is the mental stress a person experiences every day. Someone who has to fight the traffic to get to his job, then has to contend with his fellow employees or customers, uses up a lot of nervous energy. Over a period of time this results in mental stress which affects the efficiency of the glandular processes. Tension and emotional imbalance have a similar effect. Then there are the bad habits that can seriously undermine one’s health and, with it, the process of hair growth. Cigarette smoke, besides its wellknown harmful effects, inhibits the use of Vitamin C by the body. Early gray hair and hair loss result from the lack of this nutrient. Excess salt in the diet neutralizes potassium which is necessary to fight the bacteria that could have a harmful effect on hair follicles. Including in the diet potassium-rich items such as greens, grapes, honey, parsley, codfish and bananas can offset the salt that can sometimes be found in certain canned foods.

S TAY A HEA D OF BALDNESS B aldness has often been a source of pride for some men because they see it as a sign of virility. However, most health practitioners now regard it as a sign of possible impotence and sterility.

such formulas as hair transplants and expensive medications that give meager results. The best course of action is, therefore, to tackle the problem when it has just begun and before the effects have had time to take root.

Baldness changes a man’s appearance. It makes him look older in a culture that places a greater value on youth or at least on a youthful appearance. Indeed, certain jobs in the arts are filled almost exclusively by younger people. They are seen as being more in tune with the latest trends.

The fight can best be approached on three fronts: the physical, the mental and the nutritional. The physical side involves the daily care given to one’s personal appearance. Most people take a daily bath or shower but do not wash their hair at the same time, even though it is permanently exposed to the same elements as the rest of the body.

Baldness has always been a part of a man’s life. As he ages, the various indicators of the passage of time such as baldness and presbyopia all come into play. Fortunately, it seems that baldness depends more on lifestyle than on heredity or advancing years. We can do a lot to ensure that our lifestyle helps rather than hinders our health and, with it, normal hair growth. After a certain period of time, however, baldness becomes permanent. When that point is reached, nothing can be done to recover what has been lost. Of course, one can always fall back on

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Smog-filled streets, smoke-filled rooms, even the artificial climate of an office building, all have an effect on a person’s hair. The follicles become clogged with the dirt and grime of the streets and are soon unable to function properly. A clogged follicle means that the lubricants that strengthen and protect the hair are unable to do their job. The easiest way to combat dirt and grime is by simply washing the hair daily while taking a shower. A clean towel should then be used to dry it. The towel should only be used for this purpose

Two other dietary mistakes that can affect hair growth are the use of white sugar and fried foods. Bearing in mind that a pound of brown sugar is converted into three pounds of white sugar after processing, it is no wonder that the latter is not so conducive to good health. The primary drawback of white sugar is that is absorbs oxygen from tissue, thus contributing to retard hair growth.

“Fortunately, it seems that baldness depends more on lifestyle than on heredity or advancing years.” Fried foods, on the other hand, impede the absorption of calcium by the body. The main culprit is the fat that sticks to all fried foods so it is better to decrease their consumption. Nutrition plays an important part in preventing baldness as it does in every aspect of human health. Natural foods are best. Vegetables such as cucumbers, beets, cabbage, celery and leeks, are full of the nutrients that indirectly promote hair growth. A diet that also includes fruits such as dates, figs, grapes, along with groundnuts, almonds, lentils and barley, is highly beneficial to overall health. Baldness, therefore, should be seen as an indication that certain lifestyle changes are needed. It signals that dietary changes are necessary in order to obtain the nutrients that favor hair growth and other functions. It also means that the stresses of everyday living should be better controlled and that life should be enjoyed.


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DESIREDBIKES

BMWS 1000 RR Superbike

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BMW launched the most anticipated new spor t bike in recent memory, the S 1000 RR, at the famed Monza racetrack, during the Superbike World Championship race weekend. This new Superbike from BMW weighing only 404 lbs, and putting out 193 hp, is one of the most powerful, sophisticated and lightest spor t bikes to be unleashed on the planet. The BMW S 1000 RR introduces new technical features, such as the first ever 4-stage ABS system, with settings for Rain, Spor t, Race and Slick conditions. With its highly distinctive asymmetrical headlights, which follow the very elegant and unique asymmetrical body panels, this first BMW Superbike promises to standout from the crowd. Look for the S 1000 RR, the major new entr y in the spor t bike arena by BMW, in the US by early 2010. Engine & Drivetrain * 999 cc * Bore/Stroke (mm) – 80.0/49.7 * 193 hp @ 13,000 rpm * 83 lb/ft @ 9,750 rpm * Compression – 13.0:1 * 48mm throttle bodies * 14,200 rpm redline * Valves operated by single cam follower * 6 speed gearbox * Slipper clutch * Multi disc wet clutch * Chain final drive Suspension * 46mm USD forks * Adjustable preload, rebound, and high and low speed compression * Single Shock with linkage * Adjustable preload, rebound, and compression * Pressure cast (forged) aluminum wheels * 3.5 x 17 front * 6.0 x 17 rear * Dual 320mm floating rotors in front * Radial mounted 4 piston Brembo calipers * Single fixed 220mm rear rotor * Single piston floating rear caliper

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GETsmart

25 THINGS YOU DIDNT KNOW,

UNLESS YOU HAVE WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME!

1 2 3 4 5 6

Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

Slugs have four noses.

Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

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10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words “North” and “South). A snail can sleep for 3 years.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMB ASS) American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour.

DESIREMAGAZINE JUNE 09

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20 21 22

Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing. An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal)

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17 18

Butterflies taste with their feet.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs melted into it. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

India has a Bill of Rights for cows

7 8

9

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple.

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.


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DESIRESCOPES Capricorn: December 22- Jan 19 ou will be May a feeling required to make more time to maintain and develop the spiritual aspects of your life. Not to cry the past, but rather to recall you that without it, you would not be the person whom you have today. An old man fling May to remake surface this month - to avoid like the plague! Aquarius: Jan 20- Feb 18 That emotions of inspiration May of pushing you, you resulting in reviving the artistic side of yourself. You will be May to imply yourselves in an old pastime which passed to the trap door. Old knowledge May to remake surface and new friendships May to develop. Await a little good news of an old friend. Pisces: February 19- March 20 Pisces energy is very strong in this moment. It is the ideal moment to begin search for right Mr. or Mrs. You ensure that you become very implied socially this month, or differently, you miss this occasion. Marriage bells and of white lace are in your immediate future. Aries: March 21-April 20 Financial and of concerns May heavy being of your spirit in this moment. You do not worry because the money situations are in hand in order to dissipate very soon. Unforeseen, small amount of money must come from you. It is a good time to play lottery. 4,16 and 32 are your numbers of the chance for the month Taurus: April 21-May 20 Importance of the love and engagement May to come in your conversations with your close relations. It is the moment of warping and to give more your attention to those which hold us more with you, because they are probably feeling neglected. Work and to make money is important, but that is as worth to show you as the care with those which are expensive in your heart. Gemini: May 21- June 21 Nothing good can come from thoughts of revenge towards those which took favors you. It is a time to concentrate on the recognition and of positive thoughts. You recall, like you to sow, in the same way to draw you. To create a good karma for yourself while concentrating on the light - and not the darkness.

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Cancer: June 22- July 22 Health May concern on your spirit concerning one of your close relations. The situation will not appear as serious as to be to imagine you May. What the means which you can offer an emotional support for your beloved during this difficult time. You will find natural that the adviser in you is good to give words of hope and comfort. Leo: July 23- August 23 You can feel as you were a deterioration of many storms lately, but do not despair! The clouds are soon more breath. Ensure you to try to remain in the present moment, because you estimate that your thoughts are constantly elsewhere. Walking the outside of each day, by yourself, will help you to remain more present and the ground. Ensure you to fully benefit from next the sun. Virgo: August 23-September 23 Angelic forces will have suddenly helped you this month. The energy of the Michel Archangel is particularly strong during this period. It is a good period to invest, buy a real estate or to begin a plan of saving in the long run. To re-examine any investment portfolios with the intention to refine them. To eliminate the lazy ones in your life. Libra: September 23 - October 23 Be careful to let your thoughts rove freely during stress. Your imagination tends to return the mountains of mole hills. Ensure you to be active, spend much time outside and to take time to connect itself with universal energy surround you. Financial exceptional May should be soon your ship finally arrived! Scorpio: October 23- November 21 You do not leave constrained by the opinions of the others. You point out, everyone is entitled to a different opinion that yours, but that does not mean that their opinion is right always! To learn how to trust your own interior voice and to see where it May lead. You May surprised being to see with which psychiquement listening in you are actually. Sagittarius: November 23 - Dec 21 Collaborators May to start to make on your nerves in this moment. Ensure you not to let yourselves take with pewter of office or you until the end of May with eggs on your face. Remain clear of any policy on the work place this month. Await a major shakeup on the work place. Tight lips and silencers of observation are the best approaches for the next situation with work.


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DESIRE Magazine - Tampa, FL - June 2009