ple how young the police were getting or moaning that her doctor was barely out of nappies.
‘Please, don’t feel a fool.’ It was a simple statement and, taken word-for-word, it sounded inane, the kind of thing every store manager would say.
Despite his youth – or because of – he was very reassuring. Told her that it didn’t matter, of course she mustn’t pay for it, was there anywhere she was hurt? He noticed her tights and insisted that she take a pair from the clothing section, with his compliments – was she sure that they couldn’t do anything else for her?
She smiled then, the first one in an age, she could feel it creasing her face and – perhaps? – adding a sparkle to her eye. Walking into her house that evening she was surprised at how empty it felt, given that she’d agreed – of course she’d agreed – for him to come back she would have expected it to feel more like home again. She noted his best shoes under the hall table – already settled – and his sports jacket hanging on the rack.
The cool air stung as she walked outside. Her bag was heavy and, realising that she couldn’t remember where she had parked, she put it on the floor whilst she tried to dredge up the memory – attempted to see further into her past than that enormous crash. It was then that she heard a voice, recognised it before she turned – even his voice sounded youthful, lacking in the authority that a managerial post required. She found herself wondering how he led his staff.
She put the bag of shopping on the island, looked across at the barstool where he’d been sitting not three nights before. Only three nights and already it felt like a lifetime. Funny how quickly she could forget his infidelity. She knew that, if asked, she would say they were shortly going to be celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary, she wouldn’t knock off the months – how many months? – they’d spent apart.
‘You left this behind, Ma’am.’ She looked at her hat, remembered taking it off in his office as she tried to clean herself and calm her nerves.
Twenty seven years.
‘Oh, thank you – really you’ve all been so kind and I feel such a fool.’
Does it matter how many times he’s been unfaithful? How many times he’s been with another? And what of all the other years – was he unfaithful then too? 34