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What is Delta Pride?

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Another Look at the It Gets Better Project

2

Chains

3

Revelations

4

Jessica Mae Photography

5

Proactively Remembering Seth Walsh

6

Coming Out & Moving Forward

7

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

8

Poetry by Jessica Metcalf

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LGBT News & Updates

10

Ask Foxxie??

11

Contributors

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Mission Statement Delta Pride

Delta Pride is a communal effort of San Joaquin Delta College Students, Management and Faculty (regardless of sexual or gender orientation) to come together and discuss differing topics of today's society. The club will help promote students to understand all lifestyles, as well as help out the college-wide and citywide community in any way possible. The club is a community of LGBT and Straight allies that come together to promote equality. Events the club participated in are:

has

National Day of Silence National Coming Out Day AIDs Walk San Joaquin Spirit Day 10-20-10 Marriage Equality Event Delta Pride meets Every Tuesday at 2:00pm in Shima 127. All are welcome.

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Delta Pride Board *President: Brian Wick *Vice President: Chris Sandoval *Historian: Vacant *Treasurer: Logan Davisson *Secretary: Vacant *Publicist: Vacant *"Jedi" Webmaster: Mike Du Pont *Community Relations: Vacant *Activities Coordinator: Adam Hendricks *Advisors: Lisa Perez; Kirstyn Russell


By Brian Wick

The It Gets Better Project was started by Dan Savage (a sex advice columnist) in September of 2010 in response to the wave of gay youth suicide. Dan and his partner Terry created the first video and invited anyone who wanted to support to create one as well. Now there are thousands of It Gets Better videos created by celebrities such as Anne Hathaway and Zachary Quinto, politicians like President Obama, Hilary Clinton and Joel Burns, corporations like NBC, and people like me. It has garnered national attention and is starting to gain international attention. There are millions of hits on the YouTube site and the number of pledged supporters is over 250,000 and counting. Now the project has a book with proceeds going to charities that help LGBT youth I am so happy about how much this project has grown since I posted in October on it. Remembering the deaths of the kids who took their lives because they couldn't handle life anymore is something that still really affects me. I really hope these videos are helpful to so many people. The statistics of LGBT youth are so depressing. If you are young and gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender and you are bullied or harassed know that it does get better. I say it because I know. Yeah there will be hard times, but you have to be strong because there are so many great moments in life and you won't get to experience them if you are gone. There are people like me waiting to get to know you so please hold on.

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The beginning of freshman year Of high school

By Jessica Metcalf Chains: With each passing days since she was a young girl She added chains One by one For a while Then, Two by two And then Three by three Till It had wrapped from her head to her toes Entrapping her in this downward spiral Till The chains squeezed the life out of her Dead at the age of 32 – what? I once asked why? Because, Chains were added daily Each chain had different yet similar faces Pot, Heroin, Whatever she could get her hands on When she was on the outside Depression

I Lost The woman Who gave life to my precious being And my three other siblings.

Drugs, It has been a word I’ve known since Toddler age Drugs, It has been a factor In destroying my already messed up Family

See here is the thing: Drugs, Each chain when added on one by one Is light Not noticing the extra weight, You Continue to Spiral down and down Till you hit Rock bottom! For some that may mean: Rehab, recovery, realigning your life

They have been a defining factor In my family But, That stopped with me Because, I Broke The chains That was surrounding my heart From my birth – for I was born a drug baby!

For others that may mean: Chains Loss of life at any given time

Sometimes, are hard to break

For everyone:

But,

We can’t choose the first set of outcomes

Once you do You will have

Sometimes we get hit with the second set equating in death!

Sweet freedom!

Lustfulness Prison life, a constant in and out One by one they ensnared her Over and over again Till She overdosed on a normal typical day!

Why is she so important to me? Why must I tell her story? Because,

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Dead – why are you dead? Didn’t you see of feel the chains? She didn’t but, I did! “Generational curses” – they can be hard to break

Drugs, It is a word That one of my stories I have to tell Is based on. My outcome wasn’t good for my mother But,

But,

I use the word

It is possible!

Drugs,

Don’t let others suffer what you suffered through loss

So, that I can give you a wakeup call

Don’t let yourself suffer from personal experience

Before the clock runs out!


I attended San Francisco pride with the intention of having an amazing time and fun with friends. As a side goal I had a fun bet with a friend that for the whole day I was going to act as flaming as I could (I am straight). Then he would attempt to act straight (he is gay). Whoever had to break first for any reason lost! Well he ended up not going but it sounded fun so I decided to still hold up my end of the deal. I did not plan to act in satire, just as many of the stereotypes as I could get while still being believable. So equip with a moderate lisp, bandana, tight tshirt, and a diva attitude I set off. The day was brisk and we were weary from pulling an all-nighter in an attempt to beat the traffic. Still, our hopes were high and excitement was busting at the seams. As I began my “act� I discovered that I am too good at being believable =). My hips swaggered; my hands were out and gosh darn it I WAS a princess. I discovered a few things. First of all, it is so much fun not having to worry about acting gay, because it was my intention. After a few hours though I was having a hard time keeping it up. I noticed myself just speaking normally. The overly happy aura was even harder to keep up. I am a happy person but I am generally conservative and quiet. So from there came my second more important discovery. In trying to act and feel as a part of the community I got to experience and deal with something that I never had before, having to hide who I was. I had to keep up and act based on expectations. I had to be someone that I wasn't. My experience will never come close to what someone in the LGBT community gores through but it was a revelation into the world. I have more respect for everyone trying to deal with trying to hide who they are, and trying to keep up with ways of acting that aren't who you want to be. It would be a terrible thing to live with every day and I can't even imagine what it may truly be like to have to live with. So please, please, be whoever you may be for good, bad, ugly or beautiful. If situations in your life won't allow you to then change those situations. This life is yours, rise up and live it.

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Jessica Mae Photography

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BY BRIAN RATTO

SETH WALSH

PHOTO: THE ADVOCATE.

Dan Savage and his husband

has recently been able to

Terry

the

open a Pride Center, and is

internet-based It Gets Better

in the process of starting a

Project. The project has more

Safe zone.

than 220,000 videos on its

There is also a group of

Miller

to

YouTube.com

start

page

and

has a stand-alone website

people from all walks of life and

organizations

working

Friday, September 2, 2011 is

www.itgetsbetter.org.

a great day in LGBT history

Many people, from all walks

County Pride Center up and

of life, have submitted a video

running. San Joaquin County

and

is one of the largest urban

here in California. It was the day

"Seth's

passed

Law"

and

was

sent

to

Governor Jerry Brown's desk awaiting signature. This

law

was

by Assembly

authored

member

Tom

Ammiano. The law is named in memory of Seth Walsh, a 13 year-old gay student from Tehachapi Calif. who took his life after years of anti-gay harassment in school. AB

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"Seth's

Law"

will

ensure that California schools have

anti-harassment

and

anti-discrimination policies that include actual or perceived sexual

orientation,

identity,

gender

expression,

gender,

race,

ethnicity,

nationality,

gender

disability,

and

religion or association with one or more of these groups. The death of Seth Walsh was one of many LGBT youth suicides

that

happened

in

September 2010, prompting

6

the

project

together to get a San Joaquin

continues

to grow.

areas without a Pride Center.

There have been countless

As part of my personal goal

attacks

of being more active in the

from

on

the

LGBT 1998

students

murder

of

LGBT community I have been

Matthew Shepard to the most

attending

meetings

recent killing of Larry King.

Central

Valley

These events need to stop.

Democrats

Since coming out at age 16, I have

been

slander

and

subjected

to

bashing

but

thankfully, never a physical attack. I cry every time I hear of another LGBT life lost due to someone's ignorance. The lives we live are precious and we have the right to live

it

how

we

see

fit

without persecution. The

local

clubs

and

organizations I am a part of have

been

making

major

strides in the progression of LGBT safety. Delta

Pride,

San

Joaquin

Delta College's LGBT Club,

Club

of

the

Stonewall and

have

been helping out promoting the

San

Joaquin

County

Pride Center. The

chance

to

make

a

difference in the world is very slim and if I can make one LGBT person feel that they are loved I am doing my job as an activist and a gay man. Supporters of Seth’s Law:


Coming out, and moving forward

by Mike Dupont

Coming out of the closet may be one of the hardest things anyone may have to do in their entire lifetime. It changes one’s life, as well as the lives around them. People will have opinions about it, but remember that being locked away in a shell will never feel right in the long run. I am speaking from experience by telling you that’s it a lot easier to be out now, than being closeted. I realized I was bisexual at age 13, at that time, I didn’t know what bisexuality was, nor that it existed. I knew what “gay” and “straight” was, but this feeling was unfamiliar to my understanding. I was inside of K-MART when I saw a Pamela Anderson poster and noticed how hot she was, and then I saw a Mario Lopez poster and noticed he was hot too. I didn’t comprehend it. I thought something was wrong with me. How could I be attracted to both men and women? What was it? "Am I freak?" Suffice it say, I kept it inside because of this notion that my parents would not be understanding and that if they knew they would try and “fix” me. I learned at age 16 that bisexuality is nothing strange at all, and it truly exists. Thus when I was in High School, I pretended to be straight, to not be bullied, even though I was bullied plenty for other things. The Bullying was the typical material obsessed teenagers complaining about how I did not “fit in” with their lifestyle, which was okay since I just wanted to be myself, which was a lie anyway. I even lied to my friends about it, which I regret since two of my friends were gay and I could have talked to them. I was still too afraid because I wasn’t sure if they believed in the adage that being bisexual means I am just confused about what I want, or that it’s an excuse to hide the fact that I may be gay. I knew how kids were ridiculed and tortured for being gay, and I knew if I came out, even with my friend’s support, it may have happened to me. I became distant from my friends during my senior year. I only hung out with a select few, and then I started hanging out with girls more. I don’t know why I shifted like that. I was bewildered beyond belief. I was still in the closet because I feared rejection, ridicule, and hatred. It’s an uneasy feeling, and it may even be a justified feeling given what’s been going on in the media as of late. College came along, and I was still afraid because now I was among adults and older kids; kids who could feasibly beat me up, or so it appeared. However, as college went on, and I got a job at Taco Bell, I noticed that college has a wide array of individuals. Gay, straight, Bi, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic; you name it, Delta has it. Still I was worried. My first boss told me her son was gay, and that made me feel better about coming out if I ever decided to do so. Eventually, I had a crush on a co-worker, who was

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also gay. It got so intense, that I had to say something to him because I had never crushed on a guy before. So, on

my 21st birthday, I came out as present to myself. I told my co-worker how I felt, but was soundly rejected, but that didn’t seem to bother me at all. My parents were surprisingly understanding about it, and they were only mad that I didn’t come out sooner. That co-worker and I never dated, but we became good friends, and he helped me come out. I began to realize I didn’t care anymore about what people thought or said, and that they have to accept me for who I was. Taking this risk was hard because I was still living with my parents at this point and they could have kicked me out. After that, I was eager to get involved with the LGBT Community hoping that I can somehow change someone’s life, or at least make things better. I want to be an inspiration to at least one person, and at present, I am the “Jedi” Webmaster of Delta Pride. I joined Delta Pride in 2009 and I began my Webmaster duties right off the bat. Delta Pride is an amazing club and they are my support group. When I heard about the club, I knew I had to join. After I came out, I was still struggling with feelings and notions of it all, so I felt in order to save my life, I needed this club, and it has become essential part of my life. I am unaware if anyone knows that, but after reading this, they will. There is a fixture in my soul for this club, and I support everything we do, no matter how big or small. When coming out I firmly advise a person to come out after High School, because it can save them from a world of hurt. College has so many more options open to you as an adult, and there are plenty websites for support. Coming out is self-explanatory. It’s simply allowing yourself to become who you are, and there is nothing wrong with it, despite what others think. As the phrase go “It Gets Better.” It does. If you’re a straight ally, don’t be afraid to show it. Yes, even they get treated harshly, just for supporting us. Be proud of what you support. However, everyone’s situation is different. Your family may have their beliefs about preventing you from coming out, which are okay. If you live with them, then it becomes increasingly difficult. But once you are on your own and can make decisions about yourself, then come out. If they don’t accept you, what are they going to do? Cut you out of their life? Some family they are. Trust me, it works a lot better that way. You need a support system, so find one at school or in your community. Nothing in life is easy, and coming out is harder than you think, but I promise you, coming out and being honest with yourself and others will make

you

happy.

The

feeling

of

freedom

can

be

overwhelming, but it’s welcomed and you feel better. But again, like I said, wait until after High School. Some High Schools have a Safe Zone, however, not all do, and not all counselors know how to help gay students. Never be afraid to be yourself. If you aren’t yourself, then who are you?


By Brian Wick

I think everybody at some point or another has felt a need to be something they aren't at one point or another. Being yourself, loving yourself, accepting yourself for who you are have been themes in television, movies, music and books. Glee's episode "Born This Way" explored the issue as did a few of the songs within the episode (attention to the photo). Now I am going to. Sometimes it sucks being you. Being myself got me bullied as a kid. It may sound stupid, but I loved Power Rangers until I was in fifth grade when all my classmates had outgrown it and they all made fun of me for it. I had an overactive imagination as a kid meaning sometimes I had trouble separating fantasy from reality. This meant I was bullied for it. Then the Harry Potter stage came. I love Harry Potter and still do, but when I was in middle school I was made fun of for having Harry Potter t-shirts. Some of my classmates even called me "Harry Pothead". It hurt. I wasn't good at most sport especially the ones that counted to the other kids (basketball and football). I was

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a nerd and spent all my free time reading. So minus a few friends I was treated terribly by my classmates. Now of course this was just when I was younger. High school was better in a lot of ways. No one made fun of me for liking to read. My overactive imagination was considered me being creative. It was also worse in some ways. I was gay. If you read my post about my sexuality than you know many people weren't supportive of me being gay, but I had a good support system of friends who loved me. My home other hand was different story and was quite the opposite of school. I couldn't be honest with my family anymore because I was afraid they wouldn't love me. There are so many other things. All my life I have felt insecure about myself for some reason. There was always something pointing out my flaws. Of course much of it was my own criticism of myself. The church told me because I was gay I was going to hell. My step father said it was disgusting. I wasn't athletic enough. I was considered girly.

I always felt that I was too skinny. Some people have told me I won't make it in the real world as a writer and I need to have a real job. So many criticisms. You’re too nerdy, too gay, too girly, and too skinny. You’re disgusting and a pervert. You won't make it as a writer. You’re not good at anything. And it all made me feel like shit, and some days it still does. Most days this how I feel. I am who I am. I am confident. I am gay and proud of it. No, I am not good at basketball or football, but I am athletic in other ways (dancing and used to be a decent tennis player). I will make it as a writer no matter what anyone says. So what if I prefer Harry Potter to football, that fantasy world beats just about anything real here. I am not disgusting. I am me. I may sometimes feel like I hate myself, and anyone who says they don't ever feel like that is a liar, but hey its life and I have to remind myself that I am a better person because of who I am. Also, I am still learning. Just because I say all these things doesn't make me a saint. I have judged people as well and sometimes questioned others just for being themselves, but that is because sometimes I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am working on it though. Love yourself and to be cliché let your "Freak Flag Fly".


Eating Me Away Words spill from your lips:

FRIENDS

Fat!

Forgive and Forget

Day after day, I eat less and exercise more Yet, you still call me overweight, fat, huge!

Realize space is needed from time to time

Slut!

Ignore the little things Enjoy every minute you spend together

Day after day, I push everyone away Yet, you still call whore, slut, tramp!

New and old can mess if the pieces of the puzzle fit

Ugly!

Doubt not, have faith and trust

Day after day, I cover up my “blemishes” Yet, you still call me hideous, ugly, repulsive!

Speak your true feelings at all times

Fat! Slut! Ugly!

> 16.2 Minutes > “An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes.” > Smile, > give a compliment, > say thank you, > asks how someone is doing, > give someone a call to show that you care, > send them a text or a message on facebook, > just say hi even to a stranger, > visit a friend who you feel needs a visit, > and > among other generous sincere kind things > Can you do just one of those things > In 16.2

Your words replay over and over and over again! Again! Again! Again! Bullying! It is your way of feeling better!

seconds? > For it may save a life!

Just Another piece of Writing Though we may not talk as much as we used to and as much as I’d like to, you still mean a lot to me! Though distance and lack of visits is hard, I still think about you every day! Though all these things seem to be tearing us apart – they really aren’t! Though you don’t always believe what I say – I always tell you how I see it - weather I’m right or wrong that’s a different story! Remember, the days way back when – why can’t it be like then? Remember, our visits, our talks, our trips – why must there be an absence of fun time? Remember, how close we once were – why has the bond started to unfold? Remember, the many conversations which were written in our book – why has the ink slowly started to disapper? Why must the petals fall?

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August 26, 2011

San Joaquin County to establish a Pride Center in Stockton

Mike Dupont, “Jedi” Webmaster

July 19, 2011

Splashing back into action

Mike Dupont, “Jedi” Webmaster

Delta Pride made its return to Delta College this week, but not without making a splash. First and foremost, Delta Pride is excited about opening the Delta College Pride Center this fall. It's been a goal for Delta Pride to get a Pride Center on campus for quite some time. It may only be a one of our goals achieved, but a goal nonetheless. Over the summer, three of our Board Members have resigned; not because they are not satisfied with the club, but for other reasons that will not be disclosed. The search is on to fill these seats on our board, and we do have some hopefuls for each position. Also, President Wick has decided to split the Historian/Publicist position, which gives us yet another opening on our board. The available positions are Secretary, Historian, Publicist, and Community Relations. If anyone is interested, please send us an e-mail or contact Brian Wick on our Facebook Group which is located in the Links section of this site. Safe Zone is moving along slowly, but will be picking up again this semester, with it finally being established in the near future. The Safe Zone is extremely helpful to students who have nowhere to go, but to a fellow teacher who will provide them with resources and counseling. Also, Delta Pride is always known for its events. We are planning a Coming out Day event, as well as soon cool stuff in the future. Rumor has it that the Marriage Equality Event will pop back up this semester as well, so look out for that. Club Rush is September 5th through the 9th, and Delta Pride will be bursting onto the scene with information about what we are up to. We also have a summer issue of Unsilenced Magazine in the works, and will be prosperous. Jessica Metcalf is now the co-editor of the e-zine, so her trusted eye will pick and choose some fine stories, articles, art, and pictures that will make this issue blossom. Also, just when you thought Delta Pride couldn't get any bigger, there may be a Delta Pride Google+ Group coming...only time will tell.

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As of late, San Joaquin County has lacked a Pride Center. However, recently, a group of LGBTQQIA activists are starting up their own Pride Center here in Stockton for San Joaqiuin County. People from all spectrums of the community are coming in to help; people from Delta College, UOP, Imperial Court, and other places are banding together to start up this project in hopes of bettering our community. A Pride Center in San Joaquin County is vital, as it provides a helpful resource for distraught and confused individuals who are struggling with their sexuality, identity, and other social issues in regards to their sexual orientation. Delta College recently started their own Pride Center on campus, which is being ran and set up by Delta Pride, the LGBTQQIA club on campus. As it provides the same needs to students as it would a traditional Pride Center, it’s not enough to serve the entire county. University of the Pacific also has a prosperous Pride Center established on their campus as well. However, a community-ran center would encompass a greater amount of awareness to all of the cities in the county. Delta Pride is extremely happy that a county Pride Center is being established. Delta Pride President Brian Wick is working closely with the members of the group and is providing much needed support and work. A location for the Pride Center is yet to be determined, however, the Pride Center does have an official website: http://sanjoaquinpridecenter.weebly.com as well as a Twitter @sjpridecenter. If you want more information about the San Joaquin Pride Center, send an email at sjpridecenter@gmail.com.


w

elcome readers this is the section where your questions can be answered. Foxiie is as sweet as can be and thrives off the happiness of others. Foxiie enjoys helping others so ask away. To ask Foxiie questions please email unsilencedmag@gmail.com with the subject line ask Foxiie, questions can be sent in anonymously.  Q: My best friend is straight an I have a major crush on him, but I'm sure he's not going to feel the same way, but with that said he is very sweet and considerate of my feelings. I told him these feelings yesterday and he didn't take it well, and said that I should have kept that to myself. Now I'm scared I ruin my friendship, do you think so? A: It's hard to tell if you're friendship has been "ruined". I'm glad you expressed yourself to him, but you have to realize that was a lot for him to handle. This doesn't necessarily mean your friend is uncomfortable he just needs some time to think give him a few days before you speak to him. I looked up some different people’s opinion on this matter and I came across this guy who is in the same position as you. He said the best thing to do is not linger on these thoughts. His straight crush told him he wasn't interested in knowing about these feelings. It took a few days until his friend started talking to him again. In my situation I myself have told two straight friends of mine about my feelings. Honestly, the first one ended up never speaking to me again (he wasn't really the greatest guy anyways), the second friend took it lightly and said "if I were gay I'd want you too, but I'm not" (ha-ha he's great). Bottom line is hope for the best you can't predict what's going to happen. If he is a true friend he will understand and let you know he does/doesn't feel the same way  Q: It kind of bugs me when people assume I'm straight when I tell them I'm gay people always say faggot. Even my mom says it what should I do? A: Well if people assume your straight this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes in certain situations you’re better off when people assume you’re straight v. being gay. Some people don't like the LGBT community and want to harm or worse kill us. As for people who call you faggot do not let that provoke you in any way. This even includes your mother. Having a mother who does not understand or accepts your sexuality is not easy. Take what your mother says for what it is WORDS. Words could never affect or define who you are they can always be changed. Do not let your mothers words affect you in any way try your best to let it go. In the long run your mother will have to come to terms with these words and she will be carrying them on her shoulder. Stay strong and remain positive!  Q: I just cheated on my boyfriend should I tell him? A: Well you have two choices either you tell him or keep it a secret. If you were to tell your boyfriend everything will be said and done, you will have a huge weight off your shoulders. Yes it will be scary and hard. Yes your relationship may end but you will have a clean slate and won't feel guilty. If you decide not to tell him you may get away with it or he could find out.

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Co- Editors Jessica Metcalf Brian Ratto

Board Contributors Brian Wick Mike Dupont Adam Hendricks

Member Contributors Foxxie

To contribute to Unsilenced Magazine please email: unsilencedmag@gmail.com 12

Unsilenced Summer 2011  

an LGBT magazine/ ezine

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