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August 30, 2013



CROSSWORD ACROSS 3. Stringed instrument (5) 9. Monetary unit (6) 10. Agree (6) 11. Scope or extent (5) 12. Darts line (4) 15. City in Pakistan (6) 17. Travesty (7) 19. And not (3) 20. Maxim (5) 22. Secret hoard (5) 24. Umbilicus (5) 25. Noblemen (5) 27. Stitch (3) 29. Raise (7) 32. Done at once (6) 34. Paradise (4) 35. Snow leopard (5) 37. Vegetable (6) 38. Develop gradually (6) 39. Hospital worker (5) DOWN 1. For a specific purpose only (2,3) 2. Greek letter (5) 3. Bleat (3) 4. Fleet of ships (6) 5. Prison (4) 6. Eight-sided figure (7) 7. Wading bird (5) 8. At no time (5) 13. Prattle (7) 14. Rub out (5) 16. Flower-shaped badge (7) 18. Banishment (5) 21. Colour (5) 23. Whaler’s spear (7) 26. Thin flat pieces cut off (6) 27. Room (5) 28. Fret (5) 30. Confuse (5) 31. Go in (5) 33. Ballet skirt (4) 36. Night before (3)

FITS THE BILL: The duck feeder in action as a carp hits the net and Mark with the fruits of his labour

This is quackers!


LOOKING back, I reckon the most fun I ever had in fishing was during those years when I competed in club matches.

down, too. Or they’re struggling to keep the doors open. Matches have become quite serious affairs as well. Many a successful angler has the look of a This was in an era before dear old Maggie gunslinger these days with a cold steely glint in their eyes. It’s all about the winning and the shut down the mines and the steelworks so there was a thriving working men’s club, a money, although I do get to hear a few funny miners’ institute or a pub on every street tales of anglers falling in, breaking poles, leaving corner in south Yorkshire – and each one had their bait at home and so on, but real funny wind-ups don’t seem as prevalent as they a thriving fishing section. used to be. Most would organise up to a dozen fishing At least that was my impression until this matches through the summer and autumn week when I heard about the antics of one Mark months and demand for seats on the buses Price, owner of the Stainforth Angling Centre, frequently exceeded supply. near Doncaster. Fleets of coaches headed off to distant venues I used to fish against Mark when we were both like the Trent, the Witham, Welland, Nene, members of Carcroft Village Club Coronation Channel, Middle Level, 40 nearly a lifetime ago. He was a Foot and 16 Foot Drains on handful as a teenager and Saturday and Sunday mornings, difficult enough to get the better of each packed to the rafters with but nearly 30 years on he’s quite a fishing tackle and anglers. master of commercial fisheries. The mickey-taking would start Each summer Mark organises a before you even boarded the coach series of summer evening matches and would continue throughout at the local Sykehouse Fisheries the match and all the way for his mates and customers. home afterwards. The pools are deliberately kept If only we could turn back low so the prize money on offer is the clock because this, for me, was less appealing to those who only fishing’s heyday. want to line their pockets so those It was a laugh a minute with who do turn up are mostly there jokes and pranks galore being for a bit of fun. played out on venues far and wide. On the final match of the series Society has changed so much. The Mark always devises a ridiculous clubs are struggling and hardly method to use, just for a laugh. This year he anyone goes fishing by coach any more – they’re invented the duck feeder... far too expensive. Now picture this – Mark is casting out a Everyone has a car anyway and the sheer plastic duck with a swimfeeder glued to its base. amount of tackle each angler carries means Suspended a foot beneath it is his hook bait. you’d never fit 40 anglers and their gear on a bus By twitching his line he can make the duck like we used to. And the venues have changed. wag its tail but when a fish takes his bait the There are still lots of club matches but they duck’s head dips forwards as if pecking at the tend to be smaller affairs and staged on nearby surface before swimming off at high speed to a commercial fisheries rather than on the wild, chorus of quacks from Mark. distant waters of old. Cormorants have put paid During the three-hour match Mark caught no to those anyway. less than 57 carp from an unfancied peg using Millions of roach have disappeared down the his ridiculous method to finish second, just over throats of these immigrant birds to the point a pound short of winning outright. where you’d struggle to make a decent catch if Long before the match ended he had a gallery you tried. Many of the clubs and pubs have shut of spectators sat behind him and each time the duck set off across the surface they all joined in with the quacking! IT WOULD be rude not to make Sykehouse Fisheries my fishery Anglers trying to compete were of the week after enjoying my afternoon there. Established five laughing so much they were in tears but the more you think about it the years before it opened up to the public, the surroundings are more it makes sense. mature and kept in immaculate condition. Head for the stock Fish are not afraid of ducks, in fact pond if you fancy catching good-sized carp on pellet waggler, carp frequently swim behind them the best of which run well into double figures. There’s an because they will actually eat astonishing head of silver fish in this lake and winter match their ‘pre-digested vegetable based weights of roach have topped 70lbs. If you prefer bagging on droppings’ – urghhh, I know! But the pole then the match lake is perfect because the carp are of that’s nature for you. a more manageable size. Like most commercials you must use There’s talk now of a match at the fishery’s own pellets but the good news is they are by far Sykehouse where all the competitors the cheapest in the area – at last, a fishery that isn’t trying to have to make their own floating toy, rip us off! Contact owner Ray Lane if you want more details on be it a bird, a frog, a fish, and fish 01405 785403 or 07885 745538. with it. Everyone who gets involved Sykehouse Fisheries are located on Mawson Green Lane in will have a barrel of laughs.Isn’t that Sykehouse, near Doncaster. The post code for sat-nav users is what fishing should be all about? DN14 9AJ.



1. What super veg can reportedly stop the onset of arthritis?

3. What did former Bond villain Steven Berkoff (above) get fined for this week 4. What is about to outlawed in California?

5. What percentage of private school pupils have their fees paid by their grandparents. 6. How many Commonwealth migrants can vote in Britain despite not having citizenship?

7. How many people will die ‘two decades too soon’ due to unhealthy lifestyles 8. How many students in Liberia failed the university’s admission test.

9. A new study has revealed what is the most important thing to a man in choosing a partner? 10. A shop has hit the headlines after asking a woman to do what when she tried to buy a fly swat?

CROSSOWRD – ACROSS: 3. Banjo; 9. Dollar; 10. Accede; 11. Ambit; 12. Oche; 15. Lahore; 17. Charade; 19. Nor; 20. Axiom; 22. Stash; 24. Navel; 25. Earls; 27. Sew; 29. Elevate; 32. Prompt; 34. Eden; 35. Ounce; 37. Carrot; 38. Evolve; 39. Nurse. DOWN: 1. Ad hoc; 2. Alpha; 3. Baa; 4. Armada; 5. Jail; 6. Octagon; 7. Heron; 8. Never; 13. Chatter; 14. Erase; 16. Rosette; 18. Exile; 21. Mauve;

2. When does middle age officially begin?

11. Care minister Norman Lamb thinks what should be given to the elderly? 12. Which celebrity crooner has welcomed his first son into the world this week?

13. Which eighties ice cream is making a comeback? 14. Which Hollywood celebrity couple have split after 13 years together?

15. Which cartoon is set to return to TV screens?





QUIZ – 1.Broccoli 2.53 3.Knocking a woman over with his car. 4.Revenge porn 5.10 per cent 6.One million 7.50,000 8.25,000 – not ONE student in the country passed! 9. Beauty 10.Show ID. 11. Cleaners 12.Michael Buble 13.Funny Feet 14.Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas 15.The Wombles 23. 27. 30. 33.

Harpoon; 26. lices; Space; 28. Worry; Addle; 31. Enter; Tutu; 36. Eve.

Sport 2013 08 30  
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