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As long as marriage is part of our society, and you don't marry an orphan dealing with in-laws will always be a source of aggravation. Just because you love someone very much, doesn't mean you will always love their parents. Learning how to deal with the two people who brought your mate into the world is essential for a happy tranquil life together. First, you must be assertive, listen to your in-laws view and weight what they have to say, but then state your own opinions. Don't say yes to things you don't mean and then regret it later. Secondly, learn to keep those things private that should be kept private. When newly married, sometimes we tend to tell in-laws too much. There will be certain issues about your relationship that may not need to be shared. If you don't want things to come back and bite you later, you may not want to tell them things that should be kept private between you and your mate. Third, respect, you may notice that your in-laws want to give you advice about everything in your life. Because they are older, some of it may be good advice and the rest you may want to dismiss, but for the sake of harmony listen. Then decide what could be useful and disregard the rest.But make them feel that you appreciated the advice. Fourth, Separate, with love, some in-laws can be troublesome, getting along with them is an never ending story. They have many problems of their own such as addictions and mental disorders. You can not allow their problems to become your problems. You should be supportive and loving, but don't let their negativism bring you down as well. Fifth, set boundaries and appointments with your in-laws don't let them over run your lives. Have scheduled times for them to visit you as well as scheduled visits for you to visit them. Let them know you don't like surprises. Setting boundaries is also very important both in the case of you and your spouse and with the grandchildren. Tell them they are loved and cared about very much but at all times you and your spouse must be in control. Seven, probably, the most important point is for you and your spouse to talk and be on the same page. You must remember that they are your in-laws, but at the same time they are your spouses parents. So at all times you must agree on how you are going to deal with issues relating to them and at all times treat them with respect.

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Bryan Burbank is an expert in the field of Women and Relationships

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Dealing With Difficult In Laws  

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