Here & Now 17th National Conference of the European Youth Parliament Ireland
Issue | Two
“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story” Three intense days have gone. Yet we have been there to record them all. Within these pages contain only a sample of the memories our journos managed to capture at this session. Photos, articles, snapchats and videos we can record our stories in various ways. Yet none offer as vivid a memory as experiencing them first hand. We hope you have enjoyed this weekend as much as we have. Now, the time has come for us to stop our story. We hope you can carry on yours, both within EYP and without.
David & Megan Here & Now
Contents Megan Smith
Committee Games Scoreboard 4-5
Mundane Facts 6-7
Diary of a Delegate 8-9
What type of delegate are you? 10-11
Committee Poems 12-13
Fashion Police 14-15
Storm: The Man behind the Name 16
EYP from a different Point of View 17
News Headlines 18
Media Poem 19
Dealing with PED 20-21
Scribble Memories 23
DEVE ITRE FEMM LIBE I ECON AGRI EMPL CLIM DROI LIBE II AFET
of facts the session as observed by
You may think you know all there is to know about this session, dear reader. But the world of facts is vast and mysterious, and no doubt there is the odd titbit of knowledge flitting about that yet eludes you. Fear not! Here before your eyes is a lovingly crafted collection of the most mundane (but utterly, truthfully Factual™!) facts relating to the 17th National Session of EYP Ireland. Let the learning commence. 1) If you attended the session, you were there. 7) A fire drill occurred during the session. Safety first! 8) Only one individual at the session was from Monaghan. 10) The pound sign can be typed out by holding the shift key when you press the ‘3’ key. This knowledge was applied at the session. £ 11) The brains of many journalists were racked for the production of this list. All hail the session. 13) The date of the aforementioned Friday was the 14th. 14) An editing mix-up prevented the previous fact about the 14th being the 14th fact, which would have been a lovely coincidence. Sorry guys. 15) One of the rooms at the session was called the ‘Emo Suite’. 22) There were ceilings at the session. Unless you were outside.
23) Emma’s preferred nickname is ‘Emmazing’. Use it guys and gals! 24) No-one at the session was at any point ready for Beyonce’s jelly. 28) Ginger Nuts were the most popular biscuit during coffee breaks. 29) The session was, according to legitimate sources, ‘great craic’. 30) Not a single organisational error occurred during the session. 31) Many attendees of the session were Irish. 36) There was enough green clothing at the session to make a small hill. 38) One of the editors is self-conscious about wearing their glasses. 39) David Corish is the only editor who wears glasses. 40) Numerous global friendships were forged by this session. 41) The session had three vice-presidents. 42) The swimming pool was amazing. 43) Seriously. 44) We cannot emphasise enough what a lovely swimming pool was at the session venue.
46) The session had very efficient elevators. 51) A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. This happens to be the length of a day at the session. 52) Windmills always turn counter-clockwise, except for in Ireland. 53) Ireland hosts a National Session of EYP Ireland annually. 54) This is one of them. 56) The President of the session was once a journalist. 58) All the members of the board have at some point been journalists. 60) All the members of the board who have at some point been journalists and have at some point also been chairs are chairs at this session. 63) During the session, a flash mob serenaded the president. It was beautiful. 64) The best pun of the session was 'EUphemism', overheard in the dining hall. 66) A birthday occurred the day before the session. 67) The word 'session' has more letters than the word 'the'.
68) However, it has one less 't'. 69) This should have been the funniest fact. 70) Owl earmuffs were worn at the session. 71) A polar bear jumper was worn at the session. 73) Despite numerous requests, St. Patrick did not make it to the session. 75) During the session, it was discovered that superman has the innate ability to evolve into a chicken. 78) No rocket launches/space missions were initiated at the session. 79) Over 103 commas were typed during the course of the session. 80) The session can be written phonetically as 'Thuh seh-shun'. 89) Before the beginning of the session, a laptop in England exploded. 91) During the session is a sentence that has multiple occurrences of the letter 's'. 93) This title relates to the fact that delegates will generally assemble. 94) The word 'grand' was used over 18,000 times on the first day of the session alone. 97) There's not even 100 facts in this list 100) Friends are for life :)
The Grumpy One Wednesday March 12th Dear diary, I don't know why I decided to do it! I have to go to Laois tomorrow, with people I don't even like, for a thing called “European Youth Parliament”… I mean, I don't really care about Europe… nor youths. We are all going to grow up eventually… Thursday March 13th ...Seriously, I don't know what I'm doing here… First, we had a problem with our train to get to the session. It had to stop on the tracks because of a cow. The average age is in Laois is probably 70. When we finally get to the hotel, we had to wait (AGAIN) for a room. I'm not gonna lie, I was exhausted and I wanted to sleep, but we had to do that “teambuilding” stuff … outside!! … and it was freezing of course! Some people (I don't even know who they were) made us play some games for mental people. Everyone looked happy about doing that, but I just thought they looked dumb and that they should stop. Friday March 14th ...I'm feeling like it's getting worse and worse. Today was committee work, and we were just arguing ALL DAY! I kept thinking that we were losing time. If at least they would really pay attention to what I was saying, they would realise that I'm the only one who was right in the room. Other people are talking to each other like as if they were best friends, but they only met yesterday. The disco was so loud too! Saturday March 15th ...Thank God ! It's finally over ! Because of GA, I missed the Rugby game… ! Let's go back to this crappy thing. That was so pathetic, people were hugging each other and crying like there was no tomorrow. Hopefully, I'm home right now, so I will be able to finally do what I want to. At the same time, I have this weird feeling … like I'm missing something or there is a gap in my life right now...
The Happy One Wedneday March 12th OMG! Tomorrow will be like the best day ever. Me and my ginger friend, Bridget McKenna, decided to attend The National Session of EYP Ireland. It’s gonna be class craic! I can't wait to see all the people. I even washed my hair earlier today, so I am ready to go. I can't sleep. I'm going to eat that chocolate pudding now... Thursday 13th March ...Fantastic Day! I met so many people today. I don’t even know where to start. I have found out so many new things. I thought that Cavan is like in the North of Ireland, but I guess I really suck at geography. Teambuilding, Oh so fun! At first I thought it will be all embarrassing and what not, like the last time I fell into the swamp, but it was sooooo good. I can't believe I am really going to say this but, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE COMMITTEE WORK TO START! My committee is really funny and crazy. The last time, two guys got into the fight and ended up all covered in hay. I think they're like gone FOREVER! Friday March 14th ...This committee work is such good craic! You get to be creative and stuff. Brainstorming, pffft I don't even know how to describe it. It is like ... boom! and suddenly you have so many ideas. We have discussed the topic of global friendship, and the point is...the point is...WELL, JUST BE FRIENDLY AND TOLERANT, LIKE ME. It is like hippie movement, just with your clothes on! Saturday March 15th Dear Diary, I’m home and I have just put the suit and the smelly dirty socks into the washing machine. What happened today?! The session is over WAAAAAAAAH. Aw, such a pity. I still cannot believe that the session is over. I woke up today surrounded by hundreds of people, AND NOW! I am on my own. It is kind of sad, I feel like part of me is missing now. UGH WHY IS IT OVEEEERRR?? Time for some Ben & Jerrys... P.S. Do not forget to buy a new suit.
What Delegate are you? Beginning of the session: everybody stands in a circle. A stranger is yelling some crazy songs in the middle. What do you do? A. Correct their grammar. B. Stand awkwardly with your hands in pockets. C. Pretend to mime the words. D. Get annoyed when people don’t know the song. E. Ohhhh, a snapchat... F. BUCKAAWWWK.
If there is conflict and tension within your committee, what do you do? A. Keep arguing your point, because you’re right. B. Cry. C. Try to sort the problem out. D. Continue to correct people’s grammar E. I can’t believe she wore that jumper with those jeans. Ugh. F. Sounds like a cock fight.
You’re in your committee for the first time, surrounded by strangers. You start playing silly games, what thought comes into your mind? A. Pffft, this isn’t even hard. B. Do we have to communicate? C. Great! D. This isn’t even a circle. E. I wonder does this Hollister look good on me? F. I wonder when will we play the chicken game.
What do you do if you’re late for committee work? A. I’m not late, your clock is wrong. B. I’m so sorry!! Sorry sorry sorry sorry! C. Enjoy the butt-spelling. D. You’re not late. E. We had committee work? F. Sorry, I was munching on some juicy chicken wings.
How much preparation have you done for the session? A. Nothing. It’s already in your head. B. I don’t know? 2 hours? Maybe C. I read the overview D. I wrote a novel, ten books and started an internet blog. E. I wonder what Ciarán’s mum is doing right now? F. Are you on Agriculture? If so, you’re sorted
You’re chair announces that committee work is over. What is the first thing you do? A. Cry. Because you will never finish talking. B. Thank god! C. Too bad it was fun. D. You’re still not happy with that resolution. E. You arrive for the committee work. F. Chicken Hut WHOOOOOP !!!
One of the delegates won’t shut up and keeps talking. How do you react? A. Do nothing. It’s probably you. B. You’re glad. C. Ask the others what they think. D. Correct everything they are saying. E. They’re ruining my nap time. F. Offer everybody a good Chicken Hut.
It’s lunch time, what are you doing? A. Telling the waiter he did something wrong. B. Under my bed. C. With my committee feasting on nasty beef. D. Measuring the distance from your knife to the table edge. E. Eating with my hands. F. Chicken. Lots of chicken. TURN OVER FOR YOUR RESULTS...
If you got mostly A:
The know it all – You know everything… at least you think you do. Spending hours scouring the internet and long forgotten books, gathering a wealth of seemingly useless knowledge which only comes into use during obscure EYP topics.
If you got mostly B:
The extremely shy one – You don’t say much. Although not contributing all your thoughts to the committee, you silently watch, and judge, and your fellow delegates. Usually a goldmine for quirky and probably weird information, you’re the hidden gem of EYP sessions.
If you got mostly C:
The average Joe – You blend into any and every situation. Possessing the qualities of an almost chameleon mutant, you spend the best weekend of your life undercover.
Stupefying others Upon first sight With their green passion Struggling to clean up Their committee room, And believing That climate change is a myth Resting in their fantasies about Some calm secluded forest Seeking a world Free of greenhouse gases With sustainable infrastucture construction
So which delegare are you? Find out below.
But one of their biggest Concern is to demand FEMM committee To man-up
If you got mostly D:
The perfectionist – Everything must be perfect. EVERYTHING. You strive for god-like expectations that nobody else other than fellow perfectionists can accomplish. A quick test to find out – does this annoy you; DefinitelEy. Are you close to tears? Have you already demanded the issue to be reprinted? If yes, you may well be on your way to perfection.
If you got mostly E:
The “doesn’t care” – You’re too cool for EYP. Showing up with your radical hipster attitude and wearing more Hollister clothing than was previously thought humanely possible – you’re only here because it’s “A day off school”, or so you say. Deep down you yearn for EYP like a 12 year-old yearns for Justin Bieber.
If you got mostly F:
The chicken guy – You have more than a slightly odd obsession with chicken. Basically.
If you got G at least once: The idiot – You are wrong.
Marilou & Ciaran
All-together we work, conquering desert islands and saving babies, nothing can hold us back.
For as one team, we can achieve anything. Europe’s boarders, nations, and neighbours will be safe and peaceful. Together anything is possible, but individually we are drops in the ocean.
The lost committee Separated from others Like Scotland could be Strictly focused work With many a selfie sent So #Rio Michael D. is king All hail our supreme leader #Michael D.
“Fantastic is great Hoccus Poccus just add FEMM FEMMtastic! Tadaa!”
“ITRE love haiku, Pillars of Integrity, Not enough tape”
They call us, Agriculture Swagculture. Could you be more gaspacho ?! Don´t act like a macho! THEY NEED HELP! Working farmers WE NEED AN ALARM WE HAVE TO SAVE THE FARM! So go home Or get it done. But, FARMERS Keep it calm And listen to this alarm.
“EMPL is our committee The delegates are quite witty What do we say For an international day Held in Portlaoise John isn’t very niche”
Because we are Agriculture Swagculture We ate all the gaspacho! We are more than macho. We will get it DONE!
Just resolutions (With plenty of Just Dancing) Just DEVE all the way
Human Rights have pride of place on their board, that’s why DROI are never bored! They met each other with teambuilding, but thanks to committee work they were reaching. We all want to be part of this commission, because we all oppose discrimination. Your features and identity should not be penalised, that’s why for the future generation, this problem must be recognised. « Park the nun » is what they scream, and rights for all is their great dream. As you understand, they will tackle our plight, and as they say « You’ve got to fight for your right ».
“Lucy and Hannah chair, Quite the fantastic pair, LIBE they lead, Delegates take heed, Vote against if you dare.”
There was a committee called ECON They came up with a resolution they could agree on. They roll in the Dosh, they like to act posh, Private Econ jokes?? Are you serious?? PS I can’t rhyme
Fashion Police Questionable Fashion is now asking Questions Meet the lads Introducing the Fashion Police. An elite team of fashion guru’s from around the country, from the wild wesht of Mayo to the Cavan boys up shtateside... not forgetting the mighty Athlone Town.
This one is for the ladies Be careful how good you look, when you go up to the podium we may not be listening to just your points… #distractions. (Just for the record, the same applies to the likes of those beautiful guys from the mighty Marist). Heels We dedicate our lives to this fine art, and all are great. They give you height, but don’t go aspects of it, for we can only truly understand crazy. You need to be able to go up to the pofashion by becoming one with it, spiritually. dium without doing a Jennifer Lawrence on it. We will be giving our expert opinions on the #Morto good, the bad, and the risky outfits that we see throughout the session and throw in a few Dresses and skirts are your best bet. Colourlife tips, to get you looking fiiiiine. ful and cheery help draw the wandering eye during the GA, and don’t forget to do someAfter a misguided attempt at Connaught/Ul- thing with that hair! It can make or break an sters, EYP have brought in the big guns, to get outfit. the job done, for everyone knows that lads have the best taste in fashion. The not so hot I was pleasantly surprised not to have seen ’Fashionably Late’’ many disasters this weekend, but one outraThe classic way to arrive, depends less on geously bad combo has been spotted. Unforwhat you wear when you arrive, but rather tunately it was an inside job, and our very own when you make your entrance. You would be Thomas ‘shtone mad for shpeed’ Monaghan surprised how often people mess it up. The - White ankle socks with a black suit. #Whatrick is not to be too late, or too early. Make tAreYouDoing #Shameful that impact, but don’t arrive 5 hours late, it’s frowned upon. To sample this, we pulled it off The risky on Saturday, turning heads as we strutted in The one and only Caoimhe O’Rourke is back at five to ten that morning. #TheEditorsSure- in the lead after taking a big risk with this exCanPullOffAScowl #SozzlesAgainMegan citing suit. #SheIsTheOneInYellow #Posing Suit Up! We were pleasantly surprised on Saturday with the sheer number of suits and ties, but there is one person that has stood out. Confidence, going against the mundane and popular choices of ties, this man has taken a chance and it has paid off. Introducing bowtie guy (the bottom right). He is rockin’ it. Sheer class. #TheMightyMarist
Shout outs An essential for this article. Big shout out to Ciara & Anna (the original fashion police). We would all like to apologise for raising the bar so high. We’d be glad to give you tips anytime. Sign offs See you around lads, until next time.
The Man Behind The Name
No doubt curiosity has spread throughout the session as to the nature of Storm, EYP’s most deeply enigmatic chair. A contemplative, peaceful atmosphere is brought to any room Storm enters as he entrances those around him with his intense gaze, but the true nature of this rising star is not immediately apparent. In the words of his own delegates, Storm is both “cool, collected, mysterious and stylish... a definite wizard who blends into the shadows” and “a real trooper”. Is there a fire within this man that rages like a hurricane? Our official EYP exposé provides all the answers. Storm Gibbons started out as a humble bagel-maker, learning his craft under the guidance and supervision of Holland’s master bakers. Secluded in his mill in an isolated region, inhabited only by bagel-making silent monks, Storm lived a life of meditation and reflection. This is where Storm earned his name, and gained his reputation as a quiet, brooding apprentice constantly battling his inner emotional turmoil. Time passed, and Storm discovered his fluency in Mandarin as he traced through his Chinese ancestry online. When his training was complete, he wandered the lonely swamps until one day he came upon a pond with inexplicable waves seemingly reflecting his own inner tumult. However, when he cast his gorgeous green eyes onto the restless surface, suddenly the water settled, and an immense tranquillity washed over him as he realised what true beauty was. Storm crafted a bowtie for himself from different leaves of the surrounding trees and gathered his newfound powers into it. With a sense of emboldened purpose, he stormed off to forge global friendships and gear his immense talents towards the betterment of his fellow Europeans.
Stanford & Lola
Storm himself is undeniably the physical embodiment of all it is to be in EYP. He is the very essence of any session he chooses to attend, and also those which he does not - the glue that holds EYP, and the universe, together. If you choose to return next year, look to the horizon. You may see a Storm approaching.
EYP is strange, but how strange? How does a session look from the point of view of an outsider? Our Journos caught up with the Receptionist at the Maldron to get their view on EYP. Hello ! Would you mind answering a few questions? What’s your name? "No, no not at all, bring it on! I go by Ciaran" Have you heard about EYP before ? "No, not before the last conference you had here" What do you think about EYP and EYPers ? "Oh, I like those lads, they’re enthusiastic and loud. And they like to run around. They ‘re fantastic, I just keep seeing them going up and down, passing by the reception hall. Are you sure it’s not a sports weekend? Maybe I could run with them sometime."
EYP from a different point of view
What do you think about this session ? "I’ve been working as a receptionist in the Maldron hotel for few years now, and I’ve never seen anything like this . I can tell you, we’ve hosted loads of conferences in this hotel, but this one definitely stands out. You can imagine how intense these last 2 days have been for me - people running around, constantly asking for their room keys because they left them inside, shouting songs that don’t make any sense, and dancing to pretty much every mainstream song in existence." What is the oddest thing you saw during the session ? A lady actually went outside and took selfies of herself for at least 10 minutes. I only have one question : Why ? Kids are obsseed with selfies nowadays that doen’t make any sense. And I won’t even ask why she kept shouting ‘RIO!’ Oh, and then also there was a moment with some ritual cult songs on the field when it was freezing cold ouside. That is called real dedication." What is the moment you’ll remember ? "Oh, well those lads and ladies , they were running around in Irish flags and hats. That made me proud of how youngsters are so proud of their country but also how they want to improve what can be improved. Oh, youth!" Thank you for this short but wonderful chat. "No, thank you EYPers. You are the one who are keeping me young. Only my back hurts sometimes. Cheers !"
Marilou & Dora
Six days ago, flight MH370 vanished off radar an hour after it took off from Kuala Lumpur International Airport, as it flew south of Vietnam's Ca Mau peninsula. No distress signal or message was sent and it’s whereabouts where unknown. The search was still continuing in the Vietnamese water until early this morning when a piece of the missing plane was found near Portloaise, Ireland. It is actually a piece of the right wing of the MH370 plane that was discovered on the motorway, near the Maldron Hotel, where multiple Jumbo Jets (with functioning turbines!) were spotted on Thursday. Experts have no idea how or why the aircraft flew more than 30,000 miles, but enquiries are underway. Marilou Pelmoskova
News has just arrived in from the 17th National Session of EYP Ireland of a vicious and unprecedented panda attack during GA. The panda bears reportedly infiltrated the venue in the form of ‘amoebae’ and worked their way through the system as slow and nimble as sloths. Several courageous chairpersons were seen to use their raised arms to become Superpersons, but even they could not have anticipated the bears’ sudden evolution into chickens. Chaos reigned supreme as streetfighters, ninjas, and the fashion police tried to pacify the fowls, but ultimately the incident ended with an uncontrollable LIBE 2 jumbo jet (with functioning turbines) crashing into GA, leaving only destruction and burning placards behind. It was about time we got rid of that point of personal privilege card anyway. Lola Hourihane
The canine owners of Portlaoise have been left with their tails between their legs after 4 month old Rottweiler Marley, was mauled to death by a rabid delegate outside the Maldron Hotel, Friday night last. 16 year old Mike Litoris is in the doghouse after he attacked by-passing man's best friend during an EYP coffee break. Fellow EYPers had reported suspicious behaviour after he was seen foaming from the mouth, growling and staring longingly at the dogs hindquarters for several minutes. "He was all over the place like a dogs breakfast", raved one farmer delegate. "Ah well, sure ya know what they say, every dog has his day....Except this one." The attack sparked fury amongst active animal-rights delegates, who staged protests in General Assembly, however, things quickly died down after they realised that no one cared. The beast was quickly subdued and put down after a few well placed belly rubs. Thomas Monaghan
Delegates, Alumni and staff at the Maldron Hotel Port Laois were delighted to hear, pop idol Beyonce took time out of her busy tour schedule to perform a rendition of The Fields of Athenry during the Disco on Friday evening. This afternoon the ‘Crazy in Love’ singer was spotted with daughter Blue Ivy at the Chicken Hut but later found to be eating a footlong from Subway. . Bruno the Hotel Manager was given an all access back stage pass to the aforementioned star but in return had to play duck duck goose with Blue Ivy, while EYPers did things in rooms scattered across the hotel related to the EU or China or something like that. According to sources close to the star Beyonce wanted a selfie with the session president but due to time constraints Alison had to decline. Aine Tierney
Megan is the mother, She looks after us for free, Baby when she grabs that wooden spoon, And chases after me, And David is the Daddy, I swear I'm not lying, I walked in on him one night, on his bed crying Poor guy was sweating, and took a drink of water Because that doppelganger delegate was actually his daughter And then we have CiarĂĄn, who has a crush on his mam, He likes to take off his top, just because he can, And the other half is Jack, they're a twisted pair, But they're awful sound lads to be perfectly fair. Lola is creative, colourful and fun Insult Harry Potter and you should probably run, Dora hails from Serbia, if you can find it on the map But she's here with us in Ireland, unafraid to throw a shlap, And Lewin is a German, I'm jealous of his hair I also hate my bed, maybe we can share? It can be very simple, for a session to go splat But to organise it perfectly, Leanne did just that, A Finn and a French shakes up the team, Ana and Marilou, A diversity dream. Elodie and AinĂŠ, from the Alps to Donegal, Writing articles and entertaining us all. Which leaves just Timm and Stanford here, And Stan's from England, so we're perfectly clear. Journalists gather from far and wide, but with these kind of standards, It's impossible to decide. The memories we've made are for everyone to see, At the National Conference of EYP.
Aine Tierney Feeling Blue? Lonely? Have an unfufilled longing to play Ninja? Maybe you have Post-EYP Depression?
Symptoms of PED include lack of appetite, nostalgia fits, an urge to use satire and puns in everyday conversations, a brief period of an oversleeping condition as well as a strong need for more EYP sessions. OoohhHHHh FRIEND!! So you have made your new bestest friend, met the love of your life or whatever floats your boat. However, when you were invited to participate at this session, you were blissfully unaware of one thing: There would be PED once the session is over.
What is Post-EYP Depression? It’s an inevitable disease that threatens everybody from the moment they first enter EYP and quite most of us do get infected by it. If you’re that cool kid that this predestined disease doesn’t snatch, you’re lying! (I know you’re reading this while weeping like a little baby, clutching onto that post it, which has some brutal joke your The first case of PED was witnessed back committee only gets) #cute #privatejoke. in 1987 in Fontainebleau, France when the Let's all get together in an exchange of first EYP session took place. In dealing with compassion.
Feeling down? Dealing with Post EYP Depression their PED they sent letters attached to pigeons to their new friends because the 80’s were ages ago and those oul wans hadn’t a notion they could use other forms of communication. If any of you, doubt that PED exists; you can check Wikipedia just in case, its pure legit like! It is said that there is only one thing that can cure PED completely and that is simply to attend sessions! Other known remedies include, but are not limited to, sleep and interaction with other delegates, snapping, tagging, tweeting , and facebooking your new best friend is also encouraged to help you with your ordeal.
A famous quote in describing PED from one of our own Irish Alumni Dee Campbell (orga extraordinaire), “PED is like waking up on Christmas morning and realising your sitting in an exam hall doing the Leaving Cert” #FML So moral of the story, you will cry, you will spend the next week creeping/adding/ poking ;) / snapping/ untagging pictures of you looking like a fool / texting that hottie on the committee / sleeping and remembering the wonderful, indescribable, weird, fantastic time you had at the 17th National Conference of the European Youth Parliament Ireland 2014.
#59 #Of #The #Session #Hashtags
Compiled by Stanford
Insert Memories Here #Draw #Doodle #Write*
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Published on Mar 20, 2014
Issue Two of the 17th National Conference of EYP Ireland. March 13-15, Portlaoise, Ireland.