Most people get started with heroin one of two ways. Either a person drinks and dabbles with so called “recreational” drugs (usually smoking marijuana) or they get some kind of injury or operation and a doctor prescribes them painkillers and they get hooked. In many cases, the junky innocently starts by just hanging out parting, thinking to themselves, “I’ll never do hard drugs.” After getting use to drinking and smoking weed, they start thinking, “what the hell, I might as well try other drugs”. One drug leads to another drug, snorting or smoking usually leads to injecting. The other approach is usually more devastating to the user. In fact, this type of addict might have never have even tried other drugs or alcohol. By some unfortunate circumstance, a doctor has over prescribed the person painkillers. After a short period of time the doctor has to stop prescribing these drugs. The addict might be able to lie their way into other doctor’s office’s or forge prescriptions, but eventually someone comes around with heroin and the addict realizes this not only last longer, but many times it’s cheaper. Not to mention they don’t have to use needles anymore to use heroin, now they can just snort it or smoke it. Which most of the time leads to the needle. Either route, whether it’s taking pills, smoking or snorting, all roads that start with opiates usually end with the needle. Many people do have a fear of needles; this protects the user from heroin and other injectable drugs for a while, but with time most people‘s curiosity gets the best of them. Once you’ve tried it, there is no going back! Unfortunately, I never had this fear, not even as a child. The only reason I used to agree to go to the doctors was to get my blood taken. I know it sounds demented, but it’s true. Then when I got a little older, I was institutionalized for a month. Everyday the nurses would stick me with giant needles to draw blood for all kinds of tests. Some of the nurses were bad at this. The nurses actually let me start doing it myself; just to save my arm from being painfully stabbed over and over. After I was released, I realized if I can take blood out, putting drugs in would probably be a lot more fun. Unlike most people, I went looking for drugs to do; peer pressure had nothing to do with it. Infact, a couple people turned me down, I almost had to beg just to get high for the first time. It was liquid deluded, and I fell in love instantly! As in most cases, I started my life of drugs with drinking (the worst drug of them all), which led to smoking weed. After smoking weed for a few years, I graduated, at least my drug use did (I dropped out of high school in the middle of eleventh grade). I don’t know if it was because I started using when I was thirteen or if it was the people I hung out with, but I think would have probably done anything right off the bat, but weed was pretty much all I could find. I was in rehab when I was fifteen, but only for weed and alcohol. Oh yeah, and I also loved stealing butane, that was so easy to get. They tried to convince me in rehab that butane was my drug of choice, but I persuaded them into realizing that if I could get other drugs that easy, they would all be my drug of choice. While in rehab, I learned how to do bigger and better drugs that was about the only good rehab did for me. Before rehab, I smoked weed, drank, did butane, and maybe tried coke once, maybe twice, but nothing more than that. I was so intrigued by all the great stories of drugs, all the great feelings, all the different ways to achieve what I had been searching for. My parents always regretted sending me away to rehab, it was definitely the worst advice they had ever received!
Then again, it was probably only a matter of time until I would have found harder drugs on my own. I was straight for nine months. Within that nine months was when I was institutionalized for a month (see what happens when you are straight for a while…). The first drug I relapsed on (I guess that’s what you would call it) was LSD. It was all down hill from there. Within a year or so, PCP was my new drug of choice, that was until the love of my life came along, HEROIN! Then I was never the same again. I was seventeen when I first tried heroin, now a days that’s a late bloomer. I see all these young kids around twenty years old that have been already hooked for years. I can’t imagine the life they have ahead of them. I moved away from the D.C. area when I was nineteen, this gave me about a five year period that I didn’t really do heroin, that is unless I came home to visit friends and family. Mostly I smoked a lot of weed, drank and every once in a while ate some acid. Alcohol to me is the worst drug ever invented, but I will get in to that at another point in this book. Weed should be the drug that is legal to possess. Smoking it doesn’t really hurt anyone, unless you consider being lazy hurtful, but a least it doesn’t physical impaired you like alcohol does. In addition, weed doesn’t make people physically abusive or black out, I can go on and on like this and believe me I do in another chapter. LSD and PCP are a different story all together. They are a lot like many vacations, fun to visit, but you wouldn’t want to stay there! To me, the first four hour of tripping on acid is indescribable. You can’t stop laughing, you can’t believe what you hear or see, and either nothing makes sense or everything makes sense. Sometimes even both, but you would have had to have done acid to know what I’m talking about. After the first four hours, everything sucks! You can’t sleep, your muscles are aching, and your stomach is killing you. Either from laughing too much or too much gas. And that gas smells like death! PCP can be fun, but I have a couple of friends that loved it too much. Now they are almost brain dead. I guess today the new form of PCP is special K. Which is just cat tranquilizers. A lot of times PCP was mostly horse tranquilizer, so all of you Kheads can only imagine the difference. Sometimes PCP is Ether and Embalming fluid. I know it sounds crazy, but then again so is PCP. Remember the old bugs bunny cartoon at the haunted mansion, maybe not because it was banned because of drug content. Anyways, remember when the mad scientist spills the Ether. Everyone on the screen is in super slow motion, well that is how PCP can feel, not always. You are either in super slow motion or just super hyper-charged. Super hyper-charged is what happens when you see these people run down the street totally naked or start fighting ten cops and win. I guess I just got older and grew out of most drugs. I’ll still smoke weed every now and then. Mainly it either makes me paranoid or it makes me think about things I haven’t thought about in years. Same thing with PCP, but I rarely ever see it. Even though I do hear it is making a come back. I don’t think I would ever take LSD again. It’s tempting, but I’ll always remember that feeling at the end of the trip. There is no worst or dirtier feeling. Not to mention trying to sleep and all the other horrible feelings associated with tripping. I haven’t really mentioned cocaine, but I guess because it’s the one drug that everyone loves to hate. I never really spent too much money on it, but being a heroin addict I could always get it. Even before trying heroin, I remember making trips into to city to get crack, and before that it was green (PCP). I always had a vehicle, which meant
all my friends that loved crack and had money would have me get it for them. For some reason coke is always calling my name, but then I do my first hit and remember how miserable it makes you feel. I thinking jonesing for another hit is the most pathetic feeling in the world. I mean even if you have a huge pile, for some reason your searching the floor and every other spot for crumbs. Unless you have tried crack, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. If you have, you know exactly what I mean! Even if you don’t search the floor, you know someone that does. Everyone has their own annoying habit that they do while smoking crack. Everyone that does it laughs and jokes about the different fiending methods. Methamphetamines are a different story all together. I didn’t really get into meth until I was older. The first time I tried it, I didn’t really know much about it. A friend turned me on to it without warning me what happens. We sat there for a few hours, snorting line after line. I didn’t know what to expect; other than looking like orange glass, I thought it was just like cocaine. Four days and a liter of Jim Bean later, I finally slept. Anyways, I didn’t really see it again for many years. One time this hippie guy said he had some meth and gave me a line. It wasn’t meth, in fact, I don’t think it was really anything. It could have been dirt for all I know, it got me about as high as dirt would and it sure did burn like hell. Anyways, when I was twenty-six, I had gotten off heroin. I started hanging out in D.C. clubs, meth and ecstasy were everywhere. I started with ecstasy, which burns out really quick, not to mention it’s pretty expensive, then I sorta just got into meth. I had a friend that pretty much always had a lot of money so I would cop the dope and he would pay. It only took a short time to get in good with a couple doormen, which meant the clubs were practically free. We had our schedule down. Monday and Tuesday were sleep nights. It started Wednesday and went through Sunday. Each night was a different club, but oddly the same scene. Infact, Thursday’s rave was actually straight night at a gay club (Which I got wrong the first night I went there. That was just a little awkward, especially because I didn’t know it was a gay bar. I had just moved back to the D.C. area.). After a while, I learned that a lot of people mixed meth and heroin, pressed it into a pill and sold it as ecstasy. I loved this mix. With most clubs being right in the middle of Southeast, my old heroin spot was right around the corner. How convenient. Slowly but surely the meth faded and the heroin took over. The club scene got old, or maybe it was just me that got old. I don’t really know which, but I do know that I never did like techno. Techno has got to be the worst sound ever invented. That constant BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Etc. I’ve had different periods of my life that were clean. Other times in my life I substituted heroin with everything else. The clean times were plagued with depression, laziness, and nothing but a miserable existence. Doctors always offered millions of solutions. Anti-depressants and tons of other drugs, just to take the place of heroin. I only say this because heroin truly worked for me. Each time I was on a constant heroin plan, once in the morning and once at night, I truly had a productive life. I missed one day of work in almost four years. I was always the first one there and the last one to leave. I worked by myself all the time. One of my co-workers was straight for almost two years (which I supported one hundred percent), he couldn’t understand how I had such a great work ethic. It never made any sense to me to take three or four different drugs to compensate for one. Not only did they not work most of the time, but if they did ‘work’ you would
almost be comatose. If you weren’t comatose then you just felt nothing. Who can do anything in those conditions? Not to mention, it says right on the bottle, “do not stop taking this medicine, withdrawal may cause sickness or death”. Well, I might as well just become a drunk! I refuse to take any anti-depressants. I understand that different treatments work for different people. Methadone works great for some people and so do all these other medications. I know a couple people that if they don’t take their medication then they totally lose their mind. I mean badly. You talk to someone like this for five minutes and you definitely know it is time for them to get back on their medication. I just wish our government understood this theory that people are not all the same. I see so many different kind of people getting help, but I have to be a criminal if I want to be normal. For about the last year (Jan 2009) I’ve been on methadone and I’ve done nothing! What can I do