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Our Weekly Member’s Only Newsletter

Date Thai Ladies

issue 5

Can The Relationship Between You and Your Thai Love Really Work or are you fooling yourself ?

part 3 of 7

see her on page 3

Our Member Nui


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Contents Letter from Nathamon 5 The Avoidance of Uncertainty

Welcome to newsletter #5. I’m so pleased you’re taking this journey with me, and I hope you’re feeling much better equipped to meet that special Thai woman you desire.

10 Top 5 Outdoor Activities You MUST Do in Thailand

This week’s focus is on part #3 of our 7-part series, where we will dig deep into Thai customs and why some Thai – Western relationships work really well while others don’t.

13 Dating Without The Dilemma

We’ll also be looking at the Thai view of family and children, so you get an idea of how your Thai woman may be feeling about introducing you into her family, and starting a family with you.

16 Thai Phrases 17 Our Favorite Places 19 More FAQs

Plus we show you the outdoor activities you have to try out when you visit Thailand! As always we want to hear from you. Please write to us with any feedback you have about our newsletter so we can give you the information you really want. OK, let’s get started. I know you’re going to love what I’m going to share with you in this newsletter. Ready? Here’s an overview of this issue… • • • • • • • •

see her on page

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Featured Article - The Avoidance of Uncertainty – What Your Thai Partner Will NEVER Tell You. Spotlight On Featured Member – Meet Nui Thai Adventures – Top 5 Outdoor activities You MUST Do In Thailand Dating Without The Dilemma - The Thai View On Family And Children Thai Phrases – Polish Up Your Thai With These Handy Phrases Our Favorite Places – Discover Where the Locals Wine & Dine FAQ – Got Questions? We’ve Got the Answer Now It’s Your Turn – Get in Touch With Us and Don’t Forget to Check Out What’s in Store in Newsletter #6

You should be familiar with what comes next; grab a cup of coffee or tea, sit back in a comfortable chair and let us guide you to a magical place – a country where the people smile a lot, where the food is to die for and where the right women are waiting to make your acquaintance. Let’s get to really know Thailand… Nathamon


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Member

Spotlight

Jiruttiporn Prathumthip (Nui)

About Me My name is Nui. I’m 31 years old and graduated from The Master of Business Administration of Khon Khan University North East of Thailand. I’m cheerful,love to laughed and i don’t like drama and stress. I have one older brother. Right now I living with my parent and working hard for look after both of them. I’m independent lady. I have my own car and house and I’m very pound of that. I like to listen music and singing. What I Do I used to work as Model, Motor Show Model and MC but right now I’m work as Sale Manager at one of Government factory. We have about 200 clients and most of them are factory and engineer. I taking care 17 provinces in north east thailand. My Idea of A Perfect Weekend I am a girl who likes the blue sea , sunshine , soft beach . Sometimes I like reading a book and listen to some music . when I feel tired I like to do spa. I like different kinds of fruits , I specially like the vegetable and fruits , which is good for my skin ,hehe . I think it is a good way to keep my beauty . well , I consider myself a humorous lady and like to have fun. I am also very simple ,


04 I don’t like to make things so complicated . I enjoy free talking with my friends and spend a peaceful or wonderful day with my friends.

What I’m Hoping To Find I am here seeking a true lover. Love is beautiful. I believe a successful love makes life full of beauty and satisfaction. True love is mutually caring, giving, inspiring and appreciating. I STILL have a dream that there will be one day my man for whom I have been waiting for all my life will ride a white horse and come into my life. I am a lady of taste, speak decent English, being sweet and affectionate, romantic but dedicated, caring and loving, elegant but sexy. I would love to go to concert with my man with my hand in his arm, go to beach to enjoy the sea breeze with him hand in hand, to watch sunset sitting side by side on top of the mountain, many things we can do together, cos anything with my love by me would be something so sweet to do, and I would be the most delighted to cook a delicious meal to enjoy with him and family.


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Can The Relationship Between You and Your Thai Love Really Work or are you fooling yourself ? Part 3 of 7 “In this 7-part series Nathamon reveals the secrets of why some Western - Thai couples enjoy loving, life-affirming relationships - while others crash and burn in bitterness. Understanding these secrets will give you the keys to unlock true passion and intimacy – and rejuvenate your love life!”

The avoidance of uncertainty In the last issue, I shared the second key to understanding what makes your Thai lady “tick:” that of “personal power” and how differently it is expressed in your respective cultures. Understanding the power dimension of culture will help you understand that her quiet, demure and deferential behavior is an expression of respect for you and the position you hold in her life. And understanding the power dimension will also help you see how critical it is for you to be gentle, patient and kind, because abusing the power you hold in the relationship can earn you open rebellion – if not violence – once her “line” has been crossed.


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In this article, I’ll share with you how your culture and the Thai culture deal so differently with the idea of “uncertainty” – and I’ll explain how understanding that difference will help nurture a sustaining, life-affirming relationship – and maybe even spice up your love life!

The Third Key: Uncertainty – Is it something to worry about or is it just a fact of life? “How can she jump on the back of her brother’s motorcycle, sit sideways in her business suit and high heels, and zoom through Bangkok’s crazy traffic – not to mention without a helmet?” “Why does she have to leave that food out overnight and burn incense in front of her dead mother’s picture every single day – she’s been dead for over 10 years!” “How on earth am I supposed to tolerate it when she laughs inappropriately at the misfortunes and accidents of my friends? It’s embarrassing – and it seems almost cruel.” Is this relationship doomed to failure? Maybe. But as soon as you understand that each of you looks at and deals differently with life’s uncertainty, you’ll be able to talk – and maybe even laugh – about the way you were each trained to cope with feeling “out of control.” Just like in the previous two articles, it’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong – it’s cultural. All cultures view uncertainty and risk differently. Most cultures use a three-fold approach to “manage” the stress and anxiety that comes with the uncertainty of everyday life: technology, rules and regulations, and religion. If you were raised in Australia, Canada, the U.S. the U.K., or other Anglo-Celtic culture, chances are you don’t tolerate “uncertainty” or the inability to control your circumstances very well. Your culture probably uses rules, laws, and technology to help people cope. As an example, you might come from a place where there are laws designed to protect you– motorcycle helmet laws, food safety regulations, guard rails on the highway, zoning restrictions in buildings and neighborhoods – all kinds of rules and regulations and laws to keep you


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“safe” from accidental harm. In Thailand, you can ride without a helmet, sell your own food by the side of the road, and raise chickens in your back yard no matter where you live – there aren’t hundreds of laws and dozens of government agencies whose only job is to keep you safe. Thais know that life is inherently dangerous – and it’s your “karma” to take whatever misfortune comes. You see, in Thailand, the anxiety and stress about the uncertainty and unpredictability of life are most obviously managed by religion – in particular, the Buddhist way of looking at the world.

The Thai way to deal with the uncertainty of Life: Buddhism 101 Now I don’t want this little article to be a full course on Buddhism, but understanding the basics might just help you understand some of the “odd” things you think your Thai partner is doing – the little rituals she engages in, the shrines she puts up around the house, or even the way she reacts when unexpected things happen. Buddhism has at its heart, four basic premises – called the “Noble Truths.” They are: 1. 2. 3. 4.

All life is suffering. The cause of all suffering is desire. Therefore, the cure for suffering is to eliminate desire. The way to eliminate desire is to follow “The Eightfold Path.” The Eightfold Path is the practice of:

a. Right Understanding b. Right Thought c. Right Speech d. e. f. g. h.

Right Action Right Livelihood Right Effort Right Mindfulness Right Concentration

Another essential piece of Buddhism is the Law of Karma – the idea that your present condition (whether you’re happy or suffering) is a direct result of all of your past actions. If bad things are happening to you, it’s the result of your past bad actions. If you focus on doing good things, you


08 can improve your chances of good things happening to you. I know it sounds simple – but it’s pretty similar to the Christian idea that you “reap what you sow” and the law in physics that says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, it’s the law of cause and effect, or balance. And perhaps more interesting is the idea that there are six “realms” of existence – gods, demigods, human beings, animals, hungry (or restless) ghosts, and the hells. That means that everything has a life essence – the Buddha, the minor gods, people, cows, flies, ants, trees, tomatoes, grass, dead ancestors, rocks, mountains…everything is alive. It is part of the cycle of life, and the law of Karma implies that a life form is where it is because of some past action. The only way to elevate your position in the cycle of life is through improving your Karma.

So what does this mean about you, and your relationship with a Thai lady? When you’re in Bangkok – or anywhere else in Thailand for that matter – you’ll notice little shrines to the Buddha on virtually every street corner. You’ll see Thai people almost unconsciously making a “wai” every time they pass one. That’s a way to practice “right mindfulness” to stay focused on the Buddhist idea of eliminating desire. You might also notice little “houses” that look almost like mailboxes or birdhouses in everyone’s garden or terrace. Those little houses are for the spirits – the gods, demigods, and ghosts that to Thai people are very real and very present. And beyond the spirit houses, Thai people are very precise about what can or cannot be planted in the garden or on the terrace, as certain plants attract more unpleasant spirits or unhappy ghosts than others. It’s a way for them to practice “right action.” And your Thai lady will want to make sure there is a place in her home to honor the spirits of her deceased family members – who are real and


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present to her. She might erect a little shrine in the corner and furnish it with a statue of the Buddha, photos of the relatives in question, and incense, flowers, or food offerings. Whatever you do, don’t touch the shrine or move things around! You might think it’s “just superstition” – but to her, the shrine is an important way to stay connected to her family and express her respect, and it has been precisely arranged, prayed over, and “cleansed.” You might also find her attitude about misfortune a little “strange” – perhaps she is too casual about not wearing a seatbelt in the car, or too “laid back” in her reaction to a fenderbender. Maybe she laughs when you hit your thumb with a hammer or trip on the stairs. Remember, when bad things happen to her – or to you --it’s all “Karma,” the natural balancing result of some previous action. The point of view about uncertainty in Thailand can be summed up in three words: mai pen rai, which can be translated loosely as “never mind,” or “no big deal,” or “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Crash the car? Mai pen rai. Termites are invading the garage and threatening to eat it whole? Mai pen rai. But you, as a foreigner (or farang) might misunderstand and misapply mai pen rai. If you knock over her shrine, touch a spirit house, step over someone’s food at a picnic, pat someone

on the head, point your feet at someone, or sit on a Buddha statue, mai pen rai is an inappropriate reaction on your part! There are many cultural and behavioral “taboos” – and all of them are designed to keep things in balance, to keep good things happening and to prevent bad things from happening. As you get to know your Thai lady, ask her to explain the little rituals that mean so much to her. Ask her about the cultural “taboos” that help the Thai people deal with uncertainty and balance their karma. If you’re open, curious, and willing to understand, you’ll find that your different approaches to uncertainty can also be a source of delight and fun, rather than a source of conflict!

Next in the series… In the next newsletter, I’ll share the fourth key cultural secret: the “Masculinity-Femininity Dimension.” I’ll help you understand… • Why your Thai lady views “assertiveness” or “aggression” as a character flaw • Why achievement and wealth may not be as important to your Thai lady as they are to you • How to earn big rewards in your relationship with your Thai lady by getting in touch with and expressing your “feminine side” • And much, much more…


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Thai Adventure Articles Top 5 Outdoor Activities You MUST Do in Thailand Regardless of your level of fitness, Thailand’s incredible and seemingly endless outdoors has many adrenaline pumping activities on offer for those who want to get their heart racing. Vacations don’t have to be all about relaxing, they can also be the perfect excuse to get back into shape or have a real adventure you thought only existed in the movies. Treat yourself to a relaxing day on the beach or a long walk in the jungle-like forests, after you try your hand in these Top 5 Must Do Outdoor Activities in Thailand… 1. Snorkeling The reefs and marine life in Thailand is absolutely not to be missed. Scuba diving is also a great way to explore the underwater world of the Gulf of Thailand or the Andaman Sea. So, buy or rent a snorkeling set, strap on your flippers and check out the amazing underwater universe. Phi Phi – Off the end of Long Beach you can see sharks around the rocks offshore only 150 meters out. Going early in the morning is the best to avoid the speedboats making tours. Simian Islands – The reefs here are second to none and should not be missed if you have the time to take a day trip out of Phuket.


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Ko Lipe – Tarutao Marine National Park is far south and no easy day trip but it is magnificent with hidden beaches and less foot traffic to allow you some quiet and solitude, even out of the water. 2. Elephant Trekking When in Phuket, one of the most culturally interesting ways to see the landscape is aboard an Elephant. As Asian Elephants are so big, you have an excellent view of the entire trek, which can be broken down into a day trip or a package tour. The elephants are welllooked after as they’re the biggest profit pullers for these treks. Generally, the tours go through the Rubber Forest and into the real tropical areas that are almost impossible to get to on your own. Afterwards, you will have to opportunity to feed the gigantic, but tame and loving animals some bananas as a sweet farewell to thank them for your trip. 3. Rock Climbing Thailand has been known for its beaches and food above anything else, but in the past decade, the rock climbing world of Thailand has really grown, and gained some serious respect on an international level.

Railay, Karabi and Phi Phi are among the most recognized spots to start your ascents, and there are many tour guides and private companies that will be happy to provide you with reasonably priced equipment, and a guide to the best places to climb dependant on your skill level. Bouldering is also a great option for beginners as the exercise and exertion is comparable, without the fear of heights playing a role in your afternoon. From up high, the water and beaches look completely different. 4. Hiking, Not On An Elephant The trekking in Thailand is widely acknowledged as the best in the world, with tropical forests and what seems to be endless paths and trails. Depending on your enthusiasm, you can organize a trip that will last days, including camping out in the wilderness and eating over a campfire, to just a standard day trip. There are many tour guides, some better than others, which you should look into and ask around for other people’s experiences. In many of the guest houses and less luxury hotels are the kind of people who are looking for a more rustic adventure, and often you will find advertisements left


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by people looking for like-minded souls to join their trips, and make “the more, the merrier” a reality for these breathtaking scenic explorations. 5. Mountain Biking All of the Thai islands, as well as the mainland pride themselves on their hospitality, clearing the roads for tourists to be comfortable and making life as easy as possible. Sometimes, this hospitality can also extend to not clearing the mountain paths so true extreme mountain biking experiences can be enjoyed. They have top of the range bikes for rent, which are imported from America and Europe, and guides that will take you out to explore the mountainous terrain of Thailand on two wheels. If you’re a high-level biker, you can just buy a map or check in with the online mountain biking blogs and see which trails are the best for you depending on the thrills you seek. Wearing a helmet, and letting someone know where you are is mandatory just in case of an unfortunate and unforeseen “bump in the road.”

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Dating Without The Dilemma The Thai View on Family and Children Know

Thais really love and value family. For many Thai women children are a gift to be cherished, and you will see Thai women giving their children hours of close eye contact, along with lots of affection and loving attention. Children are often raised communally by close relatives and not exclusively by the mother, although Asian culture is generally non-interfering when it comes to parenting styles, and tend not to make comments or blatant judgment about the way other families choose to bring up children, particularly those that are mixed Thai and Western. Motherhood is also greatly respected, and increases the social standing for a young woman. Children in Thailand are allowed a great deal of freedom, and are given

responsibility to make good decisions for themselves from an early age. Thai society in general has a high degree of patience and tolerance for the behavior of children, and because of this some outsiders may think children are spoiled or misbehaving. In fact, in the long run, this instills a balance of security and freedom in the child as he or she can both depend on adults but also observe a high level independence when necessary. Thai people are also fascinated by children who show both Thai and Western physical characteristics. A baby of Thai and Western parents should be ready to receive a great deal of doting attention from everyone they run into!


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It’s also considered a little rude to remove the baby from the loving attention of others who are admiring him. Don’t be surprised when strangers ask to hold or cuddle the baby when they are young. As a parent in Thailand there’s always plenty of help on hand. Strangers are taught to appreciate and adore children, and if you ever need a rest it’s not unusual to trust a friendly neighbor or acquaintance with your child for a few minutes whilst you take a break. In terms of pre-marital sex, it’s generally seen as unacceptable for couples to engage in intercourse before marriage. Men and women aren’t allowed to stay overnight together before marriage for this reason. There’s even a saying that goes, “The man wants to be the first for his woman, and the woman wants to be the last for her man.” In reality, Thai society is facing a small crisis because of the modern media craze of sexuality and sex-related images. Premarital sex is no longer absolutely forbidden in many circles, although it’s important in

public to behave modestly and to exercise restraint. Many couples do live together before getting married in order to test out the stability of their relationship. There are often different social expectations from women than with men. Women are not really supposed to smoke. If a woman does smoke, it’s generally frowned upon and seen as undesirable behavior. Women are raised to take care of children and finances, but not to be dominant in the public sphere. However, parliament has a goal of increasing the number of women who participate in the upcoming decade. For example from 2003, taking a husband’s last name became no longer mandatory. Women are working and contributing to household income more than ever, and many men are also opting to assist with chores and housework to ease the burden on their wives. Divorce, however, is still an issue for a Thai woman. Divorced women can be viewed as “tainted goods” who can often find it difficult to find


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new love. It’s really important to realize that marrying in Thailand is marrying into a community of people and friends – most of all family. Although a lot of Thai women elect to rent their own apartments, they are still closely knit to their family circle. If you are seeing a Thai woman, you should be open and accepting to her family and they will be more than happy to welcome you into their lives. When meeting the family, keep the cultural traditions in mind but most importantly simply keep good intentions. Thai people are very loving and considerate, and if they see that you want to make a true effort they will embrace you, and share with you whatever they can!

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Thai Phrases To win the heart of your Thai sweetheart it is important to always stay polite. Thai ladies appreciate a well placed compliment and a few nice words can take you miles ahead. Here are some phrases that can help you to get a conversation started and make a good impression on the girl of your longings.

What do you call this? Ah Nee Riak Wah Ahrai?

That was a great help. Koon Chuay Pom Daay Yoe Ley

You are so cute. Koon Nah Ruk Jang

Please teach me more Thai. Chuay Saun Pasah Thai Pom Nooy

Thank you so much. Kaub Koon Mark Krub


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Our Favorite Places

Chao Phraya River Express Boat Before Bangkok transformed into the mega-metropolis that it is today, the Chao Phraya river was actually one of the most popular ways to get around the city. The river is highly revered by locals because it provided livelihood for the people throughout history. Today traveling along the river by boat is an enjoyable experience that you must try at least once in your life, and sharing that boat ride with your Thai lady from Thaidatefinder.com will only add to the fun!

boat service up and down the river, The Chao Phraya River Express can be likened to a bus on water, bringing you to many of the city’s major attractions.

Once you’re on the elongated boat, it’s quite pleasant to feel the wind toss your hair as your gently travel across the Chao Phraya river. Soon you realize that you’re on a journey to seeing Bangkok from an exciting and new new perspective with your Thai date. A sparkling Wat Arun built in the reign of King Narai in the mid 17th With the convenience of the BTS, MRT, century greets you on the left-hand side, followed by another historical and an endless supply of taxi cabs in Ayutthaya temple Wat Rakhang which this city, we often forget that taking is popular with Thais who visit it to a boat up and down the river can actually be an even more efficient way make merit on auspicious occasions. to get around. One thing is for certain, When you reach Tewet pier, north you won’t be stuck in Bangkok’s of the Phra Arthit Pier, we suggest notorious traffic! Operating a regular


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you get off the boat and take a look at what’s waiting for you in the water. A massive school of fish reside beneath the pier and they are more than happy to jump out for a piece of bread. It’s a startling sight to see so many fish emerge to the surface of the river for a bite to eat! While you’re at Tewet pier, you can also take a tuk-tuk to other tourist sights such as Vimanmek Mansion and Wat Benjamabophit. The Ratchawong Pier also has a lot to offer you and your date on your river boat experience. From this pier you can walk along Ratchawong Road to Sampaeng Lane and Yaowarat Road to explore the beauty of Bangkok’s Chinatown.

Yvonne Liang

Columnist

A regular contributor to Date Thai Ladies, Yvonne live in Bangkok near the Chao Phraya River. When she's not writing, Yvonne loves to get relaxing facials and massages. An avid reader, her favorite author remains Roald Dahl.


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nathamon@datethailadies.com

What information do I have to give in my profile? (i.e., profession? age? children?) We believe in honesty and transparency when building a romantic relationship. And the more information you’re willing to share, the more people are likely to contact you. At minimum, you’ll need to provide your real name, your date of birth, and a photo. We’ll display your age, as calculated from your date of birth, which will be verified during the signup process. While you don’t have to share any information about your profession, your children, your religion, or anything else, for that matter, we encourage you to share openly about the things that are important in your life. Most people do, using the “About Me” section in their profiles. Others, however, feel more comfortable sharing this more personal information once they’re in a one-on-one conversation. Do I have to be interested in marriage in order to be eligible for this service? Please be very aware that Thai Lady Date Finder™ is NOT a website to find a webcam sex service, a mail order bride, a holiday escort, or a “good time” girl. There are plenty of those out there. And we’re not one of them. We are committed to helping people fine serious, lasting and supportive relationships. Some people find marriage the best way to fulfill those relationships – and others can sustain them without marriage. So we require that all of our members express explicit interest in a long term, serious,

sustaining and supportive relationship. By no means do we push marriage, as we feel that is a personal choice that is best decided within the confines of the relationship. You can use this knowledge to find what YOU seek in our Members section. To make the most of your newfound knowledge come and join us on the inside where you can meet a many pre-screened Thai women who are waiting for a man like you to cherish and respect them, and to find true, long-lasting love and live happily ever after. Join us on our next Live Dating Tour Event. These women are highly intelligent. They know what they want and they are fun to be around. We should know because we interviewed and screened each one of them in person. Meet them now in person. Click here to register for a Live Dating Tour Event.for a Live Dating Tour Event.


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contactus Now It`s Your Turn ...

What’s in Store Next Week? Next week we put the spotlight onto another amazing Thai woman. Meet Nunnaphasorn Pattamapraphawan. In part #4 of our 7-part series about WesternThai relationship we will look at “The MasculinityFemininity Dimension” and how the cultural difference of opinion could impact life with your Thai woman. Meet Me Now Bangkok Co, Ltd 33/7 Soi Pipat 2 Convent Road,Silom Bangkok Thailand 10500 Phone +66 2 667 0068 Fax +66 2 667 0069 Email: nathamon@datethailadies.com

We’ll also look at how to grow your finances in Thailand with a guide to “Investing in Thailand- How Not To Get Ripped Off.” Learn how to win the heart of your dream Thai woman as we show you “How Men Should Present Themselves When Dating Online.” Newsletter #6 is going to be overflowing with helpful guidance and advice, so you can get life with your dream Thai woman off to the perfect start.

Follow Me: www.datethailadies.com/blog

As always we will also feature a new set of handy Thai phrases to help you make new acquaintances and communicate better with our Thai women.

Meet Her Online: www.thailadydatefinder.com

Don`t put your happiness on hold a moment longer. We look forward to helping you find love.

Meet Her In Person: www.thailadydatingevents.com

Nathamon

DISCLAIMER Legal disclaimer and terms of use. Although Meet Me Now Bangkok Co., Ltd. believes the content to be accurate, complete and current, Meet Me Now Bangkok Co., Ltd. makes no warranty as to the accurancy, completeness or currency of the content. It is your responsibility to verify any information before relying on it. None of the information contained herein should be construed as legal advice, nor is anyone associated with Meet Me Now Bangkok Co., Ltd. engaged in the practice of law. If you need legal advice, please seek the advice of independent legal counsel. The information and resources contained in this publication are beased on the current Internet marketing enviroment. Because the Internet is constantly changing, the sites and services presented in this publication may change, cease, or expand over time. We are not responsible for any changes that may affect.


Date Thai Ladies Newsletter Issue #5