Our Weekly Member’s Only Newsletter
Date Thai Ladies issue 13
Understanding Your Thai Lady’s “Mysterious” Behavior So You Can be the Perfect Partner of Her Dreams see her on page 3
Our Member Jom
Contents Letter from Nathamon 5 Understanding Your Thai Lady’s “Mysterious” Behavior – So You Can be the Perfect Partner of Her Dreams 8 Thai Adventures 11 Dating Without The Dilemma 13 Thai Phrases 15 Our Favorite Places 17 More FAQs
Welcome to newsletter #13. How’s your journey into the “world” of Thailand going? I hope you’re finding great value in what you’re learning, and rest assured you’re going to be way ahead of many other Western men who come here looking for love because of your newfound knowledge. This week we’ll help you understand some of the “mysterious” behaviors of your Thai woman so aren’t left confused as to what she’s doing and why she’s doing it. We’ll be giving you some advice on Trekking – truly one of the best ways to see our beautiful country. And we’ll help you navigate your way through the sometimes-choppy waters of dating a Thai girl who doesn’t speak your language. Please write to us with any comments or suggestions you have for our newsletter so we can ensure you get the information you value most. Without a moment more hesitation, let’s begin. Here’s an overview of this issue… • • • • • • • •
Featured Article - Understanding Your Thai Lady’s “Mysterious” Behavior – So You Can Be The Partner Of Her Dreams. Spotlight On Featured Member – Meet Jom Thai Adventures – A Complete Guide To Trekking In Thailand. Dating Without The Dilemma - Tips For Dating A Non-English Speaker. Thai Phrases – Polish Up Your Thai With These Handy Phrases Our Favorite Places – Discover Where the Locals Wine & Dine FAQ – Got Questions? We’ve Got the Answer Now It’s Your Turn – Get in Touch With Us and Don’t Forget to Check Out What’s in Store in Newsletter #14
So grab yourself a cup of coffee or tea, sit back in a comfortable chair and let us guide you to a magical place – a country where the people smile a lot, where the food is to die for and where the right women are waiting to make your acquaintance.
see her on page
Let’s get to really know Thailand… Nathamon
Spotlight About Me Hi My name is Parichat Bungpimay. My Nickname is Jom. I am the only child. my parents were divorce. but i am happy with my life and my mother. my child life was difficult. I didnâ€™t had time to play around like other kids. I had to work everything that i can. My hometown is Sri Saket. there is my motherâ€™s hometown and here we have very nice weather just like normal country side plus we have a lot beautiful places such as waterfall and temple of Preah Vihear. My study is medium but if i have any chance I would love to study more. My dream is I want to work hard and one day i will have my own small business such as coffee shop. I like to be my own boss but the most important thing is I want my mother to be happy. MyWork I work at Bistro in Silom, Bangkok. I love my job and my co-workers they are very nice and friendly people.
Parichat Bungpimay (Jom)
My Idea of A Perfect Weekend: On my free time If i have plenty of time I would love to go to the beach with my family and friends or probably just stay at home and watch movie or read a book that nice too. The reason I like to beach is there quiet and I like natural and when I been there I feel relax and happy not like big city. My favorite place that i like to visit is Koh Phangan and Koh Samed. Actually I like all kind of natural places.
What I am Looking For I hope I can find the right one who i can get to know and see what happen with. Just take time and letâ€™s see if we get alone well. My english is not that great but i would love to study more to improve myself. I believe and trust Khun Nattamon and the crew. I think they are credible, harmless, and have high potential in matchmaking. At least, I am not afraid of being deceived. I know where the person comes from and whether he is a swindler as the company has carefully screened the candidates. Therefore, I really trust this team.
Understanding Your Thai Lady’s “Mysterious” Behavior So You Can be the Perfect Partner of Her Dreams
What’s in store for you when you choose a Thai lady as a life partner – and what she really expects you to provide. (It’s NOT what you think!) In this series of newsletters, I’ve been sharing some of the cultural challenges that arise when Western men begin relationships with Thai women. You may understand the cultural differences “intellectually,” with your brain, but until they actually arise in your relationship, you’ll have difficulty experiencing the depth of the differences with your heart. First, the “bad news:” A very high percentage of Thai/Farang marriages end in divorce. And there are hundreds of “horror stories” about Thai/ Farang relationships burning up the Internet. I’m convinced that at the root of many of these relationship disasters is a simple yet profound failure to understand, and deal with, the vast cultural differences between Thailand and the West. Now, the “good news:” As a Thai woman happily married to an Australian man, I’m here to tell you that these cultural differences can actually make
for a relationship that can transform both of you – if you’re willing to commit to exploring and respecting them. You and your Thai partner can use the differences to temper your relationship like fire tempers steel. And both of you will become the better for it. All you need to do is open your heart, and get in touch with your “inner prince.”
What a Thai lady expects from a man As I’ve shown you in previous articles, your Thai lady comes from a culture that is: • More focused on the group than on the individual • More focused on harmony than on conflict • More subtle when it comes to communication • Steeped in tradition, rather than focused on the modern • More focused on “being” rather than “doing” • More feminine than masculine • More rigid in its views of “power”
A girl who is raised in such a culture has a more traditional view of love, marriage, and family. You might think of it as “old-fashioned,” but she really is looking for a strong, gentle man to love, cherish, and care for her. She’s looking for a good, old-fashioned “prince.” She’s looking for her prince to be: 1. Patient. She needs you to take your time (especially during courtship), and let things unfold rather than push to move ahead too quickly. Courtship can be a long, slow, subtle process. 2. Kind. She expects to be treated kindly – without shouting, harsh words, or vulgarity. Raising your voice or getting sarcastic when you’re in the middle of a disagreement will quite literally push her away. 3. Respectful. Never do anything that disrespects her, her family, her friends, or her colleagues – especially in public! There is a strong emphasis in Thailand about allowing others to “save face” – or preserve their own dignity. It’s important for you to remember “good manners,” and educate yourself about what “good manners” means in Thailand. Sure, you’ll make mistakes. But if (and when) you do, take care to apologize and make amends. 4. Generous. The Thai concept of naam jai permeates the culture, and has permeated her upbringing. Offering to pick up the check for a family dinner, or bringing gifts to friends and relatives, or helping her family when they are in need will be expected of you. 5. Faithful. The idea of dating more than one person at a time, or “playing the field,” is completely foreign to your Thai lady. If you have a wandering eye, or expect to be able to
“cheat” on her, you’re in for a very rude awakening. 6. A “Good Provider.” Your Thai girlfriend will expect you to take care of her needs – providing food, shelter, and protection – in a very old-fashioned way. You will be the “head of the house” – and she will do whatever she can to support you in that role – unless you abuse it! 7. Light-Hearted. Thais love to laugh. Thailand is not called “the land of smiles” for nothing! If you can remember to take yourself and the world lightly – to see the humor in everyday life – and to look for opportunities to smile – she will be a willing partner to share joy with.
What drives your Thai lady’s “mysterious behavior” – what you can expect from her Perhaps the best way to illustrate what’s underneath your Thai lady’s behavior is to examine the words of one of Thailand’s most revered poets -- Sunthorn Phu. Often referred to as the “Shakespeare of Thailand,” he was a prolific romantic poet with a distinctly Buddhist flavor, who wrote during the reigns of the first 4 kings of the Chakri Dynasty in the late 18th-early 19th Century. Every Thai child grows up with his poems and stories, as they seem to capture the essence of Thai culture so brilliantly. The poem I want to share with you is called Supasit Sorn Ying, which translates as “How to be a Good Wife.”I think it captures perfectly the attitude your Thai lady will bring into your relationship – and explains the roots of some of her “mysterious behavior.” This translation is by Denis Segaller, from his book More Thai Ways (currently out of print). “If your husband loves you, don’t be stubborn; honour him every day; do not be willful. When it gets dark, you should not
stray away but light the lamp, go and see to the bedroom, make and clean the bed, sweep away dust. And every night when he retires to bed crouch at his feet and pay him homage. Never forget! If he is stiff with aches and cramps, ease them with soothing massage. When you go to sleep, be decorous; don’t let your hands and feet stray over him while you are asleep. If you sleep thus your goodness will shine forth. Don’t go on sleeping till sun is high; you should get up before your husband, and prepare water for him to wash his face. Then do the cooking and prepare the tray of dishes to give a beautiful effect, along with the spittoon, polished and shining. Make sure no dust is in the drinking water. And if you know he has to go somewhere but find that he has not yet woken up, then gently get him up without delay to eat his food. Sit near him while he eats, in case anything lacks; don’t give him cause to shout for it. Pay careful heed until he’s finished eating. Then you yourself may eat. Don’t eat before he does; it is not seemly, and he won’t like it. …Always try to wait on him, serve him, as a friend would do. If you thus serve your husband without fail, then you will prosper and rise in others’ esteem. A true-born lady always shows her nature; don’t throw your good behaviour to the winds. It is not good to be half-man, half-woman, and no one will admire you for that. And if your husband should rise up in anger, you should abase yourself to quench his wrath. Do not allow yourself to raise your voice and answer back. If he is fire, you should be as water sprinkled on him. If both of you are aflame, the fire will spread - anger which then can never be suppressed. Your private conjugal feelings will escape, to become known to all the world outside. What neighbours didn’t know, they now will know. So therefore, don’t indulge in your own
wrath. Be pleasing to your husband; he will love you dearly. Never fail to do the household chores. And if he should fall ill, do not disturb him but smile, console, be pleasing as before; talk to him only when he’s well again; tend to his needs and pander to his mood. Whatever he doesn’t like, you shouldn’t do. Guard your own counsel; don’t show your feelings outside. All the bad things forbidden by your husband you should avoid; your manners should be thus. Do not be stubborn and neglectful; speak only with sweetness. But if you have a quarrel with your husband, don’t spread tales of the quarrel behind his back. Always suppress your own emotion and keep it to yourself; don’t let the quarrel linger on; banish its shadow. Then you will be called one who uses her brains and knows how to conceal all evil things. Do this, and those who know you will admire you and think you clever. And your husband will be pleased.” While this poem may seem to be at odds with the raunchy night girls of Phuket or Pattaya, the romanticism and advice is at the heart of your Thai lady’s being. It previews what’s in store for you if you pursue a lasting, loving relationship with a Thai lady of good character. Until next time…
Thai Adventure Articles A Complete Guide To Trekking In Thailand When people think of Thailand, the first thing that springs to mind is the bustle of Bangkok, and the soft sand of beaches in the southern islands. While Thailand is all of that, you shouldnâ€™t forget the breathtaking treks. Most of the outdoor adventures to be had are in the north of the country. Here are a few of the most highly recommended treks broken down by region as well as a few good tips to keep in mind for the smart trekker. The Treks The most well-known region of the north of Thailand is Chiang Mai. Home to one of the biggest cities in the north, it has become a major point of entry for those just arriving to the area. It has plenty of lodgings for travelers of all budgets and an active nightlife for those looking to cut loose after their treks. There are tracks for trekkers of all levels. Of the many trekking options out of Chiang Mai, there are two treks that offer some of the richness of Chiang Mai. The first is a two-day and one night trek called Chiang Dao. The trek that starts out of Chiang Mai takes trekkers up into the Chiang Dao mountain range for an
unforgettable nature experience. The trek also provides for a cultural tour of the area with the possibility to visit Hill tribe villages as well as Buddhist shrines. For those that are interested in additional activities, there is bamboo rafting down the Ping River and elephant parks in the area. The second trek is a bit longer and meant for more experienced trekkers. While still in the same area of the Chiang Dao Mountains, this trail takes you on routes that lead through the Chiang Dao range and descend in to the valley of the Maetang River. This trail will lead you along Hill tribe villages that are higher up the mountain where you can better enjoy the views. The next area to visit is Mae Hong Son. These treks leave out of Mae Sarieng and end in Ban Mae Sam Lab. These treks can take up to about seven days. This trail traverses a number of the Hill tribe villages providing for cultural interaction with the villagers. With the exception of a boat ride at the end along the Salawin River, all travel along the trail can be done on foot. These treks also include lessons on jungle life and survival by the local guides. The main highlights of these treks are the mountain beauty and wildlife along the way.
In the Mae Sot region, there is a trek that normally takes four days to complete that runs through the Umphang valley. This trail will take you along the Mae Khlong River, through wildlife reserves and to villages of the people of the Karen tribes. Among the highlights of this trek is the Tee Losu waterfall and bamboo raft rides down the Mae Khlong. As with the other treks in the north, there are elephant experiences for those that wish. The Tips Before you head out to enjoy your trek, there are a few things to remember to do and bring with you. Before having left your home country, you should have received a number of general shots to immunize you against a number of basic diseases. If you’re planning on going trekking, tell your health provider. There are a number of shots that are specific to travelers who are out in the bush that aren’t part of the standard travel package. Don’t risk ruining your vacation because you forgot to get your shots! There are a few crucial things that every trekker should bring with them when heading out on the trail. Firstly, extra socks, you don’t want to be walking in wet socks. You’ll be out near water and you don’t want to end up with blisters because your feet were wet.
Don’t forget that while Thailand is mostly warm and pleasant all year round, it can still get pretty chilly up in the mountains. Dress accordingly! Bug spray/netting can mean the difference between you enjoying your trek in peace and spending the whole time suffering from bug bites. Check the weather! Certain treks are seasonal because of the weather. Don’t show up to find that your trek is closed for another six months. This is just a brief guide to some of the “must do treks.” While many of the treks offer similar options, each has its own character of the region you trek. Once you’ve had a feel for Thai trekking, it’s something that you’ll want to come back for again and again. There’s a whole world of amazing treks out there for you to explore.
Dating Without The Dilemma Tips For Dating A Non-English Speaker – An Ex-Pat Speaks
At first thought it can seem like dating a nonEnglish speaker has more cons than pros. You’re worried it will be silent and awkward, that you’ll have no idea what she’s saying and she’ll have no idea what you’re saying, and that after the first few minutes there will be no place to go in the conversation. So much of our romantic lives in our country of origin are dependent on conversation about ideas and opinions. When you take out heady conversations with the utmost of attention paid to the minute details of all our thoughts and feelings, what’s left? As it turns out dating someone who doesn’t speak English as a native language is more fun than you think, and not only is it fun, it gets you in touch with a more natural, calm side of yourself than you ever would have imagined, or been able to with someone in
your native tongue. The first time I dated a woman from another culture, I was so attracted to her… but so nervous and insecure. How would we possibly communicate? The first thing I learned was that there is so much happening in a conversation besides words. It sounds corny, but little details were so much more important, like the way she laughed or blinked her eyes, the things that interested her, the way her eyebrow curled at a new word. And the best thing was curiosity! When you’re with someone from your country of origin, nothing is ever new. But when it’s someone from a completely new experience, there isn’t that mundane
overlap about everything. The newness and curiosity is endless, almost childlike wonder! She can say something and it’s less likely to be misunderstood, because it will be simple and straightforward, although there is a lot of room for flirting, too. I can’t describe the charm of a Thai woman, simply because so much of it is incredibly subtle – in the smile and gentle way with which she is communicating with you, not necessarily the content of what she is saying. And it’s consistent, as well, she’s not going to be completely warm and friendly at the beginning until you get to know the “real” her. The culture simply raises women quite differently in relation to men and relationships. In order to date a non-English speaker, the only tip you need is to be simple, loving and generous. Say what you mean, speak carefully and at a gentle pace, and be curious. The more you want to learn, the richer your relationship will be from the beginning, and the more fun you’ll have, too! Bilingual couples are the greatest because there is never an end of things to share and discover, and the more time you know each other, the more you learn you still don’t know! No danger of growing old and bored together, just wiser and wiser. Another tip is to really put yourself out there. When you like her, don’t hold back and try to tell her verbally, beating around the bush with all sorts of nonsense. Small gestures, like body language, brushing her fingertips, gently holding your hand over hers, and making sure you open doors for her are all subtle ways of showing her what you won’t need to with language. Remember that she is interested in learning English and all about your home country! This is your
chance to put your story into an interesting, simple format for an eager ear to learn about, and she will be grateful that you are doing the talking about something she cares about. Also, get your ear keen on the accent. You don’t really need to learn another language as much as you need to learn how a speaker of that language sounds when they speak English. I felt like I was never going to understand a thing at the beginning, but after a while I realized that if I acclimated my ear to the vowel and consonant sounds from the mother tongue, the English of Thais became perfectly comprehensible! The key is to really listen for the types of words you would expect to hear in the conversation. Once you get used to listening from the other person’s viewpoint of what they would be likely to talk about, all of a sudden the accent will melt away in your mind, and you will be able to communicate. Above all, patience and persistence is key, with a splash of curiosity. Know when you don’t know something, and don’t be afraid to say when you don’t understand. Don’t be afraid to guess either, and ask whether or not you have it right. Remember communication is your friend, and always try to err on the side of more rather than less.
Thai Phrases Finally you made it! Youâ€™re here in Thailand and just about to meet the lady of your dreams. Here is how you can set up a meeting between you and your crush:
When are you coming? Mue Arai Koon Jar Mar Krub
Where do we meet? Raaw Jar Nut Pob Kan Tee Nai Dee
Can you wait for 3 more minutes? Koon Chuay Raw Pon Eek Saam Nar Tee Dai Mai
If you go, I will go as well. Tar Koon Pai Pom Kau Yark Pai
It is much better than watching tv. Mun Dee Kwa Kaan Nung Doo Tee Wee Tee Barn Yur Ley
Our Favorite Places Floating Market
At Thaidatefinder.com, we’re constantly on the hunt for date spots that are off the beaten path and unknown to most foreigners or even some Thais. While floating markets may seem to be a dime a dozen in Thailand, we found one that has a little extra something to make your date even more memorable. Spending a day at the Ayutthaya floating market with your Thai girl is definitely something you should try because there’s so much for the two of you to see and do. It’s really Thailand at its most lively, colourful, and yummy making it the ultimate feast for all your senses. Going to the floating market with your date also means you get to try
twice as many types of food because the two of you can share and sample all the different dishes the boat vendors are cooking up. It will amaze you how the vendors can turn a small boat into a full-fledged kitchen, grilling, chopping, and cooking all sorts of delicious things. And just as you’re feeling the midday heat, a rowboat will have just what you need to cool down - coconut ice cream sprinkled with crushed peanuts. Another must-try Thai delicacy is the “Mieng Kam”, which consists of many different tastes and textures mixed together in one bite-sized package:
“Mieng” means “many” and “Kham” means “one bite”. In this dish you’ll find tiny bits of dried shrimp, peanuts, ginger, lime, chili, and a dollop of sweet syrup all wrapped up together in a small, edible banana leaf box. The explosion of so many flavors in your mouth just incredible. Apart from the typical food and souvenirs, this unique floating market offers an added surprise to the experience. While enjoying the shopping and good eats on the river, you and your date will get to enjoy a charming re-enactment of traditional Thai stories performed right in the river!
A regular contributor to Date Thai Ladies, Yvonne live in Bangkok near the Chao Phraya River. When she's not writing, Yvonne loves to get relaxing facials and massages. An avid reader, her favorite author remains Roald Dahl.
If you have questions about dating and meeting one of our pre-screened Thai ladies, then chances are you will find the answers here. If not, please contact us and we will update this section to help other members in future newsletter issues. Can I meet ladies that I haven’t yet connected with online during the Thai Lady Dating Events™? Yes, the idea of the Dating Program is to promote you to a wider group than just the online connections. We can promote your profile to our database, which is much more extensive than just those ladies who are online and visible to you. We will promote your profile with your timetable in Bangkok.
that you’re taken back to your hotel at the end of the date. You’ll meet a number of ladies without hassle, obligation, and without the pressure of commitment. You can find out (in your own time) who really clicks with you! If I find a lady that I would like to connect with on Thai Lady Date Finder™, do I have to meet her in Bangkok? Can I invite her to my home country? If you are connected, you are free to do as you choose. The good thing about being connected is that you don’t need to use our service any longer.
However, we offer this service for a Ladies that want to meet you will respond. very good reason. It is better to mix and Once they do, we will forward their profiles mingle and date without the pressure and and photos to you, so you can select obligation that flying around the world the ladies you would like to meet. Once creates. the mutual agreement is in place, we will It’s also very important to understand the introduce you. cultural implications behind inviting a Thai girl to your home country. We will arrange the dates. We choose only the highest quality venues to provide both In Thai culture, it is almost like a proposal. a relaxing and romantic environment that Her family and friends will know you are is still comfortable and casual. flying to see her. The fact that you haven’t met yet is not important. To her and her Our personal driver and professional family it is a great loss of face and respect concierge will make sure that you are if the relationship doesn’t continue and escorted properly to the date venue and become permanent.
However, for the lady to meet you through our dating program diminishes all those expectations. It is a traditional Thai way to meet a potential partner. An introduction through family and friends is the traditional way to get together. Because the Thai lady spends a good deal of time with our agency (through meetings and personal interviews), they quickly see us as friends. Our personal concierge coordinates the dating process, which accommodates traditional Thai custom and helps the lady feel more comfortable. This unique service allows for a whole range of wonderful, sensational Thai ladies who would not normally meet a Western man to participate in the program. The gentlemen who join our program get the benefit of meeting normal Thai ladies looking for a real relationship â€“ ladies they would otherwise not have the opportunity to meet. You can use this knowledge to find what YOU seek in our Members section. To make the most of your newfound knowledge come and join us on the inside where you can meet a many prescreened Thai women who are waiting for a man like you to cherish and respect them, and to find true, long-lasting love and live happily ever after. Join us on our next Live Dating Tour Event. These women are highly intelligent. They
know what they want and they are fun to be around. We should know because we interviewed and screened each one of them in person. Meet them now in person. Click here to register for a Live Dating Tour Event.
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What’s in Store Next Week? Next week we put the spotlight onto another amazing Thai woman. Meet Nuch. Our featured article next week we’ll show you how to spot the signs your Thai woman is serious about you in “Cutting Through The Confusion: Does She Want You As Her Lover, Or Are You Just Her Friend?”
Meet Me Now Bangkok Co, Ltd 33/7 Soi Pipat 2 Convent Road,Silom Bangkok Thailand 10500 Phone +66 2 667 0068 Fax +66 2 667 0069 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
We’ll look at the important Thai marriage laws in “Thai Marriage Laws Explained.” You’ll need to know these if you’re going to tie the knot. And we’ll look at some of the best honeymoon spots in the country in “The Top Honeymoon Spots In Thailand.” Whilst you wait for newsletter #14 to arrive, why not take a look back over previous issues and brush up on everything you’ve discovered so far. Remember, knowledge is power!
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As always we will feature a new set of handy Thai phrases to help you make new acquaintances and communicate better with our Thai women.
Meet Her Online: www.thailadydatefinder.com
Don’t put your happiness on hold a moment longer. We look forward to helping you find love.
Meet Her In Person: www.thailadydatingevents.com
Published on May 16, 2012
full of tips and advice for meeting eligible and beautiful thai women in thailand. also insides on travel and lifestyle within thailand.