6 Ways to Overcome Jealousy
By Daniel Harper
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Jealousy is described as an emotion that results to negative thoughts and feelings over something or someone of value that you have lost. This emotion is a mix of other emotions such as discontent, fear, anxiety, resentment, self-pity, and anger. If you’re currently in or been in a relationship, jealousy is no stranger. Some say that a little jealousy in a relationship is healthy but too much of it will surely break it. So if you’re one of those who are constantly plagued with jealousy, here are six ways on how you can overcome it.
Admit it. If you’re feeling jealous towards someone or something, the first thing that you can do is admit it. Denying that you’re having these negative feelings will only make things worse. “What you resist persists.” Right? Admitting to yourself that you are jealous will open your mind and heart. Thus, making you emotionally stronger and making it easier for you to deal with it.
Stop comparing. This is where it turns from bad to really ugly. Comparison is like the fuel to the fire of jealousy. When you compare yourself to others you will only see the differences and what is negative about you. This will also lead to self-loathing and anger. So rather than comparing, start by appreciating these differences and identifying what makes you unique. Always consider yourself blessed rather than lacking.
Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself then jealousy is certain. A person who doesn’t love themselves is like an empty vase that gets filled with rocks, stones, and trash which will eventually break it. Those rocks and stones are negative emotions and one of them is jealousy. If you know how to love yourself then you’re not leaving any room for negative emotions to grow. You might feel a little jealousy once in a while but it will never linger and ruin you.
Ask yourself. Whenever you feel jealous always ask yourself constructive questions like, “Why am I feeling jealous?”, “Is this person really a threat to me and our relationship?”, “What good will come out from being jealous?”, “What lesson should I learn here?”, “What can I do to make things better?” Dig deep into yourself through these questions so you can find clarity from uncertainty.
Shift your focus. Our emotions dictate our thoughts. If you’re feeling a negative emotion such as jealousy, your thoughts focus on it. When this happens you lose sight of the bigger picture. It becomes increasingly difficult for you to understand yourself or the situation. If you start feeling jealous, try shifting your focus by changing your emotion. Watch a good movie, listen to a happy song, go out for a walk, buy yourself something nice, or better yet workout. These activities make you feel good thus driving you away from negative emotions and negative thoughts, leaving you with a clearer mind.
Face it. Sometimes you have to confront it in order to deal with it. Talk to the person who is the subject of your jealousy. Be open, honest and respectful about it but don’t be hostile. This person might even help you deal with or help you realize that there’s nothing to be jealous about. No matter how things may end between you and that person, you will soon realize that jealousy should never play a role in it. On the other hand, if you think that you don’t need to talk to that person then you just have to admit that your jealousy is not worth having anyway.
Jealousy, like any other negative emotion, can be managed. You just need to have an open mind, a loving heart, and a peaceful spirit.
“A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” ~Robert A. Heinlein
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