Three Monkeys

The librarian checked the date stamped on the front of the book, "Indeed it has been three weeks exactly, Mr. Swimmer."

Steve shifted his weight and twitched nervously. At length the librarian replaced the book on his desk and smiled a more conciliatory smile.

"No matter, Mr. Swimmer. I trust you have the necessary funds to settle the late returns fee?"

"Yes, I do," said Steve, handing over a ÂŁ10 note.

The librarian raised an eyebrow and stared unflinchingly into Steve's eyes. "Mr. Swimmer, you do appreciate that I cannot provide change? This is not a bank. You are aware of this, are you not?"

"Yes, yes..." Steve replied nervously, "you can keep the change."

"Oh I fully intend to do so," the librarian mused, "please rest assured however, that your generous gesture will be used for the benefit of increasing library stock and ensuring that those persons who do not return books at the required time are hunted down for their heinous crimes, Mr. Swimmer."

"Please, call me Steve."

"I prefer Mr. Swimmer. I thoroughly disapprove of informality."

Steve turned on his heel, eager to conclude this disturbing conversation and leave the building.

"Oh, Mr. Swimmer?" called the librarian, "might I have a word?"

Steve cringed inwardly and returned to the interrogation desk.

"I see you have taken but little notice of our conversation of several weeks ago? Once again, you have chosen to damage my stock by turning over the 42