THEDAKOTASTUDENT Tuesday April 3, 2012
Volume 129 | Issue 43
Reaching the students, faculty and staff of the University of North Dakota since 1888 | www.dakotastudent.com
Whitman: Picking horror movies Page 5
Iron Chef Competition Page 7
Stoks breaks school 400 meter record Page 11
New Student Government takes office CHANGE Senators, executives begin their terms with several appointments. Robb Jeffries
After hearing words of wisdom from the outgoing senators, the new Student Senate, along with Student Body President Logan Fletcher and Vice President Eric Watne, took office Sunday night. Many of the more experienced senators encouraged the new batch of representatives to be as involved as possible within Student Government. “Try to get to as many subcommittee meetings as you can,” Watne — an outgoing senator — said. He cited the importance of learning about how the various committees function as being very important. “Go to all the other student organizations that you can,” said outgoing Student Body President Kylie Oversen. “Unless you get out there and engage with students you are not doing your
job to the best of your abilities.” Oversen also impressed the importance of professionalism. “Maintain professionalism at all times,” Oversen said. “You represent your constituents and your school at all times.” Senator John Kappel also cautioned new senators about maintaining a professional online presence. “Watch what you post on Facebook,” Kappel said. “You might post one thing and someone may take it in a completely different way and run with it.” Senator Jacob Geiermann stressed the importance of building a rapport with their fellow senators. “Get to know your other senators outside of Senate meetings,” he said. Other senators agreed with Geiermann. “We used to do this more, but some of us would go out to eat after almost every meeting,” Kappel said. “Some of those senators I didn’t know. Doing that is something I’m really going to miss.” “At the end of the day, it is
Outgoing Student Body President Kylie Oversen imparts advice to the new Student Senate Sunday night as outgoing Vice President Nate Elness and State Government Affairs Commissioner Shane Gerbert look on. Photo by Nathan Twerberg.
best to be friends with your fellow senators,” Senator Remington Zacher added. “After a six hour meeting, you don’t want to hate the people you have to work with.” After taking office, the new Senate appointed new committee chairs. Senator Jacob Gapp
For the Children’s Center [WILLIAM GUSTAFSON] THEDAKOTASTUDENT
CHARITY Auction proceeds will go towards purchasing new playground equipment.
STEP DOWN Provost and VP for Academic Affairs to leave UND in the summer 2013. THEDAKOTASTUDENT
Various donated items, from beer tastings to baby clothes, were silently auctioned off at the University Children’s Center last Saturday, March 31. This year’s theme for the 5th annual benefit and silent auction was “Growing up Green with UCC.” Tickets were $10 for UCC parents or $15 for everyone else and all of the proceeds went to the purchase of new environmentally-friendly playground equipment for UCC. “The theme is going green, and we’re bringing it to the outdoors. We’ll be adding a shelter, playground, trees, stones, and an addition to the shed,” said Early HeadStart teacher Jenny Rost. The event began with a performance from the Northern Valley Youth Orchestra, which
Fletcher also outlined a few goals he and Watne have for their upcoming term. Reinstating the Government Affairs Committee and finding quality candidates for the State and Local Govern-
LeBel to resign
Auction goers peruse available items to bid on at the University Children’s Center silent auction. The items ranged from gift cards to dinner with UND President and First Lady Robert and Marcia Kelley.
will be the chair of the Appropriations Committee, along with being the Senate Parliamentarian. Senator Jacob Osterman will be the Judicial Committee chairman, and Senator Aaron Hommerding will be the Senate Pro Tempe and the State and Local chair.
After nearly a decade with the university, Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs Paul LeBel has announced his plans to leave UND. Photo submitted Joining the university in 2004 as dean of the UND Law School, LeBel began serving as provost and VPAA in 2009 at the request of UND President Robert Kelley. “I am, and will remain, grateful to you for giving me the opportunity to serve the university in this role,” he wrote to Kelley in a March 26 letter. “I’ve learned a great deal, and hope that my service as Provost has had a positive impact on the school.” LeBel will continue to serve in his position until a successor is named. Kelley says LeBel will play an important role in the university’s budgeting process and legislative session according to a university news release. “He also will continue to provide oversight and guidance as we continue to move forward on the Exceptional UND initiatives with a fully engaged UND community,” Kelley said in the release. “I know that the university community will work with Paul to the fullest to advance the mission of the university.” With the notification filed 15 months before its effective date in summer 2013, the university will begin creating plans for a transition soon. A national search will be conducted to fill the position.
Crime notes — page 2
New art exhibit at NDMoA — page 8
Student Managed Investment Fund — page 3
Classifieds — page 9
Hamlin: Idiotic idioms — page 4
Bison sweep UND baseball — page 10
Wildeman: American social politics — page 5
Swarm takes St. Paul by storm — page 12
Tuesday April 3, 2012
DATEBOOK CRIME NOTES TODAY, APRIL 3, 2012
[SALE] Adelphi Literary Society book sale, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. all week, first floor of Merrifield Hall. New books will be available each day and patrons may donate books at the same location..
[POSSESION] 6 instances, marijuana and drug paraphernalia
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4, 2012
[MIC] 3 instances
[MEETING] Grand Forks mayoral candidate forum, 7:30 p.m., UND School of Medicine Reed Keller Auditorium. Join candidates Mike Brown and Tyrone Grandstrand for an open question and answer session.
[DUI] 2 instances
THURSDAY, APRIL 5, 2012 [REMINDER] Have a class that you’re not doing so well in? Today is the last day to drop a class to earn a “W”. [MEETING] University Senate, Gamble Hall room 7, at 4:05 p.m.
Tell us what is happening on campus
[THEFT] 1 instance, bicycle
[CRIMINAL MISCHIEF] 1 instance, broken window
Submit information via email to firstname.lastname@example.org or call 777-2677
Do you know what’s happening on campus? Are you creative? Do you enjoy drawing? The Dakota Student is looking for a cartoonist! Fill out an application in the Dakota Student office, McCannel Hall 170, today. DAKOTASTUDENT.COM
SENATE  FROM PAGE
ment Affairs Commissioner positions were among topics highlighted by the president. Student Government Advisor Tony Trimarco also spoke to the new Senate. “The most important thing
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to keep in mind is finances,” Trimarco, who has advised the Student Government for 11 years, said. “You have to know where your money is coming from and what to spend it on. Senate controls around $500,000. That is a huge responsibility.” Trimarco also discussed the resources available to the sena-
All staff members can be contacted at their email addresses, at 701-777-2677 or in McCannel Hall 170. Mail can be sent to P.O. Box 8177, Grand Forks, ND 58202-8177 > The Dakota Student is published every Tuesday and Friday during the academic year except during holidays, vacation breaks and exam periods. Subscriptions are $25 per year. > The Dakota Student is printed at Morgan Printing in Grafton, N.D. on FFC Certified paper using soy-based inks. > The Dakota Student welcomes feedback regarding articles and photographs, and prints corrections for articles containing factual errors.
tors. “We have a whole team of advisors that you can work with,” he said. “We all work together to help everybody out. Andrew Frelich is a great asset for Student Government, too.” There are still three senate positions open. Potential senators are able to apply to repre-
sent the Medical School, the College of Nursing and the College of Education and Human Development at the Student Government office in the Memorial Union. Robb Jeffries is the Editor-in-Chief of The Dakota Student. He can be reached at robert.jeffries@ my.und.edu
First VP candidate to visit UND campus STAFF REPORT
In what are being called Open Forum Conversations, the first of three finalists for Vice President of University and Public Affairs will visit campus April 4 through 5. On Wednesday, April 4, at 3:15 p.m. in the Memorial Union Lecture Bowl candidate Susan Walton will participate in the first of three Open Forum Conversations. After the Open Forum Conversation with Walton, a reception will follow at 4 p.m. in the Fireside Lounge. Walton earned her Bachelor’s of Independent Studies (Liberal Arts concentration) from Brigham Young University in 1979 and went on to con-
tinue her education at the Provo, Utah university, earning an M.A. in English in 1986. Wa l ton curr e n t l y Photo submitted serves as a faculty member of Brigham Young’s Department of Communications and since 2009 has served as the Department’s Chair of for Student Media. In that capacity she has been responsible for providing administrative oversight of student-run communication labs and programs.
r o f t s e $250,000 v n i s t n $100,000 success e d u $10,000 St $500,000
$0 EXPERIENCE Students learn about finance with university investment fund. KAITLIN BEZDICEK THEDAKOTASTUDENT
The term “experiential learning” may be associated with the medical and science fields, but business students have enhanced their education in experiential learning by managing over $1 million through the Student Managed Investment Fund (SMIF). “The purpose of the fund is to provide students with an opportunity to manage and administer an investment portfolio,” Ryan Coye, Senior Officer and Vice President of Operations, said. The SMIF is a project that began in 2005 when alumni donations amounting $100,000 were directed to offering students a format to use their knowledge from the classroom to conduct real world investing instead of simply performing simulations. Over the years, the SMIF has exceeded $1 million with its student managers conducting research, managing risks and deciding which stocks should be held or sold. Students view some of their success by comparing their returns to the market returns of the S&P 500 Index. They have successfully outperformed the market three out of the last five years. On average, only 20 percent of professionals find that sort of success.
In addition, students heard Part of the SMIF’s success from high profile speakers from can be attributed to a well-adfirms like Goldman Sachs and vised program by the Chair of Morgan Stanley. the Finance Department, Steven The UND fixed income A. Dennis. portfolio took first place for the “The fund is headed by one second year in a row. of the smartest people I have Students have also attendever met,” Coye said. “He takes ed the R.I.S.E. competition in an active role to ensure that you Ohio to compete with students are learning.” Involved students aren’t sim- from nearly 300 universities. ply handed a textbook and told According to Coye, the UND to pass a test, but students en- SMIF typically comes home decgage in critical thinking and dis- orated with awards. Involvement with the fund cussion to make the best investhas benefited students’ resumes. ment decisions. Having experience with realWhile students have faculty world marto advise kets and their deciLooking back, my r u n n i ng sions, stus u c c e s s f ul dents themcollege education has investments selves are been worth every pen- can make entrusted with the finy because of the fund. UND students very nal decisionmaking and Ryan Coye m a r k e t a b l e to employmanagement senior officer ers. of the SMIF. “Really “Lookgood things ing back, happen when you apply yourself my college education has been worth every penny because of and take interest in educational the fund,” Coye said. “This is a opportunities,” Coye said. “I real world thing. We are manag- would encourage students who ing over a million dollars and we have a vested interest in the fund are successful and even outdoing to get involved.” To get involved with the professionals.” fund, students go through an Not only are students manapplication process. aging real money, but their deciIf accepted, students enroll sions and success fund the Kirk in Finance 370, Student InvestLanterman Investment Center. ment Fund I, to learn the basics Other gains are reinvested in of the SMIF and assess the decithe market and some money is sions made by managers. set aside to pay for various trips Many students decide to that students attend to compete continue with the SMIF and adwith other portfolios. vance to Finance 470, the StuThis past weekend, a group dent Manage Investment Fund of students traveled to New York class, to become the key decision to participate in the Global Asset makers. Management Education portInterested students can find folio competition where they applications on the UND webgauged their returns with other site. The application deadline is student portfolios. April 20.
Kaitlin Bezdicek is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at kaitlin.bezdicek@ my.und.edu
Did you know these famous people are vegans? William Shatner, Joaquin Phoenix, Moby, Julia Stiles, Bryan Adams and Alicia Silverstone.
Tuesday April 3, 2012
COMMENTARY DSVIEW Changes
TURNOVER Student Government hands over the reigns to newly elected members.
The idiocy of idioms jon hamlin
I’m going to put this plainly so as to avoid confusion. I hate idioms. Okay, now that the majority of my rage has been exercised I can put a little perspective on what I just said. I don’t really hate idioms. I simply find them to be maddeningly illogical and lacking any semblance of rationale whatsoever. Sure, there are a good number of idioms that actually make sense; however, there are also a good number of them that don’t make any sense at all. Linguistically, idioms are quite fascinating and there is even debate among linguistic scholars as to how to classify idioms. I could write an entire column on the typology and categorization of idioms if I wanted to; but, lucky for you, dear reader, I have limited space. Idioms are those fantastically annoying phrases we say constantly. I’ve drawn up a list of a few of them I’d like to… critique. I’m going to structure this column like a cracked. com article, because, really, that’s just the most appropriate way to do it. So, without further ado I present to you 6 of the Most Illogical Idioms Used Today. 6. “The cat’s pajamas…” What it’s supposed to mean: Something or someone is great, awesome or just all around pajamaee. The logic bomb: I would like to meet the person who decided that something or someone who is great or awesome is akin to the cat’s pajamas and punch him in the face. I can handle the idiom itself, but what really bothers me about this idiom is that it suggests that a cat’s pajamas (as if a cat would ever own a pajamas) are awesome or great. I’m even willing to concede the point that there are probably cats that do own pajamas and that there are YouTube videos to confirm this. But even then, a cat’s pajamas would not be
awesome or great. They’d be hairy, drug… accept that my part of the smelly and in all likelihood have analogy is actually true. I’ve actually tons of holes in them from constant heard people say, “I may be dumb, rage-clawing. but I’m not stupid.” I’ve actually 5. “For the love of Pete…” heard that. Most of the time I start What it’s supposed to mean: coughing up blood, but lately I’ve Used to express exasperation or ir- been able to just sigh and walk away. ritation. 2. “…stand the test of time…” The logic bomb: Who the hell is What it’s supposed to mean: Pete and what did he do to idiomat- Something will last forever or for a ically symbolize irritation? I’m sorry, very long time. but I’m just not willing to accept The logic bomb: Time, as far as this one without some background we know, is immeasurable. Time is information. also relative. Because time goes on 4. “Cute as a button…” forever there is nothing that can surWhat it’s supposed to mean: vive it. Everything, eventually, will Someone is cute. succumb to the mega-destructive The logic bomb: I don’t know forces of time. Even to say building about you, but I would be offended A or bridge B will last a long time is if someone compared my cuteness to illogical. All I can help but to think the cuteness that a button displays, is, “A long time? Relative to what?” mostly because buttons are ugly. Are we talking dinosaur longtime, Really, why would anyone actually or I’ve-been-waiting-on-you-fortry to give three-hours characterisWho the hell is Pete long time? This tics to a butone needs to be and what did he do omitted from ton—aside from size to idiomatically sym- phrasal memoand color— ries. bolize irritation? and then try 1. “If I had a to compare nickel for every s o m e o n e ’s Jon Hamlin time I…” level of cuteWhat it’s managing/opinion editor ness to that supposed to of said butmean: Used to ton? I just don’t understand. Why indicate how frequently something not just tell someone that they’re occurs. cute? The “as a button” part seems The logic bomb: When logic totally unnecessary. is applied to this idiom it becomes 3. “I may be… but I’m not…” perhaps the most maddening of What it’s supposed to mean: all idioms. Oh, what… if you had Meant to express that one may do a nickel for every time thing A or or say something a lot, but in a thing B happened you’d have… particular instance they know what what, $2.35? That’s what I thought. they talking about. The only way this idiom could ever The logic bomb: “I may eat make someone a significant amount a lot, but I’m not fat.” “I may be of money is if they said, “If I had a daft, but I’m not stupid.” Look, it’s nickel for every time I heard somesimple: eating a lot is a gateway to one say ‘If I had a nickel for every becoming fat. Being daft is ever so time…’.” slightly below being stupid and in Jon Hamlin is the Managing/ many ways is a gateway characterisOpinion Editor for The Dakota tic to becoming outright stupid, just Student. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org like they say marijuana is a gateway
With the return of weather befitting of short sleeves, we are reminded that spring is the season of change. Trees begin their slow rebeautification, various insects begin to roam the earth and new student leaders take their recently elected or appointed positions. Logan Fletcher and Eric Watne have begun their terms as Student Body President and Vice President. It will be interesting to see if the duo can follow their vision of reinvestment, involvement, support and experience they campaigned with. Several new Student Senators also started their careers in Student Government this weekend. We at the Dakota Student wish them the best of luck, and hope that they continue to perform the difficult task of balancing the wants and needs of thousands of students with the half-million dollar budget they receive each year. Along with the change in personnel with the Student Senate, the Dakota Student Editorial Board would also like to see a change in attitude from the student body. Some of the senators were elected through writein campaigns that netted the winner votes numbering in the single digits. Many senators, both current and past, have to act solely on their judgement, as they get no feedback from those they were elected to serve. Just as outgoing Student Body President challenged the new Senate to connect with their constituency, we would like to challenge you to connect with your student senators. It is unreasonable to expect Senate to spend your student fees how you want them to if you don’t tell them what you would like to see your fees spent on. Reach out to your senator and let them know how you feel about the issues affecting our campus. Don’t know who your senators are? Stop by the Student Government office and find out. Better yet, while you are in the Student Government office, ask about the opportunities available for you to get involved. Three academic senator positions are vacant. Several executive positions are also ripe for the taking. There’s even lower level positions for those with no experience in Student Government open to students that want to learn more about how our university functions. Of course, it is your decision whether or not to take advantage of this opportunity. Because if you regret not joining up, we’ll be the first to tell you “we told you so.”
Editorial Board Robb Jeffries Editor-in-Chief Jon Hamlin Opinion Editor Brandi Jewett
Editorial Policy The Dakota Student is dedicated to the free exchange of ideas. Opinion columns and letters to the editor will not be edited for content reasons, except in cases of criminal or civil liability. The Dakota Student reserves the right to edit or reject columns or letters for various reasons. The ideas expressed in columns and letters reflect the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the staff of the Dakota Student.
Letter Policy The Dakota Student encourages readers to express their opinions on the editorial pages. Letters to the editor are published based on merit, general interest, timeliness and content. All letters must be limited to 250 words. > Letters may be mailed to 2891 2nd Ave N. Stop 8177, Grand Forks, N.D. 58202-8177 or dropped off at 170 McCannel Hall. > Letters must be typed and must include the author’s name, major or profession and telephone number. > All letters will be edited to fit the allocated space. Writer may be limited to one letter per month.
Oh, the horror: hard to find the right horror film madi whitman
I pick the worst horror movies. Ever. I’m part of a book club where we watch films from time to time, and I consistently choose bad movies. They have banned me from suggesting films. The problem stems from me trying to find the perfect horror movie, which is probably impossible. The films I enjoy are usually from the ‘70s and have ridiculous plots with computer-human hybrid children and lecherous dwarves who work at strip clubs. And so while they are funny in a way that only the ‘70s can provide, they are not scary whatsoever. Netflix offers the Masters of Horror collections, which are fun and well designed, as they feature ice cream truck drivers out for vengeance and a cannibalistic George Washington, but again: not scary. I watched “The Shining” for the first time last Halloween and wasn’t impressed. It was boring. The book was better. I watched “Psycho”, too, and while it was
decent, it didn’t fill my being but they aren’t scary. They’re with fear. more interesting in how they I haven’t seen any of the reflect cultural fears and values. “Saw” movies, just because I’m Or they’re awful and poorly connot really into gore for the sake structed. “Twilight”, anyone? of gore. Given my pickiness when I tend to steer clear of zom- approaching horror films, one bie movies, as they don’t really would think that I might be at interest me, so that cuts out a sig- least adequate in choosing horror nificant portion of horror movies, films, or at least in determining especially given the recent trend which might be acceptable. I like to think that my stantoward zombie media, what with “The Walking Dead” and all. dards are high. I am rarely ever scared by Zombies movies. just don’t I watched the Shin- theory, InI do much for ing for the first time should be me. at pickNeither last Halloween and good ing films. I do creature wasn’t impressed. features, for am always on the lookthat matter. Aside from Madi Whitman out for a cr yptozoolcolumnist good horror movie, but ogy, which they seem to is way more interesting in terms of folklore, be few and far between. I would like with the Jersey Devil and all, think that by now I would have I don’t care about werewolves or found my genre within horror, monsters. Too unrealistic. Kind but alas. of boring. Last year, the book club made I don’t consider vampire films the mistake of voting for a movie as being included in the horror I suggested. I didn’t know much category. That’s what they are, about this particular film, just
that it was European, had subtitles, was categorized as religious horror, and received positive reviews. I didn’t read anything about the plot because I wanted to go into it as a mostly blank state. Bad idea. The film, which I’m not going to name because I would never recommend it to anyone, was the most horrifying film I had ever seen. At least disgusting movies like “The Human Centipede” have a certain sensationalism about them that counters the content a bit. This did not. It was like a straight hour of human cruelty and non-stop torture. I watched most of it through my hands. We had to shut it off. The club members still give me a hard time about it, because we are all forever scarred. The second film was Spanish and made no sense whatsoever. For that reason alone, I am no longer allowed to pick. I have a bad habit of assuming that foreign language films are going to be good no matter what, but this is not true for horror, as I have learned. It’s interesting that we have so
many types of horror movies, and even more interesting to consider which subtypes are successful. I have heard that interest in vampires, werewolves and zombies alternates with the country’s economic status. I’m not sure why we’re drawn to films like “Paranormal Activity.” Maybe we just like the jumpy bits. I don’t know why we like Saw or “The Human Centipede”, either. Maybe it’s the fascination with car accidents mentality. We can’t look away. We don’t want to look away. My horror movie reign of terror is over, but I’ll keep looking. Maybe I’ll learn to look away and spare myself some trauma, or maybe I won’t. I think that’s the fun of horror and perhaps a reason why we’re drawn to it. We can, across the board, decide that certain movies are awful. Horror seems different. It feels more subjective. What I think is trash, you might think is gold, and vice versa. Who knows. Just don’t let me pick. Madi Whitman is a columnist for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at madisson.whitman@ my.und.edu
The ‘golden rule’need apply: Finding my own social politics in America yoga pants fects of our actions on the young people of our country, but the actions (or inactions) of some poThis coming presidential litical figureheads in the country election will have a lot of hot have shocked me, and make me button issues at the forefront, in- question just how well that lesson cluding the state of the economy, was learned. Words hurt people all the the Affordable Care Act and national security. Social issues will time. Bullying isn’t just physical, also play a big role, with abortion it’s verbal. When people carelessrights and gay marriage appear- ly say such things as “I’m not homophobic, but I think being gay ing to be the topics of the day. When the presidential elec- is just gross,” and expect nothing tion comes around every four but the agreement or approval years, a lot of debate begins to of peers, I just want to bang my appear in different mediums, and head up against a wall. When politicians allow the these opinions make it out to the community of America at large booing of a gay soldier stationed in Iraq at in some form or another. Words hurt people aeven debate, when This comall the time. Bullying a crowd of ing election, typiI would like isn’t just physical, it’s people cally found to advise as verbal. to be very strongly as I supportive can to people to take their Caitlin Wildeman and grateful opinions secolumnist to the military are the riously, and ones booing consider the effects and implications your at the very same person they call words have on others, especially support for, I just want to give up those people you’re talking about. on the country. Have we learned When Don’t Ask Don’t Tell nothing? That an unborn fetus’ rights was being debated in 2010, a sudden burst of anti-gay senti- are the most important thing in ment began to disperse through- the world to you, which is fine. out the country. That same year, That fetus grows into a young only months before the policy’s man, joins the military, serves repeal, a number of gay youth his country, but suddenly there’s committed suicide within a few outrage when he wants the same weeks of one another, causing the rights for himself as everyone else media to give national attention gets. Suddenly he doesn’t matter, isn’t as important as the rest. to the issue. I would like to hope that What kind of messages are being we’ve learned from this lesson, sent to gay youth in America? to more fully understand the ef- What kind of fear and hopeless-
caitlin wildeman THEDAKOTASTUDENT
ness are we endorsing? I’m not saying that if you’re not for gay marriage you’re evil, that’s not my point at all. We just need to be mindful of what our communication is saying. Can’t we all see the seething hate behind these actions? We don’t have a problem with the inappropriate allocation of discrimination placed on the very being of the man who asks a question about his rights? Of course, these words apply to more than just homosexuals, but people who live in all sorts of spheres of diversity. Racism, sexism, heterosexism, ableism and all other forms of discrimination have no place in a country which takes such pride in its “freedom.” We act as if the people on the other side of our opinions are the enemy, like we’re not all part of one nation, working together towards common goals and livelihood. If we keep this up, this “us and them” mentality, we will not be a nation in unity, but a nation in chaos. So, just think about what you’re saying. Disagreeing is fine, debate is great, but it doesn’t need to be tinged with such hatred and disgust. Even when disagreeing, there are such things civility and respect. These are real people you’re talking about, these people could be your daughter or son, brother or sister or even a best friend. What kind of messages do you want them to hear? Caitlin Wildeman is a columnist for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at caitlin.wildeman@ my.und.edu
Brandi Jewett is lucky. My colleague wrote a column in the March 27 issue of the Dakota Student entitled “The yinyang of yoga pants.” Jewett, after a long fought battle against the fashion trend—and some prodding from friends—caved in and bought a pair of yoga pants. The way she describes their affect on her turns me green with envy. Jewett’s first day out in her new pants was “liberating” and “made [her] feel like a million bucks.” Her column was an allout endorsement of the thin-materialed lower body coverings. I’m not jealous of yoga pants. I will never be caught dead wearing them (although, had Jewett said that before her revelation...). I am, however, jealous that I have yet to find the male equivalent of these mystical pants. The benefits of yoga pants are plentiful. They are inexpensive. They are comfortable. They transform the mediocre rear into the eighth wonder of the world. With their magical transformative properties, they empower the wearer. And, as Jewett pointed out, they give guys whiplash with the way they make heads turn. No matter what your orientation, you have to admit to a good thing when you see it. Heck, I know women that have been so distracted staring at a yoga pants-encased butt that they have walked into traffic. The gift that yoga pants gives the world truly is a universal gift.
I just want to find my way to give back to the world, by way of wearing the perfect clothing. I’ve worn a great variety of clothing (even women’s clothing, it was a phase, don’t ask) in this quest. I’ve tried everything, from loose, flowing garments to skintight restrictions that hardly cover or mask my man parts. None of it is like Cinderella’s glass slipper for me, or Jewett’s yoga pants. As a nerd, I have turned to science to explain why I can’t find my version of yoga pants. They are cheap, so I shopped at the thrift store. All I ended up with was 30 misfitting leisure suits and argyle socks. It didn’t work. They are comfortable, so I tried sweatpants and fur-lined pants and shirts. No luck. They are form fitting, so I tried different types of spandex and similar materials. No results. In my despair, I have resulted to desperate measures: making my own clothes. After ending up with several misshapen ponchos and completely dysfunctional shorts, I decided to leave it up to the professionals. An open challenge to clothing makers across the planet: make me something that makes me feel like that. Like yoga pants, you will be making the world a better place.
Robb Jeffries is Editor-in-Chief for The Dakota Student. He can be reached at robert.jeffries@ my.und.edu
6 |NEWS BID  FROM PAGE
is made up of various elementary school students from Grand Forks and its surrounding areas. They performed five songs including “Celtic Dance,” “At the Foot of the Yonder Mountain” and “All the Pretty Little Horses.” This was followed by vocal performances from Grand Forks Central high school students Ryan King and Mike McGurran. King’s song selection included “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen, “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley and “We are Young” by fun. McGurran covered the songs “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails, “All These Things That I’ve Done” by The Killers and “Brick” by Ben Folds Five. Door prizes given away throughout the night included: plastic food storage containers, free passes to Grand Forks’ annu-
Tuesday April 3, 2012 al “Art and Wine Walk” and gift cards to Archives Coffee Shop, Scheels and Little Bangkok. Bidding for donated items continued until about ten minutes before the end of the event. Ranging in value from $39 to $375, a total of 68 items were auctioned off. “It was fun looking at all of the items that were donated,” said UCC parent Nikki BergBurin. UCC is a child care and education center located at 525 Stanford Road in Grand Forks, next to the UND Housing Office. They accept all children ages 2 to 12. Residents of University Apartments receive a discounted rate. Rates vary based on the child’s age, length of time spent there and whether or not the parent is a UND student. UCC’s hours are 7 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and children do not need to be toilet-trained. A typical day there includes indoor, outdoor
[WILLIAM GUSTAFSON] THEDAKOTASTUDENT
Violinists from the Northern Valley Youth Orchestra preform at the beneﬁt and silent auction Friday evening.
and group play and parents are always welcome to join in. For more information, call 701-7773947 or visit childrenscenter. und.edu. Jaye Millspaugh is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at jaye.millspaugh.2@ my.und.edu
The Dakota Student is hiring editors and writers for the end of the semester and the 2012-2013 school year. Come by our office and apply today! DAKOTASTUDENT.COM
Tuesday April 3, 2012
CULTURE&MEDIA NDMoA opens new exhibit Page 8
Classifieds Page 9
Allez cuisine: Student ‘Iron Chef’ competition gets underway Story by Hannah Rosenthal Lots of heat, great smells, white coats and chef hats filled the Memorial Union Loading Dock during the first student Iron Chef Competition, held this past Friday and Saturday during Night Life. Eight teams assembled to compete for a shot at a spot in the final four competition that will be held on April 14. “This is not just a fun experience, but also a learning experience,” master of ceremonies and Memorial Union Director Tony Trimarco said. “There is really an incredible story behind Dining Services that the majority of campus doesn’t know.” The teams included Team Burrows, Team Elzar, Team Kake, Team Krunch Bunch, Team Marketplace Musketeers, Team S Club 7, Team Tiffany and Team Cereal Killers. Both Friday and Saturday, four of the eight teams competed to be one of the two teams from that round to move on. The night started with the teams preparing all of their kitchen areas and making sure that they had all of the correct supplies. Tensions began to build as leaders in the groups emerged, assigning duties that needed to get done to ensure the teams’ success. All of the teams were given the same ingredients of chicken and Zatarain’s Rice, which had to incorporate these ingredients into their dishes. From there, the teams were required to come up with their own entrees that would include these specific ingredients. Each team prepared a different dish with the mentoring of a chef from Dining Services. The competition was judged by members of the campus and Grand Forks communities. Friday’s judges were Kay Hager, UND Food and Facilities Committee representative; Chuck Schrider, sales representative for Hockenberg Newburgh; and Judy Sargent, UND director of Residence Services. Saturday’s judges were Hager, Jeff Tiedeman, food editor for the Grand Forks Herald and Jane Croeker, Health and Wellness promotion specialist. The judges walked around during preparation of the entrees, and judged the teams on preparation and sanitation. “I’m walking around looking to make sure they’re sanitary, like wearing gloves and not having their buckets on the tables,” Hager said. The teams worked hard as they were being judged on their different techniques and sanitation.
The Marketplace Musketeers prepare their entree for Friday’s pannel.
The ﬁnal touches are put on plates before they were whisked away to the judges’ table.
(All photos by KEISUKE YOSHIMURA) THEDAKOTASTUDENT
Judges Chuck Schrider (left), Judy Sargent (middle) and Kay Hager (right) sample the teams’ work. Background image courtesy of CookitAllergyFree.com
8 |CULUTRE&MEDIA FOOD FROM PAGE
“It’s going to be close, but I’ve already seen some teams with some issues,” Julia Grim, a viewer of Saturday’s events, said. Saturday’s events played out to be very similar to Friday’s competition. “Friday’s competition was close,” Trimarco said. “Second and third place were close by only a couple of votes.” “The teams moving on tonight [Saturday] will be facing some really tough competition,” Hager said. When the teams were done preparing their entrees, they needed to plate them and bring them to the judges for tasting and judging. Points were awarded based on creativity, presentation of
Tuesday April 3, 2012 the meal, taste and texture. “When I am eating the meals I look for each part having it’s own personality and individual flavor,” Hager said. Each member of the teams had to answer questions regarding what they had learned from the experience. The students involved in the competition got to experience how much effort and skill that into preparing meals for the campus. “The students have embraced the whole competition,” Trimarco said. The teams moving on to compete in the April 14 final are Team Marketplace Musketeers, Team S Club 7, Team Tiffany and Team Cereal Killers. Hannah Rosenthal is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at hannah.rosenthal@ my.und.edu
The Culture and Media section is seeking writers for the remainder of the semester and next school year. Apply at McCannel Hall, room 170. DAKOTASTUDENT.COM
Exhibit pays homage to Ethiopia
[WILLIAM GUSTAFSON] THEDAKOTASTUDENT
“Eye of the Needle, Eye of the Heart” will be displayed until May 31 at the NDMoA.
An exhibit capturing the native art of Ethiopia has opened at the North Dakota Museum of Art.
The NDMoA is the second venue in the nation to feature the exhibit “Eye of the Needle, Eye of the Heart.” The Santa Monica Museum of Art was the first, hosting the display created by Elias Sim, in
2009. The exhibit, co-curated by anthropologist Mesekrem Assegued and multidisciplinary art
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Lumber Mart, 1910 Business Highway #2, East Grand Forks, MN.
NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS FOR 2012 SUMMER SEASONAL EMPLOYMENT WITH THE GRAND FORKS PARK DISTRICT. APPLICATIONS AND JOB DESCRIPTIONS CAN BE OBTAINED AT WWW.GFPARKS.ORG OR 1210 7TH AVENUE S.
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Lumber Mart Inc is seeking motivated and reliable individuals for full time truck driving positions. Individuals applying for this position must have a valid driver’s license and clean driving record. We offer competitive compensation and benefits. Apply with Mark at
Prairie Harvest Mental Health accepting applications for part-time residential support workers for a 24-hour facility serving adults who have serious mental illness. Gain experience in the field of mental health. Hours available include every other weekend or day hours during the week. Applications at 930 North 3rd Street or call Amy S. at 701-795-9143. Summer employment: Counselors, speech and occupational therapists
Tuesday April 3, 2012 HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENT COST: $5.00 for 40 words or less per issue for students and student organizations. Call for other rates. DEADLINE: Classifieds for Tuesday’s paper are due on Friday at noon. Classifieds for Friday’s paper are due Wednesday at noon. FORMAT: No classified ads will be taken over the phone. They can be dropped off at 170 McCannel Hall, located right behind the Memorial Union. PAYMENT: Payment must be paid in full with cash, check or mailed with payment before a classified will run. Contact the Dakota Student office at 701-7772677 with questions.
and aides, reading instructors, recreation, crafts and waterfront personnel needed for a summer camp in North Dakota. Working with children with special needs. Salary plus room and board. Contact: Dan Mimnaugh, Camp Grassick, Box F, Dawson, ND 58428 701327-4251 or email email@example.com
tor, Cook, Store Manager, Medic, Head Lifeguard, Ropes Course Director, Climbing Tower Director, Rifle Director, and Archery Director. Must be at least 21 years of age. You can earn college credit for most of these positions or possibly a college internship. Contact us for an application. (701) 293-5011
SUMMER CAMP POSITIONS
Room and board plus weekly salary from $220 to $300 per week based on the job!
Camp Wilderness - located in beautiful northern Minnesota! Camp Director, Program Direc-
Season: June 10- August 4 Party City, a retail party store is now hiring at our Grand Forks location! Please stop by to complete an application! Party City 2861 32nd Avenue South Grand Forks, North Dakota 58201
FOR SALE KENMORE 14 CUBIC FOOT UPRIGHT FREEZER. THREE SHELVES PLUS A METAL STOAGE UNIT ON THE BOTTOM FOR $275. FREEZER IS THREE YEARS OLD AND PAID $700. PLEASE CALL 218-230-3251. 2007 Cadillac Escalade ESV V8 6.2 liter engine, AWD, leather, Bose premium sound, navigation system, DVD system, backup camera, front and rear side air bags, running boards, towing package, oversized premium wheels and rims, two way auto starter, extended warranty, 126,700 miles. $24,300 OBO. 218-230-3251.
impresario Peter Sellars, will be on display at the museum until May 31. Together, the collections include more than 100 works of art in various forms: collages, floor and wall sculptures, stitched canvases and installations. These pieces are assembled from yarn, tattered fabric, stuff goat skins, bottle tops and other materials collected from the streets of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia’s capital city. The art spans 20 years of Sime’s career as one of Ethiopia’s most original artists. The NDMoA is open weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and weekends 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. A donation of $5 is suggested for entry. For more information, please call 701777-4195 or visit www.ndmoa.com.
Tuesday April 3, 2012
vs. Utah Valley 4/5-7 @ 7 p.m. Orem, Utah
USD/SDSU Duals 4/6 @ 10 a.m. Vermillion, S.D.
UND Throwers catapult competition Page 11
vs. SDSU 4/9 @ 1 p.m. Apollo Field
MN Swarm: The unknown team Page 12
SPORTS Good Luck to the Baseball team with their upcoming Utah trip!
Bison stampede over Sioux baseball TRAMPLED A new bullpen was unable to prevent NDSU from sweeping UND. Timothy Boger
The Fighting Sioux brought improved pitching and improved defense to Kraft Field for their home opener this weekend against North Dakota State. But while UND kept every game close, timely hitting from the Bison kept the Sioux out of the win column, as NDSU swept UND in a four game set split between Grand Forks and Fargo this past weekend. The sweep drops the Sioux to 2-16 on the season heading into Great West play, which begins Thursday on the road against Utah Valley. Nothing went right in the late innings, but coach Jeff Dodson said he saw encouraging signs from his club against a tough opponent. One big area, he said, was the success of freshman pitchers Andrew Thome, Jeff Campbell and Tyler Reummele, who combined for a 2.69 ERA in 20-1/3 innings pitched. “I think all of our guys see now that if you battle the strike zone and make quality pitches — two strike counts and create soft contact — you’re going to give yourself a chance to win,” Dodson said. “We just got to learn from that and learn what it’s going to take to win close ball games mentally.” Coaches and school officials called an audible last week in moving this four-game series from the Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minn., to the absurdly warm confines of Kraft Field and Newman Outdoor Field in Fargo. The warm temperatures didn’t make for any hot bats to kick off the series. Instead, a pitcher’s duel emerged Friday, with NDSU pushing across the lone run in the sixth inning to capture a 1-0 victory. Andrew Thome went the distance, pitching a complete game
and striking out six. But despite facing just four batters over the minimum, Thome ended up on the losing side after a throwing error by Michael Anastazi allowed NDSU’s Tim Colwell to reach second in the sixth. Tim Colwell scored on an infield hit from his brother, Nick Colwell. Kris Kwak was thrown out in the first trying to stretch a double into a triple, but UND didn’t threaten again until the late innings. Ultimately though, the Sioux couldn’t even it up despite putting runners at first and second with one out in the eighth. The series moved to Fargo for a doubleheader Saturday, but the Bison took both games, 3-1 and 7-3, to clinch the series. UND never led in their Fargo day trip. The teams were tied briefly in the middle innings of game one, but NDSU scored nine of the next 12 runs to complete the doubleheader sweep. Sunday, North Dakota was able to climb back from a two run deficit, pushing across runs in the fifth, sixth and seventh innings to grab a one-run lead heading into the ninth. That was after the Sioux overcame a rocky start by Kevin Auth, who lasted just 2 1/3 innings in his fourth start of the year. A pair of sacrifice flies in the fifth and sixth tied it, and Mark Bearmon drove in Tyler Follis for the 3-2 lead. But two runs in the ninth from the Bison prevented UND from sneaking away with the victory. “Ball games like this are going to happen quite a bit,” Dodson said. “You just got to be very tough when you get on the field from a mental standpoint and just execute and do the little things. “Any time you play a really nice ball game and lose, it’s still a loss. But I think with the group of kids that we have now, I think we’re going to use it as a huge learning tool for us.”
Spectators enjoy an in-state rivalry at Kraft Field.
Outfielder Mark Bearmon takes a swing against the Bison.
A UND baserunner tries to beat a pickoff attempt.
Timothy Boger is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. He can be reached at timothy.boger@ my.und.edu
Outfielder Riley Beck attempts to bunt as teammates look on.
UND holds a 7-5 record against non-conference opponents, (S. Oregon is in the NAIA) since the DI transition.
[photos by NATHAN TWERBERG] THEDAKOTASTUDENT
THEDAKOTASTUDENT Outfielder Sam Alt hits a grounder in an attempt to advance the runners last Sunday against NDSU
Throwers dominate at Hokanson Open
senberry placed first in the shot put with a launch of 52 feet, 10 inches. Sophomore Roman Waldera The North Dakota State Lyle claimed victory for UND in the Hokanson Open for the UND discus as he threw for 151 feet, men’s track and field team consist- 9 inches. Fellow Sioux thrower ed of blazing speeds and powerful Shawn Johnson followed with a runner-up performance with a throws. throw of Earlier 150 feet, 1 this year, seSenior thrower inch. Quenior Chris Stoks broke Brandon Quesen- sf ie nn ibsehr er dy the UND berry placed first in eighth in record in the indoor the shot put with a the Jdiscus. a k e 400-meter launch of 52 feet, 10 B i s s e l event. As an placed fifth unattached inches. in the hams p r i n t e r, staff report mer throw the outthe Dakota Student with a toss door UND of 166 feet, 400-meter record was rewritten with a Stoks’ 7 inches. Johnson was quick to follow with a toss of 162 feet, 5 time of 47.69 seconds. Senior thrower Brandon Que- inches and Waldera with a 150 feet, 1 inch heave. Johnson finished sixth in the event as Waldera placed eighth. As the UND men dominated the throwing field, the women followed the same suit. For the second time in three weeks, senior Christine Weinreich has broken the school record for the hammer throw. With a toss of 165 feet, 10 inches, Weinreich claimed second place in the Lyle Hokanson Open as teammate Megan Storstad placed third with a launch of 162 feet, 9 inches. Weinrich’s previous record was as toss of 164 feet, 9 inches. Sophomore Chantel Urban and Weinreich claimed the first two finishes in the discus events. Urban won the event by throwing the disc a distance of 126 feet, 9 inches as Weinreich came in at 125 feet, 9 inches. The two throwers also finished second and fifth in the shot put. The North Dakota teams will return to competition on Friday, April 6 at the USD/SDSU Duals in Vermillion, S.D.
[NATHAN TWERBERG] THEDAKOTASTUDENT
Tuesday April 3, 2012
The Swarm and it’s hive: Lacrosse when the Swarm are playing, becomes very busy from winter to spring with the crossing of the two sports schedules. In the Swarm’s eight year existence, the team has made playoffs five times. The team has never won Mariah Holland a game in the postseason, but it has THEDAKOTASTUDENT had a high enough ranking to host Minnesota, known as the State two playoff games. The team players itself, the of Hockey to many, has a professional team that not many people team has seven forwards, eight deknow about. This team is the Min- fensemen, seven transition players nesota Swarm the professional la- and two goalies; coupled together with three players listed on the crosse team. practice squad. The roster is also T h e composed of S w a r m haven’t been In the Swarm’s eight a total of 14 the around as year existence, the rookies; most experilong as most of the profesteam has made the enced player on the team sional sports playoffs five times. is transition teams in player Rich Minnesota, Mariah Holland Morgan with but they have staff writer eight years of been graduprofessional ally growing playing. in popularity. This season, the Swarm have It has existed since 2004 and have been making strides in their overall a 5-7 record, which could be due to the fact that the majority of the record year by year. Sharing an arena with the Min- team is inexperienced. However, nesota Wild—a team known state- this record does not show how talwide—may be a little difficult at ented the Swarm truly are. They times for a team trying to make are third in a division of five, with its own identity. The Xcel Energy a combined total of nine teams in Center, also known as “the Hive” the league.
POPULARITY The Minn. Lacrosse team looks to gain local support in its eighth year.
So far they have played 12 of their 16 regular season games. The Swarm have a number of skilled players on their roster this season. One of these players is Callum Crawford, a forward with 58 points on the season. Behind Crawford is Ryan Benesch, also known to most Swarm fans as “Beni,” a forward with 54 points. The team leader and also the league leader for penalty minutes is transition player Andrew Suitor with 60 penalty minutes so far this season. The league leader for points is Colorado Mammoth forward John Grant Jr. with 98 points. Grant also has the most shots on goal and goals in the league this season. The assists lead in the league goes to Dan Dawson of the Philadelphia Wings. He has 68 assists this season for the Wings. Both the Colorado Mammoth and Philadelphia Wings are the leaders of their respective divisions. The Colorado Mammoth are currently leading the Swarm in the West division. With just four games left of the regular season, the Swarm look to improve its record and get a few more wins before the season ends and playoffs start. Along with wins, the team wants to prove it is a contending team and one to watch. Mariah Holland is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at marholl99@hotmail. com