Lincoln’s premier source for satirical and alternative news.
A bi-weekly placemat
August 28, 2012
Volume 6, Issue 1
Mars Rover Starts Pet Rock Collection
A Rocky Beginning STORY BY cHRISTINA mAYER | pHOTO BY mITCH MCcANN
The Mars Curiosity Rover proudly displays its creation
In an exciting development, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has confirmed that Mars rover Curiosity, an unmanned exploratory vehicle on the surface of the red planet, has become mobile for the first time. The rover’s mission, according to head NASA administrator Charles Frank “Charlie” Bolden, Jr., will now shift from taking still photos to collecting, analyzing, and naming mineral deposits for its pet rock collection. “The whole point of this mission is to find out whether life on Mars is or ever was possible,” Bolden told reporters on Saturday. “We hope that Curiosity’s pet rock collection will prove that mindless, trend-obsessed life could indeed thrive there.” “It’s a thrilling time,” added mission scientist Maurice Dixon. “Curiosity has quite a collection.
We made sure to equip it with a good variety of the craft materials needed to personalize each rock; the googly eyes alone added 14 pounds to its cargo load.” Though the scientific community has generally expressed support for the mission, some question the rover’s true usefulness when considering its cost. Hannah Petelinsek, an economist with the National Research Council, pointed out that NASA ran $500 million over-budget in its development process. “Of course it’s important to understand the solar system, especially the planets closest to Earth,” Petelinsek wrote in her review of the governmentfunded space agency last year. “But the taxpayers should have seen a return on their investment. Until NASA delivers the space-cat robot servants my 5 year-old drew on the wall last night, I’m not
seeds.9 / Reviews Local
Bo Pelini Already Sick of Answering Reporters’ Questions
sure that requirement has been met.” An exhibition for the public, dubbed “Life on Mars: Cosmic Kitsch,” has opened at the National Air and Space Museum. It introduced the world to Clarence, the first rock collected by Curiosity. Mission scientist Ron Lenz described Clarence as “a bit vampy,” but went on to say that “with so much poorly-glued fake blonde yarn-hair, what can you expect?” “I really liked it,” said 9 year-old Aidan Berg, who visited the exhibit with his mother. “It made me want to be a scientist. Or a stripper. Or a rock.” Curiosity is expected to collect hundreds of mineral samples during its nearly two-year mission. Scientists are also searching for a source of Martian water to activate the 37 Chia Pets in Curiosity’s cargo hold.
seeds.11 / Festivals National
Report: Hotcakes Selling Poorly
Penn St. Donates New Coat Rack to Athletic Department
Dailyer 2 The Dailyer Staff Editor-in-Chief Mitch McCann email@example.com Assistant Editor Christina Mayer firstname.lastname@example.org Design Editor Katie Justman email@example.com Entertainment Editor Daniel Stier
Assistant Ent. Editor Gabe Potter firstname.lastname@example.org Managing Editor Dan Shattil email@example.com Publications Board Adam Morfeld firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising email@example.com Writers Greg Bright Catherine Larsen Gabriel Potter Matt Sueper Alex Wunrow Emily Kuklinski Ben Nikolas Design Natalia Kraviec Art Jon Love Adviser Don Walton firstname.lastname@example.org Mission The object of the Dailyer Nebraskan is to provide the students of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln with a humorous alternative to the Daily Nebraskan. The Dailyer Nebraskan is meant to be a satirical and at times radical news zine in a false or comical light, while simultaneously featuring “serious” entertainment reviews, interviews, etc. Got something to say? You think we suck? Tell us. You think we’re awesome? Do go on. Contact the Dailyer Nebraskan at dailyernebraskan@gmail. com. Send your thoughts, input, insults, compliments and love. We need it.
Who we are
August 28, 2012
the editors’ rag Readers, Ahoy! Readers of the DailyER! Unbeknownst to you, you just took your first step towards becoming a productive member of society. “How dare you!” you might be shouting furiously at this inanimate periodical, “I’m a chemical engineering major trying to advance the medical field!” Firstly, soon enough your scientist colleagues will surpass your studies in medicine and your cries will seem foolish as you lounge lifelessly in a cryogenic tube hardwired into The Matrix. Secondly, even chemical engineering majors could use a good chuckle every once in awhile. By your hotheaded response, you could prob-
ably use a hefty guffaw yourself. As the editors of the DailyER Nebraskan and Seeds. Entertainment, satire and entertainment rags respectively, we also want to welcome y’all to our paper. We’ve been around for six years now, but there’s always something new to be discovered even about the oldest of friends. At risk of sounding cliche and possibly a little creepy, we’d love to be one of yours. Every week in the satire section we aim to publish the snarkiest, most flippant news articles we can get our grubby paws on. No one is safe from our verbal spears and bloodhound-like instincts when we’re after breaking news. Of course,
the dailyer nebraskan
These are the rules outlining the ethical and moral responsibilities and proper practices for staff members of UNL’s Alternative News Source. The Dailyer Nebraskan is meant to be a satirical and at times radical news zine, presenting current news in a false or comical light, while simultaneously featuring ‘’serious’’ entertainment reviews, interviews, etc. Due to the nature of social satire — indefinite in regard to standards of approbation — The Dailyer Nebraskan and the Publications Board of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln have deemed it necessary to adopt a code of conduct.
the fact that our sources and topics are “invented” and “not necessarily true” makes things easier, but even then the creative well sometimes runs dry. If you have skills we might find useful (writing, photoshopping, editing, breathing), look us up. We’ll find a place for you to thrive. In Seeds., things are based a bit more in actual fact. Artist interviews, video game reviews, and the odd opinion piece find their way into our humble publication, all in the hope that we can introduce you to something new or put an interesting spin on an old favorite. And we occasionally get free stuff from record stores and the like. Not to brag, or anything. If
in the situations described above. • Nudity shall be limited to the hind side of an individual; however, photos of individuals • No editing or wearing clothing that cleaning up of accentuates other areas of language shall occur when the body are acceptable but conducting a true interview to be used sparingly and in (Entertainment Section). good taste. We believe that editing • The Dailyer Nebraskan one’s language skews the shall not be a biased, reader’s perception of the subjective or partisan interviewee. newspaper. It will strive at • The use of profanity all times to cover all issues in satirical news articles shall and all groups equally. not occur unless its usage • All university officials, bears an intended effect on administrators and faculty the meaning of the article. members are liable to be • No limits shall be cited and/or quoted placed on the strength of incorrectly in satirical language used. All words news articles written by considered profane are on members of The Dailyer an equal playing field, but Nebraskan; however, stories none are to be used unless must be overtly bogus in
5 BROKEN CAMERAS By Emad Burnat, Bu Guy Davidi (Ends Aug 30) A Palestinian farmer uses a video camera to document the struggle between his people and Israeli settlers.
Dai l ye r Nebrask an Seeds. Entertainment
CODE OF CONDUCT
The following is a list of standards characterizing what is and what is not suitable for publication in The Dailyer Nebraskan:
BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD By Benh Zeitlin (Ends Aug 30) A six-year-old girl from the southern Delta searches for her long-lost mother after her father falls ill and her world spins out of balance.
you want some of it (you want some of it), or you want to help us get more of it (you want to... well. You get it), put yourself in our path, too. Again, we take all types. They make parties more interesting. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, our Seeds. editor Daniel Stier is single and ready to mingle. Take that as you will, but remember his email is at the top of this page. He has nice hair. Not that we’re biased.
order to dispel any beliefs that information within the articles is in any way true. • Being a satirical news zine, The Dailyer Nebraskan may, at times, offend target groups and therefore bears the responsibility of being criticized as anti-(insert group here). One goal of The Dailyer Nebraskan is to be known as “fair in its offenses,” meaning that no one group shall bear the brunt of the joke. • The Dailyer Nebraskan shall follow the AP Style Guide. • The Dailyer Nebraskan shall follow all rules set forth by the UniversityWide Student Publications Committee’s Guidelines for the Student Press-Revised Edition.
THE INVISIBLE WAR By Kirby Dick (Aug 31 - Sept 6) Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Kirby Dick investigates the epidemic of rape in the military while speaking with courageous victims who have refused to be intimidated into silence.
CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER By Lee Toland Krieger (Aug 31 - Sept 13) Lee Toland Krieger's humorous romantic MOSQUITA Y MARI drama focuses on best friends (Rashida By Aurora Guerrero (Ends Aug 30) Two Latina teens from East L.A. fall into an Jones, Andy Samberg) who stay incredibly unlikely romance that forces them both to close even after they divorce. Co-written reevaluate their lives in this coming of age drama. by Jones and actor Will McCormack The Ross offers an alternative to commercial theaters and shows the critically acclaimed Independent and foreign films you won’t see anywhere else in Lincoln. Our concessions stand features Nebraskagrown popcorn, candy, and gourmet snacks from local businesses. Check our website for upcoming films, special events, and showtimes. Dates are sunject to change.
Volume 6, Issue 1
Unable to Find Remote, Grandfather Resigns to Watching Whatever the Hell This Is By Greg Bright Dailyer Nebraskan
After searching around his reclining chair for “ten damn minutes,” 63 year-old Lincoln resident and loving grandfather of six Louis Barton realized that he was never going to find “that stupid remote” without getting up, and decided to resign himself to watching “whatever the hell this is.” As the “ridiculously stupid” program played, Barton could be heard muttering about how none of “those kids” ever respected “[his] things” and that his residence is always in a state of “damn chaos” whenever they come over. “Those kids don’t even try to be civilized,” Barton could be heard complaining to himself before going silent as his television program cut to a young female in a bikini. “It’s not like I ask for
much from them,” Barton continued immediately after the show returned to not having barely clothed women on the screen. “I asked them, at least once, to make sure that damn remote stays on the recliner, but do they ever listen? No.” Barton then went into what can only be described as a muffled tirade about how “[he] never acted like that at his grandfather’s house” before spending the rest of the television program trying to remember what his grandfather’s name was. As the program ended, Barton once again began looking for the remote before noticing that the next program would include two young women fighting and wrestling while at a car wash, then decided that it wasn’t worth finding the remote “quite yet.”
All Contact With Western Nebraska Lost
By Jacob Fricke Dailyer Nebraskan photo illustration by Jacob Fricke By Jacob Fricke Dailyer Nebraskan
All people, places, and things in Western Nebraska appear to be unreachable, according to reports from across the country. Phone lines appear to be empty, internet usage has flatlined, and lights appear to have gone out in all areas leading to the Omaha and Lincoln metro areas.
“They appear to have completely…. vanished,” said notably shaken state representative Tyson Larsen. “I was in Lincoln on government business, when suddenly everything from my district went quiet.” Several armed expeditions have been sent to the Western part of the state, though at press time none had returned. Authorities
report that contact with these search parties became fainter and fainter as they moved farther west, and that no individuals or “living things of any kind” could be found. Authorities monitoring radio waves have reported no activity, except a consistent, low volume beeping noise and one long, lonely cow’s moo.
Hoarder Will Not Pass the Ketchup By Matt Sueper Dailyer Nebraskan
A late-night meal at Village Inn turned sour last Saturday evening when local hoarder Gertrude Harris refused to pass a bottle of Heinz ketchup to a table of students just feet away. Other customers on-site at the time reported they were just as astounded at the inattentive service as they were at the selfishness of Harris. “She just looked at me dead in the eyes and said ‘No’ after I asked for the ketchup. There were, like, eight bottles on her table,” said Rebecca Roberts, a UNL senior. Things escalated when Roberts and her two companions decided to retaliate by taking every mustard and syrup bottle in the
restaurant for their single table. In response, Harris reportedly clutched her bottles of ketchup to her chest and started shaking in anger. “Yeah, I could totally tell she wanted the mustard. That was her next target,” Roberts added to her testimony. The lone waitress working at Village Inn Saturday night refused to comment but, according to Roberts, was raucously laughing in the corner throughout the scramble for condiments. Harris was not available for a statement, as she passed away in her house Sunday after being smothered by her 47 cats. Her funeral will take place Tuesday morning at St. Michael’s Lutheran Protestant Unorthodox Church.
photo illustration by Jacob Fricke
Child Returns Home Despite Repeated Attempts at Abandonment By Mitch McCann Dailyer Nebraskan
News outlets surrounded the home of a local family over the weekend when it was reported that a young boy, Graham Wilder, had returned home after having been missing for over 72 hours.The family admitted this was not the first circumstance in which Graham had gone missing, but said they were optimistic that “once all these media types are gone, we can try again.” Reporters on the scene recounted the multiple instances in which the Wilder boy had
disappeared. Many of the incidents involved Graham’s parents, William and Linda, taking their son to populated areas before leaving suddenly without notifying their son. “We don’t consider ourselves bad parents,” said Will Wilder in his press statement. “Graham is just a difficult child to keep track of. We have tried to make him a model son, but it seems every year he becomes more snobby and entitled. We’re fed up.” The neighboring community also volunteered their opinions on the 31st reappearance
of the young Wilder. “I lost count of the times I wished that kid would be gone for good, but he keeps finding his way back. Little snot. He’s like a damn bloodhound,” quipped Gertude Olsen, a widow from down the street of the Wilder household. “I swear, if I get one more phone call from that punk after being left at a Six Flags or ditched in a Denny’s upstate, I’m going to lose it,” offered another neighbor. “You can only ignore the cries of an abandoned child for so long before it grows old.”
National & World
August 28, 2012
Peter Jackson Survives Apocalypse By Splitting Soul Into Three Hobbit Films By Emily Kuklinski Dailyer Nebraskan
After it was announced that “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson intended to divide “The Hobbit” into three parts, a sense of confusion and apprehension was felt amongst the nerd community. Upon hearing the news, Jackson’s avid followers were forced to ask a difficult question: why would the shortest book of the “Lord of the Rings” affiliated series be split into three separate movies when its longer predecessors could fit into one? “May your worries now be laid to rest,” Jackson wrote on his blog. “The answers behind these questions will be revealed to you in time.”
As Jackson stated in a public address yesterday, the decision is related to the popular conspiracy that Dec. 21, 2012, will be the end of the world. The first “Hobbit” movie is due to be released on Dec. 14 of this year, “a mere week before Frodo drops the one ring of the world into the fiery pits of Mount Doom,” Jackson points out. Wanting to find a way out of this unfortunate ending of the world, Jackson decided to take a page out of another highly successful book series to prolong “his Legolas-y.” British author J.K. Rowling has revealed through her popular “Harry Potter” book series that through the usage of mythical ‘horcruxes,’ as they are called, an indi-
Republicans Attempt to Redefine the Term “Pregnancy”
vidual can protect portions of their soul from death within seemingly normal objects. “Rowling has–quite literally–accomplished this same feat, successfully splitting her soul into each of her seven books, eight movies and even a theme park,” said Rowling’s agent. Jackson’s innovative approach, splitting “The Hobbit” into three parts, may just be his sorcerer’s stone. And as doomsday prophet and pop culture expert John Robberts put it, “as long as we ‘hobbit’ onto the bandwagon – he he he -- and sell our souls to the movie theatre corporations via admission, we might be able to keep our lives as well.”
sents to having a child is it truly a ‘Legitimate Pregnancy.’” Rep. Akin stated that the current law allows thousands of women to accuse men of knocking them up, straddling them with crushing child support payments. Akin claimed that it is entitlement programs By Alex Wunrow told by Doctors,” said Mis- like child support that are Dailyer Nebraskan souri Congressman Todd undermining the American House Republicans reaf- Akin, “Is that women can Dream. Armed with his convicfirmed their position that only get pregnant if they the female body is truly a want to. It’s a like a switch tions, Rep. Akin went on wonderland. that they turn off and on, to sponsor the “Legitimate “What I’ve always been and only if the man con- Pregnancy” bill. The legis-
lation would redefine the term pregnancy to state that “a pregnancy is only legitimate in the case that both parties are consenting members in the desire for children.” His comments ignited a political firestorm on the internet. Conservative sites began to publish indepth diagrams explaining the validity of Rep. Akin’s bill, while liberal websites sent out links to the “Pregnancy” Wikipedia page; Republican interns inevitably changed the Wikipedia
page to include Rep. Akin’s theory. After the immediate uproar, Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney made a statement trying to distance himself from Rep. Akin. “Todd Akin is a member of the Republican party, which I am representing for president,” said Mr. Romney. “Asking me questions about his candidacy is ridiculous, and should have nothing to do with my campaign representing the Republicans and their entire platform.”
Volume 6, Issue 1
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Visit ubt.com/mystyle or stop into a branch to learn more. Now open at 13th & Q inside the Nebraska Bookstore. MyStyle Checking available to persons age 16 to 25. Requires $50 opening deposit and enrollment in e-Statements. The following applies if option selected: $50 cash deposited to your account within 30 days of month-end following your 10th point-of-sale debit card transaction if conducted within 2 months of account opening; 2500 Reward Points credited to your Points2U account within 60 days of account opening. If ATM Fee Freedom option selected, $2 ATM Usage Fee at non-UBT ATMs is waived on first 20 transactions per statement cycle; some ATM owners may assess a surcharge of which we have no control and are not able to waive. Other restrictions apply. Member FDIC
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8/9/12 1:47 PM
The Dailyest Event calendar
Lincoln’s source for alternative entertainment news
Coverage by Daniel Stier
Omaha is one of the fastest-growing cities in America and has one of the fastest growing music scenes. Nationally, Omaha has put itself on the map with Saddle Creek Records, being home to venues like the Slowdown and The Waiting Room, and having local music hub HearNebraska.org bring the music of the plains to the rest of the world. For those that view Nebraska as a state still relying on covered wagons, they need only look a bit closer to see that big things are happening -a movement. A Nebraska state of mind puts local artists side by side with national touring artists in a one-day showcase in Omaha called MAHA Music Festival. The 2012 festival marked the third time that a congregation of musicians, families, and music lovers came together in the former cattle town for a celebration that is unlike any other festival out there. Two stages side-by-side, one a local showcase stage the other a national stage, give the chance to view Nebraskan musicians right next to acts that have received nationwide recognition. On the local stage, some Nebraskan bands have already received (and will be getting more) national nods. UUVVWWZ, signed to Saddle Creek along with the soon-tobreak-out Icky Blossoms, shared the local stage with Universe Contest, who seemed to unleash the madness of MAHA with their own brand of psych-rock. Icky had the most people out of their lawn chairs watching by far. A band that has generated an impressive amount of hype and adoration since their debut album dropped in July, Icky Blossoms
held a dance party in the rain during their energetic set while guitarist Derek Pressnall urged the crowd to dance for the rain gods. It is the second year that MAHA was held at Aksarben Village, and the area is a wonderful selection for the growing festival. The entire area has undergone renovations and has plenty of restaurants outside the venue, as well as a good selection of food vendors inside the gates. Yet one of the greatest parts of the festival, aside from the music, was the local businesses and organizations that set up tents in the Community Village. This area held booths from Hear Nebraska, which taught people how to build their own tambourines for free, and The Goodwill, where you could design and paint your own shirt. These booths were a great opportunity for children to do hands-on activities, and brought a very important family-friendly atmosphere to the festival. On the main stage, Conduits, Delta Spirit, and Dum Dum Girls were well-received and were melded well with the variety of sounds coming from the local stage. But the two bands that were most anticipated were Garbage and Desaparecidos. Artists throughout the day voiced their adoration for Shirley Manson and the 90’s band that returned from hiatus when releasing their album “Not Your Kind of People”; Garbage’s performance was one of the highlights of the festival, and Manson’s voice was just as powerful and distinctive as it was during their heyday. The set reached a peak when Garbage busted out “I’m Only Happy When it Rains,” appro-
priately enough when it was pouring on the crowd. Deseparecidos were the festival’s main headliner, and many were excited that Connor Oberst is back with the project that disappeared shortly after releasing “Read Music/Speak Spanish” in 2002. Many things, both good and bad, can be said on how Oberst performs. Oberst is intense when playing his songs and brings an energy to live sets that enhances the emotion and anger put into each word. His on-stage attitude, though, can be rough at times. Oberst seems to have no problem talking shit to his crowd and seemed to aim jabs at Garbage, saying things like, “Ok, Garbage is up next. Stay tuned for Garbage.” Yet Oberst’s energy and the way he performs don’t allow you to forget the show for a good while, even if he becomes upset for no reason and stomps off stage. Despite all this, MAHA has room to grow. The two stage setup, going back and forth with bands, is well done and well thought out, but the festival should be expanded to two days next year. MAHA and Omaha provide the state with something that no other music festival can, but there were the annoying times when donors and festival organizers decided to speak in between each set. It made things drag a bit, although those interjections were offset by the unexpected and amazing moments, like a rap group of children called the Day Dreamers who wowed the unsuspecting audience. If MAHA, already a spectacularly successful festival, can continue to grow as it has, the sky is the limit. Feature
Andrew Bird Plays Rock legend JackIntimate White Gig in Omaha takes Page 9 9 Page
Q98.5 DJ OneFormer man party on his process & Polychronopolis source material Talks Radio Days Page 11 10
August 28, 2012
This section is intended to provide an alternative source of entertainment news to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln student body and the community of Lincoln.
Daniel Stier email@example.com
Assistant Ent. Editor Gabe Potter firstname.lastname@example.org
Greg Bright Patrick Wright Mitch McCann Sean Stewart Matt Sueper Kyle Brown
Lincoln & Omaha concerts
8/28 • Bluegrass Society Presents: Carolyn Wonderland @ The Waiting Room 8/29 •Hope and Therapy @ Duffy’s Tavern 8/31 • The Nadas @ The Waiting Room 9/1 • Voodoo Method @ The Waiting Room • Cannonista @ The Slowdown 9/4 • Netherfriends @ The Zoo Bar
8/29 • Lawless • The Day 8/31 • The Tall Man • The Good Doctor • The Possession 9/7 • Bachelorette
9/4 • Animal Collective - Centipede Hz • Cat Power - Sun • Imagine Dragons - Night Visions • Two Door Cinema Club - Beacon 9/11 • The XX - Coexist • A$AP Rocky - LongLiveA$ASP • The Helio Sequence - Negotiations • The Avett Brothers - The Carpenter • Ludacris - Ludaversal
SEEDS. STAFF PICKS
Celeste & Jesse Forever
Coming to the Ross
Solace Call & Response
The Best Of Netflix Instant Watch
God Bless America
In dark comedian/director Bobcat Goldthwait’s “God Bless America”, Frank and 16-year-old Roxy embark on a killing spree to rid our nation of absentminded citzens. Violent and hilarious, this moivie is a biting cometary of our own society.
Following the twisted reality of the seemingly inconsequential life of Oh Dae-su, “Oldboy” watches as its protagonist’s existence plummets sickeningly around him. The series of unexplainable horrors that taunt Oh Dae-su unravel across an engaging film.
Jacky Vanmarsenille, a cattle farmer, is approached to make a shady deal with a beef trader. Weighty consequences set in motion by an assassination of a policeman and a confrontation from Jacky’s past. Bullhead was nominated for an Academy Award last February.
30 for 30: Roll Tide/ War Eagle Part of ESPN’s excellent sports documentray series, “Roll Tide/War Eagle” showcases the intense Alabama/Auburn rivalry and how the two schools come to rely and trust in each other when the community needs it most.
Alphas When altered human beings called “Alphas” join Dr. Lee Rosen in an investigation of a dead court witness, it turns out to be a little more involved than originally thought. In this SyFy thrilller each character brings something to the table and keeps you engaged.
Volume 6, Issue 1
Divine Fits: “A thing called divine fits”
By Mitch McCann Seeds.
“A Thing Called Divine Fits” is the debut by indie supergroup Divine Fits. Featuring Britt Daniel of Spoon, Dan Boeckner of Wolf Parade/Handsome Furs, and Sam Brown of New Bomb Turks, Divine Fits take a stab at creating an ultra-modern indie rock record, to largely positive results. Inspiration bleeds in from every corner of the gents’ careers and the points on “ATCDF” where it rings most
true are when all its respective parts move in tandem. Having any number of well-known musicians collaborate on an effort yields a certain degree of tug and pull, but tracks like “Flaggin’ A Ride” showcase how potent talented artists can make a simple idea in a contained environment. Divine Fits’ singular vision keeps the band honest to their synth-laden night jams. Pushing carefully-constructed
rhythms under stylized vocal work to craft an impressive exposition to a band full of direction. In a time where finding a standalone record becomes increasingly rare, Divine Fits drops the most unassuming record of the year. Together, Daniels, Boeckner and Brown have formed an objective alliance. More a directive than a side project, A Thing Called Divine Fits is a statement with legs. Idiosyncrasies are on full dis-
play as elements of the band members previous efforts sneak onto “ATCDF,” including Daniels’ signature rock tambourine. The industrial synth bend tastes of what a Britt Daniels score of the movie Drive might have sounded like. The band’s chemistry pervades the record while clever groove tracks “Like Ice Cream” and solitary cover song “Shivers” boost this sleeper effort into hit status.
Premium Rush: Film Review
By Sean Stewart Seeds.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one of Hollywood’s most quickly
rising young stars, bursting onto the scene when Zooey Deschanel smashed his heart into pieces in 2009’s surprise indie hit “500 Days of Summer.” Since then, GordonLevitt has been quickly gaining momentum, taking on a slew of roles in films such as “Inception” and “50/50” that proved he is a wellrounded and versatile actor. Most recently he had a lead role in “The Dark Knight Rises” as James Blake, and Jo-Go’s newest flick is “Pre-
mium Rush.” Premium Rush follows a New York City bicycle messenger named Wilee through one particularly hectic day. Wilee is assigned a delivery of an extremely valuable package, but a dirty cop, Michael Shannon, intends to make Wilee miss his deadline. You can guess where it goes from there. While “Premium Rush” definitely sets up Shannon’s rogue cop as the primary antagonist, what saves it from
being just a cookie-cutter action movie are the other antagonists thrown into the picture. In the midst of fighting for his life, Wilee has to compete with another messenger both with speed and for a girl, try to evade being arrested by a bicycle police officer with a personal grudge, and perhaps the most vile of the bunch: New York City itself. NYC isn’t easy to navigate by car, and it’s exponentially more difficult when trying to weave between traf-
fic, pedestrians, poles, trashcans, squirrels, babies, and— well you get the idea. The thing that the movie does well is let you have fun. It may not answer questions about the meaning of life, but it doesn’t pretend to. It does promise to deliver a fast-paced, non-superhero, non-predictable action movie that our past few summers have been missing. Wilee’s bike may not have a motor, but “Premium Rush” takes you for one hell of a ride.
Owl City: “The MIdsummer Station”
By Patrick Wright Seeds. Back in June Adam Young, bet-
ter known by his stage name Owl City, released the radio single “Good Time” for his latest album “The Midsummer Station.” He explained that “every artist is inherently granted one shot to sing about having a good time in his or her life.” Unfortunately, Young did that for an entire album. “The Midsummer Station” sounds like everything you’d hear on top 40 radio. Gone are the poetic lyrics found on
2009’s “Ocean Eyes,” replaced with the dumbed-down lyrics normally found on a Katy Perry album. Upbeat grooves and dance synths reign supreme, especially on “Bombshell Blonde” and “I’m Coming After You,” only reinforcing the fact that you’d probably hear the exact same thing if you turned on KFRX right now. It’s hard to believe this is the same person that created “Fireflies” and “The Technicolor Phase” only a
few short years ago; “The Midsummer Station” is a complete turnaround from the old Owl City. There are some saving graces to the album, though, one of which comes in the form of Carly Rae Jepsen. Jepsen’s voice fits the peppy tone of “Good Time” perfectly, adding a much-needed punch of pop to the song. “Silhouette” is a pleasant change from the hectic pacing and, despite the
melancholy tone, is one of the rare moments of beauty on the album as it trades in the synths for actual pianos. As much as I tried to like “The Midsummer Station,” however, I just couldn’t. It was too overdone musically, too simple lyrically, and doesn’t do Owl City any justice. Adam Young may be having a good time producing albums like this, but selling out in the process isn’t the way to do it.
Andrew Bird: Holland Performing Arts Center
By Daniel Steir Seeds. In a cathedral of pine and Murphy’s Oil Soap, Andrew bird entertained an unsuspecting crowd at the Holland center with a two-hour set.
Going to the Holland Center in Omaha is always an exciting prospect, but when paired with a single violin sweeping, steeping, and placing you into a complacent state of mind, the experience seems to take on a whole new identity. This was, of course, taking Andrew Bird out of an indie club and placing his looping pedals and spinning phonograph into an environment where the sound seemed to grow organically, filling a space one can only deem appropriate for such an artist with the nuance of amorphous classical instrumentation. When folks took their seats, opener Kelly Hogan and her band of three
gentlemen took the stage and set forth a storytelling vibe in her set, which seemed to carry through to the headliner. Kelly sang sad ballads of falling out of love with the right men and being a lone woman on the road. But even though the songs were well-written, Kelly made the point to tell us she did not write them. Hogan used excessive namedropping to reference the songs’ creators, including Andrew Bird himself, M. Ward, Neko Case, and others. High notes also seemed to be a struggle for Hogan; pushing her tired voice high tended to force her flat and made an impressive vocal style seem a little dull. However,
the performance Kelly gave was an appropriate opener to the evening. After a short intermission, Andrew Bird took to the stage with violin in hand. He opened his set solo, looping and stirring the audience awake. The sound reverberating around the grand concert hall even gave Mr. Bird a chill, and he admitted to the crowd that he felt special just being able to perform in the space. Continuing to weave stories, Andrew explained during “A Nervous Tick Motion of the Head to the Left” that he could not twitch his own head left due to a mountain bike accident the previous day. As he explained
the meaning of songs and the mental process of lyric creation, the crowd was welcomed into Bird’s mind and was captivated. At different points throughout the long set, Andrew took the show over to the “old-timey mic,” as he called it -- on stage right sat a lone corded microphone. Andrew with his violin, the bassist with a double bass, and his guitarist with a mini-scale acoustic all huddled around it. With Martin Dosh still on drums and brushes, the stripped-down segments around the single microphone gave more texture and variety to the already special performance.
August 28, 2012
Polychronopolis Former Omaha DJ on his time in radio and the trials of leaving his second home. inTerview by mitch mccann Disk Jockey Paul “Polychronopolis” Fletcher spent nearly 10 years cultivating a taste for Omaha radio - an early penchant for talking too much and knack for speaking in hyperbole gave Fletcher the skills needed to “fall into” radio. Years of experience with artists both on and behind the mic have given Fletcher the skills necessary to carve out his own place in his industry. Better known to Omaha by his Q98-Five DJ handle “Polychronopolis,” Fletcher’s years in radio and love of everything music have given him strong opinions on the industry. Seeds. Entertainment: Can you tell me a little bit about your start in radio? How you came to it, how you ended up DJing with Q98-Five... that type of thing. Paul Fletcher: I started in Minneapolis. I bugged the radio peeps fairly often. My name went up in the studio as someone who was hungry. I got calls, once in awhile for stunts and to answer phones for jocks when needed. Finally, one day in 1996, I got a call from the promotions department asking if I was interested in an internship. I did that for a few months. Then got a shot to help out a jock, full time. Turned that into a weekend shift, which evolved into lots of weekend hours and fill-in shifts. I then did what I call the “triangle.” Minneapolis, to Vail, Colo., to Des Moines. Back to Minneapolis. Back out to Vail. To Omaha. Vail, the first time, was my first full-time gig and I initially moved there in 1998. SE: Is there a sense of competition between radio stations around Omaha, like you and Channel 94.1 or 89.7 The River? PF: Hm. There’s always a little friendly competition for me, personally. I’m a competitive person. But, overall, no... we just do our own thing. That’s one of the things I love the most about Q98-Five and being a part of this station. You can’t really pigeonhole what
we do. We’re a very unique radio station. SE: How do you feel about working with and inside Top 40-ish radio? Is working with songs by The Fray, Adele, Katy Perry, Coldplay, or The Black Keys on repeat for months at a time something you don’t mind or just have to become acclimated to? PF: Well, we really aren’t a true Top 40 station. We sort of carve our own niche. So we don’t repeat music nearly as much as most contemporary stations. So it doesn’t bother me at all. SE: I assume you’re in a position where you get to meet big stars or artists. Have you ever had an experience where you’ve met a favorite artist of yours or a celebrity and had them be down to earth or exceed your expectations? PF: I’ve had a couple few of those situations. Dave Grohl was unbelievable.You know the crazy goofball he appears to be on TV, in interviews, in videos... that’s exactly the guy I met. Other peeps that have been really down to Earth were the guys in Metallica -- super cool. Christina Perri was an amazing chick. She forced me to have a crush on her. I tried not to, but I was helpless against her awesomeness. I can’t say enough good things about the guys in Nickelback. Yeah, there’s that negativity and crap out there on them, but they’re the most down-to-Earth dudes I’ve ever met in this silly industry. I’ve had the opportunity to experience things I would’ve never had the chance to do because of them. So I’m eternally grateful and can’t stop gushing about them. SE: I know you’re a big proponent of The Slowd o w n . W h a t kind of a c t s have you seen
come by over the years? I know Against Me! played there... PF: Me and my buddy played foosball with those guys when they were opening for the Foo Fighters once, and they kicked our ass. We didn’t even score. Anyway, those guys are great. I’ve seen some great shows there. Airborne Toxic Event stands out for whatever reason; they were so good live. The Fun. show was great, but for me it was more about [opening act] Sleeper Agent. I don’t remember what else I saw there, but The Slowdown is one of the class acts of the club world, not just in Omaha. Across the country I think bands look forward to playing there. I’ve heard numerous bands state that The Slowdown has done a really good job of catering to them as artists. I’d say those were the ones that stood out. SE: As someone who has a professional interest in music, who seeks it out, and whose job it is to be around music, I want to know, not who your favorite artists are, but what drew you to your favorite artists. PF: I guess what it really comes down to is that my favorite bands all have [things] in common... Pearl Jam, Beach Boys and some other lesser knowns. [And] Failure -- trust me, Failure’s “Fantastic Planet” is probably the greatest record that nobody knows, because they broke up just after that album came out. I was lucky enough to find it. Elliot Smith is another favorite. As far as new favor-
ites, Sleeper Agent, Imagine Dragons... it all comes back to... it has to be genuine. And you have to do it live. If you can’t do it live, [and] there’s been some great bands that come along and you’ll see them and it’s like, “oh, it doesn’t even sound like what I heard on the record,” it’s incredibly disappointing. And so when you have that connection live... I’m a big lyrics guy too. The lyrics have to challenge me, the lyrics have to be interesting to me. I want to be able to relate to them. I think that’s the first way Pearl Jam got their hooks into me. Eddie [Vedder] is one of the greatest lyricists of all time. That’s not even subjective, that’s a fact. [Laughs] He’s an amazing crafter of words. Seeing them live changed my life. Same thing with The Beach Boys, back in the day: it was a simpler time, but Brian [Wilson]’s [and] Mike Love’s lyrics were always -- again you have to take into consideration the times, especially with the later albums like “Pet Sounds” and “Smile” -- the lyrics are challenging and interesting and they tell good stories. The simplest song “In My Room” by The Beach Boys is an amazing story and just an amazing concept that anybody can relate to. SE: Is there any inside info with radio stations you think fans should take into account that they do not? Like parent companies driving content on your station, something to that effect? PF: There’s a myth we can bust right there. That doesn’t happen. In fact it’s quite the opposite: we pay record companies. Everybody else thinks it’s “pay per play”
[where artists/labels pay stations for every play of their track] and in fact that’s quite illegal. [The] pay per play [process] is called “payola” and that’s a fantastic way to find yourself out of the industry in about five seconds. As far as the record labels go, it’s not nearly as evil as people like to think it is. It’s not the machine that people think it is. There are artists that, under my breath, I’ll cough and say [coughs]...Ke$ha!...[coughs] that are complete pieces of machine. It’s like, “okay let’s go find something that’s kind of wacky like Lady Gaga and let’s write some songs for it. You know, that’s been my opinion. A band that gets a lot of heat, for example, is Nickelback. Nickelback writes their own songs, they’re great... [yet] people love to slam those guys. I will go on the record as backing them up. Because, again, one of my criteria is being able to do it live, and they can do it live. Period. People think, “oh, record companies are making Nickelback write these [songs].” Do people really think record labels have that much power? Do you think anybody tells Nickelback what to do? [Laughs] You know what I mean? Sure they’ve figured out a formula and whatnot, but they write their own songs, they do what they want. I’m sure they write some songs that are going to be hits, but that’s their livelihood. The record companies having that kind of control is a complete myth. The artists rule the world right now. SE: Is anything else you wanted to say, regarding your departure? PF: I loved my time in Omaha for sure. This area has taken on a different twist from when we started. It kind of became a second home to me a little bit. I’m actually getting a little bit choked up now talking about it. [It’s] going to be difficult to say goodbye. Omaha has been fantastic to me. It will always have a spot in my heart. Thanks, everybody, for the support over the years.
Volume 6, Issue 1
By Mitch McCann Seeds.
The Good,The Better & The Best of Bonnaroo Tucked away in the dead center of Nowhere, Tennessee, The Bonnaroo Music & Arts festival sprawls across miles of rolling hills that transform, seemingly on a dime, from silent meadows into a weird, sweltering, muddy, booming, uncomfortable paradise. With a three major act tents, two stages built to the nines, a glorified circus canopy for the comedically inclined, and even an air conditioned oasis for movie buffs, Bonnaroo caters to all kinds. And all kinds show up. The ‘roo exists as a community of indulgent, Earthloving, peace-nik, music enthusiasts with access to every vice known to man and the good sense to share it with their neighbor. No festival-goer is left behind. So, without further ado, Seeds. Entertainment presents...
Features seeds. 11
likely to actually find, carnival rides, obscene games to be played for ludicrous prizes, massage chairs, splash parks, autograph tents, merchandise booths are far as the eye can see. From nostalgic (and tardy) hip hop acts like Black Star, to more “out there” sets by some old favorites like The Shins. Bands who put on a solid performances because it’s in their lifeblood (Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers) to comedians Reggie Watts and Nick Thune who do what they do best. Audiences may not necessarily always be picking up the vibes these acts put down, but many are old pros. Speaking of old pros, Canadian indie act City & Colour gave Sunday crowds as intimate a performance as they could hope for as an overcast Manchester sky topped the singer’s performance quite elegantly.
City & Colour The day to day of Bonnaroo involves something like: waking up on cold, uneven ground, makeshift shower, and then trekking a solid mile to the grounds. For anyone who isn’t a Negative Nancy (or on Day 4), this is but a blip on the Bonnaroo radar. The grounds are merely the last obstacle between them and the music. Once you’re inside the gates, it’s total sensory overload from start to finish. More food than you’re
By Gabe Potter Seeds. While Chicago’s summer officially closes as it opened (with baseball), the highlight of its summer remains the Lollapalooza festival, which this year serves as the warm months’ last hurrah. The festival’s 2012 lineup had impressive contemporary bands, to be sure. But what made this year memorable were the ones who could be forgiven for shaking off post-hiatus and “retirement” cobwebs: At the Drive in, Bloc Party, and Black Sabbath in particular made this year’s festival truly special. The quality of the music at Lollapalooza is never in question.The acts, as with all summer festivals, are hired
To conclude the first night, Alabama Shakes polished sound carried throughout the festival grounds. Brittany Howard’s signature voice (what will soon be an American treasure, mark my words) filled “This Tent” with grooves that sounded straight from one’s own headphones. Ben Folds Five played their second gig in nearly ten years at Bonnaroo. Matching old enthusiasm that fans ate up for the entirety of the set, even as Ben snapped a piano wire and took a photo of his entire audience flipping him the bird. The back catalog of the aging punks never sounded so fresh
because they are good. What makes this festival truly unique is that it is held in downtown Chicago. Though the festival begins at midday, it isn’t until after headliners start at 10pm that the chaos begins. Upwards of 90,000 people take to the street, closing Michigan Avenue and the surrounding blocks. Cars in the area are stranded, and the bars, clubs, and taxis are filled to capacity quickly. This overflow of people represents something truly special; something independent, despite the festival’s growing advertising. While you sip your $11 long island, keep in mind that the only other time the streets close down is when major
as it revitalized a drizzly Manchester crowd. Elsewhere in Bonnaroo, funkadelic act Fitz & The Tantrums brought the crowd into their unique brand of groovy mayhem. To cap off Saturday, Alice Cooper pulled out all the stops, inviting his signature python on stage (which itself featured zombie corpses and moving staircases, among other demonic fare.) Alice Cooper
Comedy acts continued to impress throughout the festival as Aziz Ansari showed off a large chunk of his newest hour and even swapped awful marriage proposal stories with an audience member. Just prior, Ansari’s opening act Rory Scovel won a few new fans with his quirky club style. But it was standup/author Moshe Kasher who took the cake his harrowing tale about winning a scrap with a New York douche. Bonnaroo has a way of separating men from the boys. One hit wonders aren’t going to make the cut when there’s four of your favorite groups rocking the same timeslot. For some bands, however, this is a blessing in disguise. The Roots, a.k.a. “the greatest band in late night,” had a cozy preRHCP slot that suited them just fine, rocking through endless reimagined covers and with enough time to get to their solid back catalog (including
“The Seed” and “Here I Come”.)
Comedy Central’s stand-up tent proved to be an oasis for fans wanting both to escape the heat and dive headfirst into quality stand-up. Comedian-turned-podcast mogul Marc Maron brought his infamous brand of alternative comedy to his headlining set as he related tales of near-fatal airplane rides and lonely hotel evenings. On the other side of the comedy spectrum, self proclaimed “Fun Dad” stand-up Pete Holmes brought the house down with a bit about the first (and only) time he dropped a puppy while relative newcomer Kyle Kinane stole his own portion of the show with his perfect rhythm and intelligent, referential cadence. One would assume the named headliners would “make” a festival. The celebs on the marquee are usually the ones raking in the big bucks and therefore should give the best performances. Bonnaroo 2012, however, belongs to the little guys; the silent killers who bring an energetic set full of solid and engaging material.Young the Giant, Foster the People and Childish Gambino all released solid albums in 2011 and have toured that material heavily since. This left them each with an ace in the hole to bring to Bonnaroo. In Foster’s case, it would be their last performance of the old record before heading into the studio. The case was similar with Gambino and YtG, both of whom have vast road experience and overwhelming stage presence. Mark Foster’s itchy shoulders (look at any live YouTube video and you’ll see) were but a small side effect of an unstoppable set. His
Comedy Central band’s goofy stage presence is somewhat antagonistic to their massive sound and wide appeal of the band, but that didn’t stop anyone from succumbing to Foster’s dancey hit record. The entire crowd belted Gambino’s lyrics back at him, and after watching his electrics crash, Donald Glover spit a freestyle - quality material, mind you - that clocked in around five minutes. Then, as the weekend drew to a close, an overly experimental Shins set left me resigned to leaving early, only to wander past “This Tent” just in time to catch Young the Giant’s undisputed dance hit “My Body,” and I’ll admit it was a far more satisfying end to my Bonnaroo experience.
Bonnaroo photos by Mitch McCann
films (like the filming of the most recent “Transformers” movie) pay to do so. When headliners finish and Lolla closes, one of the most unique aspects of the festival reveals itself. After-shows, where bands from the festivals play other Chicago venues (for an additional cost), allow you to see the bands in a setting with better acoustics, differing setlists, and hopefully fewer drunks. And you’re far more likely to run into the band at a nearby bar after. Giving them the opportunity to spill your drink and “hug it out” can make you a fan of bands like Delta Spirit and FIDLAR for life. Camping horror stories like those
of Bonnaroo and Sasquatch are nearly nonexistent, but there is a steep financial price to pay. Hotel rooms on Michigan Avenue and in the surrounding area can run more than $250 a night. You also have to take into account prices of other things: gasoline and cigarettes in particular are much cheaper outside city limits. These negative aspects don’t take
photos courtesy of Lollapalooza away from the truly special moments of Lollapalooza, however. Chaos brought on by two hour weather delays, plus those 90,000 fans waiting on the streets of Chicago to be allowed to reenter Grant Park, are what separate Lolla from the rest and represent the true crescendo of the Chicago Summer.