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Macklemore go Thrift Shopping on pg 47


“The Burg� pg 34

On or Off-

Best of Brewfest pg 12

Watch our writers try to

stay sober for one weeknight pg 60

Delondra Williams:



Which is better? pg 10

Activism through Computer Hacking pg 14


says about YOU pg 18

her way to the bank pg 40

Click for Alternate Cover

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DEPARTMENTS Editors Note Staff Page

5 6

Our Town Apartments vs. Dorms



We capture the bes of the Ellensburg Winter Hop Brew Fest.

What the popular website says about You and not Them.


Body Weight Workouts

Pete shows us how he got his hot body.

Where to take your date 12

Computer hackers fight for what’s right.

Rate My students




Spend nothing and surprise your special someone with this cool photo craft.


Marriage Equality: Just the Beginning.


Queer life in the red capital of a blue state.



Read about three of the best restaurants in town for any kind of occasion or couple.


Enough with the awkward eye contact!

Stories of how Pulse staff broke the ice.

Kiss & Tell

Life Hacks Wikileaks Anonymous

Jamie Klouse discusses Doctor Who and one of the biggest problems facing nerd culture today in her column.

Mind & Body

Find out which living situation is best for you.

Pitchers in Pictures

Girls Gone Wired


Wildcat’s: On Air


Zombie Girl Rises


Par one of a series on the DJ’s working the Central Washington University radio station 88.1 the Burg

Cwu alumnus Delondra Williams tells us about her TV-movie zombie-killing day job.



After Dark

Let’s Go Thrift Shopping

Reals About Raves

Central fashion design students pop some tags at the small town thrift shops; and look better than Macklemore doing it.


Sober Sisters

Pulse’s editorial staff joins Darby Cox on a night of denyig their true writer’s heritage and tries to stay sober for one night.

Happy Hour Happiness in a Cup


That water with sticks and leaves that the British drink is actually good for you.

Pulse Martinis

Students (and the Starlight) submit their favorite martini recipes.

The electronic dance music scene isn’t just about druggedout teenages waving glow sticks around.


RIP: the Written Word

Scott Herman has a message in his column for everyone who would look down on Journalism majors.


Half Cool, Half Lame?

Connie Morgan shares her thoughts on being mixed-race in her column.

Sleep, Interrupted 60



Slender Man is coming for Mende Smith in her column.

Concert Calendar

Look and see what’s going on in the PNW music and club scene this month.



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Nathaniel Iven-Diemer Associate Editor

Mende Smith Assistant Editor

Peter O’Cain Art Director/Designer

Lindsey Antilla Faculty Adviser

Check us out Online!

Jennifer Green

Winter 2013 Issue 1 Central Washington University’s policies and practices affirm and actively promote the rights of all individuals to equal opportunity in education and in employment without regard to race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, age, material status, disability, or status as a protected veteran. The person responsible for CWU’s institutional compliance with various federal and state laws and institutional policies dealing with discrimination is Staci Sleigh-Layman, Interim Director of the Office of Equal Opportunity, Barge Hall 221, -509-9632205 TTD 509-963-2207. CWU is an AA/EEO/ Title IX institution. Upon request, this document is available in accessible formats (Braille, large print or audio cassette). Contact Disability Support Services at 509-963-2171 TDD 509-963-2146. Pulse falls under the auspices of the Student Media Board at Central Washington University. For more information, contact the Communication Department at

Cover photo by Pauline Merckieva Photography Alternate Cover photo provided by Delondra Williams On the cover: Delondra Williams CWU Alum 2004


Pulse gets interactive. Humans are social creatures by nature, and as we evolve, it only makes sense that our technology would reflect this process. Magazines don’t just send their readers subscription notices in the mail or hide coupons or ads within their pages anymore. Now they have websites, email notifications, name-brand products, social media profiles, YouTube channels, and even smartphone and web apps to go along with their printed content. As humanity becomes even more connected through the Internet, our media continues to become more and more convergent as we move from one era, one mindset, and one way of life to the next. And because our media is evolving, it only makes sense for PULSE Magazine to do the same. In addition to our online-only format, our Facebook page, and our Twitter account, we have added many platforms to our online presence since our last issue. So, if you are a pinner, pin us and we will pin you back. Check out our Pinterest page for upcoming reader contests and surveys. If you are a blogger, We have rebooted our Wordpress and we are popping content daily. Instagrammers? Uh huh, we got that covered. We even have a YouTube Channel where you can watch all of our new video content. From vids to vlogs, pins to blogs, Pulse Magazine has moved into the center of the social media along with our readers. Come with us and connect with us in all of our forms. Embrace the future, evolve with us. We are you, after all. Now more than ever, it is even easier to check your PULSE.


If life has taught me anything, it’s that things are always changing. Nothing remains constant. Not our bodies, not our minds, our lives, or even the ways we live them. And a magazine is no different. With a new Editor-in-Chief (moi), there come new changes. If you’ve kept up with us since our last issue, you know, Devin Larson has left us to pursue a career in taking really pretty Instagram photos of her standing in the middle of the street--for me to comment on (among other things), giving me sole custody of this baby we call PULSE. As EIC, I bring new changes for the magazine. We have a new (and bigger) staff that you can meet on page six and learn more about on page 30. We have a new look that you’ll see throughout the issue. We have a newborn slew of websites and social media apps to compliment our expanding online presence (aka shortcuts on the previous page). Links are scattered throughout the issue and our stories contain all sorts of supplemental material to beef up our stories. In making history, we have new regular features, including photo spreads, surveys, and video content. We even have a new section on page 12, changed to commemorate the Life Hacks Section, and a new name for an old one (now called Happy Hour). Stay tuned for a second new section based entirely on reader-submitted content in future issues. As we implement these new aesthetic and techy changes--(yes, we have gone Geek chic) we move closer to becoming a truly convergent reading experience along with the modern trends of the world’s media. And from there it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump away to gaining complete world domination via social networking profiles (or at least gaining a sense of cultural relevance; either or). Join us in this issue as we move forward with humanity in the everchanging dance of life. Because I’ll be goddamned if I continue to be the only one in this world who’s connected to the Internet via their phone 24/7. Thank you for reading, posting, and being,

Nathaniel Iven-Diemer Editor-in-Chief

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w/o meal plan

Al-Monty, Beck, Carmody Green, Hitchcock, Kennedy,Meisner, Quigley, and Sparks: Standard shared room $4,154 Standard single room $5,208 Large single room $5,602

Moore and Stephens-Whitney:

Three person suite $4,599


Two person suite $5,202


Shared rooms $4,349 Standard single room $5,436 Large single room $5,865 Two person suite $5,445


Shared rooms $4,349 Three person suite $4, 815 Shared rooms w/bath $4,985

Sue Lombard:

Large single room $5,865 Two person suite $5,445

Wendell Hill Hall:

Two person shared suites $6,164 Single room suites $6,642

CWU Apartment Rates Student Village

Single occupant studio $546 Single occupant large studio $655 One bedroom $655 Two bedroom $860 Three bedroom $940


One bedroom $660 Two bedroom $840


Two bedroom $860

Brooklane Village

One bedroom $604 Two bedroom $795 Three bedroom $860


Looking for a place to live?

Keep This In Mind... story and photographs by


Unsurprisingly, it was the students who live in apartments do so for the privacy. “I think one of the pros [of living off campus] is privacy...” says elementary As the end of the education major, Kelsey Staats who lives year draws closer and in the Brook . “I’ve never lived in a dorm personally, but I know my friends and closer, you may start to other people that have lived in dorms find pamphlets in your and it’s obviously a confined space and... you’re with someone so there’s not a lot of mailbox that say things privacy.” Students who live in the residence like, “Where are you halls are more skeptical when it comes to this aspect. “Cons would be seeing people going to live naked and hearing people through the next year?” walls,” says Chelsea “Cons would be Do you want Moudry, an English seeing people major. She and her to stay in the naked and roommate Billie hearing people dorms just Syverson, a Law through the walls.” and Justice major, so you don’t agree that the other people living in the have to bother Hitchcock residence hall could use some with finding the best lessons on manners. “No one has manners prices on apartments? to like knock and stuff,” said Billie. “Yeah,” Or are you tired of the Chelsea agrees. “People barge in all the time.”

Carli Seaman

res halls and want more freedom and a space to call your own?

We found some students who were willing to share with us their views on dorm and apartment life and their likes and dislikes of each.

Residence Hall

Convenience/Proximity Another aspect that many students should consider is convenience and proximity. “I think the biggest con is not having a washer and dryer in my apartment,” says Nikita Leavenworth, a Geography major living in Brooklane Apartments. “Having to take my clothes and go all the way to the

Community Center...a couple blocks from here just to do laundry is kind of a big pain in the butt.” Even though students living in apartments dislike the long walk from their apartments to campus or, in Nikita’s case, the walk from her apartment to do laundry, students living in the dorms have a different opinion. “You’re on campus so you’re extremely close by for everything,” says Film and Video Studies major and Wendell Hill Hall resident Kory “The Beard Prince” Caldwell. For Caldwell, “You’re on proximity is the biggest campus so you’re factor in deciding where extremely close by to live. “I’m closer to the for everything.” people I do know to hang out, study, whatnot,” he says. “I’m [also] close to my classes so I can wake up closer to the time of actually getting to class.” Carli Seaman lives in a dorm and doesn’t really mind it...most of the time.

Off Campus Apartments The Grove:

Three bedroom/three bath $505/month/person Two bedroom/two bath $515/month/person •$60 application fee •$250 one-time community fee •Utilities included in rent •Room rates are on a tiered system so they go up throughout the quarter. Once lease is signed, rate will not go up.

University Court:

Two bedroom/bath $885/month •$45 application fee •$500 security deposit •Utilities included in rent

College Park Apartments One bedroom/one bath $520/month Two bedroom/one bath $660/month •$400 per person security deposit •Water, sewer, garbage included in rent •Tenants pay telephone, cable, electricity

Alder Meadows:

One bedroom/one bath $550/month •$325 security deposit •$175 move in fee •Water, sewage, and garbage included in rent Two bedroom/one bath $750/month •$425 deposit •$225 move in fee •Water,sewage, and garbage included in rent

19th Avenue Duplexes:

Three bedroom/one bath $990/month •$675 deposit •Water,sewage, and garbage included in rent Three bedroom/two bath $1,200/month •$675 deposit •Water,sewage, and garbage included in rent

Alderwood Manor Apartments:

Two bedroom/one bath $700/month •$700 security deposit •$200 non-refundable •Water, sewage, and garbage included in rent One bedroom/one bath $550/month •$550 Security deposit •$175 non-refundable •Water, sewage, and garbage included in rent

Aspen Circle Apartments: One bedroom $575/month Two bedroom $725/month Three bedroom $960/month

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Pitchers inPictures story and photographs by


Mende Smith

Not too many people in Bellingham, Wash., no matter how much brew they drink, can say they are a Brew Master. Unless you happen to be Dave Vitt, who absolutely can. Kulshan Brewing Company founder sent a few kegs of beer and his top man, Rob Whitney, who was also the rising star from this year’s Winter Hop Brew Fest. This is not your momma’s beer. And we did not plan a story on the event. But, with the hype this Brew Fest newcomer got, we had to make an exception. Ask anyone and they will say “this brew kicks ass.” Kulshan’s success, Whitney says, is no accident. The success is in the powerful brew master duo behind the logo. Vitt, along with Tom Eastwood, carefully construct each recipe with higher standards than most small brewers. Kulshan is a brand new baby of a brew house, opened just nine months ago in the Skagit Valley. “Our Bastard Kat IPA has been our flagship brew with the largest following in local restaurants and bars here in Whatcom and Skagit County.” Whitney says. Slowly upgrading the taproom with our beer garden growing, popping up an pawning for cover in the Skagit rains, hoping one day to can—not bottle—their fourteen different beers. From dusk until dawn, Whitney made the frigid trip to Central Washington where they set up a petite double tap in a green ice chest cozied in the front of a local sporting goods shop between rows of kayaks and down-filled jackets. Whitney and the Kulshan boys, drained out pour after pour, turning tiny red scripts into small plastic glasses of the big taste the crowd most-loved. “Like the locals, we had a blast at the Ellensburg Winter hop Brew Fest with what seems the largest following at the event and people are saying our beer was the best of the Fest,” Whitney says.

re click he an for Kulsh Co. Brewing

Kulshan loves big brew taste. And the word on the street to Pulse Magazine is they brought the best brew to the ‘burg. As early as 3 p.m., venue taps were running dry—but Kulshan outlasted the brews on the block.

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click here for Wikileaks



HACKTIVIST 2.0 written by

Peter O’Cain Lindsey Antilla

illustration by

Today, six companies own 90 percent of all media: Comcast, Viacom, Disney, Time Warner, CBS, and News-Corps. According to a September 2012 Gallup poll, 60 percent of Americans don’t trust mainstream media to accurately report news. Furthermore, a recent Pew Research Center survey found that 73 percent of Americans don’t trust the government to “do the right thing always or most of the time.” 

 As a result, there has developed a thin, blurred line dividing criminal and public servant. Hacktivists and crackers are seizing the truth and attacking governments and corporations they believe to be abusing power. 

 Among them are Robin Hoods stealing from the powerful to give to the public and Guy Fawkes-style anarchists lobbing digital Molotov cocktails at governments and corporations. 

 A distrust of mainstream media has led to a law-bending form of vigilante journalism where information is taken, not asked for. Activism has mobilized online-now almost anyone can help overload servers belonging to government offices or corporations. 

 And people are pissed off. Governments do not like their secrets leaked. Billion dollar businesses do not like their websites shut down. 

Those who have been brave (or dumb) enough to infiltrate and exploit the world’s power infrastructure have paid either a heavy price or are facing one. 

 In April 2010, WikiLeaks began the process of publishing hundreds of thousands of classified diplomatic cables, military reports and a video of US helicopter attack on Iraqis. Pvt. 1st Class Bradley Manning was arrested the following month for allegedly leaking the materials and he’s been incarcerated ever since. His trial begins in June, where he faces 22 charges and could spend the rest of his life in prison without parole. 
 The man who facilitated the release of these documents, WikiLeaks founder and editor-in-chief Julian Assange, has spent much of the past three years dodging extradition to the US because there is a possibility that the US would prosecute him under the Espionage Act of 1917. 

 “They’re trying to interpret the Espionage Act to say that any two-way communication with a source is a collaboration with a source, and is therefore a conspiracy to commit espionage where classified information is involved,” said Assange in a January 2012 interview with Rolling Stone. The Espionage Act states that if one “communicates, delivers, or transmits” information related to national defense Click for video of US helicopter attack on Iraqis

with the intent to harm the United States may be imprisoned or sentenced to death. “An Espionage Act indictment against Assange would be unprecedented, and could erode freedoms that reporters enjoy during their normal work of cultivating sources in government,” wrote Raffi Khatchadourian in the New Yorker. 

 Assange believes this threat caused even the New York Times to back away from WikiLeaks, to which they had previously released advanced copies of leaked cables.

 “If Bradley Manning or another US government employee had collaborated with us to provide us with classified information, and we, in turn, collaborated with the Times to provide it to the world, then the argument would run that the Times had been involved in conspiracy with us to commit espionage,” Assange told Rolling Stone. 

 Presently, Assange is living in the Ecuadorian embassy in the United Kingdom. He’s wanted in Sweden on sexual assault charges, for which the UK wishes to extradite him. However, the Ecuadorian government has granted him political asylum. 

 According to ABC News, “The Ecuadorian foreign ministry said the country had decided to grant asylum because Sweden could not guarantee Assange would not be extradited from there to the United States.” 

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And in speaking to The New York Times, an Ecuadorean official said “that the British government had made it clear it would not allow Mr. Assange to leave the country to travel to Ecuador, so even with a grant of asylum or similar protection, he would probably remain stuck in the embassy.” 
 Despite Assange’s tenuous status a free man, WikiLeaks continues. In February 2012 they published five million emails from Stratfor, a Texas-based global intelligence company, which was found to have confidentially provided intelligence to Lockheed Martin, the US Marines, the Defense Intelligence Agency, among others. 

 According to WikiLeaks “The emails show Stratfor’s web of informers, pay-off structure, payment laundering techniques and psychological methods.” In July 2012 they published over two million emails from Syrian officials sent between 2006 and 2012. 

 “The material is embarrassing to Syria, but it is also embarrassing to Syria’s opponents,” Assange said on WikiLeaks. org. “It helps us not merely to criticize one group or another, but to understand their interests, actions and thoughts. It is only through understanding this conflict that we can hope to resolve It.” 

Aaron Swartz Internet activist and hacker Aaron Swartz took his own life on January 13. He was renowned for co-creating the RSS subscription service when he was barely a teenager and, not long after, helping to create Reddit. Swartz believed strongly in freedom of information and helped prevent the Stop Online Piracy Act, which would have restricted Internet liberties, last year. He was 26. 

 From September 24, 2010 to January 6, 2011 Swartz illegally downloaded millions of files from the academic research archive with a laptop hardwired into MIT’s network. For this he was charged with 13

felonies and faced up to 35 years in prison. (Although US attorney for Massachusetts Carmen Ortiz has said prosecutors would have recommended Swartz only serve six months because they believed he did not take the files for personal gain.) Swartz’s family believes the prosecution is what drove him to suicide. In a statement released on, they said, “Aaron’s death is ... the product of a criminal justice system rife with intimidation and prosecutorial overreach. Decisions made by officials in the Massachusetts U.S. Attorney’s office and at MIT contributed to his death. 

 The US Attorney’s office pursued an exceptionally harsh array of charges ... to punish an alleged crime that had no victims. Meanwhile, unlike JSTOR [which didn’t press charges], MIT refused to stand up for Aaron...” 


 One group who did stand up for him was the hacker collective Anonymous. 

 The Westboro Baptist Church promised to protest Swartz’s funeral, calling him a “fag, Jew bastard whose entire life was an assault against God.” In response, Anonymous launched “Operational Angel” or “#OpAngel,” which called for human shields to prevent the WBC from nearing the services. The controversial church never showed. 

 Less than a week later, Anonymous defaced MIT’s website by taking down its standard page and replacing it “R.I.P Aaron Swartz” and text from a long rant from Swartz concerning war and morality.

 This is the role Anonymous has placed itself in: archangel of anarchy. 

 They began in 2008 under less righteous pretenses when they took on the Church of Scientology by releasing a video of Tom cruise speaking at a summit, wearing a large, gold medallion and saluting a painting of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. A year later came Operation

Slickpubes, in which Anonymous member Ian Connor, then 18 years old, covered himself in Vaseline, pubic hair and nail clippings and then paraded through the church’s New York City headquarters. 

 Anonymous has since molded itself into a leaderless collection of more than 10,000 hackers. Communicating and organizing in encrypted chat rooms, they were instrument to the Arab Spring by shutting down Tunisian government websites and helping Egyptian rebels get back on the internet after it was shut down by the Hosni Mubarak led government. When the Syrian government disconnected the Internet for all its citizens last November Anonymous shut down several Syrian websites and others, including the Syrian embassy in Belgium and the Syrian Industrial Bank. 
 According to “The New Fourth Estate,” an essay published by Sebastian A.B., this is primarily done with the “Distributed Denial of Service attack (DDoS), where computer users request large amounts of data from a website simultaneously, overwhelming it and causing it to crash.” Anonymous has developed a software that makes it possible for almost anyone to help crash servers. Known as the Low Orbit Ion Cannon, a user downloads the software and with the click of a button, volunteers “their bandwidth to DDoS without even being at the computer, uniting with others in an automated “botnet,” says A.B. 

 In December, four UK Anonymous members were convicted of conspiracy to impair the operation of computers after DDOS attack against PayPal and MasterCard. The attack was prompted by the companies’ decision to stop processing donations to WikiLeaks. Christopher “Nerdo” Weatherhead, 22, who organized the attack, received an 18-month prison sentence. 

 In total, over 100 members have been arrested since 2010.

Follow Peter O’Cain on Twitter @ ManBearPete


Best of Central Washington Confessions, part one. Status Quo Social media is growing bigger by the minute. A recent Pew Research study finds, social networking among adult Internet users has doubled and redoubled since 2008. So what is appropriate to post on your Facebook page? Our editors recently stumbled upon the Central Washington University Confessions Facebook page, where the studentsubmitted secrets go from really ridiculous to really over-the-top. We devoted a space in this issue for some of our favorite (and most recent) recent posts here just for fun. #879 “my dad’s in prison and i send him intimate love letters from a friends address so he doesn’t know it’s me” #869 “There is a katy perry/ kim kardashian on our campus I swear” #856 “I’m a male, and I admit I’ve faked an orgasm and got away with it.”

#852 “3 boyfriends at once… none knew…2 ate lunch together with me at the same time…smart or swanky?”

#602 “I want to have sex with a guy while Justin Bieber plays in the background. Is that too much to ask??”

#845 “Went to a party and found multiple phones sitting out. I snapchatted pictures of my ass on every phone to every person that had the app.”

#587 “i smoke weed all the time in the 3rd floor group study rooms in the library, so if you ever walk into one and it smells like weed your welcome ;)”

#699 “Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr! And so did Sun Jin Dinh!”

#880 “my teacher today brought up cwu confessions in class today…everyone loved it…”

#687 “I once did a partially nude photoshoot of another girl in Library’s fourth floor bathroom.” #676 “I got my english 101 professor to buy me alcohol” #673 “I’m addicted to Pokemon porn. Sorry I’m not sorry”

Visit Central Washington Confessions

#672 “last year i walked through campus blacked out and unscrewed 3 car antennas and used them as magic wands like i was hagrid”

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WHAT DOES SAY ABOUT STUDENTS? We used comments posted by students at in an attempt to clissify the “types” of students at Central. written by

Zach Smith

Lessons are often passed down from generation to generation. Whether it’s learning about the cheapest place to grab a drink or a most-see movie, learning from someone who has “been there and done that” is never a bad thing. As college students, there’s a tool for passing down such information— Students are free to publish their experience with a professor, leaving their personal opinion as a


disclaimer for perspective students. The site is intended to inform students about an unknown teacher, but it can also tell you quite a bit about your classmates. To show just how much, here’s a quick classification of Central students as determined by comments left at


Those searching for the easy way out

“I know many that dislike the man, but if you don’t want to work hard at classes and out of class activities, why are you at school???” These are the kids who complete extra credit assignments even though they’ve already locked up an A in the class. And unless you’re one of them, they are probably making you look bad.

“The class is very easy. Open book quizzes, as well as open book midterm. The final isn’t open book, but you are allowed a one page “cheat sheet.” This student probably only took this class because he heard it was easy. This comment was also probably a deciding factor for many in this group to take this class.

Sleepy Students

(Selective) Attention Grabbers

“If you can stay awake in his class, the information is pretty simple to understand. If not then he will be tough. Overall though not too bad.” The only students in a morning class bold enough to do what everyone else wants to do—close their eyes and fall asleep. If the professor is being particularly noisy that day, you may catch these students with their heads rested on their folded arms.

“He needs to go back to being a sailboat captain, as his ensembles suggest he was in a previous lifetime.” These are the ones who focus intensely on one irrelevant detail of the class. This particular student spent their class time dissecting his professor’s nautically inspired attire.

Knowledge Hunters

Conspiracy Theorists

“The class work did consume a lot of my time, but in return, there was a lot that I learned.” These are the students who are genuinely interested in the class material. These students don’t mind doing homework because they want to know what it’s all about so they can move on to learning the next thing.

“I think his personal views of students bias his grading technique. This should have been an easy 4.0-He marks you down in whatever he can, with no real explanation.” Students in this group always think the teacher has it out for them. These students think professors have personal vendettas against them, and if it weren’t for that, they would be getting a 4.0.

The Realist

Teacher’s Pet

“If you do the reading before class as he assigns, what he goes over in class makes a lot of sense. But if you don’t, it’s easy to get lost by how he handles class time.” This is a student who knows when a class is going to have a heavy workload and is prepared to take it on. These students are also prepared to suffer the consequences behind not meeting the course requirements.

“Easily the greatest teacher I have ever had. His lectures are legitimately interesting and you learn so much. I have learned more things of worth in his classes than the rest of college combined.” This is the kid in class who is always trying to get on the teacher’s good side. You can often spot a Teacher’s Pet staying unnecessarily late after class.

Glass Half Empty Students

Students with Adjusted Priorities

“I hated her class. I did all right, but I went as little as possible. Avoid her if you can.” This student doesn’t like anything about the class: the teacher, classroom, time of the class. This person probably doesn’t even like the class going on next door.

“I saw him at Safeway one night buying a bag of craisins and a six pack of tall cans, nuff said.” These students recognize a similarity between themselves and their professor, and respect the hell out of them for it. This particular student and professor apparently share an infatuation with beer and craisins—nuff said.

Click the button to rate your professor.

Zach Smith considers himself a realist, with a tendency to look for the easy way out after procrastinating.

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Column Girls Gone Wired D

on’t you just hate fake geeks?

So I was shopping for video games last week and a girl walked by wearing a TARDIS shirt (that’s the Time and Relative Dimension in Space for you fake geeks out there). I turned to her and said, “Oh cool, I love Doctor Who!” She smiled at being spotted, “Doctor Who is the hottest British guy ever! Bowties are awesome!” Now at this moment, anyone who has much experience with Doctor Who will know that my TARDIS-buddy has made a grave error, referring to The Doctor as “Doctor Who.” She also referred to The Doctor as though he was the only one, when in fact there are currently eleven, and the individual actors are commonly referred to by their position in the series - “the Tenth Doctor”, or simply “Ten”. Additionally, she has used the famous “bowties are cool” phrase incorrectly. A self-respecting nerd would point out her mistakes and educate her in the proper Whovian parlance, right? Bullshit. What has actually occurred is I have met a newcomer to the Doctor Who nerd-dom, who has not yet experienced all of Doctor Who. She doesn’t know all the facts I know, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She hasn’t been remiss somehow in her Whovian hobby, she hasn’t insulted anyone or tried to claim superiority in any fashion. She has merely expressed excitement for her newfound love of The Doctor, and a potential shared interest with me. A self-respecting nerd would smile and share his or her own enjoyment of the series. There’s a debate raging at all levels of the interwebs: on YouTube, Twitter, Reddit


Jamie Klouse Jamie Klouse is a writer, reader, gamer, sucker for sci-fi and lifelong nerd.

- even on Facebook. The question at the heart of the debate is “What constitutes a real nerd?” Usually, this argument takes the form of hating on girls. I think it’s probably a well-established notion that “nerd” is traditionally more associated with men than women, but being a man is not a requirement. Being a nerd is simply having a zealous interest in a subculture. Traditionally, those subcultures revolve around sci-fi, fantasy, or gaming (tabletop, video games, etc.). The way society has developed, this geek culture has always had significant barriers to entry for women. Girls are expected to enjoy dressup, cooking, dolls and other generally boring things. No offense to anyone that enjoys those. I find them eye-bleedingly dull. The preservation of this bastion of male dominance has culminated in one of the most disgusting and overblown demonstrations of latent misogyny in recent history. Thousands of male-identified geeks have taken to the internets to shame women who have attempted to penetrate the inner sanctums of geek. The objection

begins with a fair premise: that people who aren’t geeks shouldn’t claim to be. The annoyance is often exemplified with companies that use women to sell products or host television shows as sexual objects (an entirely different subject that can be tackled another time). As a result, the debate focus has shifted to female geeks, instead of posers. The vitriol coming out of this debate is not dissimilar from the crap that ends up on I can’t understand this reaction at all. Geek culture makes up a massive part of my identity, and I don’t seek to be misunderstood. I love talking about geek culture and I like sharing it with friends (both geek and non-geek). I love rewatching a series with a friend who is new to the culture and attempting to suppress exclamations like, “Oh my god, I love this part,” and “This is the best part,” or “This is where it gets good.” Containing my excitement to share this culture with people is a source of massive energy, and a conduit through which I bypass my social awkwardness and meet new people. Why would anyone ever try to limit entry to the culture? If you meet someone who hasn’t reached the depth of geek that you have, before you haul off and assault them with your superior knowledge, take a deep breath. Be excited for them, be happy that you have a chance to make a new friend. Instead of acting as the evil Sorcerer of Geekaturgy, become the guru at the top of Mount Nerd. Dole out nuggets of wisdom to people laced with jargon that only the informed can understand. People will wonder at your mysterious knowledge and appreciate that you brought them in and showed them the path to their inner geek. They will be amazed at the sheer amount of knowledge you’ve managed to squeeze into your mind - a feat that could only be accomplished if it was bigger on the inside.

click here to see more Illustrations illustration by

Freedom Lee Drudge

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Body by

Pulse written by

click here for a video

Peter O’Cain Nathaniel Iven-Diemer

photographs by

Winter break equals holiday meals, which equals food comas, which equals muscle atrophy and bed sores. At least, for me it does. Or, I should say, it has in the past because being away from Ellensburg for a month means no free gym membership. To combat that this year, I did bodyweight exercises at home and I was pleased with the results. It was also nice not having to leave the house.

easy medium hard

If you don’t want to brave the weather or a crowded rec center, here are 12 calisthenics you can do in your home.


Peter O’Cain

Bench dips works:

triceps & shoulders to increase focus on shoulders, increase the distance between your lower back and your support hold






Bodyweight Squats Supermans


quads & hamstrings tip: arch your back & go below 90Ëš


lower back & glutes raise your hands & hamstrings as high as you can


1. 1. 2.


Planks works: tip:

core to make it harder, push your

elbows further from your body

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Triceps Extensions

Pike Press

works: tip:

triceps keep your elbows in

works: tip:

shoulders the higher your feet are, the harder it is




2. Hamstring Curls





hamstrings push your hips as high as you can


1. 1.




core try to your chest to your knees

Pistol Squats




hamstrings & quads lean your torso into your squatting thigh to maintain balance



abs, shoulders & triceps place your hands on elevated objects to decrease difficulty


2. 1.



2. Pseudo Planche Push-ups works:

shoulders & chest maintain a forward lean throughout the movement

Handstand Press



shoulders & triceps change hand placement to focus on different parts of the shoulders



2. 2. 1.


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n o i t i d e y a d s e ’ n i t n e val Where to Take Your Date written by

Andrew Nelson Jack Lewis

photographs by

There’s no pressure, you find each other funny, and there are plenty of “Me too!” moments. Your first date is going perfectly- until you arrive at the restaurant. During the meal, you can see your waiter eating god-knows-what in the kitchen, the romaine lettuce lacks crunch, telling you it’s been sitting in the salad container all week, your date is still waiting for her wine… and who the hell put that annoying buzzer on the door? The last thing any of us wants is a poor dining experience haunting our otherwise good time, and the quality of the food and service goes a long way. While there are certainly places to avoid, there are also lots of great choices within Ellensburg to choose from that will ensure a great night for the both of you. Listed below are three establishments that cater to a number of different needs, whether it’s a formal


dinner you’re in the mood for, or just a fun late night out with burgers and beer.

The Dakota Café: $$ “The first thing I’m looking for in a restaurant is a menu that’s well put together,” says Alexis Thomas, senior communications major. “They need to have all sorts of options available.” The Dakota Café has those options. It features a nice wooded interior, courteous staff, and local ingredients. The menu offers an array of choices, with sizeable sections for steak, pastas, and even some vegetarian options. “We make everything here from scratch and to order,” says Kelley Cook, manager at Dakota. Add to that the local wine list and you’re set for a lovely evening. “We’ve even had a couple marriage proposals here,” Cook says.


Ellensburg Pasta Co: $$ “When going out, I’m looking for somewhere nice but not overly formal,” says Derrick Henniger, bartender and manager of The Starlight Lounge. “Comfortable atmosphere is certainly key.” Ellensburg Pasta Co. tops our list for atmosphere. It’s not uncommon to hear Frank Sinatra quietly swinging in the background and the dining room is warm and inviting. Dark floors, white tablecloths, and warm ambience make for a romantic evening.

The Tav: $ “I like The Tav because it provides an environment that’s conducive to a jovial heart and a full stomach,” says Jack Lewis, senior law and justice major. If you’re looking a relaxed pub-style environment, this is the place for you. The Tav features pool tables, sports channels, lots of domestic drafts, and good old bar food. “Beer, burgers, and ball games,” says Nick White, barback at The Starlight Lounge. Family Guy pinball? They have that too.

Andrew Nelson’s day (or rather, night) job is working as a bartender at the Starlight Lounge. Someone on CWU Confessions really wants to sleep with him.

$ = cheap date

$$= big spender

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Do you want Pulse to include more sexy coeds features in future issues? Take our survey. Tell us what you think. click

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Valentine’s Day: geek style written by

Samantha Monterrey

This year, don’t break your bank buying a present for your special someone. Follow these easy steps to create a thoughtful and affordable Valentines Day gift!

Instagram Photo Strips Need: Materials Instagram Quality Paper - cardstock scissors color printer Microsoft word

1. Choose photos. Decide on a template from a photo editing program like Choose “create a new image.” Select or type “325x1600 pixels.”


Go to Login with your Instagram account name and password. Go to “My Photos” and select your pictures.


Once you have selected your photos, begin transferring them by copying and pasting to Pixlr. Save the pictures.

4. Open the pictures in a Word document. Resize images as needed.

Good Morning Geek Blog

5. Hit print! You can be creative and create a frame for them too.

Samantha Monterrey is a self-described DIY freak and wants to hear your tips. Anything that she can make out of the stuff she has at home is an instant steal. Please share @SA_Monterrey


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Stories of how Pulse broke the ice. written by

Darby Cox

Stop staring at that cute person already; they’ve definitely noticed by now and you’re freaking them out. At this point you’ve left yourself no choice: break the ice or find something else to stare at. If this situation sounds familiar, you like someone you’ve never talked to before. Making that first move is easier said than done, so we aren’t here to tell you to nut up. But the more you do it, the easier it gets, so give it the ole’ college try! Worst case scenario, you have an excuse to get drunk, or eat a pint of ice cream using a stick of butter as a spoon; possibly both. How about some testimonials to ease that braver and smoother part of you out of your shell, courtesy of PULSE staff:


Connie Morgan “Once upon a time I was really good friends with a boy. We hung out a lot but nothing ever went anywhere. We always had a lot of fun but it was strictly a friendship. One time we were hanging out, having good conversation as usual but I interrupted him and said in a very shy voice: “Parker...can I kiss you?” There was a half second silence and he quietly said: “Yes.” We shared a kiss and that was that. (:”

Colin Robinson “What do you say we grab a six-pack and go home to fuck like wild dogs?” 9 months later, meet Colin. (Small talk and dating? Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

Samantha Monterrey “When I met Shannon, I was interested in getting to know her because of her personality. She is sweet and loud and seemed like a fun girl. I approached her first at a work meeting/orientation and I was one of the newbies. Later, I began talking to Shannon in the office and we just made small talk like what are your hobbies and major? We bonded over major cause we were both PR. Just little things like that. Now we hang out and talk daily.” (Breaking the ice works for new friends too! I’m looking at you shy freshman and transfers.)

took him up on his offer. Months later, my friend ran into him at a bar and gave him my number. He contacted me that night and asked me out on a date, which I accepted.”

Shannon Lowry

(Don’t worry about location! Even when you’re sweaty and “in the zone” there’s no time like the present.)

“I was sitting at the bar alone, dangerously drunk, and said, “Hey! I think I know you!” I told him I had seen him around and we then got to talking about our major. This eventually led to, drunken me, giving him my number and him asking me to coffee the next day.”

Carli Seaman

Andrew Nelson

“One day at my old college, a guy with long hair came up to me and my friend and used this line on us, “How much does a penguin weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi I’m Pj.” He then proceeded to invite us to attend a meeting of the Table Top Gaming club because the club “needed more girls.” After a few months and many more encounters this nerdy guy who wasn’t afraid to break the ice became my boyfriend.”

“Back when I lived on the west side I was playing pool and we needed one more person. I walked over to a table of girls, grabbed one of their hands and said “you’re playing!” We actually hit it off and went out for a few months after that.”

(Aww who says pick-up lines don’t work? If they don’t laugh they don’t have a sense of humor anyway. Moving on.)

Peter O’ Cain “I stripped for a bride-to-be during her bachelorette party, one random night. (I was drunk and friends with the DJ. None of it was planned.) Shirt came over, belt came off, inappropriate touching happened, “Party in the USA” played. After the “dance,” I sat at the bar and ordered a drink and then one of the bride’s friends started chatting me up. Ice. Broken.” (Don’t try this at home.)

Nathaniel Diemer

Mende Smith

“This past summer I was at the gym working out when this cute guy came up to me and started hitting on me, asking me if I needed a spotter on the bench press. Having never been hit on in a place like the gym, I didn’t know what to do other than stare like a deer in headlights and say, “What?” He made sure to remind me often that if I needed a spotter, I should let him know, so eventually I bit and

I met my love in the front of the house of a crowded Los Angeles theatre. Seated in the very front row, the last seat on the aisle where a heavy bag hung from above. The lights went dim and there he was, the boxer. For the opening scene he had to pound his fists on the heavy bag without hitting me in the face. It was love at first not-punched-in the face.

Mikey Riggin “I went to Winegars and the girl working and I chatted for about twenty minutes until I had to go. I had to leave because I thought I had “worn out my welcome.” But I hadn’t broken the ice yet. So, I wrote a note full of emotion and feeling and dropped by the next time she worked. She was fascinated by my words of pure poetry and the Ice was broken deeply. The love letter icebreaker is a good one, but shouldn’t be the only option.”

Scott Herman My freshman year when I was trying to meet girls, my friend and I devised a plan where we would call each other’s phones on the opposite sides of a group of people we wanted to meet. We would pretend we were looking for each other before bumping into each other in the middle of our target. Hard to believe that gag worked 90 percent of the time. Now that you’ve been inspired, I’ll remind you of the perfect chance to use your newfound knowledge: Valentine’s Day! (Even if it’s just a corporate holiday, we’re all still hoping for some corporate love.) They’re waiting for you to make the first move so do it already! Darby Cox has never used butter as an ice cream spoon but she has used a Snickers bar.

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equality is just the beginning

written by


Jamie Klouse

Last November, Washington joined Maine and Maryland as the first states in the US to approve same-sex marriage by popular vote through Referendum 74, only three years after Washington’s Referendum 71 became the first popular-vote supported expansion of gay rights and one of the few such expansions of rights for minorities in American history. Between those referenda and the legalization of marijuana, most of the US thinks of Washington as a liberal haven from the Pacific to the Rockies. However, the west and east sides of the state have vastly different political climates and ideologies. This is not news to any student at Central Washington University, located in one of the more conservative counties at the heart of the state. While the city of Ellensburg is largely populated by west-side transplanted students, most are still registered to vote at their parents’ home address. Kittitas County rejected Referendum 74 by over 54 percent. In spite of the split between townies and students, CWU boasts a very large and active community supporting gender and sexual minorities (GSM). Elise and Regina May have been committed partners for over 10 years. Elise serves as the Apartment Complex Coordinator for CWU Housing and her partner Regina manages their household and two children. Neither is a stranger to living in a small town in a conservative area – three years ago, they moved to Washington from Arkansas. Like several same-sex committed couples in Ellensburg, they have been planning to marry since R-74 passed, despite the political division in the community. GSM couples face many obstacles to free expression of gender or sexual identity in the area. Both acknowledge that public displays of affection are problematic no matter where they are in Ellensburg. “I haven’t personally felt any,” Elise said, “because I came here knowing that I

was going to let them know that I have a partner and children.” While the campus remains accepting, the outlying area can present problems. “With the college it hasn’t been an issue, but it’s more like the rural areas,” Regina said. In some cases, the lack of marriage equality has produced some rather unconventional partnerships. A CWU student, who prefers to remain anonymous, shared that despite a sexual preference for and a relationship with another woman, she married a male friend that she loved. “I had always wanted children,” she said, “and although lots of people have children outside of marriage, and I wouldn’t have minded doing so myself, our parents were both happier that we were married when I got pregnant. We were able to rent a nice house together.” Their parents are not aware of her sexual preferences. “My husband knew about everything from the beginning,” she said, “and he didn’t mind my interest in women. But it was very difficult. After a while, we weren’t just having sex anymore, but a relationship, even though we were both already in relationships, and we had a child, as well.” On a daily basis, she is forced to juggle her family life and her sexual identity. Her husband does not mind that she maintains an extra-marital relationship with a woman, but it has strained their marriage. “It was hard to keep my lives separate,” she said. “I also got jealous. We could never spend the night together or wake up next to each other, and it was hard to find time to spend with each other outside of work and family. I managed for a while, though, and my husband was very understanding, and tried to give us time to be together. But when I couldn’t see her for a while, or we had an argument, my sadness leaked

over into my ‘main’ life, and I wasn’t as available as I should have been to my husband and child.” She has since ended her extra-marital relationship. “I don’t think I could ever be involved in two relationships at once again,” she said. “I didn’t want to deny the part of me that was attracted to girls […], but I’m already married, and I love my husband.” Her commitment to her family is more important than her sexual preferences, “I owe it to him to focus on our marriage,” she said, “because when I married him, I committed to do so. In a perfect world, I could have two committed relationships at once, and everything would go wonderfully. But in the end, it was too difficult for me.” Not abandoning her sexual identity, she added, “If my first marriage doesn’t work out, then I can see myself marrying a woman. If I ever have another relationship, I don’t think it will be with a man.” So while Washington has taken one step toward equality, there are still many steps to be taken in the journey to total equality and freedom of expression. “Until there is no more discrimination, ever, against anybody, equality will always be an issue,” Regina May said. “It’s all part of the same issue. Diversity needs to be nurtured, cultivated and protected.”

Jamie Klouse is a Senior Writing Specialization major in the English Dept., and as a member of the LGBT community, has an interest in equality for all.

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on air 34 written by Colin Robinson photographs by

Mende Smith


The DJs say they get a euphoric natural high every time they flip the switch and go live on 88.1 The Burg. “You walk around the studio, put on your head phones, you pod up the mic, and it’s just… yeah, bliss from there,” says Ashley Degon, an English writing specialization major, whose on-air name is “Side the Kid.” Volunteer opportunities at The Burg are abundant. With typically around 40 volunteer DJs, The Burg is currently under staffed with less than 30. “We’re actually needing to bulk up the ranks again a little bit and get more people trained and up to speed,” says general manager Chris Hull. Student volunteer DJs gain valuable experience they can take and apply directly into the real world. “Volunteering isn’t for everyone, but everyone can get something out of it,” says “Jane Doe” Amanda Hodgins, a psychology major.

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88.1 The Burg DJ Profiles

ashley degon

// Sid the Kid

Disc Jockey age 23 grade Senior major English - Writing Specialization from Spanaway, WA show “The Sandbox” Tuesdays 1- 3 pm title

Ashley Degon plays an alternative music show blending the grunge of the 90s with contemporary hits of today and she paints a hectic picture of being in the studio: multi-tasking and thinking ahead are a constant. Her first show was a disaster. “Everything that could have went wrong basically did except I didn’t break any FCC violations,” says Degon. Luckily a trainer always sits in with you on your first show, she says. Degon’s dream is to be a copy editor although working at an alternative station like Seattle’s 107.7 The End would suffice.

lauren rice

// RiceKrispy

Disc Jockey age 22 grade Senior major Social Services // Women’s Studies minor from Edmunds, WA show “Northwest Breakfast” Thursdays 8- 10 am

// Random D

Disc Jockey age 21 grade Junior major Theater Performance from Yakima, WA show “Random Riot with Nick Riot and Random D” Saturdays 8- 11 pm title

In her fourth year with The Burg, the boisterous Rice is a veteran. She describes her first show as very awkward. “It takes you a while to really find your voice on the radio,” Rice says.

With a primary interest in voice acting, Drew Gibbs originally didn’t sign up for the music, but for doing promotions and commercials. They told him he’d have to be a full-fledged DJ in order to even do those things, so he didn’t hesitate to sign up.

It didn’t take long however for her to find what she calls the sweet spot and figure out she’s a big showboat, enjoying being the center of attention as much as she can. Her show, “Northwest Breakfast,” features hip-hop from artists based between Portland and Vancouver, B.C. The two hours a week she’s on air RiceKrispy calls a great outlet, describing it as her own artistic form to “show the world here’s my show, here’s the music I love, listen and enjoy.”


drew gibbs


After becoming comfortable doing both voice promos and being on air, Gibbs has turned his attention to the music he plays. A former member that helped with his training challenged him to search through albums for “deep cuts” and not to play the same stuff over and over again. In the future, becoming a successful voice actor remains Gibb’s primary ambition, however he is glad to have radio as a fallback. “The most important thing with radio and really anything that you want to do with your college experience is remember that although there is a lot of work involved the important thing is to have fun with what you’re doing,” Gibbs says.

// Nick Riot

Disc Jockey & Core Staff Assistant age 24 grade Senior major Broadcast Journalism from Ellensburg, WA show “Random Riot with Nick Riot and Random D” Saturdays 8- 11 pm title

Ellensburg’s own Nick Snyder was singing karaoke at 301 the night he met Kurt Oberloh, IT Broadcast Technician for The Burg. Snyder expressed interest in being on the radio, started training three days later, and completed training in only three weeks. Snyder shares a show with Drew Gibbs as the only co-hosted late night show on The Burg. Despite being a self-proclaimed introvert, something electric happens when he gets on air. “If you hand me a mic I have something to say,” Snyder says. As a volunteer Nick Riot played many different roles from helping with promotions, training, getting show sponsors, marketing, even being “Burg Man,” the station’s mascot. “It’s so cool. Whatever you want to do here you have that opportunity,” he says.

amanda hodgins

// Jane Doe

Disc Jockey & Student Training Coordinator age 21 grade Senior major Psychology from Covington, WA show “The Pink Mic” Tuesdays 10 am12 pm title

Airing a feminist based show, Amanda Hodgins plays only female fronted rock bands while bringing the latest in feminist news. Now a senior, Hodgins completed her training nearly four years ago. “You learn to think on your feet,” she says about being on air. “It’s really awkward at first ... There’s nobody in front of me but I’m speaking to somebody,” Hodgins says. Seeing the self-confidence people build while becoming a DJ is the best part to Jane. From her two years as Student Training Coordinator, Jane Doe has found a passion for management: something she may have never known if she hadn’t of started at The Burg. Last year Hodgins shared Employee of the Year honors with marketing director Connie Morgan, an accomplishment she’s very proud of.

photo provided by Rose Washburg

photo provided by Amanda Hodgins

nick snyder

rose washburg

// Rosie the


Disc Jockey & Trainer 22 grade Senior major Communications Studies from West Seattle, WA title


Currently, Rose Washburn doesn’t have a show, but she’s fine with solely training because that’s all her schedule will allow. Her freshman year she shared the Most Promising Rookie Award with Cody Spencer; only to top herself sophomore year with top honors: Best On Air Personality. For Washburn it was the first realization that she was really good at something. Last summer she landed an internship with the radio promotions department of Fisher Communications in Seattle. Washburn credits her experience at The Burg for getting the internship so easily. After Central, Washburn wants to work in radio promotions or social media at a communications company in Seattle.

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photo provided by Colleen Carroll

colleen carroll

// Holly


title Disc Jockey & Music Programming Coordinator age 23 grade Senior major Communication Studies from Colfax, WA show “Eggs, Back, and Rock and Roll” Wednesdays 8- 10 am

Another fourth year veteran, Colleen Carroll brings a mix of different genres: playing electronica, pop, and a little hip hop, although she prefers rock and Indie. Introducing new music to people is Holly’s favorite part of her work. This is convenient considering she’s the music programming coordinator for the station. She filters and labels all the new music that comes in and keeps relationships with promotion and record companies while ensuring DJs are playing the proper music. When Holly got started she didn’t know anything about radio at all, but “now I know how the music and radio industries work.” Thanks to her position, Holly works closely with record companies, giving her privileged insights into the music industry. Post Central, Carroll says she’s flexible, but wouldn’t mind working for a record company or starting her own business.


scott kezmi

// Captain Obvious

Disc Jockey & Office and Programming Associate age 19 grade Sophomore major Public Relations from Snohomish, WA show “A Radio Show” Mondays days 8- 10 am title

Scott Kezmi describes his show as an, “Indie alternative Monday morning mash-up type thing.” Originally a music education major, he realized music was more of a hobby. He says he made the switch to communications for because he likes to talk to people. Finding The Burg through a tabling effort on campus, Kezmi signed up and completed his training about two and a half months later; a process he says he loved and describes as, “a lot of fun.” The want for Kezmi to enter radio started when he was in high school. While playing songs over the PA speakers at his church, a friend suggested he should have his own radio show, to which he replied, “that actually sounds like a pretty cool idea.” Being on air is exhilarating to Kezmi. He says being able to reach so many people throughout the Kittitas Valley is, “awe inspiring.” He explains being on air as, “this rush that you never really get out of anything else.”

tom sample

// The Mountain Man

Disc Jockey age 21 grade Junior major Communication Studies from Gig Harbor, WA show “Mt. St. Classic Metal” Saturdays 10 am- 12 pm title

Tom Sample earned his current time slot through persistence. Last year his show was Tuesdays from 10 p.m. to midnight, a time slot he describes as the “bottom of the barrel,” but he stuck with it. Sample gets a good feeling whenever he receives calls from listeners in the community. “At first it’s pretty heart racing,” he says about being on air. Sample says there are several reasons to volunteer. For instance, it gets you in the broadcasting mindset, from the music, to the technical and engineering aspects. Next year, The Mountain Man plans on returning simply because he likes it so much. After Central he would like to stick with broadcasting whether it be in radio or television, working with production, or being an on air talent.

LEARN MORE: chris hull

General Manager 40 class of 1996 degree B.A. Arts and Music from Ellensburg, WA title


Hull has been a radio nut all his life. When he was only nine he discovered KFI 640 AM in Los Angeles while listening at home one night in Walla Walla, WA. He started volunteering at The Burg as a sophomore in the fall of 1992, became student manager in summer of 1995, was hired as temporary manager fall of 1996, and has been there ever since. Although he claims radio might not be his final pursuit, he says without elaborating, “I’ve got other things to do.” A Washington state resident for nearly his entire life, he feels a connection to the area. Hull is married with two children.

NEWSWATCH If you’ve ever dreamed of a career in Broadcast Journalism, please talk to Professor Robert Fordan about how you can get involved in NewsWatch.

COM 442 Student-led news team dedicated to sharing stories that impact Kittitas County.

Follow Colin Robinson on Twitter @ rusty__nailer (that’s TWO underscores, mind you).

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Delondra Williams

Zombie Girl Rises: 10 years after CWU written by

Mende Smith

For many people, being at the top of your game means having a downtown office or a fast car. But if you’re Delondra Williams, Central Alum 2004, and the game is a working life after college, you know you’ve made it when every day you’re surrounded by hordes of bloodthirsty ‘walkers’—you are writing on demand Scenes of guts, gore and, undead babies—opportunity knock with a zombie’s fist.

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rom Williams’ desk, she churns out popular undead dramatics along with successful stage plays. Her newest claim to fame, 2012 TV movie, Rise of the Zombies (ROTZ) starred Mariel Hemingway, LeVar Burton, and B film legend Danny Trejo. Her newest venture, Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gators, will air on The SyFy Channel later this year. The acting-focused theatre arts-turned costume-design student plotted her rise from Washington’s Mattawan plains to Central’s theatre department in 2000. Williams chose CWU first for its proximity from home, and she says, came to find so much more. “At Central, if you are really willing to do the work than you can pretty much do anything you want,” Williams says, “Very few programs can offer that. It really helped me to find my own way and figure out what I needed to truly develop my skills.”


Inside the brick theatre building was a hands-on extempore of practical and experimental theatre. At Central, Williams learned that honing acting skills is just the beginning of the mastery that is dramatic arts. “Whoever goes into theatre always starts out wanting to be an actor, that is the glamorous choice,” Williams says. “And once you get a ways into your program, well, that is when it changes, I just couldn’t see myself living that lifestyle—it is a really hard life being an actor.” Instead, she married one. Her husband, Nicholas Williams produced her first play, Skeleton Stories, at Los Angeles ensemble group Theatre of NOTE, and their collaboration was a ‘Screaming success’. Today, Williams concentrates more on her writing skills. She recalls finding her “Own voice on the page” in Lesley Van

Tassel’s playwriting classes at CWU in 2003. She put those skills to use with her self-admitted passion project, Skeleton Stories— A play about Dia de los Muertos, when a teenage girl named Maya explores the underworld in search of her dead mother. She meets a variety of  characters that tell the stories of their lives and deaths. Their stories shadow Maya’s own journey from this life to the afterlife, from girl to woman, from caterpillar to butterfly. Michelle Gardner, ensemble member, comments on the work shopping efforts that paid off in the spooky rendition of Williams’ first NOTE play. “Delondra provided this wonderful foundation and ‘NOTEworthy’ kind of helped lift it up to the next level and it’s really grown from there.” Williams credits the “soft, quirkiness and

cheesiness” that her undergraduate theatre experience gave her. Williams was thrilled to see the play she conceived in Central Washington came to life in Los Angeles. “When [current CWU theatre department chair] Scott Robinson came down to see the play, I said, ‘look, Scott, this has Central written all over it’. Skeleton Stories has a big puppet and children’s theatre focus, influenced by the lighting design—I never took lighting design— but here at Central, I learned how to do what worked,” Williams says. “I really did Skeleton Stories in honor of my teachers, and I still wish that Paulette Swanson, my late, great make up department mentor, could have seen it too.” Williams says. Her work on the set and on the stage is secondary, she says, to her family. Williams gave birth to her first son, Jude, last year, welcoming the opportunity to be a mom in a way that she had never dreamed. Postgraduate projects have enriched Williams’ life in and out of her native Mattawa, despite her move to the big city. She has just begun writing next year’s zombie movie for SyFy, so far named Zombie Night. “My last play, Desert Aria, was the tenminute play set in Desert Aire, Washington [20 minutes from Ellensburg]. It was part of Theatre of NOTE’s Pity of Things main stage shows that celebrated the theatre’s 30th year in 2011. That’s the one I’m going to make a full-length of when I get a break from writing teleplays,” Williams says. William’s next SyFy Original movie, Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gators, finished filming in Louisiana and is currently in postproduction. Only second to the fun of Google searching how long it takes for an alligator’s body to decompose in a swamp was writing the B movie teleplay itself.

click click

“The small screen isn’t just for newcomers anymore; now networks and cable channels have been offering screenwriters some of the zaniest projects—and some can be career-making,” Williams says, “its

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like Romeo and Juliet with mutant Cajun gators, it is great, great fun.” Williams reminds us that that television has become a democracy for the past decade and, small time IS big time. “If you want to do art, you take it to the stage. If you want to get paid, you write about zombies.” Rise of the Zombies, cowritten by Williams aired in fall of 2012 on the SyFy Channel. It comes to DVD just in time for Valentine’s Day. “You do your best to keep a sense of humor and you have to kind of laugh and not take it too seriously, the work is good, and the pay is good. The rest is just what it is and you try to have fun,” Williams says. Today, Williams is celebrating the excitement of an L.A writer’s life, teamed with all of the crafting tools and imagination found in her costumer’s kit, but this time she doesn’t paint on the actors—she paints the canvas that the actors find on script. Her twist-to-theplotline writing style brings accolades to the original movie series films streaming the Internet in the wake of the SyFy Channel’s successors— branding bad movies to newer generations. Popular Horror film Reviewer at gives ROTZ’s writers a glowing review: ‘Zombie fans,  Syfy Original Movie fans, and all those looking for a show to watch on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, definitely check this out. I like the Original Movies, they’re fun. This one, though, has some genuinely OH MY GOD DID THEY REALLY DO THAT? Moments that definitely make it worth a look.” All in good fun, Williams is glowing a little bit brighter these days. “This year has been the best of my life so far,” Williams says. “ I knew that I wanted to be a writer and I knew that I wanted to be a mom. And I am actually both of those things now. I have a wonderful man who I can do work with, and I am actually a pretty good mom.” Mende Smith writes columns, articles, and features for publications in English, but her Poetics are published on five continents and translated into languages she cannot even read.

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Vest $10 Fur Coat $45 @ The Foundry Styled by Megan West Model Jerrod Maples The fun side of The Foundry. Their “Man Land� section is full of accessories for men such as bowties, belts, suspenders and vests like the one here.



Can we take you

thrift shopping? written by

Connie Morgan Mende Smith

photographs by

Now that the Macklemore song “Thrift Shop” has become a number-one hit single in the US, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, it’s time to embrace the lifestyle. Thrift shopping hasn’t always been as popular or as glamourous as it is today, but for many students, thrift shopping can be a stylish and economic success. Ellensburg has a wide variety of thrifty options, despite being located in such a small town. Fully equipped with a Goodwill and other second-hand stores, local selection is not limited when it comes to smart and fashionable spending. Apparel, textiles and merchandising majors Cassie Lewis and Megan West helped explore the thrift shops options in Ellensburg. Lewis and West were sent to three local thrift stores—The Foundry, Pink with Envy and Goodwill—with the task of coming up with trendy outfits for less at each stop. At the end of the day, Lewis and West critiqued each store based on clothing options, atmosphere and overall impressions.

The Foundry was first on the list of stops and proved to be a valuable site for those looking for the vintage and unique. Owned and operated by Linda Kapoi since November of 2011, The Foundry features clothing for both men and women, along with barware, toys, books, sewing items and other used knick-knacks. Most of The Foundry’s business comes from the college population and store credit is offered for students. This means students can bring in an old outfit and trade it for a new outfit. Kapoi sees her store as having the potential to be a community focal point. “Networking could bring a community together,” Kapoi said. The Foundry is an excellent source for anything vintage, as well as themed parties. Kapoi mentioned that folks have come in and bought clothes for Downton Abbey and Mad Men-themed parties. The Foundry also sells a lot of hats, ties and headbands. Lewis and West put these strengths to use in their chosen outfits.

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Scarf $5 Shirt $8 Jacket $12 Total $25 @ The Foundry Styled by Megan West The Foundry also has a wide variety of used and collectible books, making it perfect for recreating nostalgic moments.

The Foundry 312 n pine street Pros Large Variety of items from clothes to housewares. Very strong vintage selection. Is a great choice if you want the traditional thrift store experience. Great choice for costumes Large selection of men’s dress shirts Large selection of men’s accessories (hats, bowties, suspenders, belts, scarves, hats) 20% discount for all CWU students with I.D. Student credit program

Cons Beginning thrifters may be intimidated by the explosion of items throughout the store. Layout is a little strange and can make certain items harder to find. Limited in sizing options, men’s clothing tended to be either small or extra large.

Coat $45 Hat $8 Total $53 @ The Foundry Syled by Megan West A look straight from the “Thrift Shop” music video, our model ended up walking out of the store with the fur coat. A purchase he just couldn’t pass up.

Black Blazer $18 Peach Blouse $4 Total $22 @ The Foundry Styled by Cassie Lewis Model Shelby Bodily This softer look would be great for a dinner date or going to class. An outfit you could wear to an interview or just around town. Dress it up with slacks, or dress it down with jeans.


Leather Jacket $18 Leather Vest $8 Jeans $5 Bangles $3 Total $34 @ The Foundry Styled by Cassie Lewis An outfit for a Friday night or a Grease-themed party. This leather jacket was complete with shoulder pads for the true vintage feel.

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Pink With Envy was the second stop. The store is supplied by “Drop-in Runs” anyone can stop in, drop off slightly-used clothing that will then be sorted by staff. If the store likes any of the clothing they will offer a price for it.

Pink with Envy 411 n pine street

Pink With Envy, which will celebrate its two-year anniversary on Valentine’s Day is modeled after Plato’s Closet, the popular chain of lightly used clothing shops. At first glance, one may not even realize it is a used clothing store. A chandelier hangs from the ceiling and a sparkly theme can be seen throughout the shop in the lighting and shiny lettering on the walls.

Large selection of jeans and pants

Owner Kathy Mandelas lists jeans and dresses as the most popular items. Unlike some other clothing stores, thrift or not, Pink with Envy’s selection doesn’t change with the season. Mandelas wants to make sure shoppers can find the summer dress for the Caribbean cruise even in the month of January.

Small jewelry selection

Pros Great for beginning thrifters Bright lighting, great dressing rooms

Large selection of short dresses Large shoe selection

Cons No men’s options No vintage

West was able to utilize Pink with Envy’s strength in girly tops and large pant selection with flirty fun outfits. One major downside to Pink with Envy is that they currently do not sell any men’s clothing. Mandelas says men’s clothing is something they have considered but as of right now, men’s items will not be coming to the store anytime soon.

Dress $15 Necklace $5 Purse $6 Total $26 @ Pink With Envy Styled by Megan West This look could be for strolling through Pike Place Market or going out on the weekend. Pink with Envy stocks jewelry and purses that were used to compliment the look.

Purple Pants $16.75 Shoes $14.00 Total $30.75


Black Shirt $9 Black Shoes $15 Leopard Pants $15 Total $39 @ Pink with Envy Designer & model Cassie Lewis Purple Pants $16.75 Leather Jacket $45 Sparkly Top $7.50 Shoes $14 Total $69.25 @ Pink with Envy Styled by Megan West

Blue jeans can get boring, so Pink with Envy’s remedy is to help show off your flirty side with purple and leopard pants. Pair loud pants with solid colored tops so your look is fun but still serious.

Click for Macklemore Thrift Shop pulse|| 51

Shirt $3.99 Shoes $5.99 White Pants $5.99 Bracelets $1.99 Total $17.96 @ Goodwill Styled by Cassie Lewis Many students may find they don’t have professional clothing for interviews and class presentations. With an abundance of dress pants and tops, Goodwill can be your savior.


Goodwill, which supplies more than just clothing and has a wide variety of options in all departments, was the last stop of the day. Retail supervisor Sherrie Miller says everything they sell is equally popular.

Goodwill 400 w washington ave

“People come from all around to shop at our store,” she says.

They are very picky about what goes on the floor

“I’ve seen amazing things come in,” says Assistant Manager Erik Knutson. “Everything from brand new skis with the price tag to 42 inch flat screen TVs.” Not many get to look in the stock rooms of Goodwill, so it isn’t well-known that their warehouses in Selah and Tacoma contain over 14,000 Gaylords (Large cardboard boxes) full of merchandise. When local drop-offs start to dwindle in the winter months the Ellensburg Goodwill restocks their shelves with the items stored there. They also recycle metals, plastics, computers, TVs and Computer parts they are unable to sell on the floor. West and Lewis were able to clothe the models in a variety of fashionable outfits ranging from casual to professional thanks to Goodwill’s large selection.

Pros They have a little bit of everything

May be the nicest Goodwill in the valley Very friendly staff Large men’s pants selection Large T-shirt selection

Cons Tends To get picked over quickly Harder to find name brands Shoes are a little more worn Vintage is harder to find then smaller thrift shops

Connie Morgan has gone through 4 punch cards at Plato’s Closet. Yeah, she likes thrift shopping. Twitter @conniemmorgan

At the end of the day, it was clear that each store had its own strengths and weaknesses. The Foundry appears to be the best for vintage and more colorful pieces though at times it lacks in size options especially for men’s clothing. Pink With Envy is a great start for those who may feel uneasy about buying used clothing, but unfortunately does not offer any men’s options. Goodwill is full of variety, making it arguably one of the cleanest and wellkept thrift shop chain stores in the valley.

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Black Hat 99¢ White Shirt $1.99 Black Leather Jacket $10.99 Jeans $5.99 Total $19.96 @ Goodwill Styled by: Megan West Casual cool is easy to find at Goodwill. The whole look uses Goodwill merch. Imagine being able to dress yourself for under 20 dollars!


Blue Hoodie $4.99 Shirt $3.99 Black Pants $5.99 Total $14.97 @ Goodwill Styled by Megan West


Many students find themselves going to Goodwill merely for costumes and themed parties. Goodwill can also be your go-to for everything casual.

Cassie Lewis Senior Apparel Textiles and Merchandising major, Apparel Design minor

Megan West Senior Apparel, Textiles, and Merchandising major, Apparel Design and Retail Management minor

Where do you find influence?

What do you want to do after graduation?

The royal wedding, Pinterest, and I am a total Hollywood junkie. I love the Kardashians—they are my style icons right now. I also like to go a little vintage and this is where thrifting comes into my wardrobe.

I would love to work in a small boutique. Hopefully I will own my own boutique with half-retail and half-custom-order dresses.

How would you describe your style?

Classy with a twist. Dress it up for every day!

Very easy style, I’m not primped all the time or blinged out. I’m a cardigan-aholic. I have enough scarves for each day of the month!

What Advice would you give to thrift shoppers?

Experiment and keep an open mind. It’s different when there are no mannequins. Try stuff on even if it looks weird on the hanger. Thrift pieces are conversation piece[s] in your wardrobe. Don’t be afraid to try something really crazy if you really like it.

Keep an open eye. You can’t always shop for a specific item. The possibilities are endless. You can find something brand new or something 60 years old that has come back into style.

What are some items of clothing you think everyone should have in the closet?

Girls: Black pencil skirt, dark wash jeans, great heels, great flats. Men: Dark wash jeans and button up shirt.

Girls: Scarves of different colors and prints. They can dress up an outfit or make it cozier. You can pair with dress pants and a blazer or yoga pants Men: A nice jacket, like peacoat. Shows you are serious and professional.

What are easy items to get at the thrift store?

Costumes! Jewelry, especially if you like vintage.

Accessories, old jewelry, always check the jewelry because there are some real hidden gems in there

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Happiness in a Cup written by

Mikey Riggin

Second to water, tea is the most commonly consumed beverage in the world. There is versatility to it that few drinks can match. Iced and warm teas, medicinal and aromatic teas, the list goes on and on. There are even specific teas for different occasions.

The health benefits of tea also outweigh those of coffee, with no reported “crash” later.

which will help your body metabolize fat better and the L-theanine, tea natural ingredient, will ease and relax.

“Typically the amount of caffeine in tea won’t cause harm because it’s more diluted,” says Bennett.

Tea and Healthy Digestion

“I drink tea for its flavor, with no caffeine, so it doesn’t keep me awake at night,” says Virginia Bennett, assistant professor in Food Science and Nutrition.

Tea and Stress

Green teas are the most popular, says Mark Hall, general manager of Beem’s Nutrition in Yakima. “Green tea contains the amino acid L-theanine and has a heightened antioxidant level.”

Teas to Energize Black tea contains L-theanine, which puts you in a relaxed, but still alert, state of mind. Yerba mate is made from South American tealeaves and has twice the antioxidants of green tea and, according to, one cup of it contains the equivalent of half a cup of coffee.


There are many types of teas that are used for stress and anxiety relief, such as Ginseng, Lavender, and Catnip. These teas help to bring the stress-relieving hormones to normal levels.

There are also specific teas used for organ cleansing, such as dandelion tea, which supports liver function; ginger tea, which has anti-nausea properties; and chamomile tea, which eases gastrointestinal discomfort.

Weight-Loss Teas There are some teas specifically meant for fighting obesity, such as Puh-erh Tea. There’s an active ingredient in Pu-erh tea that shrinks fat tissue, says Bryce Wylde, tea expert and alternative medicine host on the Dr. Oz Show. Drinking white tea after meals can prevent the fat storage of your lunch or dinner, says Wylde. White tea contains EGCG,

Mikey Riggin likes green tea because the antioxidants it contains help you live longer, and who doesn’t want that? Find him on Facebook at mikey.riggin


Juicy Fruit

Vampire’s Blood


martinis story and photographs by

Shannon Lowry

Winter quarter is the worst; walking to class is like skating on an ice rink, and getting up early for a class is a joke. Motivation seems hard to find when the sun isn’t shining, so sometimes it’s nice to sit back and relax with a nice strong drink (or three). This weekend, try something tasty and alcoholic. Pulse found a few student-made recipes, as well as a couple that you’ll find out about town, for those classy college drinkers out there.

Silk Sheet

Gummy Bear

Apple Pie

Juicy Fruit

Silk Sheet

1 oz vodka ½ oz peach schnapps ½ oz melon liqueur Fill the rest of the glass with pineapple juice

1 oz. Chambord 1 oz. White Chocolate Liqueur 1 oz. Tequila

Provided by the Starlight Lounge staff

Apple Pie 1 gal apple cider 1 gal apple juice 6 cinnamon sticks 1 ½ cups white sugar 1 bottle (1 liter) 190 proof Everclear Pour the apple cider, apple juice, cinnamon sticks and sugar into a large pot. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and remove cinnamon sticks (these can either be saved for garnishes or thrown away). Allow the mix to cool to room temperature, and then stir in the Everclear. Lana Abuhudra, Senior Business/ Psychology Major

Provided by the Starlight Lounge staff

Gummy Bear 2 oz vodka 1 oz raspberry schnapps Gummy bears (for garnish) Krista LaComb, Senior Sociology major

Vampire’s Blood 2 oz rum 7oz cranberry juice 5 oz pineapple juice 1 oz grenadine syrup -Alexander Lacey, Psychology & Spanish Major

Shannon Lowry’s favorite drink is a Red Bull, orange juice and cheap vodka.

Do you have a recipe for a Pulse Martini? email it to us a pulse|| 57

n O e v a R d n a m l a C p Kee written by

Samantha Monterrey

photographs courtesy of


Wrong. This is 2013, and it is a whole new culture of ravers. Keep Calm and look closely at the rooftop and the basement beat box thump-pump dance-bum lo-fi electric metronome. For today’s ravers it is all about the love, and the ever-loving beat, not the drugs.

This Ain’t Your Mama’s Rave… But according to a CBS News report, modern rave culture is as commercial as Gaga’s latest lipstick flavor. Cutting edge Marketers, PR staffers and local event planners work to pump up the hype for the house far from the shadows. These raves are hosted in public facilities and controlled environments. It is a whole different kind of party than the kinds our parents would have attended.

Raves have the common misconception as massive gatherings full of loud music and drugged-up teenagers. Hollywood often portrays rave-goers as hallucinating while dancing in “I was just beginning circles and sucking to discover EDM Sure There Are a pacifiers and [electronic dance Few Strange… swirling glow sticks. music] and the So how much rave atmosphere is Although Ecstasy and love is too much not comparable to other illicit drugs have love? Imagine the anything else.” been so embedded into experience with no the rave scene since memory in the early hours of dawn— its inception, most rave-goers agree they maybe it was that last daydream flicker of aren’t in it for the drugs. Raves have a MTV history spinning your dreams into culture unlike any dance scene out there. that building decked in a lavish display of laser lights and neon? For Cheryl,* the music is what initially drew her in. That, and the outfits, which Once considered an underground she describes as “too fun.” phenomenon, the rave culture was born in the early 80s with a paranoid heart“It really is a different experience for pounding beat. The term “rave” was everyone there, but I really love losing used to describe an all night party in an myself in the music,” she says. “I was just abandoned warehouse. Inside the mistybeginning to discover EDM [electronic windows were live DJs turning the latest dance music] and the rave atmosphere is tracks of electronica and house music.

Pounding techno, phat pants, pacifiers, and.... lots of Ecstasy (You got to set them up for the right experience) Set them up kid, with the four things a high def party can’t go without, right?


According to Cheryl, everyone has a different character. Big raves like Freaknight are a little different than the underground scene. When the thrill of Mardi Gras meets LCD Soundsystem,… the on repeat beat can swallow you whole with feathers.

The Pacific Northwest is host to many raves throughout the year. Anything from Paradiso to Freaknight, each so different they are difficult to compare. “There are so many styles of EDM, there are a few different rave scenes,” Cheryl says. “Some hardcore ravers stick to the underground scene and would never go to a production like Freaknight or Resolution like USC promotes.”

not comparable to anything else.”

“I’d say that a rave is “Find a genre of a giant party, glued Things can be a music that you together by the love little weird for first really like and of a filthy beat,” timers. When people follow the artists.” Cheryl says. “I’m not don’t know what going to support or to expect, the first deny any clichés about experience could be outfits or drugs... A overwhelming. It can rave is a concert, foremost, but this ain’t be difficult to tell where a good rave is, too, Beethoven, mama, you have to dance for so Cheryl suggests following the music. the DJ.” “Find a genre of music that you really like and follow the artists,” she says. The Harry,* whose first rave was a Paradiso Stranger lists monthly events, and there’s event, says that he got into the scene a Nightlife forum online, but unless you because he loves EDM and his two best know what you’re looking for, it can be hitfriends told him, “the only true way to or-miss. experience EDM was to go to a rave.” An EDM fanatic, he thinks raves are amazing. “Everything from feeling connected to Samantha Monterrey loves to hear about people’s crazy, raved-out nights. Tell her the thousands of people to the thudding something she hasn’t heard of the bass in your ears, its just perfect,” @SA_Monterrey he says.

If you’re interested in Raving check out this USC Rave coming up soon: Lukcy 2012 // March 16 // 7:30 pm - 3:30 am // 18+/21+ USC & Digital Innovators // WAMU Theatre Seattle, WA

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S ober S isters written by

Darby Cox

“You drunk bitch.” I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone thinks my name is Thursday through Saturday night. And as much as I pride myself on my ability to treat my body like a walking flask, every once in a blue moon I just can’t do it. I drank myself into a forced break. Sounds like a good time to get a hobby…whatever those are. But what, pray tell, is there to do in this college town after 8pm that will have me up at a decent time the next morning? As part of a sober experiment, Our PULSE Editors decided to spend a weeknight on the wagon, the #PulseWagon that is. And, being the Rogue Journalists that they are captured it in all its sober glory on Twitter. Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete Reporting on a leadership course for a class, trying not to make sarcastic comments. #PulseWagon #PulseWagon mende smith mende smith @msmendesmith #pulsewagon ho hum empty glass... Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer Operation #PulseWagon begins! Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer 5:00 pm. I’m lying on my bed trying to figure out what I should do for the next hour until class starts. #PulseWagon

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer “@OMGFactsSex: The world’s strongest vagina can lift 33 pounds (15 kg).” UHM. Wut. #PulseWagon mende smith @msmendesmith

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer Apparently, Montrealians are better at emulating the Jersey Shore look/lifestyle than ppl from Jersey. I need a drink. Oh wait. #PulseWagon Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete Crickets have #PulseWagon



Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer NO!!!! “@OnTheRedCarpet: Ron Jeremy, 59, has surgery after suffering aneurysm near heart” #PulseWagon

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer Having in-depth text convos w/ friends about NSFW things using hot dogs and condiments as metaphors ftw #imsomature #PulseWagon

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete We just did a group activity. I wish I’d died 20 minutes ago. #PulseWagon Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete Aaaannnddd we have a Hitler reference. Drink. #PulseWagon mende smith @msmendesmith @ManBearPete #PulseWagon sarcasm makes sobriety more tolerable. Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer


Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer @msmendesmith omfg #PulseWagon


#PulseWagon here we go.

#PulseWagon its gonna be a loooong night,people. mende smith

@NathanielDiemer#PulseWagon MONTREAL-IAN SHORE PIC VIA FLICKR mende smith

All my facebook friends are talking about some kinda earthquake and I’m just like :| #PulseWagon

#PulseWagon well how do you like that???? Its EXCRUCIATING. http://pic. mende smith mende smith @msmendesmith @NathanielDiemer #PulseWagon I just looked at my ex-husband’s pics on Facebook. God help my sober mind. mende smith @msmendesmith @NathanielDiemer #PulseWagon OK so my mom just called and asked if I wanted to go to #macdonalds with her to get #fastfood and I said yes :/

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

@msmendesmith I just got to class and apparently there’s a quiz that I didn’t know about. #goddammit #PulseWagon

Be gentle, Taco Bell. #PulseWagon

Having text convos with three ppl and 3 twitter convos and one real life convo my brain is overloading #PulseWagon

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete

Nothing like an awkward presentation to make you want to drown yourself in whiskey BUT NOT 2NITE BCUZ KEWL KIDZ DONT DRINK!!1! #PulseWagon Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer @msmendesmith I forgot to #PulseWagon that last tweet so I’ll do it twice here #PulseWagon

One half of the Wet Bandits on Workaholics tonight. Where is Macaulay Culkin? #PulseWagon @ManBearPete #PulseWagon If it is on my own plate is it still fast food? http://pic. mende smith Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

@msmendesmith wait who is that #PulseWagon

I forgot to apologize in advance for flooding my followers’ twitter feeds with all this #PulseWagon stuff it’s for class I swear. & for fun.

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer TEST AND CLASS ARE CANCELED YES #PulseWagon Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer ...This class just turned into that scene from “Wet Hot American Summer” where the kids have to comfort Molly Shannon. #awkward #PulseWagon

RT @ManBearPete: Be gentle, Taco Bell. #PulseWagon

@msmendesmith well class got canceled so its cool but now I have 90 mins to kill #PulseWagon

mende smith @msmendesmith

mende smith @msmendesmith

@msmendesmith#PulseWagon impressed yet?

@ManBearPete So this is how the sober people eat? #PulseWagon

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer @ManBearPete@msmendesmith #thatsbetter #PulseWagon Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD is a stupid name. DIE HHHHHAAAARRRRRRRDDD would’ve been way better. #PulseWagon Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete

#PulseWagon #enlightenment on @ HBOGO. Its on. WAQsPm8L mende smith

@NathanielDiemer #PulseWagon @ richardboddy (wonder who he is?) #unknowntwitterfollower

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete @NathanielDiemer@msmendesmith surry! #PulseWagon

#PulseWagonhttp://pic.twitter. com/82grhf6j mende smith

mende smith @msmendesmith

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

#FollowBackForMoreSatanRelatedHumor #PulseWagon @DavidHershfeldt

Nathaniel Diemer

@NathanielDiemer@manbearpete #PulseWagon wonder what Scotty is up 2?

@ManBearPete @msmendesmith PETE! Use #PulseWagon #godkaren

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

#PulseWagon AaYq5nvc

mende smith @msmendesmith

I went to the midnight showing of The Matrix Reloaded. #CWUconfessions #PulseWagon Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer fitness class yay killing one hour #PulseWagon

Peter O’Cain @ManBearPete Made it home in time for Workaholics. Thank god... #PulseWagon

darby cox @daubscox

Nathaniel Diemer @NathanielDiemer

#pulsewagon so far at prosody open mic theres been a cowboy, some hippies, rap, and alice in chains covers. diversity.

@ManBearPete@msmendesmith NOOOOOOO #PulseWagon


Nathaniel Diemer doesn’t actually drink unless he goes to the bars with his friends. He likes to think he’s a @ realfauxtographer, so follow him on Instagram. pulse|| 61


RIP The Written Word I

couldn’t tell you how many times I get the look.

of your twilight years playing golf and backgammon. But the joke’s on you, I suck at golf; and good luck finding someone our age that gives two shits about backgammon.

When I tell people my major and their face contorts to a wrinkled ugly visage of pity.

A year into the program I finally feel like I can fit in, I love meeting new people each week and sketching their persona down onto paper where they can then show it to friends and family.

Random Brochacho: “What’s your degree in?” Handsome Me: “Journalism” Cue pitiful wrinkle face.

If people spent more time reading, I might actually have a pretty cushy job. Until then I can’t wait until the day where my editor starts abusing my creativity and asking me to come up with funny memes involving ironically posed cats to run on the front page of the Seattle Times.

Damn you Brochacho Journalists have a stigma; we’re either natural born writers who will flourish and use our power of free speech to delve into the secrecy of governments ensuring that the system of checks and balances are indeed checked and then balanced. Or there’s the other reason, we simply couldn’t decide on another major that would have led us to a more lucrative career. For a while I felt self-conscious about my major, concerned that I was about to carry my college diet of ramen noodles and pizza over into my late twenties, then into my mid thirties…and then as I am unable to retire as a 90-year-old police blotter writer before I die and am buried in a coffin assembled with dilapidated, rained on cardboard and dorm room wall tack. Note to self: Go with cremation. But here is why I am absolutely stoked about my career and why I will take advantage of every opportunity to rub it in your face. You can make more money than me, but my career will make me rich with friends and contacts of all types. Cheesy yes, but the truth.


Scott Herman You can loiter in your cubicle counting numbers in front of a elegant Pier 1 Imports frame with your children in it, but I will be having adventure after adventure with a worn out photo of me shaking hands with Ken Griffey Jr. in my cheap but ultra sturdy duct tape wallet.

I’ll admit newspapers are dull, black and white could bore a pet rock. But alas, it will be my life, until they catch me for abusing my press pass at a Foo Fighters concert. See you in the funny papers.

You can retire easy, and spend the rest

The New York Times

GOOD foo figh foo ters figh ters

Half Cool, Half Lame? It’s not uncommon for friends, acquaintances or even complete strangers to come up and ask me what race I am. I am always happy to answer and my answer is always “I’m half black and half white.” I live in a white town, in a very white state. I could count the other black kids at my high school on one hand and quite a few of them were mixed as well. People often questioned my ethnicity and I wasn’t offended by their curiosity. I have gone on vacations in Spanish-speaking countries and locals have tried to strike up a conversation with me in their native tongue. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I was adopted as I look nothing like my Caucasian mother. Even my third grade teacher asked me if I was adopted. (In my opinion, it’s not very professional to ask an 8-year-old girl if she’s adopted but whatevs.) I never get annoyed with people’s inquiries, though, and I always happily respond with, “I’m half black and half white.” As a kid and even today, kids would say, “Connie, your dad seems so cool.” This is strange because he is a reserved man who likes to keep to himself. On the other hand, he did wear long black coats that made him look like Shaft. My dad has impeccable manners. He always says, “Yes Sir,” “No Sir,” “Yes Ma’am,” and “No ma’am” to anyone who is older than himself. My Dad has been called an “Oreo,” Uncle Tom and has been accused of not being black enough. This is another example of “whiteness” being considered bad. But why? Because of the shortage of black people I was often referred to as “the black girl.” Now that I am still in white state, in a white town, at a white school I am not the black girl. There are enough full black people here so that I am the “mixed girl,” no longer the black girl. To make things more confusing, when I attend family reunions,

Connie Morgan Connie hopes to marry a half-Indian, half-Mexican man so their children can be a little bit of everything.” Follow her on twitter @conniemmorgan

I am sometimes jokingly referred to as the white girl. Although I refuse to let my race or ethnicity define me, I’ve wondered why there is a fascination with race and ethnicity in this country. When Barack Obama was elected president I couldn’t help but say I told you so. My dad and I had had many arguments about how racism is still alive in America. My dad argued that it was still a strong factor, determining opportunity, success and quality of life for African-Americans. Although I didn’t believe racism was dead, I certainly didn’t think my own ethnic background was going to get in my way. My father blamed my ignorance towards racism on my sheltered life and rural upbringing. Obama being elected not only proved to my dad that America wasn’t as racist as he thought but it forced me to ask myself some serious questions about race and the role it has in America today. Although I don’t exactly see eye to eye with Obama I found him to be inspirational in his first run for president. I related to the guy; dad was black, mom was white, successful, seemed to have nice family, what’s not to like?

Being a “mutt” (as my mom affectionately calls me) means that I am the black girl with white people and the white girl with black people. This is why I find it interesting that Obama is always referred to as the first black president when the man is mixed-race, too. I literally have never heard anyone—black or white— refer to him as white. I have never heard Obama correct anyone to tell them that he is also white, and I have also never heard him refer to himself as white or even half. As a person of the same background I am saddened by this. It seems that it may be seen as uncool to be white or embarrassing. This is so sad to me. Is it bad to embrace your Caucasian heritage? Sure there are dark patches, but African history isn’t any prettier. I love the white side of my family and I am not ashamed to say I am half white! My white mother was my primary guardian growing up and she did a damn good job. I am not proud to be black (now hold on, stay with me here), but I am not proud to be white either. I was born this way. I didn’t do anything to accomplish my whiteness or blackness. Now am I embarrassed or ashamed? Hell no! But I’ll tell you what I am proud of: I’m proud that I am an honor student, I am proud that I am a scholarship athlete, and I am proud that I am able to support myself. These are things that I worked for and accomplished. While I sure do appreciate the curly hair and the tan skin I inherited, these aren’t my accomplishments. The truth of the matter is that I am half white and half black. I don’t always fit in a box. I love that I get to experience two different cultures but I wonder why there are two different cultures sometimes. After all, people are people. Some are good, some are bad, and some are a little of both.

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#mind my business

On January nights, when the sky is woolblack the stars peer down all over this burg—blinking clear, I lay alone in my bed. The claws of the trees in between hundred-year old houses give Ellensburg a B Roll-film charm. In the petite campaign of our college town, dark branches close in, chain-link fences line the bulk of the fields, so much like the dark forest of Slender Man The Eight Pages that some out-of-towners visiting Wildcat town wonder if the game was inspired by such a place…nearby spaces and gravesites so resemble the TV sets of Hollyweird—SyFy Channel style. Slender Man is the one that finally broke into the deep well of my psyche. For months now, Dead Rising 2 and Minecraft hum on a big TV at the other side of the bedroom wall—seeping through while I sleep, perchance to dream and LO, my slumber remained uncluttered with the viscera of succeeding generations—until now. I am not a child of this generation. I was born of Gen X—seething in my punk rock ethics with a ruby-lipped scowl. A Native Seattleite, I sprouted up beneath the rainy skies in my sharp-pointed shoes click-clicked along dark crooked streets in the Broadway night. The pre-Goth growls of Skinny Puppy, Christian Death, The Cramps, Bauhaus, and Bowie screeched in with the trod of the rain in the gutters of 1987—calling up ghosts and vampires, Poe’s plague and Crowley’s devils, but not one beastie ever howled in my dreams. Fast-forward to 2012, when the dance clubs have all shut down and movie-watching and video-gaming are the preferred boredom kill of cold winter nights, the question on everyone’s mind is simple: Which one of the horrors will


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rear an ugly head? Undead creatures? Will the groaning MineCraft zombies, hopping Creepers or the silent Slender Man find ME first? Slender Man (SM)—commonly referred to as The Tall Man, Slendy, or Thin Man, lives in the world of newer imaginings, of vids, vlogs, and blog reels. SM is a mysterious horror-vid stalker, who, like all of the aformentioned beasties, was introduced to me by Maxe, my twelve-year old son and summarily downloaded to my MacBook—even when he goes away to school Slendy stays here with me. “You have to stay up and finish the campaign tonight,” the boy grins. “ I can only help you if you play this with me now and then save it, otherwise you might die.” As if a wanton tentacle from the stalker’s back has punctured a hole for the other walkers, bogeys and creepers—now they are all finding their way in. Sadly, the repercussions of these deaths committed by creatures of virtual worlds are difficult

to accuse. In summertime, twin zombies broke into my subconscious and did significant damage to a garden of corn flowers in my backyard. I have sought out the two zombies in question—first seen tripping and dragging around the Fortune City Plaza, but the assets of both have long since been closed out at the cut scene. Maxe, who’s Xbox represents the source of these nightmares, has offered to appear with me in dreams and so hopes that the next time I meet them [with their gray eyes lolling and jaws leaching, groaning and drooling all over our lawn] he might take in hand the ‘Paddle saw’, a canoe oar with a chainsaw fixed to both ends or a fire axe, or whatever token weapon he finds on the ground in my dream. His plan: Wait until darkness, follow the path marked by the arrows, bring a bottle of Vodka along with the token machete he sleeps with unconditionally and in good health we will both win out execution. “I cannot help but think that the Hi-fi DR2 game zombies and the Lo-fi creepers and now the presence of Slender Man are seeking you out for some purpose,” my online astrologer said. “When nightmares meet you time after time, night after night, you can bet that the imagination is exhausted with study and other mundane exercise, aiming to fend off the monsters of boredom—in dreams.” If an online astrologer determines that studies are bogging down my Universityeducated mind than I, and all other haunted souls will need to be insured against until the end of my educated days. “It could be treated like vandalism,” my son laughs. “These creatures have busted into your head and so you can beat them back until they die and then you’ll win.”



So envious of my vivid nightmares—all of these characters he has come to cherish—settling into my mind and not in his? My dreams, so removed from his own, seem to fail him in some way—like they have left him behind with his hidden arsenal of weapons, opting to puncture my mind for their naked lunch of my gray unencrypted matter. And who can blame them? Maxe says he does not remember his dreams. A miracle, it seems these creatures are the beasties of his world and so he is immune to them, as I was in mine long ago. If a twelve year-old boy so believes that conquering one’s nightmares and defeating one’s damages on the platform of the unconscious mind opens up the possibilities of future campaign strategies to the effect of future games still un played against the characters in question, than I salute his youthful ideals. According to study appearing in the Review of General Psychology in 2010, [3 Shrinkos] Drs.Fergusen, Morin, and Edinger of Texas A&M International University challenged that many studies on media and fear in ways that don’t correspond with real-world violence. Their study reads: “A person can develop poor sleep habits (i.e. watching TV or playing videogames and/or eating too much before bedtime), irregular sleep patterns (sleeping too late, taking long naps during the day after video gaming) to compensate for lost sleep at night. Some people also develop a fear of not sleeping and a pattern of worrying about the consequences of not sleeping,” Morin says. “Treatments that address the poor sleep habits and the faulty beliefs and attitudes about sleep work but sometimes, behavior modification is necessary.” A&M attempts to change our dysfunctional beliefs and attitudes about sleep. “It restructure thoughts – like, ‘I’ve got to

sleep eight hours tonight’ or ‘I’ve got to take medicine to sleep’ or ‘I just can’t sleep with that TV on’ or I’ll get sick if I don’t sleep.’ These thoughts focus too much on sleep, which can become something like performance anxiety – sleep will come around to you when you’re not chasing it,” Edinger says. Which, lastly, begs the question, ‘Do these experts have vid-crazy kids of their own?’ “What works in many cases,” say the Shrinkos three, “is to standardize or restrict a person’s sleep to give a person more control over his or her sleep, by regaining control of one’s sleep environs.” So, those are my choices; to either go to bed later and get up earlier or visa versa? To keep from falling asleep during my classes—the Shrinkos say not to restrict my sleep to less than five hours. Whether this trick improves the quality of my sleeping time by imposing a mild sleep deprivation situation, which has the

result of reducing the anxiety surrounding sleep, or whether I say to the boy—in a most crotchety mom voice—“Enough with these creeper games all night long already momma got 2 sleep!” only time will tell. My hand has been played. Take my advice, all of you born into the video gaming generation and, say, twenty years prior; Don’t download Slender Man. Just do yourself a favor and Don’t. If we are to take such advice from the experts, it might be when facing off both stalkers and walkers, serial zombies and faceless men that fear is the eye of the beholder, in this case, mine that is to blame for such nightmares. As of this report The ESRB has not yet rated the Slender Man game…

to download game


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Where to Rock: February & March

Concert Calendar for Seattle// Portland// Ellensburg // Lady Gaga



12 Whispers of Wonder@ Rotture in Portland

Lady Gaga in Montreal, Quebec

Mardi Gras @ CC Slaughters in Portland

Enslaved Pallbearer @ Rotture in Portland

Off! Negative Approach @ Rotture in Portland

Cam’Ron with Nacho Picasso DJ D Look @ The Crocodile in Seattle




Lady Gaga in Hamilton, Ontario ZZ Ward Delta Rae @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Lady Gaga in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Samothrace @ Rotture in Portland



Oscar Bash presented by the Ellensburg Film Festival in Ellensburg

Lady Gaga in Washington, D.C.




Psychic Ills Follakzoid @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Jukebox the Ghost, Matt Pond, Lighthouse & The Whaler @ The Crocodile in Seattle


The Slackers @ The Crocodile in Seattle Master, Sacrificial Slaughter, Fisthammer, Ceremonial Castings, Blood Freak @ Rotture in Portland







Progress 9:30-2 @ Contour in Seattle

Respect My Region Second Anniversary @ Prosody in Ellensburg

Lady Gaga in St. Paul, Minnesota


9 Mardi Gras @ CC Slaughters in Portland

Sub Frequency @ Crocodile in Seattle

The Wood Brothers @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Natural Vibrations @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Mardi Gras @ CC Slaughters in Portland

Brett Hamil @ Prosody in Ellensburg



The Growlers @ The Crocodile in Seattle

16 DJ Vadim + Barisone & Spekt1 @ Rotture in Portland

Nomeansno @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Chokeout @ Prosody in Ellensburg

Lady Gaga in Chicago, Illinois

Every Time I Die, The Acacia, Strain, Vanna @ Rotture in Portland Lady Gaga in Chicago, Illinois

Calabrese, Cold Blue Rebels @ Rotture in Portland

The Orwells @ The Crocodile in Seattle





Kishi Bashi with Shugo Tokumari @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Lady Gaga in New York, New York

Lady Gaga in New York, New York

Beatrox’s 2nd Bass Therapy @ New Location in Portland

Feed Me with Teeth @ Showbox in Seattle

Feed Me with Teeth @ Showbox in Seattle

The Fail Safe Project @ Prosody in Ellensburg

Guns of Nevada @ Prosody in Ellensburg

Turisas Firewind @ Rotture in Portland

R Stevie Moore with Lake @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Ott. & The All Seeing I @ Rotture in Portland

Blow Pony @ Rotture in Portland


Lady Gaga in Boston, Massachusetts


ToRoyMoi @ The Crocodile in Seattle The Slackers, The Sentiments @ Rotture in Portland

Bullets or Balloons @ Prosody in Ellensburg




Progress 9:30-2 @ Contour in Seattle

The Slants @ Prosody in Ellensburg

G-Eazy Must Be Nice @ The Crocodile in Seattle

Andaz @ Rotture in Portland

Aces Up @ Prosody in Ellensburg

Minnesota @ Rotture in Portland


Lady Gaga in Brooklyn, New York

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Credits Kiss & Tell Valentiens Day Edition Illustratios by Lindsey Antilla

Spotlight Zombie Girl Rises: 10 Years after CWU Red Dress Photo by Paulina Mereklova Other photos provided by Delondra Williams Wildcats: On Air Photo of Ashley, Lauren, Drew & Nick by Colin Robinson Photo of Colleen provided by Colleen Photo of Rose provided by Rose Photo of Amanda provided by Amanda All other photos by Mende Smith

Happy Hour Happiness in a Cup Tea photo by Mikey Riggin

After Dark Sober Sisters Illustrations by Darby Cox RIP The Written Word Illustrations by Lindsey Antilla

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COM 468 Professor Cynthia Mitchell

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CWU Pulse Magazine