12 to 18
That’s how old 69 percent of you were when you lost your V-card.
When it comes to first dates, visiting an art opening is usually a pretty safe bet. A gallery walk is a hassle-free, unintimidating activity that gives you plenty to talk about. This month’s opening at Firefish Gallery should be quite the conversation starter, but you might want to save it for a partner you’re already—how shall we say— well acquainted with. Through February, “Sin: A Group Collective of Erotic Art” is showing in a private room on the second floor of the gallery space, and features erotic art by 10 local artists, including nude studies, erotic photography, and sculptural interpretations of erogenous zones. According to a press release, the exhibit “aims to push boundaries with works ranging from graphic to subtle,” and “beg the viewer to question not only their comfort level but also to question the definition of ‘erotic.’” That might be a tall order if the exhibit were just pictures of the disrobed, but “Sin” also includes work by a jeweler and a fashion designer. Stop on by, and Firefish might just inspire you and your companion to get a little—how shall we say—creative on your own.
LOVE ME, ’TENDER Between the alcohol and close proximity, barhoppers often make the folks pouring the drinks the object of their desire. (It doesn’t hurt if the bartender’s a real cutie, either.) Charlottesville native Jon Bray, who tends at Ten, explains it’s just part of his job. C-VILLE: Do people ever hit on you when you’re working? Bray: Oh yeah! Absolutely. Who hits on you? I probably get hit on more by guys than girls. I don’t know why.
How do you know when someone wants you? It’s usually pretty obvious. You know, it’s more like a vibe or the way they look at you. Sometimes I’ll set a drink down and get a little brush of the hand or something like that. Of course there is the classic leaving their number on the check.
How does it make you feel when someone is flirting with you? It’s definitely very flattering. It’s a confidence booster when somebody likes you—especially if they’re good looking. Do you ever flirt back? Oh yes. It kind of comes with the territory. You’re trying to sell more alcohol, so you get a little flirty, particularly with older ladies that are out with the girls having fun. I’ve never hooked up with a complete stranger who came into the bar, though. If you want stories like that, you have to talk to bartenders who work at the Corner. What is your best bar flirting story? Once a guy and a girl came into the bar and paid their checks separately. When I looked at their credit card receipts, they had both left their phone numbers. That was pretty funny.
office during a recent interview—there is no surefire way for addressing desire disorders in women. “The problem with looking at sex disorders in women is, we don’t have a road map for how sex should work,” she said. Clayton is involved in the development of treatments for hyposexual desire disorder and female sexual arousal disorder. LibiGel, a testosterone gel that is applied to the arm, is three years into a five-year safety study, part of its FDA approval process. She also studied Flibanserin, which went before the FDA in 2010 but was ultimately not approved.
By her credentials, Anita Clayton is a UVA Medical School grad and seasoned psychiatrist. But, more plainly, she’s a cartographer of sexuality, a doctor devoted to helping men and women map their desires and drives. While working as a Navy psychiatrist, during the advent of Prozac, she worked with men who found their drives diminished. (In fact, Clayton’s 2001 study of antidepressants and desire is featured on a Trivial Pursuit card.) However, as Clayton wrote in her 2007 book, Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy—and as she said in her
“This was one of the problems with not having a road map,” said Clayton. The FDA “wanted certain outcomes that maybe were
not great outcome measures.” For men, a “successful sexual event” means an erection that is hard enough to penetrate. But that idea doesn’t translate from men to women, and other outcomes—say, “satisfaction”—were difficult to quantify, and indirectly related to desire. “If you think about your sexual desire, you can have desire without ever participating in sex,” said Clayton. “And you can participate in sex without ever having desire.” But there are routes to desire, as particular as your partner. And Clayton’s work could make it easier to find a more direct path.
LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH 62 percent of you said you’re in a monogamous
relationship, while 11 percent of you said you’re in a relationship, but that it isn’t monogamous.
February 7 – 13, 2012 c-ville.com 100% Recycled Paper
Desire: A roadmap for women