DISPATCHES
LIBRARY FOUNDATION BOARD - The Carmel Clay Public Library Foundation has named its board of directors and officers for 2009. Joining the board this year are Henry Blackwell II (retired), Mary Ann Burke (retired), Steve A. Cobb, managing director of CID Capital, and Dr. John Newton, assistant principal of Carmel High School. The foundation is a not-for-profit organization that seeks public and private funds to ensure the long term financial stability of the Carmel Clay Public Library. OOPS - In Brian Shapiro’s Jan. 13 column, “Another Season, Another Disappointment,” he said, “We need an extra (Colts) player in case one gets a mysterious illness, like Booger McFarland, or gets caught with a bag of pot, like Corey Simon.” Corey Simon left the team in 2007 after suffering a “non-football injury.” Defensive tackle Ed Johnson left the team in 2008 after police in Hamilton County found a bag of marijuana in his possession.
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few months back, Kent Burns miss the boat and need a life jacket when wrote an article that included you swim it alone. several suggestions for wives to Don’t try to “fix” us or the situhelp their husbands function ation unless we ask. Most of the better. His tips: Keep chips time, when women vomit feelings, conand beer stocked, make colorcerns, and random thoughts, coded lists and don’t bombard it’s simply to help us clear our them with questions during hearts and heads. Nothing their morning routine. (OK, so more. Please allow us to do weren’t his exact words, but you this without tuning us out and get the gist.) going straight to a solution or He even invited me to replans for “making it better.” spond with advice for men. Allow us to vent, and we will Oh happy day! So here it is, usually get around to figuring it Kent and men of northernout on our own. Indianapolis suburbs – a litany Don’t tell us we’re of complaints, or rather, a few being irrational, even if ideas for keeping your wife out we are. Women are crazy. We of the loony bin and/or off the know this. We have hormones Danielle “Bachelor.” (Ladies, hopefully I and children and husbands Wilson have done justice to this critical who frequently make our lives topic; please let me know which a veritable hell on earth. Our items I have forgotten.) decisions and actions are not always reaDon’t confuse your wants and sonable. Please do not point this out. Trust needs with ours. We do not want me, you’re not helping your case when you laser printers for Christmas. We do not do this. need sex every day. We do not think it Don’t leave the seat up. Seriously, would be cool to spend our birthdays why is it so hard for men to do this in Broad Ripple with underage hos and one little thing? Imagine stumbling into shots of Jägermeister. Though it’s always the bathroom in the dark of night, sitting the thought that counts, if it’s clear you down to relieve yourself, and having your haven’t really thought about us at all, you’ll cheeks splash into cold, possibly contami-
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nated, toilet water. So not cool. Just put the seat down after each use and pat yourself on the back for being a gentleman. As much as you want to, try not to come home from work and skip directly to “your” time. We know you’ve had a hard day at the office. We know you need to decompress. And we know you love us and the kids. But when you walk through the door and immediately head for your cave to watch the news or to run on the treadmill or to sit in the soothing quiet, you hurt our feelings. We would be much less evil if you would spend 20 minutes sharing stories about the day, playing with your children, and generally engaging with your family. Being a man can be tough. Learning to navigate the murky and often treacherous waters of the female being is hard enough. We are fascinating, yet fickle, creatures indeed. But hopefully the above list will help you understand and appreciate our womanly ways, or at the very least, keep you out of the doghouse for another week or two. Good luck; you’re definitely going to need it. Peace out!
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5 COMMUNITY
ROUNDABOUT CONFERENCE - Carmel has been selected to host the 2011 Transportation Research Board’s National Roundabout Conference.The city was selected by the 50-member board last week. Seattle, Wash. was also in the running to host the conference.
five things men shouldn’t do
Danielle Wilson is a Carmel resident and contributing columnist. You may e-mail her at danielle@currentincarmel.com.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009 www.currentincarmel.com