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45

Bob Speaks!

Pop culture icon Kevin Smith dishes on his secret to staying organized. On the Cover: Photo by Ben Leuner/AMC

16 Law Abiding Citizen Comedian Jimmy Dore gives us his shtick on why he loves our state. 18 Awesome Octo Yoko Ono is still going strong—at age 80! 22 Totally Edible Looking for cool, funky eateries to sink your teeth into? We got it covered. 24 Technical Furor This time, Dillinger Escape Plan had more freedom to be creative. 32 Sleeper Agent If insomnia’s wrecking your nights, some relief is in sight.

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departments News Nuggets

Cannabis makes headlines here, there, everywhere—and we give you the scoop—PLUS our latest By the Numbers.

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Letter from the Editor

Our federal government is wrong . . . but not always.

It’s wet, it’s wild—welcome to the playground for the rich and beautiful: Uruguay’s Punta del Este.

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Profiles in Courage Our latest feature provides insight into the life—and struggle—of a medical cannabis patient near you.

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LEGAL CORNER

If the cops try and test your blood for cannabis—boy, do they have another thing coming, says attorney Anne Toney.

Strain, Edible & concentrate Reviews Our ever-popular sampling of amazing strains, edibles and concentrates currently provided by your friendly neighborhood dispensary.

Cool Stuff

From a Waffle-Making Typewriter to TH3 E Smoke, if it’s a cutting-edge product or cool lifestyle gear, we’re all over it.

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Destination Unknown

Recipes

Spring has sprung—and so will this light and refreshing menu inspired by Mother Nature’s greenest season.

Entertainment Reviews

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The latest films, books, music and more that define our culture.

Shooting Gallery

Here are the green-friendly things we saw you doing around town.

let’s do this

Our wrap-up of some of Colorado’s coolest events.

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Vol 4 IssUE 11

letter from the editor Publisher

Jeremy Zachary

GET YOUR CLICK HERE

www.iReadCulture.com

Roberto C. Hernandez Editor-In-Chief

A

Study in

Contradiction

Editor-in-Chief

Roberto C. Hernandez

Managing Editor Jake Browne

Arts & Entertainment Editor Evan Senn

Editorial Contributors

Dennis Argenzia, Omar Aziz, Ngaio Bealum, Sarah Bennett, David Burton, Michael Carlos, Grace Cayosa, Jasen T. Davis, Alex Distefano, David Downs, Byron Graham, James P. Gray, Victor Hussar, Lillian Isley, David Jenison, Carl Koslowski, Liquid Todd, Kevin Longrie, Meital Manzuri, Sandra Moriarty, Damian Nassiri, Keller O’Malley, Tommy Purvis, Paul Rogers, Jeff Schwartz, Lanny Swerdlow, Arrissia Owen, Simon Weedn

Photographers

Steve Baker, Gregory Cannon, Kristopher Christensen, Michael Gifford, John Gilhooley, Khai Le, Ryan Mazrim, Kim Sidwell

Cannabis has no medicinal value. Cannabis has medicinal value. Which one of these statements is true? Ask someone who has studied cannabis and you’ll get a pretty clearcut answer: the chemical compounds of the cannabis plant offer a whole host of health benefits. It does have medicinal value. But ask some of the narcocrats running the federal government— say the Drug Enforcement Administration, the White House, etc.—and you’ll get the same ol‘ party line, ripped straight from the pages of the Controlled Substances Act: “no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States.” And yet . . . and yet . . . our own federal government contradicts itself. Yes, the same government that tells us cannabis cannot be used as medicine is the same government that provides hundreds of pre-rolled joints to the four surviving participants of its Compassionate Investigational New Drug Program—a program that’s been in place since the 1970s and was specifically set up to provide Americans with government-grown cannabis to treat a medical disorder. When President Obama was interviewed by Barbara Walters last year, all he could lamely say when asked

about legalizing cannabis is stuff like: “this is a tough problem” and “there are a number of issues that need to be considered.” Meanwhile, as patients suffer through life, seek relief and clamor for access to a plant that grows naturally, there are other folks who spend their time sharing and dispensing the truth. Just ask the National Cancer Institute or the National Institutes of Health, and these agencies will talk to you about cannabis’ “direct antitumor effect” or about the patients who were able to “obtain relief” for their cancer or neuropathic pain . . . thanks to cannabis-derived medicine. Talk to the National Center for Biotechnology Information or the National Library of Science and they’ll share with you info about how “moderate marijuana use is associated” with reducing the risk of cancer. Did I mention that these last four organizations I just mentioned are part of the federal government? The same government that says the exact opposite? So if our own government can’t make up its mind—who can patients turn to and trust with factual, relevant, propaganda-free information about medical cannabis? You’re holding it in your hands right now, my friends. Enjoy this issue. c

Interns

Joe Martone, Dean Mayorga, Derek Obregon

Art Director

Steven Myrdahl

Graphic Designers

Vidal Diaz, Tommy LaFleur

Director of Sales & Marketing Jim Saunders

Regional Manager Kim Slocum

Account Executives

Jon Bookatz, Gene Gorelik, Shane Harms, Justin Marsh, John Parker, Dave Ruiz, April Tygart

Office Manager Iris Norsworthy

Office Assistant Jamie Solis

Online Marketing Jackie Moe

IT Manager

Serg Muratov

Distribution Manager Cruz Bobadilla

Culture® Magazine is published every month and distributes 40,000 papers at over 1,000 locations throughout Colorado. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. Culture® Magazine is a registered trademark of Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. 300 Center Drive #220 Superior | Colorado | 80027 Phone 888.694.2046 | Fax 303.305.4373 www.iReadCulture.com

CULTURE® Magazine is printed using post-recycled paper.

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THE STATE The hempire strikes back—Springfield farmer to be first to grow nonpsychoactive plant

The nation’s first commercial hemp grower in more than half a century says he plans to start his first batch of crops at a farm in Springfield, The Denver Post reports. Ryan Loflin, spurred by Amendment 64—which legalized hemp along with the recreational use of cannabis—says he has leased 60 acres at his father’s alfalfa farm, and has 400 starter plants ready to go. “I believe this is really going to revitalize and strengthen farm communities,” Loflin told The Post. Hemp is technically illegal under federal law.

Strike four—controversial cannabis DUI bill fails in the state Senate

A bill that would have established a cannabis blood limit for motorists—similar to existing alcohol DUI laws—failed last month in the Colorado Senate, The Colorado Observer reports. This is the fourth time such a cannabis DUI bill has failed. The bill—as well as its predecessors— faced harsh criticism from MMJ patients, cannabis activists and others who said establishing a hard number (five nanograms of cannabis per milliliter of blood) to indicate intoxication was not scientific “It’s not a specific science, unlike alcohol that can be measured,” said Sen. Kevin Lundberg (R-Berthoud), who 10 CULTURE • MAY 2013

argued against the fivenanogram limit. Some senators said they were also concerned that MMJ patients would be penalized under the bill’s provisions since they commonly have higher levels of cannabis in their system from frequent use—and having cannabis in your system is not the same thing to criminal intoxication. Another element cited by senators who rejected the bill was a recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling that said police in most cases must get a warrant before taking a blood sample if the driver doesn’t consent.

Dixie Elixirs forges deal to bring its infused products to other MMJ states

Colorado-based Dixie Elixirs & Edibles is going national. The company—well known for its line of infused beverages and other edibles—has partnered up with another firm, Medical Marijuana Inc., in a deal announced last month that will bring Dixie products to other compassionate states, according to the Medical Marijuana Business Daily. A new entity named Red Dice Holdings will market and license Dixie products. Some of the states envisioned for Dixie products include Arizona, Rhode Island and possibly California. “There is no shortage of opportunity,” Tripp Keber, Dixie’s president and Red Dice chief

executive officer, told the Business Daily.

THE NATION Attorney General: Massachusetts towns and cities cannot enact MMJ bans

Cities and towns in Massachusetts cannot enact bans on MMJ dispensaries, according to a decision from the office of Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley, according to 90.9 WBUR. Such a ban—Coakley’s decision read—would “frustrate the purpose” of the medical cannabis law—Question 3— voters approved last November. Cities, however, are permitted to enact zoning bylines and other dispensary regulations, according to Assistant Attorney General Margaret Hurley. Hurley said Massachusetts’ MMJ law “could not be served if a municipality could prohibit treatment centers within its borders, for if one municipality could do so, presumably all could do so.”

surplus MMJ as well as ensuring that qualified patients can receive the medicinal plant. This bill also requires a background check for business owners, as well as documentation of how much MMJ a facility receives and from which state-registered grower they get it from. If passed, HB 3460 would also require MMJ outlets to test their cannabis products for impurities.

Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley says he is likely to approve cannabis “research centers”

Maryland might become the next compassionate state. State lawmakers last month approved a bill that would allow MMJ programs to set up shop at participating medical research centers in the state, USA Today reports. Gov. Martin O’Malley has said he expects to sign the bill into law. The programs are not expected to be operational until 2016.

Oregon introduces new medical cannabis regulations

Oregon’s largely unregulated medical cannabis industry could be facing some changes. State lawmakers have proposed HB 3460, a bill that aims to regulate

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THE WORLD UK researcher: Crime and drug use do not increase because of cannabis reform

Foes of cannabis—who claim that there is a distinct link between cannabis use and crime—have no friend in UK criminologist Alex Stevens. The criminology professor recently refuted several media reports claiming that reducing penalties for cannabis possession has led to increases in drug use, crime and health problems. Saying such statements are unfounded and based on faulty data, among other things, Stevens says cannabis use and crime actually decreased since the plant was reclassified in 2004 by the government as a less dangerous substance. Steven cited the British Crime Survey—which estimated crime fell by 17 percent since 2004—and the “Survey of Smoking, Drinking and Drug Use Among Young People in England,” to back up his conclusions.

by the numbers April 2012: 2,400 (Source: The Wall Street Journal).

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The estimated price (in dollars) for a pound of medical cannabis in Denver in 2013: 2,000 (Source: The Wall Street Journal).

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The percentage of Americans who say cannabis should be legalized: 52 (Source: Pew Research Center).

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The number of cameras that one Denver cultivator has installed in his grow operation: 48 (Source: The Wall Street Business Journal).

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The percentage of Americans who say cannabis should remain illegal: 45 (Source: Pew Research Center).

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A low estimate of the amount (in millions of dollars) that legal and medical cannabis sales are expected to generate next year in Colorado: 700 (Source: Medical Marijuana Business Daily).

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The estimated price (in dollars) for a pound of medical cannabis in Denver in 12 CULTURE • MAY 2013

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The percentage of Americans who were against legalization in 1991: 78 (Source: Christian Science Monitor).

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The percentage of Americans who supported legalization in 1969: 12 (Source: Gallup Poll).

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The estimated number of cannabis users in Uruguay: 150,000 (Source: Bloomberg BusinessWeek).

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The monthly cannabis “ration” (in grams) that a Uruguayan 18 years+ could register for from the federal government: 30 (Source: Bloomberg BusinessWeek).

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The estimated dollar amount (in billions) that legal cannabis sales will generate this year in the U.S.: 1.5 (Source: The Huffington Post).

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The estimated price (in dollars) for a pound of medical cannabis in Denver in April 2011: 2,900 (Source: The Wall Street Business Journal).

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Painted Memories by Eduardo Sarabia

A participating medical research center would be required to specify the types of conditions it would treat and the criteria by which patients would be allowed to participate. The center would provide all patient and caregiver data to the state health department. The department could make this data available to law enforcement. State Delegate Dan Morhaim told USA Today that Sinai Hospital in Baltimore and John Hopkins have expressed an interest in participating or are considering it. “Maryland has taken a small step in the right direction, but more steps are necessary for patients to actually obtain the medicine they need to alleviate their suffering,” Amanda Reiman, a policy manager for the Drug Policy Alliance, said in a statement.

The percentage of Americans who were pro-legalization in 1991: 17 (Source: Christian Science Monitor).

The estimated dollar amount (in billions) that legal cannabis sales will generate by 2018: 6 (Source: The Huffington Post).

“Huevos Revueltos”

“Huevos Revueltos” is a three-part lecture series at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Denver. May is for Mexico at MCAD. “Huevos Revueltos” is curated by Guadalajarabased artist Eduardo Sarabia, whose exhibition “Tainted” is on view throughout May. The lectures bring together artists, political thinkers and others for lively conversations on Thursdays in May. May 16 is “Nuevos Huevos: Contemporary Art in Mexico.” Sarabia discusses the state of contemporary art in Mexico with invited guests. May 23 is “Magic and Reality: Shamanism and Marijuana Legislation.” Monyca Bouras, a practicing shaman, speaks about mystical culture and Jeff London discusses the history of cannabis legislation in the Americas. May 30 is “Tlaquepaque Style: Tacos and Answers,” where José Noe Suro of Ceramica Suro discusses his Tlaquepaque-based ceramics factory while making tacos for the audience. (Tacos included with admission.)

IF YOU GO

What: “Huevos Revueltos.” When/Where: May 9-31 at Museum of Contemporary Art Denver, 1485 Delgany St., Denver. Info: Program series $25 (members only), individual event tickets $15 ($10 members). Visit mcadenver.org.

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FLASH

Standup and Deliver Comic Jimmy Dore: It’s wrong to jump through hoops to get medicine {By Carl Koslowski} Jimmy Dore is one of the few truly bold political comics on the current American scene. His career path—which included a slot on the illustrious The Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival in 2008—has led him to star in several Comedy Central specials, including 2008’s Citizen Jimmy (“I actually flew to Denver to edit it,” Dore says.), and host his own nationally-syndicated radio show, The Jimmy Dore Show—which can be heard at stations across the country. He’s also one of the regulars on the Current TV series The Young Turks—Dore was among a panel of guests last November that

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discussed Colorado’s then-pending vote on Amendment 64—and has been a frequent talk show guest for both Jimmy Kimmel and Craig Ferguson. But more importantly for CULTURE readers, Dore is a passionate advocate for ending the war on cannabis and MMJ. He not only was a writer-performer of the smash off-Broadway hit The MarijuanaLogues (performed last June at Denver’s Comedy Works), but he also believes that using MMJ saved his sanity and possibly even his life, due to its strong role in helping alleviate chronic and debilitating pain caused by problems with the vertebrae in his back.

I’m completely baffled by the Drug War when it comes to cannabis, and how we’re locking people up. There are plenty of productive people out there with no problem, and legit medical uses. Obama and Clinton put more people in prison for this than Republicans. Is it an easy way to look tough on crime? We have to guess because it’s such a crazy thing that the government’s doing. They’re going against the will of the people and this time violently. They’re showing up with M16s. I saw them bring M-16s one time to my clinic. They closed the street off, all got out with their M-16s and their bulletproof vets. I bet they could have just asked the owner to close down for a day and come downtown but they had to go in with the big guns. They’re cowboys, you give ’em the guns and they’re gonna use ’em. They can’t tell the difference between a problem and not a problem. It’s like if your only tool is a hammer, and every problem is a nail. You have had a serious need for medical marijuana yourself. I heard you were nearly crippled by pain for years. Yeah, I have a bad back; problems with my vertebrae and stuff like that. I can buy liquor at a gas station in the United States, but I have to see a doctor and go to a clinic and buzzed into a back room in order to buy a joint. Are you kidding me?! You guys should be embarrassed to be doing this to me. You say “I don’t think you’re sick enough.” Well, you’re not sick and you can buy Everclear, no one makes you take a test to buy it. You should feel bad that you make a guy jump through hoops to get his [medicine] of choice when you don’t have to. That’s how I feel about it. c

A

Rocky START Comic Jimmy Dore sure has love for Colorado. “I think the reason Colorado was among the first states to legalize marijuana is because [it has] more clean, fresh, unpolluted air than most other states, and that obviously leads to an abundance of clearheaded thinking,” Dore tells CULTURE. “ . . . And it seems [Colorado voters] have decided that the demonization of a plant, put here by God, that grows freely in nature that has no lethal dose is maybe not something they should be wasting  precious resources fighting against.”

www.jimmydorecomedy.com

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BUZZ

This year has been a milestone for artist and visionary Yoko Ono. Not only did the pop icon celebrate her 80th birthday just a couple of months ago, she has also achieved success in the realm of album charts with a new single burning up the clubs. Not bad for an octogenarian(!) “Hold Me,” a single from Ono’s ongoing remix series recently jumped to No. 3 on the Billboard Hot Dance/ Club Play chart. Cowritten and produced by the Grammynominated Dave Audé. But the activist’s work and efforts on various artistic, political and social causes (she and husband John Lennon rallied for women’s rights and prison reform, for example) go back decades— and even included cannabis rights at one point. When poet and activist John Sinclair was arrested for minor possession (giving two joints to undercover cops) in Michigan, Ono and Lennon performed at a 1971 “Freedom Rally” as a show of support. c

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Punch Bowl Social Punch Bowl Social is a bar and grill, oft-maligned by its neighbors for attracting an unwanted element to the otherwise hipper-than-thou Baker. With its scattered vintage arcade games and overpriced bowling lanes, PBS fully capitalizes on the recent trend of Denver bars that feature stuff that you loved when you were a kid, only now you’re drunk. Top 40 hip-hop reverberates through the building, loud enough to get into if you so choose, but not so loud you can’t hear your table mate. The interior design follows the obligatory Denver aesthetic of wood floors and exposed brick. The Cast Iron Burgers, improved by thick slabs of pork belly bacon are better than they need to be, though many other menu items are less impressive. The Salt Cod Fritters for example, tasted like they were likely frozen. Punch Bowl Social is a better-than-expected place to eat, however, it’s probably only worth it to go there if you’re meeting up with someone who will have sex with you, especially considering the bounty of late night dining options nearby in Baker. (Byron Graham) www.punchbowlsocial.com

Old Major Old Major, one of the hottest spots in Denver’s Highland neighborhood, is also one of its newest. Chef Justin Brunson, an Iowa transplant, brought his love of hog from the Hawkeye State to Denver, where house cured meats and reclaimed wood walls meet upscale flourishes like an open kitchen and iPad drink menus. You’ll be tempted to fill up on one of their fresh baked pretzel rolls, served with a mustard butter you have to try to believe. For those who are seriously medicated, we’d recommend you eat an entire pig. Seriously. The Nose to Tail plate ($29) gives you a bit of everything: a giant confit rib, equal portions of belly and chop, a smoky “city ham” and crispy pig ear spears topped with a simple rhubarb jus. Brunson knows his way around the catch of the day, too. The Halibut ($30) manages to pull off a marriage of fish and potatoes like only an Iowan can, with a hearty risotto that’s lightened by a pea shoot salad and sake-roe beurre blanc. Make reservations in advance, as they’ve been packing them in like a modern farm, not Orwell’s. (Jake Browne) oldmajordenver.com 22 CULTURE • MAY 2013

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TUNES

Killer

Music The Dillinger Escape Plan returns to school the metal masses

ON STAGE

{By Alex Distefano} a rabid fan base, built through relentless touring over the past 15 years and five studio albums of some of the most genre-bending, mind-altering, über-technical “metal” the world has ever heard. While definitely heavy, the band’s sound isn’t easily categorized. Though many have attempted

Say What?

With an eagerly anticipated album out this month, The Dillinger Escape Plan has an entire year and a half of sold-out touring ahead itself, according to vocalist Greg Puciato. “This is the first time in almost 10 years that we’ve recorded a record back to back with the same lineup and that made a huge difference for us as a band,” Puciato says of new album One Of Us Is The Killer. “When you have to get a new member, you have to teach them everything from scratch. This time around we had more freedom to be creative, and nothing to do between tours except to write music with [people] we already knew that were in the band.” The Dillinger Escape Plan— also featuring founding member/ guitarist Ben Weinman, bassist Liam Wilson, drummer Billy Rymer and guitarist James Love—has

“The only thing pot does for me is it gets me to stop thinking. Sometimes I have a brain that needs to be turned off. Some people are just better high.” —Justin Timberlake

to label the band, Puciato merely says his band’s discography pivots around an insane amount of precision, passion and insanity/ intensity that go into every one of Dillinger Escape Plan’s live shows. The band is also scheduled to participate in Revolver Magazine’s Golden Gods Awards, a metal awards show, and will perform along with Stone Sour, Anthrax, Metallica and other heavy acts. “Last year we were nominated and won—which was a surprise,” Puciato says. “We’re playing this show because it’s a cool opportunity to get in front of a more metal audience again. We’ve never played with Slayer or done Ozzfest or [Rockstar Energy Drink] Mayhem [Festival]. And I feel like the traditional metal crowd knows the least about us. That’s kinda funny, since we’re considered a metal band but never spent much time catering

May 14 at the Fox Theatre in Boulder. to that tag. In fact, we ran against it deliberately so we would never get stuck because you never know—10 years ago we might want to sound like Portishead.” In June, The Dillinger Escape plan is scheduled to perform at the Orion Music + More festival in Detroit, which features Metallica, Deftones and other marquee bands. “Playing with Metallica is something I thought of as a kid,” Puciato says. “It was the end-all be-all at that time of my life . . . We’ve been doing this for many years now but we’re still humble and stoked to share the stage with Metallica.” c www.dillingerescapeplan.org

Green Letter Date

Talk about perfect timing. The Dillinger Escape Plan is exhausted from their nearly perfect performance at the three-day New England Metal & Hardcore Festival, which took place on (wait for it) April 20. With that date in mind—plus a lineup that included Opeth, Katatonia, Terror, Hatebreed, Suicidal Tendencies, DRI, Shadows Fall, Anthrax, Municipal Waste and Exodus—frontman Greg Puciato admitted more than one member of the band was thoroughly satisfied with that day, and that performance. “We couldn’t be happier to play this year; there were so many great metal bands all three days. Ten years ago we used to do a lot of metal shows like that then we tried to break out of that to avoid getting pigeonholed into being that type of metal band. But now it feels good to go back to play for those crowds again.”

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destination unknown

Czech Vantage

Point

Uruguay’s Punta del Este offers travelers South Beach-style sights and soundtracks “If you want to get wild on the beach, the place to come is Punta del Este,” said actress Natalia Cigliuti in a 2001 Wild On E! episode showcasing Uruguay’s top destination. That year, LeBron James played for the Fighting Irish, the first Harry Potter debuted in theaters and Shaggy topped the music charts (twice), while Punta del Este’s international draw was primarily from Buenos Aires and south Brazil. The crowds were wild and wealthy, but it was media outlets like E! that took the town global. A dozen years later, North American and European jetsetters join the Punta crowds for a party that’s sexier, ritzier and more exclusive than ever. “It is a playground for rich and goodlooking people,” says Tamie Sheffield, a world traveler who brokers tickets to select Playboy Mansion parties. “Punta was just for South Americans before, but now it’s worldwide. If you happen to be ‘in the know,’ the villa parties are absolutely insane.”

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Punta del Este is a South Beach-style city that sits on a peninsula, but the designation typically refers to a stretch of coastline extending 20 miles northeast to Jose Ignacio. Along the way, La Barra is a Hamptons-meets-Ibiza town whose famed Bikini Beach overflows with perfectly bronzed Brazilian and Argentine women and self-important men trying desperately to meet them. DJs spin house music on the sand to provide a daytime soundtrack, and when the clock strikes midnight, meticulously groomed crowds flock to the local clubs. Punta’s fame clearly stems from its glitterati-packed nightlife and unfairly blessed bodies because the local beaches are solidly mediocre. Still, the scene goes bonkers from mid-December to early March, and to quote the Lonely Planet travel guide, “Tan it, wax it, buff it” before even considering a visit. With an underwhelming beach, Punta sounds like a hotspot with a limited shelf life, but its enduring legacy is diverse and multi-generational. Brigitte Bardot, the

By David Jenison

Rat Pack and Che “Freakin‘” Guevara were all early fans, and more recent visitors include Bob Dylan, Madonna, Robert De Niro, Simon Le Bon and Leonardo DiCaprio. Colombian singer Shakira rocks a ranch in Punta, and Naomi Campbell and Gisele Bundchen are rumored to have vacation homes. The travel press now calls it the “St. Tropez of South America,” though there are drawbacks to a crowd that admires Kim Kardashian more than Exene Cervenka. Punta del Este, for some, sounds more hellish than shelling out $17 to see Schwarzenegger in The Last Stand. Rented sports cars, yacht-packed marinas and the $100-million Trump Tower construction all feel faker than that rug sitting atop ol‘ Donald’s dome. Still, CULTURE readers who disdain the “scene” may soon have another reason to visit. By the year’s end, Uruguay is likely to become the first country to legalize cannabis. Uruguayan president Jose Mujica is the leading proponent for a new law that would allow citizens to purchase, possess and/or grow established legal amounts. The 77-year-old leader, who donates 90 percent of his salary to charity, believes that cannabis prohibition enriches organized crime, promotes violence and drains the state coffers, and the government launched a three-month public forum on April 4 to educate its citizens. Proactive ideas include a National Cannabis Institute that directs the income from sales into education and health. The proposed law only applies to citizens, so Amsterdam-style “coffee shops” may not emerge, but it is a symbolic step for a continent weary of ineffective U.S. drug war tactics. In the meantime, cannabis is readily available in Punta del Este, and discreet smokers are typically left alone. c

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profiles in courage Patient: Jakki H

AGE: 32

Condition/ Illness:

Neurofibromatosis Type 1

Using medical cannabis since: 2003

Are you an MMJ patient from Colorado with a compelling story to tell? If so, we want to hear from you. Email your name, contact information and details about your experiences with medical cannabis to courage@ireadculture.com.

Why did you start using medical cannabis?

I started using medical cannabis because of my NF1, which is a tumor disorder that causes tumors to grow along the nervous system. My disease is very painful and unpredictable, my neurofibromas range in size and location on my body. I have had eight surgeries to remove countless tumors throughout my body; from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet—some weighing as much as 8 pounds.

Did you try other methods or treatments before cannabis?

I have always had chronic pain, and for years had been misdiagnosed. I have been given pretty much every pharmaceutical for pain—from patches, to shots, to pills . . . I have found healthier ways to ingest my medicine, such as vaporizing with my Extreme Q or eating my favorite edibles like the Peanut Butter Swirl Trikom Treats I eat to relieve my pain and relax my nerves in a safe, healthy and delicious way.

What’s the most important issue or problem facing medical cannabis patients?

I believe that, unfortunately, most people are ignorant to all the benefits of this plant, and if their only source of information is a media that refers to medical cannabis as “pot” or “weed” and the medical edibles I eat—like Trikom Treats—as “pot laced” brownies and not seriously as medicine, it is unlikely anyone will give this wonderful plant the chance and credit it deserves.

What do you say to folks who are skeptical about cannabis as medicine?

First I mention [that] I understand their reservations and then share my story with them about how it has completely helped me cope in a natural way with the pain I experience daily. c

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By Ann Toney

Give

Take? and

On April 17, 2013, the United States Supreme Court (the “Court”) decided Missouri v. McNeely, which will have implications in the world of driving and marijuana. The facts in McNeely are that Mr. McNeely was stopped by a Missouri police officer for speeding and crossing the centerline. After being stopped and declining to take a breath test to measure his blood alcohol concentration (BAC), Mr. McNeely was arrested and taken to a nearby hospital for blood testing. The officer never attempted to secure a search warrant in order to take Mr. McNeely’s blood and Mr. McNeely did not consent to having his blood drawn. At his trial Mr. McNeely moved to suppress his blood results because his blood had been taken without a search warrant and without his permission and therefore this seizure of his blood was unreasonable under the Fourth Amendment. Mr. McNeely argued therefore that the search and seizure of his blood violated his constitutional rights. The Court agreed and

Say What?

legal corner

upheld the suppression of Mr. McNeely’s blood results. Under constitutional law, a person is protected by the Fourth Amendment against any unreasonable search and seizure of his or her person. To establish that the search or seizure is reasonable, there needs to be “consent” to the search/seizure by the person or a “warrant” obtained by law enforcement from a judge finding that the search/seizure was reasonable. If law enforcement does not have consent or a warrant, then the search/seizure has to be executed as a result of an “exigent circumstance.” So, the question decided in Missouri v. McNeely was whether the “natural dissipation of alcohol in the bloodstream” (losing the evidence by having the alcohol level decrease in the blood) amounts to an exigent circumstance qualifying the dissipation of blood as an “exception to the warrant requirement” thereby justifying taking the driver’s blood during a DUI investigation against the driver’s will and without a warrant. The Court decided that Mr. McNeely’s stop involved a routine DWI (driving while intoxicated)

“. . . [T]here is no rational basis for classifying marijuana with the ‘hard narcotics,’ . . . there is not even a rational basis for treating marijuana as a more dangerous drug than alcohol.” —Michigan Supreme Court, 1972

investigation where no factors other than the natural dissipation of blood alcohol were there to support an emergency. Therefore, without having an emergency present (exigent circumstance), law enforcement did not have a reason to bypass a search warrant from a judge before conducting a “search” of Mr. McNeely’s body and “seizing” his blood against his will. Examples of what would qualify as an “exigent circumstance” allowing law enforcement to search/seize a person without their consent and without a warrant would include: “need to provide emergency assistance to an occupant in a home,” “engage in hot pursuit of a fleeing suspect,” “enter a burning building to put out a fire and investigate its cause” and “to prevent the imminent destruction of evidence.” These are times when law enforcement does not need a search warrant or permission before they take action. The Court decided an exigent circumstance though does NOT include taking blood during a DUI investigation just because the alcohol will dissipate. c

Ann Toney, P.C. is a Denver-based law firm that focuses on medical cannabis business law and cannabis defense; and defending people charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs (DUI/DUID). Ann Toney can be contacted via phone or web at (303) 399-5556 and www.medicalcannabislaw.com.

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strain & edible reviews GET YOUR CLICK HERE

www.iReadCulture.com

Bakked Almond Tie Dye Cookies There’s an old saying: You can take the hippies out of marijuana, but you can’t take the marijuana out of hippies. Or something like that. In an homage to the radical ’60s culture that popularized the same cannabis that we use today for medicine (albeit WAY less potent), there’s Bakked Tie Dye Almond Cookies. Made from scratch and 100 mgs of THC, these cookie threepacks are a perfect treat for someone looking to indulge their sweet tooth. Using a bit of almond paste is a brilliant way to offset some of the cannabis flavor, even if it’s fairly mild to begin with. Crumbly and crispy, they go great with a glass of milk and a sofa with lots of cushions. We noticed effects kicking in after about 20 minutes, leaving us relaxed and calm after splitting a cookie each. While they didn’t knock us out, those who tried them before bedtime noticed deeper sleep as a result.

Sage Sage, as you may remember from last month, stands for Sativa Afghani Genetic Equilibrium, a geneticist’s attempt at breeding the perfect 50/50 hybrid. Where would the medical cannabis community be without mad scientists? We sampled from a big ol‘ jar of Sage from Urban Dispensary in Denver and felt all the more wiser for our decision. The lime green nugs reveal a darker side under the sugar leaf, with a healthy dose of cloudy amber trichomes covering just about the entire surface area of the bud. With a nose of pine and sandalwood, we were impressed with how much sweetness we got on the exhale. Our reviewers found Sage was perfect for the early afternoon, helping speed the team up after a big office lunch left several close to a food coma. Creative and stimulating, it was probably just what that the mad scientist was looking for. We can hear the ominous “Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha” clear as day.

Blue Mystic Mysteries can come in many varieties: unsolved, paranormal or as part of a bad dinner-party theme. One of our favorite whodunits comes from Edgewater, at the Northern Lights dispensary—fitting that the actual Northern Lights probably scared the crap out of early humans. There we picked up some Blue Mystic, which was conspicuously missing the traditional light blue hue that it was bred for by Nirvana Seeds. Different phenos are known to lack the trait, and we loved the density that reminded us of some good old fashioned outdoor. Beneath the big whiffs of rubber was a great dark chocolate smell that came through more noticeably in the smoke. While we noticed many trichome heads broken off, the potency was off the charts, with the 100-percent indica making for a great night’s sleep for everyone who partook. If you’re looking to nod off watching a show before bed—or you’re in the middle of a sentence—give Blue Mystic a try.

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Triple Sour Diesel The Triple Sour D from Denver’s Trenchtown dispensary is all the proof we need that good things happen in threes. This fun cross of NYC Diesel, Sour Diesel and OG Kush is all over the place, combining indica and sativa lineage within the diesel family with the potency of a Kush. At the risk of offending the bud, it was definitely chunky like the structure you see in a great OG, with forest green leaf contrasting well against clusters of trichs. What we weren’t expecting was the noticeable lack of Diesel smell. Opening up the bag releases the same funk from a great cut of OG Kush: almost like low tide if someone had set a couple of buoys on fire. One thing we noticed about this Sour is the rapid onset of thoughts, which had most reviewers racing with ideas. This mile-a-minute head buzz isn’t for everyone, so if you’re prone to paranoia, take it easy on the Triple Sour Diesel.

Flo Energy Drink One of the biggest misconceptions about cannabis is that it brings your day to a stoned stop. Many companies are working to turn around the perception with sativa-based products, and Flo Energy Drink has been wildly successful to that end. Made only from Flo genetics, it’s a slightly effervescent tongue treat that will get you up and going. If the sativa wasn’t enough, there’s also 90 mgs of caffeine, taurine, guarana seed extract, ginseng and more. We love that it’s made with Colorado sparkling water, sweetened with agave nectar and medicated with water-extracted trichomes, keeping as much artificial stuff out as possible. The 50mg dosage is perfect, too, if you’re a seasoned cannabis pro who wants a nice uptick during the day without being in the unenviable position of being very medicated and wide awake. With spring at our door steps, pop a Flo and get after all that yard work you’ve been looking forward to all winter. It’ll make it 100 percent more enjoyable.

Glowing Goat #5 Thanks to The Simpsons, America has a healthy fear of the nuclear energy industry. After all, the goggles do nothing! When we found Glowing Goat #5 at Denver’s Southwest Alternative Care, we couldn’t help but think of a certain three-eyed fish. But get a bag immediately. A cross between The White and Golden Goat, this hybrid is one of the more unique strains we’ve run across lately. Resembling its eponymous animal, tufts of red hairs jut out like tiny goatees. As for the “glow,” that comes from some truly impressive resin production. Spicy, yet fruity, it reminded us of a mango with a splash of Sriracha added for kick. Great for appetite stimulation (as opposed to Sriracha mangoes) and nagging pain, we’d recommend this strain for a lunch date or a quick happy hour. It’s not too overwhelming and won’t keep you up later in the evening. All in all, we’ve got nothing but glowing things to say about it.

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concentrate reviews OG Kush Co2 Extract My Name is Earl wasn’t afraid to talk cannabis, especially when it came to Darnell “The Crabman” and his awesome garden. If Element Four20 in Denver wanted to go with My Name is Errl, I wouldn’t blame them. Translucent with a reddish-orange tint, its OG Kush Co2 Extract packs a serious punch in a portable vape or a glass rig. Like a fresh pair of Jordans, they managed to keep all of that OG rubber intact, a huge whiff of which will slap you across the face just opening the small makeup case. We appreciated how potent this particular oil was, immediately helping to calm muscles spasm that were acting up for patient reviewers that require a LOT of concentrates to feel better. For oil, it was pleasantly easy to work with, as it was more like the consistency of honey than more viscous extracts we’ve tried in the past.

Elite Extracts Super Critical Co2 Oil Some of the best joints we’ve ever smoked were amalgamations of all the buds we had left over at the bottom of our jars. Frankenstoned, if you will. iVita Wellness, with two locations in Denver, has a mysterious hybrid combination of budder that won us over on our last visit. Dark red in tone, this is what Mars would be made of in our wildest dreams. The rovers would not come back. The flavor is mellow, with hints of lemongrass and earthiness maintained, although not particularly pronounced. The consistency is great if you like to play with your budder before dabbing, as it’s malleable without winding up all over your hands. We found the effects leaned more to the indica side—not dropping us to sleep, mind you, but giving a nice relaxation that could transition to catching some Zs if need be.

The Tangerine Tokin The legend of RiverRock Wellness’ “Bho Johnson” continues to spread, as he continues to whip up some of the craziest concentrates we’ve had the pleasure to paddle. We were speechless, however, when we saw the latest creation: The Tangerine Tokin. Made from Tangerine Haze and Tokin OG, this thing has more layers to it than an episode of Game of Thrones. Start with the base, a coin made from the Tangerine, then add a cannabis leaf imprint (because why not?) made from the Tokin. Then add some Tangerine Haze compound powder to the mix. The result was one of the most stable glass/shatters out there with amazing terpene retention. Flavorful and smooth, we definitely noted more of the citrus than traditional OG flavors. Definitely a chatty buzz, you’ll want to have someone around to talk their ear off. Or just brag about your cool canna-coin. Legal Disclaimer

The publishers of this publication are not making any representations with respect to the safety or legality of the use of medical cannabis concentrates. The reviews listed here are for general entertainment purposes only, and are intended for use only when medical cannabis is not a violation of state law. Please consume responsibly. Under Colorado Constitution’s Article XVII and the Colorado Medical Marijuana Code, “medical marijuana” is considered any “usable form of marijuana” which is defined as “any mixture or preparation” from “the seeds, leaves, buds and flowers of the plant (genus) cannabis” that is appropriate for medical use. (Colo. Const. Article XVIII, Section 14)

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Photos by Allan Amato

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Being Blunt

Filmmaker and cannabis icon Kevin Smith dishes about why he converted to the cannabis cause by David Jenison

If Hollywood horror movies taught us anything, it’s don’t bully the wrong kid if don’t want him to slash everyone to bits at the high school reunion. Enter Kevin Smith, the indie filmmaker who got a seat at the Hollywood table but not on a Southwest airplane. The indie icon plans to retire the director’s chair in 2014, but he’s basically donned a hockey mask for his current slate of podcasts and live events. He humorously trashes Bruce Willis, Tim Burton, Jon Peters and others he worked with, and God help the person who admits too much, like the assistant who said Prince shops for his clothes in the boys department. His regular podcasts include “Hollywood Babble-On” and “Jay and Silent Bob Get Old,” and his classic Q&A events are often released on DVD. Many of his films are stoner classics, but if he gets his wish to make Clerks 3, it will actual be his first comedy movie as a regular cannabis user. Naturally, this interview begins with Smith’s late-age conversion.

You did not become a regular cannabis user until Seth Rogen got you into it at age 38. This begs the question, what references did you use for your stoner characters and dialogue? What a great question because, in looking back, the present me wants to call out twentysomething-year-old Kevin Smith as a f@#kin’ fraud. “You don’t know what you are talking about, man!” When I watch those movies now and hear the references to weed and stoner culture, it is clearly written by somebody who thought, “I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ve heard these words.” Now I would re-write it a bit different, and those flicks would spend a lot more time talking about weed. There would always be this moment when someone soliloquies like Linus talking about Jesus in A Charlie Brown Christmas, but in this instance, the soliloquy would be about weed and how good it is and how everyone should get off its back. Thank God I didn’t have that much education [on weed], or we would have spent a lot more time dealing with it back in the day. As far as references, a lot of it was just guesswork, and some was based on stuff [Jason] Mewes would say during his brief tenure as a stoner before moving on to heavier stuff. I based the character of Jay on who he was at age 16 or 17. That was Mewes as a crazy force of nature. There was a panel in this

old Dennis the Menace cartoon book where the neighbor Mr. Wilson saw Dennis walk by and said, “There goes that Mitchell kid. He’s like a sonic boom with dirt on it.” I loved that, and I always remembered it, so whenever I heard of Mewes, I was like, “There he goes. He’s a sonic boom with dirt on it.” I lost the thread of the question. What were we talking about again?

What references you used for your stoner characters. Oh God, we got so far-flung from that. Basically, it was the Jason Mewes of my youth. I remember everything he would say. Your brain freezes things that it recognizes as currency, and you cannot spend it because you don’t know it yourself. Whenever I heard something, I was like, “I’m going to pack that away. This is inside information. This is one of those stoners, and he knows the terminology.” It was like having an insight into a culture that I wasn’t a part of,

“Naturally, [cannabis] should not just be for people who are terminal cases. It should be for anybody.”

but it was definitely a young, 16-year-old Jason Mewes who fully informed all my marijuana references in those movies, even up to the ones later in life. By Clerks 2, I still wasn’t a stoner. Was I? No, I did Zack and Miri [Make a Porno] after that. Do you believe in the legitimacy of medical marijuana use? Oh, hands down, absolutely, in terms of the physical comfort, in terms of inducing appetite in those who don’t have. Set aside the physical medicinal, the psychological medicinal you cannot discount. What it can do for somebody, where it can take them, and I’m not just talking about, “Hey man, it’ll take you on a whacky high journey.” Think about the people for whom medical marijuana is usually recommended, and you are talking about extreme cases. I don’t think I’ve encountered anything in my life that has made me more okay with the notion that one day I’m going to pass from this world than marijuana. If someone is going through something medically traumatic or facing down their end, heavens, [give them] anything that is going to make the transition easy. Naturally, it should not just be for people who are terminal cases. It should be for anybody. It rearranges your mind. At least it did for me. For years, people fed me the same propaganda that you’ll smoke weed and sit there on the couch and just watch movies, but for me, it is a great organizer. MAY 2013 • CULTURE 45


How does cannabis make you more organized? If you think about the brain as a series of folders that you keep creating, weed for me is like a program that puts them all in order alphabetically and allows you to prioritize what is important. That is how I’ve been able to spin so many plates the last few years. My medicinal problem is that I have problems sleeping, and if that is doing it for somebody who has mild medicinal needs like myself, imagine what it can do for people who have absolute medicinal need. Instead of filling them with yet another synthetic narcotic put together chemically in a lab . . . I don’t want to get all stoner on ya, but there is a reason it just grows naturally. It doesn’t have to be produced. It’s not like, “It can only grow in a certain place.” I think nature is always trying to take care of us, and it provides at all given times. We have cannabinoid receptors in the brain, which don’t have many other uses. It points to, I believe, the idea that weed is something we are all naturally supposed to be ingesting. Of course, it has a cultural stigma, but that seems to be slowly sliding away. Tell me about the Q&A events you do around the country. I grew up listening to comics. My father worked at the post office, and he would bring home all these comedy records. He said he bought them from a friend who sold them out of his trunk at lunchtime, but I bet my old man took a few from the Colombia Records Club as they came through the mail. I love comedians, and I have too much respect for what they do to ever consider myself in the same league. Those cats have a real job, and I’m a carpetbagger. I just consider myself, “Oh, I made those movies and answer questions about them,” but the podcasts and live stuff enable me to be more like a comic. I am able to be more observational and tell more stories, like, “When I was working on the Prince documentary . . .” You really take it to celebrities in these events. Is the idea to let 46 CULTURE • MAY 2013

people see what happens behind the curtain in Hollywood? Yeah, totally. You should pull back the curtain. When I started doing the Q&As, I always felt I needed to answer questions the way I would have wanted them answered. I have been to a few panels and Q&As, and nobody wants to dish. For me, I would want to know details. I would want to know who is an asshole and who is not. Before going out on stage to do Q&A or “Hollywood Babble-On” or anything else, I say this dopey little prayer. Immediately you alienate a bunch of people when I say “prayer,” and you can find Jesus in this as much as you want, but this is my dopey little prayer. I say, “Lord, please just let me be honest. As long as I am honest, everything will be okay.” I have this philosophy that people are lied to and sold to and spun so often

that all you have to do is throw a little f@#kin’ candor out there and you pop for most everybody. They can recognize honesty, and then they give you a little credit for the next few things you say. It’s like, “Oh shit, he just told me his dick is small and Bruce Willis hates him, so I’ll believe the next 15 things coming out of his mouth.” For me, it was always pulling back the curtain a little bit and saying, “Look what I saw! Look what I learned!” In the Too Fat for 40 event, you are asked to describe working with Bruce Willis. How does that question turn into a 10 minutes story about getting stoned and taking a two-hour dump? You just got to be able to follow tangents. As long as you can land the plane . . . I saw Flight a couple weeks back, and that is kind of how I like to tell stories. Not on

“For years, people fed me the same propaganda that you’ll smoke weed and sit there on the couch and just watch movies, but for me, it is a great organizer.”

coke and drunk from the night before à la Denzel [Washington]’s character, but in the middle of telling the story, sometimes you got to flip the plane. As long as you can bring them in for a landing safely, the crowd will go anywhere. They will let you tell a story about taking shit even though they want to know what it’s like to work with Bruce Willis, and if I were a better storyteller, I would have summed up with how it is kind of the same thing. You had a lot of tangents off that one question. That was one of my proudest achievements as a storyteller. It was after the Southwest [Airlines] thing, and I had given myself over to living more fearlessly. Even though I looked like shit—in Too Fat for 40 I looked like dudes should be holding me down with ropes—I decided to go for it. I wanted to take one question and do two hours of stories that I had saved up. If you look at the stage, there is a park bench outside a fake Quick Stop and RST Video. On the floor by the park bench, I tapped down buzzwords for each story, like “Willis in Die Hard” and “Southwest” and “My Dad.” If I ever lost my place, I could saunter back there, see what stories I haven’t told yet and dive back into it. I just needed one question to begin with, and blessed f@#kin’ be, the first guy who gets up asks, “What is it like to work with Bruce Willis?” I was like, “Oh shit, I can go anywhere off this one.” It was funny because some cats got irritated when they watched it on TV and said, “It’s Q&A, and he only answered one question.” We didn’t have the heart to tell them that, after we ended the show, I came out and did another two hours of Q&A. You also have “Hollywood Babble-On” with Ralph Garman, which features segments like Movies That Will Suck. How do you pick which segments you do each week? Ralph is definitely the author of “Hollywood Babble-On,” and I’m the guy who sits there and reacts. The content changes every week based on the news, of course, but V I S I T U S AT i R e a d C u l t u r e . c o m


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we hit all the favorite bits. I know he swapped out Creepy Clown for doing the Green Lantern oath through a variety of different voices and characters. You can totally expect David Bowie, and I’ll be grabbing my own boobs and trying to suck them, as per usual. Seeing a live Kevin Smith boob suck must be better than just hearing it. It’s a good time. “Babble-On” lets me exercise a bunch of muscles I didn’t get to exercise while I was just making films, particularly the early films when it was all about being a filmmaker. “I don’t make movies, I make films, cinema.” There was precious little call for, “Pardon me while I grab my boobs and try to suck my own nipple.” The latest Hollywood news is that Hit Somebody will be a television miniseries and Clerks 3 will be your final movie. Is that still the plan? I’d been trying to get Hit Somebody done for two years as a flick when I realized, if I turn it into a miniseries, I can take my time telling the story I want to tell. That change opened up what I call my “last slot.” There is a self-imposed “I’m getting out of directing feature films,” but I need one last movie. For the last year, people kept asking, “If you are really going to retire, why are you doing it with a hockey movie? Why don’t you do it with Clerks 3 instead?” I thought, “That is a bit obvious, isn’t it?” For the very reason you ask, as an artist, I think I should not do Clerks 3. However, once I started talking about Hit Somebody as a miniseries, I immediately started seeing tweets. “Hey man, if that’s not your last film, then what about Clerks 3?” That is the wonderful thing about Twitter . . . you get instant feedback on all your decisions. Finally, I decided to let them know what I’d been thinking for a while. If this becomes this, that does free up my last slot to be Clerks 3, but the question mark is always going to be getting Jeff [Anderson] aboard. Do you think it will happen? I’m happy to do the movie. I love these characters, and I built my 50 CULTURE • MAY 2013

“I believe the idea that ‘cannabis’ is something we are all naturally supposed to be ingesting. Of course, it has a cultural stigma, but that seems to be slowly sliding away.” entire adult life—in the imaginary world, in the real world—on the backs of Dante and Randal. I have stories to tell, and I have one that closes it all up. Jeff Anderson, who plays Randal, absolutely has to signoff and jump onboard. He is Randal. It’s not like you can just recast him, and why would you want to? It is a journey that a few of us have taken together over the last 20 years. That would be me, Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson, Brian O’Halloran, Scott Mosier and David Klein. If I can keep that core together, I have something special to begin with, but I couldn’t imagine doing it without Jeff. His whole thing is, “I didn’t want to do the second one, and then we did it, and I liked it a lot. But for the same reason I didn’t want to do the second one, and now at the crossroads of the third, why do we need to do it? Is there a need to tell the story?” I guess he is our Jiminy Cricket who keeps us honest. We are hopefully slowly cruising toward a 2014 start and finish, so I essentially have a year to convince him. The story is good. The story will convince him

once he reads it—hopefully, hopefully—but I have a backup plan . . . 2014 is the 20th anniversary of Clerks, and we’re going to mark it in some way. Hopefully it will be with a movie, but if not, it will be with something else. Tell me about the pushback you experienced from the film Red State. I was at the epicenter of two pockets of hate over the last few years. With Red State, I got to see a lot of gay hate by virtue of the fact that the [Fred] Phelps [clan] came out and protested a few screenings, and those cats do mean f@#kin’ business. You talk to their relatives

Too Fat to Fly

What’s the price of cheap airfare? Apparently, harassment and discrimination. Smith was removed from a flight after being judged that he was too obese to fly safely, though Southwest tried to justify this with contradictory (and privacy violating) statements. Smith dubbed them “The Greyhound of the Air” and has not flown with them since.

and ask, “They are kidding, right? They are just lawyers trying to make money?” They’re like, “No, no, no. They believe this shit.” The other pocket of hate I dealt with was size-ist. When I went through the “too fat to fly” thing with Southwest [Airlines], a lot of people came out of the woodwork like, “F@#k you, fatty, why don’t you just lose weight and shit?” It felt like the last publicly accepted bias or prejudice is for people of size, fat people. Thin people in this country can’t stand fat people, and fat people usually don’t like themselves that much, so it seems to be an acceptable hate. You can say shit about fat people in public, and it’s not considered a hate crime or an offense or anything like that. I have been in both pools, and I don’t understand when people turn negativity on total strangers . . . If people want to eat a whole pizza instead of one slice, that is their prerogative, so back the f@#k off. Why do you give a shit? I never understood why people get up in the grill of others. Sadly, I have seen it firsthand quite a bit lately, and that is why I live [in my home state]. Everybody here seems to be a bit more free with each other, and I like it. www.facebook.com/YesThat KevinSmith, seesmod.com/groovymovie

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2007

1994

Smith creates SModcast, a podcast he came up with alongside creative partner/ co-host Scott Mosier. It features shows like “Hollywood Babble-On,”“Jay and Silent Bob Get Old” and “Fatman on Batman.”

Clerks wins the filmmakers trophy at the Sundance Film Festival. Not a bad way to start out your film career.

1997

Smith opens his own comic book/novelty store, Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, in Red Bank, New Jersey.

1999

Smith writes Guardian Devil (an eight-issue Daredevil story arc of Daredevil) for Marvel Comics and Green Arrow for DC Comics.

2008

While filming Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Smith gets a puff of inspiration from Seth Rogan: smoking cannabis while making movies increases the creative process. Genius!

2010

Southwest Airlines kicks Smith off a flight because of “safety concerns.” You know the rest.

2001

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back brings the lovable stoners to Hollywood on a quest filled with doobie snacks, an orangutan and love for a gorgeous jewel thief.

2006

2012

Comic Book Men on AMC (yup, the home of Mad Men) lets you nerd out as you follow every fanboy’s dream of buying, selling and talking about mind-blowing pop culture artifacts.

Clerks II garners Smith the Audience Award at the 2006 Edinburgh International Film Festival.

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cool stuff Waffle-Making Typewriter Typewriters may be retro . . . but waffles never go out of style! Enter Chris Dimino’s Waffle-Making Typewriter— made with the body of an actual Smith-Corona Coronamatic typewriter. It started off as a one-off and will soon be mass-produced. Would you like some maple syrup to go with your QWERTY? www.chrisdimino.com

DabR If reliability, durability and versatility are the hallmarks of tomorrow’s portable vaporizers, than DabR has the market cornered today. Capable of vaporizing everything—herbs, flowers, oils, waxes—this pen vape is truly a four-in-one accessory that handles any patients’ needs under all circumstances. Flowers or extracts— DabR goes above and beyond. ($99.95) www.dabrusa.com

TH3 E Smoke Vape pens were once a dot on the horizon. Now, the technology is so advanced, you can ditch ’em when you’re done. Enter the TH3 E Smoke, Colorado’s first disposable portable vape—soon to hit the market in stores across the state. Available in packs with 100 ml of oil each, and without clumsy chargers or buttons to push, you can grab a puff whenever you need without worrying about losing a more expensive model.

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By Aunt Sandy

Menu:

Soupe a l’Oignon (French Onion Soup) w/Infused Croutons Spring Green Salad w/Italian Dressing Apple Crisp Sweet Tea

Whether spring brings us sunshine or snow, it’s always a good time to celebrate the season that reminds us of nature’s fabulous powers of renewal and rebirth. To ease us away from winter’s grip, we’ve come up with this light, refreshing menu. Season’s greetings.

Sandy Moriarty is the author of Aunt’ Sandy’s Medical Marijuana Cookbook: Comfort Food for Body & Mind and a Professor of Culinary Arts at Oaksterdam University. She is also the co-founder of Oaksterdam’s Bakery. 56 CULTURE • MAY 2013

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Soupe a l’Oignon (French Onion Soup) Serves eight 1 1/2 lbs. (about 5 cups) yellow onion, thinly sliced 3 tablespoons Canna Butter* 1 tablespoon Cannabis Infused Oil** 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon sugar 3 tablespoons flour 2 quarts of boiling brown stock (or canned beef bouillon) 1/2 cup dry white wine, cognac or dry sherry Salt and pepper to taste  Cook onions slowly over low hear in a heavy bottom, 4-quart covered saucepan with the Butter and Oil for 15 minutes. Uncover, raise heat to medium and stir in salt and sugar (it helps the onions to brown). Cook for 45 minutes, stirring frequently, until onions have turned an even, deep golden brown. Sprinkle in the flour and stir for three minutes. Turn off the heat and blend in the boiling stock (or bouillon). Add the wine, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Simmer partially covered for 45 minutes. Set aside uncovered until ready to serve. Then reheat to simmer. Garnish with Infused Croutons.

Infused Croutons 1 French baguette 1/2 cup Canna Butter* Garlic salt Slice the baguette into cubes, enough to make about three cups. In a skillet, melt the Butter. Toss in the bread cubes and toast until they are golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Season with garlic salt.

Spring Green Salad Serves eight Iceberg lettuce Red leaf lettuce Spinach Romaine Endive Watercress, etc. Wash a selected choice of greens for your salad and dry well. Break into pieces and put it into a large salad bowl. Garnish your salad with your choice of cherry tomatoes, olives, beets, carrots, cucumber, fennel slices, celery, red or yellow peppers, onions, nuts, pickles, capers, etc. Serve with Infused Croutons and Italian Dressing.

Italian Dressing

4 tablespoons wine vinegar 1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard 12 tablespoon Cannabis Infused Oil** 2 pinches of pepper 1/2 tablespoon minced parsley 1/2 tablespoon minced chives 1/2 tablespoon minced tarragon 1/2 tablespoon minced basil

Pour all of the ingredients together in a jar. Replace the screw top on the jar and shake vigorously for 30 seconds to blend thoroughly. MAY 2013 • CULTURE 57


Apple Crisp Serves SIX 4 cups sliced tart apples 2 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup Canna Butter*  1/2 tablespoon salt  1 tablespoon cinnamon Vanilla ice cream (optional)

  Bake in an ovenproof dish that you can serve at the table. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Pare, core and slice apples into a 9-inch pie pan or dish and add lemon juice. Work the flour, brown sugar, Butter, salt and cinnamon with a pastry blender or with your finger tips. The mixture must be worked so that it does not become oily. Spread these crumbly ingredients over the apples. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve hot or cold and garnish with a scoop of vanilla ice cream if desired.

 Sweet Tea 4 bags of your favorite tea 1 quart of water 1/4 cup Cannabis Infused Simple Syrup*** Ice cubes Spring of mint, lemon wedge, etc. as garnish

  Combine water and your favorite tea bags in a glass jar. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Remove the tea bags and add Syrup. Serve over ice cubes. Garnish with mint, a lemon wedge . . . or Infused Rum.

Cannabis Infused Oil** 1 cup cooking oil 1 1/4 ounces low to average quality dried leaf cannabis or 3/4 ounce average dried bud Place cannabis in a slow cooker. Add oil. If necessary, add a little extra oil in order to just cover the cannabis. Cook on low for six to eight hours, stirring often. Strain through cheesecloth to remove plant material. For further purity, strain through a coffee filter. Store in the refrigerator for up to three months.

Canna Butter* 1 cup unsalted butter 1 ounce low to average quality dried leaf marijuana or 1/2 ounce average dried bud 4 cups water Bring water and butter to boil in a small pot, lower heat to simmer. Simmer gently for about 1 1/2 hours. Mash and stir frequently to extract all THC from the plant material. After cooking, use cheesecloth to strain the butter/water mixture. Pour about 2 cups clean boiling water over the leaves in the strainer to extract every last drop of butter. Squeeze plant material well to remove as much liquid as possible. Chill the butter/water mixture in the refrigerator until the butter has solidified (1 to 2 hours). Separate butter from water and keep butter in the refrigerator (or freezer for longer storage) until needed. 58 CULTURE • MAY 2013

 Cannabis Infused Simple Syrup*** 1/2 oz. cannabis buds 1 cup sugar 1 cup water In a saucepan, sauté the buds in sugar and water over medium heat for 20 minutes. Strain the buds. Pour the remaining green-colored syrup into a glass container. Let it cool and refrigerate.

Legal Disclaimer

Publishers of this publication are not making any representations with respect to the safety or legality of the use of medical marijuana. The recipes listed here are for general entertainment purposes only, and are intended for use only where medical marijuana is not a violation of state law. Edibles can vary in potency while a consumers’ weight, metabolism and eating habits may affect effectiveness and safety. Ingredient management is important when cooking with cannabis for proper dosage. Please consume responsibly and check with your doctor before consumption to make sure that it is safe to do so. V I S I T U S AT i R e a d C u l t u r e . c o m


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Shooting Gallery

GET YOUR CLICK HERE

www.iReadCulture.com

Special 4:20 Early Show: Method Man & Redman (Photos by Joel Meaders)

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Shooting Gallery

High Times US Cannabis Cup (Photos by Rick Thompson)

Cannapages’ High Society Recreational Guild Presents “Four-Twenty Eve” (Photos by Joel Meaders)

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entertainment reviews She & Him Volume 3 Merge Records Hipster queen Zooey Deschanel and neo-folkster/alt-country genius M. Ward have returned with their ensemble She & Him, to bring us their third installment of original and gorgeous material. Volume 3, much like their previous two albums, is a wonderful return to the glory days of classic, large-sounding pop records, like the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds or any album that Phil Spector produced. Volume 3 also shows Ward and Deschanel evolving their sound to incorporate more contemporary influences and styles. The enveloping sonicsoundscapes of soaring string arrangements and swirling background vocals are still intact, along with vintage-toned guitars and basses. The record seems to be less of a tribute to their influences than previous efforts, and more of a distinctive vision for the duo that draws on classic stylings while creating something wholly unique. Volume 3 shows continued growth from She & Him and proves that the group is more than just a pair of famous names, but instead a songwriting and production duo of which to be in awe. (Simon Weedn)

Memoirs of Dennis Peron: How a Gay Hippy Outlaw Legalized Marijuana in Response to the AIDS Crisis By Dennis Peron & John Entwistle, Jr. Medical Use Publishing House Upon first impression, Dennis Peron comes off like a disrespected pothead, complaining about the way life has (mis)treated him at the start of his biography, Memoirs of Dennis Peron: How a Gay Hippy Outlaw Legalized Marijuana in Response to the AIDS Crisis. However, when this wide-ranging book eventually gets to the section where Peron fights for passage of California’s Proposition 215, the Compassionate Use Act of 1996, where marijuana is “legalized” as medicine— particularly to help heal the pain and suffering caused by the AIDS epidemic in Peron’s San Francisco hometown—his image is subtly transformed from that of a loser, into a true leader. This book is part biography, part marijuana legalization manifesto and Peron (with John Entwistle’s editorial help) sometimes cannot decide if he’s writing a political opinion piece or a life story. However, it’s difficult to blame Peron for his tendency to digress because political causes are his life story, so the book would be incomplete without these various activist elements. With these editing flaws aside though, this book nevertheless offers an essential historical snapshot of one peaceful warrior in America’s lengthy war on cannabis. (Dan MacIntosh)

Cloud Atlas Warner Bros. Siblings Lana and Andy Wachowski (The Matrix Trilogy) return, along with Tom Tykwer (The International, Run Lola Run), to direct what was thought to be an un-makeable film adaptation of bestselling novel Cloud Atlas. Along with an exquisite cast of stars including Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Susan Sarandon and Hugh Grant, who take on a variety of rolls, the Wachowskis and Tykwer majestically weave together six unique stories that stretch across the fabric of time to show how the actions of an individual can ripple out to affect the actions of those in the future. In what can be best described as a period-piece meets folk-tale meets sci-fi action movie, the directors manage to create a film that is both lucid and well thought out. The only thing that can take a bit of getting used to is the narrative style, which jumps between periods and stories from time to time, without warning. However, for the viewer who can adjust to the unique storytelling, the reward is a gorgeous and epic tale, which not only dazzles the eyes, but also presents an interesting philosophy on human existence. For these reasons, Cloud Atlas is definitely not one to miss. (Simon Weedn) 64 CULTURE • MAY 2013

An Evening with Michael Pollan

Do you trust your food, or even where it comes from? We’re not just talking about fast food places here (though those should obviously raise a few flags for you). Writer Michael Pollan has been documenting and researching the effects of the American diet and the results are rather astounding. He’s completely comprehensive, going beyond average or stereotypical meals and examining lifestyles, pills and more. He’s also ready to answer any questions people may have about his published works (The Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food, etc.) and is holding an open talk to the law students of University of Denver. Pollan’s 2001 book The Botany of Desire, examined the relationship between humans and four particular plants (apples, tulips, potatoes and cannabis) and how this is reflected in the way we grow, breed and genetically engineer them. Pollan’s talk (part of an effort to hype up his new book Cooked) is open to everyone so we all can take the opportunity to engage in some dialogue with one of the foremost and controversial authors in the world of food. There’s a fair chance that you may never look at your dinner—or cannabis— the same way again.

IF YOU GO

What: An Evening with Michael Pollan. When/Where: May 8 at the University of Denver, 2255 E. Evans Ave., Denver. Info: $35. Go to www.tatteredcover.com or call (303) 322-7727.

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When you start getting up there in age, pain and illness sometimes come along for the ride. Joint, neck and back pain are common, the threat of diabetes may loom and dementia is one of those diseases that older folks need to monitor. And while there are various medical options out there . . . one of them is medical cannabis. And it seems that more older Americans are utilizing the blessed plant then in previous years, according to The New York Times and statistics from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. Some of the use is medical—the Times spoke to a Crohn’s disease sufferer—but some of it is for social (read: recreational) purposes. In 2002, about 2.7 percent of adults ages 50 to 59 reported using cannabis, according to the National Survey. In 2011, that number rose to 6.3 percent. Some older cannabis even speak about organizing “Grannies for Grass” groups in several states. Visiting grandma this summer suddenly got very interesting. c

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Montel Williams has publicly spoken up about the benefits of medical cannabis—the former talk-show host and health advocate uses the plant to treat the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. He’s not slowing down any time soon. Williams recently spoke with The Huffington Post to discuss MMJ. “[Marijuana] is like any other plant-based medicine,” he told HuffPost Live host Ahmed ShihabEldin. Williams also called for the government and pharmaceutical industry to back research into cannabis compounds to come up with “quality medication.” On a related note, the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry published a report last year on how cannabis extracts can help relieve the symptoms of multiple sclerosis, such as painful muscle stiffness. Ninety percent of MS sufferers are estimated to experience this type of stiffness. A 2012 Canadian medical journal published a study that demonstrated similar results. c

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let’s do this Our picks for the coolest things to do around town

A Taste of Boulder Dining Tour If you’ve ever been told that Boulder has some of the best restaurants around . . . try your luck at A Taste of Boulder Dining Tour and see if you believe the hype. The city’s indie eateries promise to entice you with cocktails, dinner and desserts. No foodie hotspot will be left unturned. Loosen up yer belts. Boulder www.localtabletours.com

Kathy Griffin. May 10 The D-list celebrity we all knew has to have moved up to at least a C-lister now that she’s hosting her own late-night talk show. It’s amazing that this pop-culture obsessing, plastic-surgery loving woman can even find the time for stand-up anymore. Buell Theatre, Denver www.kathygriffin.net  

Ron White: A Little Unprofessional, May 17

Don’t let the caption fool you, this purebred redneck is all about business when it comes to making you laugh. He just may seem unprofessional because he enjoys a stiff drink and cigar while on stage. Buell Theatre, Denver www.tatersalad.com  

Global Dub Festival, May 17

Lights, glow sticks, dubstep. Feel the heavy hitting beats of Flux Pavilion, Excision, Dirtyphonics and Designer Drugs. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Morrison www.redrocksonline.com

Five Points Jazz Festival, May 18 One, two, three, four . . . let the rhythm of jazz rock your door. The music, culture and history are all free in this historic Five Points area event. Five Points, Denver  www.artsandvenuesdenver.com  

Vampire Weekend, May 20

Everyone should be excited for this lineup that features songs from across the world. The quirky sounds of New York will join together with the folksy tunes of Iceland

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for a night filled with great music.  Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Morrison www.redrocksonline.com  

ice cream social and more await. Telluride Town Park, Telluride www.mountainfilm.org

The Lady Wu, May 24

Soundgarden, May 28

Twenty years of spreading the message of Wu has spawned more than legions of killa beez . . . it has inspired nine women to invade the hip-hop game as the ultimate tribute to The W.  Cervantes’ Masterpiece, Denver www.cervantesmasterpiece.com

You should spend an evening picking through your favorite garden and remember the grungy goodness that will never die out because it comes from the one, the only . . . Chris Cornell. And some other old dudes. 1st Bank Center, Broomfield www.1stbankcenter.com  

Downtown Denver Arts Festival, May 24-May 26 Looking for a free way to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend? Check out the amazing works by Colorado-based visual artists that conceive it all: paintings, sculptures, pottery and more. Denver Performing Arts Complex, Denver www.downtowndenverartsfestival.com  

Mountainfilm, May 24-27

Inspiring. That’s how one of America’s longest running film festivals is described. Independent documentary films from around the world, art and photography exhibits, an

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The Green and The Expendables, May 30

Rock to the feel-good vibes of some of the world’s best bands that know how to light up a crowd with strands of roots, reggae, pop and punk. Bluebird Theater, Denver www.bluebirdtheater.net  

Bassnectar, May 31

Bass has never tasted as sweet as this. Get ready for your body to get bombarded by the deep beats that only Bassnectar is capable of generating. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Morrison www.redrocksonline.com

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Chuck Shepherd

News of the

Weird

LEAD STORY— UNDOCUMENTED LIVING

; Undocumented immigrant Jose Munoz, 25, believed himself an ideal candidate for President Obama’s 2012 safe-harbor initiative for illegal-entry children, in that he had been brought to the U.S. by his undocumented parents before age 16, had no criminal record and had graduated from high school (with honors, even). Since then, however, he had remained at home in Sheboygan, Wis., assisting his family, doing odd jobs and, admittedly, just playing video games and “vegging.” Living “in the shadows,” he found it almost impossible to prove the final legal criterion: that he had lived continuously in the U.S. since graduation (using government records, payroll sheets, utility bills, etc.). After initial failures to convince immigration officials, reported the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel in March, Munoz’s lawyer succeeded—by submitting Munoz’s Xbox Live records, documenting that his computer’s Wisconsin location had been accessing video games, day after day, for years.

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION!

; Among the lingering costs of U.S. wars are disability payments and compensation to veterans’ families, which can continue decades after hostilities end. An Associated Press analysis of federal payment records, released in March, even found two current recipients of Civil War benefits. Vietnam war payments are still about $22 billion a year, World War II, $5 billion, World War I, $20 74 CULTURE • MAY 2013

million, and the 1898 SpanishAmerican war, about $1,700. ; Each year, Oklahoma is among the states to receive $150,000 federal grants to operate small, isolated airfields (for Oklahoma, one in the southern part of the state is so seldom used that it is primarily a restroom stop for passing pilots). The payments are from a 13-year- old congressional fund for about 80 similar airfields (no traffic, no planes kept on site), described by a February Washington Post investigation as “ATM(s) shaped like (airports).” Congress no longer even requires that the annual grants be spent on the actual airports drawing the grants. ; During the massive February Southern California manhunt for former Los Angeles cop Christopher Dorner, nervous-triggered LAPD officers riddled an SUV with bullets after mistakenly believing Dorner was inside. Instead there were two women, on their early-morning job as newspaper carriers, and LAPD Chief Charlie Beck famously promised them a new truck and arranged with a local dealership for a 2013 Ford F-150 ($32,560). However, the deal fell through in March when the women discovered that Beck’s “free” truck was hardly free. Rather, it would be taxable as a “donation,” reported on IRS Form 1099, perhaps costing them thousands of dollars.

GREAT ART!

; Sculptor Richard Jackson introduced “Bad Dog” as part of his “Ain’t Painting a Pain” installation at California’s Orange County Museum in February. Outside, to coax visitors in, Jackson’s “Bad Dog’s” hind leg was cocked, with V I S I T U S AT i R e a d C u l t u r e . c o m


gallons of yellow paint being pumped onto the building. “We’ll see how long it lasts,” he told the Los Angeles Times, “but you never know how people will react.” “Sometimes, people feel they should protect their children from such things, then the kids go home and watch South Park.”

; Career-Ending Jobs for Runway Models: British “design engineer” Jess Eaton introduced her second “high-fashion” collection in December at London’s White Gallery, this time consisting of supposedly elegant bridal wear made in part with roadkill, cat and alpaca fur, seagull wings and human bones.

; Australian dilettante David Walsh’s 2-year-old Museum of Old and New Art in Hobart is acquiring a reputation for irreverence. Among the exhibits is Greg Taylor’s “My Beautiful Chair,” which invites a visitor to lie next to a lethal injection chair and experience a countdown, mimicking the time it takes for execution drugs to kill (and then flashing “You Are Dead”). Also, at 2 p.m. each day, a “fresh fecal masterpiece” is created by artist Wim Delvoye, in which a meal from the museum’s restaurant is placed into a transparent grinder that creates slush, turns it brown, and adds an overpowering defecation-like smell. The resulting “masterpiece” is channeled into (also transparent) vats.

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION

; U.S. political consultants may recommend to their candidates gestures such as wearing an American flag lapel pin. In India, the advice includes creating the proper suggestive name for the candidate on the official ballot. Hence, among those running for office this year (according to a February Hindustan Times report): Frankenstein Momin, Hamletson Dohling, Boldness Nongum and Bombersing Hynniewta, and several Sangmas (related or not): Billykid Sangma, Mafiara Sangma, Rightious Sangma and Winnerson Sangma. More confusing were Hilarius Dkhar and Hilarius Pohchen and especially Adolf Lu Hitler Marak.

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PERSPECTIVE

; Some Third-Worlders eat dirt because they are mentally ill or have no meaningful food. However, diners at Tokyo’s upscale Ne Quittez Pas eat it because it is a trendy dish prepared by prominent chef Toshio Tanabe. Among his courses are soil soup served with a flake of dirty truffle, soil sorbet and the “soil surprise” (a dirt-covered potato ball). (Spoiler alert: It has a truffle center.) Tanabe lightly precooks his dirt and runs it through a sieve to eliminate the crunchiness.

POLICE REPORTS

; In some jurisdictions, a driver can be presumed impaired with a blood alcohol reading as low as .07 (and suggestively impaired at a reading below that), but according to a WMAQ-TV investigation in February, some suburban Chicago police forces allow officers to work with their own personal readings as high as .05. (While officers may be barred from driving at that level, they may not, by police union contract, face any discipline

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if they show up for work with a reading that high.)

SNAIL MAIL: THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT

; Wait . . . What? A startup company in Austin, Texas, also serving San Francisco, promises to take its customers’ incoming U.S. mail three times a week, photograph it and deliver it back to the customers via mobile phone app, for $4.99 a month. The company, Outbox, provides some value-added services, removing the customer from junk-mail lists and paying bills. Still, Outbox’s unorthodox business model assumes that a growing number of people absolutely hate opening, filing or discarding pieces of paper. Co-founder Will Davis told CNN in February that at least he does not fear competition: “No one is crazy enough to do what we’re doing.”

OOPS!

; College basketball player Shanteona Keys makes free throws at a 78 percent rate for her career, but

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on Feb. 16, she weakly shanked one of those 15-foot shots, causing it to thud to the floor about eight feet short of the rim—the worst collegiate free-throw attempt of all time, according to several sports commentators who viewed the video. Keys explained to Deadspin. com that she always brings the ball close to her face when she shoots, “and my fingernail got caught on my nose, so I couldn’t follow through correctly.” Her Georgia College (Milledgeville, Ga.) team lost to rival Columbus State, 70-60.

FAMILY VALUES

; Rachel Hope and Parker Williams, both apparently intelligent and attractive, decided to procreate and fully raise a child together—even though neither has romantic intentions toward the other. Their relationship is likened to a business one, according to a February New York Times profile, in which they do their respective biological duties, separately, and then each basically outsources half the subsequent child-rearing to the other. Said another parent in a similar relationship: “When you

think about the concept of the village, and how the village was part of child-rearing for so many cultures . . . it makes total sense.”

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

; Professor Peter Froehlich, who teaches computer science classes at the highly competitive Johns Hopkins University, contractually grades “on a curve,” automatically marking the highest grade an A, with other grades trailing based on their proximity to the class’s best. One clever student tried to organize the entire class for December’s final exam, to persuade everyone to do no work at all—thus rendering the “highest” grade a zero, meaning an A for everyone. (Of course, if a single student broke ranks, everyone except that student would receive an absolute zero.) Fortunately for the students, according to InsideHigherEd.com, the class held together, and a shocked professor Froehlich nonetheless honored his contract, giving everyone an A (but subsequently closing the loophole).

; Thieves broke into the home of Earlie Johnson in Muskegon, Mich., in February and made off with several flat-screen TVs, but what really irked him was that they also stole his entire DVD pornography collection, consisting, he said, of the films of every African-American porn star since the 1970s. (“I’m not no scum bag guy, pervert, or nothing like that,” he told WZZM-TV. “I just thought it was cool to own my own porn collection. It keeps my relationship (with his fiancé) fresh and tight.”) As soon as the news of Johnson’s misfortune spread, several adult video companies donated DVDs to help restore the collection.

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW

; Even though the British government refused to grant trademark protection to the Italian maker of “Jesus Jeans” because it would be “morally offensive to the public,” the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office had no such qualms and approved the application in 2007. Since then, according

to a February Wall Street Journal story, the company has prevented a dozen other companies from using such clothing names as “Jesus First,” “Sweet Jesus,” “Jesus Couture” and, most recently, “Jesus Surfed.”

PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US

; A persevering Brooklyn, N.Y., high school teacher, Ronald Grassel, finally relented and submitted himself to a psychiatric evaluation that had originally been ordered in 1997 after he angrily and overenthusiastically dumped teachers’ union literature in his principal’s office. Grassel had refused the exam and been benched, and for 14 years was neither fired nor paid while he filed a series of unsuccessful legal actions to overturn the decision. According to a March New York Post report, when he finally submitted to an exam in 2011, he was declared fit (his world-class obstinacy apparently not counting against him) and in September 2012 was back on the job.

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CMCO-May2013