Chapter 1 - Don't Tell My Wife I'm a Cult Leader

Chapter 1 STEINBERG & DIAZ

CHAPTER 1

by Jocelyn Diaz

Created

No dice, Floyd. Kumquats aren’t In season.

Webster s defines Apocalypse as an event of great destruction

But many scholars suggest it means a great uncovering or revelation

If you re reading this it means I m already dead

Game over man NAY I have not yet begun to fight

O people of the world I Floyd Landers must tell you MY SIDE Of the story the TRUTH to counter the lies now filling The airwaves It all started when we first met back in

One morning that fall a wake up call changed the course of my life

I was seen off with a heartfelt goodbye and set my sights on the infinite vistas of opportunity

Everywhere I walked the people of Denton Texas met me with boundless cheer and limitless hospitality

ONE WAY

literally get your butt off my stoops.

FRY STREET HISTORIC DISTRICT

ol pig csoes, fly.

WA’S EE OE TS ERY?

gt ls, daba.

I turned down their charity Instead I chose to dwell in solitude with Mother Nature I found comfort in her loving embrace

{Ahm} ae yu te nw wi i fo iio ve?

ww, te nie i. bae a hisom o cah a pry?

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Your lucky number is 15.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) Screw it. If you’re gonna do it, just do it. Your lucky drink is coffee.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) Something new awaits the adventurer. Your lucky letter is B.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) Seek and ye shall find your heart’s desire. Your lucky direction is east.

ti ir’s ft i sae.

C, SDR, WNS... rnh b te lde. i Thy ko I ws cig?

{Mp?}

But then the universe beckoned me to a place where I found a moment s respite And while in meditative seclusion I received a lucid premonition

lt m ik yu bi.

a w ha it ‘95, MOS i HV Ae T TE te wb, RGT?

mreig css do de t fwr gtkpr.

{pt} gtkpr sck.

{h hpf}

HW CN W CNET TEE ERY AOTR NO POT?

Gra qein.

fr sr.

w ieae ui i’s cepr ad fse ta rig t te soe.

ih o.

Lie uig cs, bt be.

Wht d yu tik?

w sol iet te t ie wee te cn so 2/7.

be ta cs! ta’s or tgie.

mh... tie. Lie i Any Wahl ad Kih hig hd a bb.

yp... at.

Later in the lobby I engaged others with nuanced discourse on the arts

waee yu sy, m mn.

w hnsm, soe bek’s oe.

THEN she appeared I fell captive to her charms like a seaman to a comely siren

hl i bns, bta.

yu wud’t he t hv a sae iaee, wud yu?

js m ls oe.

ad i’s yus.

hy tee...

AND she was drawn to my luminous presence like a moth to a flickering flame

{pt} wa’s aohr pck?

to mal bck?

{uh} dn’t rid m hw mc te cs.

mks m wn t qi.

siul?

cn’t tk yu lck.

qiig’s es.

dn i hnrd o ie.

HH, S WA D YU TN O TE MRL?

I in’t tik m iflecs wud b s oiu.

T’S LK WRO AD HRN TAE U AD HD A BB.

ecet qein.

bie, n oe kos wo toe gy ae aya.

hl u. yu i ti? o, fr sr.

{ih} ya.

hy...

s wa d yu tik Wahl ad hig wud b wrig o i te wr aie?

As they say Iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another I honed her mind with keen observations about her profession

wa d yu tik?

Wahl wud hv md iia at te nx i tig.

ad hig wud b rci’ i on crn sis.

tty. wud hv iae te Sipos.

S WA

D YU D A TE CMPN?

TM T LVL WT HR...

{ H} Toay wud hv.

Mad b te wy.

te c m Fly.

MGN F WRO WS O TE NENT.

YA! LK AD’S PNS, BT TRE U T EEE. MOS VEN HS AT A A OC.

itr a at gey oe 2/7. ta yu cn ii i yu uis.

Lie te fcoy, bt be!

Dag Fly, yu’r mr Wahl ta Wahl.

“w’r ie ti.”

 ws oe pnh il dd.

Floyd. let’s end this peacefully.

hw ‘bu m sip fia?

negative. due to that recall on shellfish...

but we have the queso.

qeo i nt a ma. ty hre, f.

mas... aa! or is ma.

new: cleaner restrooms

Later Mandy and I dined over fine food while sharing our deepest hopes and dreams

i a i frin iy. fr aa fo dd.

ya, m dd die m cay t.

hck,  dn’t ko...

wee d yu s yuslf i ie yas?

 gt i. od mn wn’t id i bie.

nt ee. h’s awy wrig. js ikd a da ih te uieiy

n n, h’s get.

js ik o LVN udr i sao.

{uh} srw ta shl.

She also expanded upon my already sweeping knowledge of both classic and modern art

IN THE BEGINNING Mandy and I spent our evenings laughing at each other singing off key

Months pass and we finally mustered the courage to let our guard down and be vulnerable with one another

ad eog

BLEN AOT WA

YU “CEGE” AD “PR” TN.

yu sy te

sr a yu bcue

te dsie yu at?

Hek n! Thy d ta

t ie te fc te

ae tlnl hck.

s wa yu dd PD

FR at SHL! ic we hs prns hlig ti

is bn a bd tig?

D W bil

CRO SNAA FR

HVN TE PVLG

O GN a GBO

WE H WS EGT?

ad rmmbr hw EE tl i ciis

i WR WS A MPRAT A TE GET PRMD? yu nd t tk yu wr siul o n oe es i gig t.

oa, ic w’r a big siu.

Yo'r T CNCL FLY, F AYN GVS YU EE A NY-WNY BT O AVC, YU TK T A A CAATR AANTO.

te wrd in’t ot t gt yu fly. bcue nwfls te wrd den’t cr aot yu.

yu’r s ari o ciiim yu mk u raos i avne wy te wrd’s wog.

I'm tig yu ti bcue i LV yu. i  in’t,  wud’t bte epliig M SD. s dn’t fek ot, oa?

ya, ntig.

i fl ntig. ntig?

nray I'd b cuhd, bt we i cms fo yu, i fl ie I'm atay al t--

itn?

As time passed we grew closer and I played an integral part in furthering my future wife s artistic success

deep ellum, Dallas

seig o dd...

ta dd tty soe m tgie.

HAMR, HAMR! we got Lew hamr’s daughter here!

HAMR, HAMR! we got Lew hamr’s daughter here! got Lew hamr’s

i i’s aot iig a jb, I’m wrig o i.

{ae} wrig o i?

bt  d hv a jb. hlig yu d yu tig!

a pig jb. ad  dn’t ma big a “iio ve wi i” ihr.

toe iaee ik gv yu wr ky t or soy.

ad a nw jb i b te nx catr, k?

ie, I' jb hn mñaa. poie.

The next morning I hit the pavement full of optimism

lt’s s... to yas epine? ya ie wo hs ie fr ta?

tet hus a wk? u, ta’s srih u saey.

$4.75 a hu? I mk mr sig plsa.

Mr. Karma Koffee

I learned my new friend attended my high school Thus we imbibed deeply from the flagon of nostalgia

Our mirthful moment was interrupted by a tense episode of personal drama

back off everyone! back off!

A volatile and dangerous moment transpired and a gathering mob made it worse But all gave ear to my unruffled voice

I'm nt ari t ue ti!

h’s amd. I'm cig te cp. no one’s calling the fuzz!

As I continued to search for a position where I wasn t overqualified I d check in with Smed periodically to impart inspiration and guidance

hw’d a tee dds ed hr? Wh dn’t yu ak te?

dus? lie? wa? yu tik I'm a due ot lz bm?

{tk}  dn’t ma yu...  s to rnwy, a e-cn ad tr vt. ww, yu ko a te? ya, i’s nt a io, isik.

Smd, I gt i. I’m oe nsy agmn aa fo sig On a crbad mr.

fly, yu hv a kak ih ceig t pol.

nh,  js tlk, mn.

i’s bcue yu’v msee te at o nt iig a ca.

ta sud ie te ms bckadd cmpiet i wrd itr.

lk a u hig ti mn-t-mn. ms pol js bz ih ps te hml.

te’r sae, rig lt o wid wa ohr my tik.

den’t bte m.

ig! Yo dn’t ee nie hw te sr a u we w’r a te ie. dn’t nie, dn’t cr.

yu iieec lt yu t mk a ieec.

The epiphany struck and I realized my mission I was put on earth to serve and bring comfort to the downtrodden But I had to finance my blest endeavor job or no job

fo m la. yu’r te qit vt lig fr a feh sat.

I'm te aiiu yui’ f o hp.

With a perfect credit history I was a shoo in for a low interest loan

I'm sy Mr. ios, bt yu la hs bn did.

zr cei itr, n bn aon, nt ee a suet la. cee i a bsi epne. Shud ct i m fvr, ih?

ad yu ol frs o i ae a eie bs p...

ad a bsi-ris itdy clb cr.

bs. fi. ee.

ad ee toe to itdts dn’t mth!

later, at the city park later, at the city park

HL ML, SE. YU’V BN SN O A GL MN!

se m.

I’M SROS. I’ wse T. fiy i sel i... bt ...

cn yu cs a cek?

se, i’s a bla o mny, n dut. bt...

I'm nt wrh.

i’s wy  nvr cse m slmn. ui nw.

YU TK T, FLY. T’S YUS. te bcm wrh.

yu’r te ol mn i te ps ya wo’s tetd m ie a mn.

YA, I WS.

My associate and I spent the rest of the week contemplating the ways we could properly serve Denton s oppressed masses

w’r ga til or cs i n ie.

d yu ko ta biig’s itr?

ya, ta te od bk dpt?

ad a baig shl i te ‘5s.

RIGHT ON

 had i satd a a-itl fcoy. ii wr.

far out!

ta’s ga b or plc. wee w c te sos.

nbd’s ga t u wa t d.

DA! FFY FFY SLT...

a ln a yu’r i cag.

yu’r nt a b, fly.

wt? wa hee t “fck a b?” yu’r a lae.

Chapter Two CIVIL WAR

contents:

It’s 1994. The world faces an impending apocalypse known today as the Internet. Floyd Simmons, a couch-surfing rebel, gets thrust into the role of end-times antihero after falling in love with Mandy, a firebrand artist with radical tendencies herself. The story begins in the dystopian hellscape known also as the Present Day, where an older, wiser Floyd faces a final showdown with hostile state authorities. As he reflects on the grueling odyssey of his movement, Floyd chronicles the history of how it all began, a wild ride that aims to set the record straight and shed new light on the epic tale of this unlikely underdog.