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Obstacles! The



The Plight of

Dwight Life! Live it! Register to

Save a Life


SUMMER 2012 issue



4 Personal Journeys • Laurel D'Andrea •

27 Strike “Can’t” From Your Vocabulary • Dr.Wayne Terai • Can’t means: Could’ve And Never Tried.

Beyond 50 celebrates and admires how people survive and thrive despite incredible adversities.

6 The Plight of Dwight

28 Here are the Facts • Crimestoppers

• Laurel D'Andrea • One man's fix to recovery.

29 Staying Alive Tradeshow

8 Overcoming Obstacles

• Exhibitors wanted!

• Judi Wallace • Finding the strength within.

30 Community Events

10 Register to Save a Life • Annick Lim • Organ donor registration can save lives.

11 Support is Key for Brain Injury • Magda Kapp • Deb's support team is vital to her recovery.

• Lots to see and do this summer.

31 A Place to Be • Amanda Swoboda • The Artists Among Us Art Show fun for all ages.

32 Bowling Goes Green in City Park • Alan Stirling • Kelowna will welcome the finest young bowlers in Canada.

12 Life! Live It! • Bill Downie • Don't let yesterday rob you of tomorrow.



34 Dating in the Middle Ages - Part 2

16 The Kindness of Strangers • Michele Morris • Kindness of strangers to overcome life's obstacles.

20 From Corporate Leadership to Community Giving • Chantelle Funk • Introducing our Angel Among Us, Joy Playford.

• Darcy Nybo • Online dating site..really does eat up a lot of your time.

35 Travel Tailor Made for Women


• Marilyn J. Brown • Most people are stronger than they think when facing challenges.

38 Invisible Pain - Coping with MS

22 Earring Lost? No... Hearing Loss! • Tom Millar • The obstacles to better hearing are fading away.

24 The End to Scary Dentist Visits • Dr. Robert Wageman • Nothing personal, Doc, but I hate going to the dentist!

26 The Right Attitude • Dr. Craig Crippen • Practical tips to help you persevere through life's challenges.


36 One Stumble at a Time

21 Water, water everywhere... • Sandy Rehaume • The Q & As to clean up.

• Reenie Reid • Are you looking for adventure?

• Miriam King • The invisibility of this disease makes it hard for those living with MS.

12 4  Publisher’s Point of View 6-10  Cover Stories 20  Angels Among Us 30  Community Events 22-27  Health Matters 35  Travel DEPARTMENTS


38 ISSN# 1718-7435 Mail Publication Agreement # 41324527 PUBLISHER - Laurel D’Andrea EDITOR - Julianna Hayes COVER PHOTO – Wayne Duchart CONSULTANT -Wayne Duchart LAYOUT & GRAPHICS - Lori Johnson, Dragonfli Studio SALES & MARKETING - Laurel D’Andrea PRINTING - Mitchell Press WEBSITE – CSek Creative BOOKKEEPING – ATM Bookkeeping Services & Management

PHOTOGRAPHER – Wayne Duchart. Beyond 50 welcomes unsolicited articles or photos.These items can be sent to 1850 Ranchmont Crescent, Kelowna BC V1V 1T4 or emailed to submissions@ All submissions are considered property of the magazine unless otherwise agreed.The opinions expressed in this magazine are the opinions of the authors and they do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Beyond 50. Beyond 50 magazine is published quarterly: September, December, March and June.This free publication is distributed throughout the Okanagan (Lake Country to Penticton). Reproduction in part or whole of • Your Portal to the Community

this magazine is prohibited without the consent of the publisher. Beyond 50 magazine is distributed to all businesses registered with Canada Post for the Central Okanagan, random homes receive a copy and there are various drop locations throughout the Central Okanagan. Beyond 50 may also be viewed electronically by visiting us at We would love to hear your comments. Please send them to Beyond 50 at 1850 Ranchmont Crescent, Kelowna, BC V1V 1T4, phone Laurel at 250-878-9194 or email us at BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


publisher’s point of view


Journeys Ever wonder what makes a person tick? As we go through life, we meet individuals who hold a special place in our hearts. Some fascinate or intrigue us more than others. It may be their looks, their personalities, or the graceful way they handle a situation. We’ve all had moments in life, experienced trials and tribulations, but at the end of the day most of us make it through. Overcoming obstacles is the theme for this issue - we choose it to celebrate and admire how people survive and thrive despite incredible odds and adversities. What does the Second Cup coffee shop; Rotary International and the Okanagan Volunteer Opportunities Fair have in common? They’re places where I connected with the three people on the cover.Each one has over-

4 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50


Submitted by Laurel D’Andrea

Left to right: Laurel, Dallas and Devon.

come an obstacle or two, yet each one has a passion for life that draws you in. Dwight is part of the 10am coffee crew that hangs out at the Second Cup. He has the biggest smile,acknowledges everyone with a warm hello and always seems happy. When it’s time to leave, you see him manoeuvre the tight space with his two stable sidekicks (his canes) and you stop and envy his attitude. He is going to share part of his world with us. Judi is a lady, in every sense of the word, and her smiles lights up a room. Mother, wife, friend and life coach - she is all of these things and more.I first met Judi at a Rotary event and her smile and laugh were infectious. The love she has for her family and life shows in her eyes. Battling cancer is never easy for anyone, but Judi does it with style and grace, and she is usually the one who lifts everyone else’s spirits. She is a champion volunteer when it comes to cancer and even organized a “coffee group,” where survivors and caregivers meet once a month. She has agreed to share her tale and I know it will move all who read it. Annick is an interesting young lady with a much older kidney. This 37 year old’s body houses a 62-year-old kidney. Thanks to the miracle of

medicine and her father’s donation of a kidney, Annick is one of the organ donour registry’s strongest advocates. We are thrilled and excited that people like Annick share their personal journeys, so we see the importance of the registry. Our entire publication is about people, causes and events dealing with overcoming obstacles.It’s our hope that one or all inspire you to overcome any challenges you may have. My boys are growing up so fast, with Devon’s graduation this year and Dallas heading into high school, they, too, face adversities ahead. My advice to them is

simple; take the time to ponder your actions, do your research on whatever is challenging you and ask for help. The world is filled with individuals who will help you overcome anything, all you have to do is ask - but more importantly, listen and absorb their wisdom. Annick, Dwight and Judi have overcome their share of obstacles. They all face life with a great attitude, for them the little things just don’t matter. Check out the hurdles each of them have overcome, it will inspire you.


A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


Plight of Dwight


Submitted by Laurel D’Andrea

Dwight enjoys his car every time the sun shines.

Dwight Klimosko was born in Edmonton on January 30, 1954. He remembers spending a lot of time with his grandparents in Leduc, and it was his grandfather who taught him how to skate when he was four years old. During his adolescent years, Dwight spent most of his time at the community

6 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

rink playing hockey, and hanging at local pizza joints. Helping on the family’s dairy farm was a natural thing for Dwight; his uncle showed him how to drive and to work on the farm. In 1973, Dwight married the love of his life, Debbie, and had two outstanding children, Nathan and Shawntel. Both have achieved great success and he is one very proud dad. He is also a very proud grandfather and couldn’t stop bragging about his beautiful and brilliant his seven-year-old granddaughter Alexis. Dwight and Debbie had a good life and decided to build a home in Lake Country.Dwight had a lot of experience as he had been building homes and both were excited to be doing this project together. I guess you could say they had it all. The words that Dwight used next sent a chill down my spine. October 29, 1985 would be the start of their family decline. Dwight and family were hit by a drunk driver and life was never the same again. Debbie - Dwight’s “blue-eyed angel,” as he graciously calls her - was injured in the crash. But her strength allowed her to take care of everyone else until further help came. Dwight says she deserves a winning lottery ticket for keeping the family together. Shawntel and Debbie were hurt physically, while Dwight and his son Nathan sustained head and other physical injuries. The head trauma caused Nathan and Dwight to become negative in their thinking and speaking, so the family had to cope with that aspect as well. So how does one channel negative energy into something positive, I asked? “A friend of mine explained that I should have a hobby,” Dwight said, so he gave Dwight his 1964 Pontiac Parisienne A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

Convertible. This car had been sitting in his friend’s yard since 1969 so it was in desperate need of TLC.And it was this car that would give Dwight a strong sense of accomplishment. For the next five years Dwight spent his time cleaning, painting, buying parts and working on his new found hobby. He tells me that many of his friends and some local businesses helped in his endeavour to get this beauty back on the road. His left leg continues to be his biggest challenge and being handicapped has made life difficult Sometimes he feels a bit isolated. Dwight says his wife was incredible through the ordeal - caring for their home, children and making him feel a part of the family and loved despite his physical impairments and head trauma. The ironic thing is he hides his pain well, he always has a smile, he acknowledges everyone and makes you feel like you matter. I asked him what got him through it all. He cites

his family first and foremost, close friends and then the community as a whole. So many strangers stepped up to the plate and offered to help, and he is grateful for their support and encouragement. When you see Dwight in his beautifully restored car, smiling ear to ear, keep in mind he would rather have the life he had prior to Oct. 29, 1985, than the gem he now drives. It has not been an easy road to travel, but he is appreciative each and every day for the love and support he has experienced. Dwight’s final word of advice for us: “Keep your head up and watch those corners.” • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •




World Cancer Day, February 4, 2012, was when I decided to start writing a blog on coping with a recurrence of cancer.Our year had begun with a roller coaster of emotions.We began the New Year with a Celebration of Life for my mother-in-law, who had peritoneal cancer. Two days after her celebration, I had a colonoscopy that ruled out colon cancer. With a collected sigh of relief, our family continued the grieving process. However, celebration was short lived as 10 days later a routine mammogram indicated the cancer was back. In December, we had just marked three years of post treatment from a cancer discovered in 2008. This new diagnosis shocked our family. I will admit, it initially sent my mind to some pretty dark places.The first time around, we were all confident I would beat the disease. However, the second time, we had just lost our children’s grandmother and with that,

some of our confidence. It didn’t take long for my family to rally around me again. We spent a weekend celebrating our daughter’s 21st birthday. My family was able to recharge and get ready to face this next challenge.Being in nature, fresh air and with loved ones is what we needed to feel like we were a strong, united family. My initial thought process when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 was to have a double mastectomy. How-ever, once the risks and statistics were explained to me,I decided a partial mastectomy was the better option. In 2012, my mind was made up and there would be no one that could change it. I decided for me, the best option was a bilateral mastectomy without reconstruction. My surgery was scheduled for February 14 - not the most romantic Valentine’s Day but maybe one of the most important in our 33 years of togetherness. I decided I


Submitted by Judi Wallace

needed to do everything I could to get ready for the surgery. I made appointments with a physiotherapist and massage therapist to prepare my body. I started doing the post surgical exercises ahead of time using weights.I also believe in the importance of having the mind ready for surgery. I started visualizing the procedure and a successful outcome. In fact, the day before, I used the actual time of the surgery to imagine how I would feel. I listened to the music that I would listen to during the operation.

As I prepared myself for chemo, I again used visualization and meditation to prepare my mind for the tribulations. This time, I was better prepared and had very few side effects. On chemo days, I would prepare my little bag of goodies. I had my music player with visualizations and relaxing music that I played as I was being prepped. I packed an amethyst angel that my sister sent me that helped me to let go and trust the process. In addition, I carried a symbol of Stonehenge for courage and strength. Finally, I brought snacks for comfort. I was also extremely lucky that I always had my husband, son or daughter with me, providing unconditional love. We never truly know what life holds for us, but I believe every now and then we are fortunate enough to find the strength within us to challenge the obstacles thrown in our direction. And of course, the love and support of such an incredible family certainly helps. JUDI WALLACE, Life Coach • 250-826-4887 •

8 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


Register to

Save a Life Submitted by Annick Lim

Registered Donors in the Okanagan Kelowna Lake Country Penticton Summerland Westbank/West Kelowna Provincial Total for BC

26 % of the population 15.6 % of the population 19 % of the population 25 % of the population 16 % of the population 18 % of the population


our organs but only 18 per cent have actually have stepped up and registered? There are 836,239 who have registered in BC. I urge you to consider registering your wishes and save your loved ones the burden of having to make the decision for you at your time of passing. The best way to overcome an obstacle is to educate ourselves. As a society we fear the unknown and that inturn puts up barriers. Part of my mission in life is to inform the

community on how organ donor registration can save lives and perhaps one day save the life of someone they love.

Annick at Walmart on April 26th during National Organ & Tissue Awareness Week.

If you would have asked me just a few short years ago what my passion was, I wouldn’t have been able to give you an answer. But, today, I can. I’m an advocate for organ donation. I help people understand the importance of registering their wishes regarding organ donation. I’ve had kidney disease all my life and had the miracle of transplantation through a living donor - my dad - in 1999. In 2008, I attended the first ‘Give the Gift of Life’ Kidney Walk and I was hooked. I now volunteer with the Kidney Foundation whenever I can. Because of the amazing gift my father gave, today I can celebrate my health, my marriage, wonderful life, family and amazing friends. I was 23 and my dad was 48. Today, I am a 37year-old woman living very well with a 62-year-old transplanted kidney. Did you know that 85 per cent of us say we would donate


I’ve found the more informed people are of the facts, the more receptive they are to registering. Thus I’ve listed some of the common myths and truths below: MYTH: I’m registered through my driver’s license. FACT: The BC Transplant Organ Donor Registry replaced all previous ways of indicating your decision about organ donation. MYTH: I’m too old. FACT: There is NO AGE LIMIT to register. The health of the organs rather than the age of the individual will determine whether the organs can be transplanted. MYTH: I’ve had medical conditions. FACT: Everyone should register their decision regardless of any medical conditions. A medical team does a thorough examination of every potential donor to determine what organs can be used for transplant. I’d never want to leave a burden on my family for my most personal final wishes and that’s why I’m registered. My hope is that you will register too.Fill out the simple form with your care card and remember to share your wishes with your loved ones. Register today! Call 1-800-663-6189 or visit

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Support is Key for

Brain Injury

Chances are you know someone who has been affected by brain injury - it happens in an instant, but lasts a lifetime. In 2008, Deb worked as a legal assistant for Hergott Law in West Kelowna. She was actively involved in staff wellness, and had organized a“bike to work”initiative. One fateful day, she got into her gear - complete with a bike helmet - and set for home, riding carefully along the shoulder of a busy roadway. What followed changed her life forever. Deb was the victim of a hit and run, and the driver was never identified. The last thing Deb remembers was the loud yelling of an irate truck driver and a “flash of white paint” before she hit the ditch and was knocked unconscious. Coincidentally, one of Deb’s sons happened to be driving along on this same road, when he noticed her bike at the scene.This was fortuitous as it seems Deb had not thought to take any identification with her that day. Her next memory was of waking up in the hospital with her daughter at her bedside sobbing,“please don’t die on my birthday,Mom!” While Deb was able to recover physically,she was not made aware at the time that she’d sustained a brain injury in the fall. Over the next 18 months she struggled with fatigue, anxiety, anger, frustration and an inclination things weren’t quite right. She recalls a“heavy feeling”and being in a fog. Simple day-to-day tasks, such as cooking or cleaning, did not come easily, and she found herself making mistakes or forgetting to follow through.The issues with memory loss, problem solving, planning and organizing were significant. She remembers standing in the shower and not knowing how to use the shampoo and conditioner - a problem that resulted in her “looking like either Donald Trump or Phyllis Diller!” In 2009, a doctor administered a simple neuropsychological test and told her that she had a brain injury. Having that information made a huge difference. Deb began to improve steadily. Through determination, a strong faith, and learning strategies,such as having a quiet place and knowing her physical and mental limits, she was able to become stronger and more independent. She is still easily distracted and, as she calls it, “goes down rabbit holes” (such as being captivated by the sticker aisle in Walmart), but she accepts this behaviour and allows herself to be who she now is. Deb believes that brain injury is one of the loneliest injuries that can occur. A support system is vital to healing,

and she was fortunate to have a wonderful family at her side. Deb has started a small soap business and remains involved with a peer support group at BrainTrust Canada in Kelowna. She is also an avid supporter of her previous employer Paul Hergott’s “” campaign to reduce preventable car accidents. • Your Portal to the Community


Submitted by Magda Kapp

Deb believes that brain injury is one of the loneliest injuries that can occur.

A high percentage - in fact 85 per cent of brain injuries can be prevented with the use of helmets.Sadly Deb was not one of these. But “wearing the gear” and taking “safe risks” is always the best course of action for lowering the risk of injury. Staying safe in other ways is also important for injury prevention. For example, falls can happen easily in the home and it is important to ensure loose rugs are fixed in some way. Also it is important to keep your brain healthy. As you age as research shows it’s possible to reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias with proper eating, being mentally and socially active, and keeping stress low. BrainTrust Canada is a progressive non-profit organization that provides community rehabilitation for people with brain injury, and has a strong focus on prevention. For further information call 250-762-3233. MAGDA KAPP is the Director of Communications for BrainTrust Canada, where she is responsible for the association’s marketing initiatives and was instrumental in programs, such as the awardwinning Protect Your Head campaign for youth and the Sponsor My Head online contest.Magda is married and lives in West Kelowna with her husband and golden retriever. BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


Life! Live It! At age 35, I was a fit, healthy, non smoker, low-cholesterol kind of guy.Yet I had crushing chest pains on exertion,running down my arm to my wrist,and violent runs of very rapid heart arrhythmias. But I thought, “Hey, I’m a young fit athlete,always have been,can’t be much, just pushed a little too hard.” After procrastinating for a year, I went to my GP. I had the usual heart tests;ECG, stress test, x-rays and finally a holter monitor that would trace my heart beat. Committed to capture all I could on the tape, I put ski boots in a duffel bag and marched up a hill, which resulted in a long run of wild beats and pain. I got dizzy, saw shooting stars that weren’t there and fell into a snow bank. I struggled to my feet and went home, mildly pleased and quite smug that I had captured on tape the symptoms I had been describing.

Little did I know I was experiencing ventricular fibrillation or sudden death syndrome. Two days later the GP calls. “Bill, I have results of the holter monitor, meet me at emergency now and bring your toothbrush!” It sounded serious, and it was. When I walked into emergency, I was placed into a wheelchair and whisked off

12 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50


Submitted by Bill Downie

Bill is an avid outdoorsman and recreational enthusiast.

to ICU, admitted and wired up. Despite experiencing broken bones and torn ligaments, I had never been in hospital overnight. The little rolling table had an assortment of dishes,bottles,saucers,etc. I had no idea which one was for brushing teeth or voiding - a new word for my hospital vocabulary. At some point that night I had to void, so I re-arranged the wires and hopped out of bed with a bottle from the rolling table. Bells went off, lights flashed, nurses came sprinting I guess one’s heart rate goes up when

one stands up. The next day came an angiogram. The cath lab was on a lower floor and the staff wheeled me down the elevator. Along this route is the cut off to the morgue. I did have a fleeting thought that was where we were headed - that perhaps I was dead and this is what it was like - not much different than life. Life, death and ICU stress conjure up all sorts of mind games! When we passed the hallway leading to the morgue and kept going, I knew I must still be alive.

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


biking, snow shoeing, whitewater rafting and wilderness canoe trips. About five years ago I went to Ottawa as one of two voluntary sector leaders from across Canada to join a Federal Task Force. I didn’t have a car there, so I bought a road bike and used that to ride to and from work.

I rode long and fast and on my route was a pool. Naturally, since I was already running and biking, I thought, why not learn to swim and do a triathlon? So I did and completed in my first one in 2006. Then came the lesion on my face. For over a year I rationalized (again) that it was just a sore from my reading glasses, sunglasses or perhaps swimming goggles. Finally,I showed it to my doctor. He arranged a biopsy and,yep,it was skin

cancer. After a total of four surgeries, it is no longer an issue in my daily routine. Frankly, I never think about it. In 2006, I started to have other funny things happening to my body. I had difficulty controlling my razor when shaving, suffered from a stiff neck and shoulders and was exhausted by noon. Then, I couldn’t write. At a meeting one day, I asked one of my managers to make notes because I couldn’t write. In due course, it was off to the GP with my list of about 10 symptoms. That led to a referral to a neurologist where I under-went a number of tests. “This requires further exploration,”I was told and was sent off to the Pacific Parkinson’s Research Centre at UBC to have an assessment there. Months later I get the diagnosis. “Mr. Downie, you have a chronic, progressive, incurable brain disease.” That’s a list of words you don’t want strung together in one phrase! “Bummer,” I said. “I better get at it - I have lots to do - adventures to seize”. The chronic, progressive incurable brain disease is Parkinson’s. It’s sneaky. It

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •



The results of all the tests revealed electrical problems - ventricular fibrillation clocked at 300 bpm (or quivers), and a plumbing problem - 98 per cent blockage of the left anterior descending coronary artery. Not good. I have bad genes - my dad and both grandfathers died of heart disease in their early 50s. But I was determined to mitigate the negative impacts of the gene pool for my kids. Following my stay in ICE, I occupied a room with other heart patients. I noted that I started to mimic the hospital shuffle. When I was a probation and parole officer and used saw inmates in jail, they had the same gait - the jailhouse shuffle. It’s an institutional thing, I guess. I was airlifted to Vancouver for a coronary angioplasty - a relatively new procedure at the time,and then returned to KGH by air ambulance to monitor the VF. I was released within days. “You’re good to go, get back to your usual routine,” the cardiologist said. My normal is very active. One week later I was back playing in the senior men’s basketball league, without pain, smiling even when the opposition roared over me. “Why? Because I’m here.” That’s something not to be taken for granted. I was always fit, but took up running and that summer I recruited two neighbors to run with me to train and complete in the Kelowna Midsummer 10K. my time was terrible, but I got faster and competed in many more races. Another bout of heart concerns plagued me in 2010 - angina, irregular rhythm, etc. Same battery of tests revealed the same artery and others blocked and ventricle walls thinning. No need for further intervention at the time I was told, just go be normal again. My normal continued to be hiking, skiing,

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infiltrates your life very slowly and it challenges every strategy with which you try to mitigate it. It’s a journey! I won’t go into detail of all the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease; you can look them up. It has been aptly described by Joel Havermann: “Like you are always bucking a strong headwind, always trucking uphill.” And it seems the journey never gets easier. It’s a very complicated, cunning and determined disease that seems focused on controlling most aspects of your life. When you think you have it neutralized - or at least coping with it - it presents somewhere else. I’m reminded of that carnival game with the gopher puppets that pop up - you try to smack one with a club and another pops up. In the book, A Life Shaken, the author describes the disease as one that moves with a glacier’s speed and power.Those of us with a progressive disease describe a future more challenging than the present, hence one of my favourite expressions - “it doesn’t get any better than this.” Like all formidable adversaries, heart disease, cancer, and Parkinson’s have taught me, as well as tested me. They have reinforced my faith in the resilience of the human spirit. I can guarantee that life is not going to unfold as you had planned life happens along the way,with its inherent bumps and lumps, and even regrets. But there is lots of wiggle room for joy, adventure and humour. Don’t let yesterday rob you of tomorrow. I’m way to busy to be stuck in self-pity or mired in the “why me” mentality. There are moments, though, that I need an emotional tune up, but I am not going to let what could become an obsession with disease minimize my potential and contribution. I am so much more than my challenges. Here are my suggestions for inoculating yourself against letting a debilitating disease or challenging life circumstance get you down: • Be as active as you can, very active. • Have a sense of adventure. • Surround yourself with positive people and be one of them. • Lighten up and don’t take yourself so seriously - no one else does. • Look after your body, mind, and emotions. • Maintain a sense of spirituality and wonder. • Care a lot about people and use things, and don’t get those two reversed. • Make the world a better place because you were here. A quote I like is: “We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities, brilliantly disguised as insolvable problems.” BILL DOWNIE has called the Okanagan home for over 30 years. He has coached minor sports, sat on numerous community-based boards and City of Kelowna committees.His has worked as a manager in the provincial government, instructor at both UVIC and OUC, seconded to a Federal Task Force in Ottawa and as Executive Director at KCR. Bill is an avid outdoorsman and recreational enthusiast. In spite of his many accomplishments, his pride is in the successes of his three adult children. 14 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


the Dots Submitted by Laurel D’Andrea

One thing that is important to me is networking and helping those who support our publication.When Nikki, Jim and I talked about how we could help our clients and the community, the answer was simple. Beyond 50 would form a partnership with the best community portal in Kelowna. They are Kelowna’s oldest community portal and epitomize community focus. Beyond 50 is glad to be part the Welcometo Kelowna family.

Having a column on WTK was the next logical step. Each week I will focus on helping people connect the dots or find solutions. My goal is simple: to provide an advice column for the beyond 50 crowd that focuses on aging, dating and relationships, community, lifestyles, 50+ health issues, retirement, caregivers and self care for people 50+. I want you to ask the questions and I will find you possible solutions or connect you with someone who can give you some sound advice. My relationships in this community are vast so I want to use my connections to help our loyal readers. To read my weekly column go to WELCOMETOKELOWNA.COM and look for Connect the Dots in the column section. They will upload my new column every Wednesday.

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


The Kindness of

Strangers Overcoming obstacles sometimes means tripping over those obstacles, falling, and getting back up again. I have had the pleasure of sharing my cancer journey over the last year with the faithful readers of this magazine. When I am in medical waiting rooms, I often see people reading Beyond 50, as they wait for test results or procedures. In fact, not too long ago as I sat nervously awaiting an MRI, I noticed someone beside me reading an article I had written about managing stress. I thought the irony was delicious and I laughed in spite of myself. So the story I share with you now is for all those people sitting in waiting rooms, worried about what’s next. Hopefully this will remind you that we all fall from time to time, but with the help of others,we ultimately get back up again.

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16 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50


Submitted by Michele Morris

Michele is looking forward to lots of summer time fun with her friends and family.

Recently, I was at a pedestrian crosswalk at a local mall in the middle of a busy day of traffic. I hurried to cross the street and that’s when it happened. Something seemed to grab hold of my ankle, and with arms flailing, I started to fall face first onto the pavement. My sunglasses left my head in one direction, while my keys took flight in another. My purse skidded through the intersection as I lay there like road kill. And that’s when I saw him - the kind stranger running towards me, who grabbed my hand and peeled me off the ground. He gathered all my belongings and offered me his arm as I limped ungracefully forward. I looked back to see a tangled wire, the culprit that caused my demise, and the stranger picked it up to ensure that no other unsuspecting travellers would be caught in its trap.

With genuine concern he asked if I was okay. I almost answered, “no, I have two cancers, and I have been fighting really hard for awhile now.” Luckily, my brain did its duty as a filter before I divulged my entire medical history.When I realized he was asking if I was okay in reference to my fall, I managed to stammer, “I think so.” Then he wanted to know if he could call someone to come and get me. I assured him I would be alright, and frankly, I just wanted to get the heck out of there, as

my ego was more bruised than my body. My knight in shining armour started to hand back my belongings and inadvertently I grabbed his Purdy’s bag by mistake, which was wrapped tightly around his arm. We both laughed and he said, “Maybe you should take my chocolates, I think you deserve them after what just happened.” I laughed a little too loudly, in my nervousness and embarrassment. We parted ways as I rushed back through the intersection to find the safety of my vehicle, and ultimately my home. I am afraid to look on YouTube under the heading “Falling woman in crosswalk,” as I’m sure I will be there. There were many people who witnessed my fall that day, but only one person came to my aid. I am forever gratefully to him, and perhaps he will read this story and know how much I appreciated his kind gesture. So the next time you see someone fall, literally or figuratively, put out your hand to help them up. They may pay it forward when someone else’s turn comes.There are times when we need to rely on the kindness of strangers to overcome life’s obstacles. I believe kindness is in each of us, and it is the essence of our humanity. It allows us to survive the fall, knowing that with the help of others, we will get back up, time and time again.

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

Beyond 50 Magazine may be picked up or enjoyed at the following locations: Kelowna A&W, Balmoral, Blenz - Glenmore, Capri Centre Mall, Chances Entertainment Lounge, Chartwell, Cooper’s - Mission & Rutland, Dorchester, Dyck’s Medicine Centre, Fernbrae, GlenMeadows, Greyhound, Kelowna Community Resources, Kelowna General Hospital, Landmark III, Landmark V, Market Place IGA Glenmore, Market Place Rutland, Marmalade Cat, Mission Villa, Missionwood Retirement, Paragon Community Pharmacy - Gordon St, Parkinson Recreation, Percs - Cooper Mall, Perkins Family Restaurant, Pharmasave - Glenmore & Mission, Plaza 33, Rosebud’s Consignment Store, Rutland Seniors Center, Sandalwood Retirement, Sandpoint, Sandstone, Second Cup, Senior’s Outreach Services, Special Bakery, Sunwest Tours,The Lexington,Tim Horton’s,Town Centre Mall, Water Street Seniors, Westwood Retirement, White Spot, Women’s Place,YMCA Kelowna, Zeller’s Restaurant

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •



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A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


angels among us

From Corporate Leadership to

Community Giving


Submitted by Chantelle Funk, BC Cancer Foundation

BC Cancer Agency, it was a natural thing for Joy Playford recently switched me to use my skills in a meaningful way, it’s a gears. She retired from a 27-year gift,” says Joy, who chairs the BC Cancer career in development banking Foundation’s Regional Development Council to take on a new challenge (RDC) in Kelowna. community leadership. For the Joy’s mantra is, “heads, hearts and hands,” past two decades, Joy held a as she believes that community is about the variety of senior management collaboration of these parts, a coming and leadership roles in the together of many people to make the whole Business Development Bank of community better. She also believes that Canada. One of the most philanthropy must start at home, and leads important things for her was by example. Joy and her husband, Marty, working with people and having Joy promoting the BC Cancer Agency. made a significant gift to the Foundation in the greatest impact for clients. Three years ago, life threw Joy a curveball. At the height of celebration of her retirement and successful cancer outcome. The gift helped to seed a new research program, PREDICT, her corporate career, she was diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancers. The diagnosis was daunting and scary. How- that will soon start at the BC Cancer Agency Sindi Ahluwalia Hawkins Centre for the Southern Interior. “PREDICT is really ever, she felt confident in the people taking care of her. Two years later, Joy was cancer free and preparing for about patients, clinicians and researchers collaborating and retirement. Her future direction was clear; she was passionate sharing knowledge to make things better now, and ensure about her community and using her leadership skills to help better outcomes for the future,” Joy explains. “It was the perfect expression of what I had already benefitted from.” make a difference. Joy also sits on the BC Cancer Foundation’s Discovery “I was so grateful for the wonderful care I received at the Luncheon committee. Last year the inaugural event raised funds for a leading-edge HDR Brachytherapy pilot at the Agency, looking at a new treatment method for prostate cancer. The 2012 Discovery Luncheon will raise funds for Dr. Barbara James offers: PREDICT. Micro Alignment Therapy: a chiropractic “As a cancer survivor, I can speak to the fact that being technique to help restore proper joint alignment involved with BC Cancer Foundation has been very Heart Health Screening: checks heart empowering. It inspires me to work with community rate variability, plaque buildup in arteries, nervous members, doctors and professional staff, who are partnering system balance and more to move cancer research and treatment forward,” says Joy.

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One of the things she’s discovered by volunteering on the Foundation’s Council is, “there are plenty of opportunities for us to continue to make a difference.” Joy believes that as more boomers retire from their corporate positions, we’ll see more people engaging in philanthropic and community roles with their time, talent and financial resources. “It’s a true coming together of the head, heart and hand,” she says. Learn more about the BC Cancer Foundation, the Discovery Luncheon and ways you can volunteer your skills to enable cancer research. Call 250-7123921 or visit www.bccancerfound CHANTELLE FUNK is a Development Officer at the BC Cancer Foundation in the Southern Interior and coordinates events including the Sindi Ahluwalia Hawkins Golf Tournament (August 24) and the Discovery Luncheon (November 14).

20 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

Water, water Submitted by Sandy Rehaume


We put Sandy from On Side Restoration to the test; we gave her a few questions on how to clean up after those summertime disasters... Here is what she had to say.


My neighbour left his sprinklers on all day, my daughter’s window was left open, so when we got home her room was soaked. What do we need to do to make sure there is no permanent damage to the house?


Check the room for any electrical hazards before stepping on the wet floor. If it’s sunny and warm, open the window to let the moisture out. Remove all wet textiles, clean and dry them before returning them to the room. Lift the furniture and set the feet on nonabsorbent blocks (Styrofoam). If the box spring and mattress got wet... sorry no promises that they’ll dry. Remove baseboards, casings and wet underpad, if the room is carpeted. Laminate and hardwood can only be diagnosed on a case-by-case basis.



We had an above ground inflatable pool and the boys thought it would be ok to let the dogs in for a swim. The dog’s claw sliced the pool and it burst. The 8,600 gallons of water ended up in my basement. How do I dry it out and how long do I have to keep an eye out for mould damage?


Turn off the breaker and call an electrician to check for hazards. If it is sunny and Warm, open the window to let the

moisture out. Remove everything from the basement - yes, everything It’s impossible to know what the contamination levels are going to be. Sort through your contents and set them out to dry with the hope of salvaging them. If beds, couches and chairs, and any furniture made from particle board got wet, you will most likely end up discarding them. Remove baseboards, casings, doors and MDF door jambs. Remove and dispose of wet drywall at least 1’ above the tide line (usually 2’). Loosen the vapour barrier and check the insulation in the wall cavities. If it is wet, remove it. Remove all laminate and carpet and dispose of it. Check your furnace, hot water tank and appliances for water damage. Allow the framing and flooring to dry completely - mould should not be a concern. Keep checking in and around the framing for early signs of microbial growth until it is completely dry.

Q: A:

We found some water in our crawl space and it is black in colour, what does that mean?

‘Black in colour’ means nothing... What you need to determine is where the water came from. If the black colour water is from a sewer drain; it is considered contaminated. When handling contaminated water and affected articles, you must wear personal protective equipment. If the water was from a washing machine, sink or bathtub overflow, and you know the spill did not occur more than 72 hours ago, it may not be ‘black water,’ but you should wear PPE just to protect yourself from any bacteria that it may have picked up on it’s way to the crawl space. • Your Portal to the Community

Regardless of the contaminant level in the water, the entire area that is affected should be cleaned and disinfected. This document is strictly written to assist in prevention or further damage caused by water damage. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact On Side Restoration 250-310-2407 SANDY REHAUME has been with On Side since 2003. She relocated to Kelowna in 2009 to become the manager. She is BC born & raised, has two adult children and she enjoys the outdoors and comedy.

Quality service is a major strength and focus at AMJ Campbell Kelowna. NA OW KEL AMJ CAMPBELL Whether you are looking to move locally, nationally or internationally we are the company for you. We pride ourselves on understanding our customer's needs. If you are looking for exceptional, personalized service call, email or stop in to book your next move with AMJ Campbell.

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250-769-7974 EMAIL: BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


health matters

Earring Lost? Submitted by Tom Millar

No... Hearing Loss!

Two older women run into each other outside an exclusive department store. One woman is carrying a lot of packages and it’s clear she’s been shopping. Woman 1: “I don’t know why we haven’t seen you around the gym lately! I ran into your doctor and he said he’d told you to ‘diet and exercise.’” Woman 2: “You’re kidding! I thought he said, ‘Buy it and accessorize!’”

It’s easy to chuckle when it comes to “mis-hearing” or having “selective hearing,” even at our own expense, but for many, hearing loss is no laughing matter. As a youngster, I observed the negative effect of hearing loss at home, mostly during the banter around the dinner table and while the TV was on. You see, my dad worked extremely hard to provide for my mom and six children. But excessive noise at work damaged his hearing. The mystery of his hearing loss was subtle at first, but eventually became “the elephant in the room.” Many embarrassing situations and frustrating years later, dad finally

22 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

accepted that his hearing loss was a real disability he needed to address. At the suggestion of a supportive friend, he had a hearing evaluation with a Hearing Professional. The evaluation determined that his hearing loss was a work-related injury. And I can thankfully say, “the rest is history,” Once he accepted and confronted the major communication obstacle in his life, dear old dad came to enjoy a fuller and richer life with the help of hearing aids. Why is hearing loss so hard to accept? This is a great question! Even though there are several causes of hearing loss, the latest statistics show that it affects one in two people over the age of 50, yet it takes most people five to seven years to take action. Valuable time is lost that can negatively personalities and self-esteem, as well as, friendships and career opportunities. Time and time again, people rationalize hearing loss with statements such as,“I don’t have a hearing problem,” or “other people just mumble.” There are many consequences of untreated hearing loss, such as withdrawal from social interaction due to

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •



health matters

Embarrassed about your feet? Don’t want to take off your shoes? embarrassment or frustration; forming a habit of asking others to repeat themselves; or giving up and “zoning out.” In my clinic, I see first hand the toll hearing loss takes on innocent victims. Left untreated, it can cause deep scars of isolation and even depression. Immanuel Kant sums it up best; “Not being able to see isolates you from objects. Not being able to hear isolates you from people.” When my father received his first set of hearing aids, he was self-conscious when wearing them. And it’s no wonder, as they were big and ugly, not to mention they squealed quite a lot! Hearing aid technology has been revolutionized, providing wearers with smaller, discreet hearing aids that provide real world improvement in complex, challenging situations. At Connect Hearing, we strive to meet your hearing needs by providing you with superior products, service and value with care and integrity. If you find yourself or a loved one struggling to hear clearly, I encourage you to take the first steps toward a new world of richer, fuller sound. With Connect Hearing’s no cost or obligation trial program, and our “SoundCare Assurance,” the obstacles to better hearing are fading away. Come in for a complimentary hearing evaluation at one of our Okanagan clinics today. TOM MILLAR is a Registered Hearing Instrument Practitioner / Clinic Manager for Connect Hearing in Glenmore. He has 15 years of combined experience in the Optical and Hearing Industry. His outdoor passion is downhill skiing at Big White Mountain with his wife and young son. An emerging interest in digital photographic art has begun to mix with his love of the beautiful Okanagan.

We can help.

Onychomycosis, or nail fungus is very common and unsightly. It’s also potentially dangerous for those with diabetes, circulatory problems, or immuno suppression, but more often it’s just embarrassing. We have a quick, easy, painless solution that’s Health Canada approved - the GenesisPlus Laser. This gentle laser beam passes through the nail eradicating the nail fungus and causes no damage to the surrounding healthy tissue. This non-invasion treatment has no side affects or down time. Results are not immediately visible but as the healthy nail grows in you will see that the fungus is no longer present. The GenesisPlus Laser is also powerful enough to effectively destroy Plantar warts in one or two treatments.

Call Dr. Randy Gerber today to book your consultation.

250-762-6097 Located in the Glenmore Medical Building

1615 Gordon Drive, KELOWNA • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


health matters

The End to

Scary Dentist Visits

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it 1,000 times: “Nothing personal, Doc, but I hate going to the dentist!” Maybe, you can remember saying those exact words at your dental appointment. The fact is, I felt the same way as a youngster visiting our dentist in 1958 at an upstairs office on Bernard Ave. I white knuckled it though a painful needle, a painful filling, and then I was numb for the rest of the day. Thank goodness those bad ol’ days are gone. Most kids today would rather go to the dentist than get their hair cut. Why? Because they are treated like celebrities. They get praised and prized for being good, all the while watching a Disney Classic on TV. With modern techniques and materials, it doesn’t hurt! (At least it shouldn’t. There are still a few rough old-school dentists around... but most are very gentle.) But what about those of us who carry emotionallycharged memories of the bad ol’ days. I have good news. It is called oral sedation dentistry. Basically a trained sedation dentist can give you a dose of “sleeping pills” and you will doze though the whole procedure, and likely not even remember being there! Not bad, eh? Obviously, your medical history is screened to make sure you qualify. But for most


Submitted by Dr. Robert Wageman

dental cowards or for really long dental appointments, it is ideal and very safe. So don’t put off that needed dentistry or the smile you always wanted because you are scared. Talk to your dentist about oral sedation. If he isn’t trained for it, he can refer you to someone who is. Soon you’ll be saying, ”I love going to the dentist. Just look at my beautiful smile!” DR. ROBERT WAGEMAN was raised in Winfield B.C. He moved back to Kelowna in 1978 with his new bride, Nancy, where they raised their two, now married, children. Ziprick Road is named after his great-grandfather, and Reiswig Park after his great uncle and Wageman Road in Winfield after his Dad.

• Aesthetic & Neuromuscular Dentistry • One Visit Cerec Crowns • Implants • Sedation Dentistry • Digital Smile Makeovers • Pure Power Mouthguards • General Dentistry

Dr. Robert Wageman

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250.765.7751 24 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

Dr. Kim Eek

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

health matters

I volunteer!

Volunteer your time at Kelowna's Gospel Mission, and help give people hope, one smile at a time. Shelter • Meals • Dental Clinic Recovery/Addiction Programs Thrift Store • and more... Donate online Leading People into Wholeness

250-763-3737 • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


health matters

The Right Attitude Submitted by Dr. Craig Crippen

No life is without its fair share of issues and problems. We all know the saying, “It’s not the problems that determine your state, it’s your attitude towards them.” But this often seems much easier said than done. Here are some practical tips to help you persevere through life’s challenges: If we can stay open-minded and not get too emotionally upset when confronted with a problem, that automatically reduces the size of the problem. It can be very difficult to resist the slide into despondency. We have to cultivate the attitude of a warrior, a thinker, and stand firm and not let our negative thoughts rule us. We can gain strength by remembering the times when we were successful and the energy and vibrancy that success gave us. Like any other positive quality, our determination can be cultivated and increased. When fear of an impending obstacle strikes the pit of your stomach, you can visualize breathing out this fear, and breathing in determination and resolve. If it is the sheer magnitude of a task that is worrying you, break it down into smaller tasks and tell yourself to just focus on getting the first small task done. A huge project is done in little steps so focus on the next most important thing, rather than taking on some enormous idea that can be completely

26 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50


Inspiration is an important factor in maintaining one’s resolve. By reading stories, we know we are not alone and that within the human spirit lies the capacity to solve these problems. Try to surround yourself with as much inspiration in the form of books, music and people as possible. By the same token, you can remove yourself from influences that are discouraging you from reaching your goal. Surround yourself with people you admire and want to be more like - reach up rather than reaching down in your relationships. We often increase obstacles with our own self-doubt. We should instead try and increase our faith in ourselves, and our ability to surpass the object in front of us. When a doubting thought comes, we can ask ourselves whether this thought really has any basis in reality - most of the time it does not have any basis at all. Sometimes by even accomplishing some small preparatory tasks, we can instill faith in ourselves for the bigger tasks to come. DR. CRIPPEN is a Kelowna physician and an active member of Kelowna’s medical and recreational community. He and his staff at DermMedica proudly offer supreme services in medical and laser treatments. With this clinic being present in Kelowna since 1994 (previously called Kelowna Vein Clinic & Aesthetic Solutions) Dr. Crippen makes it his greatest priority to see that he and his staff exhibit technical excellence and attention to patient needs.

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


health matters


From Your Vocabulary

Beethoven. JFK. Roger Bannister. What do these people have in common? You may surmise they are members of some elite, secret brotherhood, but it’s far simpler than that. The common thread these men share is that they have overcome major obstacles. B eethoven was deaf, yet composed symphonies. JFK was told it was impossible to land on the moon, but proved them wrong. Roger Bannister ran one mile in less than four minutes - despite “experts” saying it was impossible! Working as a doctor for the last 18 years has really given me an appreciation for what is possible when helping patients find the health that they’ve lost. When we

acknowledge and respect the power of the mind-body connection, then, and only then, can amazing things happen. I see so-called “miracles” happening in my office on a daily basis. Patients have often had their hopes stripped, and told they “have to live with it.” But the mind is a powerful thing: it can heal you, and it can make you sick. There are countless stories of people who have had a “terminal” illness, who, through the power of the mind, have healed themselves. On the other hand, who hasn’t felt physically ill when they have been stressed out? (Eg: butterflies before public speaking). If you have a health issue, think about what’s going on in your head. Are you thinking about all the things you will do when your health returns? Or are you thinking about how the health issue has been limiting your life? The law of attraction states that “what you think about, comes about.” I try to emphasize this with my son with regards to the

Welcome to


Submitted by Dr Wayne Terai

word “can’t.” More often than not, we use the word “can’t” when we really mean “won’t.” For example, “I can’t ask my boss for a raise.” Is this really can’t, or won’t? This may take some serious thought and effort, but the next time you use the word “can’t,” about what you’re truly saying. Over the years, my coach had drilled into my head this saying: “Can’t means: Could’ve And Never Tried.” If you’re dealing with a challenge, whether it’s physical, emotional, relationship-based or monetary, take a step back, and really look at it from several angles. You may need to trade-in some “stinkin’ thinkin’” and reframe the situation to find the solution you’ve been looking for. DR.WAYNE TERAI is Advanced Proficiency Rated in Activator Methods Chiropractic Technique and also a Certified Laser Therapist. He has been helping Okanagan residents life an active healthy life for over 17 years.

“The only thing you have to lose is the pain.” PATIENT TESTIMONIAL

Kelowna Laser Therapy Clinic Starts the Healing... Ends the Pain! Laser therapy stimulates your body's natural healing rather than temporarily masking the symptoms of pain! The light energy is absorbed deeply by your tissues, fueling your cells to repair injuries, restore normal function, resolve chronic inflammation and reduce pain. Laser therapy is non-invasive and has no side effects. As your injury heals you can say goodbye to pain... hello to life!

BioFlex Low Intensity Laser Therapy is the treatment of choice for: • Back & Neck Pain • Sciatica • Herniated Discs • Rotator Cuff Injury • Plantar Fasciitis • Carpal Tunnel Syndrome • Tennis/Golfer's Elbow • Arthritis Pain • Tendonitis/Bursitis • Injuries from Accidents & Falls

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Call 250-860-4518 to book a no cost consultation today! 229-1634 Harvey Ave. Kelowna • BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


With a lasting gift in your memory, you can continue to help keep women and children safe

Here are the


3280 Since Central Okanagan Crime Stoppers began in1987 we have solved an amazing 3280 cases. Shelter • Crisis Support • Information • Counselling Since 1980 the Kelowna Women’s Shelter has provided safe, confidential services to women and children who’s lives have been impacted by family violence and abuse. With your help we can continue to provide these valuable services.



Since 1987 our tips are responsible for 2352 arrests in the Kelowna area.


Thirty Five%

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Sign up @ or call us for info. SUPER DEAL!! To join in on the FREE FUN with your kids, you may purchase a pass for up to 4 other family members to bowl 2 FREE games each day all summer also!

Spring/Summer Drop In FUN Leagues. Leagues Year Round for all ages. No experience required. Capri Center Mall KELOWNA • Hwy 97 & Gordon Dr • 250-979-2777

28 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

$260,303 worth of rewards was approved, with $170,550 paid out. This indicates that at least 35% of tipsters are not interested in the reward.




$76.8 million dollars in narcotics have been taken off Kelowna and area streets; $8.8 million already in 2012! Approximately $25,000 is raised each year thanks to people like you; as sponsors and registering in our annual golf tournament. This pays for rewards and costs to run the programs.


You can earn up to $2000 for a tip resulting in charges or an arrest.

TALK (1-800-222-8477), TYPE ( or TEXT (“ktown” to “(274637” ). Submit a tip by:

There’s no way of tracing calls, webtips or texts. A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

Beyond 50 Magazine presents

Saturday, NOVEMBER 10, 2012 10:00am - 4:00pm at the Coast Capri Hotel

We’re looking for

30+ Exhibitors to feature the latest in Wellness, Health, Wealth and Personal Growth. For more information on how to be an exhibitor at the Staying Alive tradeshow call 250-878-9194 or email Laurel at

By acting now I can protect my family when they’ll need it most. Prearranging your funeral and cemetery needs releases your family from unnecessary stress and provides them peace of mind. As a Dignity Memorial® provider, we provide many unique benefits: • 24-Hour Compassion Helpline® • Bereavement Travel Program • 100% Service Guarantee • Child/Grandchild Protection

Service Beyond Expectation Valleyview Funeral Home • 165 Valleyview Road, Kelowna BC V1X 3M5 • 250-765-3147 Lakeview Memorial Cemetery • 2850 Dry Valley Road, Kelowna BC V1V 2K1 • 250-765-2929 • Your Portal to the Community

BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


community events Having a fundraising or community event that is not for profit and want to be on the calendar? Contact the Community Information and Volunteer Centre at 250.763.8008 Ext 25

JUNE 2012 14 Beyond the Blues: Depression in Youth, Trinity Baptist 14 Elder Abuse Awareness Forum, Okanagan College, 14 Annual Nature Trust of BC Wild Festival for Youth 15 Working Women’s Twilight Golf Tournament, Gallagher’s Canyon, 15 Canadian School of Ballet SHOWCASE, Kelowna Community Theatre 15 Take a Hike! How Mission Creek Was Formed - A Geologic Journey 16 Kelowna Gospel Mission 30K Club

The listing of an event in the Calendar of Events does not indicate endorsement and the exclusion of an event does not imply any disapproval by Kelowna Community Resources.

Bikeathon, Mission Park Greenway 20 Mary’s Wedding, The Shoreline 16 Boat for Hope for Variety Theatre and Kelowna Museums. 16 Kelowna Community Music School 22 6th Annual GO Party! fundraiser, Student Recital, Kelowna Art Gallery Kelowna Art Gallery 16 Canadian School of Ballet 22 7th Annual BC SPCA Golf KALEIDOSCOPE, Kelowna Tournament, Sunset Golf & Country Community Theatre Club, 16 Walk for ALS, Rhapsody Plaza, 23 Push to End Homelessness, Inn Waterfront Park from the Cold 16 Father’s Day, Kelowna Farmers & 22-23 3rd Annual Okanagan Rhythm Crafters Market Festival, Mary Irwin Theatre 17 Awesome Abstraction - Family 24 Golf for Life Charity Classic, Kelowna Sundays, Kelowna Art Gallery Springs Golf Course. 17 Boyd’s Autobody Father’s Annual 24 Annual Strawberry Tea & Gibson Charity Car Show Heritage House 100th Anniversary, 17 BC Fish Day at Shannon Lake June 29- Westside Daze Regional Park July 2 20 Marches, Musicals and More, June 30- Lille Gard 2012 - Music and Arts Kelowna City Concert Band July 1 Festival, Bottega Farm Inn

JULY 2012 11 Moonlight Movie Tour Kelowna, 1 39th Annual Kelowna Folk Fest, 12-14 Granfondo Kelowna. Prospera Place 13 Take a Hike! Okanagan Irrigation 1 18th Annual “Kelowna POPS History - Glen Canyon Reg. Park, Orchestra Canada Day 14 64th Annual Across the Lake Swim Spectacular” 18 Moonlight Movie Tour Kelowna, July 1- Parks Alive! July 19- GOLF: The Musical and Fortune’s Aug. 31 Aug. 12 Fools, Kelowna Summer Theatre July 2- Drumming for Kelowna Kids, Festival Aug. 24 Kelowna Drum Studio 21 Caribbean Festival, City Park, 6-8 Keloha Music & Arts Festival, Jubilee Grandstand Waterfront Park 21 Cherry Festival, Kelowna Farmers & 7 2nd Annual Swingers Open Golf Crafters Market. Tournament for Central Okanagan 24 My Magazine Cover - Family Hospice Sundays, Kelowna Art Gallery

25 The 7th Annual Ugly Jacket Golf Tournament Harvest Golf Club, 27 Take a Hike! Okanagan Heritage Hike - Trepanier Creek Greenway Regional Park 28-29 Bats for a Cause - BC Children’s Hospital - Mission Sports Field 28-29 Cops for Kids Charity Slow Pitch Tournament, High Noon Park. 28-29 Kelowna Dragon Boat Club Races, Waterfront Park. 30 CNIB Golf Walter Gretzky Celebrity Classic, Kelowna Golf & Country Club

Ogopogo Golf Tournament, Kelowna Golf & Country Club Apple Triathlon KOS Kids and Teens Camps Strathcona Park Kelowna Pride Week A Hot Night for a Cool Cause Summer Arts Scene for Youth Dancing Barefoot in the Park, Peachland 22nd Annual Capri Charity Golf Classic Corn Festival, Kelowna Farmers & Crafters Market

18-19 Kelowna Apple Triathlon 20 Moonlight Movie Tour Lake Country 21 Moonlight Movie Tour West Kelowna 22 Moonlight Movie Tour Kelowna 24 BC Cancer Foundation Golf Classic in memory of Sindi Ahluwalia Hawkins, Harvest Golf Club, 25 Motorcycle Scavenger Hunt, Kelowna & District Safety Council 26 2012 Kelowna Kidney Walk, Waterfront Park

AUGUST 2012 1 Snowbirds, Waterfront Park. 1 Kids Day, Kelowna Farmers & Crafters Market 3-5 Center of Gravity 10 Cops for Kids Golf Tournament, Sunset Ranch 11 Downtown Kelowna Block Party, 11 The Royal Revival of Rock & Roll, Westbank Lions Community Centre 12 Motorcycle Rodeo, Kelowna & District Safety Council 12 Kelowna Fusion Festival

12-17 12-19 13 13-18 14 15 18

The Early Edition News, Weather, Sports, Business and Entertainment with Phil Johnson, Gord Vizzutti and producer Daniel O'Hara. Start your day right!

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A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

A Place to


A career, strong family connections, volunteering... and mental illness have characterized *Judy’s life. To the many people who have worked and lived alongside her, she is friendly, talented and loves her family. But none of these things protected her from prolonged seasons of depression and anxiety.

According to statistics, she is among the 20 per cent of Canadians who experience mental health issues serious enough to require treatment each year. She is also one of more than 30 artists who will displaying her work at the Artists Among Us Art Show, September 10-23, at the Kelowna Art Gallery. For Judy and so many of us who have experienced difficulties with mental health, pursuing mental fitness is as critical as physical fitness to a healthy life. “We need to look at our lives like a three-legged stool,” says Shelagh Turner, Executive Director of the Canadian Mental Health Association. “Physical, mental and spiritual. If any one of these is missing or weakened, the stool isn’t going to be able to stand. We need to tend to our mental fitness, just as much as nutrition or physical exercise.” Cultivating mental fitness can help equip us to deal with obstacles so that they don’t wind up dealing with us. Mental fitness refers to a person’s capacity to think about, plan and act on decisions that contribute to emotional, social, spiritual and physical development. Some tips for flexing a fit mind include: * Collect positive emotional moments. Intentionally recall times when you have experienced pleasure, comfort, confidence or other positive emotions. * Learn ways to cope with negative thoughts. Negative thoughts can be insistent and loud. Learn to interrupt them. Don’t try to block them (that


Submitted by Amanda Swoboda

Featured here is just a snapshot of what one can see at this year's Artists Among Us exhibit.

never works), but don’t let them take over. Sometimes our own unhelpful thinking can be the biggest obstacle. * Consider doing one thing at a time - especially when you have a lot on your plate. For example, turn off your phone when you are with family or friends and stop making that mental “to do” list. Obstacles in life can stress and wear us down. Committing to mind and body fitness keeps us “in shape” to effectively manage life’s challenges. Come celebrate overcoming adversity and the creative spirit of people

who have experienced mental health issues at the Canadian Mental Health Association’s 7th Artists Among Us exhibit, September 10-23, at the Kelowna Art Gallery. AMANDA SWOBODA BSW is the Connecting the Dots Coordinator at the Canadian Mental Health Association. She is passionate about using her diverse personal and professional experience in promoting mental health and wellness.

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


Bowling Goes Green in City Park PHOTO • CONTRIBUTED

Submitted by Alan Stirling

Kelowna Lawn Bowling Club 2011.


It doesn’t seem long ago that I was competing in the Scottish U25 Lawn Bowling Championships.Some 30 years later, I’m the organizing chair of the Canadian version being held at Kelowna Lawn bowling Club in August. My renewed interest in the game was kindled by a newspaper article in August 2010 about the re-vamped green at the City Park Club. Until then it had looked like the 100-year-old club was about to go under,due to a decline in membership and an almost unplayable green. If it hadn’t been for a few hardworking members, a full-time green keeper and a grant of $10,000 from the city, I fear that would have been its fate.

Grandad Stirling in 1936.

My parents are still avid bowlers. My mother has represented Scotland on 78 occasions, including the Commonwealth Games, and until recently, my father was president of the World 32 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

Indoor Bowling Association and Scottish team manager. I had nominal success in the game,winning the British Police Pairs and a few other minor trophies - not quite the exceptional standards my parents reached, but they’re still proud. I decided to join the Kelowna Club, and quickly realized that although the members were few, they had a passion for the game. Everyone rallied to help improve the fortunes of the club. I became vice president last year. Due largely to a free trial games initiative, the membership doubled last year. Potential players are invited to attend the club on Wednesday evenings where they receive free lessons and coaching. All that is required is a pair of flat soled shoes and a desire to have some fun. The club played host to the Interior Cash Spiel Tournament, which attracted the current Canadian champion to form a team with the current junior female silver medalist and Kelowna’s own Connor McGowan, the current BC U19 Junior gold medalist. The players and officials who attended the event were amazed at the massive improvement in the playing surface. In fact, the president of Bowls BC suggested we tender a bid to hold the Junior Nationals this year. This tournament has never been held outside a major city before. But if you’re not in it, you can’t win it. With the invaluable help of Chad

Douglas from Tourism Kelowna, a bid was submitted and much to my surprise and delight, it was approved.Thus August 6-14, Kelowna will welcome the finest young bowlers in Canada to compete in the U19 and U25 championships. The winners of the U25 will represent Canada in the World U25 Championships, to be held in Wales next year. We are currently looking for sponsors and donations-in-kind to help with the tournament. Further details can be obtained by contacting the Club or visiting the website www.kelowna

There is a popular misconception that lawn bowling is a game played only by seniors. This is certainly not the case. World, National and Regional champions are consistently under the age of 30 and Northern Ireland has a 14 year old on their national team. Having said that, many a good tune is played on an old fiddle, and while being horrified that I now qualify as a senior at age 55, feel that my best bowling is still to come. The new season is now underway and we have already attracted several new members and have a number of people taking advantage of the free trial membership program. I would encourage anyone, at any age, to come and give it a try.

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


Stinky dog breath? “My name is Charlie and I recently had my teeth cleaned by Cindy. She gently removed the tartar and polished them so my teeth are white and my breath is nice enough for kisses once again!”

Mon at the Scottish Singles in 1995.

ALANSTIRLINGwasborn in Edinburgh, Scotland. He moved to Kelowna in 2003 and is the owner of Loopykums Pond & Koi and spends his leisure time lawn bowling or playing/writing music.

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


Dating in the Middle Ages - Part 2 For those of you who read Beyond 50 regularly, you may have stumbled across my article in the last issue on dating in the middle ages - a.k.a. dating after age 50. I want to find myself a best friend and life partner. But it is much easier said than done. I did sign up with Magnetix Dating Agency and Julie Clitheroe became my personal matchmaker; something I obviously needed help with. Apparently even after 50 years on the planet, my picker is off. I’m not saying this to be hard on myself; it is simply the truth.

In order to be fair, I went to an online dating site to see what I could find on my own. The last few months have gone like this... I met with Julie, gave her my information and my list of what I was looking for and what I did not want. It took about the same amount of time to type all the information, fill out questionnaires, and add some photos to my online profile. The difference was, on my own I didn’t have a sounding board to clarify things and give me feedback. I t was just me at the keyboard, hoping what I wrote would attract someone into my life. Without Julie’s help, I had to do all the sifting and searching. The first week I read through hours and hours of profiles, looked at several hundred photos of fish, dogs, horses, houses,


Submitted by Darcy Nybo

motorcycles, sunsets, children and grandchildren, blank photos and the odd picture showing an actual man. Most of those were taken from a distance, with hats and sunglasses and, what appeared to be, the obligatory dog, fish or other woman in the shot. I quit after finding 10 possible suitors. The next week I went back and reread the profiles. Half of them my age were looking for someone 15-20 years younger. Apparently becoming a father at 50-plus is in vogue. That left five, so I sent off an email to introduce myself. Three replied. Not bad odds, but so far I’d spent about 27 hours online and not had so much as a coffee date. By then Julie had sent me photos and a brief description of two gentlemen. I went out for coffee with each of them, had lovely conversations and realized I was not what they were looking for and visa versa. Meanwhile back online, I was still in the communication stage of getting to

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know my possible future dates. It’s amazing how many online daters prefer to remain online for a long time. Personally I like to meet when there is still something left to find out about each other. Eventually I did go on two dates, met two nice men, and discovered we weren’t right for each other. You could say we flunked chemistry. Julie sent me two other matches and I went to meet each of them. They were a step closer to what I wanted, and the beauty of dealing with Julie directly was I could tell her what I liked about each one - thereby giving her the information needed to find an even better match for me. Total time invested with an online dating site - approximately 38 hours. Total time invested with Magnetix approximately six hours and that included four dates! My time is valuable and I am content to leave the matchmaking to Julie and Magnetix so I can concentrate on my work, family and friends. Stay tuned I’ve yet to connect with my best friend, but keep the faith and I’ll keep you posted. DARCY NYBO is an award winning author, freelance writer, editor, and columnist. She writes and edits for several online, local, provincial and national publications. Her website is

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •


Travel Tailor

Made for Women Submitted by Reenie Reid

Marlin Travel Kelowna has partnered with INDUS Travel to offer women the opportunity to travel with others to exotic and fabulous destinations. As this program has been specifically designed, you will be delighted to see additions to the itineraries which add value and interest to women. All the perfect touches for a safe, comfortable, and enjoyable experience are included.

We welcome you to contact us with your questions. REENIE REID, CTC.ACC has been a consultant for over 32 years. Her expertise lies in both Ocean and River Cruising as well as Europe, Asia and most recently Peru, South America.

Here are a few tailor-made excursions offered: Morocco - Shop for ingredients and cook Moroccan dishes with a local female chef. Vietnam - Tia Chi class with a female instructor. India - Learn the art of sari dressing and get painted by a professional henna artist. Italy - Learn to cook with a professional Italian chef.

WOW trips are suitable for women of all ages and backgrounds, from single ladies in their 30s to busy moms, professionals and retirees. Some women travel alone, while others join friends, mothers, daughters or sisters to share a new adventure. Regardless of their background, all women will enjoy the chance to engage in a unique and enriching vacation. All the details, from organizing museum outings or sightseeing tours, to finding the best restaurants in the destination, will be taken care of. Leave the guys in the dust on WOW adventures, which range from cruising the Nile to trekking the Great Wall of China. WOW Tours allows women to bond with each other and challenge themselves in a friendly and nurturing environment If there are specific details that are of interest to the group - itineraries can often be adjusted for specialty tours. And we all know that most women love to shop, so we have allotted lots of time for that. This is a very innovative program that Marlin Travel Kelowna to offer. • Your Portal to the Community

Our Women Only programs are specifically designed and tailored for female travellers. We have added all the perfect touches for a safe and enjoyable tour.

Wherever your chosen premium itinerary takes you, rest assured that Indus Travel has taken great care to select only the finest accommodations and transportation available. Our selection: India, Vietnam, Egypt, Turkey, China, Morocco, Peru, Italy.

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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2012 •


One Stumble at a Time There’s an old proverb that says “A stumble may prevent a fall.” In my view, there are two outcomes from that saying: A person can learn from his/her mistakes, gain wisdom, and possibly steer away from a more serious fate, or a stumble may prevent a fall, but wear heavy-duty kneepads, just in case. Given my family’s numerous visits to the Emergency Room over the years, I am more familiar with the latter scenario. That’s simply the way it goes when there’s a high klutz factor woven into the genetic mix. In reality, though, I’m a great believer in learning from past mistakes before they explode in your face again. I know for a fact that one sinfully delicious, warm out-of-the-oven chocolate brownie that whispers, “Eat me,” is a definite impediment to me fitting into


Submitted by Marilyn J. Brown

my summer shorts. “To err is human” is also a popular maxim for me, and better to work off one brownie than a whole dish of them. I admit to weaknesses around buffet tables, a nibble here and there (heck, I love good food!), and sometimes I actually recall stumbling home after two many glasses of wine. There have even been some insightful tidbits known to surface at such events, such as the time I finished a mouthful of fried calamari only to realize it resembled a rubber washer I had replaced in the garden hose the week before. (It was a great observation and inspired titillating conversation at the time.) In short, I have stumbled my way through diets, avoiding the scary fads, learning the needs of my metabolism.

In England, there’s a term for a calming speed bump in a road. They call them “sleeping policemen.” For me, it always conjured up a mental image of some poor British constable lying across the roadway, sleeping off one too many pints at the local establishment at the end of a shift. (Having a proper British constable in the family, I have been assured this is not often the case - although it isn’t uncommon to have a rapport with the pub owners.) We use the same raised bump idea 36 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

in North America for slowing traffic. As drivers, often there is a warning sign at the side of the road signalling the approach of the bump, but sometimes you’re still startled by the bouncing of your tires combined with your speed. Regardless of the warning, the experience makes you more mindful for travelling that road a second time. (The only time you’re allowed to get “air time” is on the ski hill.) Life is indeed full of obstacles - physical as well as mental ones. Avoidance is sometimes the healthiest approach. Unfortunately, hurdles will continue to present themselves on a regular basis. I believe most people are stronger than they think when facing challenges. A level head and determination are two good allies when you encounter stumbling blocks in your path. And if you ever encounter a “sleeping policeman,” I hope he’s only dozing after a lunch break.

MARILYN BROWN is a regular contributor to Beyond 50. Follow her humorous, quirky and uplifting reflections of everyday life on her blog www.cubbyholewr She welcomes your comments.

A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

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Invisible Pain Coping with MS

When you see Alissa working, Amber playing with her daughters, and Dee riding her bike you wouldn’t think there is anything difference about them. However they are three of the over 75,000 people living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in Canada. MS is an unpredictable, often disabling disease of the central nervous system that can cause visible signs such as tremors, and paralysis. It can also

cause invisible symptoms, such as fatigue, loss of vision or cognitive function. Alissa is a medical billing clerk who finds it difficult to do her work at times when her MS is relapsing. Amber takes her girls to the park and has to rest when she gets there before playing with her daughters, due to fatigue from the simple walk over.


Submitted by Miriam King

Amber and Blake at the MS Walk.

Dee gets around in a wheelchair, yet she’s training vigorously for the upcoming MS Bike Tour. The invisibility of this disease makes it hard for those living with MS to seek the assistance and understanding they need. Routine activities like walking, riding a bike, shopping and working all take a toll on a person with MS. People with MS need to feel safe in discussing their needs so they can live as close to a normal life as you and I. The Okanagan Chapter of the MS Society is here to help those with this

disease through our various client services programs. This is why we hold fundraisers like the Scotiabank MS Walk each spring. Come September, Dee will take part in the MS Bike Tour, having raised funds in support of finding the cause and cure for MS. Everything starts and finishes at


A Great Place makes a Great Event!

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38 • SUMMER 2012 • BEYOND 50

RONA September 8-9. For more information contact Miriam at the chapter office, 250-762-5850. MIRIAM KING discovered her passion for making the life of others easier when her children started school. After years of volunteer fundraising, she obtained her Fundraising & Volunteer Management diplomas from Grant MacEwan in Edmonton. Now she coordinates the fund-raising for the MS Society of Canada Okanagan Chapter and can be reached at Miriam.king@ A Forum for Boomers and Seniors •

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