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June/ July 2013

Summer Edition It’s in a field of its own!

WIN perfect HD Brows beauty treatment! See page 25.

Win a FREE family ticket to The Blaston Show. See page 2 for details.

‘Plane’ About at Foxton Locks, page 4.

This Squash is squeezed into: 11,000 homes in Market Harborough and surrounding villages.

Find juicy deals online at:


TODAY! Costco Wholesale is a membership warehouse club, dedicated to bringing our members quality goods and services at the lowest possible prices.

We provide a wide selection of merchandise, plus the convenience of speciality departments and exclusive member services, all designed to make your shopping experience a pleasurable one. We are confident in the quality and value of our products, and we stand behind them with our guarantee of satisfaction.

Sign up for Membership with this advert and receive a FREE gift! Costco Leicester only Valid until 30/06/13

Trade Membership* The annual membership fee for Standard Trade Membership is ÂŁ20 (plus VAT), which includes a complimentary card for your spouse or domestic partner.

Individual Membership* The annual membership fee for Standard Individual Membership is ÂŁ25 (plus VAT), which includes a complimentary card for your spouse or domestic partner.

Join in the warehouse or online: For further information, please contact our Membership Team at Costco Leicester on

0116 269 0730 *

Membership Criteria applies. Accepted methods of payment: cash, debit card, cheque or American Express. Membership must be obtained before purchases can be made.

Costco Leicester Westmoreland Ave, Thurmaston Leicester Leicestershire LE4 8PH T: 0116 269 0730 E: Central Membership: 01923 830 477

Vol.1 No.10 June/ July 2013 All the juice on your doorstep & online

June/July Edition What’s On 02

Welcome to Squash, the paper and online magazine for Market Harborough and the surrounding area, bringing you what you want and where to get it from.

Local Spotlight 06

In this juicy summer issue: win a family pass to the Blaston Show, a Fabulous Flowers gift or a free HD Brows beauty treatment! Savour our delicious picnic recipes! Plus alternative gifts, gardening, pets, puzzles, music and more!

Alternative Gifts 10

So slap on the Factor 30, chain down your sun-lounger, keep an umbrella to hand, settle back and start Squashing!

Recipes 08

Slices of Life 12

Pots and Plots 18 Trust Mallory 20

Ooh Matron 22 Puzzles 26 10 Top Tips 28

How to advertise

Cover photo: Near Church Brampton by Jo Blackwell.

Copy deadline for August/September issue is Tuesday 16th July. To advertise call 01327 577 101 * or email Remember, advertising with Squash magazine automatically gets you a free online listing at * (During busy times, calls may divert to the Squash mobile phone)

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.


June 2013 Saturday 8th Market Harborough Carnival 2013. Floats, Carnival Queen, bands and entertainers. Events, stalls and entertainment at carnival showground. Parade starts 12 noon Burnmill Rd. Dingley Races, Evening Meeting, 1st race 5pm Sunday 9th Charity Dog Show, in aid of Dogs Trust. Market Harborough Leisure Centre Fields Jousting & Medieval Living History Village, Rockingham Castle.

The Blaston Show organisers have kindly given Squash a FREE family pass for this year’s event on Sunday 30th June*. For a chance to win this great family day out, answer the following: Which of these is a village on the shore of Rutland Water? A) Margaret Preston B) Edith Weston C) William Boston Send the answer, with your name, address and telephone number to, or Blaston Show Competition, Squash Publications, Cedar Hay Farm, School Lane, Yelvertoft NN6 6LH. Closing date: 18/06/2013 The winning entry will be pulled from the Squash bobble hat and winner informed immediately! * Terms and conditions apply.


Thursday 13th (to Sat 15th) 10th Althorp Literary Festival. Saturday 15th Braybrooke Village Show, Village Centre, 2.00-4.30pm. Incl. Dog show, snakes, birds of prey. Traction engine rides, stalls, refreshments. Sunday 16th Busking at Foxton Locks. Family day with music by the waterside in a picturesque setting. In aid of charities. Start 1pm. Friday 28th Music at Dingley. Choir of Clare College, Cambridge. 9am-5pm. Saturday 29th Foxton Locks Festival. Stalls, historic vehicles and boats, kids funfair, live music and more. Cottingham Village Fete. Barbecue, bouncy castle, stalls, refreshments. 12 noon. School Recreation Field, Berryfield Road, LE16 8XB. Bosworth Festival, Bosworth Hall, 10.30am, Sunday 30th Foxton Locks Festival Blaston Show. Show jumping, terrier racing, driven ponies, fair rides, stalls, rural crafts, classic cars, refreshments. Blaston Rd, Slawston,

July 2013 Friday 5th (to Sunday 7th) Lubstock Music Festival, Lubenham. ‘Hot new bands and old favourites’. Saturday 6th Little Bowden Fete – 12-2pm. Lots of stalls Lots of things to do. 50p entry (children free) Little Bowden Primary School, LE16 8AY. Record, CD and Memorabilia Fair, Parish Hall, Market Place, Kettering, NN16 0AL UK Refreshments available. Collections bought. 9am to 3pm. Free entry. Contact: 01536 520547 Wednesday 10th Osprey Sunrise Cruise with breakfast, Rutland Water. Guided trip with members of the project team aboard the Rutland Belle. Saturday 13th (to Sunday 14th) Rockingham Castle Game & Country Show. All day entertainment incl. birds of prey, working dogs, children’s entertainment, arts, crafts, gifts, food.

Qualified experienced friendly staff (under new ownership)

Children 0-11yrs Babies room 0-2yrs Toddler 2-3yrs Pre-school 3-5yrs Before & after school clubs Upto 15 hours NEF funding available 01858 468 006

Saturday 13th Farmers Market, Kibworth Beauchamp. Location: Front car park at Kibworth High School. 9am-2pm. Saturday 20th Wistow Maze opens. Giant 8-acre maize maze with fun quiz trail. Winner of Leicestershire’s’ Best Visitor Attraction’. English Heritage Festival of History, Kelmarsh Hall, Northants. (to Sun 21st). Friday 26th Music at Dingley - City of London Chamber Orchestra. Haydn and Mozart. 7.30pm Sunday 28th NGS Open Garden, The Old Stables, Bruntingthorpe, LE17 5QL (11am-5pm). ‘Plant-lovers’ delightful 1-acre country garden.’ Moulton Open Gardens, Moulton, Northants, NN3 7UX. (11am-5pm)

Fun holiday childcare for school children!

Breakfast club

Open throughout all  Leicestershire school  holidays.

Why not book your  child into our before or  after school club?

Our club runs from  8am – 6pm every day (Except Bank  holidays). Flexible session  available.

We collect from all  schools in and around  Market Harborough.

Activities include... Cooking – sports –  gymnastics – arts and  crafts – days out to  Wicksteed Park.

Afterschool &

Children will be  provided with a  nutritious breakfast  and snack. School pick up  until 6pm. Open from 7.30 to  school drop off. Information correct at time of going to press. Please contact venue in advance to confirm event is happening. If you’d like to publicise a local event, you can do so online at:

9 Great Bowden Road, Market Harborough Leicestershire LE16 7DE


Inclined to Take the Air

for transport was stiff. Also, companies needed wider barges to carry coal from the north to London’s factories.

Biff Raven-Hill takes a voyage through watery local history.

It was decided to build an ‘inclined plane’. This was a counter-balanced lift with two huge tanks, each of which could carry two narrow boats or one wide barge, weighing 230 tons, up a 1:4 gradient on rails.

Local beauty spot Foxton Locks is a wonder of engineering. I get rather excited about engineering - show me a Cornish beam engine and I’m in bliss, so long as there’s a cup of tea and a slice of jam sponge at some point in the proceedings. Today many of our canals are dirty, neglected and silted up, but in the 18th and 19th Centuries, they provided 2,000 miles of ‘motorways’ for the transport of goods, keeping shops, industry and economy going. Most were cut by armies of navvies (from the word ‘navigation’) using shovels, picks, barrows and horses. Early canals followed the contours of the landscape, but over time, flights of locks, aqueducts and tunnels were required to speed things up. In 1810, engineer Benjamin Bevin designed a staircase of two sets of five locks to take boats up and down the 75 foot steep hill at Foxton. A trip through these locks normally takes about 45 minutes (but hours on a busy day). It is the largest flight of locks on the English canal system. But by the end of the 19th Century the canal was in poor condition and, with the coming of the railways, competition


Once the boats were inside the giant metal tanks (or caissons), the guillotine gates closed, keeping the water inside. A huge winding drum at the slope top reeled in thick steel cable attached to the upward moving tank, while letting out the cable attached to the descending tank. Powered by a 25 horsepower steam engine, the amazing operation took just 12 minutes. Unfortunately, the system was built on the understanding that the canals at Watford Gap and Foxton would be widened to cope with the increased traffic... but the widening never happened. The lift became ‘uneconomic’ (the old story...) and it was decommissioned in 1911. In 1928 the machinery was sold for scrap. What remains is a grassy slope with trenches in which The Boys and I play

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.

‘World War I’. This entails them hiding in the trenches while I pretend to be a Sopwith Camel, shooting them down like dogs. This goes on for hours... and hours. But at least there is the promise of tea and cake at the end of it. Foxton Inclined Plane Trust is currently fundraising to get the mechanical marvel restored as a tourist attraction and educational facility. For more information visit: Better still, visit. There’s a café halfway down, and at the bottom a great pub purveying good beer (‘Bridge 61’) and sometimes live folk music. Foxton Locks Inn is more family-orientated. Plus there’s the new Boathouse restaurant, a museum and shop,

and fantastic views over the Leicestershire countryside. And did I mention tea and cake? Oh, and bring your own bi-plane. Foxton Locks: Bottom Lock, Gumley Rd, Foxton, Market Harborough, Leicestershire LE16 7RA Biff blogs at:

Biff is also The Oncoming Storm: Steampunk Necessaries (website soon) Visit for some juicy deals!


Local Spotlight This issue’s focus is on...

LOROS (the Leicestershire and Rutland Organisation for the Relief of Suffering) is a local charity providing care and support within Leicestershire and Rutland. For over a quarter of a century, it has provided expertise in controlling pain and other distressing symptoms for terminally ill patients. The aim is to allow patients to live as normal a life as possible. The idea for the hospice came about in the 1970s from a group of local people who worked with great energy and determination to define the aims, register the charity and stimulate fundraising. The result was growing local support of the people in Leicestershire & Rutland, and finally, by 1984, the funds to construct the building on the old Groby Road Hospital site in Leicester. The first patient was admitted to the LOROS hospice in September 1985.

As well as providing palliative nursing care, the hospice offers emotional, spiritual and social care, to help patients and their families cope with the changing situation so that they are able to make best use of the limited time together available to them.

business community in order to continue to fund the service. Volunteers and donors are always needed and appreciated.

LOROS charges no fees for its services, which are available to all local people over 18 living in the boundaries of Leicestershire and Rutland.

There are a series of LOROS shops (now 25 of them), including one in Market Harborough. LOROS also runs a Weekly Lottery, and many fund-raising events, including sponsored swims, rides, walks, fashion shows, fun-days, social events and more.

5 Manor Walk Market Harborough Leicestershire LE16 9BP

To find out more about what LOROS does to help, and what you might do to help LOROS, visit: Loros Shop (Market Harborough)

Tel: 01858 432 539

The annual cost of the hospice is around ÂŁ4million. LOROS relies upon the generosity and support of individual people, organisations and groups, as well as Trusts and the local

Local Spotlight is a free feature about organisations and events, old and new, in Market Harborough or the surrounding area. If you know of one which has a story to tell, please write to, and we will feature it if possible.


Visit for some juicy deals!

s k c o L n o t x Fo

l a v i t s e FJune & 30 June 2013


Open from Foxton Locks


Foxton, Market Harborough, LE16 7RA (follow the signs) MORE INFORMATION:

Follow us on Facebook

ADULT £4.00 all day CHILDREN under 16 FREE PARKING £1.00

Fun Fair

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.


Recipes Hamper Hearties

The damp beauty of the Fens? A shimmering Cornish beach? Or a cloudy, overgrown lay-by off the A67? Wherever you take your picnic pleasures this summer, be sure to include some of these baked beauties.

Sun-dried Tomato & Rosemary Palmiers (makes 25-30 palmiers)

Ingredients 500g/1lb 2oz ready-made puff pastry Plain flour 280g sun-dried tomatoes, drained and finely chopped 4tbsp parmesan cheese, grated Several sprigs fresh rosemary, leaves only, finely chopped 1 egg, lightly beaten

Instructions Put the puff pastry on a well-floured surface and give it rough treatment with a rolling pin it only needs to puff up a little. Roll pastry into a rectangle about 30 x 35cm and ½ cm thick. Spread tomatoes over the pastry


Photography by Create-a-Brand

and sprinkle the rosemary and parmesan. With the shortest end towards you, take both long edges of the pastry and roll them towards each other to meet in the middle. Brush a little egg down the centre to stick the two halves together. Carefully place in a large baking tray and keep in the fridge for at least 30 minutes to chill and harden. Preheat oven to 200ºC/400ºF/Gas 6. Remove roll from fridge and with a very sharp knife slice into 1-1½ cm-thick pieces. Lay pieces on baking tray, cut-side up, and brush well with the beaten egg, then bake for 10-15 mins until puffed, crisp and golden. Remove from oven, leave to cool, then serve.

Parsnip, Apple & Raisin Mini-Muffins

Flavoursome, fruity, and not-too-filling!

Ingredients 130g plain flour; 130g wholemeal flour; 2tsp baking powder; 1tsp mixed spices; 1 pinch salt; 1 free-range egg, lightly beaten; 70g butter, melted and cooled slightly; 1 parsnip (about 125g prepeeled), peeled and grated; 1 small apple, peeled and grated; 75g raisins; 5tbsp clear honey;1tsp vanilla extract

Instructions 1. Heat oven to 180°C/350F/gas 4. 2. Mix flours, baking powder, mixed spice and salt together in a bowl. 3. In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg and butter. Stir in the parsnips, apple, raisins and honey, then add to the dry ingredients. Add the apple juice and stir to combine, but take care not to overmix.

Lemon Drizzle Muffins

4. Spoon mix into muffin cases and bake for 18-20 minutes, or until risen (check at 15 minutes)

These citrus succulents put zest into even the rainiest summer day

Ingredients 2 eggs, beaten; 85g caster sugar; 240ml milk; 100ml vegetable oil; 300g plain flour; 3tsp baking powder; ½tsp salt; 4 lemons, zest only. (Topping) 50g icing sugar; 1 lemon, juice only; sprigs lemon thyme, to garnish.

Instructions 1. Preheat the oven to 200ºC/400F/gas 6. 2. Mix the egg, sugar, milk and oil in a large bowl. Sift in the flour, baking powder, salt and then add the lemon. Roughly mix. 3. Spoon mixture into the pre-prepared muffin cases. 4. Bake for 30-35 minutes until well risen and golden. Cool on a wire rack. 5. Make topping by mixing together the sugar and lemon juice. 6. Drizzle the topping over the cooled muffins. If desired, decorate with sprigs of lemon thyme.


Alternative Gardening gifts Whether the recipient is greenfingered or a horticultural liability, these weatherproof gifts will bring joy - and in some cases style - to the most jaded garden.

Mini Vineyard For the gardener who also enjoys a glass, or even just likes the idea of having a mini vineyard. Comes with two ready-to-plant vines, one white, one red. We think this is really grape! (£44

Retro Garden Magazines Paraphernalia Perfect for lovers of all things vintage. While away a rainy Sunday perusing lawnmower brochures, gardening newspapers and a range of other retro gardening ephemera. (£7.99,

Classic Trailer Birdhouse This is the modern solution for avian living, and a perfect gift for the trendy gardener or casual bird spotter. (£24.99

Big Head Novelty Garden Squirrel Feeder We laughed so much when we found this. It would make a great gift for young and old, gardeners or non-gardeners. Only the really grumpy will fail to smile at this! (£19.99

Bespoke Stone Carving This fabulous lion face carving by James Eversden is available from Harborough Stone Ltd. Not keen on lions? Not to worry, Harborough Stone takes commissions for stone carvings and the sky is the limit! (£210; Prices vary – please contact Kim for a quote: 01858 410 033)


Visit for some juicy deals!

More than just parrots

Midland Parrots are your local independent pet shop supplying hand reared parrots and aviary birds.

Dear Dad Happy Father’s Day! Love from Emily, Tom and Nathan xxxxx (to put your personal message here, contact us at

A large selection of quality foods, toys, cages, stands and all accessories. We are also stockists of quality wild bird food and accessories, small animal feeds, as well as dog and cat food and associated goods.

Tel: 01530 263399 Sunnyside, Leicester Road, Ibstock, Leicester LE67 6HL.

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.


Slices of Life Four-legged Fashion Victims Katie Miller The other day I passed a young girl walking a little dog who was dressed up as a bumble bee. Later on I drove past a Dalmatian wearing a denim jacket complete with matching cap! It got me thinking about our nation’s obsession with dressing our pets. Why do people do it? The word ‘pet’ apparently dates back to around 1500 where it was thought to have meant ‘indulged child’ – and later on ‘favoured animal’. Dressing pets up has been going on for a long time. Josephine Bonaparte, for instance, had a pet orangutan, Rose, who was beautifully dressed in a white cotton chemise. Then of course the PG Tips tea monkeys back in the 70s were all dressed from head to foot for comic value. On a more sinister note, many will remember the Capuchin monkey with the distinctive red vest who was an enemy of Indiana Jones in Cairo in 1936. Animal-plus-clothes is not always a good sign.

Then there was my great great auntie, Doris, ‘affectionately’ known in her old age as ‘the dog lady’. She used to dress her three dogs up in garish taffeta and silk and push them around the village in a doll’s pram. But the festival-float facade hid a less than happy story... After many years happily married to my great great uncle Percy, Percy suddenly ‘eloped’ with ‘an undesirable woman from the next village’. Doris took to dressing up the dogs like, well, a dog’s dinner. She reputedly spent hundreds of pounds having little outfits made by the local seamstress – interestingly, always in orange, which had been her errant husband’s favourite colour! Percy was not to be lured back. He remained in the next village, reputedly helping the undesirable woman dress up her pet rat as Casanova and her pet ferret as Lady Emma Hamilton. Possibly. It seems I inherited Auntie Doris’s quirk. When I was young, although I had no interest whatsoever in dolls, my little white rabbit had quite a wardrobe, ranging from a shepherds’ costume

to a king complete with crown, to... er, ‘Little Jimmy Osmond’. And being handy with a sewing machine, I once ran up a little coat for my tortoise, Flash. Flash subsequently ‘ran’ off into the woods, never to be seen again! So whether it’s to provide therapy for deep hurt, to help people keep up with fashion, to sell hot beverages, or simply due to an unfortunate inherited characteristic of their owners, it looks like some pets won’t be let off the clothes-hook anytime soon. Do I have currently have a pet? Yes, a dog. Does he wear clothes? Well, he does have a Father Christmas outfit, and he has a woolly fisherman’s jumper somewhere in case he goes fishing. I think that’s all. If he wants to wear them on special occasions, who am I to stop him? Anyway, must dash – I have just remembered, my dog’s leg warmers are in the dryer and I would hate for them to shrink!

The Juicy Pear The latest fresh (and rotten) album releases, reviewed by: Katie – middle-aged mum. Max – grumpy old man. Luke – Classical music fan.

Little Boots – Nocturnes (Repeat Records)

Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of the City (XL Recordings)

The juice: Combining sultry dance beats and smooth vocals, the 2nd studio outing by the electro-popster is “an album indebted to the night”.

Flavours: Saint Etienne, Ladyhawke, Dragonette. Max: Little Boots tiptoes rather predictably between La Roux and the Human League. The sound is polished, the singing sweet, the overall effect palatable but not striking. There’s nothing that memorable here - ‘All for you’ is the best of a bland bunch. I’m afraid she won’t be stomping over the charts with this. (2/5) Katie: This is pleasant enough but rather forgettable. Each track tends to blend into another, becoming one long track of nonoffensive background noise. My favourite track is ‘Broken Record’, mainly because the tempo changes quite regularly and breaks the monotony of the rest of the album. (3/5) Luke: This is very much a poppy, discoled album. My feet started dancing during track 1 and didn’t stop. Little Boots has a wonderful voice, soft and meaningful. If you like The Cranberries and Kylie, you’ll probably love this. The album as a whole is clear, precise and enjoyable. Favourite track: ‘Stranger’. (4/5) Pulp of the Pops (9/15)


The juice: New York rockers show off their craft with this varied set that pushes the boat out a little in terms of experimentation.

Flavours: Bloc Party, Paul Simon, Police. Luke: from the group’s name I was expecting some sort of teenage angst, which is not really my scene, but this was brilliant. It reminds me of My Chemical Romance and Tokyo Police Club. The singer has a unique voice, the band are tight, and the sound and tempo are varied. They are not your usual 4-piece. This has made me want to find out more about the band. Favorite track: ‘Step’. (4.5/5) Max: I have to say this is good, it’s just my cup of A+. It makes you listen to it, and every track is different: tones of rockabilly mix with classical strings and celtic vibes are surprising and always melodic. Favourite tracks: ‘Unbelievers’, ‘Diane Young’, ‘Everlasting Arms’ are just a few of this excellent mix of tunes. (4/5) Katie: This was brilliant on every level. It reminds me a bit of the Eels. Each track is different in tempo and there are influences as wide as Paul Simon and Pachelbel (the latter in the lovely ‘Step’). It left me wanting more and more. No nodding off to this album! (5/5) Pip of the Pops: (13.5/15)

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.

Crafty Corner Handmade Bunting

We think bunting is fab. So when Leicestershire Craft Centre offered us a kit we were delighted and hung out the… well, let’s see what we did:

1) Take 2 fabric triangles, pattern side in - and stitch along two outside edges, leaving a 1.5 cm seam. Leave the top side open. 2) Snip off the top of the sewn triangle where the stitches meet but not too close to the stitches! 3) Turn the triangle the right way out to display the patterned fabric 4) Stitch the material triangle to the binding. 5. Hang it up and celebrate a birthday, fete or jubilee.

Sponsored by Leicestershire Craft Centre, 10a High Street, Market Harborough LE16 7NJ (Located above Monsoon). The centre offers courses in a wide range of crafts for ages 2-102. Tel. 01858 466 692, or 07587 636 660

Fabulous Flowers Competition

For a chance to win a beautiful table arrangement (value £40) from Flowers in Style, furnish us with an answer to: Casino tables are normally covered in:

(A) Formica (B) Flannel (C) Felt Send your answer to: Closing date 03/07/2013 *Terms and conditions apply


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Pots and Plots Don’t rest on your laurels (or lettuce)

Sponsored by: Langton Garden Centre.

It’s been a long time coming, but the warm weather is finally here. I hope you’ve all been very busy planting and tending your gardens; lawns trimmed and things bursting into bloom.

But although it’s tempting to think the hard work is over and you can sit back and relax, there is more work ahead to make sure the garden lasts into late summer early autumn. Lawns should be growing steadily and will probably need cutting weekly. Make the most of the clippings by adding them to your compost bin. Make sure you add other things, such as woody clippings or prunings, to balance up the nitrogen of the grass. Try to turn your compost regularly with a fork; this helps to aerate it and makes for quicker compost. As we come into the end of June and beginning of July, flowers start to go over and now is the time to pinch them off to encourage a flush of new buds. This will help the flowering season last


into August and with some roses, September and beyond. On the veg plot is where you should now be seeing the fruits of your labour. Things should be coming ready to harvest. Pick at the peak of ripeness. You can continue to sow things like lettuce so that you can have an ongoing harvest. As well as the enjoyable bits in the garden, we have to remember that if our plants are growing then so are the weeds, pests and diseases too. Check plants such as roses and sweet peas for signs of aphids, especially in the new shoots, which they find irresistible. Hoe between plants and vegetables. It may seem a chore but doing it little and often will keep the weeds from setting seeds and creating more weeds! Remember some seeds can survive for 40 years and still germinate! Samantha Kimber

Visit for some juicy deals!

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.


Trust Mallory! For whom the wedding bell tolls...

Dear Mallory, Last year my twin sister got married, and as usual she just had to show off, taking centre stage on what is supposed to be a pleasant family day. Everyone assembled on time at the church, having dressed up specially, but we were all kept waiting for several minutes by... guess who.

Dear EC, It seems as if you and your twin sister are locked into a spiral of competitiveness, like free-fall parachutists nearing the ground. If you don’t break out of that spiral, then one of you will sustain, if not a broken heart, then at least a sprained ankle. That parachutist, EC, is you. You need to pull the rip cord and rise above the rivalry. And what better way to do that than with a modest wedding of your own? First, find someone to marry (never try this alone!). Keep your competitive instincts under control and don’t look too hard for someone special. Does your sister’s husband have an

Finally my sister swanned up the aisle in a dress almost identical to the one I was wearing (ivory, with handbeaded ruched bodice, asymmetrical drop waist and satin skirt with a long train). It was lucky for her that my look of outrage was partially hidden by a veil of organza. The ceremony just had to be followed by a wedding banquet, champagne and a tall white cake that hardly anyone ate (Jaffa Cakes would have sufficed). It has been hard

unattached brother? So long as they look similar, and you get along well, he should be good enough for you. As should selecting the same date as your sister’s wedding for your own. Being different just for the sake of it will make it look like you are trying to overshadow her. For the venue, think ‘simple and natural’. An understated vast stone circle made from papier maché by local schoolchildren will provide the perfect intimate setting. And there’s no need to have the Archbishop of Canterbury conduct the service! The Archbishop of York will do perfectly well, perhaps with television’s Stephen Fry providing a light-hearted but respectful commentary. Follow with an ‘afterthought’

to forget such a show of drama and extravagance, not helped by the fact that my parents insisted on having it all photographed. I admit I feel a little envious of my sister’s happiness with her husband, whom I knew and really liked before she even met him. I know it’s silly, but I just can’t seem to work out how to get over it. Ms EC Lutterworth

wedding meal of avocado and meringue pie, then iced lollies garnished with parmesan, which you can tell people you ‘just threw together at the last minute’. Finally, to finish your modestly memorable day, don’t gallop off in a horse-drawn carriage or zip away over Rutland Water on jet skis. A simple clown car that immediately collapses in plumes of smoke will do fine. Then just shrug, smile and saunter off (with your husband), knowing that you’ve put competitiveness aside and shown everyone, especially your sister, that you too can be happy.

Yours Ever, Mallory

“A problem shared is a problem enjoyed.”


Please send in some of your many problems, and using her experience and imagination Mallory will do her best to answer them here. Unfortunately Mallory cannot enter into individual correspondence:

£15.00 per hour



per hour for OAP’s

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT For advice on plants and gardens come and speak to Samantha, our new and experienced Horticulturist. Tom is our indoor and outdoor tiling specialist and he can advise on all your tiling and landscaping needs. And don’t forget to visit our farm shop, a haven of fine foods, artisan breads and fresh meat supplied by Bates Butchers. We look forward to seeing you.

Melton Road, East Langton Leicestershire LE16 7TG Tel: 01858 545819 Web:

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Ooh, Matron! Tr av ell in g Tip To p

The weather has warmed up a little, and a number of our readers will be counting down the days until they head off on their jollies abroad with their nearest and dearest. Two weeks, or thereabouts, in sunny climes, where the weather can be relied on, and no work to worry you... By the end of the holiday you may be yearning for your jobs to take you away from your nearest and dearest, who are now driving you mad, but for the time being, the planning and anticipation of a time away is delicious. With all the time we spend thinking and planning our holidays, it always surprises me how little thought we put into our first aid kits. A recent survey suggests that 80% of us are not equipped to deal with minor accidents even in our own homes, let alone when we are out and about. Prevention is better than cure, so take care. Use sunscreen, keep hydrated and play safe. But accidents do happen, so here are my top tips for a well stocked (but not too bulky) first aid travel kit. For wounds, bumps and scrapes: Antiseptic cream, (a plain betadine cream was invaluable to me when on a camping trip to Africa), a variety of plasters, some skin closure strips, a couple of larger

‘Matron’ is a qualified A&E and paediatrics nurse with 20 years experience.


dressings, and a crepe bandage. Scissors, tweezers and disposable gloves are always useful. Medicine: Painkillers, paracetamol and ibruprofen are the obvious favourites. Antihistamines such as piriton are useful for allergies and reactions to nasty stingy insect bites. Re-hydration sachets; many a holiday has been spoilt by sickness bugs and reactions to local food. Anti-diarrhoea medication can help too. Obviously, take any medication that you usually take regularly at home and if you have any special needs, make sure you are well stocked. When travelling with children make sure both that you have all of the above and that the medication is suitable for children of your age range. Ensure you have suitable holiday insurance and within the EU a valid European Health Insurance Card, apply via NHS Choices. For serious illness or injury: do not hesitate to seek medical attention. Take it easy, but take care too. Happy holidays!

Visit for some juicy deals!



Stanford Hall, Leicestershire Saturday 3rd August 2013 Flashpoint Fireworks, F1 Pyrotechnics, Spitfire Pyrotechnics in the competition with a closing show by MLE Pyrotechnics TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW by phone or web

SPECIAL PREBOOK PRICING Adults: £15.00 , Children: £6.00 Booking fee: £1.50 per order ON THE NIGHT/GATE PRICING Adults: £17.00 , Children: £8.00


4 world class displays all choreographed to music. SMS audience voting. Also at: Belvoir Castle, Capesthorne Hall, Eastnor Castle, Broughton Hall

Booking line: 01327 876 037

Visit for some juicy deals!

Beauty is in the eye... for FREE!

Over 70% of facial expressions depend on your eyebrows. HD (High Definition) Brows is a unique beauty treatment, popular with celebrities from Hollyoaks to Hollywood, that gives the ultimate in beautiful, well-groomed brows. The Beauty Spot Yelvertoft has kindly given Squash a voucher for a FREE HD Brows treatment (value ÂŁ25, time 1hr) by a qualified HD beauty therapist. For a chance to win, answer the following: Which of these was a famous fashion designer? a) Coco the Clown b) Coco Chanel c) Coco Pops Send the answer, with name, address and telephone number to Closing date: 25/06/2013 The winning entry will be pulled from the Squash bobble hat and winner informed immediately! * Terms and conditions apply. The Beauty Spot, 75 High Street Yelvertoft. 01788 824 108

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.



Squash Concentrate Take time out to tease and tickle your brain!


Juicy Crossword No.10




Last issue’s crossword answers:





Across: 1. Cuffs 4. Seoul 6. Mallory 7. Bop 8. Anther 9. Amen 11. Sulk 12. Sentry 15. Ass 16. Nutwood 17. Horse 18. Easel











Across 1. Dumbledore’s forename (5) 4. Kosher, pukka (slang) (5) 6. Gaelic sport played with sticks and ball (7) 7. German water sprite; satellite of Pluto (3) 8. Ancient Greek city state (6) 9. Shock, stupefy (4) 11. Overthrow of a government (4) 12. Slice of bacon (6) 15. India’s smallest state (3) 16. Another German water sprite (7) 17. Bring out of a state of sleep or relaxation (5) 18. Squander (5)

Down 1. One of Three Musketeers (5) 2. Sharp-toothed fish (9) 3. Another Gaelic sport played with sticks and ball (6) 4. Building brick toy (4) 5. Native of the Lone Star State(5) 7. You can squirrel away ideas or thoughts in them (9) 10. Allotment favourite susceptible to ghostly chills (6) 11. Rolled from leaves, often kept in humidor (5) 13. Lift up (5) 14. Adhesive (4)


Easy Squeezy

3 5








5 3

6 2

7 7 6 5


1 2 4 8

4 2

1 4





8 2

5 4







Brain Squeezer

Sudoku No.10


Down: 1. Comma 2. Folktales 3. Slower 4. Soya 5. Lupin 7. Bumptious 10. Gentle 11. Stash 13. Yodel 14. Anne

7 1

4 4



9 1

8 6



7 3 8





April/May Competition Winners! Congratulations to... Crossword Gingerbread man & goodies: Tracey Benstead, Market Harborough Dingley Races Family pass: Louise Finch, Market Harborough Fabulous Flowers basket: Anne Cowan, Market Harborough If you are a business and would like to donate a Squash prize or sponsor a page, we would love to hear from you. Please contact us on 01327 577 101, 07925 430 001, or email us at

Squash is published by Squash Publications Ltd. Registered in England No. 07850590 Cedar Hay Farm, School Lane, Yelvertoft, Northants NN6 6LH Tel. 01327 577 101 Email Website The views and opinions expressed in Squash including those claims and opinions expressed in any advertisement are independent of, and do not necessarily reflect, the views and opinions of the publishers. The publishers cannot accept responsibility for the accuracy of the advertisements placed by advertisers. Editorial material does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publishers and neither editorial nor advertisements are to be read as recommendations on the part of the publishers. All advertisements and editorial are published in good faith and advertisers are asked to provide advertisements that are accurate, legal and honest. No part of Squash may be reproduced without permission.


. The 10 Top Tips..

Sponsored by:


Branding It’s tough out there for all businesses, and particularly for small to medium size ones. The right branding can make the difference between failure and great success. 1. Make sure you choose a company that has real experience - preferably in big city agencies, where they will have worked with big brands and have learnt from the best in the industry. 2. Reading a book on marketing does not make anyone a marketer. It’s the ability to act on it that is the skill. 3. Having a brand that looks similar to your competitors won’t work – you need to stand out from the morass of messages out there. A strong brand is relevant to the target audience, but also original and unexpected in order to grab attention. 4. The agency you use must understand you and the business that you are in – ask what research they do before they start to create anything for you. Ask what the proposition is, for example.


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8. Ask about previous clients’ Return On Investment, and call up past clients to see what they think of the product and service they received. 9. A good website is paramount these days. Again, it should not just be one that looks like everyone else’s. And on commissioning a new website, make sure that you own it and can transfer any files if and when you wish to. 10. Invest as much as you can in your brand and see it as that – an investment, not a cost. Good investment pays dividends – often very quickly.

Would your business like to sponsor 10 Top Tips? Contact

Call 01327 577 101 or 07925 430 001 to advertise.




u e co un

Up s t J di hou % g 20 hrou t li es





Introducing our exciting new range of original and beautiful Italian tiles, stones and mosaics. Come and see us in our showroom, meet our friendly staff and enjoy one of our famous freshly ground coffees todayy

As individual as you are!

Market Harborough Squash april may  
Market Harborough Squash april may  

Market Harborough Squash april may 2013