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Cranberry Cove Gazette

VOL. 13

Cranberry Cove, January 2014 Late Night Edition

Today, Frigid & Cold, high 21F, low 6F. Tonight, Partly Cloudy, low 6F. Tomorrow, Snow showers, high 24F.

$1.50

“In the know around the Cove!”

The Tragic 6: Innocent Girls Stolen Away Town struggles to find clues

by Holly Fairweather

The case is going on about two months, and yet two more females being the ages of 18 to 19 were reported as missing. The abductions bring the dire Police today have confirmed that ‘Sammy’ Bucinelli will be bound total up to 6 different women or teens taken from over for trial after being formally charged with a string of offenses the town. The police and even the local communicommitted within the town. Bucinelli and his accomplice, Joey ties are asking for help, any tips whatsoever in Santoni were arrested back near midnight on the 8th of February order to help break the case and bring the culprits after an armed Hostage Situation with Moodus County Deputy to justice. Not just the town but even members of Sheriffs, after being discovered stalking a local girl by the local the Nepaug Nation are working to offer everything office’s commander, Lieutenant Mac Gaelyth. Shots were fired from rewards to locally run neighborhood watches. during the standoff, Injuring Lieutenant Gaelyth and seriously

Bucinelli To Face Trial

At least three suspects have been named, but it is not enough for some families who vow that they will not rest until they see their female loved ones again. What was notable about the suspects is that they were under the employ of Interface Inc., parent company owned by Cranberry Cove’s newest resident Mr. Anthony Blackstonne. Later Blackstonne went on record as being stunned by this revelation and quickly terminated any ties or employment of the two men stating that they were acting on their own and not under any orders of his or his company chairmen. Despite this, the authorities have started a separate investigation into the intrepid company that already has left a bad taste in the mouths of many Cranberry Cove residents, particularly those of the fishing community.

injuring Joey Santoni, who later died of his injuries in hospital after being shot twice in the chest in return fire. Bucinelli himself was injured not by the police during the incident, but by a crow, attacking him causing claw marks on his face and arms. He involuntarily released the hostage whilst under attack by the crow, whom wildlife experts presume was defending its nest. Bucinelli faces Life Imprisonment during the course of the trial, currently being accused of attempting to murder local Businessman Rain Williamson last year, as well as conspiring to not only commit murder, but the Arson of Mr. Williamson’s bar with Santoni, combined with holding the young woman hostage. Questions, however, are being raised as to why Joey Santoni and Sammy Bucinelli returned to Cranberry Cove, despite being the subjects of a State Wide manhunt, however the Sheriff ’s Department are remaining tight-lipped about this particular subject. One theory voiced by a local Deputy was that they returned to ‘finish the job’ in regards to the attempted assassination of Rain Williamson.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Have you Seen Us?

Rebecca Mulligan, 18 Local student at Bourgeois College. 5’6, weighs about 125 pounds and has red hair. She was last seen wearing a purple winter parka, black ugg boots and jeans.

Rachel Jenkins, 19 Local student at Bourgeois College. 5’6”, dark hair with a pierced lip. She was last seen wearing a black trench coat, blue faded jeans, brown boots and a pink sweater.

Elizabeth Amiot, 20 Local farmhand and herbalist 5’9”, dark brown dreadlocks with woven beads &feathers. She was last seen wearing a rose colored jacket, white boots, and a white backpack.

Diana Tornworth, 21 Local bike mechanic 6’1”, short jet black hair. She was last seen wearing leather jacket bearing a large wolf insignia, black pants, and grey sweater.

Melissa Gibbs, 18 Volunteer & female advocate Roughly 5’10” with long black hair and slender, last seen wearing a dressed in flower dress and a ribbon in her hair

Rosalie Bourgeois, 19 Local student at Bourgeois College. Olive skin, brown eyes and dark brown hair, and a petite frame. Was wearing jeans, black sneakers, a burgundy sweater and a gray wool Pendleton coat.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Main Kidnap Suspect found DEAD by Holly Fairweather A corpse washed up near the Blue Hill Bridge on Cranberry Cove, late at night on the 28th of February. Deputy Sheriffs on the scene refuse to comment about the corpse itself, however a Post-mortem examination later performed by the County Coroners identified the corpse as that of 33 year-old Neil Jacob, who was wanted by Police in connection with the recent kidnappings that has happened over the past few weeks. The news came off a hollow victory in the eyes of victims’ families because while there was a sense of justice for some, Jacob’s death left more questions than answers. Earlier in the month, a state-wide manhunt went out for Jacobs. Now in light of the alleged time of death, police are forced to conclude that while evidence might tie him to the earlier kidnappings, someone else is responsible for the two most recent abductions. Police had this to say at the time:

I understand there is a considerable amount of concern from the local parents, & we will be issuing a Curfew for any person under the age of Eighteen in this town, between the hours of 9 in the evening, til Six in the morning. I know full well that the victims of these kidnappings are over this age: I remind the parents of College Students aged eighteen and over and everyone else campaigning for a curfew for these students, that whilst they are your children, they are not children in the eyes of the law. Both the State and US Constitutions prohibits me from issuing a Curfew to anyone over the age of Legal Majority. I am however increasing the visible presence of the Sheriff ’s Department in this town, & will be instituting checkpoints across the town. I will also be coordinating with the Coast Guard to stop & search any boat capable of carrying passengers and hostages in and around our coastal waters. The county will also be posting permanent staff around the ports. I strongly urge anyone to report anyone suspicious around the Borgeous College grounds immediately to the Faculty and the Police. To the students, I say this. Stay safe: stay at home. Do not be on the streets after dark. If you need to leave your homes, make sure you do so with friends. Thank you. Lt Mac Gaelyth, Moodus County Sheriff’s Department (Cranberry Cove)

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Cranberry Cove Gazette NEPAUG NEWS

by Isaac Braveman

The Nepaug Nation is very much a part of the town of Cranberry Cove despite being an independent territory. An enterprising and rich culture, the Nepaug people have influenced many of the Cove’s traditional celebrations in addition to owning several businesses within the town itself.

The Mind, Body and Spirit Wellness Center Located across from the Cove Medical Clinic. The Wellness Center offers, massage therapy, traditional natural remedies and teas from resident herbalist Joel Passamaquoddy. There are also counseling sessions offered with Nation Chief, Joseph, and womens counseling with Nation Elder, Lily LaughingHeart.

The Heritage Steakhouse Located on the main docks, it is one of the first buildings seen by visitors exiting the ferry into Cranberry Cove. The Heritage Steakhouse is a Nation-owned business under the operation of Elk and Josette TwoRavens, as well as the management of Si’al and Miigis Memda. They serve traditional foods only and do not serve alcohol on the premises. The Heritage Steakhouse is available for private and catered functions, and is host to a student work program introducing teenage members of the Nepaug Nation to proper business and working etiquette

Little Coyote’s Home for Children

The Captain Zachary Alexander Bed and Breakfast

Little Coyote’s Home for Children, a local children’s orphanage and rehabilitation center is currently under ownership of the Nation as well and is in the process of renovating. Activities teaching young ones skills needed for better or returning social interaction with others as well as learning and maintaining their traditional upbringing will be the root of the revived establishments curriculum.

A recent acquisition of the Nepaug Nation, The Bed and Breakfast is under the new management of Nation members, Gage & Marie Drachios. After several restorations over the winter months, the B&B once again serves as a homey retreat for residents and visitors alike who seek a taste of the vintage hospitality of old.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Blackstonne’s Back for Good? by Darryl Rain Our inside sources were in attendance on the 22nd of February at the Captains Quarters Banquet event held by Mr. Anthony Blackstonne in honor of his recent purchase of the building, as well as to give back to the community through a date auction with proceeds going to an local charity. Mr. Blackstonne spared no expense at this party, having hired the Cove’s very own Amara DeBaunterHollowstone from the Bluefin Tavern to cater the night’s events. As always people tell us the food was to die for. Guests were packed at the tables as many were seen arriving for this event which was kicked off by Anthony Blackstonne giving a speech to the community. What has already shocking many citizens of Cranberry Cove beyond his purchase of the Captains Quarters, Mr. Blackstonne dropped a bigger bomb on those in attendance. It was learned that not only has Mr. Blackstonne purchased the Quarters, but he is also responsible for bringing us the new Chinese Restaurant on the corner of DeBaunter Lane and Short Street. In addition, Blackstonne has set in motions deals in the purchase of Ray’s Pizza, and Jerry’s Salon, both located on the same block as the Chinese restaurant. The biggest bomb yet was that Mr. Anthony Blackstonne also informed his guests about a deal in the works for Deer Isle, to build a private residence and Spa. Considering Deer Isle is largely established as Nepaug Nation territory, there are many sources looking into possible illegal purchase of protected lands. Guests were over heard being in shock and disbelief at the news, as Mr. Blackstonne seems set on becoming a full time resident of Cranberry Cove, and this was before all the fun was had with the Date Auction charity held for the Little Coyotes’ Home for Children. It appears everyone enjoyed the Auction as $95.100.00 was raised for a good cause. The final results are not in as it appears the last Auction for a young woman came to an abrupt end with a high bid of 17,000 from Ember Delaney-Williamson, but things seemed a little off with this final auction, and we are trying to gather more information. (Continued on page 6)

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Nova Mai’s Night Cap Hey there chickies! Have you been following the Friday scene lately? DJ Devo’s rocking it out during 80s night. During one show, there was a curious shoutout to a nurse that drew blood for him. Will there be wedding bells in the KOVE soon? A little birdy told me that more than a few people got the wedding bliss itch this month. Heck even I nearly felt the urge to make a nightly fling a permanent thing - imagine that! How about those Long Island Iced Teas huh? You know the bars are going to be rockin’ and rockin’ hard for St. Patty’s. The Hose & Harp as well as the Drunken Duck are already offering drinking game nights for the month of March! Be sure to stop by the station and tell me all about them!

Keep on keepin’ on, chickies!

Date Auction Results (continued) Kedderick Vanderhoven won by Sarah Starsider for $900 Megan Matthews won by Sebastion Muircastle for $700 Sera won by Isolde Douglas for $500 Mikie Rhiadra won by Kedderick Vanderhoven for $5,000 Ember Delaney won by Blackstonne for $85,000 Sarrah Starsider won by Giada Bedrosian for $1000 Last bid was to Ember Delaney for $17,000** **(Auction ended abruptly, Amount disputed)

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Word of Mouth Did ya hear....

Word Around Town is...

Old barrels of ale were cited as the reason for a series of rash and sudden weddings, dates, and more than one night stands during the month of February. Expect a baby boom!

The Hot Alchemy teacher at Bourgouis College is secretly tapping some young students eager to learn the history of chemistry...first hand. - Howyoudoin’

- A little birdy

I heard that... The Bluefin Tavern’s actually selling poached Deer Isle game meat as a replacement for their shrimp specials. This is why it is best to go vegan! - PETA Pan

Word on the Street is... The Cranberry Cove clinic workers are salvaging body parts for sale on the black market. The girls are there.

The Sisters of Mercy Sanitarium Offering peaceful closure and rehabilitation to those in need. Enjoy cozy rooms, healthy warm meals, and the utmost in quality care. Our staff is ready to help you recover and return to a life of normalcy. • • • •

Rehabilitation Counseling Adult Care Treatments for Mental Disorders

We are currently looking for Qualified individuals to help the troubled souls of Cranberry Cove through this difficult time, including therapists, security officers, nurses, and cooks. Please contact our Director of Services for further details. Page 7


Cranberry Cove Gazette Cravings ‘n Savings!

Grilled Oysters with Fennel Butter

Submitted by Avon DeBaunter The Original Aphrodisiac of the Gods Two Ways!

Ingredients:

16 whole live oysters 2 cloves garlic, finely minced 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 3 tbsp unsalted butter 1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp chili pepper flakes (or substitute with dashes of Tabasco) 1/4 tsp salt cracked black pepper to taste 1 tbsp finely minced parsley

Preparation:

Heat a small sauce pan over medium-low heat. When hot, add the olive oil and the butter. Add the garlic and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the lemon juice, chili pepper flakes, salt, pepper and parsley. Turn off heat. If you can find large, fat oysters, you can place the oysters directly on the grill grates. It’s best to wear long, sturdy BBQ gloves so you can handle the oysters by hand instead of using tongs, spoons or spatula. However, if the oysters are small and flat, you’ll run the risk of spilling its valuable, flavorful juices as well as the garlic-butter sauce. You can do what I’ve done, which is to place the oysters on a bed of rock salt or rice in a small pan. Then place the entire pan inside the grill or under a broiler. This steadies the oysters and prevents them from wobbling. Shuck the oysters, spoon a little sauce in each oyster. Place oysters on a very hot, preheated grill, cover and cook for 5-6 minutes or until the edges of oysters curl slightly. But if you can’t shuck, place the oysters, cup side up on a very hot, preheated grill, cover and cook for 1 minute. The oysters should now be slightly open. Quickly remove the oysters. Hold an oyster with an oven mitt and use a shucking knife (or a clean screwdriver if you don’t have one) to pry open the oyster. It should easily open. Spoon sauce into each oyster and return oysters to the grill. Cover and grill 4-5 minutes.

Baked Oysters Servings: 24

Ingredients:

1 teaspoon fennel seed, ground 1 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 cup butter, softened 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon shallots, minced 24 unopened, fresh, live medium oysters 1 tablespoon chopped fennel greens

Preparation:

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F (260 degrees C). In a small bowl, blend together the butter, ground fennel seeds, shallots, fennel bulb, fennel greens, pepper and salt. Arrange the oysters on the grill or oven rack, cover and cook for 3 to 5 minutes or until they start hissing and begin to open. Using an oyster knife, pry each oyster open at the hinge, loosen the oyster and discard the flat shell. Top each oyster with 1/2 teaspoon of the fennel butter. Return to grill and cook until butter is melted and hot.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Honey Scallops

Cravings ‘n Savings!

Submitted by Edric Liason Honey for the Honey in your life!

Ingredients:

1 1/2 tbsp tamari soy sauce 1 1/2 tbsp clover honey 1 tbsp grainy Dijon mustard 1/2 tbsp seasoned rice vinegar 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flake 1 lb. large (U-10) sea scallops 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 tsp sesame seeds, toasted

Preparation: In a small bowl (or dressing emulsifier), combine together tamari, honey, mustard, vinegar, and red pepper flake; set aside. Remove muscle from scallops, and pat dry with paper towels, then heat oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Cook scallops in a single layer, flipping once, until golden brown and just cooked through- about 2- 3 minutes on each side. Transfer scallops to a large plate, keep warm. Reduce heat to medium, slowly adding honey mixture to the skillet and simmer briefly until reduced and thickened. Return scallops to the pan and toss gently with the glaze to coat. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve.

March Specials:

*NEW* Mardi Gras Beignets buy 3 for $2.99, get one for 50 cents. St. Patty’s Cupacakes buy 6 for $3.50 Get a free 1/2 sheet cake with a purchase of $50 or more Refer us to a friend and get your next sheet cake order free ($50 or more) (Excluding new items and current promotions)

We love to get reader submissions! Send us your tasty treats via the Gazette Office mailbox! Page 9


Cranberry Cove Gazette Ghost or Gas leak? Strange accident at Police Station

by Liza Donelly An unusual chain of events put a dent in the local civil offices of Cranberry Cove’s finest when sounds of screaming and hysteria broke out. One female officer, according to her coworkers, was sitting calmly at her desk when very loud screeches could be heard coming from nearby. The officers insist that she was not the one screaming, but soon after that, the female officer became violent and wild, striking and punching at the air like she was in a confrontation with an attacker. She eventually collapsed, but what happened next seems to be up for debate. Officers within the office claimed to see glowing light or figure in the middle of the room, captured above by one officer with his camera phone. However the wisps of light happen to cross over a small gas line, which lead the Lieutenant Mac Gaelyth to hit the alarms upon releasing a potential gas leak was present. Later investigation shoed some faulty pipes, but experts seems at odds over whether a gas leak had occurred. The entire ordeal is reminiscent of what occurred in the old Giande Saw Mill a few decades back, where a toxic gas leak was cited as the cause for a wave of madness among the mill workers which ended with a wave of suicides. The building was later condemned and abandoned. However this is not the only case of mass madness to hit the town in the month of February. Several people were admitted to the Sisters of Mercy Sanitarium after becoming so deeply enamoured with strangers that the facility was nearly overwhelmed. Cranberry Cove residents were rushing to the courts and church in masses to secure marriage licences for unions with people they may or may not have known more than a day or so. Even married couples were said to have ordered multiple renewal ceremonies within the same day... There is now an investigation into whether the town’s utility infrastructure may be in need of dire repair.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette ASK Juliet3

Straight Talk for the Cove You occasionally mention the courtship model of romance. What exactly do you mean by that? Mia Lovestruck Dear Mia Lovestruck, What a great question! Courtship is a method of finding and choosing your forever life-mate. It has become popular in the conservative religious communities and is slowly spreading as teens and adults find they need a better way to develop and evaluate relationships. Courtship requires people to get to know each other as friends within each other’s family settings. Courtship requires both participants to rely on and work with other trusted adults to discern whether this particular person would be the best person for a future marriage and family. Courtship helps people plan their futures together. There are many forms of courtship models currently available. Some require large amount of direction and intervention by a parent or other trusted adult and others have the parents involved but not directing everything. I like courtship because it takes the sexual pressure off people. It asks you to bring potential life-mate into your home and into your life so you can assess them in the everyday, not on dates. It asks you to spend time with the person in only group settings thus keeping the sexual pressure to a minimum. Additionally, it has you talking directly to another adult or group of adults you respect and who care about you about the relationship. So, lifetime decisions are not made in a alone & in a romantic thrall. You take care darling, Juliet²

Do men and women handle certain situations differently? An acquaintance of ours committed suicide. When I told my husband he said, “How stupid. He had everything going for him.” I quickly said that it wasn’t stupid, it was sad. My husband became very quiet. Did I come on too strong? Pennyforyourthoughts Dear Pennyforyourthoughts, When I state my opinion and have it overridden and corrected by someone else, I tend to become quiet too. On some levels, both of you are right. Some men tend to look at the surface of the story and see a situation that doesn’t make sense and therefore earns the label: “stupid.” Some women see the pain in the story and name it “sad.” Both are opinions. We each have the right to our own opinion. You don’t have to agree with an opinion, but you do have to respect it. Not the content of the opinion, but that he has it and it belongs to him.

If you’d like your questions answered by our tell it like it should be advisor, submit your inquires via postcard to the Gazette mailbox just outside our office on Parke Ave. You can also submit them via e-mail or anonymously by phone! Page 11


Cranberry Cove Gazette Entertainment Review by Erin Lightmis

The Sapphire has re-opened! After a successful first weekend, the revamped theater is poised to start showcasing more modern films as well as themed nights for things like Cult Classics and Horror Night. Currently showing the foreign film “Canadian Hustle” Rated R and lovable family film “Chilly,” the old school movie theater will be holding the showings over another month due to popularity. The Sapphire Theatre is still hiring folks! Applications welcome during its business hours. On top of bringing jobs to the Cove, the Sapphire Theatre is also open for event bookings. Contact manager Sarah Starsider for details on some of their booking packages! The Sapphire Theatre had been built back in 1918, and first showed silent pictures for about five cents a pop. As the film industry blossomed, so did the theater which eventually expanded to hold more individuals and offer concessions like popcorn, candies, and curiously, fried chowder poppers. Towards the end of the 1990s with the invention of DVDs and the like, the small cinema eventually fell into decline and closed its doors in the fall of 1999. But thanks to the efforts of a new owner and manager, the beloved cinema is back in business and offering the same movie nights of its successful past. Now when they will get back to serving chowder poppers is anyone’s guess... Got an artistic feature, submission, or event you’d like the Gazette to cover? Submit your inquires via postcard to the Gazette mailbox just outside our office on Parke Ave. You can also submit them via e-mail or anonymously by phone!

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Entertainment Review by Cornelia Fitzhugh This last weekend I had the misfortune of visiting the Sapphire Theater to see a film entitled “Canadian Hustle”. Before I discuss the film, I would like to point out that the Theater itself is quite lovely. It has undergone new management as well as some remodeling. All of the staff are very pleasant including the new manager, Sarah Starsider who was truly delight to speak with. I do urge everyone to visit this local establishment in the near future as it will surely benefit the Cove and become another jewel on the crown of this community. However, the film was the most dreadful work of film this author has seen in a long time. Canadian Hustle is a new movie starring William Shatner, Brad Pitt, and Chris Hemsworth. It is set in 1972 Canada where Shatner plays a con-man with his hapless partner Hemsworth. They are forced to work for a Mounted Police officer played by Pitt in order to escape a worse punishment and in order to escape their never-ending situation, they come up with an almost farcical plan to free themselves. I say almost farcical because had the farce been intended, it had the potential to be entertaining. The so-called acting by the stars was so atrocious that I could honestly not tell if their performances were ironic. Shatner at best resembles his days as Captain Kirk, his stilted words only making his over-reactions stand out prominently. Fans of his Star Trek days may enjoy his performance, if they pay attention to little else. I did find Hemsworth easy on the eyes, but unfortunately I found his performance spiritless. The only thing more outlandish than seeing Brad Pitt in a uniform for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, was his over-the-top Canadian accent. The entire cast was disjointed, leaving the audience wondering if any effort was put forth on the part of the actors in their performances or whether the director thought what he was seeing was somehow good. I wish that I could say that for all the acting missteps (or pitfalls in this case) the script was solid. But I cannot. Everything in the film seemed to build itself to a suspenseful ending that just did not deliver. The shocking twist you’ve come to expect in these types of films was more like a gently curving country road on which you can see the cow dropping pies from a quarter-mile away. If I said the script was written by an ape, I would feel sorry for the ape. The only saving grace of the movie was the brief cameo by Amy Poehler who plays Pitt’s girlfriend and whose charm is somehow able to breakthrough the clouds of everything else. Perhaps if she had been on screen more, the movie could have been saved, but even the sunshine of her presence isn’t enough to be any true relief. Page 13


Cranberry Cove Gazette Classified Ads

Mmmm smell that fresh ground coffee brewing?

Cranberry Cove Coffee Shop February Specials: Buy 1 cup of coffee, get one free Buy any breakfast sandwich, get the 2nd half off!

*NEW* Hot & Rosy Dark Chocolate $2.95 med. $3.95 Lg. Try two today, one for you and one for your honey!

THE SAPPHIRE THEATER

We Are Hiring! Call or go online! Applications accepted during regular business hours ((IM Sarah Starsider for more information))

YOUR AD HERE COULD’VE BEEN HERE! Advertise with the Cranberry Cove Gazette! Reach Hundreds of new customers on a regular basis!

Call or go online! Prices vary according to type of advertisement and size.

Quality one of kind antiques from around the world! Come in and browse, you never know what you might find! Fresh and dried herbs sold year round! Try our naturally made fragrances, soaps, and hair products!

Winter Specials

Peppermint & Chamomile tea blend for cold relief! Located in the Captain’s Quarters Plaza!

YOUR AD HERE! Advertise with the Cranberry Cove Gazette! Reach Hundreds of new customers on a regular basis!

Call or go online!

Prices vary according to type of advertisement and size.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette Classified Ads

The Hose & Harp Pub Located on the corner of Short Street & Williamson Drive, the

Hose and Harp Pub harkens back to the Irish Pubs of old! Come on down for a helpin’ of locally brewed ales & great atmosphere! Watch the games in style while rubbing elbows with the men and women of Cranberry Cove’s Fire Company!

The Bluefin Tavern will be offering regular specials every other day of the week and on the weekends Mondays – Fresh Soup and Sandwich Day Wednesdays – Lobster Lunch and Dinner specials for two Fridays – Family Night. Meals for kids are free while meals for adults are two for one Saturdays – Shellfish dishes are half off with a drink Sundays – Brunch Specials! Enjoy Breakfast specials done the Bluefin way! Catering services and booking for private functions are available. Need help with planning your next function? Amara’s offering her event coordinator skills. She make sure that everything needed to get your unction on its way to being memorable is set and caters to all your personal touches! Call (207) 374 - XXXX [IM Amara Parmelee] for more information]

A Private Space Just for you! Reserve the Bluefin Tavern for private functions! Private Reservations of the Bluefin Tavern are available and must be made in person and in advance. Fees are to be paid upfront, no refunds sorry.

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Cranberry Cove Gazette HOROSCOPES

If a problem arises in one form or another on the 1st or 2nd, it’s important that you stay totally cool-as-a-cucumberthat’s-been-sliced-and-diced-and-usedto-create-the-face-of-a-late-wintersnowman (eyes, nose, mouth, ears, mustache). Then hit the gym to get your Aries blood pumping afterwards. By the 3rd 3/21 - 4/19 and 4th, that little problem will be a thing of the past, and pretty much everything is going extremely great. By the super emotional 10th and 11th, you could find yourself laughing, then weeping, then jumping for joy, then feeling a little melancholy. That’s awesome emotionality! Embrace it. Make a few plans on the 26th and 27th. By the 30th and 31st, you can’t stop laughing. Enjoy it!

You start the month out super in tune with the folks around you on the 1st and 2nd. In fact, it’s not just the folks around you, it’s everything: From the wind in your hair to the singing birds to the traffic lights, you’re just plain in sync with everything! Terrific. This can only mean Cancer good things for you! If you have had a 6/22 - 7/22 crush on someone for a long time now, it’s highly likely that they’ll call you on the 10th or 11th and ask you out on a really awesome date. Why? Because you are irresistible!

Ah, spring! Ah, flowers! Ah, those chilled breezes that remind you that winter has not yet relaxed its grip! Ah! Breathe in this air of renewal on the 1st and 2nd. And talk to your friends about everything that’s going on, and all it is that you’re feeling, and if they have some Taurus advice about what you should do next, 4/20 - 5/20 go ahead and solicit it. You attract the attention of someone very, very cute, the way a flower attracts a honeybee on the 7th, 8th and 9th. Turn your petals towards the sun and let the pollen be collected! Soon, it will be turned into sweet, sweet honey. But expect a power struggle...

As the month gets going on the 1st and 2nd, you’d do better to focus your energies on art than on finance. So go to a museum, but don’t commit to any partnerships you haven’t thoroughly vetted. Paint with your fingers, but don’t refinance using a package you don’t Leo really understand the ins-and-outs of. 7/23 - 8/22 Where are you headed? But remember to focus! Where do you want to go? How much are you enjoying things now? You’re confident and radiant and warm and wonderful early in the month, but if there’s a problem, be sure to look under the hood. You might figure out what the true issue is.

Be sure to clear up that big job misunderstanding as soon as possible! By the super wonderful, super productive, super cheery 7th, 8th and 9th, you’re in a great spot to enjoy some great days! A few more communications issues could come up on the 15th and 16th, this time in your private life. Gemini Practice the misunderstanding correction 5/21 - 6/21 skills you were working on sharpening earlier this month. Be honest with yourself about how much power you have in this situation (it’s more than you might think!). Communicate, communicate and then talk it over some more on the 30th and 31st. You’ve been working towards this all month!

There are days when you just get so much done! And then there are days like the 1st and 2nd, when you probably won’t accomplish a heck of a lot. But don’t worry: After all, the journey is the destination, and as long as you’re enjoying yourself, that’s all that really matters. Virgo Those files will get organized another 8/23 - 9/22 day. Promise. You’re fun! There’s a spring in your step! You’re smart! You’re popular! You’re up for a big promotion, and you just might get it! Yay. Don’t forget that every cloud has a silver lining on the 22nd and 23rd. Sometimes what looks like a setback turns out to be the very best thing that ever happened to you. So roll with whatever comes your way!

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Cranberry Cove Gazette HOROSCOPES

If you aren’t sure if you’re coming or going on the 1st and 2nd, then it could be hard for you to make an informed choice when it comes to which direction you should be heading in. Don’t worry: Tread water for a little while and see where the current of life takes you. Libra The more active you can get with your 9/23 - 10/22 friends on the 12th, 13th and 14th, the better you’re going to feel. It’s great prep for the better energies coming your way mid month. Flirt your healthy little heart out! They are going to love every minute of it.

You are a veritable fount of creativity your fount is bubbling over on the 1st and 2nd! You feel so darn creative, it’s amazing. Now, your job is to channel this amazing energy into some super productive projects. Harness your imagination, and there’s no telling where it Capricorn might take you! Try not to take anything 12/22 - 1/19 personally, as a clear mind will be important. An objective point of view will really help you see a situation for what it is on the 19th, 20th and 21st. Postpone something you don’t have the energy for on the 30th or 31st.

Who doesn’t love romance, holding hands in the rain, holding hands in the sun, holding hands in the light dusting of snow, holding hands on the first day of a heat wave, heck, holding hands in whatever weather there happens to be, wherever you are on the 1st and 2nd? Scorpio Nobody, that’s who! And you’re going to 10/23 - 11/21 love holding hands like the best of them. You’re going to need to be brave in order to overcome the obstacles that you want and need and are capable of overcoming. Deep conversations, secret sharing, and romance are big on your agenda this month.

Ah, reevaluation. Sure, it can sound intimidating. But it can also be a total relief to reevaluate and realize that what you thought you had to have to be a complete human being isn’t so important, after all. So, even if a project scares you a little on the 1st or 2nd, reevaluAquarius ate. Go for it! Seriously. You’ll feel better 1/20 - 2/18 and clearer afterwards. You’ll probably feel happier, too. In all likelihood, things are not quite as they initially appear on the 15th and 16th. Give this thing some time, so you see beneath the surface of it all. Mind those feelings you have. They hold the key to what you should do next, now, and always.

Everybody has those days when the alarm goes off and you just want to keep lying in bed. If you have one on the 1st or 2nd, keep lying in bed, if you possibly can! If you must get up, then be gentle with yourself. Don’t work harder than you have to — if you can put something off until later and get some more rest now, do it! Being well rested is vital this

Your month gets off to an utterly amazing start on the 1st and 2nd. You’ve been working hard lately: Getting in touch with your feelings, communing with your deepest wishes, understanding your creative impulses, letting yourself love and really feel alive. Now, you’re in Pisces a perfectly receptive space as a series of 2/19 - 3/20 life’s gifts, big and small, flow your way. A sunny day, a major creative breakthrough, sweet words from a loved one: All of these resonate with the deepest parts of your being. It will feel wonderful.

Sagittarius 11/22 - 12/21 month!

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Cranberry Cove Gazette - February 2014