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Bio: Born of a union between an artist (ethnicity 2c) and a scientist (ethnicity 5b), Carol Shillibeer believes science-poetry is a fertile connection. Two ways of thinking, of hearing the world speak: adenosine tri-phosphate is a fundamental life metaphor. The similarities she sees between sci & po might be a case of convergent evolution, but OK, she can write with that too. Her poetry has appeared in Room, The Malahat Review, Ditch, CV2 and others.

first memory in fists last year's bramble leaves [the world is here (and i am hidden behind the)

smell of hyacinth's shadow]

brown hands hang from sweaters like dark fragrant flowers baby fingers uncurl [winter light snow shine, my eyes are mine] under the thorned door brown snow-suit with a white fur collar thorn|-|cane cave, through the roof, triangular the sky-blue [here 2 (i am, and me too, <and i > in and of) the world] 2



first memory (of i, and i , and i even ????) of fists filled with leaves the size of the child's face world-caul, mittens lay gently next to their attendant hands purple came with spring tucked under Its black beak brown hands, pearl-buttoned sweaters & artemesia breath this blue winter ; the world is opal-made ; dreams turn green <<even when wide-awake>> and so [the worlds ] have been given

The drowning-weight of pain; the terrible emptiness of future promise. Coffee dark and cardamon-sweet; the blue-glass horizonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;silence & echo. Vaulting fences: the dark ravine of an empty wallet.

When my hair breaks I let the long strands take


out the window. Somewhereâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; when winter diesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; there will be birds born

in a nest

woven with those grey relics.

[Archive] txp:if_different item="M11%" /> <!-- memento mori --> List: (in progress) dead dreams, 42 journals worth invisible people inside tired photographs moldy desires; infectious scar tissue unheard songs that skunk sings; recorded on 8-track abandoned pieces of what-i-once-thought-was-true (unknown number) divorcing siblings; thou-shalt-nots sticky with rancid horse glue (at least 10) broken necklaces; cloudy beads; de-quilled porcupine hides; dried out myrrh beading projects never completed; broken needles; rusty pliers marriage-gift vases with badly glued shards holding incense dust and the tail of a cat long since dead pictures, pre-death, infant of 18 months, her head lapping happily in the lake pictures, pre-death, infant of 2 days, already unconscious and falling through the arms of his mother pictures, pre-death, woman of 56 years, writing a book of poetry text books never read (8,731); trees never identified (uncounted); names of rapists never punished (uncounted, some now deceased, some still active) drawings never attempted (uncountable); songs never played (ibid); instruments

never attempted (n-4) broken bits of pencils; dead poems (innumerable); stories too scary or sad to write (n+1) ancestors never acknowledged (thought about incessantly); ancestors preferring invisibility (pictured); descendents (unknown number) pre-ancestral rocks (multi-millionaires re The Bank of Chronology) dying atop an altar to the empirical, pictured in black and white dreams that left me for dead (unknowable number); scores of medieval musicians, once played, now deleted yellowed ads for chemistry sets, never purchased (27 items, some much older than others) lavender, tobacco, mugwort, hierochloĂŤ bodies burning poems written but never read; unexpressed for fear of classification

Carol Shillibeer  
Carol Shillibeer  

text, images, counterexample poetics