a l l e n i t n e S ThCeosta West Edition bag... that fits in your The Little Mag
Issue Nยบ27 February /March 2011
E E R F
902 9 02 10 107 7 111
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A Taste of What´s Inside ...
From the ED ... What an amazing start to the year, with the gorgeous weather making us feel great! And we thought it would continue, but as I write this it is freezing cold, raining and very windy!!! (Typical British – always moaning about the weather) So as 2011 really gets into gear, most of us should have blown away the 2010 cobwebs and Christmas holiday blues and planned our future, eventhough even the best made plans often go down the pan! We are going to make this a bumper year for all involved: to help the local community – expats and Spanish - to recover from what can only be described as an awful two years of struggle and strife. We have no doubt that you, our readers, have plans, ideas or even advice for this coming year and, here at the Sentinella, we want to hear about them. Let others benefit from your input. We are making the Sentinella as helpful as it is entertaining, so we would love to hear from you regarding any content you would like to see or even content you “don’t” want to see! If you are interested in getting involved and want to write articles for the magazine then we want to hear from you, so please feel free to get in touch. This is a rebuilding year, so let’s all pick up a brick and build together...good luck to one and all.
Don´t forget that all the regular jokes & funnies are found in all sections of the mag ...
Home & Garden ... Health & Beauty ... NEED to know ... Sports & Activities ... K ids & Teens ... Animals & Pets ... pg Entertainment ... General pages ... The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born: 1960 Died: 2004)
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@costawest No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!
Tiffany's Diamond Bracelet A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.
salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price.'
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
Home & Garden
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the
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Work carried out by small, medium or large team. Reliable, experienced and qualified tradesmen with impressive references. Fully legal and insured. Free estimate and advice. A professional service throughout. Darryl: 69 39 29 284 Richie: 67 25 95 167 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Home & Garden
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There has never been a better time to renew your windows. These cold winter months may have made you realise that your current windows and doors do not offer the maximum protection and insulation necessary to ensure that your home is warm and secure against the elements. Arcoplan has been manufacturing and installing Rehau and Thyssen PVCu windows and doors on the Costa del Sol for over 10 years. All of the products in their range are crafted from the highest quality PVCu and combine outstanding standards in energy efficiency and performance with stunning contemporary profiles. Whether you are looking for a white window, a traditional looking woodgrain replacement for timber, an authentically styled sash window, a
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PVC-U front door, French doors or even a conservatory, Arcoplan has the right solution for you and your property. Arcoplan specialise in arched windows and doors so you can install modern technology whilst retaining the traditional feel of your Spanish home. Their reputation is one of quality and reliability as well as competitive prices. Many satisfied customers can attest to the above. Based in the Centro Commercial Costa Muebles on the Mijas Road, Arcoplan has a showroom where the team would be happy to discuss your requirements. Arcoplan will also be pleased to send a surveyor to your home to conduct a survey and arrange for a free quotation. For more information, please contact Arcoplan on 952 667559 www.arcoplan.net.
Did you Know .... If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
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Home & Garden
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
Some Funnies ...
Home & Garden
Patrick's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins ... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine, however, they were poorly at birth, and had to be christened immediately so your brother Patrick came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, ' Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a clueless idiot ... Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,' Well, what's my daughter's name?
Two blonde girl s were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?' The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a
three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'
A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from ÂŁ50 to ÂŁ150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price.
Home & Garden
'Denise' says the doctor. The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother', she thought ...'I really like Denise ' Then she asks, ' What's the boy's name?' The doctor replies ' Denephew '
cont... He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Home & Garden
Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on do the modelling naked -return it tomorrow and get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'. So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose. The husband says 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'. His funeral is this Thursday.
Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.' Stephen downs his glass of the red wine thoughtfully and after a while responds, 'Think it over a bit more, Nige; women like that are hard to find.' Thanks to all of you who send in your jokes & funny stories! If you would like something published, just email us at: email@example.com
FOR SALE Volkswagen Polo 1.4, 2002 5 door, A/c, alarm, ITV 2013 Great little car: €3500 ono Tel: 608 832 770
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Some Easy to Do Exercise Tips from Princess Studios ... Nยบ3: The Plank: Strengthen Abdominal & core muscles, the back hips etc.
Start by lying face down on the ground or use an exercise mat . Place your elbows and forearms underneath your chest.
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Health & Beauty
Prop yourself up to form a bridge using your toes and forearms Maintain a flat back and do not allow your hips to sag towards the ground. Hold this position *focusing on tightening your abs* until you can no longer maintain a flat bridge. For beginners, start with 10 seconds. Return to start position and repeat.
Some Valentine's Day Facts. ,! 2)/ ), '!' !, )" 2)/, " '%&2 -/""!,%(# /((! !-- ,%&2
Health & Beauty
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As Valentine's Day comes once more, with flowers, chocolates and gifts let's take a look the secrets of this day... So on this Valentine's Day as your heart reaches out to your sweetheart, let this old but valuable trivia help you select the perfect gift for your loved one. Valentine Cards ... •Every year around 1 billion Valentine cards are sent across. After Christmas it's a single largest seasonal card-sending occasion. •Teachers receive the most Valentine's Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children between ages 6 to 10 years exchange more than 650 million Valentine's cards with teachers, classmates, and family members. Valentine Flowers/Roses... •Have you ever received Valentine Flowers? If you answer yes,I guess you are a woman. 73% of the people who buy Valentine's Day flowers are men, while only 27 percent are women. •A single perfect red rose framed with baby's breath is named by some florists as a "signature rose," and is the preferred choice for most for giving on Valentine's Day, anniversaries and birthdays. •The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. The color red stands for strong romantic feelings making the red rose the flower of love.
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The Works, Centro Commercial Contur Elviria, Marbella Tel: 952 836 899 www.theworksmarbella.com
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•Cupid is a symbol of Valentine's Day. Cupid was associated with Valentine's Day because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards and gift tokens holding a bow and arrows as he is believed to use magical arrows to arouse feelings of love. Love Letters and Poems...
•Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare's play lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters every year sent to Juliet on Valentine's Day. •The oldest surviving love poem tol date is written in a clay tablet from the times of the Sumerians, inventors of writing, around 3500 B.C.
Health & Beauty
The Works has a complete list of hair and beauty treatments from cutting and colouring, through to beauty treatments like facials, waxing, eyes and nails to name but a few. They also have a dedicated masseuse to attend to those tired muscles leaving you feeling both relaxed and refreshed.
Wear your Heart on your Sleeve... •In the Middle Ages young men and women drew the names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. They would wear this name pinned on their sleeves for one week. This was done so that it becomes easy for other people to know your true feelings. This was known as "to wear your heart on your sleeve".
Health & Beauty
Valentine Gifts... •On February 14th wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on Valentine's Day in Wales. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite Valentine decorations on the wooden spoons. This Valentine decoration meant, "You unlock my heart!" •The most beautiful and incredible gift of love is the monument Taj Mahal in India. Built by Mughal Emperor Shahjahan as a memorial to his wife it stands as the emblem of
the eternal love story. Work on the Taj Mahal began in 1634 and continued for almost 22 years and required the labor of 20,000 workers from all over India and Central Asia. •In America, the pilgrims used to sent confections, such as sugar wafers, marzipan, sweetmeats and sugar plums, to their affianced. Lot of value was placed on these gifts because they included what was then a rare product, sugar. After the late 1800's, beet sugar became widely used and more available, and sweet gifts continued to be cherished and enjoyed. •Amongst the earliest Valentine's Day gifts were candies. The most common were chocolates in heart shaped boxes.
Jean Gilhead is a Communications Skills Trainer and Life Coach with over 20 years experience facilitating workshops and helping people move through their fears and doubts around speaking in public. She runs ‘Best Move Forward’ integrative courses, which inspire people to recognize their greatness and fulfill their potential.
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Health & Beauty
Jean has also been running creative writing groups and workshops for over 15 years, in Barcelona and now in Andalucía. She has been writing short stories and articles all her life, contributes to ‘Hot English’ magazine and, as a result of winning a competition, has published a work of fiction called ‘Living in Bright Shadows’.
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If public speaking makes you perspire, interviews intimidate you and entering a room full of strangers gives you a serious case of the shakes, the Presentation Skills & Public Speaking Workshops are for you! We all have a book inside us – or at least a story or two. Come and develop your ideas in a relaxed environment! Here in the heart of Marbella, there is a quiet and comfortable space where we can think and dream, invent and create... at the Creative Writing Workshops. For more information, please contact Jean: Tel: Skype: Email: Web:
+34 952 913 727 bestmoveforward firstname.lastname@example.org www.bestmoveforward.com
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Non-resident tax returns. Incorrect assessment can be very expensive.
NEED t o Kn o w . . .
As a non-resident you should have submitted your 2009 annual tax declaration. If you have owned your property for several years, do not be surprised if you receive a communication from your lawyer or tax consultant advising you that this obligation should be fulfilled. If you are advised to include previous yearâ€™s declarations and to implement this requirement the amount deemed payable is excessive, do not automatically accept that the information with which you have been provided is correct and seek further advice. Costa Advice Bureau came across
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such an example. A non-resident was presented with a written quote for tax payable and fees totaling almost 9.000.00 euro. By some research and a careful study of the figures and with the correct advice the total including taxes due was reduced to 739.00 euro excluding IVA. Always seek a second opinion if you are advised to fulfill this requirement and the amount owed is excessive. Do not accept that the information with which you have been provided is correct.
Fear of being hounded for a mortgage debt. Dacion en pago (discharge all or part of
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Are you playing the Spanish Traffic Laws lottery? If you are driving a UK plated vehicle in Spain without a valid UK MOT, you are driving illegally. A Spanish ITV (MOT) sticker on your UK registered vehicle does not mean your car insurance is valid ... are you going to risk waiting until you need to make a claim before you find out? If you are resident in Spain and your car is in Spain for more than 180days per year, you are breaking the law. For further information on the above and any other matters contact: Mijas Office : 952 48 68 06 Email: email@example.com Estepona Office: 952 79 78 21 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Illegal buildings AndalucĂa governmentâ€™s talks indicate a change in the law. With at least 300.000 known illegal building scattered around AndalucĂa, the Coastal regions being the worst offender, the Junta recently held a planning convention in the Cadiz province, where it was decided to consider legalising the majority of the dwellings, with the owners liable to pay the costs. This is to include homes built on land lacking the meters necessary to comply with the planning laws and are even to take into consideration properties built without the relevant licences.
Estepona: 952 79 78 21 Mijas: 952 48 68 06 www.costaadvicebureau.com
NEED to Know...
a debt) is the preferred option but not always available. The normal route a bank takes against debtors, for whom all avenues have been exhausted ,is legal action to embargo your property. This will not leave you debt free and the bank is free to auction your property for up to fifty percent below its actual value. This, in effect, will leave you with the balance of the debt. At this stage, the amount owed will have raised substantially due to legal costs. Unable to pay the balance, the courts will give the bank the right to embargo your bank accounts, your salaries and any other asset you own including the family car as payment towards the debt. To date, we have no news of any debtors having to relinquish any asset, such as a property in their home country, but lawyers are pursuing this action in the hope of setting a precedent. Do not ignore the banks demands, but seek advice to attempt to obtain dacion en pago. This is not a route that the banks relish as they will themselves have to meet your debt. With property values at an all time low, this option is difficult, but not impossible, to achieve.
A feeling of love and security in the water provides the most effective introduction to the skills that will lead to your child swimming and becoming safe in the water.
Sports & Activities
Classes take place in Estepona on a Monday & Tuesday morning and a Wednesday afternoon and in Marbella on a Monday afternoon & Thursday Morning. With class numbers limited, to provide your child with the individual attention they need, we currently only have a few spaces left. Our teachers are the most experienced on the coast and with the current special course price Little Fishes classes are without doubt the best value for money.
Little Fishes- Spain ,
offer baby & toddler swimming courses that are different to traditional swimming lessons. Whilst the main emphasis is on having fun, the classes are highly structured, progressive and carefully designed. Without the use of armbands, our classes encourage free movement in the water that will enable your child to swim when they are physically and emotionally ready. Parents will be shown how to assist their babies to move on their own through and under the water, offering physical support, praise & encouragement.
wordsearch - dogs !
AIREDALE, ALSATION, BASSET, BEAGLE, BLOODHOUND, BOXER, BULLDOG, CHIHUAHUA, COLLIE, CORGIE,
DACHSHUND, DALMATIAN, DOBERMAN, GREAT DANE, GREYHOUND, HUSKY, LABRADOR, PEKINGESE, POINTER, POODLE,
PUG, ROTTWEILLER, SETTER, SPANIEL, TERRIER, WHIPPET.
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ADANA 5 February - Car Boot Sale 10.00-14.00 at Bar Eden on the Forest Hills road. Stalls costs â‚Ź10. Commercial traders not permitted. There is plenty of space for stalls so if you have goods to sell â€“ or like a rummage amongst other people's- this is the opportunity!
Kennels: for enquiries relating to adoption of dogs, lost animals, unwanted and abandoned animals, please contact the kennels between 10am and 1.45pm: Tel: 952-113-467 or email email@example.com Administration: all other enquiries: Tel: 952-797-405 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
A Dog in Need is a Friend Indeed! Every time I see a person accompanied by a less-than-handsome dog, I automatically get a ‘good feeling’ about that person; the same as when I am asked for a consultation with a dog whose behaviour clearly leaves room for improvement and the owners tell me “We adopted him from a rescue centre – we know nothing about his past”.
For more information on dog behaviour or to arrange a consultation, call: 952 904 973 or email email@example.com Sylvia FitzSimons, Canine Psychologist
Pets & Animals
Dog psychologists love working with rescue centre adoptees; they are the ultimate challenge in behaviour modification – all we have to go on in order to diagnose the problem and, consequently, modify their behaviour is what we can see for ourselves, plus our knowledge of how dogs learn and how their brains and emotions develop.
If you are not in a position to adopt a dog, perhaps you could foster one for a limited period? Either way, it’s worth paying a visit to the local rescue centres. You can find a list of these on our website www.barrysdogstore.net or call me for details of others.
Rescue-dog owners walk their dogs with pride, and so they should.These dogs have got “I am loved” written all over them, as opposed to “I cost a fortune” in the case of some posh pups and ‘designer dogs’ (poor things, I say, despite the high price tag). This winter has been plagued with disasters for local animal rescue centres and their inmates: flooding at PAD (Mijas) just before Christmas, in which 20 animals lost their lives and all the equipment and supplies were destroyed; Triple A (Marbella) desperate for adoptions, due to an overload of incoming dogs like they have never seen before; the horrendous discovery of the unlawful killing of over 2000 dogs at Parque Animal (Torremolinos) and subsequent arrests of those responsible, to mention just a few. Fortunately, local animal lovers are quick to help out in any way they can when these things happen.
Dog Psychology & Behaviour Modification 952 904 973 / 679550490 www.barrysdogstore.net
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WHAT IS A VIRTUAL ASSISTANT (VA)? A VA is a self employed person whom a business owner can utilise at a moment’s notice to help their business. A Virtual Assistant works from their own office so the associated costs of employing a full/part time employee
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NEW BEDS at DISCOUNTED PRICES -6 % 0% 0 - 5 firstname.lastname@example.org 952 886 067 / 689 000 754
to take the band on and restore that reputation I jumped at the chance” Joining Pete in the band is drummer Paul Hodge and guitarist Stephen Toals. ‘Hodge’ was a founder member of Rockabilly legends The Sharks whilst Stephen is fast establishing himself as one of the best guitarists around. Meanwhile the recent departure of bass player Dave Speers, left Remember when bands were all a huge gap until the band heard that Keith about the music and not about the Bradshaw was looking for a new challenge after the demise of local band The Sanhype? Well, Costa Rock is just that. The dancers. band is going from strength to strength after a complete change at the beginning This year has seen Costa Rock play of this year, when founder member Rob throughout the coastal and inland areas Thorby decided to hand over the reins to with regular fixtures at renown music venue in Malaga, The ZZ Pub and The Zepvocalist Pete Carter. pelin Bar in Alhaurin El Grande. “The key to a great band is whether they Pete knew of the legacy he had inherited: are asked back,” Pete explains “And we get “Costa Rock was always THE band people asked back everywhere we play, with one spoke of as one of the top acts in the venue even booking us for regular appeararea,” he said “So when Robert asked me ances throughout next year after we'd finished our first set!” It's not just the band that got a make-over, the music got a major facelift too which explains the presence of a few surprises in the set now. Costa Rock now don't just tip a hat to the Rock legends of the 60's and 70's, but now they also make tribute to acts such as The Mission, Kings of Leon, Snow Patrol, Radiohead, Duran Duran and Gary Numan. Along with various private functions Costa Rock is certainly finding things very busy. So if you want to see what all the fuss is about pop along to the following gigs: JFebruary 11th Louie Louie - Estepona February 26th Auld Dubliner - Estepona March 5th Casita De Aperros - Alora March 18th - Rumours - Alora March 19th Auld Dubliner - Estepona March 26th - Rock Island Line - Fuengirola Port
Bring to the boil enough water in a large saucepan to cover the prawns. Add 2-3 tablespoons of salt.
St Valentine’s Day is really an excuse for another day of indulgence. So this is something that will be appearing on my Valentine’s table. There’s nothing Spanish at all about the following dip but it is an incredible match for the wonderful Gambas caught off these shores. Look to buy raw, unpeeled prawns, the best that you can afford. I really like the small prawns from Sanlucar or Huelva. They are a fiddle to peel but they are the sweetest prawns you will ever taste. I actually eat the shells but not the heads – I save them for my stock. When you drain the prawns, save the poaching liqueur into which you can add the discarded prawn shells to boil for your stock for future use.
Valentine Cocktail ... Agave Kiss
Prawns with Dipping Sauce Enough prawns bought fresh from the fish counter to feed assembled company 2 cloves garlic crushed or grated Chopped red chilli to taste or a pinch of dried red chilli flakes approx. 4cm fresh ginger, finely grated 4 tablespoons fish sauce (available in most large supermarkets in the Oriental section) 2 tablespoons lime juice (about 1 lime). (Tip: Roll it before cutting to make it easier to juice) 4 tablespoons water 2 tablespoons caster sugar
Whilst waiting for the water to boil, assemble all the dip ingredients in a jar and shake like mad. When the water comes to the boil, add the prawns. After 30 seconds stir gently to mix them around a bit. When the prawns start to float to the top, stir again. Cooking time will depend on the size of the prawns but approx 2-3 minutes. When they float to the top they are ready. Drain and run under the cold water tap to cool down. Decant dip into a shot glass per person into which you dip your prawns and serve immediately. The dip is totally delicious if poured over a mixture of noodles, fresh coriander and shredded chicken etc.
Ingredients: 2 oz Herradura Tequila Silver 1 oz white creme de cacao 1 oz double cream 1/2 oz Chambord white chocolate flakes for rimming fresh raspberries for garnish Preparation: In a cocktail shaker with ice, add Herradura tequila, white crème de cacao, double cream and Chambord. Shake for 15 seconds. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass, rimmed with white chocolate, add a spear of fresh raspberries, and serve.
As time goes by from year to year, One thing is surely true, my dear; Though decades come and decades go, Just seeing you sets me aglow.
I said to you, "Oh, please be mine; Be mine forever, Valentine."
Time shifts my body; I start to sag, When I pass a mirror, it can make me gag. My joints all ache; I can hardly move; Still a smile from you, and I’m in the groove.
I must have seemed like quite a fool, Although I thought I was being cool . I swore that we would never part, As I put my hand upon my heart. Had I been thinking with my head, I'd probably have fled instead.
Getting older can be a pain, But with you along, I can’t complain. Despite the things that we go through, I know I’ll never stop loving you.
Your loving heart turns life to play, As we laugh at time from day to day. So I write this poem, and I’ll hang my sign, Saying, "Always Be My Valentine."
8. Erratum 15. Maxim 16. Somersault 17. Curse 19. Focusing glass 20. Tardy 22. Antlered animal
Down 1. Beige 2. Backside 3. Artisan
4. Rob 5. "___ the season ..." 6. Abnormal 7. Stars and Stripes
Across 1. Memorable periods 5. A bunch of hair 9. Surely 10. Charge per unit 11. Break 12. Murres 13. Back then 14. Be adrift 16. Law enforcement agency 18. Not sharp 21. Shoestring 23. Neighborhood 24. Lacking in refinement 25. Fringe benefit 26. Alternatively
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