August 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/07/16 5:24 pm Page 52
Medical Mayhem
Giving a Sample:
A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, “WHAT? What did he say? What’s he want? His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”
Warning, Wet Paint: A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed." Hippocratic Odes:
There once was a young man called Ben, Who went out to pull nurses again, He met one called Kate, Had her laughing by eight, But she had him in stitches by ten.
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A nurse who was getting quite bored, Grabbed a doctor and mounted his sword, The passion soon passed, And now she transferred at last, Now she’s on the maternity ward.