Paranoia
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In 1997’s Air Force One, Harrison Ford’s U.S. president bellows at Gary Oldman’s terrorist, “Get off my plane!” The circumstances surrounding that face-off are far more exciting than the ones in Paranoia, in which
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Ford’s crusty CEO yells at Oldman’s cranky CEO, “Get off my Facebook page!” OK, that snatch of dialogue isn’t really uttered over the course of the film, but its inclusion might have at least broken the stupor caused by the rest of this grueling, 100-minute bomb. I’ve seen worse films in 2013 (albeit not many), but I doubt I’ll see anything this year as soul-crushingly boring as this techno-turkey, a ridiculous and risible film that’s about as thrilling as a telephone busy signal. Liam Hemsworth, the younger brother of Thor (Chris Hemsworth), plays Adam Cassidy, who’s tired of slaving away for minimum pay at a New York tech firm headed by Nicolas Wyatt (Oldman). Adam and his colleagues hope to improve their lots in life with their presentation of a new cell phone design, but Wyatt is so unimpressed that he fires them all on the spot. As revenge, Adam takes the team out for an expensive night of partying, all on the company’s credit card (because, as we all know, entrylevel employees not only have access to unlimited corporate funds but also aren’t asked to hand over all company property upon dismissal - like, oh, credit cards). While out carousing, Adam meets the gorgeous Emma Jennings (Amber Heard), and it’s back to her place for some late-night whoopie. The morning after proves to be a downer for Adam, though. Knowing that the lad racked up $16,000 worth of booze on that piece of plastic, Wyatt gives him a choice: Go to jail for fraud or work for him as a corporate spy by landing a job with business rival Jock Goddard (Ford) and stealing his secrets. Adam opts for the latter route, and he’s particularly startled when he sees that one of his coworkers at Goddard’s company will be none other than - holy plot contrivance, Batman! - Emma Jennings. In a city with over eight million people, he ends up working alongside the woman he just met in a bar the night before - in the immortal words of that learned scholar and titan of industry Curly Howard, “What a coincidink!” A movie like The Social Network and a TV series like Alias proved that the world of gadgetry and computers can be just as exciting as any car chase or mano-a-mano skirmish, but Paranoia is so ineptly made that the ride
33 AUG 21-AUG 27, 2013 | WWW.CONNECTSAVANNAH.COM
dares to dismiss family favorite Sidney Poitier as an Uncle Tom. The Butler is at its best in those moments when it’s addressing how the different approaches of two men to racism - one working from within, one from without - can be equally valid courses of action and might even complement each other. The rest of the time, the film is entertaining but awfully slender - a light look at heavy history. The Forrest Gump approach of hopscotching through 20th century America worked better in that fantastical film than in this ostensibly more serious effort. Louis gets to chat with Martin Luther King, attend a Malcolm X rally, participate in a lunch counter sit-in, join the Freedom Riders for a dangerous drive through the South and hang out with the Black Panthers; in short, he does everything except refuse to move to the back of the bus. Cecil, meanwhile, gets to play Gump by appearing in scenes with Kennedy, Nixon and others - only instead of being expertly injected into archival footage of the historical figures, the character plays opposite movie stars cast as our Commandersin-Chief. It’s an unnecessary tactic that serves to lessen the importance of the film, as it’s impossible to accept most of these A-listers in these roles. James Marsden plays JFK close enough to the vest that he’s a harmless choice, and Liev Schreiber at least makes us laugh with his bulldog impersonation of LBJ. But it’s a cheap, disposable parlor trick - a prez dispenser, as it were - casting Robin Williams as Eisenhower, Alan Rickman as Reagan and especially John Cusack as Nixon. Hiring unknowns for these roles would have been a more sound decision, one that would have better maintained the integrity of the film. Instead, their miscasting only rekindles those flickering images of John Wayne standing up there on Golgotha, decked out in Roman garb but clearly longing for that place where the deer and the antelope play.
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