CMl®l?l?W ©[rul?~~~m~~~ CHRISTMAS MAY HAVE BENEFITS, BUT THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT THE WHOLE STORY. GRAHAM D/GG/NES INVESTIGATES .. .
BAD POINTS Thl' pmt Chri;tmas h<' hang-ovt>r is still in full effect, a televised Her Majesty b lamenting another 'annw, horribi/us' and the brussl'l sprouts from the Christmas dinnt>r are giving granny the wind. Lets face it, Christma; stinks- quite literally- and here's why .. 1 it costs an arm and a leg. The festive season may be a capitalist free-for-<1/1 with presents flying left, right and centre, but students oftt>n find themselves doing the kind of jobs Calcutta's dispossesed would laugh at just to afford it all. 2 You have to spend time with your family. Mum dnd Odd may be useful sornetinws, but being cooped up with them for the whole of Christmas would try the patience of d sdint. And as for pesky broth<'rs dnd -,isters, forget it.
5 Christmas music is crap. Slade may well "wish it could be Christmas everyday," but the onslaught of cheesy tunes heralded by the festive season make even the ;ulphurous flames of Hades an inviting pro;pect in comparison.
GOOD POINTS Snow is falling, the halls are decked with boughs of holly, people are brimming over with goodwi/l ... hmmrnm, maybe not, but Christmas is still the clog's proverbials - and here's why.
J The t0/evision progr<1mrnes suck. NcH'I Edmonds is dusted down (no doubt thanks to his unfortunately festive name) and helped into one of his trademark dodgy sweaters, before blessing some unsuspecting member of the public with his latest bit of 'charity' work. Hopefully this year Noel's 'chopper' will encounter low flying turkeys ... they don't fly! ... Damn. 4 Christmas serves as an excuse for people to take liberties. Taxi drivers triple their charges ~ after midnight, pubs charge for admittance ~;t";T--.r;..;.(j"i'.) (;D and rosy cheeked children beg shamelessly under the guise of carol singing. Humbug!
remind said partner or trdffic warden that it's Christmas and you'll get off scot free (probablyl 1 2. University i; closed owr Christm<l'> 1 l. Material Gain. Baby Jesus may have been good enough for gold, frankincense and myrrh, but let's face it - today's students fancy something rather more filling. Play;lations, spirits and jewellery perhaps? Also, don't forget to ask for receipts (under the guise of insurance requirements, of course) - then simply return all unw<lntPd prPzzies in f,wour of hard cash' 4. Food and Flirting. Christmas in all its holy glory is, rather paradoxically, renowned tor tlw opportunities it offers to those who want to indulge in the sins of the flesh. Nobody wants to be accused of not entering into the spirit of Christmas, so whether it's tucking into mince pies and Christmas pud, or gPtting clown to it under the mistletoe, Christmds rocks . 5. You Cdn act liked slob. The Pntire Western
Whether you park on a double yellow line, or drink so much you're sick on your partner's shoes, all you have to do is
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