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NOVEMBER 2013

Contents FEATURES 6 When the Children Cry Out – What will the Church Do? 12 Abu Murray and the Oklahoma Wesleyan University Apologetics Conference 14 The Highlands of Owasso - Stately Comfort for the Average Senior 17 How to Put on a Great Party 18 Why eat Grass-fed Beef - Cimarron Meat Market 20 Catherine Zoller, Author 22 CR on Thankfulness 25 The Great SmokeOut...Your Time to Quit 28 ORU Section EVENTS 34 Jim Brickman 35 White Christmas Musical COLUMNS 24 ACT Financial, Randy Cowell 33 Grace Hospice 36 Marriage, Dr. Kevin Neiman 36 The Heart of the Matter, Deniece Adsit 38 The Biggest Loser, Danny Cahill

PUBLISHER & editor  Tom McCloud CREATIVE Director  Ramond Walker CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tom McCloud, Randy Cowell, Deniece Adsit, Dr. Kevin Nieman, Ava Hancock, Danny Cahill, Blythe Fowler, Karen Hardin www.mccloudmedia.com • www.communityspiritmagazine.com TULSA Sales Office 10019 S. 69th E. Ave. Tulsa, OK 74133 phone: (918) 307-2323 fax: (918) 528-6209 Distribution Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, Christian bookstores, and other businesses. Call us today to deliver to your church. Community Spirit Magazine is published monthly by McCloud Media. Claims by advertisers and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher, Equipment Publications, Inc. Philippians 2:1-2 “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Our Mission: 1. Build Community – Develop a sense of community among all local believers in Christ 2. Inspire Good Works 3. Support Families 4. Share the Good News of Jesus Christ Fan us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CommunitySpiritMagazine

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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WHEN CHILDREN CRY OUT What will the church do?

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onight as we slept, children cried. Most of us are not in a position to ever hear them, but they cried just the same. Confused, abandoned and desperate for a love and security they may have never experienced, they reach out in the darkness for help. Most have been separated from their families due to either abuse or neglect. For their own protection, the court has ordered the Department of Human Services (DHS) to gather them up, along with their few belongings, to be temporarily cared for by the state. If family members are not available to step in to help, the children are placed in the Laura Dester Emergency Children’s Shelter where they can be safe. But even though the facility is nice and the staff is loving, it is not home. Separated from their family and often from their brothers and sisters, they cry out in confusion. In any one night, there are around 100 children in the shelter. They stay there until a foster home becomes available. Sometimes the wait is long. As of June, there are 1580 children in DHS custody in Tulsa County, and only 233 Foster homes. The children range in age from infants to teens. “Many of these kids have been physically, mentally or sexually abused or neglected. The emotional scars can be seen in their eyes. Too often, the abusers are the very people the kids rely on to be their protectors, but instead often are an abusing mother, father or family member,” explained John Venture, cofounder of Life Launch, a Stand in the Gap ministry. 6 

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“They desperately need someone who will commit to them until they can go back home,” added Rachelle Roosevelt, Vice President of TFI Family Services, a leading Child Welfare Organization. But unfortunately for some, going home never happens. And unless the right people intervene and come to the rescue, they will bounce from one temporary foster care home to the next until they finally turn 18 years old. By then, the problems are often too great to bare. In the United States, there are over 500,000 youth in foster care and an estimated 25,000 aging out. “Each year, in our own back yard, there are over 10,000 youth in foster care and over 500 aging out. Imagine being 18, on your own, with no mom or dad or family to provide direction and advice,” John Venture explained. The future for most of this kids is bleak with many of them ending up homeless, jobless, on drugs, in prison, prostitution or even dead. Here are some alarming facts. • 60 percent of the girls will have a child within 4 years of leaving foster care • 45 percent are unemployed • 50 percent do not complete High School • 31 percent are arrested Venture indicated that recent studies predict that if nothing changes by the year 2020, more than 10.5 million children will have spend time in foster care and more than 300,000 will age out under that care, totally unprepared for this transition. Over 75,000 of them will experience homelessness.

“There are 1580 children in DHS custody in Tulsa County, and only 233 Foster homes.” Will Christians Come to the Rescue? In the early days of the church, infanticide was a routine practice, especially in Rome. A recent study published in an archeology journal focused on a site with around 100 bodies of babies all around the same age. They were not lovingly buried or even seemingly mourned, “but instead were cast into a sewer that ran beneath a brothel.” A letter dating from as early as 1 B.C. records the wishes of a husband to his wife regarding the upcoming birth of their child: “If - good luck to you! - you bear offspring, if it is a male, let it live; if it is a female, expose it.” “Expose it” refers to the practice of exposure, where babies were left out somewhere like the sewer or the town dump to die, unless someone came by to take them in and care for them. But it was those early Christians who jumped in to help. In fact, they quickly become known as those people who rescue the forgotten. Those Christian families also worked hard to plead that infanticide was wrong. But they didn’t just preach it, they acted on it, taking in these children to raise as their own. And in time, they were even successful at bringing the horrible practice to an end. Over 2000 years have passed since those days. Children are stilling crying in the darkness. But once again, Christians are responding. In fact, some even describe the present “Christian adoption movement” as a phenomenon. Churches are leading the charge and couples are responding by becoming foster parents, with the thought of possible adoption. Foster care families were once not illegible to adopt the children under their care. However Michael Nomura, General Counsel for Heritage Family Services says that this is not true any more. A very positive change within DHS is that where possible and appropriate, foster care families are considered first if the child becomes legally adoptable. These “bridge resource families” are becoming much more common. There are almost 7000 churches in Oklahoma. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if each church agreed to foster/adopt one child? The greatest gift for a youth who has lived in a state group shelter or home is to finally have a “forever family,” said John Venture. There are ministries and organizations emerging to help. They are setting up adoption ministries within the church and are recruiting foster care families. And those who can’t parent in this way are volunteering to help by supporting those who can.

Are you called to foster?

“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’” Matthew 25:40 ASB

Every day, there are children waiting for a place to call home and a family to support them.

Learn how you can make a difference for a child as a TFI foster parent.

www.tfifamilyconnections.org • 866-543-9810 NOV EMB ER 2013 Communitys p ir itmagaz ine.c om

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cover story The results are worth the investment. “When we see these kids placed into the right home that keep them safe and not judge them or their family, when the foster care family incorporates the child into their lives and provides a patient, loving environment, the kids thrive. Placed into a stable setting, they are able to be a kid again, growing, learning and doing well in school,” insisted Chris Gill of St. Francis Family Services. Other churches are setting up ministries to help with those kids aging out of foster care. Working through Life Launch, a division of Stand in the Gap, which organizes support groups, generally two or three people, usually from the same church to meet weekly or monthly with the youth. They provide emotional,

“The cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States has been estimated in excess of $124 Billion Dollars. Unfortunately, we have one of the worst records in the industrialized nations, having five youth die every day to abuse related death.” relational, mentoring and spiritual support while listening and loving on the youth, often eventually bring the youth to a relationship with Christ. Another effort to solve the problem is Project 111. Recruiting churches and their members, the group hopes to find the homes needed so badly.

Respected Organizations are here to Help Hearing the cries and seeing the overwhelming need, many organizations are rising to the challenge, recruiting foster care families, organizing people to support foster care families, and providing counseling and adoption services where appropriate. The list of these organizations is too long to adequately applaud. However, here is a beginning resource list of people who helped us with this story. TFI Family Services – www.tfifamilyservices.org Provides satellite/Family Resource Home, Emergency, Respite Care, Specialized Care, Treatment Care, Therapeutic/Intensive Treatment Care, and Supportive Family Living. Reintegration/Foster Care and Adoption Contract Services • Adoptions • Behavioral Health • Kinship Services • Case Management • Counseling, Support, and Education • Services for Substance Related Disorders • Visitation and Exchange Center • PS-MAPP Training • 24/7 Intake • Juvenile Justice Authority Provider • Family Base Services • Affiliate Services for Community Development Disability Organizations Life Launch, Standing in the Gap Ministries – www.sitgm.org Presently recruiting 100,000 spiritual families to come along side hurting people as a prayer-based, church-driven, small group movement, focused on helping a neighbor rise above overwhelming life challenges through a loving, spiritual family experience.

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Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Foster Care – www.lilyfield.org Providing loving, Christian families for infants and children through private adoption and a foster care program for children in state custody. And giving women in crisis pregnancies a place to turn to for guidance and adoption services. One Church, One Child of Oklahoma – www.onechurchonechildokla.org A nationally recognized special recruitment program working in conjunction with the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program, a signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation and the Oklahoma Department of Human Services to find adoptive/foster parents for children in the child welfare system. St. Francis Community Services – www.st-francis.org A faith-based, nonprofit organization committed to providing excellence in care through child and family-based services that include adoption, alcohol and drug counseling, assisted living, child welfare, community outreach services, connecting families, foster care, outpatient mental health services, psychiatric residential treatment and therapeutic foster care. The Bair Foundation – www.bair.org Provides foster care and therapeutic foster care with Christ-centered quality care and services dedicated to the treatment, restoration and empowerment of children, youth and families.

Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Foster Care Comes to Tulsa Community Spirit is pleased to welcome Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Foster Care to Tulsa. The highly-respected non-profit heard the cries for help and has opened a Tulsa office to assist in recruiting enough Christian families to solve our community’s critical need for additional foster care and adoptive parents. Lilyfield is well-equipped for this God-given task. Originally part of Colorado Christian Services, they became their own separate non-profit, serving families in and around Oklahoma City since 2000. Believing God has equipped them with both the skills and passion to bring families together, they provide adoption services to women in unplanned pregnancies and services to Christian couples

B e c o me a Fo s t er Parent! I Don’t Think I Am Foster Parent Material (from St. Francis Family Services website) Great foster parents come from people in all phases of life. You could be better foster parent material than you think! Foster care parents are often… • Active church members who feel a sense of mission in serving children • Community minded people who want to help kids stay in their own town or city • Adults, now empty-nesters, looking to have children in the home • People who will help a relative or provide brief respite care for other foster parents • People from all professions and stages of life, who share a common bond in helping children.

hoping to adopt. They also operate a foster care program, providing foster homes for children in the custody of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services. The mission of Lilyfield Christian Adoption and Foster Care is to provide stable, loving families for infants and young children through adoptive and foster care placements. They accomplish this by carefully screening and training potential parents and by preparing birth mothers through support and counseling. Please help us welcome this important new partner in the effort to secure a loving home for every child.

What Does It Take To Be A Foster Parent? Just be willing to open your heart and your home to help provide a sense of love and safety that will help kids get through the life experiences that brought them into foster care.

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cover story Heritage Family Services – www.adoptok.org Provides all phases of the adoption process. From the consultation and post placement, to social and medical histories, adoption counseling, help with open adoptions, home studies, interstate adoptions and international adoptions. Shadow Mountain Behavioral Health System - www. shadowmountainbhs.com. Provides Therapeutic Foster Care, combining specially trained families with therapists to create a non-institutional treatment for children who have been victims of neglect and abuse.

What WILL You Do to Help? If you are able, consider becoming a foster care family. The beginning DHS qualifications are spelled out in the highlighted box within this article. But even if you can’t foster care, you can still make a difference. 1. Pray for these struggling youth as well as for the foster care families and those working to support them. 2. Call one of the foster care agencies to see how you can volunteer to help. 3. Consider being a part of a small group support family. Contact Stand in the Gap for more information. 4. Become a special support for those who do adopt or foster care children. Give them a break with the baby sitting, take the kids fishing, and use the gifts God gave you to make a difference.

Qualifications and Requirements for Becoming a OKDHS Foster Parent 
All applicants must:
 • be at least 21 years of age and preferably no more than 55 years older than the child considered for placement; • have healthy relationships whether married, single separated or divorced; • have the ability to manage personal and household financial needs without relying on the foster care reimbursement; • fulfill the OKDHS policy on background investigations for all household members 13 years and older by completion of criminal history background checks; there must also be no history of alleged or confirmed child abuse, neglect or sexual abuse; • have a working vehicle; • provide appropriate sleeping arrangements for each child placed; • be in good physical and mental health; • provide references; • complete all required training in a timely manner; • not smoke in the home or automobile when the child is present; • comply with OKDHS rules on discipline; • be able to work as part of a team with social workers and biological parents.
 Complete details about foster parent qualifications and certification requirements are available in OKDHS policy.

What can bring hope to a child who’s been abandoned or abused? Who can bring stability and make a lasting difference in the life of a young boy or girl? The answer is a parent. Strong families make children’s lives better. Since 1945, Saint Francis has remained dedicated to that simple, singular idea. It is our honor to serve children, families and communities. Together, we can make a difference. Learn more about becoming a foster parent at fostercare-ok.org or call us toll-free at 877-263-1890.

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C o m m u n i t y Spi ri tma g a zi n e.com NOVE MBER 2013

hamlet

The Hamlet Holiday Breakfast Casserole

Ingredients: • 6 Slices of Bread, cubed • 2 Cups of Cheddar or Colby-Jack Cheese, shredded • 8 Eggs • 2 Cups Milk • 1 Tsp. Ground Mustard • ½ Tsp. Salt • ¼ Tsp. Pepper • 2 Cups Diced Hamlet Ham OPTIONAL Ingredients: • 1 small Pepper, diced, Red or Green • Small Can of Diced Green Chilies • Small Diced Onion, cook in 1 Tb. Butter until clear Instructions: 1. In a greased 11x7 baking dish, combine bread cubes and cheese. 2. Whisk the eggs, milk, mustard, salt and pepper together and pour over bread and cheese. (Add any optional ingredients to the egg mixture) 3. Sprinkle diced Ham evenly over top. 4. Cover and refrigerate overnight. 5. Remove from refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes, or until a knife come out clean. May sprinkle extra cheese over top. Serve with fresh fruit, biscuits, and extra slices of The Hamlet’s own spiral sliced Honey Kissed Ham!

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oklahoma weslyan

Abdu Murray, Muslim turned Christian Apologist to Speak at Conference

Josh McDowell Inaugural Conference on Christian Apologetics November 14-15 at Oklahoma Wesleyan University in Bartlesville Now, Abdu spends his days sharing Jesus with anyone who will listen. Abdu is a co-founder and the President of Embrace the Truth International, which is an apologetics-based ministry dedicated to offering the Truth of the Gospel to Muslims, Jews, cult members, and skeptics. A lawyer by training, he says that he simply asks questions, but in doing so, he gently guides people to consider the truth for the first time. Most he encounters have never given it much thought. Others have serious questions of their own or have been turned off by tactless Christians. Abdu helps them find an intellectual basis for the Gospel, to really consider the evidence. Abdu is only one of an incredible list of speakers who will speak at the upcoming Josh McDowell Conference on Christian Apologetics. Other speakers include Josh McDowell, Sean McDowell, Frank Turek and Alex Himaya. The conference will begin at the Oklahoma Wesleyan University campus in Bartlesville on Thursday with a special day of teaching for pastors and church leaders. Friday will also be in Bartlesville and will be open to the public. Then, to top things off, a special FREE session will be held on Saturday here in Tulsa at Asbury Methodist Church. The conference comes at a time of growing interest for the study of apologetics… “Knowing why you believe in what you believe in.” Many, especially males in their twenties and early thirties have begun to question their faith, demanding evidence. Josh McDowell and these other incredible speakers share that evidence, providing compelling reasons Christianity has stood the course of time.

What have YOU given up for the Truth? Abdu Murray was always known for being a very grateful and devoted Muslim. He was respected for his knowledge about Islam and had the respect of his Muslim community in Troy, Michigan. But after wrestling with Christ for nine years of intensive study, Abdu gave up his identity for the Truth. He had set out to challenge the Christian faith, to learn the Bible better than the Christians do so he could convert them to Islam. In the process, he found the astonishing truth that Jesus was real and that he could have a personal relationship with God. 12 

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The Josh McDowell Institute for Christian Apologetics is housed on the campus of Oklahoma Wesleyan University in Bartlesville. Learn more about the upcoming conference at jmiconference.okwu.edu.

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the highlands at owasso

What’s So Different about The Highlands at Owasso?

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here was a time when “nursing homes” all looked the same, long linoleum-tiled hallways leading to room after room of matching dreariness. Boy, have times ever changed! First of all, they don’t call them nursing homes any more, at least not this one. But second of all, this so far exceeding a “nursing home” that it is no wonder it is catching so much attention.

Drive up to Owasso’s brand new, absolutely impressive facility called The Highlands at Owasso and you will think you just arrived at a custom-built home. The building’s stone, English Tudor design and beautiful landscaping entrance open up into a 20-foot vaulted ceiling. Adjoining the massive entrance is a beautiful movie theatre where residents will enjoy classic films as well as live entertainment. On the other side of the room is a mini-market and gift shop full of everything from toiletries to candy bars and gift items. And just a few steps away, is a spa 14 

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and beauty salon. The stone hallways wrapped around two center courtyards give a homey feel to every wing and attractive entrances lead into private rooms equipped with full baths, carpeted bed areas and desk area wired for the latest technology. “We designed the facility to offer as much privacy as possible. When you are not feeling well and especially when you have just gotten out of the hospital, privacy and quiet is important to the healing process. And besides that, everyone needs their own space,” explained owner, Steve Cox. Just down the hall is the main dining room. Uniquely designed and decorated, the huge room has three separate “restaurant” themed areas… a Mexican Cantina, an Italian Restorantee and a Victorian Tea Room. Weather permitting, the residents and their families will also have the option of dining outside on a beautiful porch overlooking the lake. At the opposite end of the building, a separate Bistro is open all day, providing a great place to grab a quick burger, salad or pizza. Out the north side of the building is another wonderful patio, fully equipped with an outdoor kitchen and big screen televisions. The combination will make anyone, especially the guys, ready to move in just so they can enjoy watching the ballgames. From the plush carpet and beautiful light fixtures to the private rooms and exciting dining areas, The Highlands at Owasso is top-notch. It even has a state-of-the-art gym and a built-in tornado shelter large enough for every resident and all the staff members. Designed to keep its residents active, Highlands is proud to present wellness program that includes daily exercise and healthy

eating. Transportation to medical appointments will be provided and religious services will also be available. Sure, there are other “country-club-style senior living centers.” However, what makes this place so dramatically different is the fact that this facility accepts Medicaid, placing it within the financial grasp of almost anyone.

A Nursing Home Re-invented. The Highlands at Owasso is obviously loaded with extra amenities not typical in a facility of this kind. But for Steve Cox, the emotional compensation far outweighs the cost. It has been a dream of his ever since he was a teenager and first started delivering pharmaceuticals to the nursing homes surrounding his father’s drug store. He always longed to have a facility where people could truly enjoy the comforts of home yet have a nurse available 24 hours a day. “So, to me, you might say that The Highlands at Owasso is really a “nursing home re-invented. You see, we wanted to provide activities within our facility to do things they have always done…things like eat in a restaurant, get their hair done, shop and visit with friends, all under one roof.” As Steve walks the floors to visit and laugh with the residents, it is easy to see that they love him almost as much as he loves them back. “I think they appreciate being in a place where they personally know the owner, instead of some corporation from out of town. I visit them as often as possible and I try to be a good ambassador. In fact, I hope to someday have things running so smoothly that I could just do that all day,” Steve said with a smile. Drop in to visit The Highlands at Owasso and you will agree that this place is truly different. But it is more than just the fabulous design and the architecture. There is warmth here that can’t be bought. It is available to all, even to those who find themselves needing nursing care without a lot of money. The Highlands at Owasso is located in Owasso at 10098 N 123rd East Ave, right next door to the St. John Owasso Hospital. It is Medicare and Medicaid Certified. Stop in for a visit. It is one-of-a-kind. For more information, visit www.highlandsatowasso.com or call 918-928-4800. NOVEMB ER 2013 Communitys p ir itmagaz ine.com

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holiday party

Ready to Party? 10 Most Important Things to Consider when Throwing a Party one enjoys having to yell across the table to be heard. 7. Games? Know your guests and what they will enjoy. A surprise game of charades is a great way to ensure lots of “no’s” for your next party. But then again, maybe it is exactly what they love. Know them and plan your party accordingly.

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ith the time for holiday “soirees” just around the corner, we interviewed Brent Meyer, owner of Grand Selections to “bone up” on the 10 most important things to consider. The respected downtown restaurateur and caterer has been helping Tulsans plan “the perfect parties” since 1996. Listen carefully to his suggestions and the word will quickly get out that your parties are the first ones to RSVP with an absolute “Yes!” 1. Establish a Theme and Purpose. Almost every decision begins with the determining the theme and purpose. Decide what you want to accomplish and it will drive your choices for food, entertainment, room choice and everything else. 2. Send out Invitations Early. Give your guests plenty of time to respond and to get the party on their calendar. 3. Match your room to the number of guests. Having too little room or too much room can destroy the best parties. Trying to eat or visit with standing room only is not any fun, but neither is the feeling that no one showed up when there are only a few people in a massive room. 4. Fantastic Food and Drink are the keys to success. The success of your party hinges on the taste buds. Don’t “scrimp on the shrimp” and other food selections. Make sure you have ample food and a variety of choices. In today’s world, make sure you offer healthy alternatives and glutenfree options. Placing nicely-printed tags in front of the dishes showing ingredients is a thoughtful extra touch. 5. Meet your guest’s expectations. If your party starts around meal time, people expect to be fed. If it is only hors d’oeuvres, be sure to make it clear in the invitation exactly what will be served.

8. Alcohol? If you choose to serve alcohol, help to keep things under control by offering lots hors d’oeuvres choices. Guests take their cues from the host. If you stay under control, chances are, they will too. And of course ensure that no one drives home intoxicated. 9. Kids? If kids are included at your party, it is your responsibility to provide a play room or activity for them. It is also up to you to set the boundaries on where they go within the house. Consider hiring a baby sitter who can make the party as much fun for them as for their parents. Also consider offering kid-friendly food items. 10. Liabilities – Before your guests arrive, make sure things are safe. Ensure that there is adequate lighting inside and out and you have eliminated slip, trip and fall hazards. If you hire a caterer, call well in advance, sample their food, make sure they professionals (insurance?), get references and make sure they can be flexible to deliver exactly the right things to meet your expectations. Have a good time yourself! Prepare early, recruit or hire enough help to allow you to do what the best hosts and hostesses do… greet and entertain guests. A Note to Guests…Being invited to a party is an honor. RSVP early, arrive on time (not early or late) and consider bringing something special for your host or hostess. Being a great guest is a dying art. Want lots of invitations? Be a great guest. Brent Meyer is the owner of Grand Selections at 309 S. Main. Try their fabulous lunches Monday through Friday. And as for their catering… You can’t go wrong with their mouth-watering Barbecue Citrus Meatballs, their famous “Chokes and Cheese,” stuffed mushrooms or fantastic shrimp. Call Brent at (918) 5830510 to help with your next party. grandselectionstulsa.com.

6. Music is a great way to express your theme and add fun to your party. But be mindful of the volume if one of your goals is to get your guests to communicate. No NOVEMB ER 2013 Communitys p ir itmagaz ine.com

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cimarron meat

Because Cows Were Meant to Eat Grass… Cimarron Meat Market Provides Healthier Choices

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od designed cows to eat grass. He specially designed their mouths and their teeth to chew it, gave them a unique way to re-chew it (called chewing their cud) and He gave them a distinctively different and perfectly designed stomach to digest it. Any farm kid can tell you, cows are grass-eating machines. But man has invented “a better idea.” To produce more meat, on a faster schedule, and therefore make more money, ranchers typically send their herds to feed lots, where the cattle are crammed into tight quarters, force-fed on grain and given artificial hormones to fatten them up as quickly as possible. To protect the animals from disease, they are often given various drugs and antibiotics. The result is a faster way to fatten up beef and ultimately, a cheaper way to feed the masses, but at what cost? Many people believe that at least some of those hormones and drugs are ending up in our bodies and the bodies of our children. Some even point to this as a potential cause for today’s high cancer rate and the fact that our children are coming into puberty at younger and younger ages. Educated consumers are demanding changes. In August of 2012 along with two other couples, Jeff and Kimberly Workman 18 

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opened an old-fashion meat market specializing in grass fed gras finished beef, as well as free range chicken, lamb and pork. Now, many health-conscious Tulsans are streaming in to buy all their

meat at the Cimarron Meat Company. It is a trend that is spreading across the country. Afraid of the potential risks of added synthetic hormones, antibiotics and the use of artificial fertilizers, pesticides, and hervicides, more and more consumers are insisting on meat raised on specialized organic or all natural farms. They are willing to pay more to ensure they get a healthier cut of meat and they insist that it is worth the investment. Quoting study after study, they argue that grass fed grass finished beef is lower in omega-6 fatty acids, and has a more balanced ratio of omega-3 fatty acids to omega-6 fatty acids, and is lower in fat. “And besides all of that,” they say with confidence, “it simply tastes better.”

An Old-Fashioned Butcher Shop – God’s Direction When a friend mentioned he had interest in opening an organic meat market, Jeff immediately wanted to be involved. After a 28 year career in the irrigation business, Jeff longed for a change and the Cimarron Meat Market was the perfect opportunity. He and Kimberly had already been researching the organic and all natural meat industry. Growing up on a farm in Nebraska and being an avid deer hunter, Jeff had experience cutting his own meat. Matched with Kimberly’s passion for working with people and providing great customer service, they had already decided this would be a perfect way for them to work together. So, when their friends expressed interest, it seemed to be just too coincidental for it to be anything but a God-inspired idea. Customers have since fallen in love with Jeff and Kimberly and they, in turn, have fallen in love with their customers. In fact working together, they are able to provide a level of service unexpected in today’s world of bar scans and checkout lines. It is a place where customers are called by name and their requests are remembered from one visit to the other. Want a unique cut of meat or a special packaging request? Don’t be surprised if they have it ready for your next visit. “We have a strong conviction that our customers should be able to buy wholesome, natural foods in a friendly atmosphere. Our desire is to allow them to step back into the old time butcher shop, where the food was fresh, the service was personal, and the prices were fair. In short, we offer our customers the kind of shopping experience that we want for ourselves,” Kimberly explained.

northeast Oklahoma area so that the money spent in our store stays here to help our local economy. Our farmers and ranchers consistently provide the highest quality products available anywhere, so why would anyone need to go elsewhere? We believe that neighbors helping neighbors is the best way to operate, and we are committed to that,” Jeff said. Their customers come in especially to enjoy delicious sandwiches. In fact, Cimarron is rumored to have the absolute best Reuben around. And just one taste of the free-range turkey will guarantee that you will want to take some home. Customers sit around and chat like family in the cozy dining area and somehow, it makes you feel like you have just pulled up a chair at the Workman’s kitchen table. It is an experience as uniquely delicious as the products they sell.

Benefits of Grass Fed Beef – Mayo Clinic, Cardiologist, Dr. Martha Grogan, MD • Less Total Fat • More heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids • More conjugated linoleic acid, a type of fat thought to reduce heart disease and cancer risks • More antioxidant vitamins such as vitamin E

Going the Extra Mile Knowing their customer’s desires for products they can trust, Kimberly and Jeff work with several local natural farms to ensure freshness and quality. Customers love their wide choice of handmade deli meats as well as the artisan cheeses. They also love the farm fresh dairy items and of course the marvelous eggs from free-range chickens. “We have partnered with small farmers and ranchers in

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catherine zoller

From Rebel to

Writer

A Story of the Redemptive Power of God BY KAREN HARDIN

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atherine was every parent’s nightmare. She had always been a difficult child, but her teenage antics with drugs and the police escalated to the point that her parents severed their parental rights and made her a ward of the state. So how did she turn from this rebellious juvenile delinquent to become the writer of the Focus on the Family endorsed Rhyme and Reason children’s book series? Or more recently, the writer of a children’s devotional available through the nationally acclaimed YouVersion Bible app? Her only explanation is: “When God said He takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, He wasn’t kidding! “I remember very clearly the first time I realized I wasn’t like my brothers or my classmates,” Catherine recalls. “I was nine years old and had just left a psychiatrist’s office. I was always in trouble at home and at school, but being seen by a psychiatrist was devastating to me. On the way home, sitting in the backseat of my parents’ car, the only conclusion I could come to was what I’d believed all along: there must be something wrong with me. I know now that my parents were trying to help me in the only way they knew how. Unfortunately, they didn’t know there were other tools available—like prayer, faith, and godly counseling.” 20 

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Today, Catherine would have been diagnosed with ADHD. But thirty years ago she was simply labeled “bad” and “difficult,” and she certainly lived up to the designations. Her parents were desperate to find someone, anyone, who might have a clue as to how to help their daughter be “normal.” “I was always hyperactive,” Catherine remembers with a laugh. “I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t focus, and found it all but impossible to concentrate or complete even the simplest assignments. I was a mess! “My dad was a dentist, so sugar was considered contraband in our house. However, I used to sneak in from the playground during recess and steal the dessert out of my classmates’ lunch boxes. Cherry Hostess fruit pies were my favorite! I’d grab one out of a lunchbox, stick it under my shirt, go to the restroom, lock myself in a stall, then rip the package open, and shove the sweet delicacy into my mouth. Then I’d sneak back onto the playground, hoping I hadn’t been missed.” Fruit pies may seem rather benign, but sugar theft eventually escalated to drugs, chronic truancy, running away, and auto theft. The breaking point came after she and three friends decided to “borrow” a car for a joy ride. Much to their surprise, the teens failed to notice the car had a government license tag. They were arrested the next day and booked into jail.

At her court hearing, the judge looked down on the fifteen year old as she awaited her fate. Shaking his head, he read through the list of criminal charges. It never ceased to amaze him how some young people could rack up a long rap sheet at such a young age. Catherine was no exception: truancy, drug possession, arson, and six counts of grand theft auto. With a bang of the gavel, he announced her sentence: eight years in prison, pending six months’ probation. He made it quite clear that with a single violation of the terms of probation, she would be sent to a girl’s reformatory until she turned eighteen and would then be transferred to the Women’s Penitentiary in McAlester, Oklahoma, to serve the remainder of her sentence. “If you cut one class, get high one time, or so much as backtalk the staff at the Sunbeam Home (a home for juvenile delinquents), I will have no choice but to impose the sentence. If you keep your nose clean for the next six months, the charges against you will be dropped.” As Catherine left the courtroom, she felt hopeless. She couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble for six days or six hours, much less six months. Certain that prison was in her future, she chose to do what she did best—run away. Hitchhiking toward Florida, she was picked up by a preacher who bought her a Dairy Queen hamburger, opened his Bible,

and shared the Gospel. The unusual prayer she prayed following that divine encounter was the beginning of her life-changing turnaround. For any parent out there who thinks his or her child is too far gone, Catherine’s story is proof that no child is ever without hope. No one is beyond help. Her core message is that God redeems everything! Today Catherine is a national speaker and shares her incredible inspirational story, From Rebel to Writer, in schools, women’s groups, and churches. Her Rhyme and Reason books series, where “Dr. Seuss meets the Bible, so to speak” is a fun read for parents and kids alike (ages 5-12). Each book provides a comprehensive overview of a book of the Bible told in amusing rhyme with humorous, colorful illustrations by Broken Arrow artist, David Wilson. The first four books in the series—Genesis, Matthew, Exodus, and Acts—are currently available via her Web site and in Lifeway Bookstores for $19.99 each. (Order in November for special holiday pricing.) For additional information on Catherine’s books, to download free coloring pages, or to read the free YouVersion children’s devotional, go to www.catherinezoller.com. To book her to speak to your group or at your event, you may contact her via the Web site or call 918.928.2608.

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celebrate recovery

Gratitude – a Mighty Antidote

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ratitude is a mighty powerful antidote for a multitude of feelings, emotions and conditions. The blues, anger, fear, confusion, and loneliness are some which receive positive affect from simple expressions of gratitude. Feelings of appreciation or thankfulness define gratitude and stand as strong deterrents to negative thoughts that threaten to overtake our minds, moods and actions. Principle 7 of Celebrate Recovery (CR) states: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. So what is the connection between gratitude and Principle 7? If you’ve been following CR’s map of biblical principles and traveling the road to recovery from hurts, hang-ups and habits, you’ve been changed by passing through valleys and over mountains; your arrival at Principle 7 signals a crossroads in your recovery. Standing at the crossroads and looking back on traveled ground, you can see what lies behind and recognize familiar debris strewn about. You can also look forward to uncharted territory which may spark fear because it’s unknown. This crossroads is a crucial juncture in recovery and the Apostle Paul presents a clear warning about it in 1 Corinthians 10:12, ‘So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.’ In other words, don’t become overconfident about the ground you’ve gained and neglect vigilance over temptations that will lead to backsliding or a return to where you once were. At this point on the road to recovery, travelers know well their vulnerable spots and spending time under God’s light in self-examination crystallizes the reality of imperfect cores with weak, ugly interiors. Experienced travelers accept 22 

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the undeniable truth of powerlessness over imperfection and dependence upon a power greater than self to overcome their limitations. Dependence reminds us of what we are not; there is nothing like thankfulness to stir up one’s heart and mind with awareness of what we have or have not… those things that complete us, things we could not or would not do for ourselves, things that are provided by another outside ourselves. Being thankful or grateful brings our focus outside of self and moves our ‘stuff’ further from view.

Look Longer & It Gets Stronger What we look at the longest becomes the strongest. Knowing this, it seems obvious that counting blessings, being grateful and giving thanks should be an integral part of our lives. ‘Should’ may sound as though it’s a moral thing to do – but that’s not even close. In reality, gratitude is a need to be fulfilled for wholeness; we need to acknowledge the good things that come to us and from whom. Gratitude is also a want; who doesn’t want to share their abundance with those they love? Positive, happy feelings are wonderful gifts to give. Wanting to give thanks is what tips the cup of abundance - good things then pour out and space opens for more blessings to come in.

Count Your Blessings Spending time getting to know God through the Bible and prayer returns immeasurable results. First is awareness that becomes knowledge of the greatness of His love: the unfailing, forever love. Believers have the amazing privilege of praying to their Heavenly Father, and bringing requests to God is just one aspect of our communication with Him. Another important part is thanksgiving. Philippians

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4:6, ‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.’ Thanking God – keeps us aware of His presence. It focuses our attention on Jesus Christ and pride diminishes when we remember life is about Him. Thanking God drives us to look for His purpose in the midst of our challenging situations. It reminds us of His goodness, which leads to hope and submission to His will, even when we don’t understand the trials we face. Being grateful to God encourages continued dependence on Him and replaces anxiety with joy and peace. God wants His children’s lives to be characterized by gratefulness. His Word tells us that an appreciative attitude is to be evident in our worship (Ps. 95:2-7, Col. 3:16), giving (2 Cor. 9: 12), relationships (Phil. 1:1-3), and even in the way we approach spiritual battles (1 Cor. 15:5557). In short, thankfulness to God should permeate everything we do (Rom. 14:6). When we maintain an attitude of gratitude in both happy and difficult times, our lives will feel more purposeful and fulfilling, and God will be glorified. That’s why gratitude is a powerful antidote – it diminishes everything that is not of Him. CR’s Principle 7 is not new revelation; it’s the perfect formula for standing against anything that could steal our joy and peace or knock us off of the road to recovery. Right now, ask God to bring blessings to your mind so you can be thankful and full of His love. With over 32 CR ministries in northeastern Oklahoma, you can find one today. Visit http:// www.celebraterecovery.com/cr-groups/grouplocator

randy cowell | AC T Fin an ci al

Social Security-Facts and Figures

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his is the third in a series of article on Social Security and retirement planning. The purpose of this article is to give the reader a base of knowledge to build upon. With 10,000 baby boomers turning 65 EVERY day, the importance of understanding all of your options is vital. It can potentially be the difference of thousands of dollars in lost or gained retirement income. The good news is you get to choose. So you’ve made up your mind to file for Social Security retirement benefits. When can you file? The answer is surprisingly simple. No more than three months prior to when you want your benefits to begin. (No sooner than your 62nd birthday.) How do I file? There are three methods of filing for Social Security Benefits. You can file in person, by phone, or online. Whichever method you choose, remember, you have to provide documentation proving your age. These would include all or some of the following: your Social Security number and card, your birth certificate, proof of earnings from the prior year, and your military discharge papers. Remember I did say some. You may not have all of them so don’t let that slow you down. Take what you have.

Understanding the Basics There are several dates and key numbers you should to be aware of if you wish to maximize your Social Security retirement benefit. The first is the date in which you can retire with full benefits. This is your full retirement age or FRA. For those born between 1943 and 1954 the FRA is 66 years of age and it graduates two months per year of age until the year 1960. Those born in 1960 and after have an FRA of 67 years of age. Does that mean you have to wait until your FRA? NO! You have the option of taking an early retirement benefit at the ripe old age of 62 or any age thereafter. But wait a minute! That decision comes with a cost. The cost comes in the form of a 25% reduction in monthly payments. To get started with your retirement planning you will need to go online and request an estimate of benefits. This is easily done by logging into the Social Security Quick Calculator www.ssa. gov/oact/quickcalc. It is important to check the earnings records periodically for accounting errors. It is important because it is the basis for your retirement benefits.

To work or not work Today, many Americans are choosing to work well into their retirement years. Unfortunately, this is problematic if you have chosen to take early retirement. Anyone taking retirement benefits prior to their FRA potentially subjects their Social 24 24   | |

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Security payments to be withheld. Here is an easy way to determine if you SS payments will be withheld. The first step is to determine your provisional income. This is a sum of all your income, taxable as well as non-taxable, and 50% of your Social Security payments less the deductions used to determine your Adjusted Gross Income or AGI. Once you have determined your provisional income, (PI) there is just one more step. In 2013 if you are married filing jointly and your PI exceeds $34,000, or $25,000 if you are single, up to 50% of your benefits will be taxed. If your combined married income exceeds $44,000, or $34,000 if you are single, up to 85% of your benefits are taxable. Obviously, it goes without saying that a through analysis of your investment, and savings is crucial if you are interested in lowering the amount of taxes you pay on your SS earnings. As you can see, dealing with Social Security can be downright complicated. My suggestion to anyone approaching retirement is to seek wise counsel. The scriptures are as clear, especially when they strongly suggest we seek wise counsel in all of our decisions. Selecting a strategy that will affect you and your family in such a significant way. Proverbs 19:27 states it this way, Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Next month we will finish our series on Social Security retirement by discussing strategies that can literally add thousands of dollars to your retirement income. In the meantime, if you have any questions regarding issues surrounding Social Security please give us a call. We would love to help!

RANDY C. COWELL ACT FINANCIAL Randy C. Cowell is a columnist and President of ACT Financial Services, Inc. in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is the author of “God Good-Debt Bad”. Randy welcomes your thoughts and prayers. He can be reached at 918-664-0081 or by e-mail at rcowell@htk.com.

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ok health department

Tulsa Smokers Who Quit For One Day Can Quit For Life Free Coaching by Phone and Free Patches, Lozenges or Gum Help Oklahomans Quit for Good

Fa c t s t o K n o w

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hink you can’t quit? You can and The Tobacco Free coalition will be there to help you! You are not in this alone. In fact, thousands of Oklahoma tobacco users just like you are resolving to quit smoking and dipping for the entire day on November 21st for the 38th annual “Great American Smokeout.” The Tobacco Free coalition is encouraging all tobacco users in Tulsa to make an attempt to quit smoking this year, even if it’s only for one day. “The decision to quit smoking can be one of the most important choices you will ever make,” said Paula Warlick

“Quitting smoking is the single most important step a smoker can take to live a longer, healthier life,” -Tracey Strader, TSET executive director “Make a plan, organize your support and go for it. Over the next day, month and year, you’ll feel better and you’ll have more money to spend on other things that are important to you.” Support can come from a spouse, friends, your doctor, or professional quit coaches from the Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline at 1-800-QUIT-NOW (1-800-784-8669) or online at www. OKhelpline.com. Free quit coaching, and free patches, gum or lozenges are available for all callers who qualify. The Helpline is funded by TSET (Oklahoma Tobacco 26 

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Settlement Endowment Trust), the Oklahoma State Department of Health and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More than 200,000 Oklahomans have called the Helpline to receive free support. “Quitting smoking is the single most important step a smoker can take to live a longer, healthier life,” said Tracey Strader, TSET executive director. “The Great American Smokeout is a perfect day to join with others in Oklahoma and across the nation to become a non-smoker.” The Oklahoma Tobacco Helpline operates seven days a week. Services are available to smokers and users of other tobacco products. Services are also available in Spanish at 1-855-3353569 or for the Deaf and Hard of Hear through video relay at 1-866-748-2436. For more information about the Helpline, visit www. OKhelpline.com. Other free quitting resources about quitting tobacco include: www.smokefree.gov. To learn more about local tobacco control efforts, contact Vanessa Hall-Harper of the Tobacco Free Coalition by calling 918-595-42626 or via email at vhharper@tulsa-health.org Thursday, November 21st may be the day you put away tobacco forever. Join the Great American Smokeout and give it your best shot!

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• Health benefits start almost immediately when one quits smoking, according to the American Cancer Society: • Within 20 minutes of quitting, blood pressure decreases and pulse rate drops • Within eight hours of quitting, oxygen level in blood returns to normal. • Within 24 hours of quitting, chance of a heart attack decreases. • Within 48 hours of quitting, ability to smell and taste is enhanced. • Within three months of quitting, circulation and lung function improve. • Within nine months of quitting, coughing, sinus congestion, wheezing, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease. • Within one year of quitting, risk of coronary heart disease is lowered to half of that of a smoker.

ABOUT TSET The Oklahoma Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust (TSET) serves as a partner and bridge builder for organizations working toward shaping a healthier future for all Oklahomans. TSET provides leadership at the intersections of health by working with local coalitions and initiatives across the state, by cultivating innovative and life-changing researcher, and by working across public and private sectors to develop, support, implement and evaluate creative strategies to take advantage of emerging opportunities to improve the public’s health. TSET –Better Lives Through Better Health. For more information visit www.tset.ok.gov.

ORU Forms Global Partnership with Asia Life University

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ral Roberts University has formed an academic partnership with Asia Life University (ALU). The two academic institutions have come together to form a 1-plus-3 program for high school students throughout Asia to obtain an ORU education. An official agreement was signed this week in Daejeon, South Korea. “ORU is excited to partner with Asia Life University and expand our efforts to recruit Korean students,” said ORU President William M. Wilson. “This academic partnership is the first major effort in the globalization of ORU and our desire is to help raise up the next generation of Christian leaders to impact Korea, Asia and beyond for Jesus Christ.” Students enrolled in the program will study at ALU in Daejeon, South Korea for one year. After completing up to 30 hours of undergraduate courses at the South Korean campus, students with adequate TOEFL scores will have the opportunity to study at ORU in Tulsa, Okla. for the remaining three years. Students may choose from more than 50 undergraduate majors including: accounting, biblical literature, biology, communications, computer information technology, elementary education, engineering, French, graphic design, international business, international community development, management,

ministry and leadership, psychology, Spanish, worship arts and many more. Upon the completion of the program, students will receive a bachelor’s degree from ORU. International students enrolled in the 1-plus-3 program may apply for Quest Whole Person Scholarships, premier merit scholarships and merit awards. In addition to these scholarship opportunities, students will also receive grant money based on the total number of student enrolled in the academic partnership program. The academic partnership between ORU and ALU is the first major global outreach program to be established under the tenure of President Wilson. Globalization efforts began in June as a task force began to examine ways to fulfill the global mandate of the university by expanding access to ORU’s whole person education for students worldwide. For more information about ORU, visit www.oru.edu. For more information on ALU, visit alu.ac.kr/english/.

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ORU Professor Releases “The Myths of Creativity”

DAVID BURKUS

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ral Roberts University Assistant Professor of Management David Burkus released his first book titled, “The Myths of Creativity.” The book highlights the processes that drive innovation and ways to overcome obstacles for finding new ideas. “People tend to have a skewed view of creativity that emphasizes unpredictability and scarcity,” said Burkus. “Research shows that everyone is capable of developing innovative ideas. As professionals, it is our job to develop superior creative abilities to ensure our organizations remain competitive.” “The Myths of Creativity” is based on the latest research into how creative individuals and firms succeed. Burkus demystifies ten myths about creativity including the eureka myth, the breed myth, the originality myth, the expert myth, the incentive myth, the lone creator myth, the brainstorming myth, the cohesive myth, the constraints myth and the mousetrap myth. The result is a practical approach, grounded in reality, to finding the best new ideas, projects, processes, and programs. Burkus is an assistant professor of management in the College of Business at ORU, where he teaches courses on creativity, innovation, entrepreneurship, and organizational behavior. He is a graduate of ORU and holds a master of arts 30 

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in organizational dynamics from the University of Oklahoma. He also holds a doctorate of strategic leadership from Regent University. Burkus is the founder and editor of LDRLB, an online publication that shares insights from research on leadership, innovation, and strategy. Burkus is a fellow of the Royal Society for the Arts and was named an “Expert-in-Residence” by Creative Oklahoma. He is an advisor to several start-ups, and serves as chief strategy officer of Vast Learning Systems, a web-based creativity learning and assessment company. Burkus’ work on leadership, creativity, and innovation has been published in numerous scholarly journals and practitioner publications. He is also a contributing writer for “99U” “Forbes”, “Psychology Today”, “Harvard Business Review,” “SmartBlog on Leadership” and the “Creativity Post”. As a presenter, he has spoken on leadership and innovation to a diverse set of audiences, from entrepreneurs to Fortune 500 companies to the United States Naval Academy and Naval Postgraduate School. For more information on the ORU College of Business, visit www.oru. edu/academics/college_of_business/. For more information about David Burkus, visit http://davidburkus.com.

ORU Reports Enrollment Growth for Fifth Straight Year

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ral Roberts University announced enrollment growth for the fifth straight year. The university reported 3,403 students, an increase of 68 over 2012. Retention of freshmen is more than 80 percent for the fourth consecutive year. “In the current economic climate, reporting enrollment growth of any kind is a testament to the excellent whole person education provided by ORU,” said ORU President Dr. William M. Wilson. “We look forward to continued growth in any sector as ORU expands educational opportunities on a global scale.” The reported enrollment numbers were announced days after the inauguration of the university’s fourth president, Dr. Wilson. The increase is attributed to numerous factors including the Whole Person Scholarship Program and the new Armand Hammer Alumni-Student Center. The Whole Person Scholarship Program is designed to aid well-rounded students who dream of furthering their education. These students are on a quest for wholeness and demonstrate the following: Christian worldview, lifestyle of service, academic achievement, leadership ability, vision to make a life-changing impact on others, and a healthy lifestyle. To nominate a student

for a Whole Person Scholarship, visit www. wholeperson.oru. edu Wilson also announced the formation of a Presidential Task Force on the Globalization of ORU. The task force includes influential leaders from within the ORU community and individuals with unique perspectives from outside the campus. The task force is working as an exploratory think tank for examining ways to fulfill the global mandate of the university by expanding access to ORU’s whole person education for students worldwide. Initial plans have been developed including increased recruitment from abroad, accelerated expansion of distance learning, partnerships with others in a process that will be termed Collaborative Access Education, increased learning opportunities for ORU’s present student body and ultimately the planting of ORU on every inhabited continent by 2025.

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Cornerstone Community Church sand springs, ok

Eastland Baptist Church tulsa, ok

Owasso First Assembly of God Church owasso, ok

rhema bible church broken arrow, ok

Carbondale Assembly of God tulsa, ok

BELIEVERS Church tulsa, ok

VICTORY CHRISTIAN CENTER tulsa, ok

WORLD OUTREACH CHURCH tulsa, ok

CHURCHES BY DANIELS 918.872.6006 Broken Arrow, Oklahoma

churchesbydaniels.com

AVA HANCOCK GRACE HOSPICE

Question: We lost my mom over the summer and I am dreading the holidays this year. She was the center of many of our family celebrations and I am not sure how to get through this year without her. Any advice on what to say to my family and how to find some type of joy? The first year after you lose a loved one, is always difficult as you are facing a year of “firsts” without that person, the biggest one being the first holiday season. Because Thanksgiving and Christmas are focused on family, the feelings of loss and grief can be magnified. I recommend that you make sure to express those feelings to your loved ones. Secondly, don’t be afraid to reach out to others who can truly empathize. Here are some tips to help you when you are grieving during the holidays. 1. Accept feelings of grief and ask for help. 2. Discuss how to handle family traditions and consider starting a new tradition to honor loved ones who have died. 3. Don’t try to do everything the “same old way.” It isn’t necessary to do all the decorating and cooking this year. 4. It is fine to say no to invitations, but isolation is a negative situation. Consider continuing a tradition in memory of the loved one. At Grace Hospice, we offer ongoing support groups twice a week all year long. During the holiday season we have a specialized group that focuses on, “Coping with Grief during the Holidays”. It meets for three consecutive Mondays during the lunch hour.

• Discussing past holiday traditions and stories For more information about the “Coping with Grief during the Holidays” support group, call Grace Hospice at (918) 744-7223 or visit www.gracehospice.com

AVA HANCOCK, , MS, LCSW

Executive Director, Grace Hospice Ava is Executive Director of Grace Hospice of Oklahoma. Grace Hospice is the largest independent hospice in Northeastern Oklahoma. Ava has been with Grace Hospice for more than 10 years and was named Executive Director in 2010 where she leads a staff of more than 80 employees. Ava received a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work and Health Care from the University of Houston. She’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a trained Executive Leader for hospice through the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO). She is also a volunteer and board member of the Case Management Society of America. Ava also volunteers with the P.E.O. Sisterhood as the State Educational Loan Fund Chairman for Oklahoma, assisting women in furthering their educational goals. Ava’s an avid supporter of animal rescue and is the Foster Coordinator and a board member of Great Plains Mastiff Rescue.

Time: 12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m. Mondays November 18, November 25, December 2 Place: Grace Hospice 6400 S. Lewis 918-744-7223 This support group is led by trained professionals, and the sessions will cover the following topics. This year’s sessions will cover the following topics • How the holiday season affects the grieving process • Creating a plan for coping with grief • Reviewing plans for the holidays • Finding the healing power that the holiday season can bring

Because every moment counts...

Grace Hospice helps you embrace every moment. We provide expert medical care and counseling services to our patients including: � Nursing services 24 hours/7 days a week � Medications related to the terminal illness � Pain and symptom management � Emotional, spiritual and bereavement counseling � Family support services for friends and family Grace Hospice serves all of Northeastern Oklahoma. Please call 918-744-7223 to learn how we can help you and your family.

Phone (918) 744-7223 • Toll Free (800) 659-0307 www.gracehospice.com Not affiliated with Grace Living Centers.

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celebrity attractions

12-17 at the Tulsa Tulsa to have a White Christmas this Year! November Performing Arts Center

PHOT O C O U RTE S Y O F I B W C Co m panY, Sharon Sipp le

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RVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS, the stage adaptation of the beloved classic film is coming to Tulsa Performing Arts Center this holiday season. Bring your loved ones for a heart-warming celebration of Americana now for eight performances only from November 12 through 17. Tickets go on sale Monday, October 14. IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS tells the story of two showbiz buddies putting on a show in a picturesque Vermont inn, and finding their perfect mates in the bargain. Full of dancing, romance, laughter and some of the greatest songs ever written, including “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep,” “Happy Holiday,” “Sisters,” “Blue Skies,” and the unforgettable title song, IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS promises to be a merry and bright experience for the entire family! The New York Times claims “this cozy trip down memory lane should be put on your wish list.” And, the New York Daily News hailed IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS as “a holiday card come to life.” IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS features music and lyrics by Irving Berlin with book by David Ives and Paul Blake and is based upon the Paramount Pictures film written for the screen by Norman Krasna, Norman Panama and Melvin Frank. This production of IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS is produced by Atlanta’s Theater of the Stars. The creative team includes direction by Norb Joerder, choreography by Randy Skinner, scenic design by Anna Louizos, scenic supervision and adaptation by Kenneth Foy, lighting design by Ken Billington, and sound design by Peter Fitzgerald and Erich Bechtel. The tour is produced by agreement with R&H Theatricals, an Imagem Company. Welcomed by Bank of Oklahoma, IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHIRSTMAS comes to the Tulsa Performing Arts Center for eight performances only, November 12 through 17. Tuesday through Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday evenings at 8 p.m., Sunday evening at 7 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday Matinees at 2 p.m. Tickets go on sale 34 

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Monday, October 14th at 10 a.m. and may be purchased online at www.MyTicketOffice.com, in person at the Tulsa PAC Box Office, or by calling 918.596.7111 or 800.364.7111. Discounts are available for groups of 10 or more by calling 918.796.0220. Get social with Celebrity Attractions by becoming a fan on Facebook.com/BwayTulsa. Follow the Tulsa engagement of IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS on Twitter.com/BwayTulsa or join the conversation using hashtag #WhiteChristmasTulsa. IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS is part of the Celebrity Attractions’ 2013-2014 Broadway Season which also includes CHICAGO Starring John O’Hurley, JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR® DREAMCOAT, SISTER ACT, WICKED and the add-on production of Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Celebrity Attractions is proud to have KOTVNewsOn6, American Airlines and Tulsa World as sponsors for this spectacular season. For Celebrity Attractions’ 2013-2014 Broadway Season ticket information, call 918.596.7109 or visit CelebrityAttractions.com. Season tickets are still available for a limited time only. For more information on IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS, visit whitechristmathemusical.com.

Welcomed by

A NEW HOLIDAY MUSICAL!

November 12-17 • Tulsa PAC

918.596.7111 • myTicketoffice.com

outside Tulsa 800.364.7111 • Groups of 10+ SAve!!! Call 918.796.0220

celebrity attractions

Jim Brickman Brings The Magic Of Christmas To Tulsa! November 23 at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center

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im Brickman brings the spirit of the season to life once again with The Magic of Christmas. A beloved tradition for 17 years, Brickman, along with special guests Anne Cochran, Tracy Silverman and Luke McMaster, delivers the perfect blend of music and entertainment, making lasting memories for the whole family. Emotion, intimacy, warmth, and humor come together for the ideal winter’s night celebration, featuring holiday favorites and songs from his latest CD, The Magic of Christmas, along with the hits that made Jim the bestselling pianist of our time. Performing live in one spectacular concert, Jim Brickman The Magic of Christmas arrives in Tulsa at the Performing Arts Center on November 23, 2013 at 8:00 pm. Ticket prices are $65 or $50. Applicable fees may apply. Tickets are on sale now and may be purchased by phone 918.596.7111, 800.364.7111, in person at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center Ticket Office (located at 101 East 3rd Street), or order online at www.MyTicketOffice.com. Groups of 10 or more may call 918.796.0220 for a discount. For more information, visit the Celebrity Attractions’ website at www.CelebrityAttractions.com. Showcasing brand-new music, mixed seamlessly with classic and contemporary holiday songs, audience members return year after year to experience the spirit of the season in an unforgettable evening of laughter and memories. “This truly is the most wonderful time of the year,” Brickman says. “Every night, it’s a different audience in a different city, but it’s the same heart-warming expression of joy and hope on each face during the season!”

About Jim Brickman Jim Brickman amassed 27 Top 40 singles on the adult contemporary charts, including 14 Top 10 smashes. His collaboration with country songstress Martina McBride,

“Valentine,” scored a number 1 hit on Billboard’s Adult Contemporary Chart and a top 10 country hit in 1998. Other Brickman staples include “Peace” and “The Gift,” both with Collin Raye, “Simple Things” with Rebecca Lynn Howard, “Never Alone” with Lady Antebellum, and “Love of My Life” with Michael W. Smith. Throughout his long career, Brickman has also shared his artistry with luminaries such as Kenny Loggins, Carly Simon, Herb Alpert, Michael Bolton, Donny Osmond, Richie McDonald (country’s Lonestar), smooth jazz sax star Dave Koz, Olivia Newton-John, Wayne Brady, Blind Boys of Alabama, Broadway’s Jane Krakowski and more. Along the way he’s been rewarded for his melodically sublime style with two Grammy Award nominations, a couple of SESAC “Songwriter of the Year” Awards, a Canadian Country Music Award and a Dove Award presented by the Gospel Music Association. He’s also the author of two best-selling books, 2001’s Simple Things and 2005’s Love Notes, co-written with Cindy Pearlman. For more information about Jim Brickman and The Magic of Christmas visit www.JimBrickman.com.

ONE SHOW ONLY! SATURDAY 918.596.7111 Outside Tulsa 800.364.7111 NOVEMBER 23, 8:00pm TULSA PAC MyTicketOffice.com /JimBrickman

#JimBrickman

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B Y D en i ece ads i t

About Deniece Deniece has a passion to minister to women. You are going to grow to love her and the way she tells stories, always getting to the real heart of the matter.

Make the Table Round

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hey sat next to each other on the same side of the table, with their bodies leaning as far away from the other as the small space allowed. It was obvious from their demeanor each felt the other had not earned the right to be at the table. Oh, they could have sat on opposite sides, but then they would have had to actually look at each other, and the open disapproval would show. Sitting this way, they could essentially ignore the other person. As pointed as this scene is, all too frequently we do the same thing about access to Christ. He came and He died for us all, yet sometimes we like to pretend we have earned the right to be at the table, and others have not. We may not make it look as obvious as this, but I suspect it exists more than we care to admit. At times I have felt as if others would prefer I not be there, and in a moment of complete honesty, I am certain I have felt that way about others. Which makes me wonder…what gives me the right to behave in this way? How can we change the dynamic of interaction between people who come to the table looking differently than we do? And how much more influence would we have with those around us if we could find a way to make the table round? It would be considerably more difficult to act as if others shouldn’t be there. Everyone would be in clear view of everyone else, and all would be equal. Wouldn’t that be more inviting?

For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? (1 Corinthians 4:7 NIV) 36 

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He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. (Ephesians 2:17-18 NIV)

A part of me really wants to believe that I deserve to be considered a child of God. I have so much to offer, He must be extremely pleased with me and with what I bring to the table. The reality is the exact opposite. Without His help, I have nothing to bring. He is pleased that I am here, but the reason has everything to do with His gift to me, and nothing to do with any value I would have without Him. Christ alone has redeemed my spirit to make me part of His family.

Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. (Hebrews 2:11 NIV)

As we approach the Thanksgiving season this year, many of us will be sitting down at a table with people we see less frequently. There may be many gatherings comprised of groups that are quite different than our normal circle of friends and family. Each of these meetings will provide us with an opportunity to welcome others to the table that ultimately means the most. And one way we can do that is to try to make everyone feel welcome at the table… We can do our best to make the table round.

marriages that last

Get Into The Game

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his past Friday night my wife and I took our two small boys to a local High School football game. My boys were excited beyond belief. This was only their second game to attend but I could already sense their eagerness to absorb the night’s activities. After passing along our tickets to the boys, because at 2 and 4 they want to hand off the tickets, we made our way to our seats. My boys were totally enthralled with all the activities taking place. On one end they watched the players warm up and on the other, cheerleaders doing their thing. They watched the band make their way to the field and take their respective places while the whole time firing off question after question. Anyone that has had a 2 or a 4 year old knows what I’m talking about. They are sponges soaking up knowledge at every turn. Soon after the game started, they asked dad for popcorn, about 45 seconds into the game to be exact. I agreed to tag team the boys and my wife headed for the concession stand. Returning with two boxes of popcorn my once chaotic world just found peace. For the next half hour both boys sat back eating their popcorn content, watching all that was transpiring before their eyes. Like my boys, many others were sitting in the stands watching the game. All of us have some form of knowledge, some more than others but none the less knowledge. If I was to ask any of the spectators if they know something about the

game of football they’d all say “yes.” My boys have knowledge of the game, though limited by most standards; their knowledge consists of flashing lights, and popcorn. You ask the next person and they may understand the difference between half back, corner back, first down and touchback. Their knowledge is more in-depth about the game, but still holds limitations in really knowing the game. For anyone sitting in the stands that has not actually played football you can gain knowledge of the game but they will never intimately know the game. Many times we confused knowledge with intimacy. Many individuals know their spouse but don’t really know them. They sit in the stands watching everything go on around them but seldom get in the game. They watch their spouse from a distant, observing everything they’re doing but lazily sit by reluctant to lift a finger. Intimacy tends to scare people. In order to be truly intimate you have to be willing to open yourself up and that means taking a risk. It means getting off the marital sideline and getting into the game. You can know your spouse’s favorite color or restaurant to eat at but do you know what makes them feel alive. Do you pursue their heart in ways that brings fulfillment and joy? Intimacy requires intentionality. You can sit in the stands and tell everyone around you that you know the game of football but until you’ve been on the field taking the hits yourself you really don’t know the game. Ask yourself if you’ve been sitting on the sideline of your marriage or are you in the game? Many people avoid the game of really getting to know their spouse because of the fear of getting knocked down. Getting knocked down is not the sin, staying down or refusing to try is. You will find yourself emotionally imprisoned if you continue to sit by watching everything going on around you but refuse to participate.

Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services is proud to announce that we are now in our newly remodeled offices. We are also pleased to announce that our new website www.cornerstoneoftulsa.com is active. We are excited about bringing hope and healing to those hurting in our community, blending our Christian beliefs with our professionalism.

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BY DANNY C AHILL

Community Spirit is excited to have Danny Cahill as one of our featured, monthly writers. Whether you wrestle with your weight or not, you will enjoy Danny’s motivating column. We all cheered Danny on when he was on The Biggest Loser. Now, he continues to gain our applause while he shares his testimony with others. Danny loves the Lord and is not shy about telling people about Him. It is a blessing to the magazine to have his monthly article. Be sure to watch for Danny’s article each month.

A Matter of Fact or Faith?

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hen you’ve dug yourself into a hole the first thing you need to do is stop digging! But then what? I’ve been in more than one hole in my life, as I’m sure you have. There are several keys to getting out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself. Hard work and dedication are two, and the most important of all is having the faith that you can do it. I’ve seen victory after victory in my life, and it all had to begin with a belief that things could get better. If we have no hope that things can change, we will stay stuck. I’ll bet that most of you who are reading this can identify with what I am saying in some area of your life: finances, relationship, health, weight, or even an addiction. I’ve got news for you. There is hope! There is a way out! And it begins with one step! Let me explain. When I was 460 pounds, the idea of running was as foreign to me as standing on the moon. Then one day something happened. While walking around the Presidential Mile, Allen Smith, a co-star on Season 8 of The Biggest Loser said something to me. He said, “Let’s run.” Then of course I said, “What are you, CRAZY?!” Allen replied, “Just to that light pole up ahead, let’s go!” And he took off. I followed, but after 10 steps my mind told me to quit. Allen cheered me on and I chose to keep going. I made it to the light pole, and the next day, Allen challenged me to run a little farther. I noticed after a week of this something was happening. The time from when I started to when I wanted to quit was getting longer and longer. Nine months later I was running the 114th Boston Marathon, which was my second marathon in only 6 months! And each time I started running, the point where my mind

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would tell me to stop was getting farther and farther into my run! That day it was mile 13 before my mind said to stop! I’d gone from 10 steps to 13 miles before wanting to quit! Since that day, the thoughts of taking on seemingly impossible tasks aren’t as scary. In fact, I have the faith that if I begin, stay the course, and slightly increase day by day, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. And not only the time from starting to wanting to quit gets longer and longer, but the time from when I fall down to when I get back up gets shorter and shorter. That’s what life is all about. We’re going to be scared of the unknown, but we must be willing to take a step. We are going to fall down, but we must get back up. Faith will help you. And each time you accomplish something new, your faith gets bigger. So whatever you are struggling with today, ask God to give you the strength, then STAND UP AND BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY! Soon you may find yourself in the longest race of your life, and enjoying every minute of it!

PURCHASE DANNY’S NEW BOOK AT THEDANNYCAHILL.COM

A Second Chance, A Life Changed e shape, come to John 3:16 Mission in desperat Every day, dozens men and women also are hungry lly. They are hungry for food, but they physically, emotionally and spiritua their lives around. for hope and a real chance to turn ain open uinely care, the Mission’s doors rem Because of people like you who gen nge. and so does the chance for life cha first arrived, turn at John 3:16 Mission. When he Mike is one whose life took a dramatic in the Mission’s stay his ng duri But life. plans for his he was angry, pessimistic and had no to melt way an er, disappointment and cynicism beg homeless recovery program, his ang . him ut abo d especially God, really care as he realized that other people, and for the future — was transformed. He began to plan Gradually, his attitude — his entire life ges. colle ral seve to hips has earned scholars and resume his education. Today, Mike should know that although they People who give to the Mission e who come here for help, they hav may never meet me or the others be t ldn’ wou s live , them t hou an impact on everyone’s lives. Wit de because of the sacrifices they ma changing. My success in part is on my behalf.” second chance, you are giving people like Mike a real When you give to John 3:16 Mission, one they are truly grateful for.

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www.john316mission.org

“...if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness...” Isaiah 58:10 (NIV)

www.john316mission.org

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November 2013 | Community Spirit Magazine