WHEN I LOST MY MAKEUP
AND MY MIND BY JESSICA IVANKOVIC
So last week I decided to try a little experiment, to challenge my obsession with makeup! I kept a diary to see what would change if I went out al-naturale.
Day One
He says it’s a great idea, and there’s no need for me to cover myself up anymore. He says I look great. I wonder if he’s just saying that to make me feel better.
This morning I’ve started by putting all my makeup in a really big box and giving it to my bff Kat to keep from me. I warned her I might try to force it from her at some stage, quite possibly violently. She hid them from me so I couldn’t find it over the next seven days.
I know I find it difficult to take compliments (but that’s another story).
Day Three
I’m worried people will notice a big difference because I haven’t gone out without makeup since I discovered it years ago. Often people tell me I look “too pale” but I can’t help that – I was born with really white skin and mum has never ever let me out without sun screen (she says I’ll thank her when I’m 30)! … Will they tell me I’m ugly?
Today my housemate is trying to wrestle the muchmissed eyeliner out of my hands (I found an emergency one in my sock drawer), “Please ... today is important. Just let me have today! You don’t understand, I have a Very Good Reason!” I’m close to tears!! The reason being the Hot Bartender. Not just hot, but Super Hot. With capitals. And I’ve got a date with Mr Super Hot. Of course I want to look my best! And my best includes makeup.
I’m off to the city on the train, a HUGE test for any girl, especially one with pale skin and no makeup! At one stop a model-like girl gets on, and I notice her heavily-defined eyes and eyebrows, masses of lovely shades of blue and cheek bones to die for, which made me instantly regret my nakedness. Inwardly, I cringed.
“But Jess,” she sounds like my mum, “If you don’t wear it now, and especially now, then you’ll never be able to do it.” Sigh, I know she’s right, (and I hate her for a moment because she IS right). So, full of fear and unbelievably self-conscious, I grumpily go out to dinner with Mr Super Hot. I suppose at least this time I’m not in danger of being caught checking my
Later, I met up with a friend in the city for a cappuccino and I told him about the one-week experiment.
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