COA Magazine Fall 2017

Page 40

I nodded. "Where's yours?" Even though my bow still lay unfinished in the corner, I pointed to one of the finished ones Cliff always used as an example. She gasped and held it in her hands. "This is beautiful. How'd you make it?" "Took a while. Actually, do you mind if I turn the light back off? If the faculty look this way and see the light on—" She nodded. I turned the light off, but really we didn't have to. Open mic was going to last at least until ten; even if a faculty member went outside, the Bow Shop was deep enough in the woods that the light wouldn't make it through the trees, despite the absence of leaves. "Check this out," I said. I reached around in the dark, found the ladder to the loft and Zoe's hand. Guiding her to it, she climbed the rungs wordlessly. I had spent the last week looking for a place to take Zoe where no one would find us, so I had hidden all the stored cardboard boxes and snowshoes underneath the building. Should someone go to the Bow Shop, no one would think to look for us here.

a pale moonglow came, accompanied by stars. "Isn't it crazy," said Zoe, "how entrancing and unsettling the vastness of the universe can be?" This threw me off. I was thinking about when I would kiss her. Zoe kept talking. "It's like an ocean carrying off planets with castaways, lost except for their light. I really wish I brought my camera." I sat upright and nearly hit my head against the ceiling. "Except they're not even there." Zoe sat up with me. "What do you mean?" "Well, the stars aren't really there anymore. They're light-years away and even then, it's not like we are seeing them as they are now. Some of those stars have been dead for millions of years." Zoe shook her head. "Not all of them. Just because those worlds and stars are gone, doesn't mean they don't still matter. They are not lost entirely because their scrap of light is flung out into the dark, however many years later. Some still exist, and anyway they all still have a message in a bottle that's only

Was this the person I would spend the rest of my life with? I followed her into the loft. Zoe was looking up—there was a skylight in the roof that I had never seen before. I leaned all the way back and let my hands cradle my head as I lay down. Zoe did the same. It had been dark all week as I had snuck down here to clean and rearrange, but now

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just now washing up on our shore. They aren't forgotten. I'm cold," she murmured, so I took off my flannel and handed it to her. She smiled and said, "I thought I just gave this back to you." "Hey I'm not warm either. Keep complaining and I'll take it back."

"We can share. Here." She moved closer and I put my arm around her waist. I wasn't all that cold, but I could tell that she wasn't either. I realized that she was talking but I wasn't listening. I couldn't believe what I was about to do, but I concentrated, held out my hand, and placed a finger on her mouth. She stopped speaking and I leaned forward to meet her. The next few moments felt both an eternity and an instant, then we were back outside, her hand in mine. I felt more alive than I had ever felt. She was beside me now laughing into the night. I was grinning like an idiot and couldn't stop. We ran out onto the field and I felt breathless and tender for Zoe. She laughed and pulled my hand forward. Soon we were in the parking lot. I worried that she was trying to make me take her to my room, but as I turned towards the dorm, she pulled my hand in the other direction. At the car she stopped me and threw her arms around my neck. We were kissing again. I could feel the tug of her lips on mine, the indication of how much she wanted me, and this time I didn't feel bashful and pressed my body against hers, letting her know how much I wanted her. I held her waist, feeling her back arch over. She was up on her toes, which brought her mouth a little higher than mine, but I didn't care. We were both short. Everything felt so right and natural. Eventually, she let go and we separated. I felt the chill in the air now. We pulled out of the parking lot and went down the driveway, going past the bright light in the windows of the auditorium, but when we turned down the road, the buildings faded into the darkness. It didn't feel like breaking the rules. I was simply out for a ride with Zoe. Was this the person I would spend the rest of my life with? I watched her slow at the crossroads, come to a full stop, and ease the foot pedal forward till we sped up again. Was she this good at everything? Here was where I would

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