While caring for Rowan, Goldstein, author of "Puppy Chow Is Better Than Prozac" (Da Capo Press), wrote journal entries about his experiences and later used them for his blog, which he started in November. Eventually, he plans on turning the entries into a book. The first post explains the blog's name, when Goldstein accidentally dropped Rowan on her head after tripping over his dog while doing laundry. Other entries discuss caring for a sick baby, changing a diaper in public, bath time, baby modeling and breast-feeding. "Being a blogger is like joining a club. You want to hear what other people are going through and that you're not the only one," Goldstein commented. What "it comes down to, it's nice to know there's another guy changing diapers." Dr. Kathleen Cumiskey, chair of the psychology department at the College of Staten Island, agreed blogging is often done for social reasons. Home can be an isolating place, she said, and one reason both men and women blog is to communicate with others in similar situations. Bloggers also may experience what is known as "online disinhibition effect," she said. At home, sitting in front of a computer screen, they are able to say things and express feelings they may not discuss in person. The Internet is "a place where they feel comfortable, their guard is down," said Dr. Cumiskey, who studies how technology affects people's perceptions of social reality. "Online you can create your own social environment in a way," she said, adding, "They may be less influenced by society's expectations." INDIRECT ENTRY When Bronx resident Eric Payne started his blog two years ago, it wasn't a parenting blog. Instead it was a place where he could complain about his work commute. But one day, he wrote about coming into work feeling "dead tired" because his daughter was sleeping in his bed and beating him up during the night. While he received few comments to previous posts, this one gained a lot more interest. People related to his story and someone suggested he write mainly about his family life. Payne decided to try it out and his readership grew. On his blog "Makes Me Wanna Holler" (www.makesmewannaholler.com), the father of two offers anecdotal stories, including posts about the birth of his daughter, the worst sex talk ever with his teen son and food allergies. His goal, he noted, is to give people something they can relate to, not necessarily advice. Payne noted about 65 percent of his readers are women, ages 35 to 44, and some are single moms. His blog, he believes, makes them hopeful for their own relationships and gives them insight into a man's thoughts. "I think women want to hear from men; I think they're really curious to hear a guy be so open because many guys aren't," he said. One of Payne's favorite posts was written for the blog "Black and Married with Kids," to which he is a contributor. In "My Wife Is NOT My Friend (on Facebook)," he discusses issues he and his wife had when "friends" on the social networking site and how eventually he "unfriended" her. The post got about 4,000 hits in several hours. Payne says the entry "exposed something people weren't talking about" -- the complications that can come up between spouses on Facebook. As Payne's blog grew to include more than 400 posts, he started to see writing as a therapy of sorts. Through his blog, he has been able to sort out his family issues and likens it to a journal, except he's sharing it with the world. "Sometimes my blog is my sounding board. I can bounce ideas off of people or get an idea of what they are thinking," he said, adding, "Sometimes a commentor will steer me in the right direction or knock some sense into me." Andrea Boyarsky is a features reporter for the Advance. She may be reached at boyarsky@siadvance.com.
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