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91/2 STEPS TO BEING A DRUG MULE A Step-by-Step Guide by Tootsie Reynolds


91/2 STEPS TO BEING A DRUG MULE Tootsie Reynolds

Copyright Š2010 Cody Moiseve All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce in any form, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in review, without permission in writing from the author/ publisher.

Printed in Denver, Colorado, USA.

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE Welcome to your all-in-one guide to being a drug mule. This guide will be your one stop source to how to change your life and be a mule, or maybe even advance up into the ranks into a drug lord. Follow these simple steps and I guarantee that you will be almost as good of a drug mule as I was. Who am I? My name is Tootsie Reynolds and I successfully pulled off one of the greatest drug switches in the industry. However, I made a terrible mistake in trusting the wrong people and wound up murdered on a hotel room floor. I urge you to turn back now if you can. Use this book at your own risk, I am not responsible for any pain, loss, or death due to improper use of this guide. Enjoy! Have Fun, Good Luck

KEEPING YOUR COOL When working as a drug mule it is important to remember too keep your cool. You may find yourself in uncomfortable or awkward situations, but you must always remain calm. Here are four easy ways to stay cool under pressure.

Step No.1









Dress up is fun, dressing up your personality is even more fun. Pretend you are a cactus or a secret agent.

Are you a nervous sweater? Let everyone know you are a spontaneous exerciser. That way you can sweat freely. Remember, randomly running in circles with help your cause.

If you are nervous you will get caught with that kilo of heroin, make a game out of hiding it. This is your chance to be creative, find new places to hide it.

They may not match in color, but a good accessory can add to any outfit, some of my favorites are a derringer, dagger, poison, and a nice pair of gloves.

Step No.2 HIDING THE GOODS Like stated before hiding goods is a major skill of being a drug mule. While there are a number of fun and exciting ways and places to hide a Kilo of Cocaine, here are some great places that never get found. Remember SHUB.

S. H. U. B.

Shoes. Beautiful, sexy, and deadly. Although the contents is limited, wearing one size too big never hurt anyone. Hair. Ladies, the Beehive hairstyle is good for more than just killer looks. I have been able to fit an entire order of drugs up there before. Careful placement, lots of AquaNet and a good hour.* Underwear. Its cheesy, and a little trashy, but a good pair of panties can hold quite a haul. Smuggle drugs and look good doing it. Bra. Same as the underwear, this one is great for quick access and can hold a number of different items.

*Advanced dealers only, do not attempt without careful supervision. Not responsible for any slips, mishaps, or jail time

Make sure he or she is smart and quick thinking, but not smarter than you are, that would be a problem. Strength is important, especially if you are a female drug mule, you need a good strong man to help strong arm anyone who gets in the way.

ALWAYS HAVE A P AT S Y A twist of the wrist, and tickle of the fingers, it is vital to have someone who can move their hands without anyone being the wiser.

Quick feet and a good pair of running shoes are key. If you need to get out of a situation quickly, nothing is better and a great set of legs.

Slow brained, unintelligent Nancys are just going to slow the whole thing down, IQ must be higher than 80.

What good is someone with no muscle? There is no point in having a Patsy if you’re doing all the grunt work. This one is a no brainer.

NEVER HAVE A NANCY Unless they are your 90 year old grandmother with arthritis, there is no excuse for slow hands or untalented Nancy fingers.

On second thought, slow feet might not be a bad thing, at least for getting rid of them pretty quickly.

Step No.4

LIE LIKE HELL Honesty is a thing of the past; once you become a member of a drug society it is lie, lie, lie. But to really succeed, you must become an expert liar. Rather you are lying about what color the sky is, or that you shorted a buyer about a 1/3 of supply.

WHITE LIES “I love snakes, they are beautiful”

These are the least common lies in the industry, when you have to tell a lie, chances are its is going to be a whopper. Use this one carefully, it can be applied multiple times, as long as you do not overuse it too quickly.

GREEN LIES “I can’t stay out because I have to do my hair tonight”

Still less, deadly then yellow or red lies. Green lies are used in casual situations about basic stories. This lie generally still does not hurt anyone, but is vital in casual conversation to hide the truth, especially about your occupation.

YELLOW LIES Yes, that is the best quality cocaine we have in stock, definitly worth the value”

Occupational lie. This one is used the most frequently and can be applied in many situations including where you were at a certain time, how much drugs you are transferring, and most importantly, who you are with.

RED LIES “I think it was Johnny who stabbed you in the back and wanted to kill you and take you money, it wasn’t me.

The one the only, the most deadly red lie. This lie can only be used once before somebody dies. If you are careful about your lie, it won’t be you that dies, but the other. However, remember to think this lie all the way through before you use it and know what you’re doing. Practice with many yellow lies before graduating to this lie.


Step No.5

Love is patient, love is kind, love is useless. It is one of the most important rules in the field, never, never find love. Love always gets in the way, rather they distract you from your goals, cheat you, or even more terrible, kill you. Watch your back. If necessary, here are some things to help you through.


Ladies, and the occasional boy toy are acceptable, just don’t let it become anything more than a quick, fun time. These pickups are designed for a one night quick fix in a time of extreme need.


Now this is a safe alternative to get you off. If you are looking for a thrill, try race betting. Horses are fun, the thrill is breathtaking, and winning is just tops. This is my release, try it.


You probably already have one, to keep your cover going, but a fake boyfriend or girlfriend can actually be pretty handy. Just remember that as soon as you leave that bedroom, that is the end, it is not a relationship and it never will be. You have to keep the upper hand.


You may get pushed around a bit, you may get lonely. But despite the fact you are a drug mule you are not a prostitute, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.


This is my go to gun in any situation. Nice and small enough to fit in a purse, but deadly enough to drop any man.


Quiet and clean. With a silencer killing is easy. However, it is more difficult to carry around.


A little barbaric, but a hacksaw can be used in any tight situation you might find yourself in...any situation. Escape handcuffs, cut off fingers, good to go.


This is by far the best killer in a time of discreetness. Remember a little bit goes a long ways, one drop, one stop, a whole bottle opens up all kinds of fun.

So many weapons, such little time, creating an arsenal of weapons, and understanding the capability of each one is something you will only learn when you find yourself in a tight situation. However, being prepared to handle the situation, should the time arise, is also valuable. Look at some of these basic weapons I never leave my house without.


Serious Players ONLY. Needless to say, this machine gun will mess stuff up!

PRODUCT KNOWLEDGE You may just be the mule, but your product knowledge is mandatory. It is not just the supply you are selling but it is you as a mule, if they like you they will be a return customer. If you want any leverage in this industry get to know your product, first hand experience is key.

Step No.7



Know the difference between various measurements, as a mule you must be able to determine the difference between a brick, ounce, gram, etc. For quick knowledge, try holding every type and getting a feel for it.







This one is less important unless you work for international dealers, but if you want to move up in the world money and scale conversion is a necessary skill.

If you are transferring many different types of drugs, it is important to know what is what. Check out second book “Drugs and the Way They Look”, for a quick visual reference.

Your goal as a mule is to work with a reseller, but sometimes you get a wide range of customers, look for their type: Sleazy, Casual User, Reseller, Paranoid, Quickie, and Gumbo. When you know the type, you know the way you have to deal with them.

MAINTAIN A SOCIAL LIFE Even though your work is practically your life, maintaining a social life is one of the hardest, but trickiest skills to master. By keeping that social life, a mule does not raise questions or concerns by outside viewers. However, sometimes it is hard to remember what social is. Here are some helpful, fun things to do.

Step No.8


A lady always needs a nice bouquet of flowers. Rather it is for yourself, your “girlfriend� or in the occasional situation, to smuggle drugs, flowers always smell great.


It may seem silly, but women love to get all dolled up while gossiping about the latest drama. You may have nothing to say, but make up a story, they all do.


Go have a good time, it is fun, it is exciting, and a great opportunity to pick up new supplies. With a new seasons of purses, think of all the accessories you can fit into a larger bag.


These are by far the most fun. I always love a chance to dress up and dance. You can always spice up the night with a little dealing out back too. No night is complete until somebody dies.

Step No.9

TRUST NO ONE In this field, a mule has a short life expectancy, staying quick on your feet and watching your back can extend that time by two to three years. Trust no one and do not put your life in anyone’s hands. If you are not careful you may just wind up sleeping with the fishes.

Step No. 91/2

DID YOU GET ALL THAT? THESE ARE THE 9 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU WILL EVER LEARN IF YOU BECOME A DRUG MULE. LOOK OVER THIS CHECKLIST TO SEE IF YOU ARE READY TO MOVE TO THE BIG LEAGUES. Keeping your Cool Hiding the goods Always have a Patsy Absolutely No Love Lie Like Hell Pick Your Poison Product Knowledge Maintain A Social Life Trust No One

SKILLS AND SECRETS LEARNED Use this section to write notes, references, and ideas, this is one of the most important parts of a drug mule’s daily duties: to take notes and understand his or her tasks and experience to continue to perfect his or her skills.

THE SECRETS TO MY BOOK....TELL NO ONE 9 1/2 Steps to Being a Drug Mule is written, designed, and published by Tootsie Reynolds. The finished product was produced in Lakewood, Colorado on Adobe InDesign and hand bound by Cody Moiseve. The primary typeface is Sabon LT Std and was designed in 1964 by Jan Tschichold. Typefaces: Sabon LT Std, Roman; League Gothic, regular. Papertype: Mohawk Color Copy 98, Bright White Smooth, 60 Cover Binding: Perfect Bound Hardcover

Copyright Š2010 Cody Moiseve

9 1/2 Steps to Being A Drug Mule  

Book Design for Visual Sequencing class. Created as a spoof from an original book regarding a photograph of a hotel.

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