Lindsay Young Lopez Getting the most out of life Within & Without: The Practice of Pratyahara Home Sweet Restaurant
april 2010, premier issue
publisher smart media, llc 2000 e. broadway, # 138 columbia, mo. 65201 573-999-0677 www.columbiawomanmagazine.com
editor kate smart harrison
associate publisher zach harrison
associate editor beatriz wallace
art director cody moore/waking illustration www.wakingillustration.com photography (cover, feature) from the moment we began thinking about creating Columbia Woman magazine and voicing these thoughts to family, friends and eventually strangers, we were met with an overwhelmingly positive response. But one question was asked without fail, what exactly is this magazine about? What's the focus? The title tells you something, Columbia Woman: Celebrating the Success of Women. We have named a location, specified half the population and mentioned a celebration (which is always good!), but what's the content? There are two answers to this question.
contributing writers kate stull amanda long sarah kohl mike seddon emily kensington laurie forster chrystal spurgeon
The long answer is, Columbia Woman, is a magazine celebrating the vast and varied success women experience — as professionals, as mothers, as partners, as people. Columbia Woman acknowledges success is selfdefined and honors what each and every woman does to create and realize her own version of success. Columbia Woman is committed to promoting real and relevant content, focused on real life. You can count on Columbia Woman for topics that inform, energize, encourage, motivate and inspire. The short answer is, it is about You. Best of Life—
account executive andrea smolanovich
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Kate Smart Harrison Editor 4
proud member of the chamber and the womens network
contents | cw april 2010 Features
On the Cover 8 Getting the Most Out of Life: Lindsay Young Lopez by Kate Smart Harrison Lindsay Young Lopez is a woman that reminds us it is not only possible to be a successful professional, devoted mother, supportive spouse and involved community leader, but it can be done with flair and it can be done well.
Food 12 Perfect Partners: Food and Wine by Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach® 22 What Came First? The Chicken (Salad) or the Egg (Salad)
Entertainment 18 Can Listening to Music Help You Work Better? by Mike Seddon
Life 21 Learning How to Listen by Emily Kensington
28 Three Easy Steps to Make Tax Season Simple Next Year by Christal N. Spurgeon
Health 24 Within and Without: The Practice of Pratyahara by Sarah Kohl 26 Springing Forward with Healthy Eating Habits by Beatriz Wallace
Columns Life 15 Super Human Powers: Experiencing Life While Creating a Life by Kate Stull
Career 30 What’s in a Job: Home Sweet Restaurant by Amanda Long
Departments 4 Editor’s Welcome 14 Events 16 Staff Picks: Health Products 20 Connect: We Want to Hear from You 31 At Your Services
Hi There! Columbia Woman magazine is currently seeking additional sales reps and contributors.
If you think you got the chops, call, 573-999-0677 or email, ColumbiaWoman@gmail.com
on the cover
Out of Life: Lindsay Young Lopez
by kate smart harrison
photos by david owens
lindsay young lopez is a woman who reminds us it is not only possible to be a successful professional, devoted mother, supportive spouse and involved community member, but it can be done with flair and it can be done well. One might think these titles mutually exclusive, or at best, two out of four wouldn't be bad, but Lopez accomplishes all four and still has time for a little singing on the side! Lopez started her pattern of high achievement early in life. Growing up in Fayette, Mo., she moved through elementary and middle school at a clip that exceeded her age. However, by age 16 she was ready for a new challenge. Following her sophomore year of high school, she applied and was accepted to Stephens College, making her the youngest student ever accepted at the time. Lopez joked she has considered going back and getting her high school diploma, but believes it is a little more interesting not having one! After a year at Stephens, Lopez transferred to the University of Missouri where she graduated with a Bachelor’s in interdisciplinary studies with foci in political science, marketing and French. She entered college with the mindset of becoming an attorney and graduated with the conclusion the attorney track was not for her. She briefly tried sales and found this was not her niche either. On the suggestion of a friend, Lopez applied for a position in the area of institutional development with the University of Missouri. From there, Lopez found her professional calling, saying that she “fell head over heels in love with development.” Lopez spent eleven years in development at the university before moving to Columbia College, where she is currently the senior director of development. What exactly does it mean to direct development at an institution? Lopez describes her role, and the role of development, simply and poignantly: it's about relationships and philanthropy. Lopez acknowledges fundraising is a central component of development, but the true heart of her work lies in “assisting people in reaching their philanthropic goals and honoring them for their contributions.” “All gifts have a deep impact on the institution, students and faculty,” says Lopez, who has the pleasure to witness time and time again the genuine value these gifts bring. The relationships she develops, the opportunities created for people to pursue philanthropic goals and the ability to enhance the college make her job incredibly rewarding.
“Give to something you love-your church, higher education, art.
Find what you love and support it. Use financial resources if you can, but use your time and talent if you can't. You don't just have to give of your (monetary) treasure.”
April 2010 9
“Once you view something as a challenge, you can turn it in to an opportunity” When Lopez talks about development and philanthropy you can’t help but become inspired. Her passion is palpable, and she strongly believes “philanthropy is essential to our lives.” Lopez relays her zeal and encourages everyone to “give to something you love — your church, higher education, art. Find what you love and support it. Use financial resources if you can, but use your time and talent if you can’t. You don't just have to give of your (monetary) treasure.” Knowing her job exceeds normal 9–5 expectations, Lopez lovingly dedicates more than the traditional 40 hours to her role at Columbia College. Lopez’s responsibilities as senior director of development are far reaching and include relationship building between donors and the college, event management, administration of endowments, planned gifts, data and gift administration, management of six staff and participation in various committees. It is evident how much Lopez values working with Columbia College. She speaks highly of the leadership of the President, Gerald Brouder, and the direction the college is heading under his guidance. She reveres the progressive nature of the school, creating online, evening and nationwide programs in an effort to “serve the under-served and make education accessible to anyone who wants it.” Currently the college is working on securing funding for a state-of-the-art science building, as well as student and faculty support in the sciences. In her own department, Lopez names Executive Director of Development, Alumni and Public Relations Michael Kateman as a mentor. Lopez says Kateman creates an atmosphere where everyone “is an integral part of the team,” an approach that makes for an effective and enjoyable work environment. Lopez believes Kateman also, “strikes a balance between professional and personal life,” a quality she truly admires. 10
Her affection for Columbia is apparent not only in her words, but also in her actions as an industrious and committed community member. Her involvement with community organizations and committees ranges from the Chamber of Commerce and the City of Columbia annual commemorative poster campaign to the King’s Daughters. These are only a handful of the many organizations she is actively involved in around Columbia. How does she do it? How does Lopez balance a vigorous career with an equally vigorous family and still manage to be an engaged and active community member? Lopez readily admits her life comes with certain sacrifices, the most common being time for herself, but her passion and belief in all her roles make those sacrifices worthwhile. How she does it is trumped by why she does it; she does it because the roles of wife, mother, professional and volunteer are all important pieces of who she is. When asked about life stresses and how she personally copes with them, Lopez is quick to say she prefers not to use the word stress. For Lopez, viewing situations as sources of stress can lead to a negative perspective; rather she sees potential
The balance of the professional and personal is something Lopez is incredibly skilled in as well. Outside of her fastpaced professional career, she has a fast-paced personal life. Lopez and her husband, Anthony, have been married for nearly 13 years and have two children, Bennett, 11, and Kathryn, 6. Lopez says she and Anthony make family a priority, and work in tandem so the children know this. When talking about children, life and things she enjoys, Lopez mentions baking cupcakes for school parties. Homemade cupcakes? Yes, Lopez still finds time to bake cupcakes for birthdays and class parties. When asked how she finds time, her method is impressive — baking on weekends, freezing, thawing and decorating cupcakes (often late) the night before — but not as powerful as her message, “It's important to my kids so it's important to me.” Lopez loves Columbia. Columbia has, “all the good things about a big city, but is still a small town.” An arts enthusiast, she cherishes the dynamic arts community in the city and the many outlets available, whether you want to soak in the arts or actively participate in them. Lopez appreciates local parks, recreation resources and the bountiful volunteer opportunities the city offers, believing there are many “things we do better here than anywhere ... I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.”
Above: Lindsay Young Lopez and Doug Baker.
“philanthropy is essential to our lives.” stressors as challenges. “Once you view something as a challenge, you can turn it in to an opportunity.” Lopez shares, “You turn a negative in to a positive.” She also believes this proactive attitude assists in alleviating whatever stress may be tied to a particular challenge. Lopez’s view on stress does not come as a surprise. Within a short conversation it is evident Lopez is a woman of action, of doing, a mover and shaker or as she coins herself, “Type A minus.” Lopez says she has lots of Type A qualities, but she tries not to be over the top. Lindsay Young Lopez has defined her own version of success and she is living it. Lopez firmly believes in the importance of using one’s “skills and talents to make a difference,” and she clearly lives by these words in everything she does — at work, at home and in her community. cw April 2010 11
food and wine
photo by paragon light, inc
which comes first—the food or the wine? This is a common debate at the Forster dinner table. I met my husband Chef Michael Forster at a food and wine pairing class eight years ago and we have been discussing the topic ever since. When we go out to dinner I like to first select the wine and then pick an entrée that works with my favorite wine. Michael instead thinks the food should come first and then the wine should be selected that enhances the dish. Just like any great relationship, we have both had to learn to balance and compromise to make these dining experiences fun for both of us. Understanding the concepts used for food and wine pairing can be quite similar to understanding the dynamics of personal relationships. Use the following tips to simplify your wine and food pairing decisions. These are the keys to creating the perfect match for your next meal. We have all heard the sayings “opposites attract,” or the converse, “complementary partners make the best matches.” Sound like relationship advice? Well it is, but these rules can also be used to create successful food and wine pairings. The Contrasting method uses diverse flavors to play off each other, e.g., when pairing a dry red wine with a New York strip steak, the steaks juiciness and the wines dryness counteract each other. The Complementary method matches flavors to enhance them, e.g., rich foods with rich wines or powerful foods with powerful wines. For instance, try pairing a seafood dish in a creamy sauce with a rich, buttery Chardonnay. The richness of the wine will add to that of the dish giving real “power” to the pairing. Don’t forget to match “like weights.” No, I am not talking about weight lifting, but rather matching the weight of the wine with the weight of the foods. Light fare with lighter bodied, more delicate wines, and fuller bodied, more intense 12
wines with bigger foods. This is actually one of the food and wine concepts that is most intuitive. Most of us wouldn't think to order a light, fruity Pinot Grigio with a New York Strip steak, or conversely, a glass of hearty Cabernet Sauvignon with a cold seafood salad. Compare it to choosing the right shoes for an outfit; Would you pick a strappy sandal for a conservative business suit? A chunky pump for a flowing floral number? Wine is an accessory that can really enhance your dining experience! Understanding the specific wine and flavor reactions that can occur will help in experimenting and creating your own perfect partners. Here are some key concepts: Salt lowers the perceived acid in wine. Acid in wine is that tangy or sour sensation you get on your tongue. Imagine biting a lemon that's acid. Salty foods will need higher acid wines. Try tasting a pinch of salt with both a crisp, high acid Sauvignon Blanc and a mellow, lower acid Chardonnay. Notice how each change in the presence of the salt. The acidity of the Sauvignon Blanc will soften but the Chardonnay will most likely end up losing most, if not all of its flavor. Tannins in red wines are softened by animal fats in things like meat, cheese, and butter. Tannins, a naturally astringent substances found in grape skins, are also found in some foods like walnuts. Tannins are perceived in our mouths as a sense of dryness. Highly tannic wines can make you feel like you have instant cottonmouth. Try eating a bunch of walnuts or red grapes…you’ll end up getting the same sensation. Wines with firmer tannins are a natural pairing with fattier dishes likes red meats, cheeses or stews. Try a Cabernet Sauvignon that has firm tannins with a bite of steak and notice how it softens.
Chef Michael Forster and Laurie Forster.
Sweet wines tone down spicy foods whereas high alcohol dry wines will intensify the heat of spices. Try hot sauce with Moscato d'Asti (a sweet sparkler from Italy) or a slightly sweet Vouvray (a Chenin Blanc from France). Then try the same sauce with an oaky Chardonnay or Cabernet Sauvignon. The first two wine will tone down the heat whereas the last two will make the food taste even spicier. High acid wines with high acid foods will create a neutralizing effect rather than intensifying the sourness. Try a Sauvignon Blanc with goat cheese separately each is quite acidic, but as a couple they are fabulous! What do you do if you want to order one wine to make everyone happy? Often, we are out with friends and ordering totally different food, but we want to share a bottle of wine. There are two grapes that are considered to be “universal” (meaning they can stand up to most food choices). These are dry Riesling and Pinot Noir. They both have the right combination of fruit and acid to complement a wide variety of cuisine. Remember that the best food and wine pairing is the one YOU like best … forget charts, rules, or offending the sommelier. Just like you might not like the men your Mom wanted to set you up with, you might not like the wine suggested by your server or sommelier. So, how do you learn what you like? Taste, taste and taste some more. Consider ordering a few different glasses with each course or experimenting at home to see what you like. You’ll notice with a little practice picking the perfect partner for any meal will come naturally! cw About the Author: Laurie Forster is a certified sommelier, wine educator and author of the award winning book The Sipping Point: A Crash Course in Wine. Known nationally as The Wine Coach®, Laurie’s specialty is creating unique corporate keynotes, team building events and group tasting seminars where she can deliver on her mission to demystify wine one glass at a time. In addition to her successful career as a wine educator, Laurie writes for several magazines, is a sought after speaker and can be heard on radio shows across the country including most recently Martha Stewart Radio. To receive Laurie's FREE audio CD “The 7 Secrets to Flawlessly Ordering Wine” visit: http://www.thewinecoachsecrets.com © 2005 The Wine Coach™ All rights reserved.
“What do you do if you want to order one wine to make everyone happy?” April 2010 13
events | april 2010 3 The Womens International League for Peace and Freedom Meeting Sven's Kafe and Gallery 110 N. Orr St . #101, Columbia, Mo. 65201 Therese Folsom at 573-268-4353
6 Chamber of Commerce Quarterly Membership Breakfast 7:15 a.m. at the Holiday Inn Select Executive Center Windsor Ballroom www.columbiamochamber.com
8 Stephens College True Confessions of a High-Heeled Leader: A Conversation with Anne Deaton Hors d’oeuvres and wine at 5:15 p.m. Conversation at 6 p.m. Kimball Ballroom of Lela Raney Wood Hall 6 N. College Ave. Central Missouri Humane Society Dining out for Animals Lunch from 11 a.m.–1 p.m. and dinner from 5 p.m.–10 p.m. Check www.cmhspets.org for participating locations
10 Columbia Second Chance Open House Noon–4 p.m. www.columbia2ndchance.org New location: 24687 Highway 179 573-445-5598
22 Women’s Network 2010 Athena Awards Cocktails 5 p.m., Program begins 6 p.m. University Club Liz Glockhoff, 817-9119
25 Columbia Earth Day Festival Peace Park Noon–7 p.m. Call 573-875-0539 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
For submissions, e-mail ColumbiaWoman@gmail.com
Experiencing life while creating a life
being pregnant is about dealing with extremes. that’s right, the miracle of life isn’t completely surrounded by laced bonnets and fluffy stuffed animals; rather, it’s an interesting mix of dos and do nots, wants verses needs, cans and cannots. For nine months I’ve had heightened senses that would make Clark Kent jealous — namely taste and smell. Not only do I possess these super powers, but it seems as though I’m now instinctually driven to use them for good instead of evil in the kitchen. Some may call this “nesting,” and perhaps it is, but pregnancy has shown me cooking can be cathartic — even when some culinary experiments don’t exactly succeed. My husband’s thrilled about my new passion, and I know I’ll appreciate it after the baby arrives, as much of what I’m cooking goes into the freezer for future meals. Burning off steam in the kitchen is one thing, but nothing can stand between me and the wonderful world of dairy. If I’ve had a pregnancy craving, dairy is it. Unfortunately for me, this craving also comes with limitations, as most of what I consider to be “the good types of cheese” are on the no-no list: bleu, brie, feta, etc. But I take comfort in the fact that my temporary sacrifice of these indulgences is just that: temporary. Soon I’ll have a healthy, beautiful baby boy in my arms to love for the rest of my life. I’ll admit, the cravings are not nearly as extreme as the fear often associated with the process that occurs before bringing baby home, and that’s labor. I think it’s intimidating for two main reasons: 1. No one knows the reality of labor until they've experienced it, and every pregnant person must experience it. No way around it. 2. Most every mother concedes there’s some pain involved. What’s my approach? I truly believe fear will only make the pain of labor worse, so I’ve accepted it. I’ve prescribed myself
the duty of doing as much reading, watching and asking as possible until D-Day arrives. Education is the best medicine, ladies, which everyone can (and should) work on for themselves and the safe delivery of their baby. cw
Some resources I've found helpful: • The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy: Or everything your doctor won't tell you by Vicki Lovine • Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth by Jenny McCarthy • What to Expect When You're Expecting: 4th Edition by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel Please check out the next issue of Columbia Woman magazine for a follow-up article. Kate Stull, VANGEL | email@example.com D-Day: April 24, 2010 photos by kate stull
photo by lg patterson
by kate stull
Left: 16 weeks. Right: 32.5 weeks. April 2010 15
Waring Pro JEX328 Juice Extractor You’ve heard it a million times, “Eat your fruits and veggies!” Unfortunately there is a finite number of combinations for spinach, cucs, tomatos, and sunflower seeds, not to mention the six tired bottles of salad dressings calling your name from the back of the fridge. The juicer is the perfect fix for the green vegetable blahs. Faster than you can pick a super value meal from the local drive-thru, you can enjoy a green glass of deliciousness chock full of fiber, protein, vitamins A, B6, C, and K, Iron, Potassium and Calcium. Try replacing your morning cup of joe with this energizing and tasty drink and you’ll notice renewed energy all day long! And of course, green lips make the healthiest kisses!
Green Goddess Juice 1 apple 1/2 a bunch of kale (local, organic) 1 inch of ginger, peeled
Kinky Curly Come Clean and Knot Today shampoo and conditioner Best of the best. Do you feel like you’ve tried every kind of curly hair product there is to no avail? 95 percent of all commercial shampoos contain sodium laurel sulfates that strip your hair of it’s natural oils and leave acidic residue and those uncontrollable dried out frizzies. Come Clean shampoo contains mandarin orange fruit, marigold flower, white willow bark and sea kelp to leave your hair feeling clean and moisturized. The ingredients are pure and simple so you don’t have to worry about any sulfates or heavy perfumes ruining your perfectly humidly awesome hair day. And with ingredients like mango fruit extract, marshmallow root and lemongrass in the Knot Today conditioner and detangler, how can you go wrong? Soft, bouncy, natural and organic curls coming right up!
Grapefruits Snacks make us feel like preschoolers again, so instead of spending that 3 o’clock afternoon slump grazing facebook or fantasizing about your far away summer vacation, step into the moment and slice open a zenfully delicious pink grapefruit. Remember — nothing good happens overnight, so start slowly, eliminating one vice food per week — that afternoon pick me up soda is the perfect habit to kick to the curb! Substitute it with a fat burning, refreshing, antioxidant rich grapefruit. Squeeze the grapefruit juice into your favorite glass full of ice, and take a break outside to notice the taste and aroma of this sweet citrus fruit. For an extra treat add a shot or two of San Pellegrino for some fizzy goodness. Grapefruits are full of the lycopene, fiber, calcium, bioflavanoid and other plant chemicals that protect us against cancer, tumours and heart disease. These citrus beauties also increase the metabollic rate and lower your insulin levels leaving you enviably content and energized for your dinner date or afternoon walk in the dog park.
Pearls Probiotic Immune Strengthening Formula Step away from the artificially flavored yogurts and smoothies and discover the benefits of probiotics without the sugar and calories! 70 percent of the immune system is in the digestive tract, so in addition to loading up on leafy greens and oranges, try adding Pearls Probiotic Immune Booster to your daily regimen to enjoy a healthy and adventurous Spring this year. In addition to relieving occasional gas, bloating, and indigestion, Pearls Probiotics help maintain white blood cell production, healthy digestion and manage a healthy yeast balance. Pearls Probiotics have a triple shell capsule to ensure that active cultures arrive fully intact so they can most effectively work their magic in your intestinal track. This special immune boosting version of the Probiotic also supports the body’s own anti-inflammatory response to keep your body ready for any physical fitness challenge!
Blue Ice Fermented Cod Liver Oil Cinnamon Tingle Getting your daily intake of EPA and DHA is way important, but this product has more to offer than improved nervous system, healthy brain function and anti-inflammatory benefits. Family owned Green Pastures uses the fermentation process to avoid heat and retain CoQ enzymes, vitamins K, E, and D, and other nutrients often lost during processing. What does that mean? Look to Blue Ice Fermented Cod Liver Oil to maintain healthy joint function, improve skin, strengthen bones and teeth, improve mood and avoid intermittent depression. Our knowledgeable friend and expert, Bruce Topping of Clover’s Natural Market recommends coating your throat with a shot of milk before and after this supplement to improve taste — and it works — cinnamonny, tingly, and delicious!!
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. April 2010 17
entertainment there are many people who like to listen to music while they work and I am certainly one of them. I find it helps me focus more on the task at hand. Of course I can imagine that there are people who listen to music because it helps them NOT to focus on their job. Whilst there may be many reasons for wishing to listen to music in the workplace, can it really improve your productivity? We know that music can alter your mood. Films have been using musical scores for years to create the right mood for a scene. At times you hardly notice the music at all but you are very receptive to the mood being conveyed. So can we use music to put us in a “productive” mood? Research seems to support such a claim. For example, a trial where 75 out of 256 workers at a large retail company were issued with personal stereos to wear at work for four weeks showed a 10 percent increase in productivity for the headphone wearers. Other similar research conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois found a 6.3 percent increase when compared with the no music control group. So if we accept that music does increase productivity, does it matter what types of music we listen to? Does all music have the same effect or are certain types better in certain circumstances? If your goal is to increase your concentration then music which has a constant, easy beat and light melodies are recommended. These are said to be good for those trying to study as they help you pace your reading to aid focus and memorising. Baroque music is reported as an excellent example, especially the works of Vivaldi, Bach and Handel.
by mike seddon illustration by cody moore
Rock music can have a similar effect. According to a report in the journal Neuroscience of Behavior and Physiology, the Russian Academy of Sciences discovered that a person's ability to recognize visual images, including letters and numbers, is faster when either rock or classical music is playing in the background. If you are aiming to be more productive through being more relaxed, then you may be interested to learn that research has shown that music with an upbeat rhythm can reduce stress hormone levels by as much as 41 percent. Some of the most publicised studies into whether listening to music increases productivity have centred on what has been termed the “Mozart effect.” The term got its name after a study showed that college students had performed better solving mathematical problems when listening to classical music. The effect of listening to Mozart does not appear to be limited to humans either. Apparently cows will produce more milk if Mozart is played. cw
with healthy eating habits by beatriz wallace
it’s finally spring and you’ve decided you want 10 pounds gone … finito, purely, simply off your sweet little mid-section and back to the brownie pan from where they leapt out at you all those desperately cold winter nights. We know food is comforting, and we especially know that sometimes after a long day all you need is a your favorite loveseat and something sinfully sweet and delicious. But most of all you remember that you don’t really care about what the scale says, you just want to love your body and break the late night junk food binge that leaves you feeling tired and guilty in the morning. Follow this simple guide to fun-loving comfort food and manageable lifestyle changes that will renew your energy and help you regain confidence to keep you feeling like one hot mama. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
And finally, the good, the great and the amazing...
Let’s start with the ugly... • Partially hydrogenated ANYTHING — forget about them — read the labels and steer clear — and don’t worry acceptable junk food DOES exist without them.
• Trade in your morning coffee for a big honking serving of fruit. Set your alarm clock an hour earlier and take a walk with your dog or tune into YogaToday.com for a sunrise session. When you’re done, have a bowl of strawberries or try some granola with peaches, blueberries, bananas, and unsweetened almond milk. You’ll notice the changes in attitude and energy levels immediately!
• Soda — contains tons of sugar that creates an acidic environment in your body and produces fat cells and high levels of phosphorous that can increase calcium loss from the body. • Aspartame — aspartame contains methyl alcohol that turns into formaldehyde in your body which is toxic and carcinogenic. And now for the bad… • Counting calories — that is no way to go through life! All calories are NOT created equal and with a little work and research you can eat freely AND feel full. • Skipping meals or experimenting with diet pills — the only way to feel good is to eat healthy and that means fruits, vegetables and water will now be taking their role as your new best friend. • Giving up —you are not giving up your favorite foods, you are a new person with more knowledge and power to make loving, healthful choices about what you put into your body — life is a party, love it! 20
• Healthy comfort foods — there is no reason on earth to give up good friends, lemonade and cookies after a long day. Take a visit to your local grocery or health food store and check out the labels. Look for sweets that don’t have preservatives, refined sugars or animal fats. Try Late July Vanilla Bean with Grean Tea Sandwich Cookies, Tings Crunchy Corn Sticks or Garden of Eatin’ Sunny Blue Tortilla Chips. Mindfully enjoy these snacks in controlled portions and with lots of love. • Most importantly add an affirmation to your daily routine. These positive statements can include “Every day in every way I’m getting healthier and healthier,” or “Every day in every way I’m loving my body more and more.” Whatever it is, breathe in happiness and exhale affirmations. Sing them when you shower and whisper them at work. Affirmations keep your goals in focus and this positive momentum creates your new reality. cw
Learning how to as a couples therapist, I don’t always give relationship advice. In fact, at its core therapy is a practice of listening and “presence.” Often, just the understanding ear of a psychotherapist can be soothing to clients who are experiencing stress. As a result, learning how to listen is a requirement for any effective psychotherapist. Ever cry your heart out to a good friend, and afterwards felt much better even though they may have said very little or anything at all? The reason you felt relieved is because it works wonders. Unfortunately, we live in a society of “rugged individualism” where many like to be the center of attention, to publicly and unashamedly speak of their problems but rarely caring about the needs of others. (Conflict-driven Reality television and TV talk shows are perfect examples of this.) As a long-time couples and marriage therapist I’ve seen how a basic inability to listen to ones’ partner can spell doom for a relationship. Indeed, learning how to listen to your mate is a fundamental part of any successful union.
In addition, remain cognizant of non-verbal behavior. In fact, 90 percent of communication is non-verbal, so be aware of changing facial expressions such as frowns, a raised eyebrow, or oncoming tears. Importantly, if you don’t bother to notice any of those things then you are missing what is TRULY being said! Remember, take it slow. Don’t rush through conversations just to get back to doing something else. Turn off all distractions such as the television or radio. Try helping your partner to further elaborate by asking open-ended questions in order to gain more information, and closed-ended questions to increase clarification.
“Ever cry your heart out to a good friend, and afterwards felt much better even though they may have said very little or anything at all?”
The good news is that learning to listen is easy! First, pay attention to your partner. When communicating with someone, directly face them in order to show interest. In fact, by showering your undivided attention upon your partner you show that you value them in a way that few others have.
Finally, one important piece of relationship advice: Don’t become defensive. If your knee jerk reaction is to get defensive when someone criticizes you, this will greatly hinder your ability to truly hear what your partner is saying. In conclusion, you have been equipped with some tools and techniques that will enable you to better communicate with your partner. Learning to listen is a skill that takes a little time to master, but try it and I promise you’ll see positive results! cw
Maintain eye contact. Your body posture should indicate that not only is your partner important to you, but that they are, at that moment, the only person in the world that matters. Sit down next to them if they’re sitting, don’t stand.
n e t lis
by emily kensington illustration by cody moore April 2010 21
What Came First? The Chicken (Salad) or the Egg (Salad) Simple & Delicious Chicken Salad 1 roasted chicken (Deli counter usually has tasty roast chickens prepared) 2 celery stalks, chopped 3 green onions, minced ½ cup light Mayonnaise 3 tbsp. Dijon mustard Juice from half a lemon Salt & pepper to taste Shred chicken, combine with other ingredients and serve. Island Chicken Salad 3 large chicken breasts 8 oz. can crushed pineapple (drain half of the juice) 1 cup seedless grapes, crushed ½ cup green onion, chopped 1 cup light Mayonnaise 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. white pepper 1 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. curry powder Cook chicken breasts* using desired method and when cool enough to handle, cube. Mix ingredients and refrigerate for one hour. Serve. *Brining chicken breasts prior to cooking greatly enhances moisture. Combine ½ cup salt with ½ gallon of cool water and stir until salt is dissolved. Allow chicken breasts to soak for 1–2 hours. Remove and rinse. The difference is amazing!
Amy K's Chicken Salad 2 nine oz. cans canned chicken 3 tbsp. sweet relish ½ cup slivered almonds 1 medium red onion chopped 1 apple diced 1 bunch of seedless grapes halved light Mayonnaise (add until desired consistency achieved) Salt & pepper to taste Combine ingredients and enjoy!
The foundation of all great egg salads is a perfectly boiled egg. A suggestion for achieving such perfection is to place eggs in a pot of cold water over medium heat. Once water comes to a full boil, place a lid on the pot and allow to boil for about one minute. Remove pot from heat and leave eggs in the pot, covered, for 10 minutes. Transfer eggs to an ice water bath for five to ten minutes and then peel. Your foundation is set!
Tarragon Egg Salad 8 large eggs, hard-boiled and diced ½ cup light Mayonnaise 3 tbsp. finely chopped shallot 2 tbsp. finely chopped fresh tarragon or 2 tsp. dried tarragon 2 tsp. white-wine vinegar ¼ tsp. salt, or to taste ¼ tsp. black pepper, or to taste Mix ingredients and serve.
The Classic Egg Salad 6–8 hard-boiled eggs, peeled & diced ¼ cup light Mayonnaise (add more or less to achieve desired consistency) 2 tsp. dried parsley or 2 T fresh parsley ½ red onion, chopped fine 1 celery stalk, chopped fine 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard 3 tsp. lemon juice ½ tsp. salt ½ tsp. black pepper ½ tsp. white pepper Combine ingredients and serve. Dilly Egg Salad 6 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and diced 2 tbsp. light Mayonnaise 2 tbsp. sour cream 1 tbsp. spicy mustard 1 tbsp. lemon juice ¼ cup fresh, chopped dill or 3 tsp. dried dill 2 green onions, chopped Salt and black pepper to taste Mix mayo, sour cream, mustard and lemon juice. Add dill and green onion, stir. Fold in egg. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve on lightly toasted wheat bread or other dark bread.
Thanks to Amy Glover, Amanda Long and Gemma Fickess.
Tofu Salad 1 lb. firm tofu (the refrigerated kind, White Wave is really good) ½ cup Vegenaise (soy mayo or your favorite mayo) ½ cup organic celery, chopped small ½ cup organic parsley, minced ¼ cup organic red onion, chopped small 1 cup organic carrot, grated ½ cup sunflower seeds 1 tbsp. Old Bay Seasoning (in the seafood dept of the market, it’s in a yellow can) ½ tsp. turmeric Drain the water from the tofu and crumble it into a bowl so no large chunks remain. Add the Vegenaise, Old Bay and turmeric and mix well. Add remaining ingredients and mix again. Add sea salt and pepper to taste. Serve on toast or buns or with veggies or just by itself it’s soooo tasty! Recipe courtesy of Leigh Lockhart, Owner Main Squeeze Natural Foods Café 28 South Ninth Street
April 2010 23
Within Without The Practice of Pratyahara by sarah kohl
yoga is all the rage these days. You hear of everyone and their brother and sister doing yoga. Celebrities are photographed and published in glossy magazines espousing the many benefits of yoga. Clothing retailers are getting in on the goods by selling yoga clothes. There is even a movement to make Competitive Yoga an Olympic sport. It’s everywhere — or at least it seems to be.
It also seems that, to the mass public, yoga = Asana. While it is true that Asana (postures, poses, the physical movement) is an important part of yoga, it is far from all encompassing. The Sutras of Patanjali (the essential bible for all yogis) state that there are 8 limbs of yoga that make up the yogic lifestyle. Asana is only one of those limbs. Among the other 7, Pratyahara is the all important 5th limb, but what does it mean and how does it work? Pratyahara means Withdrawal of the Senses. Why would anyone want to do that? According to Patanjali, Yoga is the “restraint of the modifications of the mind-stuff.” In other words, directed focus in the midst of distraction: Being centered, on track, present, internal. Being — without being swayed. Pretty hard to do that when your kid is screaming at his brother, you can only smell the burnt popcorn left over from movie time, your belly is growling because the popcorn burned, you are working on your grocery list in your head, and someone washed your favorite sweater on hot and now it’s fitting you like a 3 year old’s scuba suit. At times like this it helps to withdraw from all that stuff, get centered and focused in order to stay cool. Pratyahara also comes into handy when nothing seems to be going on. Have you ever listened to the chatter that goes on inside your brain? We all constantly talk to ourselves in our heads, even when we don’t realize we are doing it. Quite often, this self talk is negative and harmful. We tell ourselves we can’t, we shouldn’t, we don’t deserve. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, smart enough, enough enough. These judgments detract from the holy beings that we are. They sabotage the whole job we are put here to do — to hold and share The Divine Light that lives in us all. No wonder we are edgy, scattered, dissatisfied, soul-hungry human beings! What would it be like to quiet the chatter? What if we were inside a bubble, completely present in the moment, but essentially untouchable? What if, no matter what, nothing
could ever harsh our mellow? This is what Pratyahara is all about. Pratyahara gets us to a place where we are focused, present, aware ... and our mellow is untouchable. When dedicating my Asana practice to the limb of Pratyahara, I change things up a bit. Pratyahara requires me to slow down and use less engaging music (or none at all). I often will do much of my practice with my eyes closed so I’m not distracted. With my eyes closed, I release my judgment. I begin to see with my third eye and intuition takes over. I hold my asanas for much longer than I would in a Vinyasa series. I teach Pratyahara this way as well. When we hold our bodies in pose for an extended time, our bodies release endorphins that help us feel empowered and alive. We gain an awareness that we can overcome discomfort (be it physical or emotional or mental.) We hear our mental chatter with clarity. Once we hear the negative things we tell ourselves (all lies, by the way,) we can clear them and make room for beautiful acceptance (the truth.) Our breath pushes away that which does not serve us and also brings us new tools and awareness for a better existence off the mat. Binding poses encourages us to surrender, to let go, and to let us be OF this world instead of IN this world. When all of these things come together, we find ourselves pulled out of our flesh until we exist as pure Prana (life force) that flows through all living things. We get out of ourselves to become our best selves. Release + Acceptance + Surrender = Pratyahara = Freedom Pratyahara is a practice. It doesn’t always come naturally or easily, but we are all capable of Pratyahara. Yoga, in all forms, is not a way of living: it is a way of being — within ourselves and without. Namaste cw Yoga Sol 300 St James Street
April 2010 25
Three Easy Steps to Make Tax Season Simple Next Year by christal n. spurgeon
tax season is drawing to a close, and if you thought this year was rough (or are still putting off filing), then you are probably wishing there was a better way. well, the good news is that there are ways to make your next tax season go better! Step 1: Don’t procrastinate. Procrastination is a common flaw in the majority of humanity (okay, so in some cases it's more of an art form). Why work hard now, when we are trying to relax after all of that headache? The reason is, so that we don’t have to spend so much on aspirin next year. Alright, so what can you do? One of the best tips is to maintain keeping your tax information together (this means doing your bookkeeping all year—not just at the end) and staying in touch with your accountant throughout the year. Your accountant spends a lot of time and effort on staying up-to-date with the latest tax law changes, and can help you make the most of your deductions if they know what you’ve done and what you want to accomplish. A great example, is the Haiti charitable donation tax law enacted early this spring—anyone who made a charitable donation to Haiti after January 11, 2010 and before March 1, 2010 was entitled to claim that donation on their 2009 return, even though they made the donation in 2010. Tax laws are abound with changes like this—it's not always straight forward. Steps 2: Organize, organize, organize! First, do yourself a favor if you don't have a filing cabinet, at least get one of those plastic totes that you can put hanging file folders in, and sort your paperwork. I will never forget the client who brought in one of those huge black garbage bags absolutely stuffed full of miscellaneous receipts and statements for several rental properties and small businesses all lumped together. Needless to say, that client did not enjoy their bookkeeping bill! To keep your bill down — and to keep your accountant from having an anxiety attack — please, please keep your paperwork organized — especially if you own a business! Use financial software, or a Dome® Book if you prefer paper, to keep your finances in order. If you think that financial software is too expensive, consider using one of the many free versions out there — my personal favorite freebies are Mint, the Quicken Online Personal Finance Software and QuickBooks SimpleStart, which is fantastic for small businesses.
Your accountant spends a lot of time and effort on staying up-to-date with the latest tax law changes, and can help you make the most of your deductions if they know what you’ve done and what you want to accomplish. What if you already have financial software, but you can’t seem to get it to work right? Take a class at your local career center or accountant’s office. A small fee to take a class can continuously save you money throughout the future through tax savings, budgeting assistance, and a little less aspirin. Household expenses, like your family’s medical and dental expenses, including health insurance, and charitable donations may be deductible. Many people miss out on this deduction because they don’t realize how much they’ve spent throughout the year on these items. It can really add up! Step 3: Relax. Now that you’ve stopped procrastinating, are keeping touch with your accountant, and gotten organized, you are ready to enjoy a nice, relaxing tax season. Enjoy your freedom, and tease your friends for their bad habits! cw CNS Accounting www.CNSaccounting.net
April 2010 27
ome was not built in a day... Its funny how th connect one ear and out other. However, since ou olumbia a new publication, many of those nd my heart. With each day a new learn wner can attest, each learning experience new questions. One realization that quick stincts and always proceed with integrity. oor advice, and while this has brought add urpose. The situation helped solidify our co elieve is right and true, and the rest will f ination and hard work!). On the other hand ence has surrounded our publication and xpand upon it. We believe Columbia Wom speak to the diverse population of wom ersonal success on their own terms. Our ev eader, your voice, as we invite you to share s. Our goal may not be to build the Roma We want to hear from YOU. What do you want to know about, read about? What matters to you? Send us your inspirations, suggestions, inquiries and ideas. Call, 573-999-0677, email, ColumbiaWoman@gmail.com or message us on Facebook.
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Family (Nuclear, blended, single-parent and everything in between) Travel (Local and farther afield)
Health & Wellness (Physical & mental)
he many quotes I've heard over the years g ur decision to embark on a mission to brin e quotes now resonate vibrantly in my hea ning experience, and as any new busine and subsequent lesson exposes a multitud kly became apparent to us was to trust ou y. We have been subject to a good deal ditional challenges, it has also served a gre ore beliefs and remind us to follow what w fall in to place (when combined with dete d, a wealth of wonderful support and expe we are so excited to share it with you an man, though in it's infancy, has the potenti men in Columbia; women looking to defin volution will be nurtured by the voice of th your feedback, ideas and experiences wi an Forum, but a place where a single voic rome was not built in a day...
Its funny how the many quotes I've heard over the years go in one ear and out other. However, since our decision to embark on a mission to bring Columbia a new publication, many of those quotes now resonate vibrantly in my head and my heart. With each day a new learning experience, and as any new business owner can attest, each learning experience and subsequent lesson exposes a multitude of new questions. One realization that quickly became apparent to us was to trust our instincts and always proceed with integrity. We have been subject to a good deal of poor advice, and while this has brought additional challenges, it has also served a great purpose. The situation helped solidify our core beliefs and remind us to follow what we believe is right and true, and the rest will fall in to place (when combined with determination and hard work!). On the other hand, a wealth of wonderful support and experience has surrounded our publication and we are so excited to share it with you and expand upon it. We believe Columbia Woman, though in it's infancy, has the potential to speak to the diverse population of women in Columbia; women looking to define personal success on their own terms. Our evolution will be nurtured by the voice of the reader, your voice, as we invite you to share your feedback, ideas and experiences with us. Our goal may not be to build the Roman Forum, but a place where a single voice can be heard as loudly. cw
April 2010â€ƒ 29
What’s in a job Home Sweet Restaurant text and photos by amanda long
“I need two baked most no
The hours are long and demanding, so much so that eight weeks after giving birth, Jenny returned to work, baby in tow. To now nine-year-old Abby, the restaurant is like a second home. This feeling is shared among many past and present employees, some of whom have worked for Jenny for ten years or more. One of Jenny’s favorite things about being a restaurant owner is the hiring process, albeit the high turn-over rate. She chuckles as she tells me, “I’ve been doing it for so long, that I can tell as soon as they walk through the door if it is going to work … or not.”
mush on the fly! Eightysix rot chick! Six-top in the pit!” fly what? How many where? Ah, the restaurant world; almost like a different planet with a culture and language all its own. Funny enough, two-thirds of all Americans speak or have spoken the restaurant language. Take Jenny Dubinski, for example, who was once a hostess in the same restaurant she now owns and operates. Although she has a degree in Secondary Education, she never became a teacher, at least not in the classroom sense. “I believe what I do here mirrors teaching in that I am impacting kids lives by giving them a safe place to be and a person they can trust and depend on. To some of my employees, this is their family.” In fact, she’s had many past employees return just to tell her so. According to the startling statistics, 90 percent of all restaurants fail in the first year. Jenny Dubinski has successfully owned and operated her own restaurant since 2001. Like many restaurateurs, Jenny climbed the proverbial ladder starting as a hostess while in college in 1986, working her way to server, then manager and eventually owner. So what are her secrets to success? “We try to keep the menu reasonably priced, stay current with the changing times and put out high-quality, consistent food,” she divulges. It also helps that her husband, Jason, is her business partner and kitchen manager. “We actually met here; he worked in the kitchen back when I was a manager,” she tells me smiling. 30
Being her own boss, Jenny says, provides her the freedom to make decisions without anyone looking over her shoulder. “But you have to be disciplined in making those decisions,” she says. “You have to be smart.” The love and devotion Jenny has for her work shows in her restaurant, known as “P-Fac” to its past and present employees, or The Pasta Factory located in the District on Broadway. cw The Pasta Factory 1020 E. Broadway, Ste. F Corner of Broadway and Hitt
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