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or obstacles into smaller, more manageable tasks and simply remembering to be kind to each other are key components to get through daily life. Years ago, my father gave me some good pieces of advice. If you are 80% happy 80% of the time, life is good. If you aren’t happy with your situation, only you can change it—change yourself and your surroundings will change too. When faced with conflict, he would often say, ask if is this going to be a big deal in two weeks time?— if so, do something about it, if not, let it go. Easier said than done—still words to live by— I’m still trying. Recently, marriage.about. com asked online readers to share their marriage wisdom/ advice they ever received. Some submissions included: “Communicate, respect for self and each other, trust, faith, laugh together not at each other, don’t go to bed angry or hurt, remember your vows, don’t ask what you are not ready and willing to accept and let go and remember that often time we don’t know we’re making a mistake unless we are told so speak up without being rude and hurtful.” —Antoinette 34 “My dad told me ‘try to outdo each other in kindness.’ I thought that was good advice. That way you are concentrating on the positive.” —tjmac66 “Get on your knees together every night and say the Lord’s Prayer. Even if you don’t go to sleep and may have something else to do. This assures

that most nights you will spend some time together before you go to sleep. If you are apart, do it over the phone.” —Michele “The best advice in my opinion is to live in a different town than your families when you get married. My hubby is in the Air Force and lucky for both of us, we moved across the country! We both grew up in negative environments and the space is a blessing! Now we appreciate talking to our families and they are far enough away where they can’t interfere and smother us with negativity. On another note, I believe the standard “don’t go to bed angry” is right as rain as well!” —GirlyGirl220 “My father always said that the secret of a happy marriage is a short tongue. Instead of saying the first thing that pops into your head to your spouse in a heated discussion, bite your tongue, and consider the consequences before proceeding. I have been married to the same man for 19 years, and I am lucky to have him. I know that biting my tongue helps me to weigh my words more carefully.” —Susan H. “The best marriage advice I received was from my grandmother: Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may wake up and give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%. I never thought of this before but it is so true.” —Meme Continued on next page

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The South Coast Insider / February 2010


The South Coast Insider - February 2010  

The South Coast Insider magazine - February 2010