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Family June 2010 Letter from the publisher Happy Father’s Day!
don’t know anyone who doesn’t love the month of June. It’s loaded with great weather and loads of happy celebrations. Lots of birthdays, graduations and of course Father’s Day, make it a month of utter bliss that if you’re a kid also says it’s the beginning of summer vacation. For us grown-ups as well as kids it’s the month of the longest daylight hours, roses, high birth rates, berries in season, open beaches, and Camp beginning. In our house, it’s my daughter’s birthday, my birthday, and this year, the month we’re going on vacation. (I aim to capitalize on those long days). She’s just finishing her freshman year at college and amazingly she still wants to travel with me. This month always makes me think about my father. He’s been gone for 26 years and yet I think of him more all the time. So much of who I am in life is because of him and because of my other father (my uncle) who also did a great deal in the way of parenting this gal who lost her birth mother in her life at the age of three. Fathers all around us are more and more taking on equal responsibility in the raising of their children. Many are opting to stay at home for their kid’s formative years, and we have a terrific profile this month on a Dad in Riverdale who has chosen such a path. There is also a focus this month on Special Needs issues and on some of the services in our communities that provide much needed education and therapies. Soon our magazines New York Special Child and Long Island Special Child will be out for the spring/summer issue and you can contact us for distribution at email@example.com or call us at 718 260-8336. Happy Graduation! Happy Father’s Day! Happy Birthday to all you fellow Gemini/Cancer creative spirits. Happy Summer everyone! Don’t forget to fan us on FACEBOOK! Thanks for reading.
columns 2 Newbie Dad By Brian Kantz by Christine M. Palumbo, RD
6 Family Health
8 Dad stays home
Fathers who choose to make kids their primary job By Tiziana Rinaldi
10 Dumpin’ the bingo wings!
Finding an exercise regime to tackle my upper arms By Kathy Sena
12 LI’s best museums for kids
For a great day out, discover one of these treasures By Mary Carroll Wininger
16 Debunking the suburban myth Uncovering the truth about Stepford
by Ivan Hand, MD, FAAP
14 Lions and Tigers and Teens Myrna Beth Haskell
18 Cinematters by Laura Gray
20 Growing Up Online by Carolyn Jabs
28 Parents Helping Parents by Sharon C. Peters
48 New & Noteworthy
By Risa C. Doherty
The hottest new products
24 The balancing act
Some advice on caring for a child with ADHD By elaine lerner, mswm csw
calender of events 34 Going Places
30 Autism economics
Financial planning for families with special needs By Jeffrey R. Silverman
Take the family out and find out what’s going on in your town
32 Down syndrome families connect special section Support for parents with special needs children By Mary Carroll Wininger
24 Focus on Special Needs
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June 2010 • QUEENS Family 1
Father’s Day is the new Mother’s Day
NEWBIE DAD BRIAN KANTZ
2 QUEENS Family • June 2010
ogically, I’ve chosen to write about Father’s Day for this month’s column. I’m a father. Father’s Day is Sunday, June 20. Makes perfect sense. Illogically — it may seem at first glance — I’ve chosen to headline this column with what could be taken as a divisive statement. I fully realize that moms make up the majority of the readership of this magazine and I can hear the reaction now … “Father’s Day is the new Mother’s Day! What kind of a jerk wrote that! He’s trying to take Mother’s Day away from us!” But wait. Just wait. Hear me out. I’m not trying to take anything away from moms. I sincerely hope that every mom out there was treated like royalty for at least one day last month. I hope that your significant other pampered you with breakfast in bed and showered you with flowers. I hope that your kids drew wonderful crayon portraits of you with the words “I LOVE YOU, MOM” scrawled across the top of the page. I hope that you felt truly appreciated. I hope that you felt the love. It’s just that things are changing for families across America — in particular, fathers are more actively involved in the day-to-day care of their kids than ever before — and I have a feeling that dads are going to start to feel the love, too. So, goodbye cliché present (necktie, mug, grilling apron), hello heartfelt appreciation. The Daddy Shift: How Stay-atHome Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting are Transforming the American Family (Beacon Press, 2009) is a wonderful and important book by journalist Jeremy Adam Smith. You should check it out. It details the way fatherhood is being redefined in our country. Smith argues that changes in attitudes and economics over the past 40 years or so have altered what American society expects of a father and what a father expects of himself. The result is that our country is a pretty progressive place for dudes today.
Smith goes straight to the source — his own father — for some historical perspective. His old man told him that in the late 1960s and early 1970s, “the idea that a mother could have a career and be a mom was the radical thought of the time. The thought that dad would stay home was not considered. If it was, nobody told me, and the thought never entered my head.” In other words, the prevailing attitude in this country had been that men work and women stay home to raise the children. Most people couldn’t even envision a different way of doing things. Now, of course, all of that has changed. In the 1960s woman began fighting for the option to work, stay home to raise children, or do both. For American men, gaining “options” — like the option to stay home as the primary caregiver to their children — came later and more subtly. Smith writes that “in the early 1980s, signs appeared that younger men and women were open to the possibility of a reverse-traditional arrangement, with female breadwinners and male caregivers. This momentous cultural change did not, of course, happen all at once. There was no epochal thunderclap and no storming of the Bastille — just an
accumulation of decisions made by ordinary fathers and mothers who only wanted what was best for their kids and themselves.” Economics have played a large part in driving this attitude shift. Smith notes that in the 1950s, women made half as much as men for the same work. Today, women make about 80 percent as much as men. It’s still not fair, but it is significant enough of a gain to make the notion of “mom as the primary breadwinner” viable. That notion is also buoyed by the fact that women are now just as likely as men to have completed college and to hold an advanced degree. In turn, today’s open-minded American man is pretty OK with all of this. A 2007 poll by Monster.com found that 68 percent of American men would consider staying home full-time with their kids. That means that nearly seven out of 10 guys are willing to consider taking on the dayto-day, nitty-gritty care of their children. I’m talking tenderly diapering and feeding babies, lovingly tending to the scraped knees of preschoolers, and devotedly counseling confused teenagers. Those kinds of moments, those intimate interactions, are the reason why children have such a special bond with their mothers — and why we send them heartfelt gifts for Mother’s Day. Increasingly, dads want in on that action. Fathers will never, ever take the place of mothers. Don’t worry about that. But men are spending more time with their children than ever before (both as stay-at-home dads and super-involved working fathers) and, on Father’s Day, they will receive those heartfelt gifts — not because they want or need the accolades, but because their children will want to say thanks. Brian Kantz never thought of himself as a revolutionary figure before, but he thanks author Jeremy Adam Smith for pointing it out. Visit Brian online at www.briankantz.com or drop him a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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nosotros ponemos su salud primero
When daddy cooks
Sometimes the father is in charge of the menu
L GOOD SENSE EATING CHRISTINE M. PALUMBO, RD
ike many contemporary fathers, Kirk Christensen not only brings home the figurative bacon, but cooks it, too. The suburban Chicago father of two enjoys cooking whenever he can, although it’s often limited to grilling outside on the weekends. Much has been written about mothers’ influence on their children’s eating styles, but what about the dads? Studies suggest that fathers have a major influence on their children’s eating habits and nutritional status. While mothers traditionally had the primary responsibility for shopping and cooking, fathers are increasingly pulling their own weight. In a 2008 study published by the Journal for Specialists in Pediatric Nursing, 65 percent of dads said meal preparation and shopping was done by mothers or shared equally between the mothers and fathers. Twenty four percent of the dads reported that the meal preparations were their primary responsibility and 14 percent share the chore equally with their wives. In the same study, 24 percent of dads had the primary grocery shopping responsibilities for their families. Parenting style can also impact nutrition status. In a 2006 study in
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4 QUEENS Family • June 2010
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Q: I’m a single dad with child custody on the weekends. How can I feed my children well? A: If your children are old enough, they can help you draw up plans for the weekend meals. Take them to the grocery store, then share in some simple meal prep. Doing things together can be fun and you’ll be teaching them valuable life skills.
Obesity, fathers influenced their daughters’ weight. Those with highly controlling fathers had a higher percentage of body fat.
Dads as role models
Chicago area dietitian David Grotto, president of Nutrition Housecall, LLC, says dads play a special role in their children’s eating habit formation. Dads may not always be cooking up a storm or take main responsibility for the grocery shopping, but they can serve as a positive role model for their children when it comes to eating right. Yet, according to the USDA, the majority of fathers fall short in their fruit and vegetable eating. Why? It’s not the cost, but because they don’t care for them. Grotto, who has three tween daughters, suggests fathers praise mom’s cooking and eat it with a smile. He notes, “If dad won’t eat it, the kids might not either.” Grotto points to ways dads can model enjoying meals in just the right amounts. “Slow and steady wins the race. Assuring kids that there is plenty of food to go around and they won’t ‘starve to death’ when eating slowly, is a great life-long lesson.” He adds
that fathers can also send a strong message about eating until you are just about full – but not uncomfortable. In some households, Mom stresses the nutrition and Dad reluctantly goes along with it. This is somewhat true in the Christensen household. Kirk relates that, at times, his wife sneaks healthy veggies, such as zucchini, into sauces. “I’ll give her the eye as if to ask, ‘This is a squash sauce, isn’t it?’”
When dad’s in charge
If dads don’t cook and they are “home alone” charged with feeding the brood, they often turn to less than stellar options. Grotto suggests these tips for cooking-challenged fathers: Bust out some tortillas, pasta sauce and cheese to make quick and simple pizzas in the toaster oven. Show children how to enjoy food in its simplest form. Slice up some apples and cheese, toast some hearty whole grain bread and serve with hummus or a drizzle of olive oil. Eating behaviors and food choices established in childhood often significantly track into adulthood. We cannot underestimate the roles of fathers on their child’s current and future eating habits. Christine M. Palumbo is a Naperville, Illinois-based dietitian and mother of three. She loves it when her husband cooks, but positively swoons when he cleans up afterward. She can be reached at (630) 3698495 or Chris@ChristinePalumbo.com.
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Kids & sun exposure FAMILY HEALTH IVAN HAND, MD, FAAP Director of Neonatology Queens Hospital Center
ith the warm weather and long summer days upon us, it is important to remember to protect your child’s skin from overexposure to the sun. Overexposure to sunlight in childhood can lead to skin damage such as wrinkling, scarring and cancer later in life. Although many of us only think about sun exposure when going to the beach on a clear summer day, protection from the sun is important every day. The sun’s rays are composed of both visible and invisible rays of light. It is the invisible ultraviolet rays that cause skin damage and burning. These rays are present even on cloudy days when the sun isn’t “shining.”
Under 6 months:
The most important recommendation is to avoid direct sun exposure, and dress infants in lightweight long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and brimmed hats that shade the neck to prevent sunburn. If exposure to the sun is unavoidable, parents can apply a minimal amount of suncreen with at least 15 SPF (sun protection factor) to small areas, such as the infant’s face and the back of the hands. The sunscreen should be made for children and be fragrance-free if possible.
For older children:
Apply sunscreen at least 30 minutes before going outside, and use sunscreen even on cloudy days. The sunscreen should be made for children with an SPF of at least 15 and protect against UVA and UVB rays. Higher SPF’s (above 30) can be used in high exposure areas such as the face and hands. The best defense against the sun is covering up. Wear a hat with a three-inch brim or a bill facing forward, and cotton clothing with a tight weave. Sunglasses should be worn whenever outside and should state that they block 99-100% of ultraviolet rays or meet ANSI UV requirements. Toy sunglasses without these labels may not effectively block all of the UV rays from your child’s eyes. 6 QUEENS Family • June 2010
Stay in the shade whenever possible, and limit sun exposure during the peak intensity hours — between 10 am and 4 pm. Be sure to apply enough sunscreen - about one ounce per sitting for a young adult. Reapply sunscreen every two hours, or after swimming or sweating, even if they claim to be waterproof. Use extra caution near water, snow, concrete and sand as they reflect UV rays and may result in sunburn more quickly.
If your child develops a sunburn after exposure, apply cool com-
presses to the affected area. Acetaminophen can be given in the appropriate dose to ease some of the pain. If the sunburn causes blisters or if your child is feeling very ill with fever, chills or vomiting, call your pediatrician. Sunburn can cause a serious burn that may need professional treatment and could lead to dehydration. Summertime is a wonderful time for children and families. A few minutes of prevention will make you and your child more comfortable, and prevent serious long term consequences of overexposure.
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www.straightenwithbraces.com June 2010 • QUEENS Family 7
Dad stays home Fathers who choose to make their kids their primary job
8 QUEENS Family • June 2010
BY TIZIANA RINALDI
imes have changed, mentalities have evolved and so has the way we care for our children. And if families don’t mind adding a little roughhousing to the kids’ daily activities, they can discover how quickly dads can morph into great caretakers.
When Father’s Day comes around this month, Riverdale dad Michael Berlin will be basking in that recognition along with a growing number of stay-home fathers (159,000 according to 2007 U.S. Census Bureau figures), who cherish their role all over the country. “Once you get over the mentality of ‘earning that paycheck’,” said Berlin who lost his job at Time Warner during the 2008 economic down-
turn, “and you realize that taking care of them is the best for your kids, you can choose what’s important.” Happenstance sparked self-reflection, and the former manager of a desktop support team found himself considering a different kind of transition. Already sharing an equal parenting lifestyle with wife Donna, an ESL teacher in the Ardsley school district, but facing one of the worst job markets in the history of the country, Berlin soon grasped the benefits of postponing his career choices and becoming a full time dad. “You just jump in and do it,” he said of how he learned to take care of Julia and Brendan, his 28-month-old daughter and 8-month-old son, respectively. But, most importantly, that’s how he always approached his role, especially since both children arrived via C-section and their mom needed time to recover. “The biggest hurdle, if this is new to a father, is getting over the mental block of doing the activities. The fear of it,” he added. “Once you jump into it, any dad or any man can do it.” Now raising his kids fulltime, the young father has his hands full. Between meals, baths, naps, diaper changes, doctors’ appointments, Julia’s parent-toddler classes every Tuesday and Thursday, and the daily enrichment activities, there’s isn’t much time for respite. “It definitely has its challenges, especially with the two of them being so young, and so close in age,” said the stay-home-dad of the hectic pace of the day, the unknowns of young tempers, his daughter’s desire for dad’s attention and the sudden nature of kids’ little health afflictions. Berlin, though, remains fully aware of his opportunity. “It’s very fulfilling. You cannot ask for more than seeing their daily progress.” Already appreciating the good fortune he has had to witness his little girl taking her first steps, and transforming
PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! Bronx dad Michael Berlin became a stay-at-home dad after losing his job.
from a bubbling baby into a laughing, talking and engaging toddler. He also knows that he “won’t be out of the workforce forever,” which gives him more of a reason to reap the privilege of setting his own agenda. “They’re my ‘bosses”, said Berlin smiling and looking at the kids, “but, I am also my own boss. I can do what I need to do!” It’s nice not having to get up every morning to wear suit and tie and face the daily commute, he explained. Even better, on a beautiful day it feels great going to the park for a few hours to enjoy nature, take the kids to feed the ducks or hang out at the playground. Still, for all its advantages, it took courage to “break the mold” and choose to build the life Berlin envisioned for himself and his family, away from old-fashioned gender definitions and rigid societal expectations.
“Donna is my No. 1 supporter,” said the Bronx dad, who credits his wife for leading the charge and making it easy to stay at home. She shares the load when she comes back from work, and pushes the husband to recharge his batteries. “I can see a number of wives saying ’what are you doing, you need to go back to the workforce’, but she really understood the importance for [our kids] to be with one of their parents.” The ability not to let stereotypes define their attitudes was present for both of these parents, continued Berlin, since his wife did not fall for the “super-mom” image either, or the “do-it-all” wife and career woman. Then, there is the cultural conditioning that men ought to be the breadwinners. “It is for every father and husband to work it out in their own way”, shared the stay-home-dad. “I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I know this is my choice.” On Father’s Day, Berlin suggests that working fathers should be mindful of how much effort is put in, and how much value is created, by the stay-home parent, while his advice for those who are thinking of staying home is “Do it! You won’t regret it.” Children are only little once. You can go back to work at any point after that.”
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Dumpin’ the bingo wings! Finding an exercise regime to tackle those upper arms BY KATHY SENA
om, you’re flappin’ your bingo wings!” Little did I know, when my teenage son said that, that he was talking about that lovely bit of wiggly flab on the back of each arm. Bingo wings? Me? I took a good look in the mirror and started thinking about the last time I did any real upper-body exercise. Did carrying groceries count? Marginally. How about hauling that
I didn’t start seriously pumping iron. I just started doing exercises with light hand weights while I watched TV.
10 QUEENS Family • June 2010
stuffed laundry basket up and down the stairs every day? I could claim brownie points, I suppose, but it sure wasn’t causing me to develop Michelle Obama arms. (How hard must the First Lady work out to have those fabulous arms? I’m impressed. If I had arms like that, I’d wear short sleeves every day.) Sadly, neither of my “activities” was enough to banish the flabby flesh with the funny name. And then my doctor recommended a bone-density test, and the results came back showing that, while I wasn’t a candidate for osteoporosis, my numbers could be a
bit better. So in adThat got me thinkdition to my regular ing about a trip we walking, I decided took to Yosemite Nait was time to add a tional Park over the few hand weights to holidays last year. my exercise plan to While my husband pump up my upperand son were skibody strength and ing, I took long walks give those bones a through the Yosemite workout, too. Valley, enjoying the Part 4 of a series That’s me in the solitude, the chance photo, sans makeup to get away from parand doing a little dumbbell action. enting responsibilities, and enjoy the (There’s something about lifting magnificent view. weights that makes the good Did it feel like I was exercising? old chin fat seem to just pop Not really. In fact, I didn’t even think out, making for a brutally about “working out” the whole time honest — but not terribly flat- I was there. But I ended up walking tering — photo! Next goal: miles each day, and feeling healthy lose the chin fat. I have a — and tired in a good way — at the feeling that will come with end of each day. more weight loss. I’m not sure That’s the approach I want to there are many “chin” exer- take to upper-body strength, too. cises I can do — except that Of course, with hand weights, I can’t well-known push-away-from- exactly tell myself I’m not exercising. the-table exercise, which will But I want to incorporate it into my result in less chewing…) day in a way that makes it part of No, I didn’t start seriously something fun — like watching the pumping iron. I just started women of “The View” argue about doing exercises with light who-knows-what. hand weights, bought at OK, it’s that time. The monthly Target, while I watched TV. weigh-in. Apparently slow and steady Heck, if I was going to sit wins the race! on my couch while watching Weigh-in #1: 147.0 (my starting weight) “Ellen,” why not get up and Weigh-in #2: 144.6 (lost 2.4 pounds total) do some stretches, maybe Weigh-in #3: 139.0 (lost 8 pounds total) march in place a little bit, and Weigh-in #4: 135.6 (lost 11.4 pounds total) use some hand weights while The weight isn’t peeling off at light being entertained? (And Ellen speed. But it’s coming off at a rate loves to dance around the studio at that allows me to go out to dinner the beginning of the show — more with my family now and then, have a motivation!) piece of chocolate (not a huge bar!) In her book, “Small Changes, Big when a craving hits and not feel like Results,” registered dietitian Ellie I’m starving myself. Krieger talks about making exercise This is a plan I can live with: Moda lifestyle. “Think about it,” she says. erate increases in exercise. Moder“You spend only a small portion of ate changes in my eating habits. And time actually exercising. Even if you hey, I’m down 11.4 pounds of fat that work out for an hour a day, the other I plan to never see again! Kathy Sena is a freelance journalist 23 hours a day are spent working, eating, sleeping and performing all specializing in family-health issues. Her writing has appeared in the Los Angeles the other activities of daily life.” By becoming more active during Times, Newsweek, Woman’s Day and those 23 hours, you increase your fit- many other publications. Visit her parness level and improve health with- enting blog, Parent Talk Today, at www. out even thinking about it, she adds. parenttalktoday.com.
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June 2010 • QUEENS Family 11
Long Island’s best museums for kids For a great day out, discover one of these treasures
BY MARY CARROLL WININGER
hese days many families are looking for a way to spend meaningful time together without spending a fortune. Traditional family outings like amusement parks or movies can cost as much as a week’s worth of groceries, and don’t provide the opportunity to reconnect, thanks to endless lines and multi-decibel sound effects. The wonderful thing about Long Island is that cheaper, smarter, and more substantive family entertainment is abundant. This summer, museums of Long Island showcase a breadth of cultural opportunities for local families, including exhibits dedicated to turtles, windmills, WWII fighter planes, and
Some more suggestions For further research, here are three more Long Island area museums worth exploring.
Southold Indian Museum 1080 Main Bayview Road Southold, NY 11971 (631) 765-5577 www.southoldindianmuseum.org HOURS: Open Sundays 1:30-4:30pm and by appointment, also open Saturdays 1:30-4:30pm in July and August, closed major holidays COST: $2 for adults, 50 cents for children This non-profit organization houses an impressive collection of Algonquin pottery and arrowheads.
Nassau County Police Museum 1490 Franklin Avenue Mineola, NY 11501 12 QUEENS Family • June 2010
(an electrical outlet encumbered by too many plugs and an uncovered pot among them). Young visitors have proven to be observant. “It was awesome when [they] showed us what a burned wall looks like,” says Alexa, 8, of East Meadow. The Francis X. Pendl Nassau County Firefighters Museum, 1 Davis Avenue, Garden City, NY 11530, (516) 572-4177, www.ncfiremuseum.org, Hours: Tues. – Sun. 10 am–5 pm, Cost: $4 Adults, $3.50 Children.
(516) 573-7620 www.policeny.com/ncpdm2005.html HOURS: Open year-round, call for appointment. COST: Call for cost. Vintage handcuffs, batons, and motorcycles on display show how cops in Nassau County used to serve and protect.
Custer Institute 1115 Main Bayview Road Southold, NY 11971 (631) 765-2626 www.custerobservatory.org HOURS: Open every Saturday from dusk until 12am. COST: $5 adults, $3 children under 14 Be stargazers this season at an observatory on the North Shore where visitors receive guided tours of the night sky, followed by refreshments.
Kids learn about insects at the Long Island Science Center. shipwrecks. And while it’s nice to know that the educational institutions of the big city are nearby, attending local museums means you don’t have to endure traffic on the L.I.E. in the name of cultural expansion.
History of heroes
Not long ago, Frank Pendl, a Nassau county fire academy instructor, began amassing a collection of antique and modern-day firefighter memorabilia, which he displayed in the academy’s lobby. The collection eventually became so massive it threatened to overtake the space. That’s when a local fire marshal, Andy Stienmuller, and legions of area firefighters raised enough money to open a new home for the collection: the Nassau County Firefighters Museum. Today, it’s a hands-on, 10,000square-foot showcase featuring a gooseneck hand-drawn and operated waterpump dating back to 1832, which belonged to one of the first fire departments in Nassau County. The museum also functions as an interactive gallery where families can learn about fire safety. Kids can walk through a cartoonishly exaggerated house and spot fire hazards
Creatures of the deep
If your child is less likely to bring home a stray puppy and more inclined to take in a box turtle or common garden snake, the Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery & Aquarium will be their new favorite place. Back in 1883, the aquarium got its start as a state-run trout-rearing facility. It only recently evolved into a center designed to educate the public about freshwater ecosystems. Today, it boasts the largest living collection of New York State-native fish, reptiles, and amphibians in the Northeast, with two aquarium buildings and eight outdoor ponds. Exhibits include the Hatch House, where visitors can observe trout eggs hatching and baby trout growing; and the Catch and Keep Trout Fishing program, where kids 3 and up can go fishing with their families. Children can also meet Tiny, the resident 78-pound Common Snapping Turtle. It’s just the thing for your budding ichthyologist. Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery & Aquarium, 1660 Route 25A, Cold Spring Harbor, NY 11724, (516) 692-6768, www. cshfha.org, Hours: Open daily 10 am–5 pm, open Sat and Sun 10 am–6 pm from June – August, Closed Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and Easter Sunday, Cost: $6 adults, $4 children ages 3-12, free for age 2 and under.
Science is fun
As any parent knows, kids are naturally curious. To answer some of these questions, take them to the Long Island Science Center in Riverhead and all will be explained. An interactive museum dedicated to fostering a love of math, science and technology in young people; the Science Center features a variety of exhibits for children of all ages, such as creating enormous bubbles to learn about the concept of surface tension or reading a forecast of the weather to understand patterns in meteorology. Recent exhibits have explored dusting for fingerprints and how magnets work. The Long Island Science Center, 11 West Main St., Riverhead, NY 11901, (631) 208-8000, www.lisciencecenter. org, Hours: All year, Mon. – Fri. 10 am–2 pm, Sun. 11 am–4 pm, from July 9 – Aug 24, Wed. – Sun. 11 am–4pm, Cost: Children $5, Adults $2.
A visit to the American Airpower Museum will help bring Grandpa’s stories of aerial combat missions to life. Formerly a home to Republic Aviation, manufacturer of more than 9,000 World War II fighter planes, this museum today displays preserved vintage aircrafts in the original hangar where they were readied for war. The best part is the planes are not dusty relics, but fully-operational artifacts. Weather permitting, entire squadrons give flying demonstrations on a weekly basis. Members of the museum can pay $300 to suit up and ride shotgun inside the planes, reenacting military maneuvers over
the eastern tip of the island. The goal of this institution is not to dazzle audiences with gleaming instruments of war, but to give younger visitors an idea of what was required during some of America’s toughest days. The American Airpower Museum, 1230 New Highway, Farmingdale, NY 11735, (631) 293-6398, www.americanairpowermuseum.com, Hours: Thurs. –Sun. 10:30 am–4 pm, Cost: $10 adults, $6 seniors, $5 children.
For those who dream of pirates, the Long Island Maritime Museum offers a comprehensive history lesson into the island’s seafaring and shipwrecked past. Originally the summer estate of a Singer Sewing Machine Company heiress, the museum today provides a look back at the boat-building traditions and related industries which were once such a part of Long Island’s livelihood. On hand is a treasure trove of locally-crafted sailing vessels, each with its own story to tell: the original Fire Island ferry – back then, powered by sails; a 121-year-old sailing dredge vessel named Priscilla; and a boat which bears the name Abe Lincoln, handcrafted by a freed slave. Also on display is an original (and the last working) oyster culling house dating back to 1890, with piles of cracked-open oyster shells littering the floor, and names carved in the rafters by the young men who worked there. Long Island Maritime Museum, 86 West Ave., West Sayville, NY 11796, (631) HISTORY, www.limaritime.org,
Hours: Mon. – Sat. 10 am–4 pm, Sun. 12 pm–4 pm, open year-round except New Year’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving Day, and Christmas. Cost: Adults $4, Children $2 ages 3-17.
Visitors watch a squadron of vintage aircraft fly in formation at the American Airpower Museum.
Exhibits at the Children’s Museum of the East End cover a range of interests and include a little bit of everything. Kids learn how potatoes become potato chips and how windmills contribute to agriculture. Children are also able to dabble in mediums like finger painting and clay sculpture in the drop-in art room, wear period costumes in a turn-of-the-century recreation of a general store, and read books by local authors in a library shaped like an upside-down book. Temporary events have included tea parties where girls are encouraged to dress up like mermaids, and puppet shows in the museum’s amphitheatre where families are encouraged to picnic. Rotating classes have included lessons in cookie decorating. Children’s Museum of the East End, 376 Bridgehampton/Sag Harbor Turnpike, Bridgehampton, NY 11932, 631.537.8250, www.cmee.org, Hours: Mon. – Sat. 9 am–5 pm, Sun. 10 am–5 pm, Only open Tuesdays from June 30Sept 1. Cost: General admission $7, children under 1 year old are free.
Tiny is the 78-pound common snapping turtle that cheerfully greets all visitors to the Cold Spring Harbor Fish Hatchery & Aquarium.
June 2010 • QUEENS Family 13
The dreaded curfew Does your teen need one? So how do you enforce it?
LIONS AND TIGERS AND TEENS MYRNA BETH HASKELL
grew up in a house at the bottom of a hill. This was a good thing. If I was past curfew, I’d turn off the headlights and engine, then glide down the hill, into the driveway…steadily… into park. The doors weren’t as accommodating, however. The squeaking always woke up Mom, who was inevitably perched on the couch watching late night TV. I swear my parents never greased those hinges to catch me. Does your teen give you a hard time about the tabs you keep on him? Are you considered a member of the curfew police in your household? Rather than thinking of curfews as steadfast rules, try to think of them as malleable guidelines – or rules that can change depending on your teen’s age and special circumstances.
Is it necessary?
Some parents believe their teens don’t need curfews because they are trustworthy. Others believe in enforcing strict curfews no matter what the circumstance. Susan Kuczmarski, Ed.D., author of The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent’s Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go (Book Ends Publishing, 2004), explains, “We want to nurture creative, independent teens, but also create a family culture where everyone is respected. Setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries helps to protect each family member’s dignity (and sanity) and to preserve reasonable harmony in your home.” There are many different parenting styles, and all parents have their own comfort zone. Kuczmarski says, “Family systems can be closed or open. In a closed system, children are given orders, threats, and warnings by their parents. In a totally open family, teens are allowed to do what they want. The first approach puts teens on a short leash, while the second puts them on one that is too long. The ideal system is somewhere in between.”
There is no hard and fast rule to follow. Parents should consider their teen’s history - how well she has followed rules, and whether or not she
14 QUEENS Family • June 2010
has been able to avoid trouble. Discuss your reasons for setting a curfew. What if there was an accident or she needed your help? You wouldn’t know to be concerned if you weren’t expecting her. Work out a reasonable curfew together. Your teen will be more likely to abide by it and take ownership of it. Kuczmarski comments, “Teens hate fixed, out-of-date, and inhuman rules with a passion. Teens need enough direction and control to guide them, yet enough room to breathe, learn, and grow. There must be a balance between structure and flexibility. Curfews can accomplish this balance - especially if teens are involved in setting them up with their parents.” Explain that abiding by curfews builds trust and demonstrates maturity, so she will be rewarded for this. Kuczmarski suggests, “As your teen gets older, the arrival hour can be negotiated toward an increasingly later time.”
Consequences for breaking curfew
If your teen has had input with setting curfews, hopefully he won’t break them. If he does, there needs to be a set of consequences. It’s important to discuss the consequences ahead of time. Kuczmarski says, “When he is late, give him the freedom and opportunity to explain. Maybe there were unplanned events, like a flat tire or a surprise party. If your teen continues to break the curfew rule, let the agreed-upon consequences fall into place. If your teen has missed curfew because drinking or drugs were involved, then the consequences should be more serious.”
Tips and tales
“I always tell them to set the alarm on their cell phone 30 minutes be-
fore curfew. That gives them time to say their goodbyes and they still won’t be late.” Lisa DeLisio, Woodstock, NY “The key with curfews is to work with expectations and behaviors long before the curfew becomes an issue. When it does, there is a perfect opportunity for discussion that involves them in the decision-making process. I believe that involvement also decreases tensions and increases adherence to the agreedupon time.” James B. Childs, Kingston, NY
Share your ideas
Upcoming topic: Your teen’s permit: How to stay calm in the passenger seat Please send your full name, address, and brief comments to: myrnahaskell@ gmail.com or visit: home.roadrunner. com/~haskellfamily/myrna/
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Debunking the Uncovering the truth about Stepford
16 QUEENS Family • June 2010
BY RISA C. DOHERTY
oving from within the city limits to the suburbs is a big change. For many Queens residents it can mean the move from an apartment to a house. Many lifelong apartment dwellers, in areas like Forest Hills, are accustomed to landlords pumping up the heat so high that the balmy indoor temperatures bring to mind a Maui luau. On the coldest of winter days, these apartment residents rely on their window fans to relieve the heat from radiators that can only be described as possessed: continuing to generate heat even after being turned off. When these young families make the move to a private home, with normal indoor temperatures, they feel like they have finally left the tropics. Of course, there is a virtue to having a superintendent in your apartment building. When something breaks, he comes and fixes it. Once you move out to the wilderness of Long Island, Westchester or New Jersey, when something breaks, you either crack open the phone book or call your neighbors for references. Hence, you add a new serviceman to the roster, which includes the air conditioning guy, the roofer, the chimney guy, the alarm guy, the lawn guy, the tree-trimming guy, the landscaping guy, the tree doctor, the exterminator, the sprinkler company, the plumber, the heating oil company, the furnace man, the termite exterminator, et al. When there are three or more service providers scheduled for any single day, I almost feel like breaking out the hors d’oeuvres. If you grew up in an apartment along Queens Boulevard, you are familiar with the seismic sensation caused by the E, F and what used to be the G, subway lines, running underground. You barely notice it after a few years, happy that the furniture does not migrate across the room with the arrival and departure of the express train, much like an episode
No fewer than five mothers in my area drive the exact same SUV, and my daughter always tries to get into the wrong one. of I Love Lucy. Still, the uninitiated feel the apartment vibrating and may tactfully ask why the building is shaking, guessing that we hit a three on the Richter scale. If you ever hear a siren in suburbia, you will probably run right outside, to see which neighbor’s house is on fire. Back in “the old neighborhood” one does not even bother peering out the window to see what is going on, because one would hear sirens go by several times per hour. I remember one evening when part of my apartment building was on fire. We paid no attention to the multiple sirens and only bothered to look outside once we were disturbed by the lights from the five fire engines parked directly under our windows. Many parents think that one of the best reasons to buy a house is so that each of the children can have their own bedroom. Yet, the truth be told, many of the children, used to the company of their siblings choose to continue to share a room and leave the other bedroom vacant. In addition, all the new landowners vow to host their children’s parties in their new homes. They now have enough space to accommodate 25 to 30 of their children’s closest friends. Ironically, the moment the deed changes hands there is often a sudden change of heart and the new homeowner suddenly deems it unthinkable to permit a pack of miniature mobsters to descend on her pristine palace. As soon as the realization would dawn, she would hurriedly familiarize herself with
every commercial party establishment within a thirty-mile radius. I have noticed over the years that small suburban communities maintain an unwritten law with respect to pedestrian activity, i.e. people are not permitted to walk anywhere a car can access, with two exceptions, power walking in pairs or walking a dog. A resident just does not set out on foot merely to reach a destination. Newcomers to suburbia quickly learn that lawbreaking pedestrians must endure the insufferable stares of long-time residents, when they deign to leave their abode sans vehicle. Suburbia is quite inviting to the uninitiated urbanite, who might enjoy a quiet stroll to the store. After all, with its lush green rolling hills, majestic trees and wonderful fresh air, it should be a pedestrian paradise. In many areas, residents refuse to install sidewalks to discourage such foolish behavior. But, the newcomers quickly catch on and can be seen driving in and out of adjacent strip malls with ease. For the most part, apartment dwellers have no clue when their garbage is carted off. Needless to say, uninitiated former urbanites must soon face the new complexities of trash removal. The former citydwellers I know never expected that they would be crossing the days off on their calendar in desperate anticipation of the next trash removal day. Mondays are for kitchen garbage only, Wednesdays are for kitchen garbage in back and cartons and boxes in front, and Fridays are for kitchen garbage in back and bottle recycling or newspaper pick-up in front: check your schedule. It was so much easier to just walk down the hall to the incinerator room (which used to have a chute leading to an actual fire-burning incinerator) and dump your garbage down, whenever you pleased. The limits on suburban trash removal seem to have had a deleterious effect on some of my friends’
suburban myth other idyllic lifestyles. I listened with amazement as one friend clapped with joy at an invitation to her inlaw’s house, within the New York City limits. It seems as if each trip into the Big Apple is a new opportunity to unload excess trash. They approach the city limits with delight, their trunk filled to the brim with large green trash bags. One tool of suburban life that is undervalued by many apartmentdwelling city slickers is the snow shovel. Each of the seemingly 400 times that it snowed this winter, apartment dwellers in Queens must have reveled in the knowledge that snow removal was someone else’s problem, secretly amused by the aggravation that some haughty new landed gentry had to face. They must feel lucky that they do not have to sit glued to the weather channel, dreading any bursts of color that might appear on the local radar. Even worse, in a way, are the homeowners paying for snow removal for each and every storm, in a snowy winter. For the most part, city residents prefer not to drive in seriously inclement weather. Suburbanites, on the other hand are undaunted by inclement weather. No matter how much snow is coming down, they board their four-wheel drive vehicles and steer their vehicles down their long driveways, leaving tire tracks in the newly fallen snow. It is inconceivable that they would allow their child, at any age, to walk in such conditions (see earlier pedestrian rules). When I first moved to the suburbs I would sit at my window in amazement and watch the SUVs and minivans exit their driveways in synchronized motion, under treacherous conditions. Suburban moms can be found shopping in the local overpriced
gourmet market, with their matching boots and designer handbags, lapsed professionals with flawless manicures. At the designated time, they all make a mad dash for the register, so they can rush to the parking lot to their SUVs and reach the schools before they are summoned by cell phone by their demanding progeny. There are no fewer than five mothers in my immediate area who drive the exact same make, model and color SUV, and my daughter keeps trying to get into the other cars, never sure which one is ours. Then there is the “myth of the manageable commute,” which is perpetuated by most suburbanites. They claim that commuting to Manhattan is a quick and pleasurable experience. Unable to compete with the 25-minute express train ride or
the 20-minute express bus record, they talk in terms of “travel time to the city.” This surprisingly only includes the time on the actual train, not the time to and from the train on either end. Residents of western Nassau County commute almost an hour and a half to go 19 miles to midtown Manhattan. Some claim to utilize the ride time to do work or socialize with fellow commuters and even play cards on the train. They forget to mention the delays and cancellations, which are not uncommon on the LIRR, Metro North and NJ Transit lines. So, there you have it: the truth about suburban life. Theoretically, the house with the white picket fence in the suburbs is the American dream. I guess it comes with a catch or two, like everything else. June 2010 • QUEENS Family 17
Girl learns to play by her own rules Alice in Wonderland
ust like his dad and grandpa, your son has spent years on the baseball field. He’s pretty good at it, but his enthusiasm is beginning to wane. As the school year winds down, he announces it will be his last as a baseball player. Disappointed, you try to find out why the change of heart. Your son explains that baseball was never his dream, but yours. And now he wants to turn his attention to his true Alice meets The Mad Hatter on her latest visit to Wonderland. passion: music. Being true to yourself sometimes means standing up to ing the wisdom of entering into an Red Queen has been controlling her someone else’s expectations, even arranged marriage with a spoiled kingdom using the frightening monwhen they’re well-intentioned. Your aristocrat named Hamish. When he ster. In a terrifying battle, Alice slays son discovered this at an early age; proposes, she flees into the nearby the Jabberwocky. The White Queen others never do. The young heroine woods to ponder the situation. She banishes her sister and the Knave of Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland,” accidentally falls into a rabbit hole to the Outlands. Underland is free! available this month on DVD, learns and lands in the mysterious Under- Alice returns to her world and rethe same lesson before she makes land. Alice has visited often, mis- fuses Hamish’s marriage proposal. a life-altering choice that’s not her takenly calling it “Wonderland,” but Instead, she bucks tradition and own. Make it a family movie night always thought it was a dream. becomes an apprentice to a wealthy with Alice and then talk about this Now she has returned just in shipping magnate. By following her theme and others with our Talk To- time to fulfill her destiny. She has heart, Alice finds true happiness. gether points. Then play the Curious been chosen to kill the dreaded Game, our Play Together activity. Jabberwocky and free the residents Talk together Alice never quite lives up to her soIn “Alice in Wonderland,” 19-year- of the evil Red Queen’s rule. Alice old Alice Kingsleigh questions ev- balks; she could never kill anything, ciety’s expectations of young women. erything and everyone — includ- she declares. But soon the queen’s What are some of the ways she is difhenchman, the Knave of Hearts, is ferent? Why does she choose to not hunting her down to destroy her “play by the rules?” Even in Underland, Alice finds chances of success. Alice meets the Mad Hatter, who there are expectations of her that example, remove her earrings hides her in a teapot from the Knave she did not choose. For example, or switch shoes with someone. and advises her to go to the White everyone expects her to kill the JabThen call “It” back into the room Queen, the Red Queen’s good sister, berwocky. How does she feel about to discover what’s different. Time for help. Then he is captured by it? Why does she change her mind? each player’s efforts. the Knave and sentenced to die by Where does she find the courage to The one who finds all the the Red Queen. The Cheshire Cat complete such a scary task? Plan a family movie night this month! changes in the shortest amount rescues him, and Alice and the Mad of time is the winner. You will Hatter join forces with the White Check out our archives at www.Cinematters.com and get some great ideas for learn to pay attention to what Queen. makes each of us unique! Finally, Alice agrees to fight the fun with your favorite films! © 2010, Cinematters. Jabberwocky. She knows that the
Play together: Curious game How well do you know yourself — and your surroundings? You will need: Two or more players Gather all the players in one room. Choose one person to be “It” and leave the room. While “It” is gone, each of the other players should change something about his or her appearance. For 18 QUEENS Family • June 2010
© Disney Enterprises Inc. All Rights Reserved.
June 2010 • QUEENS Family 19
A virtual field trip
M GROWING UP ONLINE CAROLYN JABS
ost parents would like to show their kids the wonders of the world. Most don’t because travel is expensive and vacation schedules are short. In many families, grandma assumes everyone will use summertime for a family reunion and, to be honest, busy parents (and even kids) often need to recharge by doing nothing more challenging that lying on a beach or splashing in a hotel pool. Still, it’s a rare parent who doesn’t fantasize about holding a child’s hand while standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, or pointing out the marvels in a museum like the Smithsonian. Happily, you can
take these and other dream trips simply by visiting the right Web sites. Obviously, a virtual vacation isn’t the same as the real thing, but if your goal is to awaken your kids to their natural and cultural heritage, these sites are a terrific start. Here are five virtual trips worth taking: Tour the Smithsonian Museum. If you’ve visited the Smithsonian, you know how overwhelming “America’s attic” can be. The Web site can also be confounding if only because there are so many museums. Start with the Museum of Natural History, where your tax dollars have been put to good use creating a virtual tour with a 360 degree environment that makes it feel like you are wandering around the museum (www.mnh.si.edu/panoramas). When your child spots some20 QUEENS Family • June 2010
thing intriguing, he or she can ask for a close-up of everything from dinosaurs and fossils to sea-life and mammals, plants and insects to bones and gems. Younger children will enjoy the Live Cams at the National Zoo (nationalzoo.si.edu) and older children can deepen their understanding of American history, culture and art through exhibits at the other museums (smithsonian. org/museums). Visit a National Park. (www. nature.nps.gov/views/index.cfm) The National Park Service Web site is rich with visuals and information about the ecology and history of the parks. In addition to famous parks like the Grand Canyon and the Mall in Washinton D.C., you and your kids can hang out in more remote spots like the Badlands of South Dakota, Petroglyph Park in New Mexico or the Timpanogos Cave in Utah. The pages on the site load quickly, in part because they don’t include music or narration. Reading the short, intriguing captions is a good way to keep school skills sharp, and kids who become immersed in the site will be rewarded by the occasional game. It is also an excellent way to plan a visit to a park — or to remember past trips. Hike in the Woods. UPM, a multinational forest products company, sponsors an extraordinary website that makes you feel as though you’re tromping through a forest. To access the site go to www.upm.com and click on UPM Forest Life. Suddenly, bird calls fill the air. Is that a stream burbling in the background? A guide appears and offers to show you around, but you can also explore by clicking hot spots that explain everything from fungi to forestry management. The narration on the site is available in German, French and Suomi (Finnish), which may slow summer erosion of foreign language skills. Explore Earth. Planet in Action (www.planetinaction.com) enhances maps available at Google Earth to create vivid interactive tours of landmark sites. Check out the “Places” section of the site for tours of Mount St. Helens, Manhattan and Paris Dis-
neyland. With a click of the mouse, you can zoom in for a closer look at points of interest. It also includes flight simulation games for kids who find a simple tour boring. You can also go straight to the source by downloading Google Earth (earth.google.com/intl/en/), a richer version of GoogleMaps that allows investigation of almost any place on the planet, sometimes in three dimensions. Start by looking for familiar landmarks in your own community. Can you find your child’s school, the playground, your own backyard? Then go wild and visit places that are totally beyond the family budget. Tokyo. A Carribean island. The Serengeti. Magnify the map until little hot spots appear. Then click on them to learn more about local life. Take a Moon Walk. If exploring earth seems passé, try a virtual vacation that is quite literally out of this world. On the toolbar at the top of Google Earth, there’s a tiny image of Saturn. Clicking on it gives you the choice of studying the night sky, exploring Mars or traveling to the moon. On the moon, Apollo astronauts offer a personal tour, explaining the craft they used in their historic flight and pointing out their actual footprints. These virtual tours offer so many options that younger children will enjoy them more in the company of an adult guide. If possible, hook a computer to a larger monitor or even the family television, so several people can explore together. Kids over 10 may prefer to do their own investigating. Point them toward one of these sites and suggest they give the rest of the family a tour of what they discover. Knowing that, after dinner, in the company of your kids, you can look forward to sharing a virtual trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit can become its own mini, but memorable, vacation. Carolyn Jabs, MA, has been writing about families and the Internet for over 15 years. She is the mother of three computer-savvy kids. Other Growing Up Online columns appear on her Web site www.growing-up-online.com. @ Copyright, 2010, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.
June 2010 • QUEENS Family 21
The balancing Some advice on caring for a child with ADHD
22 QUEENS Family • June 2010
BY ELAINE LERNER, MSW, CSW
t’s Monday morning and the start of a new week. Families all over America are getting ready to send their children to school. The Jones family, however, is late once again. Their child won’t get out of bed on time. Their child won’t listen when they say to get dressed. A simple routine of getting up, getting dressed and getting ready for school creates insurmountable obstacles, conflict, hostility and utter chaos. By the time he gets down the stairs for breakfast, the school bus has already left. This happens every day. Their child has been diagnosed with ADHD, and they feel out of control and out of balance all the time. Parents of a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, must search out schools, teachers, professionals, and other community resources. They find themselves having to supervise, monitor, teach, organize, plan, structure, reward, punish, guide, buffer, protect, and nurture their child far more than is demanded by the typical parent. They will also need to meet more often with other adults involved in their child’s daily life — school staff, pediatricians, and mental health professionals. Their lives are a balancing-act in which they must juggle complex schedules. However, raising a child with ADHD can elevate parenting to a higher plane. It may be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but it can provide a tremendous opportunity for self-improvement and fulfillment as a parent. We’re all faced with daily stresses. Finances might be tight and difficult to manage. There may be too many things to do in a given day. Relationships might not receive the attention they deserve and they can become strained. There just never seems to be enough time to
allow us to spend quality time with our children. We get caught up in the everyday activities of life and we fail to recognize what is most important to us, our children and their future. The Jones family feels helpless and frustrated. Their expectations for their child are not being met. They thought life would be easy for them, but their expectations do not take into consideration the reality of their child’s disorder. They are disappointed and upset. They blame themselves for their child’s
These parents have to supervise, monitor, teach, organize, plan, structure, reward, punish, guide, buffer, protect, and nurture their child far more than the typical parent. inability to succeed at school and to form relationships with others. What the Jones family fails to understand is why their child acts and reacts to given situations. They don’t understand that their child has a disorder and has difficulty focusing and concentrating on their commands. They don’t understand that their child’s impulsivity is a part of the disorder. Their child is confused and doesn’t know why he behaves the way he does. As one child said to their mother, “I don’t understand why I act the way I do, please help me mommy.” Their child feels out of control. The Jones family is under constant stress. The family reacts to situations as opposed to being proactive. They fail to plan for winning outcomes. They take things person-
ally, and think their child is just acting out. Their child isn’t acting out, but is just asking for love in the most unloving way. A family with an ADHD or ODD child needs to take control of the situation. Be proactive. Far too often, we react to our children’s behavior on impulse without regard to the consequences and with no plan for what we are trying to achieve. Seeing a situation from a reactive frame of mind can make things look hopeless. It is not what your child does to you that creates these problems, but your response. Take the initiative to change what you do not like in the way you react to your child, and accept the responsibility to make the relationship happen in the way your want it to develop. Spend time with your child. Spend special time with your child each day. Be with them for 20 minutes a day in a non-judgmental way. These children are seeking your attention. Spending quality time with your child without giving directions or judgments is the first step in the process of reconnecting with your child. Be consistent. Children with ADHD lack the ability to plan, to be organized and stay focused. This creates confusion as to what behavior is appropriate in a given situation. This can create a feeling within them of instability, lack of safety and lack of control. Being consistent can help provide them with a safe structure and controlled environment in which they can function at a more productive level. Plan with the end in mind — be goal oriented. All interactions between individuals are a form of negotiation. Don’t just concentrate on what you want your child to do. Concentrate on setting up a behavioral management plan that is goal oriented and achievable. This will enable a child
act to feel successful and improve their self-esteem. The life plan is based upon wants instead of immediate needs and teaches them the ability to think and plan in a proactive way. Take care of yourself. Too often, parents of ADHD children devote too much of their time and energy to their children and, in the process, exhaust themselves. Failing to take time to renew yourself physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually can cause you to shut down and have less time and energy to devote to your child. The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of self-renewal. Use a collaborative approach. ADHD in children often requires medical, education, behavioral, and psychological intervention. This comprehensive multi-modal approach to treatment often includes: s 0ARENT TRAININGS s "EHAVIOR INTERVENTION STRATEGIES s !N APPROPRIATE EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM s %DUCATION ON !$($ s )NDIVIDUAL AND FAMILY COUNSELING s -EDICATION WHEN APPROPRIATE Parent Trainings are often the first step in the learning process. Trainings help educate parents to better understand the nature of the disorder. Conducting meetings in a group approach allows parents to share their experiences with others in a caring and supportive environment. Parents learn how to manage their children on a day to day basis. Trainings help relieve stress in families, bringing them closer together. Life may still feel like a balancing act, but parents who rise to the occasion often feel a greater sense of accomplishment and bring parenting to a higher level. %LAINE ,ERNER -37 #37 IS AN !$($ !$$ AND /$$ 0ARENT 4RAINER 3HE TRAINED WITH 2USSELL "ARKLEY 0H$ AN INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED AUTHORITY ON !$($ 3HE CONDUCTS 0ARENT 4RAIN-
INGS IN 'ARDEN #ITY ,YNBROOK AND (AUPPAUGE (ER MAILING ADDRESS IS 0/ "OX 'REAT .ECK .9 (ER OFFICE IS LOCATED AT TH 3TREET
3UITE 'ARDEN #ITY .9 0HONE &AX %MAIL ELAINE ADHDPARENTTRAINERCOM ÂŠ www.ADHDParentTrainer.com June 2010 â€˘ QUEENS Family 23
Special Needs Di r ec to ry Forest Hills West School 63-25 Dry Harbor Road, Middle Village, 718-639-9750
NYS certified teachers and therapists use a team approach to provide a nurturing learning environment
s %ARLY #HILDHOOD AND 3PECIAL %DUCATION 0RESCHOOL s )NTEGRATED #LASSES $EVELOPMENTALLY !PPROPRIATE 0RACTICE s /NGOING 3TAFF $EVELOPMENT s 3TATE %D !PPROVED %VALUATION 3ITE %NGLISH3PANISH s 5NIVERSAL 0RE + s 7INNER OF .93 /UTSTANDING %ARLY #HILDHOOD !WARD
Licensed by NYC Department Of Health Bureau of Day Care
CREATING REAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR LEARNING At The Shield Institute we have special expertise supporting children with autism spectrum disorders and their families. We offer special education, diagnostic and clinical services in our two preschool programs in Queens and in the Bronx. Additionally we provide family workshops to our parents with children with ASD and to others parents in our surrounding communities. The Shield Institute is affiliated with the Jewish Board of Family and Childrenâ€™s Services and is a member of the United Way. Parent Workshops (Spanish translation is available for all workshops)
May Workshops May 7th, 14th and 21st Location: 14461 Roosevelt Ave., Flushing, NY 11354 Helping Parents and Caregivers Manage Difficult Behaviors of Children with ASD. This is a three part training. Presenter: Ramapo for Children Time: 9:45am to 12:00pm
June Workshops June 9th Location: 14461Roosevelt Ave., Flushing, NY 11354 Understanding the Sensory Issues with Children with ASD/Autism. Presenter: Lindsey Biel Time: 9:45am to 12:00pm If you are interested in attending any of these workshops free of charge please contact Laura Villa at 718-939-8700 x1167 (Laura is bilingual in Spanish & English) These workshops are made possible by a grant provided by the New York City Council, Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
24 QUEENS Family â€˘ June 2010
Family Speech Center 25-32 168th St. Flushing 718-939-0306 Family Speech Center is operated by Niki Stagias-Coulianidis, MA, CCCSLP and Errika Nathenas-Dimitrakis, MS, CCC-SLP, speech language pathologists serving adults and children. They evaluate and treat individuals with articulation and stuttering problems; teach people to speak more fluently; improve the quality of voice for those with voice disorders; assist people with swallowing difficulties as a result of stroke, injury, illness or surgery; help people with aphasia to re-learn speech and language skills; and help to improve an individualâ€™s communication skills such as accent reduction, pitch, non-verbal communication and delays in receptive and expressive language development.
ICCD Preschool 98-02 62nd Drive, Rego Park; 718-263-1587 35-55 223rd Street, Bayside; 718428-5370 or www.iccd.com ICCD Preschool with other sites within the community offers an innovative program where children with disabilities learn and play alongside children without disabilities. Named as the 1999 Outstanding Early Childhood Program by the NYS Education Department, ICCD offers a unique preschool experience as well as free Universal Pre-K for children born in 2005. The program offers art, music, computers, an indoor gym facility
and an outdoor playground. There are also field trips. Half and full day classes in small group sizes are offered. Children need not be toilet trained.
New York League for Early Learningâ€™s Forest Hills West School A Member of the YAI Network Amanda Oâ€™Brien Principal 63-25 Dry Harbor Road Middle Village, NY 11379 718-639-9750 NYLâ€™s Forest Hills West School provides special education and therapeutic services to children ages 2.5-5 with special needs. Services are tailored to meet the unique needs of each child within the context of a developmentally appropriate early childhood program. A warm and nurturing atmosphere sets the stage for learning through play activities, which are incorporated into the daily routine. The goal is provide enough support so each child can reach his or her full potential. Activities that help in the development of independence and self-confidence are built into the curriculum. Each childâ€™s expanding sense of self is supported beyond the walls of the school community through neighborhood walks and field trips. Parents and family members are in integral part of the process. Parent workshops are held monthly. Support groups provide space for parents and caregivers to meet Continued on page 26
Family Speech Center Evaluation & Therapeutic Services For Children & Adults ! ) (%*" $ ( - '' !)$( # )'! (
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Office Visits By Appointment (718) 939-0306 25-32 168 Street, Flushing, NY 11358
71-25 Main Street Flushing, NY11367
Tel: 718Â·261Â·0211 Fax: 718Â·268Â·0556 72-52 Metropolitan Ave. Middle Village, NY 11379
Tel: 718Â·326Â·0055 Fax: 718Â·326Â·0637
We Provide: s Classes in English, Spanish, s Occupational Therapy Hebrew & Russian s Physical Therapy s Integrated Classes s Family Support s Comprehensive Groups and Training Evaluations s Adaptive s School Psychologist Physical Education s Counseling s Fully Equipped s Social Work Services Playground s Speech Therapy s Music & Art
POSITIVE S BEGINNING IMPACTS A LIFETIME
Funded by NYS Educational Dept. and NYS Dept. of Health
Services At No Cost To Parents!!!
Emphasis on learning skills for school-age success!
A Unique Learning Preschool Experience For Over 20 Years! s 3MALL GROUP SIZE s 7ARM NURTURING s 2EASONABLE RATES s )NDIVIDUAL ATTENTION s 0ARENT SUPPORT GROUPS s .93 %ARLY #HILDHOOD #ERTIlED 4EACHERS s 3PECIAL %DUCATION 3ERVICES !VAILABLE
s 3TATE OF THE ART CLASSROOMS s #OMPUTERS IN EVERY CLASSROOM s /UTDOOR PLAYGROUND s )NDOOR GYM s -USIC MOVEMENT AND ART s &IELD TRIPS
FREE UNIVERSAL PRE-K EXCITING 6 WEEK SUMMER SESSION
/UTSTANDING %ARLY #HILDHOOD 0ROGRAM !WARD FROM .93 %DUCATION $EPARTMENT -EETS ALL .9# $EPARTMENT OF (EALTH$IVISION OF $AY #ARE OPERATING REQUIREMENTS ,ICENSED BY .93 %DUCATION $EPARTMENT
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