Flight of the Simparrot
C.M. Pye & Coffee Press SUNSET VALLEY RIVERVIEW SHANG SIMLA CHAMPS LES SIMS AL SIMHARA TWINBROOK BRIDGEPORT BARNACLE BAY
ILLUSTRATION PAGE 2:
Dream of the Simparrot
A Photoshop-forged painting by C.M. Pye, using pics from SimFans.de http://www.simprograms.com/images/games/066.jpg and then turned it into the style of an Edward Lear (1812-1888) illustration.
© 2011 C.M. PYE & COFFEE PRESS http://issuu.com/cmpye Original edition: © 2010 at www.Simatography.webs.com Published by C.M. Pye & Coffee Press, a made-up publishing company by CrescentMoonPye, whose sole purpose is to produce utter nonsense related to ‘The Sims’ games for the free entertainment of the simming public. All rights reserved… by this author to constantly tweak, edit, alter, update, polish, perfect, and obsessively agonize over the correct spelling, wording, and/or presentation of the volume(s) herein regardless of the last and final ‘printing’ offered to the public. This edition is based upon the imaginary experiences of an imaginary sim pet, as the Pets EP won’t be out for another month. Disclaimer: The views represented by Crackers do not necessarily represent the views of the author. I can’t fly. The publisher wishes to thank the Issuu.com site; also Electronic Arts Inc. for the creation of The Sims 3, without which none of this silliness would be possible; and NSJ from Photobucket for the use of his/her feather tile in my book cover design Printed in Issuuland 2 1
This book is dedicated to my pet budgies from my childhood and young adult years, who taught me the meaning of pure joy and gave me perspective on the concept that All life forms, not only human ones, are sacred ( and fun to play as sims ) and to ~svlyn, without whose enthusiasm and encouragement I may not have remembered that I already wrote the text for this book a long time ago as well as ~clubers and ~LittleV, who very efficiently hunted down a premature TS3 Macaw and delivered the pic location to me so I could draw Crackers on pg. 2 and to ~Minraed at Simatography.webs.com and the creative simmers out there who introduced me to Issuu.comâ€™s potential uses
I put a Crittercam on my simparrot, Crackers, today. [ I really miss the Unleashed EP. October 2011 canâ€™t come soon enough ! ]
I decided to let him fly in the room wherever he pleased so that you could see how I redecorated Elizabeth Barrett's bedroom. This is the Doubleday Lodge lot EA made and I put it on 53 Waterfall Way in Sunset Valley. The lot is right next to the Stoney Falls park (which my sims own and manage now). 6
I opened the door and went into Elizabeth Barrett's new bedroom with Crackers perched on my arm.
I then placed him on the floor to see what he would do next. 11
He took flight straight towards the window.
That's Stoney Falls that you see through there. Crackers saw it too. 8
Unfortunately Crackers thought he could keep going and ran right into the window, which knocked him silly.
He fell onto the candle, so thankfully it wasn't lit. 13
Crackers pattered back across the floor to look up at the window, quite disgusted that he could not fly through it.
How do I know he was disgusted? 10
Why, you could just see it on his face! (If you have ever had a species of parrot for a pet, you know what I mean.)
Crackers took off again - this time in the direction of the French doors. 15
Getting closer to the glass he noticed his reflection - clearly set on a collision course with his own path! So he veered off sharply to avoid his getting knocked silly a second time.
He changed his flight plan "on the wing" and angled his way towards the dresser intending to land on it. 12
But the reflective gems on the dresser freaked him out, making him panic and fly up away from them in case they should have the same effect on him as the window had. 17
Unfortunately he flew too high and, by not looking where he was going, conked his head on the ceiling.
Down he came, sliding against the wallpaper... 14
... only to land on the dresser anyway.
As Crackers suspiciously eyed the gems (they being so close to him now), he seemed to change his mind about them and took off across the dresser to go peck at the pretty, white sparkly one on the corner.
But he tottered too fast and too far, sliding right off of the end of the dresser!
As he flapped clumsily between it and the wall, he could see inside Elizabeth's dresser drawers as he descended - which is REALLY weird if you ask me. 21
He landed not so gracefully on the floor with a light thud.
Slightly ruffled and covered in dust bunnies, Crackers trotted out from underneath the dresser after fully investigating the underside of it. 18
The intrepid bird stretched his wings and went to fly again, getting the impression from the mirror that the room was much longer than it actually was. 23
And so unsurprisingly, Crackers flew into the mirror and ended up on the floor once again.
He's nothing if not consistent.
Not to be deterred, this brave little parrot took off once again and seeing from his lofty position that there was another shiny thing on the desk over there, decided to go play with it. 25
After the gem lost its appeal (about 8 minutes or so), Crackers flew up and away once again to explore the room.
Doing 9 turns about the room, Crackers was really getting exhausted and needed a nice place to settle.
He decided the bed looked as good as anywhere else, so that's the direction in which he turned. 27
And with a bounce, a hop, and a crash onto his beak, Crackers was ready to look around his new landing pad. The Wright Brothers would be utterly impressed with the quality of his bumpy landing on such a puffy surface.
What a runway!
And run Crackers did... all the way down the length of Elizabeth's bed in his charmingly pigeon-toed fashion (tripping on the bed covers twice because they were wrinkled in spots). 29
Ooooh, there are those deceptive windows again!
But Crackers has a slight learning curve after all and didn't try to fly through them this time. He's still a bit of a klutz, however, so it didn't stop him from falling off the bed when he backed up without looking, 26
Running around on the floor is fun for a while, but birds were meant to fly so that's what Crackers went to do. Somehow he found a very distorted cutaway in the wall as he was taking off. 31
He flew up to the ceiling to try to get a better look at it, but he didn't see it anymore must've been his imagination.
But when he looked up, the cutaway seemed to consume the whole ceiling! Thinking that it was another trick, Crackers very cautiously flew higher into it and noticed that it wasn't stopping him.
So he kept going up... 33
... and up and up... and off he went into the wild blue night sky.
I was helpless to stop him since I can't fly or control made-up cutaway wall/ceiling behavior.
So there went Crackers with the expensive Crittercam... 30
... toward the top of Stoney Falls...
... and beyond.
( This is why having birds as pets can eventually make you cry ).
Maybe National Simographic will get some nice footage from the Crittercam that will teach us all something new about simulated Macaw behavior as Crackers explores the wide world of The Sims 3 unimpeded. 32
Happy Journeys, Crackers! We'll miss you...
THE END And like all good books with an assumed happy ending for the hero or heroine, the rest is left up to your imagination. 37
About the Author
CrescentMoonPye Yup! That’s me all right. I’m chronically wordy and have written things all over the place at Simatography and TS3. I just can’t help myself. If I don’t get the words out, my head will explode and that wouldn’t be very pleasant, now would it? Not for me anyway.
Happy Simming to you all ! 39
Acknowledgements I want to thank www.Fonts4free.net for providing me with the fun free typefaces that I used to create the mood in this book. It’s a helpful site.
BudBird Font Bird Cherry Font I used EA’s ‘The Sims 3’ game, Microsoft Word, various public domain sites, Adobe Photoshop, Adobe PDF, and Issuu.com to create this work of… fiction? … nonsense? … what have you?... If I have forgotten to thank someone or something, I do apologize. This process has been fun but drawn out and I did not take notes as I went along. Your assistance has been very much appreciated. I would also like to thank Rflong7 for the emergency terminology help and also the many simmers who gave the pre-press volume a once-over. Many sets of eyes are certainly better than one. Ask a spider if you don’t believe me. If you find Crackers in your sim town, send him back to me. I miss him even though he was never actually there.
Published on Sep 8, 2011
Crackers the Simparrot takes a tour of Elizabeth Barrett's new boudoir and discovers what life in bedroom captivity can offer to a non-exist...