IN THE
SPOTLIGHT
Sometimes you have to be intentional to find and make friends.
Soul Date
How stepping outside of your comfort zone could lead to making more friends. b y G I M E N A M A C H A D O
W
hen 26-year-old marketing student Ivana Shafran moved to Vancouver in 2020, she figured making friends wouldn’t be a problem. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. “After five months in Vancouver, I had no intimate circle,” she says. “I felt lonely and embarrassed.” But she knew she had
30 unspoken
MAY 2022
to do something about it. “I started investigating and came across Bumble BFF,” she says. “It’s the same app as the dating one, but you choose the friends mode.” That’s when she saw hundreds of people in the same situation—and that day she stopped feeling embarrassed. “I met so many cool girls on that app. Yes, it is more chal-
lenging than making friends in person, but if you put effort into getting to know them and then meet with them, you can make some great friends as I did.” Shafran’s experience in Vancouver isn’t unique, despite what you might read about the city online. If you Google “Vancouver friendly city,” the top hits will show
that the the city was named the “friendliest city on earth” in 2019. But as soon as the Daily Hive picked up the story, its social media was bombarded with readers disagreeing with the sentiment. Of the 81 replies, 75 made fun of the city’s new title. “I describe Vancouver in all sorts of wonderful ways,” tweeted @jennifer_brick. “Friendly is not one of them.” “Maybe they mean Vancouver, Washington,” responded @gmdvancouver. So how do locals overcome the city’s unfriendliness? Jessica Smith, a 21-year-old Vancouverite, has always struggled to maintain friendships in the city. “Even in high school, I found I was more likely to be hanging with my parents on a Friday night,” says the communications student. But it wasn’t because of strict parenting, or even her own choice. “I have always struggled to make connections that felt good to me,” she says. Things shifted for Smith once she started signing up for activities outside the university. “I met a lot of girls that are in the same situation,” she says. “I feel like people are just too afraid to go up to you and tell you that they would like to hang out soon.” In fact, she’s been putting in an extra effort to be the one to make the first move, which has helped her make a lot of new connections. Luisa Hernandez took a different approach altogether. The 23-year-old Mexican student found that housing groups on Facebook were a great source for people looking to connect. “I saw a guy looking for a roommate, and PHOTO: GIMENA MACHADO
