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Classrooms of Canada


Hudson Hill


Dangerous Times Down Under

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2 From the Editor 4 President’s Letter 5 Briefly 23 Do you remember your first time? — MVL 26 COLAP Well-being Corner — All too real 28 Laszlo Scofflaw, Attorney Curmudgeon 31 Climate Change — Be Kind. Rewind. 34 Meet your DBA YLD Council 36 YLD Corner This year, we are celebrating the eighth annual Denver Lawyers’ Arts and Literature Contest. The Docket Committee would like to thank all of those who participated and congratulate the winners. It’s clear that many Denver findvisited a work–life balance their creative outlets. The number The Docketlawyers recently Hudson Hillinon a Wednesday afternoon afterofwork. It’s outstanding entries weand received made the judging process a particularly a sort of combination coffeethat shop cocktail/wine bar with a great snack menu. endeavor. You’ll walls see each impressive piece on the Especiallychallenging in the evening, the brick and subduedwinning lighting create a warm and following pages.

21 Bar Review: Hudson Hill

inviting atmosphere. RICHARD LIONBERGER

37 Legal Affairs 39 Picture This 41 10 Questions

Please join us in congratulating the winners and praising all entrants at the Denver Lawyers’ Arts & Literature Contest Party on October 24 at Millers & Rossi (3542 Walnut Street). The event will begin at 5:30 PM and will include complimentary appetizers and drinks. Come see and hear the winning works and mingle with local artists and attorneys. RSVP online orrain email lunches@cobar.org. “What the--? Amazon forest? What in the Hell are you even saying, and who

25 Dangerous Times Down Under the Hell are these people, Oscar?”. THE THE DOCKET DOCKET COMMITTEE COMMITTEE

29 Travel Mixing business and pleasure means learning forever. I flew to Toronto for an academic conference for media law professors and other educators of journalism and mass mass communication. communication. ELIZABETH ELIZABETH THARAKAN THARAKAN and

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A Denver Bar Association publication. Views expressed in articles are those of the author and not the views of the author’s employers, the Docket Committee or the Denver Bar Association, unless expressly stated. OUR MISSION

To educate and entertain the Denver legal community without being sued! EDITOR

Charles McGarvey, cmcgarvey@cobar.org GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Clair Smith, csmith@cobar.org ADVERTISING

Jessica Espinoza, advertising@cobar.org DOCKET COMMITTEE

Ainsley Bochniak, Marion Brewer, Martin Champagne, Klaralee Charlton, Craig Eley, David Erickson, Joshua Fitch, Laurinda Frederick, Emma Garrison, James Garts, Otto Hilbert, Ryan Jardine, Ezra Kramer, Richard Lionberger, Colleen McCoy, Douglas McQuiston, Corinne Miller, Blain Myhre, Jennifer O’Connell, Robert Petrowsky, Gregory Rawlings, Dana Showalter, Marshall Snider, Elizabeth Tharakan, Dianne Van Voorhees, William Wenzel, Rachel Young. 2019–20 CHAIR:

Elizabeth Tharakan.

Kevin McReynolds, President; Daniel A. Sweetser, President-Elect; Mo Watson, Immediate Past President; Tyrone Glover, First Vice President; Justin L. Cohen, Second Vice President; Klaralee Charlton, Treasurer; Executive Director, Patrick Flaherty.


Is there a right or wrong way to make a sandwich? I grew up in a traditional condiments-and-fixings-on-the-top sort of family. Of course, as I was to learn, “traditional” is relative. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a Carl’s Jr. ad in LA and exclaimed, “WHOA! They put the lettuce and tomato on the bottom! Is that how people make sandwiches in California?!” In fact, there are a bazillion ways to make a sandwich. At Waffle House (a popular diner chain in The South where I grew up) they claim to have found 844,739 different ways to make a hamburger. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate enough to travel far and wide and experience a veritable multitude of sandwich constructions. From the Chinese bao to the Vietnamese bánh mì, from the Philly cheesesteak to the New Orleans po’ boy, I have enjoyed sandwiches of every description. I like extra tzatziki on my gyros (pronounced YEE-ros). These sandwiches of the world have informed my wisdom. Today, I endeavor to incorporate as many disparate elements into my approach as possible, striving to make every bite the best bite. Torta to tripleta, shawarma to sabich – every sandwich tells a story. And really, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? A good story. How did the



croque monsieur become the croque madam? Ask the egg. So, I plan on approaching The Docket the same way I approach the sandwich — with gusto! I may try rearranging some of the elements and ingredients from time to time. Substituting arugula for romaine or using ranch dressing instead of mayo (try it!). I might even ditch the bread altogether and use fried plantains instead. Crazy? Tell that to the Puerto Rican jibarito. And I’m looking forward to collaborating with you! I’m excited to receive your comments, questions, suggestions, and submissions. Together, we can keep making The Docket a magazine for the community. Whatever happens, I promise it will be fun. After all, the only right way to make a sandwich is to make it delicious!

Charles McGarvey Charles McGarvey, Editor cmcgarvey@cobar.org

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2019–20 BOARD OF TRUSTEES: Josh Berry, Katy Dunn, Arnulfo Hernandez, April Jones, Ruchi Kapoor, Noah Patterson, Sara Sharp, Mario Trimble, Lara Zarzecki, Matthew Broderick, Young Lawyers Division, Wendy Weigler, Diversity Bars Representative.

DBA members are encouraged to send story ideas, photos, tips, and articles for the Docket Committee’s consideration. We are looking for content by Denver attorneys for Denver attorneys, focusing on trends, courts and practice management, in addition to opinion and satire pieces. Please send ideas and member announcements to Editor Charles McGarvey at cmcgarvey@cobar.org.


The editor has the right to accept and reject submissions at her discretion.

303-860-1115 • denbar.org/Members/The-Docket

Copyright 2019. The Docket (ISSN 1084-7820) is published six times a year by the Denver Bar Association, 1290 Broadway, Suite 1700, Denver, CO 80203. All rights reserved. The price of an annual subscription to members of the DBA ($15) is included in their dues as part of their membership. Periodicals postage paid at Denver, CO and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER send address corrections to the Docket, Denver Bar Association, 1290 Broadway, Suite 1700, Denver, CO 80203. Cover Photo - JFL

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Hello fellow DBA members: Following the blueprint of one of my predecessors, Franz Hardy, I’m going to use this space for the next few issues to highlight some of the Denver legal community’s leading attorneys. As someone who has spent the majority of my career in public service, I thought it would be interesting to get insights from prominent government attorneys, starting with the Colorado Attorney General, Phil Weiser. I sat down with Phil last month and wanted to share some of his thoughts: What was the path that led you to become Attorney General? I’ve always been committed to public service and for me, the question was how was that path going to go. It started in law school because I had a mentor who told me, “If you want to serve others, the law is a phenomenal platform and training.” I had the experience of clerking for judges after law school and then I went to work for the Justice Department, the first of two times there. Working as a professor was an experiment to see if I could serve and teach. My experience showed this could absolutely work because my teaching was very much in the nature of mentoring and coaching. I was able to help many students find a path where a lot of them got engaged in service full-time or in finding ways



to do it as well as serving clients in private practice. I also consulted with government entities, including Governor Ritter’s Innovation Council and President Obama’s transition team. Serving as the Dean of CU Law was really a powerful platform because I could help the law school as an enterprise be engaged in service, and that is really a mission of a public law school. Had the 2016 election gone differently, I might well have been looking at a third time in Washington. It didn’t, and I instead thought that the action is at the state level and I need to run to become Colorado’s Attorney General. What do you find most challenging about working as a government attorney? There are three different parts of the job and each has its own challenges. One is practicing law in the context of government where you really have to be thoughtful about who is the client and how you serve the interests of a client, a statutory framework, and also the background principle that we’re all serving the people of Colorado. There are some interesting legal issues that come up in the public sector that are different. Obviously, we get to practice more constitutional law in the public sector. We get to bring affirmative cases, whether criminal or consumer protection. The legal is-

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sues are really rich and interesting. Second, because I am the leader of the office, I also face the broader issue of how do I help everyone in this office operate in the most effective way possible. And finally, because I’m an elected official, I think about how to explain the work of this office to the people of Colorado. That’s an important challenge that I’m still getting my arms around. What would you say to law students or practicing attorneys who are considering a career in government service? I am a huge fan of government service at multiple different points in your career. For law students thinking about it during their formative years, I believe government service can give you tremendous responsibility, it can help you develop expertise in valuable areas, and it can give you a real sense of meaning and purpose for your work. For more senior attorneys, I’ve brought lawyers into this office who haven’t served in a long time but who want to give back. I believe that ideally, one can live a life in the law where you work on multiple fronts. You can teach law, you can serve in the public sector, you can serve private clients. What’s great about our profession is that it’s not one-sizefits-all or black or white. You can instead find ways to integrate a range of different experiences into your career.

I’d encourage anyone interested in public service to consider working in the Attorney General’s Office and consider how you can be a part of the

important challenges we’re facing as a community. Lawyers have a role to play and there are lots of ways you can be involved and make an impact. How has your involvement in professional groups, including bar associations, impacted your career as a government attorney? I had the unique situation of having to run for office and, if you want to be successful, relationships are even more important than for those who are otherwise serving in government as an appointed official. Relationships matter a ton no matter what because, if you know people and have relationships, you’re going to be more effective in doing your work. You should build relationships when you don’t need them, and the bar is a great way to build relationships because there you find people with a shared sense of mission and purpose. Because I’ve been engaged in

working with the bar, the technology section of the Colorado Bar, as a member of the Colorado Women’s Bar Association and active in the Denver Bar as well, I’ve had the chance over the years to meet lots of different people. And my experience running for office is that those relationships came back to help me in an incredible way. What do you wish other people knew about the AG’s Office? The breadth of the work that we do here. The quality and impact of the work that we do here. And the level of commitment we have to really get it right. Our values — which we developed by working with attorneys throughout the office and have listed on our website — give you a sense of our commitment to making government work. This builds confidence among the people of Colorado that we’re serving them.


OF NOTE: Lawyering seems to lend itself to a plethora of pastimes besides litigation. Especially creative ones. Did you know that many of the world’s famous painters, poets, novelists, performers, and musicians only found their way to the arts after first practicing law? I know, you’re not surprised. And neither was I. After all, a good attorney must have a dash of artist in order to perform on the stage of the bench and the bar, right? If severe appendicitis hadn’t forced Henri Matisse to an extended period of bed rest shortly after he passed the bar, he probably would have continued to work as a law clerk in the small town of Saint-Quentin, France. Thankfully for Modernism, Matisse’s mother brought him a box of art supplies to cheer him up while he recuperated. Soon there af

ter, the world lost a barrister and gained a Fauves. Dieu merci! If John Grisham hadn’t overheard a twelve-year-old girl’s heart wrenching testimony to a tearful jury, he probably wouldn’t have started writing his first novel, “A Time to Kill.” And if he hadn’t started writing, he’d probably still be a lawyer serving in the Mississippi House of Representatives. Instead, he’s written 27 books, been translated into 42 languages, and sold 275 million copies. While studying law at the University of Pisa, Andrea Bocelli sang at piano bars at night to make extra money. He worked one year as a court appointed attorney before Luciano Pavarotti heard his voice on a demo tape at told him it was time to say goodbye to law. To date, he has sold over 90 million records worldwide.


As you know, practicing law is stressful. And stress needs an outlet. For corporate attorney Nathan Sawaya, that outlet was building things with LEGO. Well, he must have been under a lot of stress, because his LEGO sculptures evolved to reach epic proportions of pathos and beauty. Now he is officially recognized by The LEGO Group as one of the best LEGO builders in the world. His traveling exhibit “The Art of the Brick ®,” has been named by CNN as a “Top 10 Global Must See Exhibition.”

PHOTOS: Left: Henri Matisse - Dance Source: Artsper Magazine Right: Nathan Sawaya - Yellow Source: Avant Gallery

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This year, we are celebrating the eighth annual Denver Lawyers’ Arts and Literature Contest. The Docket Committee would like to thank all of those who participated and congratulate the winners. It’s clear that many Denver lawyers find a work–life balance in their creative outlets. The number of outstanding entries that we received made the judging process a particularly challenging endeavor. You’ll see each impressive winning piece on the following pages. Please join us in congratulating the winners and praising all entrants at the Denver Lawyers’ Arts & Literature Contest Party on October 24 at Millers & Rossi (3542 Walnut Street). The event will begin at 5:30 PM and will include complimentary appetizers and drinks. Come see and hear the winning works and mingle with local artists and attorneys. RSVP online or email lunches@cobar.org. 6


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Lost man on Dover Road Walking her multiple times a day (now that I am job less), her pace becomes a test of wills. On the asphalt boulevard of combustible bearings I am alpha. But once in the field, A leash length behind me, she is an emergency brake, Randomly engaged. I glare. She ignores. There is no ill will… Even friends ask for an accounting of my days (is it in cents or indulgences of senses?) but she has only scents to identify, underbrush to scout, coordinates to reckon. Who is alpha now? Her mission, find what we did not know was lost; And mine, discover I once was lost, And she has found me.

I began 2018 with a painful change in my life. But then, I also began law school 40 years ago just two weeks after the death of my first husband in a climbing accident in Chamonix, France. After completing three years of graduate school in California and a year of adventure and climbing, we were going to move to his hometown, Denver. Law was to be a tool for me to be a better environmental advocate. Instead, by necessity, it became a way to make a living, and by serendipity, a way to reconnect with health care. I grew up around the Army hospitals where my father worked for 36 years as an administrator; practicing health care law gave me an entrance into a community that felt like home. When I suddenly found myself in early 2018 no longer working full time and then faced with some personal challenges not uncommon for many of my generation, I turned to a form of self-expression I had missed: poetry. All my teen years and into college, I wrote poetry.

Elizabeth Carver

Associate General Counsel

My second husband and I raised our three children to appreciate poetry, even starting a holiday tradition of each of us reciting a memorized poem. I am inclined by personality and upbringing to find solace and creative and intellectual satisfaction in writing: it can be a document memorializing a complex business arrangement or evidencing compliance with applicable regulations; it can be a handwritten letter to a distant friend; or it can be a poem. With my two terriers as walking companions, I can quiet the busy-ness of the day by forming the words I want later to put on paper.

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Song of the Bow (“David intoned this lamentotion over Soul and his son Jonathan . (now that I am job less... The Song of the Bow .... “ 2 Sam 1: 17)

How many bodies fell in the high places? Saul lost beside his son, his sword defiled in a last anointing, Jonathan’s bow broken, his life unstrung. Among the daughters of Israel, their mightiness once was sung. Now dust and ash may blow nowhere. No good does glory do them now, to where they went and were begun. Saul loved to hear that little David sing, just slightly imagining that God meant to give him everything. God’s ways, he well knew, were beyond his captive will, like any other man’s. He could not predict the odd twist in the heart of manly Jonathan that made him love so much his friend. For, to Saul, the hopes and plans of men mostly seemed to float upon a wind that comes and goes. And so, and so, David had to run away from Saul, whom he liked to wait upon and watch­ With time David kept apart, among his loyal men, a fruitful seed in soil of what God Himself is meant to know. He was not to be uprooted by a stormy will from his certain sense of skill.



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Mark Emde

Law Student, University of Denver

This sculpture fulfills so many aspects of happiness in my life. The sculpture itself is wood, engraved with a laser engraver from the University of Denver Innovation Labs. The Innovation Labs are open to all students, faculty, and staff. I learned of the Innovation Labs during my 1L year at DU Law and have been playing around with projects ever since, including business cards and nametags. Art expression has always been a way for me to relieve stress, whether it be through playing the mandolin or fiddle, creating an abstract piece, making furniture, or discovering a new form of creation, such as a laser engraver. The photo utilized was taken the last day of a two-week road trip with the beautiful girl in the picture, Patsy Pesa. The road trip consisted of living in my 2001 Toyota 4Runner for a ski trip from Winter Park, CO, to Big Sky, MT, to Jackson Hole, WY. The frigid nights included reading advanced assignments for law school by headlamp and final study preparations for the patent bar (passed a week later). We wanted so badly to see a moose, but luck was not on our side until two hours outside of Jackson, when we saw two moose running through a field. We rushed out of the car and dashed through the snow until the moose were visible. This picture follows directly after our moose encounter and the feeling of completeness on our trip. The final happiness from the sculpture is my rock and support in law school and studying for the patent bar. Patsy has been nothing but supportive and encouraging. I am excited about a career in IP law and look forward to always creating and being expressive in my work and art.

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The Rizzo Diaries “Here it is,” she said, “Aren’t you excited?” I took the bag from her, unable to explain the knot of anticipation in my chest. Excited wasn’t quite the word. Underwhelmed? Nauseated? Some combination of both. Scrawled on the front was one word - RIZZO. Inside was a brown-black afro wig, a black shirt, and jeans. “It’s nice. Thanks.” I arranged my face into what I hoped was a polite expression, but probably made me look ill. Being in the theater wasn’t as transformative as I had hoped, since I already had frizzy brown-black hair and wore black shirts and jeans all the time. As a kid, my mother was big on enrolling me in classes of all sorts. There was swim class, funky dance class, ballet dance class, mix jazz dance class, tap dance class, Indian classical dance class. Okay, so maybe not so much the “all sorts” — mostly I was in dance classes. Incidentally, none of this helped transform me into a less awkward adult. At the time, mom had enrolled me in a brand new dance studio that had just taken over a vacant store in a strip mall near our house in Highlands Ranch. The studio was run by a very bossy 24-year-old dance major who had just graduated from CU named Jennifer. (Her name really wasn’t Jennifer, but I honestly can’t remember her name now, and my dad called all of the white ladies we encountered in Highlands Ranch “Jennifer” because he couldn’t tell them apart, so I’m just going to roll with it.) Jennifer organized the classes in her new studio by age and dance interest, rather than by dance ability or some other rational organization. So, I found myself in a tap class with another high schooler named Kate. As the two oldest members of the studio, we were fine with it — especially once we discovered our mutual love for The Offspring and choreographing nonsensical tap numbers wearing overalls and lipstick. Set to songs by The Offspring. When I was given the role of Rizzo, I was 14. The idea to do a studio-wide version of Grease had sprung from Jennifer’s mind like foul-smelling dust spewed forth from all of the fake fog machines she had purchased for the studio. “It will be so cute!” She gushed one day in tap class, “to see all of the miniature Pink Ladies and T-birds! In their jackets and capris. And we can start expanding the studio to give everyone vocallessons and acting lessons.” I had never seen the movie and had no idea what the story of Grease was. At the time, I was blissfully deep in my Bollywood phase and had no idea what had happened in American pop culture in the late 70’s. I was not about to admit that to Jennifer, and all of the other Jennifers in the studio. “Yaaaahhhh,” I agreed nasally, “that will be sooooo cute.” Kate shot me a look. Overkill? Thankfully, my parents had not seen Grease either. I’m pretty sure that there would have been some ruckus raised



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if they knew that I was supposed to have a false pregnancy scare halfway through the second act. I imagine my mother storming in to talk to Jennifer: “No teenage daughter of mine will pretend to be a teenage mother!” Naturally, all of the older dance students were assigned the main parts: Sandy, Frenchy, Rizzo, Jan, and Marty. Because our studio was so new, there were no older boy students, so Jennifer had to make do and assign the T-bird parts to the four boys in the jazz and hip-hop group — none of whom had hit puberty. The part of Cha-cha Digregorio, the main rival for Danny’s affections, was assigned to the youngest member of the studio. “Isn’t that hilarioussss?” Jennifer trilled. That’s one way to describe casting a five-year-old to pretend play a trollop. The other way is “Jon Benet Ramsey.” Kenickie was being played by John, a 12-year-old boy so devoid of personality that the only thing he ever ate was peanut butter sandwiches on white bread with no crusts. I was new to acting, but I knew that it was going to be a tough act to pretend to be in love with a plywood cutout of a human. Things weren’t looking good. The same day that our costumes arrived, Jennifer had arranged for a studio-wide read through of the script that she had “worked on editing.” She told us that there was too much kissing in the play, and she had wanted to work around it so that the story still made sense. Reflecting back on this as an adult, I imagine that trying to edit Grease to remove sexual content is like trying to tell the story of the Odyssey without including some sort of scene where Odysseus is traveling. It could be done, for sure, but the end result would leave the audience worried about Homer’s mental health. As I read through my copy of the script, it seemed odd that all that Danny wanted was hugs, but what did I know about high school romance? Kate was the one that pointed out the largest hole in the story. “Rizzo has one line.” Wait. What? I flipped to the end. It was true. After Jennifer had finished chainsawing all of the sexual innuendo out of the play, it seemed that Rizzo only screamed “Oh my god! Look at her!” after Sandy came out onstage having been made over into a sex pot—because that wasn’t sexual innuendo enough to be cut. It was very confusing, especially since I still had not admitted to Kate that I had failed to check out the VHS of the movie from the library. Years later, I tried to puzzle out what had possessed Jennifer—and the many other Jennifers I have known since—to want to march forward with a story that was clearly dismembered. Rizzo is, arguably, the feminist counter-point to Sandy—her sole purpose is to insert one-liners that bring Sandy back down to earth. Instead, I mostly stood around on stage in a terribly racist afro wig and occasionally chimed in “shoo wap

do wadda wadda yippity do be do.” It was a rather low point, punctuating a puberty-ridden freshman year full of them. Whenever I tell casual acquaintances that I played Rizzo in Grease, someone i nevitably sighs “oh, Ruchi, you would have made the perfect Rizzo.” I’m not quite sure how to react to

this statement, but I assume that it has something to do with brunette hair and my unflinching desire to wear sunglasses all the time. I never have the heart to tell them the real story.

I have been writing in one form or another for almost my entire life. I recently found my diary from first grade, where I chronicled most of the things I ate. Life was so much simpler at age six. Since then, I have spent my time chronicling the more nuanced aspects of my life as a blogger. My blog ran out of steam after law school when I crashed head-on into the job market, but a few years ago I gave myself permission to stop only writing appellate briefs and focus on creative writing as well. To my surprise, using my right brain strengthened my left brain projects. So I have kept at it, and I hope to eventually get published at some point before I turn 80.

Ruchi Kapoor

Office of Respondent Parents’ Counsel

I’m currently working on my first novel and an untitled autobiographical essay project. I’ve been a fan of David Sedaris and Tina Fey for as long as I can remember, and I recently began to wonder if any parts of my life were as funny as theirs. I started to write out stories, just to check. The Rizzo Diaries is the first one that came out. I spent a lot of time in dance classes as a kid, especially growing up in one of the most suburban-y suburbs ever, and I love revisiting those old memories. I find it terribly difficult to explain to new acquaintances that I did not really ever play Rizzo in Grease — so I have stopped using it as my “fun fact” for networking events. Now you know why.

Seniors Holiday Party Dec. 3 | 11:30 a.m. DBA Offices 1290 Broadway, Ste. 1700 Denver, CO 80203 Enjoy a hot buffet and lots of holiday fun, while catching up with friends and colleagues.


lunches@cobar.org or 303-860-1115, ext. 727.

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Richard Lionberger



“Fog Lifting Over Sprague Lake” is an image taken on a cold, rainy, foggy, gray, dull day in October. A day you might wonder why even take out the camera. And yet, that sort of atmosphere resulted in a moody and somber black and white image that conveys the quiet and stillness of that morning. I hope the viewer perceives that when viewing the image. There was just a hint of light over the mountain in the background that is reflected nicely in the water. The symmetry and balance of the image is intended to also contribute to the sense of equilibrium, quiet, and stillness. Although I’ve been interested in photography since 1975, it was only after embracing digital photography about 15 years ago that my images began to show real improvement. By using applications such as Lightroom and Photoshop with various plug-ins, I’m able to replicate analog darkroom work on the computer. Images such as “Fog Lifting Over Sprague Lake” can easily involve one or two hours of computer work to achieve interesting and artistic results. I’m a Denver based transactional attorney, international commercial arbitrator, and photographer, with over 35 years’ experience practicing law. My law practice focuses on business and commercial matters, often involving the oil and gas industry, and includes substantial experience handling international and maritime transactions and agreements.

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Laurel Witt “Tahoe Blues”

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Entropy The Boltzmann brains float around like jellyfish in a miasma of dark energy and radiation in the aftermath of yet another Big Bang reincarnation of the universe. This universe is fundamentally skewed, as the Big Bang has this time created only a partial, fragmentary universe, pockets of form floating in growing chaos while everything tends gradually towards entropy. The brains are unaware of their lack of bodily existence, living instead in an ephemera of earthly experiences and sensations that never quite developed. They live amid a palpable absence of the real: a true Valencia orange is not to be found at the grocery store while museums are a collector’s cornucopia of picture oranges and in their homes plastic fruit and dried gourds have become the apotheosis of interior décor. Furthermore, the Boltzmanns have a compulsive inclination to think of their lives in terms of movies – that is, predestined to achieve climactic crescendos, truly meaningful moments, and a grand finale. The disconnect between what life is and what it is meant to be become a painful backdrop in the daily reality of these Boltzmann entities, and physical experience, far from being languid and pleasurable, is a conceptual inconvenience. The Botzmanns’ carpet-like lawns seem always to need watering, their children to need chauffeuring. There is a widely advertised maxim to eat small meals – with fliers glued to every tree, sign-post, and church door. The Boltzmann brains are fixated on eating, constantly fantasizing about food, consumption, assimilation of another entity, but disembodied as they are they never actually eat. Somehow they are unaware of the fact. The brains are brilliantly blind-sighted by the holes in their own physical beings to the holes in their physical beings, but as entropy progresses the fabric of reality tears. Up springs an attic organization known as the SDD – the Sensory Deprivation Department – devoted to gathering information and data about the structure of the universe. They began as a PTA group, then tennis club waxed philosophical and they record their dreams, thoughts, and physical experiences. They become aware, through self-training, that many of their sensations and thoughts come about through unaccountable means (one brain often has the sensation of feeling sand between her toes when there is no reason why she would have sand between her toes, because she in fact had no toes) – and the SDD gradually arrives at the theory that these are sensory hallucinations. Every brain has them but lives largely unaware of them, and the members of the SDD make it their duty to identify the causes. They make progress:



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one brain, fixated on cinema, gradually comes to realize that her life is not actually like a movie, a significant discovery as film is the template to which the brains refer for questions of collective cultural identity, and is the source of many persistent illusions about the meaning of life. They stumble upon a growing body of data regarding people and groups of animals with identical genetic material. Two different people, one on the east coast, one on the west, simultaneously write and publish the same great American novel. All members of the SDD start to have the same recurring dream in which they are lying on the beach while armies of crabs slowly bury them in the sand; halfway through the silica entombment the buried dreamer suddenly realizes that she has bad teeth, is naked, and cannot scream. When a special about the recurring dream is broadcast on NBC, coupled with a report on unbearable levels of global warming, the group begins to speculate that all of these phenomena may have to do with universal entropy. As entropy progresses, time unravels. Technology and fashions lose their foothold in the appropriate times and places and flit in misrelation. Mass hysteria ensues upon the discovery of the Boltzmann stomachs. Illness proliferates in epidemics because populations, both human and animal, have become so genetically homogenous that microbes can easily wipe them out. The universe ends with everyone’s consciousnesses simplified, eradicated, or otherwise condensed into one: a woman known peripherally to all of the brains, a sort of archetypal figure of humanity and propriety who finally, in a fit of ecstasy, bursts into flames and the living universe becomes a thought, decaying stream of consciousness, about what it is like to spontaneously combust until the last brain in the universe realizes that this is not spontaneous combustion but, rather, another Big Bang. Intuitively she understands that the rules of physics are rearranging themselves and everything that has become disorganized and lukewarm is reorganizing. Life will be meaningful again! for at least a little while. Her thoughts, initially concerned for the future, become less self-oriented as herself disintegrates into nothing and everything and her last words are an exclamation of joy at being present to witness the reincarnation of the faulty universe.

Bethany Reece

Law Student, University of Colorado

This piece is, apparently, one of the things that can happen when a fictionwriter-turned-law-student gradually synthesizes a haphazard collection of readings and lectures on physics, neuroscience, theology, and political ennui. For the curious, the Boltzmann Brains are a thought experiment promulgated as a reductio ad absurdum response to theories promulgated by the 19th Century physicist Ludwig Boltzmann, who developed several theories attempting to explain the apparent low-entropy state of the universe. One of his theories (disfavored, but intriguing) is that total entropy is the natural and usual state of the universe, but every now and then random movement will actually create organized structures. The Brains in “Entropy” are fairly faithful to the Brains described in the thought experiment, which holds that the random formation of a disembodied brain floating in the void of space — complete with memories of our known universe — would be more likely to occur than that the universe such as we know it would actually form in its entirety. And, if the Brains have memories and sensory experiences of the universe, they would be ignorant of their disembodied states. Furthermore, if, statistically, existence as a disembodied brain is more likely than embodied existence in a concrete universe, then statistically, we humans are most likely outnumbered in this universe by the Boltzmann Brains. Or perhaps we are Brains ourselves, with no way of knowing as much. It is at this point that the original thought experiment ends: the Boltzmann Brains don’t become self-aware. But I wanted more than that for them. If the Brains can randomly spring into existence, a speck of order in an utterly disordered universe, then anything can happen. Like us, the Brains are seekers. Although I didn’t know it when I started, by the end of writing, I discovered that truth and meaning are real and attainable, and no less so for being ephemeral.

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O C T O B E R / N O V E M B E R 2 01 9




After toiling in the vineyard of commercial litigation, I retired a few years ago. I have always enjoyed painting, but while I worked and raised a family, I rarely had time to do so. For extended periods of time my pursuit of artistic endeavors was limited to doodling in meetings. Still, the urge to paint gnawed away at me. When I retired, I was able to take up painting again. This painting is of our summer cabin on Star Island in the Chippewa National Forest in Minnesota on a glorious summer day. I have lived many places, but one constant in my life has been Star Island. As a child, I spent summers there. While I was working, I spent one week or, if I was lucky, two weeks each summer on Star Island. Now I am back to spending summers on that beautiful island. In this painting, I tried to capture the light, the color, and the mood of the moment and the place.

David Steefel



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Mark Berry “Chilling” Dedicated to his Father

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Bethany Reece

I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it was a lot of fun to paint. It started as a pen drawing, one of many random images doodled in a sketchpad of equally incongruous musings. It is possible that the tooth is the spectral embodiment of some uncomfortable piece of the self-writ large — so large that it annihilates the self from whence it originated. Any toothache sufferer can identify — all thoughts and physical sensations fixate upon the tooth, and it grows to gargantuan proportions. Ideas and feelings can take over like that — especially when they get caught up in the zeitgeist. And where do the clouds of the zeitgeist gather except over cities and towns? So, I guess it makes sense that the tooth is disembodied and large and hovering over buildings, where I can only presume the people within share a collective concern about the tooth hovering eerily outside their windows, in the midst of a lightning storm, angry about something or other.

Law Student, University of Colorado



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Bethany Reece “Ghost Sailor”

Madeline Witte “Untitled”

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O C T O B E R / N O V E M B E R 2 01 9


The Docket recently visited Hudson Hill on a Wednesday afternoon after work. It’s a sort of combination coffee shop and cocktail/wine bar with a great snack menu. Especially in the evening, the brick walls and subdued lighting create a warm and inviting atmosphere. The Docket skipped the coffee and went straight for the cocktails, wine and beer! There was a broad range of unique and tasty cocktails with interesting ingredients such as mezcal, chamomile, and guava. The wine and beer selections covered the gamut and would satisfy any taste. There were also snacks available, including a smoked bacon pâté that The Docket particularly enjoyed. Other possibilities included choices of Italian and English cheeses, and baguettes.

LOCATION 619 E. 13th Ave. Denver, CO 80203 hudsonhilldenver.com GETTING A TABLE Open seating. Reservations not Required.

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METRO VOLUNTEER LAWYERS MAKE A DIFFERENCE Through the Family Law Court Program, volunteers assist clients with uncomplicated, uncontested dissolution of marriage or allocation of parental responsibility cases. There are two stages where we are in need of volunteers: (1) Client Meetings, where volunteer attorneys, law students, and paralegals assist clients in filling out the documents needed to initiate their cases, and (2) Permanent Orders Hearings, where volunteer attorneys meet with clients to prepare the final documents needed to submit to the court, and then represent the client solely for the duration of the hearing that same day.

Volunteer with MVL’s


denbar.org/mvl I 303-830-8210 22


Volunteer today.

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DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME? | KAMA MCCONAUGHY Do you remember your first time? Do you remember feeling nervous and excited and not sure what to expect? Were your palms sweaty? Did you have butterflies? I’m speaking, of course, about the first time you appeared in court as an attorney! What did you think I meant? I recently had the pleasure of appearing in court with a newly licensed attorney, Nathaniel “Rioux” Jordan, through Metro Volunteer Lawyers (MVL). How did Rioux’s first court appearance come about? I have been an MVL board member for the past two years as a representative for the 18th Judicial District. The law firm where I work is primarily comprised of civil litigation attorneys with a four-member family law group. Unlike our family law group, court appearances are not a weekly (or even a monthly) occurrence for most of the civil litigation attorneys, and appearing in court at all is a very rare occurrence for new associates. Rioux was sworn in and joined our firm in November 2018, after having passed the July Colorado Bar Exam. Like many young attorneys practicing in civil litigation, Rioux has spent the past eight-plus months researching and writing briefs and observing depositions. Like many young attorneys, Rioux was eager to go to court, but the opportunity had not yet presented itself. When I approached Rioux about volunteering for MVL at a Family Law Court Program, he eagerly said “yes!” Not only was Rioux looking forward to his first court appearance, but like so many new lawyers, he sincerely believes in giving back to the community. I am relieved to find many younger attorneys are still instilled with the importance of volunteering their time and legal talents starting in law school, with many law schools mandating that they volunteer a set number of hours to graduate. Rioux was no exception and was required to have 50 pro bono hours to graduate from the University of Denver Sturm College of Law. Rioux and I signed up for the Family Law Court Program (FLCP) in Arapahoe County for a May appearance. The FLCP program is a legal clinic held for low-income parties on a monthly or semi-monthly basis in Adams, Arapahoe, Denver, Douglas, and Jefferson counties. FLCP cases are always non-contested. Depending on the day of the clinic, volunteer attorneys provide services ranging from conducting an initial intake meeting to walking the parties through the process and completing the necessary paperwork to file with the court, to appearing for the final permanent orders hearing. We signed up for a date when permanent orders hearings were taking place. When Rioux and I arrived at the Arapahoe County District Court, Elizabeth Jones, the FLCP coordinator from MVL, was already present. Elizabeth advised us there was only one hearing that day for an allocation of parental responsibilities, and she provided us with all of the information we needed to meet with our client and finalize the Parenting Plan. Rioux and I were introduced to our client, “Steve,” and his child’s mother, “Julie.” We went over the terms each party wanted for parenting time and decision-making authority, which provided Rioux the opportunity to engage in settlement negotiations. We helped Steve work out a parenting time schedule with Julie and finish their Parenting Plan.

It was time to appear in front of the magistrate to take testimony from the parties regarding the terms of their agreement. Elizabeth provided Rioux with a list of questions he was required to ask Steve during his testimony. Rioux went through each of the questions seamlessly and the Parenting Plan was approved. Steve was very grateful for Rioux’s help. Rioux and I both had the satisfaction of knowing we helped young parents reach an agreement regarding their young child. And we were able to do so in less than three hours! What does this mean for attorneys reading this article?

Do you remember your first time? Do you remember feeling nervous and excited and not sure what to expect? Were your palms sweaty? Did you have butterflies? Whether it is your first time appearing in court, or your hundredth, MVL and low-income families need your help. MVL’s staff makes appearing at an FLCP clinic a convenient and easy way to give back to the community. Fortunately, it does not matter if you do not have prior family law experience. MVL’s mission is to help facilitate access to justice. To that end, MVL staff will be present to answer any questions you may have. As a volunteer with MVL, you will be provided with a comprehensive list of forms that need to be completed, along with a script of questions to ask your client when he or she is testifying. For you young attorneys, please consider taking the time to either volunteer with MVL at an FLCP or take on a pro bono family law case. MVL can provide you with a mentor and you will gain invaluable legal knowledge and court experience while helping a client who cannot afford legal representation. Rioux’s next court appearance? He has agreed to accept a contested pro bono family law case with me serving as his mentor. I told him the second time is much easier. To volunteer with MVL, you can go to the MVL website at denbar.org/mvl.

KAMA MCCONAUGHY focuses her practice in all areas of family law. During law school, she was an associate editor of The Tulane International and Comparative Law Journal.

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“What the...? Amazon rain forest? What in the Hell are you even saying, and who the Hell are these people, Oscar?” Wylie spat the words out in a rapid stream as he tried to adjust his eyes to the bizarre scene before him. Mazey stood next to him, slack-jawed, her vacant stare suggesting she may have been going into shock. Oscar calmly walked over to where Logan was tied to the



tree, and casually loosened the ropes. Logan slumped to the ground, shaking. The Wolf People tribesmen kept their distance. The anaconda was nowhere to be seen. “You lot thought you would get rich faking my disappearance, eh? Oh, yeah, I heard the whole thing. You didn’t bloody well think you could pull it off, did you?” Oscar

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laughed as he said this. Wylie grew even more puzzled. Where did that English accent come from? None of this made any sense. “Oscar, damn you,” Wylie shouted, “tell us what’s going on here. And since when does a California boy like you talk like an Oxford Don?” “Oh… thiiiiis?” Oscar said dramatically exaggerating his Oxfordian received English. “That rot about Califor-

nia, parents in a terrible accident, and all that? Pure cover story, mate. Could hardly have expected you all to go along with me in this little interdimensional aventure incroyable had I filled you all in from the beginning, eh?” “Very well then — I suppose I have played this charade long enough. My name is not Oscar, of course. Whoever would name their boy something that plebeian? It is Nigel-- Nigel Hempstead. And I’m not in my twenties — I’m actually a good bit older, though remarkably well tended to, and you needn’t know more than that. These people here? They work for me. I own a little enterprise that specializes in the sort of work that doesn’t exactly dance about the headlines, to put it mildly.” Nigel Hempstead? Wylie w ondered to himself where he had heard that name before… “ Oh, it all started out innocently enough — after Oxford, a few of my mates and I started a little tech company, writing software for video games. Made my first ten million quid at that, actually — a tidy little living.” “Along the way, the chaps and I had a bit of a falling out, you might say. They were content making the sort of dreck your twelve-year-old brother plays all night in the basement, while I — let’s just say I had my sights set on something a tad more challenging. So — we split the company up. A few years later, the lads sold their shares to Nintendo for an absolute bundle and now spend their time in Mallorca and the south of France, cavorting with women of dubious mores and drinking far too much ridiculously overpriced French brandy. I embarked on the work that has culminated in what you’re looking at here. Not to oversimplify too much— well, of course it’s too much, really, as you wouldn’t understand if I told you everything — what you are experiencing is virtual reality, sans headgear.” Wylie’s spinning head wasn’t getting any better. VR? he wondered. How can that be? Nigel continued. “It turns out that some of my earlier work attracted the attention of some pretty powerful people with plenty of disposable cash, and connections I hadn’t yet made. Together, we took my little enterprise to the next level. This technology, as you might imagine, is in fairly high demand by the military forces of the world. With unlimited capital, my research team and I have progressed quite nicely. What started out as nothing more elaborate

than electronic camouflage and concealment has turned into, well, this!” Nigel gestured broadly at the “rain forest” that shimmered all around them. Wylie looked over at Mazey and Logan. Logan was still lying down, and Mazey was cradling his head in her lap, trying to get him to come around. She still had a panicked look in her eyes as she said, “But Oscar — How -- how did we go from northern Australia to the Amazon Rain Forest in the blink of an eye? And why are you doing this to us?” “Mazey, my dear,” Nigel dripped condescendingly, “It’s Nigel. Please get used to using it, as I am quite fond of the name, and never really cared for Oscar. And you don’t really think you are actually in the Amazon, do you? I’m good, but even I haven’t mastered teleportation. You are right where you were before our little journey, at Wujal Wujal Falls. But be careful, and don’t wander around too terribly muchbecause of the AI shroud I have in place here, the terrain you see is not the terrain you’re standing on, so I’d hate to see you wander over the Falls.” As Nigel said this, Wylie looked at the “Wolf people.” They were no longer wearing wolf pelt coverings — when had they changed clothes? Wylie wondered. Instead, they wore standard blue Aussie workman coveralls and scuffed Blundstone boots. They were chatting and smoking amiably, conversing in Aussie English with each other. They seemed to be standing in the sun, which was odd, as Logan, Wylie and Mazey still stood under the deep “Amazonian” forest canopy. Logan spoke, angrily this time. “So, if we are floating around in some AI construct, why do your workmen over there seem like they’re just taking a smoke break?” “Oh, my dear, skeptical, but quite dense, friend Logan — you still don’t quite have this, do you?” As I said — we are all back at Wujal Wujal, where I maintain my VR Research and Development labs. Those workmen you see aren’t even part of your little augmented reality — they are just carrying out their duties, now that they are done assisting with the preliminaries.” Each of you is experiencing this in your own minds, not in a shared experience. I have modified your settings to remove the shroud on them, so you can begin to come around a bit more naturally. If I wished, I could send you, Wylie, off to the Antarctic while Mazey and Logan here could enjoy some nice jazz in a little boite in Nice. In fact,

I’m not really here, either — I’m back at the lab, chatting with you through my systems interface. I must say, this latest experiment has worked out far better than my R&D Team had predicted. None of you really saw through any of it, did you? In fact, you all really still think you’re in a clearing in the Amazon Rain Forest, don’t you? Brilliant!” Nigel seemed genuinely excited. “So, Wylie, Logan, and Mazey — consider yourselves the first successful human subjects of my latest prototype — comprehensive, enveloping, VR, so powerful that it can be applied to multiple subjects at once, remotely, without them even being aware of it. My, my — our Pentagon friends will be most pleased when I fill them in on how well our little adventure has worked today.” Wylie looked at Nigel, who appeared to him to be fully formed, only feet away. He walked over to Nigel. None of this made any sense. Instinctively, Wylie inched closer to Nigel, thinking that if he took a swing at him, maybe he could tell if he was “real” or just some sort of VR hologram. Nigel watched with detached interest as Wylie approached and took a swing. With lightning reflexes, he shot his hand out and grasped Wylie’s fist holding it tightly. “You were expecting something more, how to put it, ephemeral, weren’t you?” Nigel said, laughing. “Oh my most gullible traveling companion, you have much to learn. I remain fully able to interact with you as though I were standing next to you because, of course, I am standing next to you.” “But never let it be said that Nigel Hempstead cruelly left his friends in the dark. When we are done this afternoon, you will realize that your little harebrained scheme to snatch a few thousand from some distant relatives of mine, which you would have quickly come to realize don’t exist, was positively Lilliputian compared to what I can do for you.” They all watched, mesmerized, as Nigel walked to what to them appeared to be some sort of sacrificial altar. Nigel reached out and moved his hand over the rock surface. Just then, the group found themselves standing in bright sunlight, the sound of Wujal Wujal falls roaring just to their right. “What the--?” Wylie couldn’t get the rest of the words out. His attention was drawn instead to the large, glass and steel multi-storied structure just to the east of the Falls. How had he not noticed that before, he wondered?

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It’s the end of yet another long day. He looks at his desk, and realizes, for at least the fifth time this afternoon, just how little he’s accomplished, again. He was shut up in his office all day, even working through lunch, but he hasn’t really made any headway. He probably legitimately billed only an hour and some change. The stack of unopened mail remains unopened and, what’s worse, it’s grown. Did he see that one of those was from Attorney Regulation? The message light on his phone blinks to remind him, as if he’d been able to forget, of the calls that went unanswered, and the voicemails not returned. If he’s honest with himself, it’s not that he was really too busy to answer, he just couldn’t bring himself to deal with another call. He can’t even bear to think about his overflowing email inbox. He’s



bone-tired, overwhelmed, and afraid. He has no idea what to do about any of it. All he can think is, “How did I get here?” She’s startled awake when her phone rings 15 minutes after her hearing was scheduled to begin. Recognizing the number as the judge’s chambers, she lets it go straight to voice mail. The clients were in town yesterday to prepare for the hearing. They had dinner and drinks after the long workday ended. Now it’s the morning after, and the young up-and-coming associate is trying to remember, “How many did I have?” and “What, exactly, did I say? “As she hurriedly readies herself for the day,

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she continues to try to shake the cobwebs. She’s got to put on her game-face and do her best to re-create the events of the previous night. All the while she’s trying to create a plausible reason why she didn’t make it to court on time, again. She’s been doing internet research on depression and substance use disorders in lawyers. She wonders, not for the first time, “Is what happened last night what they mean by a ‘blackout?’” The foregoing scenarios are real. No, they’re not an exact recounting of the specifics in any one case. They’re more of a collage of the facts and circumstances

commonly described by lawyers who seek assistance at The Colorado Lawyers Assistance Program (“COLAP”), or by those concerned about them. That said, these scenarios are indeed real, all too real. Right now, today, there are lawyers, judges, and law students struggling in such horrific ways, and sometimes worse. Taken as individual incidents, these might be written off as a bad day, or as unprofessional conduct not to be repeated. These scenarios, however, indicate that this is not the case for these lawyers. This has become the rule, not the exception. The explanations for such situations are many, often multi-faceted, and varied; however, at the stage described, both of these “impaired lawyers” appear to be in serious trouble. What is it about the practice of law, or those who’ve chosen it, that makes situations like these such a recurring theme? According to the ABA, “As many as one in five lawyers is a problem drinker — twice the national rate.” Likewise, according to multiple studies, lawyers experience depressive and other mental health symptoms, including substance use disorders and addictions, at a higher rate than the general public. So, do individuals come to the practice wired for this type of dysfunction, or does law practice somehow create or exacerbate depression, anxiety, substance use disorders, and other behavioral health issues? The short (tongue in cheek) answer is “Yes.” As in case-specific examples, the reasons for such issues are varied, and analysis has and does prove useful in some settings. For our purposes, however, let’s not focus so much on possible causation as on the solution. Thankfully, regardless of the “whys” or even the specific “what’s” of the problem (addiction, depression, etc.), the bulk of the solution lies in one simple two-step process. Those steps are: (1) acknowledgment that something isn’t right, and (2) asking for assistance. As lawyers, we are familiar with “something isn’t right.” It’s why clients come seeking our services. Like many professionals, however, we are less likely to ac-

knowledge such in our own personal and professional lives. Things move quickly. There are deadlines to meet, payroll to make, motions to file, discovery responses due … the list can seem unending. Who has time to notice if one’s mood is a little off today? Moreover, who is more deserving of an after-hours drink, or several, than the lawyer after a hard day? Again, as an isolated incident, the odd afternoon of “less than productive” activity in the office, “one too many” in a professional setting, or tardiness to or absence from court are not matters about which one must be extremely concerned. When they become repetitive, when “no-shows” are frequent or the norm, when calls, messages, and emails go unanswered for an extended period, “something isn’t right.” Acknowledging this is the first and most vital step.

All he can think is, “How did I get here?” For many of us, it takes someone else to bring things like this to our attention. We are living and perceiving our daily experience subjectively, and changes, even significant ones, may be difficult to detect. This is especially true when stress, depression, substance use disorders, process addictions, or other issues begin to hijack our brains. These are, after all, brain issues. More often than not, as impairment increases, perception is skewed, and the ability to detect shifts in one’s own conduct may be limited or nonexistent. It is, therefore, incumbent upon the entire profession to be vigilant regarding the welfare of our colleagues. When we observe that something is amiss, we need to speak up. We may need to speak directly to the colleague to express concern and offer assistance. In other instances, we may need to reach out to others who can be trusted to hold the information in confidence, and possibly help provide assistance for the struggling colleague.

“Asking for help.” I don’t recall that class from law school, and I assume you don’t either. It’s not something for which lawyers are readily recognized. Our profession can often be one where perceived signs of weakness are closely guarded. It is often very hard for lawyers to admit that they may have a problem they cannot outwork, out-think, or otherwise conquer. Lawyer impairment is such a problem. As a rule, it cannot be handled without assistance. Despite what we may have taken from our training, at least in this circumstance, it is okay to ask for help. In fact, it is necessary. Because the “asking” may be difficult, as with acknowledgment, it may be necessary for someone else to ask for help on behalf of a struggling colleague. Certainly, at some point, the impaired attorney must “buy in” to this process, but the initial call for help must sometimes come from another. Our stories opened in chaos and looming disaster. How will they end? If our friends in these scenarios cannot or will not acknowledge that “something isn’t right” and reach out for help, or if someone doesn’t reach out on their behalf, the prognosis can be quite grim. Left unchecked, untreated mental illness and addiction can ruin careers, relationships, and health. If, however, they will reach out for help, it will be there. In most cases, especially when lawyers seek or otherwise receive assistance “early,” the likelihood of healthy personal and professional recovery is high. If one or both of these scenarios describes you or someone you know, please know that help is available. Please make that first call. Call COLAP: 303-986-3345.

CHIP GLAZE is the Deputy Director of the Colorado Lawyer Assistance Program. Mr. Glaze is a Mississippi licensed attorney and licensed marriage and family therapist with extensive experience in behavioral health counseling, family therapy, and crisis intervention with professionals.

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A Curmudgeon’s Guide To Driving. A curmudgeon is defined as a badtempered person, especially an old one. That description suits me to a “T”, so when The Docket editors asked me to be the publication’s resident curmudgeon, I readily accepted. I had hoped to channel my inner Andy Rooney and be able to say things in a squeaky voice, like “Do you ever wonder why I still use a typewriter four decades into the era of the word processor?” NOTE: To all you millennials, GenXers, or whatever group of yuppies is out there who I had to yell at to get off of my lawn, if you don’t know who Andy Rooney was, ask your parents or grandparents. Or Google him, if that’s what you kids are doing these days. Unfortunately, The Docket doesn’t have a squeaky voice function, so I can only put down the musings of a curmudgeon on paper. Today’s thoughts have to do with stupid drivers, all of whom should have their licenses immediately revoked,



without the benefit of due process. There are thos e who enter an intersection that they can’t clear out of before the light changes, thus clogging the intersection and creating gridlock. We need a tow truck posted at each intersection to immediately cart these idiots’ cars out of the way. Then there are the despicable bozos who see that a lane is closed up ahead, and speed along the lane that is about to disappear until it ends, so that they can then cut in on the lane full of drivers who courteously moved over as soon as they saw the “Left Lane Closed Ahead” sign. I don’t let these morons cut in on me, and I will ram them out of the way if necessary. Tailgaters. Say no more. I like to continually tap on my brakes just to confuse them. Uninsured motorists, drivers under suspension, slow drivers and drunk drivers. They make me yearn for the good

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old horse and buggy days (OK, I am not that old, but sometimes don’t you think it would be nice if we lived in a simpler era?) And while we are on the subject, if RTD wants me to ride light rail in order to ease traffic congestion, why are all their stations located nowhere near me and their trains never go where I want to get to? And why does organic peanut butter always come out in lumps, rather than be spreadable? And whose idea was it, anyway, to put a 5G tower in my front yard? 3G, let alone dial-up, was good enough for us back in the day and should be OK with all of you yuppies now. There are many other things I will complain about, as soon as all of you get off my lawn and fix the problems described above. And don’t call me with any questions — you’re all just too annoying.

Laszlo Scofflaw


Mixing business and pleasure means learning forever. I flew to Toronto for an academic conference for media law professors and other educators of journalism and mass communication. But I booked a flight a few days before the beginning of the convention. I diligently researched tourist attractions and wasted no time teaching myself about the culture once I arrived. My first stop was the Royal Ontario Museum. The special horror exhibit included movie posters of “Creature from the Black Lagoon” and Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula. It also included a special exhibit from which creepy, red holographic light shone on the face of anyone who looked down, against a backdrop of a “Frankenstein” poster. There was also a variety of ethnic art. I came away from the museum versed in various genres, from Roman pottery to Dutch Rembrandt paintings to Chinese pagodas.

There was another type of art in the Distillery District: hip graffiti art, meaning paintings on the sides of buildings and sold on the street. I saw a large peace sign made of flowers and a heart statue, as well as provocative, semi-nude paintings and a mural of a candle melting on someone’s face. Art history was not the only subject in the grand classrooms of Canadian culture. Sports are a major pastime in Toronto, so I strolled into the Hockey Hall of Fame museum. It glorified the

likes of Wayne Gretzky and Guy LaFleur, housing the jerseys of these champions. There was an interactive exhibit of the Stanley Cup, where museum patrons could be photographed with the award. People could view collections of pucks, nets, gloves, helmets, and hockey sticks. The museum offered a good lesson in the strategy of the game. Along with art and sports came architectural lessons. But I found out that to get to the top of the CN Tower, which was the world’s tallest tower until 2009, you had to wait two hours and pay 38 Canadian dollars. I settled for a photo of the outside instead. I encountered a similar situation with the Casa Loma. This castle appeared in the movies “X-Men” and “Goosebumps,” but the museum required a long wait, so I remained content with the outer view of the Gothic-style architecture. Both the CN Tower and the Casa Loma are modern structural wonders. Ontario Science Centre included tons of interactive exhibits and machines on which children could play, including a Space Center with a Hubble telescope on display. There was a Question of Truth exhibit on the fifth floor. It contained, among other things, a phone that connected accents to photographs of people’s faces. Guessing which people were talking was not so simple a task, but it was an edifying experience that taught about how cultural biases and prejudices could affect scientific research. My favorite section contained human body exhibits, one on diabetes, one

called “The Skinny on Fat,” and an ode to blood complete with vials of red liquid. The science education stretched into geography and zoology at Ripley’s Aquarium and the Toronto Zoo, the largest zoo in Canada. Ripley’s aquarium featured nurse and sand tiger sharks, an octopus, a lobster, and jellyfish. The zoo, by contrast, is much larger and split into general regions of the world, like the white lions and giraffes in the African Savannah, the polar bears of Tundra, and the Mayan Ruins. It was in this last section of the zoo that I learned that South America contained black and spotted jaguars beside capybaras and flamingos. The flamingos weren’t blocked off by glass or by fences, so I managed to get a spectacular pink view. Or maybe it was a spectacular rosy view that I had, not just of the zoo but of Toronto as a whole. It was culture-packed, with art, science, architecture, geography,

and interactive sports journalism. I felt like I was acquiring knowledge wherever I went in Toronto. In other words, touring Toronto wasn’t so different from reading a legal treatise. The classrooms of Canada were instructional, and the visuals of Toronto painted a rosy portrait.

ELIZABETH THARAKAN is an attorney, journalist and adjunct professor of media law. She is also a sunset mountain jogger, amateur chef and true friend.

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et’s assume for a moment that the hoax of climate change is real.

temps and songs on that dusty vinyl rescued from your mom’s attic.

Call her and thank her for explaining to the 8-year-old you why the … ahem … more distinguished version should start exploring alternatives to air travel. Or call the National Weather Service to inquire as to the accuracy of their early August report showing near-nationwide heat waves with temperatures inching closer to forced “stay-cations.”

Now that we’ve gotten over that little speedbump, raise your hand if you’ve slogged through an airport recently, searching for the least crowded bar serving $14 well drinks, all thanks to Mother Nature’s insistence that your flight be delayed or canceled. Many of us know this tale so well that it’s beginning to feel like “Groundhog Day,” but without the benefit of having Bill Murray join us in our plight … not that he’d be exempt. In fact, just this year there have been so many delays and cancelations due to weather that finding an estimated number just for DIA puts Google to the test. It makes sense to most of us that two bomb cyclones in a single year may put a damper on some snow-birding south or snowboarding west. But summer can be just as brutal. “Heat wave” has become common vernacular in parts of the country where the term was previously used for body

while your teacher was desperately trying to teach you how to get an egg into a two-liter bottle using just a match?

What does 1960s Motown have to do with travel and climate change? Everything. According to a 2017 article in Forbes magazine, Bombardier CRJ’s can only withstand 118 degrees and larger Boeing jets can’t get much past 125 in order to operate properly. Why? Remember in third grade when you were just learning to write those “check yes or no” notes to your crush

Think you’ll outsmart nature and finally see Route 66 from start to finish? Au contraire! In July of this year, the National Weather Service warned of heat waves one week and cold fronts with flash flooding and damaging winds the next. So if the buckled roads don’t squelch your determination, the rushing waters of the Plains States just might. Angry at our wrath-bearing planet? Watch that finger-pointing. All that air travel — both the on-time and the delayed — is now fair play, according to the New York Times. In his June 2019 article “If Seeing the World Helps Ruin It, Should We Stay Home,” Andy Newman cites chilling scientific conclusions such as this: One 2,500-mile

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while on board. Particulate counts on cruise ships are comparable to — or worse than — the air quality in Beijing.

passenger’s contribution to emissions melts 32 square feet of Arctic summer sea ice. And a 600-mile drive to an Airbnb with a peaceful spa tub might as well be a giant flame-thrower to the Arctic, melting 90 square feet of ice per person.

Alas, how can we safely see the planet and save it at the same time? It seems the experts agree: prioritize, protest, and offset. Prioritize your travel, opting for the less-emitting road trip over the flight, the flight over the cruise. And before kicking those tires and lighting those fires, toss some cash toward offsetting sites to make up for your contribution to polar bear homelessness. Throw your money into methane emanations instead.

That’s a chunk the size of our beloved Jeep Unlimiteds. Want to get especially gruesome? A scientist from my alma mater, University of Tennessee — where the rumor of dead bodies under Neyland Stadium and a body farm just across the river is true — estimated that the average American generates three times the global average of carbon dioxide annually, a lethal dosage to the third rock we live atop. Alright, then. No road trips, no sky miles. Let’s all just charge the gangway of the closest cruise ship and take “King of the World” selfies with Celine songs in the background and shuffleboard games taking on SEC vs. Big Ten-esque rivalries. That should solve all our problems.

32 •


Except … according to the International Council on Clean Transportation, the most efficient ships sailing the seven seas emit three to four times more carbon dioxide than those pesky jets. And if you’re still set on shopping at the dockside markets of Jamaica, keep your face mask handy

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JENNIFER O’CONNELL is a managing partner of Queener Law in Denver, representing personal injury clients involved in automobile, motorcycle, b i c y c l e , a n d t r u c k a c c i d e n t s .”

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denbar.org/members/waterman-fund O C T O B E R / N O V E M B E R 2 01 9



MEET YOUR DBA YLD COUNCIL | SHELBY KNAFEL ple, write a lot, and impact the public for good. If you were not a lawyer, what career would you choose? If I hadn’t become a lawyer, I probably would have become a pastor, or a brewer, or both. After spending 10 years working for a global non-profit in Russia and post-Katrina New Orleans, I decided it was time for a new career and went to law school because I wanted to help people solve complex problems, write a lot, and impact the public for good. So far that’s worked out. I love being a lawyer.


Law School: University of Denver Sturm College of Law

Law School: University of Denver Sturm College of Law

Firm: Shook Hardy & Bacon LLP

Firm: Brown & Kannady, LLC Why I became a Lawyer: I went to Northeastern University for undergrad. Through the co-op program at the school, I spent six months working in the copy room of a medium-to-large law firm in downtown Boston. It was my first experience in a law firm, and it was a lot of work. If you could change anything about Denver, what would it be? Never forget where you came from.

PAUL JORDAN (TREASURER) Law School: University of Denver Sturm College of Law Firm: Sutton | Booker | P.C. Why I became a Lawyer: I became a lawyer in order to pursue a challenging career with the opportunity to help others and continually learn. How do you de-stress? Nothing beats a sunny park day with family, friends, and my dog, Lu.

DAVID COATS (SECRETARY) Law School: University of Denver Sturm College of Law Firm: Denver District Attorney’s Office Why I became a Lawyer: I became a lawyer because I wanted to serve peo-



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The best advice you have ever been given: Run your own race. As the first attorney in my family, I wanted to take time to both learn from the courts and give back before moving to private practice. As such, I began my career as an appellate law clerk with the Colorado Court of Appeals, the Colorado Supreme Court, and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit. I then oversaw a statewide pro bono program with Equal Justice Wyomin g, an independent division of the Wyoming Supreme Court. It is only now, several years into my career, that I am entering firm life. I wouldn’t change my career decisions for anything, but not comparing my journey to the traditional path is challenging. Learning how to truly run my own race is the only thing that has allowed me to celebrate others’ success while building my own.

practicing yoga or journaling when I’m stressed.

initiatives. Those interests informed my desire to attend law school. I guess my childhood teachers were right in the end. The best advice you have ever been given: The best advice I have ever received is that “envy is the thief of joy.” My grandma used to tell me this any time I wanted something. I used to ignore her and get really competitive, but I have started to realize that focusing on my own success has helped with my overall happiness.

JOEY MARK Law School: University of Denver Sturm College of Law


Firm: Moye White LLP

Law School: University of Colorado Boulder

Why I became a Lawyer: I am an associate in the trial section. To pursue a career where I can engage with interesting people, solve problems, and be creative. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? Don’t do anything stupid. How do you de-stress? Getting outside as much as possible.

What has been your favorite DBA YLD event or program and why? My favorite DBA YLD event is either Top Golf or the Rockies game. I really enjoy any event that is outside and that I would be doing anyway where there are new people to meet!

Firm: Recht Kornfeld P.C. Why I became a Lawyer: I interned in the public defender’s office and saw how big an impact a lawyer can have on an individual’s life. I practice criminal defense, I really wanted to find a career where I could make a difference and I think I’ve found it! Bucket List: Ride in a hot air balloon in Cappadocia Turkey at sunrise. How do you de-stress? By doing any and all outdoor activities, mostly hiking and biking.

DANIEL ZARNOWSKI Law School: St. Thomas University School of Law. Firm: Miller and Law, P.C. Why I became a Lawyer: To try to help others in the community as a person in a position of responsibility.


What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? Don’t do anything stupid.

Law School: University of Washington

How do you de-stress? Hang out with my family, golf, or smoke meats!

Firm: Zaner Harden Law, LLP Why I became a Lawyer: I wanted to fight for the powerless, be a voice for the voiceless, and make a difference in the world. How do you de-stress? After a stressful day, I like going home and cooking a big meal. There’s something really relaxing about chopping vegetables or stirring a simmering pot while I listen to my favorite songs or a good podcast. It’s a chance to be creative, to try new things, and to feel accomplished with the delicious results. I also enjoy

NICK PEPPLER Law School: University of Oregon Firm: Armstrong Teasdale, LLP Why I became a Lawyer: I became a lawyer because when I was a little kid teachers told me I should be a lawyer. I realize now that may have not been a compliment, but it guided me to start my career running state political campaigns and working on policy

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YLD CORNER | KATHARINE LUM The DBA YLD attended the Rockies-Giants game on August 4. The Rockies won 6-2! Also, we had beautiful weather for the game (or at least better than last year because it didn’t rain the whole game). Nolan Arenado hit two home runs, and Trevor Story added another. Denver native Kyle Freeland pitched five innings and struck out five batters. It was great to hang out with some DBA YLDers at Coors Field.

The DBA YLD had its first annual fourteener hike! A group of YLDers from all over the metro area participated in an early August climb of Mt. Bierstadt, ending at the summit (14,060 feet!). We got an early morning start, meeting at

DBA YLD and the Young Nonprofit Professionals Network partnered on a happy hour at the Forney Museum of Transportation. YLDers were able to explore the museum and enjoy a delicious beverage while engaging with the Young Nonprofit Professionals and learning about ways to get involved with the nonprofits in our community.

the trailhead at 5:00 a.m. Everyone was a warrior and got some quality networking time in as well!


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O C T O B E R / N O V E M B E R 2 01 9


Changes Otis & Bedingfield, LLC is pleased to announce the promotion of attorney Corey W. Moore to Senior Associate with the firm Corey’s practice at O&B focuses on business and real estate transactions and estate planning.

J. Ryann Peyton J. Ryann Peyton was recently awarded the American Bar Association’s Rosner & Rosner Young Lawyer Professionalism Award. Peyton is the Executive Director of the Colorado Attorney Mentoring Program (CAMP). Ms. Peyton is widely regarded as a leader in the promotion of professionalism and professional development, and for developing CAMP into a national model for attorney mentoring. Peyton is a consultant and advocate for Colorado’s LGBT community, and sits on the boards of the Colorado LGBT Bar Association, Colorado LGBT Bar Foundation, GLBT Community Center of Colorado, CBA Board of Governors, and Center for Legal Inclusiveness.

Want to be featured here? Featured and Highlighted Annoucment: $50. Word count max is 165 characters with a high resolution photo (300 dpi). Only 1 per issue available. Send your text and photo to advertising@cobar.org. This is a first come first serve spot.

Moye White LLP is pleased to announce that Daniel C. Wennogle has joined the firm’s Litigation Section as a partner, where he will focus on construction and real estate matters. After practicing workers’ compensation law for 33 years, both as an insurance defense and claimants’ attorney, Julie D. Swanberg is excited to announce that she is retiring from this practice and moving into the next phase of her legal career. She has accepted a position in the federal service as an Attorney Advisor in the Office of Medicare Hearings and Appeals (OHMA) in Albuquerque, NM. Lewis Roca Rothgerber Christie announced that Angela Vichick has joined the firm’s Denver office as an associate in the ligation practice group. Wilson Elser announced the addition of Emily Aguero and Jane Lucero as partners to the firm’s Denver office. Jackson Kelly PLLC is pleased to announce the addition of Karl F. Kumli to the Firm’s Denver office. Kumli joins the Energy, Manufacturing, and Mining Law Groups where he will focus primarily on workplace health and safety. Davis Graham & Stubbs LLP is pleased to announce that the firm’s Trial Department has added and Mike Richardson. His practice will continue to have an emphasis on litigation pertaining to complex financial restructurings and bankruptcy matters.

Davis Graham & Stubbs LLP is pleased to announce that Lana L. Rupprecht has joined the firm’s Employment & Labor Law Group as of counsel. Springer & Steinberg are pleased to announce that Craig Silverman has become a member of its team. Woods & Aitken LLP is pleased to announce that construction attorney Alvin M. Cohen has joined the firm’s growing Denver office. The Law Office of Greg Quimby, P.C. is pleased to announce that M. Addison Freebairn has joined the firm. Moye White LLP is pleased to announce attorneys Spencer Malley and Kevin Tibolt have joined the firm as associates in the Real Estate Section and the Business Section, respectively. Moye White LLP is pleased to announce Heidi J. Gassman has joined the firm as a partner in the trusts and estates planning practice. Lewis Bess Williams & Weese announced that Noelle Riccardella has joined the firm as director.

Good Things Holland & Hart is proud to announce that Partner Maureen Witt was inducted into the International Academy of Trial Lawyers (IATL) at the organization’s mid-year meeting held July 24-28. IATL is an international legal association recognized as the most prestigious organization of trial lawyers in the world. Ryley Carlock & Applewhite is pleased to announce that Phi-Hang Tran has been re-elected for a second term as President/

If you are a DBA member and you’ve moved, been promoted, hired an associate, taken on a partner, received a promotion or award, or begun service on a new board, we’d love to hear from you. Talks, speeches, CLE presentations and political announcements, due to their sheer number, cannot be included. In addition, the Docket cannot print notices of honors determined by other publications (e.g., Super Lawyers, Best Lawyers, etc.) again due to volume. Notices are printed at no cost but must be submitted in writing and are subject to editing and space available. Send all notices to Jessica Espinoza at jespinoza@cobar.org. Announcements will be placed on a first-come, first-served basis.

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LEGAL AFFAIRS Director of Women in eDiscovery’s Denver Chapter. Moye White LLP is pleased to announce five attorneys have been elected to the firm’s 2020 Management Committee. Members are elected by their peers within the firm. The committee includes: William F. Jones: An experienced and accomplished litigator, Billy focuses on complex civil litigation and business disputes. Eric B. Liebman: Eric has represented the business and litigation interests of public and private companies and individuals for more than 20 years. Thomas M. List: As the firm’s managing partner, Tom has more than 29 years of experience in commercial real estate. Patricia J. Rogers: Trish utilizes her business and legal background to prepare for all contingencies to best serve her clients. Edward D. White: Name partner Ted is co-chair of the firm’s Advanced Energy Group.

hers there was to launch Foundations for Practice, a first-of-its-kind effort to identify the competencies, skills, characteristics and qualities that new lawyers need to hit the ground running. Earlier in her career, as manager of online content and development at the Colorado Bar Association CLE, she created and managed cbaclelegalconnection.com, a source of legal information and education for Colorado lawyers that received the 2011 Professional Excellence award from the Association of Continuing Legal Education for use of technology in education.

James Rider Krendl

April 2, 1941 – August 21, 2019

Brick and Morter Women-Owned Moore Williams PLLC, an appellate boutique law firm, launches in Golden, CO.

In Memoriam

William L. Hunnicutt

August 23, 1948 – August 19, 2019 Bill Hunnicutt passed away peacefully in his sleep, of natural causes, on August 19, 2019, with his beloved dog, Bentley, (Humma Humma) by his side. Affectionately called “Number Three” by his mother, Bill was the third of four sons born to Joseph Weldon Hunnicutt and Ethel Binyon Hunnicutt of Fort Worth, Texas. He was the former husband and cherished friend of Jody, and the exceedingly proud father of Hannah and Will, of Denver.

Alli Gerkman

July 25, 1978 – September 2, 2019 Alli died, at the too-young age of 41. Alli was a lawyer and senior director of the Institute for the Advancement of the American Legal System at the University of Denver. A key accomplishment of



Court Commissions, lectured at the University of Denver School of Law, and has been listed in The Best Lawyers in America every year since 1987.

Even though he often threatened to leave the practice of law and start his own fishing show on cable TV, Bill enjoyed a long and distinguished career in Trial Law, Family Law, and Alternative Dispute Resolution. He was a member of the American and Colorado Bar Associations, a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and a Diplomate of the American College of Family Trial Lawyers. He served on several Colorado Supreme

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James Rider Krendl died peacefully on August 21, 2019 with his family at his bedside after a long and courageous battle. Jim was born on April 2, 1941 to Karl and Mary Krendl of Spencerville, Ohio. At a young age, he developed a curiosity and a love of books and public libraries. From the time he was 10 years old, he worked diligently raising tomatoes on his family farm to save money for college. Graduating as the valedictorian of his senior class at Spencerville High School, Jim studied political science at Harvard College, graduating in 1963 magna cum laude. Jim was especially proud that he earned a summa minus on his senior thesis on Anti-Guerilla Combat in Laos from Dr. Henry Kissinger. Jim always wanted to start his own firm and turned down a job at a prestigious New York law firm to move with Cathy to Alaska. After practicing business law for almost two years, Jim and Cathy moved to Denver, Colorado seeking sunshine and warmth. After a few years of practicing with other Denver firms, Jim pursued his dream of starting a Denver law firm that focused on business issues. The firm evolved into Krendl Krendl Sachnoff & Way. Jim was named a Super Lawyer in Colorado from the time the award was first made and a Best Lawyer in Denver in Corporate Law and Mergers and Acquisitions.


Local Events Picture This features membersubmitted photographs and images from Denver Bar Association events. 1 DBA YLD Roll Out the Barrel Awards. This summer the DBA YLD, Metro Caring, and Denver’s legal community participated in DBAYLD’s annual Roll Out the Barrel food drive! On July 25th, Metro Caring recognized and distributed the honorable Soup Can trophies to the law firms who were able to raise the most food and funds. The respective firm categories are measured by size, and range from: 1-21, 22-60, 61-100, 100-150, and 150+. This year 18 firms participated and raised $13,018 in funds and gathered 3,719 lbs. of food! Thank you to all of the lawyers and law firms that participated this year! PHOTO: (L-R) Soup Cans, Judith Ackerman Awards and Dana Dobbins with Matthew Broderick.

2 DU Law’s National Trial Team Champions This spring the National Trial Team at the University of Denver’s Sturm College of Law won the national title for the 2019 National Ethics Trial Advocacy Tournament. In the past two years, the National Trial Team has repeatedly placed in the ‘semifinals or better’ in the tournaments in which they have competed. This comes in the wake of the National Trial Team winning the national title in the Buffalo-Niagara Trial Advocacy Competition last year, which is the nation’s largest law school trial advocacy invitational. PHOTO Champions: (L-R) Coach Garrik Storgaard, Alison Takacs, Leah Perczak, Lauren Knapp, Coach Madalia Maaliki, Sean Cuff.

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Local Events Picture This features membersubmitted photographs and images from Denver Bar Association events. 1 Bench-Bar CLE. On September 18th, various judges throughout Denver participated in interactive breakout sessions. These sessions covered topics about the judicial application process, the judicial interviewing process, transitioning to life on the bench, and life as a judge. The goal of this program was to provide attendees with the information they need to be a successful applicant. Following the breakouts was a networking opportunity that featured speakers and a few members of the Colorado Supreme Court. JUDGES: The Bench-Bar CLE consisted of four, 25-minute long sessions

2 YLD’s Kickball Showdown The Young Lawyer’s Division from the Colorado and Denver Bar Association went head-to-head on September 14th. The Executive Council from each section met at City Park in Denver. The teams kicked, sweat, and laughed their way through 9 innings. In a neckand-neck finish, the DBA-YLD pulled ahead, taking the championship title for their own. It was a fantastic event for all, and even included a celebrity appearance from CBA-YLD council member Maral Arjomandi’s furry friend, Lucy! Lucy was later voted MVP. DBA TEAM SHOT: The Denver Bar Association Young Lawyer’s Division council team.



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WHAT ARE YOU FAVORITE PLACES TO TRAVEL? I love being in nature — whether it’s the mountains, the forest, or floating on the ocean. My most recent favorite place is the del Norte Coastal Redwoods. You can’t even describe the immensity and beauty of these trees. It has to be experienced. FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY? I loved picking out a Christmas tree from the Christmas tree farm! We always did this as a family, and we had to listen to the same Wee Sing for Christmas cassette tape in the car every year. My sister and I also invented the game of “stump jumping,â€? which basically entailed pushing my wheelchair-bound younger brother as fast as we could over the stumps of cut trees. His wheelchair would fly up into the air and he would laugh hysterically. Those were great times. đ&#x;™‚

Jennifer Carty Serves as the assistant attorney general in the Criminal Appeals Section of the Colorado Office of the Attorney General. WHERE DID YOU GO TO LAW SCHOOL AND WHERE ARE YOU CURRENTLY WORKING? I went to the University of Denver, and I am an assistant attorney general in the Criminal Appeals Section of the Colorado Office of the Attorney General. WHY DID YOU BECOME A LAWYER? Honestly? I had a quarter-life crisis, panicked that I hadn’t “achieved enough,� and set my sights on a graduate degree. I picked law school because it seemed like a natural transition from my job as a maritime inspections officer for the U.S. Coast Guard (I was responsible for regulatory and international convention compliance on the shipping industry). WHAT ARE FIVE ADJECTIVES THAT YOU WOULD ASCRIBE YOURSELF Genuine, joyful, perceptive, fighter, kind. WHAT IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU’VE EVER BEEN GIVEN? “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.� — Bill Gates. This is a theme my father instilled in me, but Mr. Gates put it very eloquently!

HOW DO YOU DE-STRESS? I punch things at a local MMA gym! I also meditate daily. WHAT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES THAT YOU HAVE HAD TO OVERCOME? I spent a lot of my young adulthood absorbing societal rejections. I had to find the strength repeatedly to continue believing in my own self-worth and capabilities. That’s not an easy thing to do. My parents and I stopped speaking for a number of years when I came out as gay (they came around, and are absolutely wonderful now). The religion I was raised in told me I was going to hell, and the Coast Guard told me I would lose my job if I talked about the person I loved. Not to mention, I lived in the South for a bit and endured open contempt and harassment from perfect strangers. That’s a recipe for a lot of self-loathing when you are just spreading your wings and testing out your independence. But I kept on keepin’ on. And I’ve been blessed to have had a lot of people who loved me along the way. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF THE LAW? I hike, camp, snowboard, and sing in the Law Club. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Classist attitudes and pedigree worshiping. My dad went to night school at a community college and is one of the smartest people I know. It annoys me to no end when I see someone dismiss an individual as “not worth their time� when they really know nothing about them.

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Profile for Clair Smith

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