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A left-leaning ex-oil exec’s plan to KO Republican gerrymandering? Join their ranks.


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COVER STORY SOCK ‘EM!

Why a left-leaning ex-oil exec. wants you and all your friends to join the Republican party. Cover illustration by Bryan Beach beachouseillustration.com

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The Science of Brewing...

2 | MAY 11, 2017

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PETE SALTAS

Advertising Director Come December, Saltas will celebrate his 10-year anniversary as a City Weekly employee. “Longer if you count the early days when Pops paid me in quarters to empty the garbage cans,” he says. His favorite part of the gig? “Every day is different. Plus, I’ve met some of the coolest people in the city.”

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C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

A P R I L 2 7, 2 0 1 7 | V O L . 3 3

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

Cover story, April 27, “The Block”

Damn, that’s deep. My story was just the same—just a different player, same show.

KEITH HUNTER

Via cityweekly.net Excellent read.

JOE BALLENT Via Facebook Great article. Been there myself (the block and incarceration). It’s cool to see Preacher on the cover.

@ODDONEUTAH

the heritage that the school and campus represent, and those with feelings of deep appreciation—and vision for a Granite encore—have very little power. It’s another example of power=money. No amount of money can bring back the buildings and the other parts of the campus once they’re replaced by houses, a superstore, concrete and blacktop. This legacy will inspire feelings of loss and grief, not of pride. We could really use a superhero about now.

KRIS D.

BRIAN BLITZ,

Via Facebook

We’re moving!

ALAN BEEBE Via Facebook

My life as a former drug dealer, new father and future inspiration. By Stephen Dark

Pickleball for life!

Restore it and turn it into a McMenamin’s schoolhouse with a swimming pool, brewhouse/pub and restaurant. It’s an amazing spot in Washington. They preserve abandoned schools and turn them into massive entertainment and food facilities with multiple restaurants and an indoor swimming pool. Fun place! Via Facebook

Citizen Revolt, April 27, “No to Trump’s agenda”

Opinion, April 27, “The State of Pickleball”

Via Facebook

ALANA CARVER

Salt Lake City

Via Facebook

ROB TENNANT

MARISA JENSE

Having a kid isn’t the happy ending your cover story portrays it as. Given this man’s history and his long line of poor choices (including knocking up a 17-year-old McDonald’s employee?), he still has a long road to walk and more likely than not, it will include more drugs and jail time. Talk with him again in 18 years when he’s perhaps more deserving of hero status.

ROBERT BATH

This is 90 percent of what comes out of my dad’s mouth these days.

Via cityweekly.net Please no Walmart!

Via Twitter

Class of ’80 rules!

Yeah … no. We don’t need any more naive overzealous Mormon boys in government.

LIZ ROBINSON-RICH Via Facebook

STEVE BENCH

Which would be a funny motto because I’ve never seen anybody under 70 playing it.

CHRIS KETH

Via Facebook

The alt-weekly writing about geriatric sports … Via Twitter

VIVIENNE STORCH DAVIES

Remember how anti-Trump you are when you get to keep more of your money when he signs in the new tax code.

SCOTT SIMMONS Via Facebook

News, April 27, “High and Dry”

Thank you for continuing to cover this story. I spent 10 years of my career at Granite and fell in love with the wonderful people (staff, students, neighbors) and the fabulous old buildings. There is plenty of blame to go around for all the circumstances that have brought us to the precipice of demolition, but the bottom line seems to be that those in power have little appreciation for

Via Facebook It’s an amazing spot. They preserve abandoned schools and turn them into massive entertainment and food facilities with multiple restaurants and an indoor swimming pool. Fun place!

ALANA CARVER

The Ocho, April 27, “Eight temporary private-sector jobs for future Utah guv Jason Chaffetz” Future guv? OMFG … no!

With 3.2 beer and ¾ ounce pours, sadly, but I like the thought.

SHAUN RIEDINGER

Five Spot, April 27, John Cottam

My wife and I have been a huge fan of John since we walked into his store The Machine Age a few years ago. He restored and was selling a vintage pair of 1940s machinist glasses that I had to have. They are now one of my prized possessions and I wear them every day. I am often asked where I got them from, I am delighted to refer folks to his store.

CHRIS CALL

PAM WEICK CAMPBELL

Via cityweekly.net

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

Gotta love the perks. SMH.

JAMES DUBIN JR.

Via Facebook

@JAREDEBORN

Now that would be awesome!

Via Facebook

I’m glad people with no experience are grabbing at such prestigious jobs these days.

He has an awesome collection.

MANDA BULL Via Facebook

RICHARD HUMBERG

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

Keep it a school for the arts.

Oh HELL no.

DANO MARTINEZ

@GRAYEDOUTJEDI

Via Facebook

Via Twitter

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Editorial Interns SULAIMAN ALFADHLI, DAVID MILLER Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, KYLEE EHMANN, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, JOHN KUSHMA, JOHN RASMUSON, TED SCHEFFLER, GAVIN SHEEHAN, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER, BRYAN YOUNG, LEE ZIMMERMAN

Production

Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Assistant Production Manager BRIAN PLUMMER Graphic Artists CAIT LEE, SUMMER MONTGOMERY, JOSH SCHEUERMAN

Business/Office

Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS

Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS Developer BRYAN BALE Office Administrators DAVID ADAMSON, ANNA KAISER

Marketing

Marketing & Events Director JACKIE BRIGGS Street Team STEPHANIE ABBOTT, BEN BALDRIDGE, ADAM LANE, ANDY ROMERO, LAUREN TAGGE

Circulation

Circulation Manager LARRY CARTER

Sales

Director of Advertising, Magazine Division JENNIFER VAN GREVENHOF Director of Advertising, Newsprint Division PETE SALTAS

Senior Account Executives DOUG KRUITHOF, KATHY MUELLER Retail Account Executives LISA DORELLI, PAULINA JEDLICA KNUDSON, JEREMIAH SMITH, AMBER WOODY Digital Operations Manager ANNA PAPADAKIS Director of Digital Development CHRISTIAN PRISKOS

Digital Sales DANIEL COWAN, MIKEY SALTAS Display Advertising 801-413-0936 National Advertising VMG Advertising 888-278-9866

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Mall Writer

The Mall of America is recruiting a writerin-residence! Yes, the Disneyland of shopping malls, which draws more than 40 million visitors a year, is hiring a writer to “capture how much the mall has evolved over the course of the last 25 years.” Interested? Here are the details: “A special scribe will spend five days deeply immersed in the Mall of America atmosphere while writing on-the-fly impressions in their own words. They will stay in an attached hotel for four nights, receive a $400 gift card to buy food and drinks, and collect a generous honorarium for the sweat and tears they’ll put into their prose.” It seems unlikely that the Minnesota megamall would generate tears, but I can think of a few malls in Utah that might—Trolley Square, Cottonwood and The Gateway. One is nine years gone; the other two are struggling in a retail landscape reshaped by Amazon like a strip-mined patch of Appalachia. What the Mall of America expects to get for its money is hard to say. Publicity, to be sure, but probably unlike Ed Abbey’s musings at Arches National Park in the 1950s. Whatever the desired outcome might be, many other organizations have similar interests: Zion National Park, Amtrak, Uni-

BY JOHN RASMUSON versity of Utah, Harvard Divinity School, Capitol Reef National Park, Artcroft, a cattle ranch in Kentucky—all are offering opportunities for writers-in-residence in 2017. It’s easy to imagine myself as a member of a select writing group, my appointment announced in a press release with a photo of me looking as disheveled and authorial as Kurt Vonnegut. I could fit right in the scene in Harvard Square. But Terry Tempest Williams, Utah’s respected environmentalist, got the divinity school writing job. I also missed the application deadline of the Mall of America. If I am to parlay my shallow résumé into a live-in writing gig, I’ll have to cast my net closer to home. One possibility is the University of Utah’s Environmental Humanities Education Center in the Centennial Valley of Montana. Applicants must have a project in mind and samples of what they have written. Otherwise, it seems easier to get a writer-inresidence post than to find a cheap apartment in Salt Lake City. You just have to attend an occasional communal dinner, agree to be photographed and interviewed, donate one “work” and clean your room. I imagine there is no shortage of applicants. The U of U has plenty of talented people. More than a few of them have essays, poetry and novels in progress. Moreover, the Wasatch Front is crawling with scribes, scribblers, poets, bloggers, polemicists and novelists. I’ll bet Utah County has more selfdescribed writers than Democrats. If I am to

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6 | MAY 11, 2017

be competitive for a writing residency, then, I am going to have to find a way to stand out from the crowd. I don’t have enough imagination for fiction, and while poetry isn’t my strong suit, I could manage a respectable haiku. Or better yet—a limerick. The limerick is a neglected form of poetry whose meter and rhyme scheme are deceptively simple. But like skating backward, writing limericks is not as easy as it looks. I would need practice. Even better: on-the-job training. Taking a page from the Mall of America book, I could declare myself the limericker-in-residence of the Cottonwood Mall. In so doing, I’d gain the immediate advantage of having few, if any, competitors. (Doug Fabrizio isn’t reading limericks on RadioWest.) And because the Cottonwood Mall comprises two empty buildings and 57 weedy acres, I could work from home, honing my limerick-writing skills undisturbed. My first attempts would read something like these: For 30 years the Cottonwood Mall Held Salt Lake’s shoppers in thrall. But as it lost its allure, Closing store after store, It limped to its last curtain call. The Cottonwood Mall was once great, The first mall to be built in the state. But it was brought to an end By a counter-mall trend And some bulldozers in 2008.

OK, they are imperfect, more like a slightly out-of-focus photo than an etching. They lack the satisfying lilt of classics like “There once was a man from Nantucket.” However, practice makes perfect, and perfect limericks might open the door to the office of writer-in-residence. What’s to lose? With my tenure at Cottonwood at the top of my résumé, I could use my newly honed skills to offer limericks to others. There are 1,200 shopping malls in the U.S., and 400 are either shuttered or struggling. Who’s to say that a limericker-in-residence would not inspire a turnaround? To the Salt Lake City mall without a creek, my literary services might be welcome. Maybe I’ll test the water with a few limericks like these: Like the phoenix The Gateway is rising As a venue for hip socializing. The new owners have money So the outlook is sunny Until Amazon dictates downsizing. Writing verse for the Cottonwood Mall Has provided me the wherewithal To celebrate shopping Without fear of flopping. Note to The Gateway: give me a call. CW

Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

@kathybiele

Development Debacle

Conflicts of Interest

KEENAN PANTI

Surprise! Sugar House is about to grow in a large Fort Union-ish way. While residents are happy that the parking sea once fronting Shopko will be relocated, they are less than thrilled about the urban boxes being planned. Former Salt Lake Councilman Soren Simonsen railed the design on Facebook, calling it “suburban” and not keeping with residents’ desires. An architect in the comments called for a development of “tight roads, pedestrian-friendly and oriented around small shops and restaurants. Two-stories maximum.” Instead, the plan has three buildings—two commercial and one residential—and a large parking structure. If you’re looking for low-income housing, look elsewhere.

Speaking of development, The Salt Lake Tribune and the Utah Investigative Journalism Project offered another story about legislators and conflicts of interest. Duh. House Majority Leader Brad Wilson and Senate Majority Whip Stuart Adams both have financial interests tied to the 20-mile long West Davis Corridor in northern Utah. How lucrative those interests will be is debatable. But Utah is asking the wrong questions when it comes to conflicts. The state has long deemed them unavoidable and meaningless, and the general public seems to agree. What needs to happen is a change of focus. Voters need to elect people of larger vision. Utahns for Better Transportation look at population growth and see boulevards, bikes and pedestrians. Adams and Wilson see cars on highways surrounded by transit developments. Their narrow perspectives will never change. Their constituents need to realize that.

While most have found Salt Lake City’s vibrant EDM community to be relatively inclusive, that hasn’t been the case for those who are deaf or heard-of-hearing. This is a nationwide problem that Maclain Drake hopes to tackle with Vibe—a multisensory EDM show that not only caters to those with disabilities, but aims to provide a better overall experience to everyone. His second show on Friday (May 12, 9:30 p.m., Sky, 149 W. Pierpont Ave., 801-883-8714, $20, 21+, vibemusicevents.com) features sound-reactive visuals, smells and an overhead cloud, as well as interpreters and a drink menu inspired by the musicians.

Fixing the System

What can they do to improve?

One of the stated reasons for building a new prison was to create new solutions to a growing problem, and that’s where the Justice Reinvestment Initiative came in. But while the goals were to increase public safety, reduce recidivism and the prison population, the initiative didn’t specifically focus on solitary confinement and its psychological effects. Now, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, prison officials are looking for alternatives to a system that resulted in one of the nation’s highest rates of suicides. For 13 years until 2013, Utah had the highest number in the U.S., and is only slightly below that now. Solitary confinement was the most significant factor. Officials are looking at more mental evaluations and less restrictive policies, and the Standard-Examiner reports that lawmakers are examining jail policies, too. Imprisonment should not unintentionally carry a death sentence.

How did the idea for Vibe come about?

I was born with a 70-percent hearing loss. I was never part of the deaf culture in any sort of way, but, deep down, I knew I wanted to do something. … The whole idea came about because deaf people, I know very much that they love music and, if they knew there was an event that allowed them to enjoy the same music that we get to enjoy every week, they’d really appreciate some kind of effort as opposed to none.

In general, how inclusive are local venues to the deaf community?

Utah’s actually very terrible with ADA laws. When I threw my first show, I realized how bad it was. … When you ask venues for an interpreter, they’re kind of, like, ‘Why do you need an interpreter?’ And if you have to make certain requests for something, that’s not accommodating. What are they supposed to do, call every place they go? Everybody likes helping out cultures if they know how, but nobody’s really pushing for that. … I think a lot of people don’t understand that deaf people love music, too. They love that kind of atmosphere, but nobody really invites them to those kinds of things.

Just extend an invite and say, ‘Look, we want you to come to this; just tell us what you need, and we’ll do it.’ There’s a lot of technology available, and for the majority of people, it wouldn’t even affect them if it was installed. They just don’t really take the time to consider other people. And I think so many people are just used to getting drunk and going out and in a club kind of atmosphere and they don’t realize that we could push for a better show if people just kind of make a request for it.

So this is really about creating a better show for everyone, not just deaf people.

All I care about is a live show, and I think if it’s truly a live show and the artist truly wants to get his message across, he can get across all aspects of senses, rather than just one. If you really put dedication into your shows, people do notice that, and anybody will be able to tell that you care about your music and translating it in whatever way you can to anybody—not just for deaf people, but also for blind people, even maybe autistic kids or people in wheel chairs. If you can translate it in that way, it makes it a better show all around.

What do you hope to do with Vibe in the future?

Eventually the plan is to tour with it. We’re talking with other people to bring it to other states … and offer packages to other shows. Like if EDC wanted to do it, we would have a package that would allow interpreters, stage people who do signing of shows, and certain technology, depending on what they want.

—ANDREA HARVEY aharvey@cityweekly.net


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BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Border Tax What’s the difference between a border adjustment tax and a tariff ? The New York Times says a BAT of 20 percent on imports would “satisfy [President] Trump’s protectionist impulses without imposing punitive, and potentially even more disruptive, tariffs.” A tax is a tax, right? How is a tariff punitive while the BAT isn’t? —Frank Caplice A tax is a tax? Maybe, Frank, and maybe not. In trade, as in so many matters, our current administration’s eventual path is anybody’s guess; Team Trump made noises early on suggesting an inclination toward protectionist tariffs, but (naturally) details and follow-up have been nonexistent. Some Republicans in Congress, on the other hand, have done more of their homework, and they’re calling instead for a drastic overhaul of how we tax businesses in the first place—which, incidentally, might have many of the effects on our trade balance Trump seems to want. As economic-policy weaponry goes, a tariff is a blunt instrument, used to bonk a targeted problem over the head—a trade partner who’s squashing some domestic industry, or otherwise acting up. If the U.S. government wants to dissuade me from cutting labor costs by moving my widget company overseas, threatening to zap me with a 35 percent re-import tariff—as thenpresident-elect Trump suggested back in December—is one way to do it. And levying a tariff on Chinese widgets would give a boost to those widget makers who loyally remain on American soil. But China would be likely to retaliate by imposing its own tariff on American widgets, which certainly wouldn’t help the U.S. makers compete in the lucrative Chinese widget market. Want a trade war? You got one. Beyond the often-deserved “punitive” tag, tariffs just have a lousy rep: Econ 101 professors tend to bad-mouth them, as they distort the workings of the smooth-running, rational free market that economists like to think the world resembles. So how does the congressional GOP’s border-adjustment plan work? It’s complicated (as you’d hope, really), but very basically the idea is to retool our current corporate tax system, where income is considered income, pretty much, into one where 1. everything sold in the U.S., domestic or imported, gets taxed, meaning American companies would now pay taxes on all goods, parts and materials they ship in from elsewhere; but 2. their sales revenue from exports is no longer taxable. In effect, companies would be taxed primarily on the basis of where they sell their stuff rather than where they make it. Suddenly my offshore widget factory isn’t saving me the bundle it once was, since I’m paying to bring the product back to the U.S.; meanwhile, stateside manufacturers have a new edge in foreign markets, where they won’t have to bundle income tax into their

prices. The U.S. trade deficit being second to none, plenty of tax money gets generated on imports, and American companies have less reason to leave foreign revenue overseas. Significantly, too, from an international comity perspective, a border adjustment tax doesn’t have that punitive-tariff smell— instead of singling out one class or source of imports, it’s applied across the board. And it shouldn’t cause harmful distortions in trade, say the economists: The tax relief on exports will cancel out the effects of the hike on imports. The BAT is essentially a subspecies of value-added taxation, where businesses pay sales tax on goods throughout the supply chain. Lots of nations, particularly in Europe, use VAT, rather than relying on income taxes like the U.S. largely has; the BAT plan, the theory goes, would help our system sync up better with theirs. That’s great, you say, but hang on: Doesn’t all this mean I’m going to be paying more for widgets? So one might think, at least in the short term. Intuitively, a border adjustment tax could mean saying goodbye to all those cheap foreign-made clothes, appliances and other goodies we’ve been buying at Walmart for years. It’s no surprise that one of the leading Republican voices against an import tax is Senator Tom Cotton, who represents the retail giant’s home state of Arkansas. Not to worry, say the plan’s supporters. The incentive this new scheme creates for American manufacturing will strengthen the dollar so much that imports will stay comparatively cheap and retailers won’t need to raise prices. But let’s look at the fine print here: To achieve the effects they’re predicting, we’d need to see a 20 percent boost in the dollar’s value. You’ll be surprised to learn there’s some difference in expert opinion about how likely this is to happen. Of course, Republican infighting between BAT advocates and no-new-taxes hardliners might doom the whole thing from the start. As of deadline, the House Ways and Means chairman was insisting BAT is still on the table, though, and maybe foes will determine instead that a compromise is the only way to avert the trade war Trump has often appeared to be hankering for. Then the only wars we’ll have to worry about are all those bombing and shooting ones suddenly looming on the horizon. n

Send questions via straightdope.com or snail mail c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.


THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

Eight “breaking” local TV “news” stories for May sweeps:

you? Put down the Activia and pay attention, Gladys.”

teorologist Ashley goes under the knife for breast implants, live at 5!”

5. “Coming up: Which elderly

LDS church leader just died? The answer probably won’t surprise you in the least.”

4. “Hook, Line & Blinker: Are

Mayor’s new green initiative for composting the homeless, tonight at 9.”

2. “KUTV Krazy Korner: We

1. “How will the American Health Care Act affect you? You might already be dead after this break.”

ZINKE PROTEST

It’s not over till it’s over. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke rode through Bears Ears National Monument on a horse, totally missing the protests that preceded his entrance. But you still have a chance to make your voice heard, even if he’s ignored the five tribes of the Bears Ears Inter-Tribal Coalition. You can commit to 45 days of protest on your own terms and tweet him @SecretaryZinke. Contact your representatives and tell them to stand up to the Trump administration on public lands (find out who they are at whoismyrepresentative. com). Organize a house party to write letters to Zinke and get 10 friends to call and tweet him or contact their representatives. The Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance wants to know what you’ve done, so email travis@suwa.org with a photo.

CONSTITUTION RALLY

It’s pretty obvious that Americans aren’t listening to each other. How about you being the one to start? Join Utah for the New Conservative Movement at its More Perfect Union Constitution Rally. They maintain that, as American citizens, you’re responsible to ensure that government works to “establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.” This is billed as a nonpartisan rally (read: Evan McMullin) to show our representatives that we expect them to abide by the Constitution, and to remind citizens that it’s important to study and stand ready to defend it. Give it a try. Utah State Capitol, 350 N. State, Saturday, May 13, 1-2 p.m., free, bit.ly/2p31LBY

POLICY IN A PUB

Now here’s a stand-up idea for Utah: Talk policy in a pub. Specifically, you can bend the ears of three movers in the education conversation: State Sen. Ann Millner, UEA President Heidi Matthews and State Superintendent of Education Sydnee Dickson. They’re stopping by— maybe not to drink, but you can—to talk about how best to increase the money going to public schools. Snacks are courtesy of event organizers at Policy in a Pub: Education Funding. Is the answer local property taxes, increased income taxes (as the Our Schools Now ballot initiative proposes), undoing a 1996 change to the state constitution, or something they haven’t thought of yet? Squatters Pub Brewery, 147 W. 300 South, 801-3551400, Wednesday, May 17, 5-6:30 p.m., free, register at conta.cc/2pMxVAL

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Hidden Menace

Written off by the DEA, spice is making a resurgence among Salt Lake City’s marginalized communities. BY STEPHEN DARK sdark@cityweekly.net @stephenpdark

O

n April 3, 2017, a woman and her 14-year-old son were selling spice near the downtown homeless shelter. Salt Lake City police officers watched her give money to her son—who put it in a bag—then shake out some loose spice into a buyer’s hand. Neither the woman nor her son lived at the shelter. After she was arrested, police found she had 7 grams of spice, a synthetic cannabinoid that mimics the effects of THC, along with five empty spice bottles. But it was the handgun in her purse that gave them pause. Spice is a chemical sprayed on plantbased material—anything from dried grass clippings to potpourri—that is dried and then sold loose-leaf to be rolled into cigarettes or used in an herbal tea. When spice first hit Salt Lake City in the late 2000s, it gave a mild high similar to marijuana. But in recent years it has become a highly unpredictable, psychosis-inducing, addictive substance. However, the lack of significant cartel involvement in manufacturing and distribution has meant, “It’s flown under the radar to a large degree,” according to SLCPD Det. Greg Wilking. “It’s got a foothold here. I don’t see it going away. It’s cheap, it’s available and it’s a horrible substance.” The toxicity of recent spice versions is forcing small-time, freelance dealers— who typically target homeless—to carry weapons for self-protection. “It’s scary,” Wilking says. “They’re arming themselves because people are becoming physically addicted to this substance.” The mother-and-son bust, however, is just the latest development in a longrunning saga that has emerged as a public health issue for marginalized communities, the state and nonprofit agencies trying to address their needs. Sean Erickson is the director of behavioral health at the homeless-focused Fourth Street Clinic. He says the substance “impacts certain communities—the poor, the homeless—because

P U B L I C H E A LT H of how cheap it is, and sometimes the youth because it’s novel, fairly accessible and inexpensive.” Homeless spice users, advocates say, are simply trying to survive on the street and dull their pain by using drugs or self-medicating, and at $1 or $2 a joint, it’s the cheapest way at “the block” to escape. While the Salt Lake City Drug Enforcement Agency office did not respond to several calls for comment, national DEA spokesman Melvin Patterson notes that after the Chinese agreed in October 2015 to clamp down on the distribution of 116 chemical substances that could be shipped to the U.S. to make synthetic drugs, problems with spice “waned” significantly. That, however, has not been the case in Salt Lake City, where interviews with medical personnel, law enforcement and service providers to the homeless community reveal continued problems with an ever-changing substance. Citing one patient’s experience, former Fourth Street Clinic Behavioral Health Director Sam Vincent says the man “would just take dried oregano, spray oven cleaner and ant killer over the leaves, dry it up and sell it as spice. It is much more of a danger to [the homeless] community than it is given credit for.” But, he continues, as his patient’s story reflected, cracking down on such homespun manufacturing is challenging at best. The psychosis it can induce, whether through use or withdrawal, means first responders who deal with users identify their behavior as a mental health issue and take them to the hospital. Volunteers of America’s veteran medical outreach worker Ed Snoddy says spice users who become psychotic create “a roadblock in care because there’s somebody that is so wigged out, sometimes they are brought up [to the University of Utah Neuropsychiatric Institute] by the police, by EMS and there’s no place to put people. We don’t have immediate beds for substance abuse, we don’t have any respite beds in the community.” That said, if the spice use masks underlying mental health issues, it still requires that patients come off the drug before they can be evaluated and treated. Snoddy recalls one strain two years ago called Hot Red “that threw a lot of people into psychosis. People were being four-pointed—restrained at their arms and legs.” Clients with mental illness who smoked spice were sometimes “put right over the edge. It baffles me, but there’s an addiction to it.” Other street outreach advocates recall three recent strains dogging the downtown homeless. Last summer saw a version that resulted in facial contortions and violent, almost cartoon-like body movements and jerking. In the winter and early spring, two further types of spice led to convulsions and vomiting.

GREG WILKING

NEWS

In an early April arrest of a mother and son, cops found cash, spice, pills, digital scales and a handgun. One longtime user who listed his name as “Trace,” after failing to meet a reporter several times to discuss his addiction, instead wrote a history of his relationship with spice on several sheets of paper with a pencil. He wrote that once it was made illegal in Utah, out-of-state and local manufacturers added all sorts of ingredients to the raw plant material. He continued that with no regulation of spice, while it remained cheap, its impact was disturbingly unpredictable. “One toke will keep you high for about 30 minutes,” he wrote. “The negative is that 1 out of 5 joints will cause me to go into a severe panic attack and a [psychedelic]like episode where I can’t control my movements or thoughts. It’s terrifying! I believe I will die—that I’ve entered a demonic state and I can’t escape it. This after one toke.” United States government website drugabuse.gov notes that synthetic cannabinoids “act on the small brain cell receptors,” like THC does in marijuana. But although there has been very little investigation, researchers believe that the synthetic drugs “bind more strongly” than weed to the receptors, creating both powerful highs but also symptoms of psychosis. While the website claims there has been “a rising number of deaths” related to spice use, City Weekly was unable to identify anyone who has died locally from using spice. It’s not only the homeless who have been threatened. At the beginning of 2017, Wilking says, West High and Northwest Middle School both saw spikes in student spice usage. It was only after SLCPD busted a convenience

store nearby that spice use declined at the schools. “There’s a secret underworld of selling,” Wiking says. If you go into certain smoke shops or convenience stores and your driver’s license has a sticker on the back, that “verifies you’re a good customer”; and can result in an under-the-counter sale. A secret name or handshake can also lead to sales. VOA’s chief operating officer and clinician Audrey Rice writes in an email that treating spice addiction is a challenge because it results in psychosis, which “essentially means a client cannot participate in treatment due to delusions, paranoia, etc.” Because the formula for spice and its ingredients are constantly changing, “it’s very difficult to test urine for synthetic cannabinoids or ‘spice.’” The Road Home’s executive director Matt Minkevitch says insight into spice “seems elusive at this point,” even while its usage is widespread in the community his shelter serves. He hopes that agencies and those in the private sector will have “a frank conversation about what we can do to address this in the most humane manner possible. Let’s wrap our minds around this and know what we are dealing with.” Wilking sees spice becoming only a more urgent issue for law enforcement, health services and agencies working with the homeless. One month after the mother and son were arrested with spice and a handgun, an 18-year-old with a backpack was detained after walking in the street near the shelter and then trying to flee. Cops found 72.4 grams of spice in more than a dozen canisters—and a loaded handgun. CW


As his assets increased, he became more aware of economic inequity in the system, he says. In spite of his own interests, he began to favor policy that redistributed wealth from the rich to the poor and middle class. He also promotes a healthy environment. Finding success at a young age, he was able to retire early and moved to Salt Lake City where he lives with his husband in a kempt home. Schultz now dabbles in real estate, but spends an inordinate amount of time campaigning for his super PAC, which, he adds, “I don’t want to do.”

ELEPHANT DISGUISE

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MAY 11, 2017 | 13

Feeling compelled, Schultz attends events like the Stewart rally trying to convince Democrats and independents to switch over to the Republican Party. “It takes 60 seconds,” he tells a group of 20-somethings, before moving on down the line, rattling through his talking points. On the surface, Schultz’ message is simple: If you don’t like your Congress member, vote him or her out. But when a congressional district skews so favorably for one party, how do members of the minority party exert power? “The answer is obvious,” Schultz says. “It’s to vote in the primary.” The Republican primaries in Utah are closed; only party members are allowed. So if someone preferred a Republican challenger for Congress, they’d better be in the GOP to vote that candidate through to the general election. Although Utah has a caucus system, candidates can still bypass the process by gathering enough signatures. (Democrats have an open primary process.) In the state’s congressional races, Schultz points out, the winners are picked in the primaries. Turning the tide in a pivotal primary race would pay off enormously, and there’s little downside he can see.

“You can literally stop them, and you haven’t done anything to harm the Democratic challenger,” he says. “If anything, you have helped [the challenger] immensely, because the majority of incumbents win their reelection. It’s the No. 1 barrier to [the challenger] being elected is the fact that there’s an incumbent.” This so-called Primary/Out strategy is a practical solution to a frustrating problem, Schultz says. But some of his peers need prodding. In the Stewart rally line, three middle-aged women—lifelong Dems—nearly gag at the suggestion of joining the Republican ranks. Not a few minutes later, though, they admit that they kind of like the idea and see its merit. Others are less convinced. Jake Parkinson, the Salt Lake County Republican Party chair and former City Weekly contributor, says he politely accepted Schultz’ handbill detailing his plan, but he doesn’t agree one iota. A conservative Salt Lake City resident, Parkinson says later in an interview that the tactic defies the spirit of democratic elections by asking voters to back a candidate whose platform they oppose—one they oppose just slightly less than another stronger candidate. “I just disagree with that premise,” he says. “I should vote for the candidate that fits my beliefs and will implement the closest vision to my principles in governing.” Naturally, Republicans would be resistant to this Primary/Out movement, but plenty of Democrats consider it an affront to the party as well. Salt Lake County Democratic Chairman Q. Dang argues that Schultz’ plan undermines the idea of parties altogether and minimizes the efforts done by Democrats. “Our party needs to stand on its own merits. We should promote ourselves as a party and not do something a little bit deceptive or roundabout. I’m completely opposed to

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s a long line queues up to get inside West High School on an early Friday evening, people shift their weight from one leg to the next. Rep. Chris Stewart, R-Utah, is back in the city and he’s agreed to hold his first in-person town hall meeting of the year. Before the doors are opened, the snaking procession already is hundreds deep; but based on capacity estimates, everyone will get a spot in the school’s 1,100-seat auditorium. Overwhelmingly, it’s a left-leaning crowd, and buzzing attendees know what’s in store. Dissatisfied constituents have the rare opportunity to voice their displeasure directly to their congressman. If not at the microphone, then by relentlessly booing Stewart’s stances with which they disagree. So despite the wait and limited parking, folks here are in good spirits. The camaraderie is as clear as the artisan typeface on their poster board signs. This is the segment of Stewart’s constituency—the minority districtwide—that wants to save Bears Ears National Monument, investigate President Donald Trump’s connection to Moscow and expand health care coverage rather than cut it. Cheerful lines make for audiences that are both captive and receptive. Activists pounce on the opportunity to pitch their brand of resistance, passing out fliers, stickers and lawn placards. Working the crowd with the best of them is Gregg Schultz, founder of a super PAC called Primary/Out. A retired ExxonMobil executive attorney, Schultz’ political affiliation is fluid. He was raised by conservative parents, voted for George W. Bush in 2000 and says his friends from law school considered him a hardline right-winger. For almost two decades, Schultz worked for a global oil giant notoriously known for a tanker spill off Alaska’s Prince William Sound, one of the worst environmental disasters in American history.

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ENRIQUE LIMÓN

Gregg Schultz that,” he says, adding, “If you’re a Democrat, be proud of it. It doesn’t make sense to me, logically, as a Democrat.” In addition, Dang worries a diminishing Democratic roll would complicate organizing endeavors. “When we’re doing voter registration and our get-out-the-vote, if you’re not registered as a Democrat, how will we know to contact you?” he asks. When Schultz made the rounds during a Trump tax protest march at the Salt Lake City and County Building, he was met with a couple who shared Dang’s skepticism. The plan, they retorted, sounded sneaky and ineffective. (Schultz later confided that this couple was the least agreeable pair of progressives he’d run up against.) He doesn’t spend a lot of energy trying to change intransigent minds—“Jill Steintype,” Schultz calls them—and quickly moves on. Schultz says the accusation that Primary/Out is deceptive is criticism he encounters regularly, but it’s a misconception he hopes to correct. “We’re not a stealth organization. I’m not trying to trick anyone. I’m trying to cooperate and find common ground with Republicans,” he says. The first step in finding common ground—up until April 19—was to boost a Republican challenger against eight-year incumbent Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah. Any candidate supported by Primary/Out, in this race and others, must be a “real” Republican, Schultz explains, but one who adheres to seven principles: n Oppose partisan and racial gerrymandering. n Support a bipartisan investigation into Russian election-meddling. n Acknowledge climate change is real. n Champion free public education. n Respect privacy of citizens. n Agree to protect public lands and national parks, and n Combat any religious litmus test for immigration or citizenship. “I’m willing to add or subtract issues as long as they’re consistent with our mission,” he says. Schultz is in dialogue with potential GOP candidates, positive that viable challengers will emerge leading up to the 2018 election cycle.

THE CHAFFETZ PROBLEM

Chaffetz, the polarizing District 3 congressman, had become a perennial newsmaker. On Feb. 9, for example, he held his own town hall at a high school in Cottonwood Heights that quickly devolved into a cacophonic spectacle of groans and shouting, conspicuous enough that many national outlets made it their lead story the next day. District 3 resident Phil Cone, who ducked out of the Chaffetz event early in annoyance, said as he headed to the park-

ing lot, that he intended to register as a Republican solely for the purpose of dethroning his congressman. This was weeks before Primary/Out’s website went live. Schultz’ party-swapping idea is not entirely original—he warmed to it at an Indivisible Utah meeting after the November election—but he seems to be the first in the state to have organized a political action committee around it. If Primary/Out could successfully oust Chaffetz, an incumbent congressman from a conservative district, it would demonstrate political clout that would set up the movement for 2020, Schultz’ real target. By then, he reasons, he would have GOP candidates lined up and ready to take over the statehouse and the governor’s mansion. While Chaffetz universally irritates those in liberal circles, he enjoys robust support from many of his constituents. Last election, he handily won the primary with more than 78 percent of the vote and then bested his Democratic opponent with 73 percent. A fresh slate of leaders would be able to push an agenda that included a new system for drawing district maps. This is one of Schultz’ ultimate goals: To quash congressional gerrymandering, which is the art of creating political districts that benefit one party. He proposes using a computer system to delineate the districts, which would eliminate any human bias. Ideally, he says, the districts would be grouped into urban, suburban and rural categories. When Schultz is met with tepidity, he likes to ask his audience what they think of gerrymandering. “‘Oh my God, it’s the worst thing,’” he says they often respond. This tees him up for the logical next question: If not this, what is your plan to put an end to it? “Are we all going to stand around and whine and think that our state Legislature is going to say, ‘They’re really mad at us. They have no power, but they’re really mad at us and we’re going to finally give them what they want?’ There’s no chance that’s going to happen,” he says. “You have to exert muscle in order to do it.” To Schultz, there was no better time and place to flex that political muscle than in the race against Chaffetz, a candidate considered vulnerable because of the awkward position he put himself in as head of the House Oversight Committee. Before the election, when the consensus prediction was that Hillary Clinton would win the bid for the White House, Chaffetz took every opportunity he could to declare that he would rigorously investigate her alleged misdeeds. But when Trump was victorious and reports trickled out that he and his team might be compromised by Russian President Vladimir Putin, Chaffetz’ ambition had vanished. Then, on April 19—at the apotheosis of the anti-Chaffetz movement—the congressman surprised the political world

by announcing via Facebook that he wanted to spend more time with his family and, therefore, would not seek reelection in 2018. “I’m tempted to channel Donald Trump and take all the credit myself,” Schultz joked in an email that morning. But for Schultz, Chaffetz was a means rather than an end. Without the congressman as a foil, his machination risked sputtering out before it was tested. After an hour or so, Schultz wrote again to explain that the Chaffetz news—including rumors that he might seek the governor’s seat in 2020—didn’t alter his strategy. “From my perspective, it gives me two extra years to mobilize against him, because the governor race is and has always been the lynchpin of my strategy,” Schultz wrote. “Chaffetz is unfit for any office. We will continue to try to identify candidates to oust Stewart and Bishop, as well as Hatch. I am also looking carefully at 2-3 state races.”

AN INDEPENDENT EYE

If the goal is to stop gerrymandering, some have argued, there are better ways of achieving it. Around 2011, before he became county party chair, Dang was part of a group called Represent Me Utah. Lawmakers that year, tasked with re-mapping the district, toured the state and asked voters to submit plausible and state district boundaries. “A bunch of us drew maps,” Dang recalls. But that revealed itself to be an insincere gesture, when instead, he claims, “They called a special session and they disregarded all of them.” Dang accuses legislators of drafting their own maps behind closed doors and then picking them over any of the submitted documents. The process presents an inherent conflict of interest, he says, when legislators draw districts around their preferred voters. “Incumbents, in essence, get to protect their own seats,” he asserts. A fairer system, Dang says, would be to turn over the responsibility of drawing district lines to an independent redistricting commission. This body would establish agreedupon criteria, and develop models based off computations of a simple software program. This type of system “doesn’t take into consideration partisanship. It doesn’t take into consideration where someone lives,” he says. “It’s math.” If the math and the commission guidelines still couldn’t save Democratic strongholds, so be it, but at least the voters could rest assured that the process wasn’t an act of political self-preservation. As it is now, some residents are left to wonder why they’re in a different district than their neighbors. “You can stand in a certain point in Salt Lake City and


ROUND 1

—Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross

MAY 11, 2017 | 15

There is another route, though. Dang is under no illusion that the Legislature will surrender its redistricting powers to a nonpartisan commission. He’s seen what happens when lawmakers try. Last session, Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck, D-Salt Lake City, sponsored House Bill 411, which would have established an advisory redistricting committee, but the legislation was dead on arrival and never got a committee vote. So the only other option is to establish a redistricting committee through a ballot initiative. At the moment, the Utah Redistricting Coalition is amassing a small army of volunteers who will help gather the required signatures to put the question on the ballot in 2018. It is aiming for 150,000 signatures—no small feat. To put that number into perspective, if 3,000 people who attended a recent Bernie Sanders rally all signed their names, the coalition would be 2 percent of the way there. The coalition has to get 10 percent of the number of last election’s voters in 26 of Utah’s 29 Senate districts. Despite the laborious task, Dang, a member of the coalition, is confident it will prevail. “If I get 1,500 [volunteers], I only need each person to gather 100 signatures. That’s it. It’s doable,” he says. “If I only have 150 volunteers, they all have to gather 1,000. Over the course of a year, one volunteer can easily get 1,000 signatures.” But while he considers the group’s signature phase to be attainable, he is also watching the next election creep near. “The census is done in 2020, the maps are going to be drawn in 2021. If we don’t do it right now, it’s going to be another 10 years,” he says. CW

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“WHAT I HEAR 99 PERCENT OF THE TIME— THEY DON’T REALIZE THEY’RE SAYING IT— BUT WHAT THEY’RE SAYING IS, ‘I WANT GERRYMANDERING ... SO MY FLAVOR OF CANDIDATE WILL WIN.’”

THE INITIATIVE ROUTE

As one might expect, the state’s Republican lawmakers don’t see gerrymandering as the problem it’s portrayed to be. If you ever find yourself in an argument on social media with a state senator about gerrymandering, you’re probably sparring with the outspoken Republican Todd Weiler. About three months after the districts were drawn, Weiler joined the Legislature. So even though he wasn’t a part of the body responsible for the state maps, he agrees with the layout and has come to defend it against what he considers a hypocritical position. “What I hear 99 percent of the time—they don’t realize they’re saying it—but what they’re saying is, ‘I want gerrymandering. I just want it gerrymandered so my flavor of candidate will win,’” he says. In his assessment, enclosing Salt Lake City and Park City in one small district would amount to gerrymandering. It would also stray from an attempt to force the delegation to focus on rural and urban issues by drawing up districts that combine rural and urban areas. “There’s a thousand different ways to slice Utah into four congressional districts,” Weiler says. “But what I hear the most is people saying, ‘But you could have sliced it in a way where a Democrat would be guaranteed to win.’ Had they done that, it would have been—by definition—gerrymandering. It would have just been gerrymandering for the Democrats.” Asked about accusations that Salt Lake County was strategically fractured, Weiler notes that there are too many residents in the county to lump it into a single district anyway. That would create one district with way more people than the other three. And to hack out the conservative ar-

DW HARRIS

eas, he reiterates, would still be gerrymandering. Even if Salt Lake County were one district, he adds, it would be a swing district and the state could still end up with four Republican congressional representatives, depending on the candidates. Parkinson, the GOP county chair whose job it is to bolster the party, paints a portrait of the county that liberals would find direr than Weiler’s. “[Gov. Gary] Herbert won Salt Lake County. It’s not a liberal place. Mike Lee destroyed in Salt Lake County,” he says. “I believe conservative principles better represent the voter base here. Any way you break that up, you’re still going to end up with conservative voters prevailing, but I deeply respect those who feel like their voice isn’t heard.” As the districts are currently constructed, Weiler argues

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WHAT PROBLEM?

Q. Dang

the 4th, in its brief history, has been in play for both parties. “The argument that only a Republican can win these districts was disproven the very first year these districts were drawn,” he says. “Jim Matheson won one of them in 2012.” Matheson, a District 2 incumbent, successfully ran for Congress in District 4, the year after it was created. But it’s been in Republican control ever since 2014 with Mia Love beating out Doug Owens two elections in a row, the last of which was a double-digit point victory. Like Schultz, Weiler ascribes a candidate’s success, often, to their incumbency. Rep. Dan McCay, R-Riverton, echoes Weiler’s thoughts on gerrymandering. But he also suggests that one reason it might have become a resurging fight is because constituents across this county, on both sides of the aisle, feel disenfranchised by their congressional officials. “There is an undercurrent of people who wonder if Congress is actually representing them anymore,” he says. “That is a nonpartisan issue that has everyone kind of scratching their head and trying to understand. It’s hard to feel a connection when what gets proposed in D.C. doesn’t benefit the people in the states they’re elected to represent.” Neither McCay nor Weiler supports the idea of an independent redistricting panel, based on the assumption that there’s no way to remove it from political persuasion. “Who in the hell is interested enough in politics but has no opinions and no preference on who wins?” Weiler says. “I have yet to meet that person. It’s a fantasy.” He argues that if voters disagree with the Legislature as it draws district maps, they can at least try to vote their legislator out of office. “How do you vote out an independent commission? They’re accountable to no one.” Channeling former Democratic President Barack Obama, Weiler says elections have consequences, and one is that the Legislature elected to represent voters on the Hill will have a chance to draw up the districts after the next census in 2020. The reality, he says, is that accusations against gerrymandering are about as old as the county itself, and save for a few challenges in court, voters expect lawmakers to draw those lines. In other words, it’s extremely unlikely that he and his Republican colleagues will willingly hand over that responsibility to an unelected board.

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look out and see three different congressional districts,” Dang says. That spot in the county where three districts meet is found at the foot of the Wasatch Mountains on the southern end of Parley’s Canyon. It doesn’t appear to be in a neighborhood, or on a street at all. But while the city isn’t sliced like a perfectly cut pie, as Dang implies, he’s not far off. Take, for example, the drive from Olympus High School just off 3900 South to the Salt Lake County Country Club north of 2700 South. The 4-mile jaunt might take you 10 minutes if you hit all the lights. Still, your journey will start in District 3, a congressional boundary that stretches all the way down to the state’s Four Corners area. Headed north, you will immediately pass into District 4, the state’s smallest, area-wise. It comprises many towns on the west end of Utah Lake and continues up through a center segment of the Salt Lake Valley. On the southern end, District 4 encompasses Nephi, Mt. Pleasant and Levan. Before you park, you’ve already entered into District 2, the state’s largest, which engulfs most of Salt Lake City, but also includes St. George, Panguitch, Manti and Beaver. District 1 is the only congressional seat that doesn’t cut into Salt Lake County, but it does swallow up Park City, another liberal-leaning town. The majority in Salt Lake City are represented by one congressman—except those living on the southern end. Districting slices West Valley City in half (Districts 2 and 4), as well. Conservative Provo, worth noting, is the largest city in the state that appears to be represented by one congressperson, Chaffetz in District 3. All four Utah representatives are Republican, further evidence of gerrymandering, Dang argues. “It doesn’t pass the smell test,” he says. During the last presidential election, Republican candidate Trump won less than 50 percent of the vote in Utah. Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton won more than 25 percent. By implication, at least a quarter of the state’s population favored a Democratic candidate. “And yet, we have no representation,” Dang says of his Democratic party. “You would think that out of four, we would get a quarter. But because of the way the maps were drawn, we got none of it.”


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Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me! Let’s face it: The news isn’t all that upbeat these days. So credit Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me—one of the most popular programs on National Public Radio—with doing its best to tackle that tension with off-the-wall humor. Host Peter Sagal (pictured) asks the unexpected of his guests and contestants, a rotating weekly panel of comedians, commentators and humorists like Mo Rocca, Paula Poundstone, Alonzo Bodden and Peter Grosz who skewer weekly events, try to make sense of the insanity and obsess over the absurd; lineup for the local taping is not set at press time. Indeed, when it comes to today’s headlines, the real is often surreal. Sagal admits that the absurdities that have transpired in the wake of the presidential election have increased the challenge of trying to find the dividing line between satire and reality, especially when it comes to a personality like President Trump. “What do you do when the person you’re talking about is already so extreme?” Sagal asks. “It’s really something we’ve struggled with.” Currently celebrating its 20th anniversary, this comical quiz show still manages to tackle its topics in ways that tread the line between the silly and the sublime. “I don’t want to be just another voice yelling at our audience about things they agree with,” Sagal says. “My feeling has always been, we’re not part of these partisan battles. We’re up in the stands with you watching them. To get involved in any other way would be contrary to our purpose.” (Lee Zimmerman) NPR and KUER present Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me! Live @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, May 11, 7:30 p.m., $35-$125, arttix.artsaltlake.org

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THURSDAY 5/11

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SATURDAY 5/13

Returning this week is Wasatch Theatre Co.’s annual Page to Stage Festival, a unique event combining the work of six different playwrights into a single evening of one-act plays. Last year’s call for entries yielded original works by writers Bill Anderson, Beth Bruner, Sierra DucharmeHansen, Nicholas Dunn, Laurel Myler and Erin Saunders. Six local actors are set to perform the original plays, guided by director Zac Curtis “We wanted to focus on writing and acting, so we asked them to create worlds that could be conveyed through minimal props and sets,” company board chairman Brian Pilling says. “We assigned each playwright specific actors to write for, and we gave them a time limit. The key thing we asked is to use an assigned story from The Bee as inspiration.” After the original festival plan fell through, the company still wanted to utilize the idea of adapting someone else’s stories as part of the challenge. The Bee—a local storytelling group—was able to provide original stories presented at previous events as guides for each play. “We really liked the idea of using someone’s real story—and that’s when we happened upon The Bee,” Pilling says. “We applaud what they are doing in providing a space for people to share their stories, so we approached them to see if they would be interested in this type of partnership, and they said yes.” (Gavin Sheehan) Wasatch Theatre Co. Page to Stage Festival @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, May 11-13, 8 p.m.; May 13 matinee, 3 p.m., $20, arttix.artsaltlake.org

In previous novels like Brooklyn and Nora Webster, author Colm Tóibín has addressed women dealing with the struggles of living in a time where their options seemed limited. He finds another such heroine for his latest novel House of Names in a rather unexpected place: classical Greek theater. Based on Aeschylus’ Oresteia trilogy, it begins with the plotting of Queen Clytemnestra to murder her husband, Agamemnon, as retaliation for his decision to sacrifice their daughter Iphigenia to the gods so he would be favored in battle. The point of view eventually shifts to the other members of the family affected by their parents’ actions: their son Orestes and other daughter, Electra, both of whom ultimately seek revenge on Clytemnestra. Though these characters and their stories have been known for centuries, Tóibín dives into them with the same deep, reflective psychology he has brought to all of his literary creations. His narrative decisions are pointed—the two women relate their stories in the first person, while Orestes is third person—in exploring a setting where one’s gender dictates the options available. Tóibín finds richness and complexity in a wife shattered by her husband’s betrayal, a young boy who reveres his warrior father too much to understand what is going on, and a young woman who can only latch on to the crimes of her mother. By giving these legendary names real pain, real hunger and real thirst, Tóibín finds humanity in tragic human frailty that might have seemed the stuff of marble statues. (Scott Renshaw) Colm Tóibín: House of Names @ The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, May 12, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

It seems each day brings news of yet another affluent, privileged man getting away with years of assaulting women and treading on the rights of others, with nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a few million dollars in penance for his troubles. With this in mind, the final performance of Utah Opera’s season seems unnervingly familiar, while offering a kind of catharsis via the idea that the world’s abusers will eventually get theirs in the end. Don Giovanni presents the life of the allaround reprobate man of the same name as he assaults and murders his way through life. Kristine McIntyre, the production’s director, says Giovanni’s ability to avoid consequences creates a feeling of helplessness throughout the story. “The normal rules don’t seem to apply to him, no matter what you do,” she says. “The experience of all the women in the opera is that ultimately they feel powerless; even the male characters feel powerless.” As the full opera’s title literally translates to “The Rake Punished, namely Don Giovanni,” it’s not too much of a spoiler to say justice is eventually served, even if it takes paranormal intervention to do so. The opera is presented with the stylistic trappings of film noir, designed in black-and-white with vintage clothing. While this genre is also known for highlighting imbalanced gender power dynamics, McIntyre says the decision to set the production this way was to convey the danger and darkness in the story to a modern audience. (Kylee Ehmann) Utah Opera: Don Giovanni @ Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-533-6683, May 13, 15, 17 & 19, 7:30 p.m.; May 21, 2 p.m., $21-$93, utahopera.org

Wasatch Theatre Co. Page to Stage Festival

Colm Tóibín: House of Names

Utah Opera: Don Giovanni


A&E Nerdy Holidays to You

May the Fourth isn’t the only unofficial celebration of popculture. BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

T

BIG SHINY ROBOT! News from the geeks. what’s new in comics, games, movies and beyond.

Both exclusively on

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hashtag #TeachMeYouDid. Others use it as a way to encourage volunteerism, asking Star Wars fans to “Serve Like a Jedi.” And everyone else just uses it as an excuse to watch Star Wars movies and TV shows. But this isn’t the only nerdy holiday that the calendar brings. On May 25, which this year also marks the 40th anniversary of Star Wars, we have Towel Day. This holiday comes from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books, and began as a commemoration of the author’s death in 2001. This is why you’ll see really hoopy froods carrying their towels wherever they go to that day. April 5 celebrates First Contact Day, which acknowledges the first meeting between humans and Vulcans, even though in the Star Trek timeline, that event doesn’t happen until 2063. In fact, the entire town of Riverside, Iowa—and Trek fans the world over—celebrate the birth of James T. Kirk on March 22, though he won’t be born until 2233. On July 31, we’ll have Harry Potter’s birthday celebration. Not so coincidentally, it’s also author J.K. Rowling’s birthday, and she’ll often mark the occasion by dropping new tidbits of information about the Potter canon to fans. Before the summer concludes, Talk Like a Pirate Day rolls out on Sept. 19. For it, people across the globe dress up like pirates and drop far too many “arrrrs” and “aye mateys.” It started as a joke between friends, then became popularized by syndicated columnist Dave Barry in 2002. After that, it’s Back to the Future day on Oct. 21—the day Martin McFly Jr. was scheduled to go, well, back to the future. He traveled to 2015 in the film, and on that exact day, folks went crazy celebrating. USA Today even wrapped the day’s edition with a prop replica from the film, Marty’s arrest for theft dominating the front page. When culture is filled with movies, comic books and science fiction, there is no shortage of holidays we can gravitate to. I don’t think it’ll be much longer before some of them start getting officially recognized. Maybe a 100 years from now, May 4 could be a federal holiday. I mean, assuming we aren’t living in camps run by our corporate overlords, which could be a natural consequence after Donald Trump establishes Loyalty Day. CW

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he cultural zeitgeist has always determined the holidays we celebrate. Astrological occurrences and religions began these traditions, leading people to create celebrations and observances of things they believed were most important. In the United States, traditional religious observances have gradually been accompanied by political and secular holidays. We celebrate the Fourth of July for our Independence Day, and Presidents Day to honor those who helped build it. Later, in the 20th century, the success of activists and movements led to things like Labor Day and Martin Luther King Day. Holidays were added to commemorate the end of wars and the service provided by veterans. As we add each holiday to our calendar, they become a reflection of our culture. But the measuring stick no longer pays attention to country, religion or labor the way it once used to. It seems that the most important aspects of popular culture are the nerdy, esoteric or simply puntastic. On Pi Day (March 14), we eat pizza and pie to honor the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. In Utah, Pioneer Day honors the founding of the state. But for many non-religious people, it’s been morphed into Pie and Beer Day—and, predictably, we use it to gorge on the stuff. May the Fourth might be one of my favorite nerdy holidays. Born from the pun that makes it sound a little bit like “may the Force be with you,” this holiday tributes Star Wars in a variety of ways. Being part of teacher appreciation week, some use it as an excuse to honor Star Wars’ lessons and the teachers in their lives using the social media

big SHINY ROBOT


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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Native Utah artist Lyndy Lovelady continues her exploration of the shifting nature of oceans and nature with illustrations in the exhibition Waterscape Rap at Sprague Library (2131 S. 1100 East, 801594-8640, slcpl.org), through July 1.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

Annie Get Your Gun Brigham’s Playhouse, 25 North 300 West, Washington, through May 27, Thursday-Saturday, 7 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m., brighamsplayhouse.com Betty Blue Eyes Hale Center Theatre, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through May 27, 11 a.m., 3 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., haletheater.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855944-2787, through May 20, theziegfeldtheater.com Don Giovanni Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, May 13, 15, 17 & 19, 7:30 p.m.; May 21, 2 p.m., utahopera.org (see p. 16) Hairspray The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, 801-957-3300, through June 3, ThursdaySaturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee 2 p.m., grandtheatrecompany.com Captain AmericanFORK Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through June 3, times vary, desertstar.biz Disney’s My Son Pinocchio Jr. Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-830-0701, through May 12, 4:30 p.m., haletheater.org Hand to God Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through May 14, WednesdayFriday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 p.m. & 6 p.m., saltlakeactingcompany.org Lionel Bart’s Oliver Center Point Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through May 13; Monday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., centerpointtheatre.org Midwife The Clubhouse, 850 E. South Temple, May 12-13, 7:30 p.m., clubhouseslc.com The Mountaintop Good Company Theatre, 260 25th St., Ogden, May 12-21, Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 4 p.m.; Saturday matinee, May 20, 4 p.m., goodcotheatre.com Oklahoma! Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through May 13, FridaySaturday, 7:30 p.m., heritagetheatreutah.com Pirates of The Carabeener Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, 801-355-4628, through June 10, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org Silent Sky Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, through May 13, 7:30 p.m.; 2 p.m. matinees Sunday and May 13, arttix.org To Kill a Mockingbird Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801984-9000, through May 22; 12:30 p.m., 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., hct.org Wait Wait ... Don’t Tell Me! Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, May 11, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 16)

Wasatch Theatre Co. Page to Stage Festival Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801355-2787, May 11-13, 8 p.m.; May 13 matinee, 3 p.m., artsaltlake.org (see p. 16) The Will Rogers Follies: A Life in Revue Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, through May 21, TuesdayThursday, 7 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., Sunday, 2 p.m., pioneertheatre.org

DANCE

All That Jazz Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 385-468-1010, May 12, 7 p.m., artsaltlake.org Body Logic Dance: Reflect Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, May 11, 7 p.m.; May 12, 2 p.m., bodylogicdance.com Very Vary Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 385-4681010, through May 13, 8 p.m., artsaltlake.org

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Elegant Ella: Centennial Celebration featuring Katrina Cannon Brighton High School Auditorium, 2220 Bengal Blvd., Cottonwood Heights, May 13, 7:30 p.m., nightstarjazzorchestra.com Sinfonia Salt Lake First United Methodist Church, 203 S. 200 East, May 15, 7:30 p.m., squareup.com/store/sinfonia-salt-lake

COMEDY & IMPROV

Josh Blue Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, May 12-13, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Todd Johnson Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th Street, Ogden, 801-622-5588, May 12-13, 8p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Colm Toibin: House of Names The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, May 12, 7 p.m., kingsenlish.com (see p. 16) Duane Jennings: Stumbling Blocks and Stepping Stones Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, May 12, 7 p.m., wellerbookworks.com Laurie Forest: The Black Witch The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, May 11, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Margo Kelly: Unlocked Barnes & Noble, 7157 Plaza Center Drive, West Jordan, 801-282-1324, May 11, 6 p.m., barnesandnoble.com Jeana Watters: The Winter’s Song Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, May 13, 7 p.m., wellerbookworks.com Laura McBride: ‘Round Midnight The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, May 16, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com


Sgt. Leslie Zimmerman: Dream Big! Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, May 16, 7 p.m., wellerbookworks.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

The Cache Rock and Gem Club Mineral Show: A Rock Odyssey Bridgerland Applied Technology School, 1000 W. 1400, North Logan, Thursday-Friday, 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m., cacherockgemclub.weebly.com Ogden Heritage Festival Union Station, 2501 Wall Avenue, Ogden, 801-393-1481, May 14, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., theunionstation.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

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All of Us Beasts Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, May 12-July 7; Artist Reception May 19, 6-9 p.m. Barbara Ellard Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through June 9, 8 a.m.5 p.m., saltlakearts.org Bill Lee Gallery at Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through June 9, slcpl.org Brad Teare Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, 801-581-6961, through May 20, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., pioneertheatre.org/loge-gallery Common Elicitors of Wonder: An Art Exhibit StoryLand, 45 W. 200 North, Alpine, May 12-13 Gemma Joon Bae: When I Called You by Name You Came to Me and Became a Flower Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801594-8611, through May 25, slcpl.org James Stewart Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through May 13, artatthemain.com

Jeff Juhlin: Shifting Ground A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801-583-4800, through June 3, agallery.com Joseph Cipro: Cosmic Musings Gallery 814, 814 E. 100 South, 801-533-0204, through July 31 Kelly O’Neill: rend/er UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through June 3, utahmoca.org Laura Hope Mason: Abstract Landscapes Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through June 9, saltlakearts.org Mapping & Unpacking: Mixed Media and Sculpture by Bret Hanson Gallery at Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through June 9, slcpl.org May the Fourth: Heroes and Villains Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-2300820, through June 4, urbanartsgallery.org Petecia Le Fawnhawk: Desert Elements Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801355-338, May 17-June 10, modernwestfineart.com Rona Pondick & Robert Feintuch: Heads, Hands, Feet; Sleeping, Holding, Dreaming, Dying UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through July 15, utahmoca.org Rosalie Winard Art Barn/Finch Lane Galleries, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through June 9, saltlakearts.org Art at the Main Spring Show 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, May 15-June 10, artatthemain.com Utah Watercolor Society Spring Exhibition Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through June 28, culturalcelebration.org Whitney Horrocks: Personae Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, 801-594-8680, through May 26, slcpl.org Wild America: Process and Preservation Modern West Fine Art, 177 E 200 South, 801-3553383, May 17-June 10, modernwestfineart.com

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IDAHO EATS

Boise or Bust

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Basque-ing in the bounty of western Idaho. BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

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f you’re not familiar with Boise, I’d describe it as similar to Ogden in size, scale, look and feel. It’s got a small but thriving downtown center. There’s midsize Boise State University, whereas Ogden has Weber State. Nature lovers seem to abound in each city, and there’s a robust Millennial culture in both. Boise and Ogden are relatively affordable and attract new and emerging businesses and a population that enjoys a laid-back lifestyle. But when it comes to food and drink, Boise is punching above its weight class. This past March, I was invited to participate in a panel about food writing at the Treefort Music Festival, Boise’s version of South by Southwest. One of the fest’s components is called Foodfort, where tantalizing tastings, demonstrations, discussions and such keep the foodies well cared-for. While there, I was given a crash course in Boise’s culinary culture by fellow food aficionados Tara Morgan (Foodfort organizer) and Guy Hand, managing editor of Edible Idaho. It’s always fun to eat one’s way through a new city, and given that Boise is an easy four-hour or so drive from here— most of it at a legal 80 mph—I thought I’d share some of my findings with you. Downtown Boise is eminently walkable and bikeable. Pedestrians and bicyclists there aren’t second-class citizens. And, within a few-block radius, there are more restaurants and bars than you could probably visit in a month. Boise also has the largest population of Basque Americans (some 16,000)and is home to the annual Basque festival called Jaialdi, as well as to the Basque Museum & Cultural Center at downtown’s Basque Block—which was naturally our first stop. There you’ll find The Basque Market (thebasquemarket.com), which serves paella for lunch on Fridays beginning at 11:30 a.m. We rolled into town at noon, however, only to discover that the paella had already sold out. Locals know to line up by 11, since the single—albeit huge—pan of paella disappears rapidly. We did enjoy some tasty tapas such as chicken croquetas, anchovypiquillo toast with lemon oil, chorizo and manchego cheese bocadillo, plus glasses of Spanish wine and ultra-friendly hospitality at this fun communal eatery and market. For a more substantial meal, visit Bar Gernika (bargernika.com), featuring Basque foods, wines and desserts, not to mention a spectacular selection of craft brews. Drop in on a Saturday, when Gernika’s famous beef tongue with tomato and

TED SCHEFFLER

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TO THE GR EE

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pepper sauce is the main attraction. If you’re looking for something more upscale, Leku Ona (lekuonaid.com) boasts dishes like stewed squid and tripe with spicy Bizkaian sauce. Following the panel discussion at Foodfort, we popped into The Modern (themodernhotel.com) for a cocktail. It’s a groovy former Travelodge in downtown’s Linen District that’s been transformed into a boutique hotel with contemporary food offerings. The bar fare is anything but routine, with menu items like boudin blanc, smoked trout buderbrody, halibut with fiddlehead ferns, gnocchi and grilled ramps, plus more tempting dishes and drinks. Don’t let serious food like that fool you, however. The vibe is playful—right down to the working vinyl turntable that rests atop a gnome’s head in the restroom. From there, it was off to the popular Italian restaurant Alavita (alavitaboise.com). I made the rookie mistake of showing up for a Friday night dinner without reservations. Luckily, a helpful hostess found us two just-vacated seats at the sprawling, lively bar, and we were in business. The Ushaped bar is the restaurant’s centerpiece and features a blue pearl granite top. A starter of Peroni beer-steamed clams with a sauce of shallots, wine, garlic and parsley with grilled local bread was exceptional. Since housemade pasta is the main attraction, I opted for a rich and hearty order of pappardelle with housemade Italian-style sausage and oven-blistered tomatoes, shaved Parmesan, fresh basil and garlic. My wife chose pan-seared Alaskan salmon with vegetable ratatouille and proclaimed the fish perfectly cooked. I agreed. One of the biggest Boise surprises was discovering that the room-service menu

Alavita, an Italian restaurant in Boise. at The Grove Hotel (grovehotelboise.com) where we stayed, is priced exactly the same as in the hotel restaurant, Emilio’s. That’s a first—for me, at least. However, the service at Emilio’s is so friendly and inviting that we opted for breakfast in the restaurant, where the smoked cheddar-chive biscuits with sausage gravy are stupendous. How can one visit Idaho and not eat spuds? Lunch at Boise Fry Co. (boisefrycompany.com) was casual and fun. The burgers are good and the fries are great: double-cooked, with a choice of tuber type (russet, gold, sweet, yam, etc.), along with a vast array of seasoning and sauces. Another excellent lunch spot is Fork (boisefork.com), where the Northwest Prime Rib sandwich made with Double R Ranch rib loin is sensational— thin-sliced, roasted beef with baked brie, fresh arugula and Dijon aioli on an Italian roll. I’ve saved the best for last. State & Lemp (stateandlemp.com) reminds me of SLC’s now-closed Forage, and isn’t just the best Boise restaurant I frequented, but one of the best restaurants I’ve eaten at in the U.S. On Saturdays, their late-night (9 p.m.) “Supper Club” family-style dinner is priced at $65 per person, including wine, which is a steal. Consider dishes like quail with leek, nori, umeboshi and black truffle; trout udon with dashi, preserved lemons and mushrooms; or wild local greens with nettle, chèvre, watercress and sesame crackers. Remember the name of Chef Kris Komori; his kitchen talents appear limitless. Thus, it’s Boise or bust, for State & Lemp alone if nothing else. CW


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AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930

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Pago Final Call for Mom

I received some last-minute info on Mother’s Day specials from a few restaurants this week, so if you’re still looking for a place to take Mom on her day, consider these options: Pago (pagoslc.com) is featuring a three-course brunch menu, while sister restaurant Finca (fincaslc.com) offers a lush brunch buffet with items like Faroe Island salmon and eggs Benedict. Hearth (hearth25.com) in Ogden hosts brunch with menu items that include charcuterie, beef tartare, citrus-cured salmon, espresso-rubbed elk and eggs, and lots of other tasty choices. A three-course brunch menu is the highlight of Mother’s Day at Trestle Tavern (trestletavern.com), with tempting dishes like spaetzle and cheese, grilled trout, pork schnitzel, lamb burger and fried Camembert.

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Back in the Saddle

Bambara’s Chef Nathan Powers—along with more than 250 other chefs and members of the culinary community—embark on a 300-mile bike ride from Santa Rosa, Calif., on May 16 for Chefs Cycle to raise money and awareness to end childhood hunger. An avid cyclist, Powers’ personal goal—as part of the Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants team—is to raise $7,500 for No Kid Hungry, a nonprofit campaign connecting kids in need with nutritious foods, and that helps teach parents and families how to cook healthy, low-cost meals. “As chefs, our passion is food—in and out of the kitchen,” Powers says via email. “I am proud to be part of a movement that ensures children and families in need have access to nutritious, affordable meals, and builds awareness of ways our communities can solve the challenge of childhood hunger.” Donations to the Powers/Kimpton effort can be made at join.nokidhungry.org.

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Located on the edge of Tuacahn’s (tuacahn.org) red rock amphitheater, the venue’s new Snow Canyon Café is scheduled to open May 22. The café will serve fresh, quick and wholesome meals year-round, with an emphasis on hot entrées, soups, hot and cold panini sandwiches, sides and housemade desserts, with a pre-show dinner option available to patrons. Newsies, Shrek the Musical and Mamma Mia! are among this summer’s theatrical offerings. Quote of the week: “Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter.” —Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin Send tips to: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

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Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Utah drinkers get the bum’s rush. BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @Critic1

I

adult alcohol imbibers as mindless, outof-control children, hell will freeze over or Jesus will visit the Americas (again) before drinkers will be allowed to dispense their own booze in a public space. But why not cut out the middleman? After all, you’d have no one to blame but yourself for being overserved if you were doing the pouring, right? The state could abolish those silly TIPS (Training and Intervention Procedures for Servers) classes, and tipping your bartender would become a quaint practice of the past. It’s possible you might be concerned that if a single glass of wine can put a person over the new .05 blood alcohol limit, then unfettered access to 144 wines at a sitting might

Bodovino self-serve wine dispenser be a recipe for drunken disaster. No problem. AlcoMate is here to serve. There are concerned companies out there who want to help keep you out of jail in a buttoned-up, moralistic state like Utah. Revo—makers of AlcoMate digital personal breathalyzer— is one of them. This $219.95 gadget might seem costly at first, but not so much when you compare the price to the cost of a DUI. It’s roughly the size of an iPhone, and is extremely accurate. I suggest slipping one into your glove compartment or purse before thinking about drinking and driving in Utah. Or, just go to someplace like Denver or Boise, where fun is still legal. CW

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magine this: You walk into a bar specializing in wine—aka a wine bar—but which also offers a large inventory of beer, cocktails, tapas and such. On the wine side, there are 144 choices available by the 1-ounce splash, 3-ounce taste, 5-ounce glass or by the bottle. Wine prices range from a buck or so for a splash of inexpensive Spanish white wine to more than $100 for a glass of Opus One; and selections run the gamut from French rosé and Kiwi sauvignon blanc to Cabernet Franc and port. Sounds a lot like our own BTG Wine Bar, right? It isn’t. The wine bar in question is called

Bodovino, and it’s located in Boise, Idaho. My first reaction upon getting comfy with the Bodovino way of doing business was, “We need one of these in Utah!” But, it ain’t gonna happen. Not here. Not ever. Here’s why: Bodovino (which is an amalgam of “Boise, downtown and vino) is a self-service wine bar. Sure, you can bellyup to the bar and have a friendly server or bartender pour wine and drinks for you, but you don’t have to. This Disneyland for wine enthusiasts consists of a temperature-controlled wine system—the type you see in many wine bars—but the wine dispensers are scattered throughout the sprawling restaurant/bar and customers serve themselves. You know, like at selfserve fast-food soda machines. It’s a sort of Dave & Buster’s type operation where, upon entering, customers show ID and then load a plastic card with as much or as little money as they’d like. They are then handed a high-quality wine glass and instructions on operating the selfserve wine dispensers, and then proceed to sample wine in whatever amounts they’d like: splashes, glasses, etc. The electronic wine dispensers precisely pour the amount of wine ordered and subtract the price of the pour from your card, which you can reload at any time. It’s brilliant—and fun. Which is why we can’t have it here. Since the Utah Legislature insists on treating

TED SCHEFFLER

WINE DRINK BEER, & SPIRITS

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GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves. R&R Barbeque

Indian Style Tapas

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Few are as loyal to the art of barbecue as the owners of R&R. Competition veterans Rod and Roger Livingston pride themselves on their smoke, fire and patience. The restaurant offers pork spare ribs, pulled pork, beef brisket and chopped brisket. Also on the menu are burgers, smoked and deep-fried wings, and traditional sides like baked beans, fried okra, hush puppies and coleslaw. Order an ice-cold beer, pull up a chair and prepare for authentic, slow- and low-cooked, finger-licking barbecue. 307 W. 600 South, 801-364-0443, randrbbq.net

Britton’s

Chakra Lounge and Bar

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night menu & weekend brunch

At this Sandy restaurant, you’ll find old-fashioned burgers and shakes, along with breakfast items like pancakes, omelets, “garbage hash” and French toast served all day long. A must-try at this cozy eatery is the famous Hog burger, which is wrapped in two grilled-cheese sandwiches. It’s crazy and delicious. The house specialty grilled pork chops is another customer favorite. Add a housemade milkshake and you’re good to go. 694 E. Union Square, Sandy, 801-572-5148, brittonsrestaurant.com

Avenues Bistro on Third

Avenues Bistro focuses on organic, free-range, locally sourced ingredients and products whenever possible. Local purveyors of fine foods are represented on the menu, which focuses on new and traditional American cuisine as well as tapas. In the morning, fresh coffee, pastries and other breakfast foods are available for a quick pick-me-up or a leisurely meal. Menu items are selected according to what meats, vegetables, fruits and herbs are freshest and in season. 564 E. Third Ave., 801-831-5409, facebook.com/avenuesbistroonthird

Cucina Deli

This quaint gourmet deli in Salt Lake City offers a wide selection of inventive pasta, fruit and veggie salads, fresh sandwiches and entrées including bourbon salmon and pepper steak. The store also carries imported chocolate, cheese and candy. Among Cucina’s specialties are Thai beef salad, chicken scaloppine, lamb burgers, linguini carbonara, crab cakes, confit duck tostada and macaroni and cheese with roasted jalapeños and smoked bacon. Cucina makes it easy to dine in or take out, with its “executive” box lunches to go. 1026 E. Second Ave., 801-3223055, cucinadeli.com

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FILM REVIEW

Not-So-Much About Ray

CINEMA

3 Generations loses one distinct voice by listening to several others. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

THE WEINSTEIN CO.

M

ore than 18 months ago, when co-writer/director Gaby Dellal’s 3 Generations premiered at the 2015 Toronto Film Festival, it wasn’t 3 Generations. It was About Ray, a drama centered around a New York teenager’s transition from female to male. The long gestation from festival to U.S. theatrical release, accompanied by a title change, suggests the whiff of failure—and indeed, the movie formerly known as About Ray did not earn critical hosannas in Toronto. So how did a movie with a killer starring cast of Naomi Watts, Elle Fanning and Susan Sarandon, dealing with a particularly of-themoment subject, become such a castoff that its distributor thought it was better to avoid any reference to that long-ago premiere? That’s not an easy question, nor does 3 Generations entirely deserve its status as prestige-pic-turned-pariah. The story begins with 16-year-old Ray (Fanning) already well into his transformation from the girl born as Ramona, and living with his single mother Maggie (Watts), his grandmother Dodo (Sarandon), and Dodo’s long-time life partner Frances (Linda Emond). The next step is beginning hormone therapy, for which Ray, a minor, requires parental consent. That means not just Maggie’s consent, but that of Ray’s long-absent father, Craig (Tate Donovan)—though Maggie herself is struggling with the decision. At the heart of the narrative is a fairly compelling idea anchored in this unconventional family structure. Dodo might have raised Maggie with another woman, and Maggie might have raised Ray never having married Craig, but this group of New York artsy intellectuals still doesn’t know quite how to process Ray’s gender identity. Dodo, in particular, is openly opposed to allowing Ray to

begin hormone therapy, leading Ray to quip, “For a lesbian, you’re pretty judgmental.” That dynamic gives 3 Generations a kick that might not have been there in a story where Ray’s family was made up either of angry conservatives or blissfully supportive liberals. What do you do when your theoretical open-mindedness collides with the reality of your own child’s life? Watts turns in a performance that’s engrossingly uneasy, serving up some great emotional moments—wistfully looking through photos of Ray at a time when it all seemed easier (at least for Maggie), or watching Ray bounce joyfully on a bed in a way that reminds Maggie of the carefree child he used to be. There are equally effective scenes as Maggie sees Craig now enjoying the kind of blissfully “normal” nuclear family she never experienced. Few movies have wrestled honestly with the way even well-intentioned loved ones can feel grief over a gender transition—the superb French-Canadian drama Laurence Anyways being a rare exception—and 3 Generations has the generosity not to judge Maggie when she worries about Ray’s future happiness with a tearful “Who will love him?” It would have been a risky move to make 3 Generations entirely about the way the family copes with Ray’s transition, but it would have been a better choice than what Dellal and co-writer Nikole Beckwith offer. They spend a fair amount of time on the everyday challenges of Ray’s life—missing part of school to run across the street to a

Elle Fanning, Naomi Watts and Susan Sarandon in 3 Generations.

coffee shop’s gender-neutral bathroom, binding his breasts with ace bandages, facing bullies—in a way that’s honest without ever feeling melodramatic. But as talented as Fanning is, the low-key approach to Ray’s own experience makes that part of the story feel like an afterthought, as though the filmmakers knew they were obliged to give us Ray’s point of view even if Maggie’s made for the more unique and thoughtful story. The story gets even more convoluted as 3 Generations gradually unfolds the history of Maggie’s split with Craig, and begins to seem resolute about delivering the most unusual blended family photo possible. Yet in their determination to give everyone a voice, Dellal and Beckwith never allow any one voice to become distinct. As it turns out, 3 Generations seems like the title the movie should have had all along, and part of why it felt unsatisfying to audiences 18 months ago. It was never really entirely about Ray, and maybe it still ended up being too much about Ray. CW

3 GENERATIONS

BB.5 Naomi Watts Elle Fanning Susan Sarandon PG-13

TRY THESE Boys Don’t Cry (1999) Hilary Swank Chloë Sevigny Rated R

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) John Cameron Mitchell Miriam Shor Rated R

Transamerica (2005) Felicity Huffman Kevin Zegers Rated R

Laurence Anyways (2012) Melvil Poupaud Suzanne Clément Not Rated


CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. 3 GENERATIONS BB.5 See review on p. 26. Opens May 12 at theaters valleywide. (R) BUSTER’S MAL HEART [not yet reviewed] Twisty psychological thriller about the divided life of a family man (Rami Malek) who becomes a survivalist fugitive. Opens May 12 at Tower Theatre. (NR)

THE WALL BBB Some concepts are so money that they should be virtually impossible to screw up; this one comes precariously close. In 2007 post-“Mission Accomplished” Iraq, a pair of Army Rangers— Matthews (John Cena) and Isaac (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) investigate a construction site where a sniper has taken out multiple civilian contractors and security personnel, only to find that they too have become targets. The script by Dwain Worrell pins the soldiers down with seemingly no hope of rescue, and director Doug Liman builds terrific tension out of the scenario and the resourcefulness required for survival, particularly as the shooter remains an enigmatic ghost who could be anywhere. The trouble starts when Isaac begins communicating with the sniper (Laith Nakli) by radio, turning the antagonist into something like a James Bond super-villain who taunts and monologues his prey. Throw in a seemingly obligatory redemption angle for one of our main characters and you’ve got a psychologically overstuffed script that only avoids collapse thanks to a couple of stellar set pieces and an idea that shouldn’t require saying: Sniper, trapped soldiers ... whaddaya need, a road map? Opens May 12 at theaters valleywide. (R)—SR

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 BB What was somewhat true of the original is even more so here: The series thinks it’s weird, edgy and transgressive, but it isn’t. Writer-director James Gunn has gone overboard in attempting to remedy the “it’s not about anything” problem of the first film, and in case you missed the idea that Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) and his team—Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), Drax (Dave Bautista) and Groot (Vin Diesel)—are an ad hoc family, someone will be there to remind us. It also seems to think it’s a comedy, but it just isn’t funny enough. Of course, mega-budget blockbusters are carefully calculated and constructed, but they shouldn’t feel like they are. We don’t need the themes explained to us. For all the monster ichor, alien gardens and human(oid) blood flying around, nothing here feels very organic. (PG-13) —MaryAnn Johanson

SPECIAL SCREENINGS THE DESTRUCTION OF MEMORY At Utah Museum of Fine Arts, May 17, 7 p.m. (NR) EVER THE LAND At Main Library, May 16, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

A QUIET PASSION BBB.5 Director Terence Davies nails his dramatization of the life of Emily Dickinson (Cynthia Nixon), bypassing a cradle-to-grave profile in favor of a more impressionistic look at the poet and the 19th-century society that kept her even more penned in than her self-imposed isolation. The dialogue often sparkles with sharp wit, and Davies employs some beautiful filmmaking to convey the passage of time, whether it’s the movement of light across a room or the morphing of younger versions of characters into their older selves during a photo sitting. At the center, there’s Nixon’s striking performance as Emily, daring to express contrarian thinking about God, women’s roles and even her own ambition. Davies guides her to a depiction of the accumulating frustrations of existing in a man’s world, making it easy to wonder how many other women’s beautiful words were never found. (PG-13)—SR

RISK [not yet reviewed] Director Laura Poitras’ documentary profile of WikiLeaks’ controversial editor Julian Assange. Opens May 12 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)

MONDAY 15TH

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MAY 11, 2017 | 27

HELL OR HIGH WATER (2016)

| CITY WEEKLY |

FILM • FOOD • NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: MAY 12TH - MAY 18TH

more than just movies at brewvies

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KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD [not yet reviewed] The latest cinematic tale of the legendary King of the Britons (Charlie Hunnam). Opens May 12 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE At Park City Film Series, May 12-13, 8 p.m.; May 14, 6 p.m. (PG-13)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

JEREMIAH TOWER: THE LAST MAGNIFICENT BB It’s a curious experience getting two-thirds of the way through a movie, only to discover it has finally gotten to the thing it should’ve been about in the first place. Director Lydia Tenaglia spends a lot of time in her documentary about pioneering chef Jeremiah Tower setting up the context for his fame: his 1970s tenure at Berkeley’s Chez Panisse, and the launch of his San Francisco restaurant Stars, which collectively inspired a revolution in “new American cuisine.” That background material—which also establishes his privileged but unhappy childhood—involves plenty of dramatized recreations, talking heads and archival footage, most of which only delivers variations on the idea that Tower was prickly and unknowable even to those closest to him. But then we get to Tower’s decision to come out of retirement in fall 2014 to take over the kitchen of New York’s celebrated Tavern on the Green, and suddenly there’s a real opportunity to follow this intriguing character and actually see the controlling perfectionism we’ve only been hearing about second-hand. This is the main course, and Tenaglia treats it like an after-dinner mint. Opens May 12 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—Scott Renshaw

SNATCHED [not yet reviewed] A mother and daughter (Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer) are kidnapped while on a South American vacation; shenanigans ensue. Opens May 12 at theaters valleywide. (R)


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8 | MAY 11, 2017

TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Texas 3-Step

TV

Love It Like It Leave It

I Love Dick arrives for a full season; Downward Dog ain’t worth a wag. I Love Dick Friday, May 12 (Amazon Prime)

Series Debut: Much has been think-pieced about Transparent showrunner Jill Soloway’s follow-up Amazon Prime series, I Love Dick: It’s a showcase for the rarely dramatized “female gaze,” it’s upending standard methods of linear storytelling, it has “Dick” in the title, etc. But, is it funny and/or moving? The first episode, launched last year in Amazon’s up-voting Pilot Season, answered with a hard “duh.” I Love Dick tells the story of New Yorkers Chris (Katherine Hahn) and Sylvere (Griffin Dunne), who’ve relocated to a Texas artist town. She’s a struggling indie filmmaker, he’s a writer-in-residency, and they’re both obsessed with local cowboy artist Dick (Kevin Bacon)—a rugged bastard who couldn’t care less. If you loved the pilot, you’ll want to spend nine more episodes with Dick.

Get Me Roger Stone Friday, May 12 (Netflix)

Documentary: Listeners of Alex Jones and InfoWars—sorry, failing Liberal Media outlet here, never mind—are familiar with Roger Stone, the veteran Republican adviser who first suggested that Donald Trump run for president, and then helped make it happen. He comes off like a dope, but, after 50 years of being a “malevolent Forrest Gump” figure in American politics, he’s proven to be an effective dope. Stone is also a little weirder than you might imagine: He was fired from Bob Dole’s 1996 presidential campaign after being “outed” as a swinger, he’s marched in Pride parades, and he’s the proud owner of more than one Richard Nixon bong. He and Trump share eerie similarities, but Stone is the more interesting character—maybe after the Cheeto flames out … Stone/Jones 2020?

Mike Tyson Mysteries Sunday, May 14 (Adult Swim)

Season Premiere: Now entering Season 3—yes, really—Mike Tyson (voiced by Tyson as parody or sincerity, no one knows) is still solving(?) mysteries with the help of sidekicks Pigeon (Norm Macdonald), the Marquess of Queensbury’s ghost (Jim Rash) and adopted Korean daughter Yung Hee Tyson

Flowers say it all...

Happy Mother’s Day!

(Rachel Ramras—who’s not even Asian; please alert the Cultural Appropriation Police). This time around, the nowhomeless Team Tyson meets Mike’s nerdy brother, flashes back to their first mystery, hits the car wash, goes to dinner and, most controversially of all, returns to Adult Swim fulltime before Rick & Morty (seriously, what the hell?). Is it too much to wish for a Mike Tyson Mysteries/Rick & Morty crossover event wherein Rick faces off against Pigeon?

Downward Dog Wednesday, May 17 (ABC)

Series Debut: Allison Tolman was going to be a star after the first season of Fargo, they told ya, a star! But then what happened? A Drunk History episode here, an Archer voice there, co-starring in Amazon Prime’s Mad Dogs (don’t worry, no one else saw it, either). And now there’s … this. In ABC midseason-shunted-to-summer filler Downward Dog, Tolman stars as an—everybody say it together—unlucky-in-love, single career woman whose daily travails are observed and commented upon by her overly thinky dog, Martin (voiced by series creator/writer Samm Hodges). It might have worked as a one-minute YouTube series; but as a half-hour TV dramedy, not so much. There’s no there there; and charming, relatable everywoman Tolman can’t carry this dog, or Dog.

Remember

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580 E 300 S SLC 801-363-0565 www.theartfloral.com

I Love Dick (Amazon Prime)

Sinister Minister Sunday, May 28 (Lifetime; rescheduled)

Movie: No, not a reunited ’80s metal band playing the lido deck on that classic-rock cruise you’re booking this summer (just admit it). Sinister Minister is “based on a true story” about single mother Trish (Nikki Howard) being lulled into a sense of security for herself and teen daughter Sienna (Angelica Briones) by—spot the red flags in this descriptor—“charismatic church minister D.J.” (Ryan Patrick Shanahan). Little does Trish know that D.J. is a “serial wife-murderer” who’s plotting to introduce her to Jesus so he can have Sienna all to himself. Which means, if D.J. adheres to his “serial” code, he’ll kill off aged-out Sienna in Sinister Minister 2: Ingénue Boogaloo, and we gotta franchise here!

Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.


MUSIC

Ringmaster Flash

Julian Koster takes his podcast The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air) on tour. BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

I

4 SA HBOETE &R

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producing. Then Cecil Baldwin, star of the Welcome to Night Vale podcast, appeared on Circus around the time that Night Vale’s creators began acquiring similar productions under their Night Vale Presents banner. “They picked us up right away,” Koster says. Circus is a surreal meta-tale of dreams, magic and shattering the doldrums of menial reality. Koster plays the lead character, Julian the janitor, who discusses his experiences with an imaginary friend/narrator (Drew Callender). The first season features an impressive roster of voice actors, including Tim Robbins, John Cameron Mitchell (creator/original title character in Hedwig and the Angry Inch), Charlie Day and Mary Elizabeth Ellis (both of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). Koster’s use of vintage studio gear infuses each episode with a dreamy, faraway atmosphere. “I can put something through a 1940s wire recorder,” he says, “and when I play it back, it’s coming from 70 years ago. It’s like time travel.” In February, Koster released The Orbital Human Circus EP (Merge) and took his collection of musical antiques on the road for live performances throughout the country. He designed the live version of the show so that audiences will be transported. “When people enter the venue, it’ll be kind of like walking into another reality,” Koster says. Before anyone enters the venue, Julian will be there working, as though the show is over and the venue is closed. The idea is to give audience members the sense that they’re walking into a familiar but strange place: Julian’s imagination. Things happen all around you—it’s like walking into an immersive play,” he says. He makes a point to say that no foreknowledge of the podcast is necessary going into the performance. Fans of Circus can check out Koster’s new special, available May 10 through Night Vale Presents. “It’s a five-episode arc of a different story,” he says. When the tour wraps up, Koster will shift Season 2 of the podcast into high gear, accompanied by another musical supplement. “The audience for these stories is great. They’re super devoted and super adventurous.” CW

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F R I D AY S

Thursday, May 11, 7 p.m. Metro Music Hall 615 W. 100 South 385-528-0952 $15 21+ metromusichall.com

thursday, may 11

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THE ORBITING HUMAN CIRCUS (OF THE AIR) FEAT. THE MUSIC TAPES

LIVE Music

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

t’s fitting that this conversation with Julian Koster takes place over the phone. For weeks now, I’ve been a spectator in his surreal audio theater, getting acquainted with the musician/actor/writer’s bright, optimistic voice via his narrative-driven podcast The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air). Much like its protagonist, I feel like I’ve fallen into a reality I thought was only fantasy. For those who have yet to experience the former Neutral Milk Hotel and Elephant 6 Collective alum’s foray into audio storytelling: Circus is the tale of an imaginative janitor who tidies up during a chronologically ambiguous radio show broadcasting from atop the Eiffel Tower. “One nice thing about Paris is that it has this infinite feeling to it,” Koster says. “But as long as you see the Tower, you know where you are.” From a young age, he was attracted to lush, arresting storytelling. He says it’s a “miracle” when actors and audiences get together and lose themselves in imaginary realities. “It’s an amazing tradition, and it’s a great honor to carry that torch,” he says. At first, he tried to create great escapes through music made with whatever instruments he could find. Inspired by concept albums like the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Koster “wanted to make movies for your ears.” These early stages of musical experimentation led him to join Jeff Mangum’s onetime solo project Neutral Milk Hotel, playing on the band’s beloved second album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (Merge, 1998) and the Ferris Wheel on Fire EP (Neutral Milk Hotel Records, 2011). Koster says he and his fellow NMH members were kindred spirits, each making their own concept albums, “building music out of sound effects instead of just instruments.” While in the band, he worked with fellow Elephant 6 compatriot Robbie Cucchiaro on The Music Tapes, playing odd instruments like the musical saw and chord organ and performing in circus tents. From 1997-2012, they issued five albums, an EP and three 7-inch singles. In 2013, Koster shelved TMT for a reunion tour with NMH, which ended in 2015 with a statement saying they were done “for the foreseeable future.” While he continued to experiment with unorthodox instruments and circa-1940s recording equipment, he developed The Orbiting Human Circus. As with NMH and TMT, the podcast/radio show was initially a one-man operation with Koster writing, directing and

Julian Koster

HOME OF THE

CALEB BRYANT MILLER

CONCERT PREVIEW


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30 | MAY 11, 2017

Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last) www.ryeslc.com

The Wild Reeds offer sweet harmonies and head butts.

MAY 11: SCENIC BYWAY

BY LEE ZIMMERMAN comments@cityweekly.net

MAY 12: EAGLE TWIN

oaring vocal harmonies really make a song—just consider the numerous classics by acts like The Everly Brothers, The Beach Boys or Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. On The World We Built (Dualtone)— the new album from Los Angeles-based band The Wild Reeds—the songs are driven by that euphoric intermingling of honeyed vocals. As anyone who’s ever taken a road trip knows, such sing-alongs are ripe for travel. This is where we find Kinsey Lee: answering email questions while navigating highways with her co-frontwomen Sharon Silva and Mackenzie Howe, along with drummer Nick Jones and bass player Nick Phakpiseth. “We’re doing a big lap around the USA,” Lee writes. Lee met Silva while attending a concert at the venerable L.A. club Troubadour, where the former noticed the latter singing along in her seat. Since both attended the same college, they found time to share songs between classes. Howe joined their musical circle after Silva heard her play some original songs at a party. They initially backed one another at open-mic nights, but a mutual friend suggested they combine efforts. This is the genesis of the group’s sound, which involves alternating lead vocals, emphasizing harmonies and pooling strikingly diverse influences: Howe’s affinity for ’60s classic rock; Silva’s penchant for punk, metal, folk and Americana, and Lee’s background in church choirs and various jazz ensembles. When it comes to songwriting, Lee says, “We bring the songs in separately for the most part with lyrics and melodies mapped out. Then we let the beast come to life.”

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New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm

Wild on the Run

The women continue to share new music with each other during the long van rides—steeping the communal creativity that found fruition with their 2014 debut Blind and Brave, a stopgap EP called Best Wishes (2016) and, now, World. Although the releases demonstrate musical and lyrical growth, Lee dismisses the idea that there’s been any sort of planned evolution from one offering to the next. “We try not to compare our albums,” she says. “We have evolved very naturally. We do what we want.” Their organic bloom extends to the pair of Nicks who form their rhythm section. Silva credits Jones for adding drama and intensity to their sound, and even admits that she cried when she heard his first contributions in the studio. She also praises Phakpiseth—who they found after hearing him play at school—for his versatility and the subtle touches he adds to their music. Still, there’s no mistaking the fact that the three women are primarily responsible for The Wild Reeds’ allure. It’s a natural draw, both vocally and visually. Likewise, theirs is clearly a celebratory sound, flush with genuine enthusiasm and exhilaration. The band veers confidently from outright anthems to hazy ballads built on rich textures and sumptuous tones. Those bewitching harmonies take each song to a transcen-

Sharon Silva, Kinsey Lee and Mackenzie Howe of The Wild Reeds

dental place, where surf rock, honky tonk and folk music collide. The tour, which began in late February, will take them to the Newport Folk Festival at the end of July, and keep them on the road at least until mid-August. But while they’ll have plenty of time to cozy up together in their touring van, singing with one another in sugary harmony, Lee says not to expect them to be too sweet on stage. It appears that, in concert, the group’s sound can lean toward something slightly more tumultuous. “Look out for head butts, flingin’ spit, yelling, harmonies, blank stares and moody snarls,” she says. They don’t call themselves wild for nothing. CW

THE WILD REEDS

w/ Blank Range Saturday, May 13, 9 p.m. The State Room 638 S. State 801-596-3560 $15, 21+ thestateroom.com

INTRODUCING! ‘APPY HOUR! 1/2 off Appetizers* M o n - T h u rs 2 - 6 P M *Yes. Even our nachos.

Saturday Brunch 11-3 Sunday Brunch 10-3 Monday Jazz Sessions 7pm w/ David Halliday & the JVQ

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LIVE MUSIC F R I D AY & S AT U R D AY NIGHTS

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COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET BY RANDY HARWARD & BRIAN STAKER

THURSDAY 5/11

Austin-based nine-piece Sweet Spirit’s new album Mojo (Nine Mile) is charmingly disjointed, yet strangely cohesive. Stylistically, the band is all over the place; you can’t guess where the next song is gonna go. Opening track “The Power” starts off like Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll, Pt. 2” performed by The Runaways. Then, “I Wanna Have You” follows with lead vocalist Sabrina Ellis and guitarist Andrew Cashen singing a lusty millennial cracker-soul duet. Next up, “Bat Macumba” rocks hard and fast, but conjures confusing references; it’s like The Polyphonic Spree meets Daptone meets The Clash meets U.K.-mod-via-The Jam. Then there are ballads, songs that mine doowop, grunge, country—but the band’s moxie, or mojo, is a strong through-line. Now, their two local openers also dig old sounds, just not as many. Mad Max & the Wild Ones is mainly about rockabilly, and Queenadilla does blues-rock at volume. But, as Sweet Spirt proves on Mojo, the songs don’t all have to sound the same. (Randy Harward) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $8, all ages, kilbycourt.com

FRIDAY 5/12 Eagle Twin, INVDRS

For more than two decades, Gentry Densley has been SLC’s chief purveyor of heavy experimental music. First it was with cult metal-math-jazzcore band Iceburn, which was at one time big enough to call itself “Iceburn Collective.” Then, for the past decade, it was with a much smaller outfit: Eagle Twin, a duo comprised of Densley

Eagle Twin

DAVID B. HALL

Sweet Spirit, Mad Max & the Wild Ones, Queenadilla

on baritone guitar and drummer Tyler Smith—Densley’s bandmate in Iceburn and Form of Rocket. While Iceburn reunited last year for a few shows and are working on an album, the question on everyone’s minds is, “Whither new Eagle Twin jams?” Their last album, The Feather Tipped the Serpent’s Scale (Southern Lord), came out in 2009. Relax, folks—it’s coming. The band has been working on two new joints: The Thundering Heard (Songs of Hoof and Horn) comes later this summer, with The Lightning Dark (Hymns of Halos and Arrows) due a year later. Local doom merchants INVDRS open. (Brian Staker) Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., free, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

Flogging Molly, The White Buffalo, Dylan Walshe

The whole Celtic rock band thing is tired, played out since the early- to mid-aughts— except for a select few bands. Chief among them is Flogging Molly, led by Dave King, an actual Irishman and a veteran of metal bands Fastway (with ex-Motörhead gui-

Sweet Spirit tarist “Fast” Eddie Clarke and UFO bass player Pete Way) and Katmandu. Yes, of course I’m saying Flogging Molly is the alpha Celt-rock band because King is Irish and has played in metal bands. You see, when it comes to this kind of music, you’ve got to have something unique. Since forming nearly a quarter-century ago, King and company’s calling card has been a more intense take on the traditional Irish folk. It’s earned Molly fans of all ages and stripes, who’ve all anxiously awaited Life Is Good (Vanguard), the band’s first album in six years. It’s calmer than you’d expect, but not wildly divergent since it’s crammed with another of Flogging Molly’s best attributes: King’s ace songwriting, reminiscent of Billy Bragg and Joe Strummer. (RH) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m. (doors), $33, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

Flogging Molly

RICHIE SMYTHE

LORIE MOULTIN

32 | MAY 11, 2017

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riddled with, bone, rust saturday 5/13

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MAY 11, 2017 | 33

Any band that has to pick up the pieces after their original singer goes solo, gets fired or dies is in a difficult position. Warrant’s Jani Lane checked all three items off that list, and his bandmates carried on with two singers known to glam metal fans: first with Jamie St. James of Black ‘N Blue, then a shortlived Lane reunion, and now with Robert Mason (Lynch Mob, Cry of Love). Even when someone sounds as good as Arnel Pineda, Journey’s pint-sized, Filipino Steve Perry sound-alike, the new guy still looks out of place. With Mason, Warrant lucked out. Lane wrote and sang the songs, and his particular hangdog look and sound seemed irreplaceable—but Mason sounds great on the band’s signature songs, like “Down Boys,” “Heaven” and “Cherry Pie.” However, on the two albums featuring Mason—Rockaholic (2011) and especially the new one, Louder Harder Faster (Frontiers Records)—Warrant doesn’t sound like Warrant. It’s still glam metal; but, minus Lane, the band sounds different, likely from having the confidence to move on and let Mason sound like himself. (RH) Leatherheads Sports Bar 12101 S. Factory Outlet Drive, Draper, 8 p.m., $27 presale, $32 day of show, 21+

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Local singer/songwriter Cory Mon has had some ups and downs over the course of his career, but then that’s perhaps part of the genre, suffused with storytelling. One of the ups was being named a finalist in the City Weekly Music Awards local band competition in 2011. Then, when tour plans were waylaid in 2014, he went on a kind of artist’s retreat in Hawaii, which spawned new songs and renewed hope. His music is reminiscent of once-local, nownationally esteemed Jerry Joseph: rootsrock with a funky side, and lyrical themes refined in the fire of difficult experience, amounting to songs that are cathartic and joyful (like with the hip-thrusting soul of “Beat of My Heart”). Mon has released a number of collections, including some with his former band Starlight Gospel. His latest EP, Heaven Don’t Let Me Down, is selfreleased on Bandcamp. (BS) Hog Wallow, 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 9:30 p.m., $7, 21+, thehogwallow.com


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THURSDAY 5/11

CONCERTS & CLUBS

RYAN CHANG

Hotel Garuda, Wingtip

What does it mean to have 25 million streams on Soundcloud? Or rave reviews from Billboard, Complex and Harper’s Bazaar (that last one seems a bit bizarre)? It means, for fans of electronic dance music, that Hotel Garuda—the DJ/producer duo of Manila Killa and Candle Weather—is at least good enough to listen to for free. But so is any other artist these days. It’s odd, though, to see such astronomical stats. Once upon a time, if those pertained to sales of a single album, Hotel Garuda would be the dance music kings of Molly Mountain—and music in general, because 25 mil would equal 25x platinum, or roughly 800,000 more than Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. But it’s a new time, and music is a whole new business. Hotel Garuda isn’t even close to actually selling that many full albums, but when you can listen for nothing, you listen more—and even then, those numbers are still nothin’ to sneeze at. The pair’s blend of old-school soul and modern house and EDM music, as heard on their Eternal Sun Tour Mixtape (soundcloud.com/hotelgarudamusic), makes some great background noise for work or chill. Of course, those numbers are based, in part, on HG’s remixes and collabs with other artists. “Smoke Signals,” released last year, is their debut original single (PRMD Music)—but so far, it’s sitting at 1.52 million streams. That’s pretty respectable, even under the new music biz model. (Randy Harward) Club Elevate, 155 W. 200 South, 9 p.m., $15 presale, $20 day of show, 21+, facebook.com/thehotelclubelevate

THURSDAY 5/11 LIVE MUSIC

Patio Time has arrived!

Alan Michael (Garage on Beck) Benny Benassi (Sky) Hotel Garuda (Club Elevate) see above Jesse Hunter (Alleged) Morgan Hunter (Hog Wallow Pub) The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air) feat. The Music Tapes (Metro Music Hall) see p. 29 Snak the Ripper + Dusk + Auratorikal + DJ Mixter Mike + The Dead Walkers (Urban Lounge) Sweet Spirit + Mad Max and the Wild Ones + Queendilla (Kilby Court) see p. 32

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos: South & Drew (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) The New Wave (‘80s Night) (Area 51)

FRIDAY 5/12 LIVE MUSIC

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY 5.11 5.12 5.13 5.15

MORGAN SNOW CORY MON THE POUR OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

5.17 5.18 5.19 5.20

KEVYN DERN BOOKENDS STONEFED CROOK AND THE BLUFF

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness + Atlas Genius + Night Riots (The Depot) Barns Courtney + Foxtrax (Kilby Court) Dead Horse Trauma + DiseNgaged + Always 2 Late + A Lily Gray (Liquid Joe’s) Derek Davis and the Revolutionary Souls (Liquid Joe’s) Divisions + Separation of Self + Native/ Tongue + I Am Haunted + Dethrone the Sovereign (Metro Music Hall) Chad Ellis Band (Outlaw Saloon) Cory Mon (Hog Wallow Pub) see p. 33 Eagle Twin + INVDRS (Urban Lounge) see p. 32 Fictionist and Friends (Velour) Flogging Molly + The White Buffalo + Dylan Walshe (The Complex) see p. 32 Ginger & the Gents (Funk ‘n’ Dive Bar)

Vibe: A Multi-Sensory EDM Experience feat. Hearts + Friendzone + Wat Music? (Sky) see Five Spot, p. 8 The Johnny Utahs (Funk ‘n’ Dive Bar) Lavelle Dupree (Downstairs) Michelle Moonshine Band (Garage on Beck) N-U-Endo (Club 90) Old Crow Medicine Show (Eccles Theatre) Parlour Hounds (The Spur) Pink Rhythm + Sydney Blue + Kristina Sky (In the Venue)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos: Troy & South (Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

SATURDAY 5/13 LIVE MUSIC

Brisk (Downstairs) Bulletproof (The Spur Bar and Grill) Chad Ellis Band (Outlaw Saloon) Fictionist and Friends (Velour) Fortunate Youth + Josh Heinrichs + Iya Terra (Royal) Green Jelly + Chronic Trigger + MuckRaker + Maloik (Metro Music Hall) The Howls + Go Suburban + Star Crossed Loners + Hard Times (Kilby Court) Ivy Local (album release) + DJ Serge du Preea (Urban Lounge) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Manzy Lowery (Garage on Beck) Metal Dogs (Brewskis) N-U-Endo (Club 90) Never Shout Never (In the Venue) The Pour (The Hog Wallow Pub) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Warrant (Leatherheads Sports Bar) see p. 33 The Wild Reeds + Blank Range (The State Room) see p. 30

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos: Troy & Jules (Tavernacle) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig Pub) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Sky Saturdays w/ Miss DJ LUX (Sky)

SUNDAY 5/14 LIVE MUSIC

Decrepit Birth + The Zenith Passage + The Kennedy Veil (Metro Music Hall) Morgan Snow and Friends (Garage on Beck)


Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Poet (Ogden City Amphitheater) The Windemeres + Let’s Get Famous + Lovely Noughts (The Loading Dock)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Red Cup Event w/ DJ Juggy (Downstairs)

MONDAY 5/15 LIVE MUSIC

The Happy Fits + Motion Coaster + Pacificana (Kilby Court) LP + Josiah and the Bonnevilles (The State Room) Rick Gerber (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub)

TUESDAY 5/16 LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Cabin Fever & Miss DJ Lux (The Cabin) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

WEDNESDAY 5/17 LIVE MUSIC

Affiance + Convictions + Far From + In Dimensions + False Witness + To Speak of Wolves (The Loading Dock) Frontier Ruckus (The State Room) Kevyn Dern (Hog Wallow Pub) Lee Dewyze (Weber State Central Campus) Michelle Moonshine Band (The Spur Bar and Grill) Pinkish Black + Pleasure Avalanche + Portal to the God Damn Blood Dimension (Metro Music Hall) Rhyme Time + Show Me Island (Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

DJ Birdman (Twist) Dueling Pianos : JD & Dave (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Velour) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

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Comrades + Rival Choir + Glaciers in Pangea (The Loading Dock) Golden Plates + A Cold One + Victus and the Dirt Nappers (Metro Music Hall) Le Voir + RS2090 + Band of Shadows + Forest Feathers (Urban Lounge)

Oh Malô + Panthermilk + Middle Mountain + MMEND (Kilby Court) Riley McDonald (The Spur) Through the Roots (Club Elevate) Vagora + Zombicock + Bag Lady + CJ Coop (Club X)

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MAY 11, 2017 | 35


© 2017

TABLE

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Double ____ Oreos 2. John or Paul, but not Ringo 3. Bancroft or Boleyn 4. Amber-colored brew 5. Accountant’s concern 6. Sunflower relative 7. Somewhat 8. Home run jog 9. Itty-bitty biter

54. Word that comes from the Greek for “indivisible” 55. “Fuhgeddaboudit” 56. Olympian Louganis 57. + and - particles 58. “Kapow!” 59. “American Pie” actor Eugene 60. Peer group? 61. Derek Jeter’s jersey number 62. Glob of gum

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

10. Line of clothing? 11. Turgenev called him the “great author of the Russian land” 12. Wonderment 13. Shook hands, say 21. 1980s sitcom filmed with a puppet 22. Outlawed pollutant, for short 25. Fairy tale sister 26. “Easy there” 27. Something just under one’s nose, slangily 28. Jackson, Lincoln and Madison, for three 29. End-of-semester handout 31. Shaw of the big band era 32. It’s picked up in bars 33. “Thanks, but I already ____” 34. Played the first card 39. State with a peninsula: Abbr. 40. :-D alternative 41. “The only way to run away without leaving home,” per Twyla Tharp 45. Put away, as a sword 47. Cry with “humbug!” 48. Get an ____ (ace) 49. Keeps under wraps 52. Not one’s best effort, in coachspeak

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. “This is ____!” (line from the 2006 film “300”) 7. You can bank on them 11. Hydroelectricity structure 14. Figure skater Harding and others 15. Gooey cheese 16. Be in hock 17. On deck 18. Smidge 19. Movie filming spot 20. Not much of a try 23. Title on “Downton Abbey” 24. Gear teeth 27. Thing driven on construction sites 30. Cartoon friend of Dumb Donald and Mush Mouth 35. Balcony, e.g. 36. $15/hour, e.g. 37. Shape of some shirt necks 38. Org. for Nadal and Federer 39. Tow truck type 42. Where to board a train: Abbr. 43. A.F.L.-____ 44. Singer of “Footloose” 45. Timetable, informally 46. Celestial Seasonings’ SleepyTime, e.g. 49. In a bashful manner 50. “Cómo ___ usted?” 51. 2015 award for “Hamilton” 53. Modern restroom amenity ... or this puzzle’s theme 61. Former rival of Pan Am 63. Zodiaco animal 64. Rick with the 1988 #1 hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” 65. Card game for two 66. Unwrap 67. Native Arizonan 68. Like the year 2017 69. Ryan and Whitman 70. “Public ____ Wife” (1936 mobster film)

SUDOKU

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

Massage & Medicinals 619 S 600 W 9AM-9PM

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “Kiss the flame and it is yours,” poet Thomas Lux teased. What do you think he was hinting at? It’s a metaphorical statement, of course. You wouldn’t want to literally thrust your lips and tongue into a fire. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you might benefit from exploring its meanings. Where to begin? May I suggest you visualize making out with the steady burn at the top of a candle? My sources tell me that doing so at this particular moment in your evolution will help kindle a new source of heat and light in your deep self—a fresh fount of glowing power that will burn sweet and strong like a miniature sun.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Right now, the word “simplicity” is irrelevant. You’ve got silky profundities to play with, slippery complications to relish and lyrical labyrinths to wander around in. I hope you use these opportunities to tap into more of your subterranean powers. From what I can discern, your deep dark intelligence is ready to provide you with a host of fresh clues about who you really are and where you need to go. P.S.: You can become better friends with the shadows without compromising your relationship to the light. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You can bake your shoes in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 40 minutes, but that won’t turn them into loaves of bread. Know what I’m saying, Sagittarius? Just because a chicken has wings doesn’t mean it can fly over the rainbow. Catch my drift? You’ll never create a silk purse out of dental floss and dead leaves. That’s why I offer you the following advice: In the next two weeks, do your best to avoid paper tigers, red herrings, fool’s gold, fake news, Trojan horses, straw men, pink elephants, convincing pretenders and invisible bridges. There’ll be a reward if you do: close encounters with shockingly beautiful honesty and authenticity that will be among your most useful blessings of 2017.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) According to my lyrical analysis of the astrological omens, here are examples of the kinds of experiences you might encounter in the next 21 days: 1. interludes that reawaken memories of the first time you fell in love; 2. people who act like helpful, moon-drunk angels just in the nick of time; 3. healing music or provocative art that stirs a secret part of you—a sweet spot you had barely been aware of; 4. an urge arising in your curious heart to speak the words, “I invite lost and exiled beauty back into my life.” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Ex-baseball player Eric DuBose was pulled over by Florida cops who spotted him driving his car erratically. They required him to submit to a few tests, hoping to determine whether he had consumed too much alcohol. “Can you recite the alphabet?” they asked. “I’m from the great state of Alabama,” DuBose replied, “and they have a different alphabet there.” I suggest, Pisces, that you try similar gambits whenever you find yourself in odd interludes or tricky transitions during the coming days—which I suspect will happen more than usual. Answer the questions you want to answer rather than the ones you’re asked, for example. Make jokes that change the subject. Use the powers of distraction and postponement. You’ll need extra slack, so seize it!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Will sex be humdrum and predictable in the coming weeks? No! On the contrary. Your interest in wandering out to the frontiers of erotic play could rise quite high. You might be animated and experimental in your approach to intimate communion, whether it’s with another person or with yourself. Need any suggestions? Check out the “butterflies-in-flight” position or the “spinning wheel of roses” maneuver. Try the “hum-andchuckle kissing dare” or the “churning radiance while riding the rain cloud” move. Or just invent your own variations and give them funny names that add to the adventure.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The process by which Zoo Jeans are manufactured is unusual. First, workers wrap and secure sheets of denim around car tires or big rubber balls, and take their raw creations to the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi City, Japan. There the denim-swaddled objects are thrown into pits where tigers or lions live. As the beasts roughhouse with their toys, they rip holes in the cloth. Later, the material is retrieved and used to sew the jeans. Might this story prove inspirational for you in the coming weeks? I suspect it will. Here’s one possibility: You could arrange for something wild to play a role in shaping an influence you will have an intimate connection with.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Africa’s highest mountain is Mount Kilimanjaro. Though it’s near the equator, its peak is covered year-round with glaciers. In 2001, scientists predicted that global warming would melt them all by 2015. But that hasn’t happened. The ice cap is still receding slowly. It could endure for a while, even though it will eventually disappear. Let’s borrow this scenario as a metaphor for your use, Virgo. First, consider the possibility that a certain thaw in your personal sphere isn’t unfolding as quickly as you anticipated. Second, ruminate on the likelihood that it will, however, ultimately come to pass. Third, adjust your plans accordingly.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions,” Irish writer Oscar Wilde said. “I want to use them, to enjoy them and to dominate them.” In my opinion, that might be one of the most radical vows ever formulated. Is it even possible for us human beings to gracefully manage our unruly flow of feelings? What you do in the coming weeks could provide evidence that the answer to that question might be yes. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are now in a position to learn more about this high art than ever before.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Your symbol of power during the next three weeks is a key. Visualize it. What picture pops into your imagination? Is it a bejeweled golden key like what might be used to access an old treasure chest? Is it a rustic key for a garden gate or an oversized key for an ornate door? Is it a more modern thing that locks and unlocks car doors with radio waves? Whatever you choose, Gemini, I suggest you enshrine it in as an inspirational image in the back of your mind. Just assume that it will subtly inspire and empower you to find the metaphorical “door” that leads to the CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) next chapter of your life story. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Capricorns are the least likely to believe in mythical utopias like Camelot or El Dorado or Shambhala. CANCER (June 21-July 22) You are free to reveal yourself in your full glory. For once in your You tend to be über-skeptical about the existence of legendary vanlife, you have cosmic clearance to ask for everything you want ished riches like the last Russian czar’s Fabergé eggs or King John’s without apology. This is the later you have been saving yourself crown jewels. And yet if wonderlands and treasures like those for. Here comes the reward for the hard work you’ve been doing really do exist, I’m betting that some might soon be discovered by that no one has completely appreciated. If the universe has Capricorn explorers. Are there unaccounted-for masterpieces by any prohibitions or inhibitions to impose, I don’t know what Georgia O’Keeffe buried in a basement somewhere? Is the score of they are. If old karma has been preventing the influx of special a lost Mozart symphony tucked away in a seedy antique store? I predispensations and helpful X-factors, I suspect that old karma dict that your tribe will specialize in unearthing forgotten valuables, homing in on secret miracles and locating missing mother lodes. has at least temporarily been neutralized.

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VIVINT.SMARTHOME

ALL THE NEWS THAT WON’T FIT IN PRINT

Long-long-long-read Interviews With Local Bands, Comedians, Artists, Podcasters, Fashionistas And Other Creators Of Cool Stuff. Only On Cityweekly.net!

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In Other Airport News ...

I love to travel, and I especially love to fly. Don’t you? As long as I’m not sitting next to a screaming baby whose ears won’t pop, or dragged down an aisle because I wouldn’t give up my seat to a crew member, I love it. I have to laugh about the tiny ashtrays (now welded shut) in the armrests of some of the really old planes. Seriously, in the days of flying dinosaurs, we used to book seats in the smoking or non-smoking section. The second the non-smoking lights above our seats turned off, we smokers all lit up simultaneously and the entire plane would be full of smoke in minutes. I’ve since kicked the habit, but I feel sad that our airport just got rid of the smoking rooms for the remaining fiends out there. You can still smoke/vape, though, at the main airports in Atlanta, Denver, Cincinnati, Las Vegas, Tampa, Washington Dulles International and Nashville. Granted, the smoking lounges are often crowded, hard to find, and you might be forced to buy a drink or a cigar in order to light up, but they’re there if you really need a fix. Renting a car at an airport has become easier over the years, but getting the tank filled up just before you return it can be a challenge. Denver’s airport is in the middle of fields far away from the city and its last chance for gas is almost a small city itself. You’ll pay a premium for getting gas there, too. In Salt Lake City, the closest gas to the airport is on Redwood and North Temple— not far at all. And it’s going to be much closer soon because part of the newly designed Salt Lake City International Airport is a gas station and convenience store in the waiting area for cars/pickup. That’s right—as of June 1, we’ll have a new, larger park-and-wait lot just south of the existing lot and west of Terminal Drive. The 86-ish parking spaces there now (people park on the curbs when it’s busy) will become 120 spaces. Chevron won the bid for the new station, and it will have a Beans & Brews Coffee House (yay for local!), a Burger King and a Costa Vida. Plus, there’ll be an electric charging station. There’s more coming to our little Delta hub, including Trax trains that let you off inside the terminal. But that’s another story down the line. n

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Poets Corner TELEVISI ON SET

My eyes became a television set And each blink A burst of static For some reason the only channels I had showed Dramas Horror And a weather alert that interrupted my quiet moment Once I had a romantic comedy play But it was on the Latino channel and I didn’t understand the ending

STEVIE MITCHELL Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101or e-mail to poetscorner@ cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

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Entrepreneurial Spirit A San Francisco startup recently introduced a countertop gadget to squeeze fruit and vegetables for you so that your hands don’t get sore. However, the Juicero a) Requires that the fruit and veggies be pre-sliced in precise sections conveniently available for purchase from the Juicero company, b) Has, for some reason, a Wi-Fi connection, and c) Sells for $399. Bonus: Creator Jeff Dunn originally priced it at $699, but had to discount it after brutal shopper feedback. Double Bonus: Venture capitalists actually invested $120 million to develop the Juicero, anticipating frenzied consumer love.

WEIRD

Great Art! Artist Lucy Gafford of Mobile, Ala., has a flourishing audience of fans (exact numbers not revealed), reported al.com in March, but lacking a formal “brick and mortar” gallery show, she must exhibit her estimated 400 pieces online only. Gafford, who has long hair, periodically flings loose, wet strands onto her shower wall and arranges them into designs, which she photographs and posts, at a rate of about one new creation a week since 2014. Monument to Flossing Russian artist Mariana Shumkova is certainly doing her part for oral hygiene, publicly unveiling her St. Petersburg statuette of a frightening, malformed head displaying actual extracted human teeth, misaligned and populating holes in the face that represent the mouth and eyes. She told Pravda in April that “only [something with] a strong emotional impact” would make people think about tooth care.

Criminal Defenses Unlikely to Succeed To protest a disorderly conduct charge in Sebastian, Fla., in March, Kristen Morrow, 37, and George Harris, 25, (who were so “active” under a blanket that bystanders complained) began screaming at a sheriff’s deputy that Morrow is a “famous music talent” and that both are with the Illuminati. The shadowy Illuminati, if it exists, reputedly forbids associates to acknowledge that it exists. Morrow and Harris were arrested. n Wesley Pettis, 24, charged with damaging 60 trees in West Jordan, Utah, in 2016, was ordered to probation and counseling in March, stemming from his defense that, well, the trees had hurt him first.

DOG WALKERS

Rich Numbers in the News A one-bedroom, rotting-wood bungalow built in 1905 in the Rockridge neighborhood of Oakland, Calif., sold in April for $755,000 ($260,000 over the asking price).

n Business Week reported in April that Wins Finance Holdings (part of the Russell 2000 small-company index) has reported stock price fluctuations since its 2015 startup—of as much as 4,555 percent—and that no one knows why. n New Zealand officials reported in March that Apple had earned more than NZ$4.2 billion ($2.88 billion in U.S. dollars) in sales last year, but according to the country’s rules, did not owe a penny in income tax.

Why? Just … Because The AquaGenie, subject of a current crowdfunding campaign, would be a $70 water bottle with Wi-Fi. Fill the bottle and enter your “water goals”; the app will alert you to various courses of action if you’ve insufficiently hydrated yourself. Already on the Market A company called Blacksocks has introduced Calf Socks Classic With Plus—a pair of socks with an internet connection. The smartphone app can help you color-match your socks and tell you, among other things, whether it’s time to wash them. You can buy 10 pairs for $189.

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Dark Day for Competitive Eating A 42-year-old man choked to death on April 2 at a Voodoo Doughnut shop in Denver as he accepted the store’s “Tex-Ass Challenge” to eat a half-pounder (equivalent of six regular doughnuts) in 80 seconds. Later the same day, in Fairfield, Conn., a 21-year-old college student died, three days after collapsing, choking, at a pancake-eating contest at the Sacred Heart University student center. Recurring Themes Prominent tax avoider Winston Shrout, 69, was convicted in April on 13 fraud counts and six of “willful” failure to file federal returns during 2009 to 2014—despite his clever defense, which jurors in Portland, Ore., apparently ignored. Shrout, through seminars and publications, had created a cottage industry teaching ways to beat the tax code, but had managed always to slyly mention that his tips were “void where prohibited by law” to show that he lacked the requisite “intent” to commit crimes. Among Shrout’s schemes: He once sent homemade “International Bills of Exchange” to a small community bank in Chicago apparently hoping the bank would carelessly launder them into legal currency, but—in violation of the “keep a low profile” rule—he had given each IBE a face value of $1 trillion. Readers’ Choice A successful business in Austin, Texas, collapsed recently with the arrests of the husband-and-wife owners of a massage parlor, who had come to police attention when sewer workers fixing a backed-up pipe noticed that the problem was caused by “hundreds of condoms” jamming the connection to the couple’s Jade Massage Therapy. n Scott Dion, who has a sometimes-contentious relationship with the Hill County, Mont., tax office, complained in April that he had paid his property bill with a check, but, as before, had written a snarky message on the memo line. He told reporters that the treasurer had delayed cashing the check (potentially creating a late fee for Dion), apparently because Dion had written “sexual favors” on the memo line.

Thanks this week to Larry Neer, Alex Boese, Peter Burkholder, Alex Cortade, Bob Stewart, Mel Birge, Gerald Sacks, Conan Witzel and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

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MAY 11, 2017 | 39

Legendary German Engineering The state-of-the-art Berlin Brandenburg Airport, originally scheduled to open in 2012, has largely been completed, but ubiquitous malfunctions have moved the opening back to at least 2020. Among the problems: cabling wrongly laid out; escalators too short; 4,000 doors incorrectly numbered; a chief planner who turned out to be an impostor; complete failure of the “futuristic” fire safety system, e.g., no smoke exhaust and no working

All saints, sinners, sisterwives and...

| COMMUNITY |

Raising a Hardy Generation Preschoolers at the Elves and Fairies Woodland Nursery in Edmondsham, England, rough it all day long outside, using tools (even a saw!), burning wood, planting crops. Climbing ropes and rolling in the mud also are encouraged. Kids as young as age 2 grow and cook herbs and vegetables—incidentally absorbing arithmetic by measuring ingredients. In its most recent accreditation inspection, the nursery was judged “outstanding.”

alarms (provoking a suggested alternative to just hire 800 low-paid staff to walk around the airport and watch for fires). The initial $2.2 billion price tag is now $6.5 billion and counting.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Bright Ideas Though complete details were not available in news reports of the case, it is nonetheless clear that magistrates in Llandudno, Wales, had ordered several punishments in April for David Roberts, 50, including probation, a curfew, paying court costs, and, in the magistrates’ words, that Roberts attend a “thinking skills” course. Roberts had overreacted to a speeding motorcyclist on a footpath by later installing a chest-high, barbedwire line across the path that almost slashed another cyclist. A search did not turn up “thinking skills” courses in Wales—or in America, where they are certainly badly needed, even though successful classes of that type would surely make News of the Weird’s job harder.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD


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